fake dating trope

So, she's not the best at making life choices. What's new? She really doesn't need anyone to tell her that, she was fully aware of the fact. But still...there was something about the text messages shining brightly into her one eye that was opened that just spelled trouble for her. For a moment, she thought of ignoring them all together but that would only make things worse.

'What the fuck Hyuga.'

'Since when did this even happen?'

'Wake up you asshole!'

'You sleep like the dead.'

Xin rubs tiredly at her face, still buried deeply under her mountains of blankets. She tries hard to concentrate on Karin's barrage of text messages, blearily wondering what the hell she'd done to warrant such abuse so early in the morning.

It was actually two in the afternoon but dammit, she's hungover.

'What did I do?'

A reply was sent immediately, a blurry picture popping up in their chat. It's several seconds of staring at it to realize that it was a video and not an actual picture.

God, she was so trashed. She weakly smacks at the video, trying her best to press the big ass play button and failing several times. Never again, she thinks miserably, never again was she drinking. Finally—fuckin' finally—she gets the goddamn video to play.

The camera is trained on her back as she sits at the bar with loud club music playing in the background. Her face is turned towards the left, lips puckered, and visible eyebrow raised as she watches something offscreen. Rock Lee. Rock Lee had been doing this drunken dance and somehow managed to do a handstand without falling over and breaking a fuckin' bone or two. It was impressive, really, judging by the look on her face. However, it's the heavily tattooed arm anchored to her waist that has Karin freaking out. The brightly colored limb is attached to a wide torso, black t-shirt stretched attractively across broad shoulders. An appreciative hum escapes Xin as the video pans to the right falling right on….

Oh, holy hell.

That's fuckin' Gaara.

Fuckin' Gaara.

Campus' resident bad boy and the bane of her existence. Okay, well maybe not the 'bane' of her existence, per se. That would suggest that Gaara ruined her life at some point and that just wasn't the case. The problem with being the bane of her existence suggests that he'd have to acknowledge her first.

Which, he'd never done.

See, Sobaku Gaara and Hyuga Xin were on opposite ends of the spectrum. He was the heavily tattooed bad boy, a former gangbanger, or so the rumors say. She, on the other hand, was some uppity rich girl that hadn't realized that being poor was an actual thing and not just an urban legend told to scare curious rich girls into staying the fuck away from normal people prior to college.

And Xin, sweet, dumbass Xin, had fallen head over heels for him the moment she spotted him across the coffee shop her first year at college. Of course, she'd been warned off from even approaching him. Dude was a whole gangbanger and Xin had no skills whatsoever that involved the real world.

So, she crushed on him from afar.

Which, no, despite what Tenten says, does not make her a creepy stalker. It doesn't, goddammit.

Anyway…

The point, goddammit, was that for some unknown reason, Gaara was hugged up on her at some shitty club and she couldn't remember why.

The video continues to play, showing the attractive veins in Gaara's neck as he leans back far enough to peer around her to watch Lee as well. There's a loud crash offscreen followed by a drunken chorus of 'oooh shit' and someone cackling insanely. Club Xin and Gaara both cringe before turning at the same time to look at one another, grins stretching across their faces as they share a laugh at poor Lee's expanse.

What. The. Hell.

Xin drops her phone and presses her face into the mattress, fingers sinking deeply into her hair that looks like a bird's nest. She closes her eyes tightly and continues prodding at her scalp, as if she could simply pick the memory from her brain.

Wait...

Oh yeah.

Last Night.

She's the Queen of Bad Decisions.

She realizes this, of course, after Masaru has not only the nerve to break up with her but to do it by cheating on her with that redhead amazon, Yoshiko. But honestly, she's not all that surprised that it even went down the way it did. And really, she's not broken-hearted or something ridiculous like that. They'd only been dating a month or so, after all.

She's embarrassed.

She's Hyuga Xin, for shit's sake. She isn't supposed to get cheated on. She holes up in her apartment for a good week after the blow up, not sure how she'll ever show her face in public again. She's dumb but she certainly isn't deaf. She was acutely aware of the rumors spreading about her. That she was frigid and uppity, thought she was too good. That Masaru fianlly pried her legs apart and wasn't satisfied with her. That she was lazy and expected him to do all the work.

And honestly, what the hell.

She wasn't frigid or uppity. Clueless, maybe. Fuckin' dumb, okay that was fair. But frigid? How the fuck was she frigid? What, she doesn't drop her panties for Masaru and that just makes her a prude? And who the hell is even spreading these rumors, anyway? Either she's frigid or she's lazy at sex. She couldn't be both.

That's why she finds herself wandering down south street, looking for the bar Ino insists upon. She's on a mission to prove that she isn't frigid and that Masaru cheating on her wasn't enough to shatter her down into a simpering mess. So, she squeezes herself into the tightest pair of jeans Ino could find and a cropped tube top hugging her slight torso just right and ventures out into Downtown.

And promptly runs right into Yoshiko in front of the club.

Perfect. Just perfect. Yoshiko is tall and delicately structured with slim curves and flirtatious eyes. The complete opposite of Xin's short stature and well...okay she's not fat but she's not slim either. She's somewhere stuck in the middle.

Thick, is what Karin likes to say. That's even her contact name in her phone, Thiccums.

Yoshiko leers at her, smiling as if she'd won the summer Olympics or something. "Oi, Hyuga, so nice to see you!" she crows in a voice dipped in honey. "Aw, coming to the club alone? My, my, how brave."

Xin almost hits her. Seriously. She almost hits her with a closed fit and a vicious snarl to match. She knows when she's being mocked and right now, Yoshiko is mocking the living shit out of her.

"I'm actually meeting someone."

The statement falls from her mouth before she could really think about it. She's lost her shit; she knows damn well she's lost her shit. Liars never prosper, she reminds herself. The term is actually cheaters never prosper but fuck that, it doesn't apply right now. Yoshiko's pink mouth hangs open and Xin considers telling her that the pink clashes garishly with her red hair. She cannot believe this is the girl Masaru cheated on her with, an idiot who doesn't even know her color wheel, but keeps the comment to herself. Birds of a feather flock together, she reminds herself in an attempt to feel better.

It doesn't really work.

What does work, however, is the leggy blonde that just materializes out of thin fuckin' air to wrap Xin up in a friendly hug. Ino is tall, beautiful and fun to be around. Unlike Yoshiko who knows shit about what colors makes her look good and what doesn't, Ino is wrapped in a tight purple dress that compliments her blonde hair and blue eyes. She looks good, too good, but one can only expect that from a part-time model and full-time babe. "Oh, you made it!"

Xin can smell the lingering scent of fruity alcohol on Ino's breath. It's not heavy enough to disgust her but it causes her to be aware that Ino was probably on her seventh shot since texting her eight minutes ago.

Impressive, really.

"I thought you'd never come. You shouldn't keep a man waiting, you know. They have fragile egos."

Wait, what?

Yoshiko chuckles, "what man?"

Ino notices Yoshiko at that point and she stares at the redhead for a long moment before sharply turning away. Even Xin cringes at the blatant dismissal but she can't find it in her to care. Clearly Ino is a ride or die bitch. Yoshiko flounders like an open-mouthed fish as Ino pulls Xin into the club.

Heat settles over her, heavy and muggy as pulsing bodies rub up against her. It's not her cup of tea but Ino moves expertly through the crowd, using her long freakish legs to look for someone. Xin doesn't even bother, she can't see much at her pathetic height. She tugs Xin along towards the bar, leaning across it and flashing a generous amount of cleavage in exchange for two cups filled to the brim with who knows what.

The cup is shoved at Xin and she has no choice but to take it lest she wants it running down her top. "It tastes like fruit!" Ino grins, pressing her own cup to her lips and downing half the contents effortlessly.

Ino is a fuckin' alcoholic.

But Xin isn't frigid, and Yoshiko is right fuckin' there, breathing down her neck, so she follows Ino's lead and downs half her cup.

Instant regret.

By the grace of God, she gets it down and doesn't immediately start coughing and gagging, so win for her. But God Almighty, how can anyone stomach that shit? People did this for fun? This was how college students destressed? What was wrong with stuffing one's face with unhealthy snacks and binge-watching Netflix's The Witcher?

"Ah...oh...there! Gaara's waiting for you. He almost left!"

Ino smacks Xin's back and she nearly loses her cup. Which, in hindsight, wouldn't be so bad because she isn't sure she has the stomach to down the rest of the shit sloshing in the plastic cup. She looks up into the direction Ino is rudely pointing in only to come to a hard pause when she realizes what Ino said. Gaara. Sobaku Gaara, that redhead tattooed beefcake that she's been salivating over since freshmen year was looking right at her and Ino.

And oh, he's wearing a shirt that does everything it possibly can for his physique. It stretches enticingly across his chest, hiding away and hinting at the dozen tattoos decorating his torso, arms and shoulders. His muscles flex attractively with each breath he takes, reaching to Lee for the offered red cup.

Oh, heavens no.

Ino and Gaara make for a weird friendship but it's there. But maybe that's just Ino's weird talent of being friends with damn there anybody. When Ino claimed over text that she had just the thing to cheer Xin up, she was not expecting tall, dark and tattooed to be just the thing.

Oh God, Ino was dragging her to him.

Xin almost—almost—punches Ino in the back of the head to escape but of course she can't because Yoshiko chooses that exact moment to stick her dumbass nose into her business. "Oh, my, when you said you were here to meet someone. I didn't expect it to be Gaara. I thought you were here to pick Ino up or something. Tell me, does he know it's you that's supposed to be meeting him? He's probably disappointed."

She's going to hit Yoshiko; she's going to be arrested for assault and her fuckin' parents are going to have a field day bailing her out of jail. It's evident in her face and just as she takes a step towards the other woman, a heavy arm settles over her shoulders.

Tattooed fingers clutch lightly at a red solo cup, resting it against her chest. Rings decorate the inked skin and it's right then and there that Xin realizes she may or may not have a kink for hands. Tattooed hands with hard veins and rings and…

Gaara is looking down at her from the corner of his eye.

Someone help her.

Gaara taps the cup against her chest and she's suddenly aware that her own cup is gone from her hands. The taller redhead leans down towards her, mouth resting against her heated skin to mutter lowly into her ear, "it's Pepsi."

Gratefully she takes it. She mumbles a thanks, finding the fizzy drink freakishly interesting in a bid to avoid the gaze that she can just feel. Ino is conveniently gone, having fucked off to who knows where and leaving Xin trapped between two tall redheads.

What were the odds?

"Oh, Gaara," Yoshiko all but purrs, tipping forward on her toes in his direction. "I had no idea you were meeting Xin, of all people. Ino can be quite the trickster, can't she?" she muses with puckered lips. Her implications are self-explanatory, and Xin has to remind herself to count back from ten because violence is frowned upon. The fact that she was suggesting that any self-respecting person had to be tricked into dating her was enough to send her temper over the edge.

Gaara still has his eyes on her while she's counts back from ten. There's something in the curve of his mouth that suggests he's entirely too amused by her low mumbling.

"We could have some real fun, though."

Xin pauses in her counting to glance sharply at Yoshiko, lips twisting up in disgust. Jesus Fuck, first Masaru and now Gaara? Could Xin have anything to herself? Not that Gaara was even hers to begin with but Yoshiko didn't have to know that. In a bid to curve the urge of throwing her drink straight at Yoshiko, she guzzles half of it. Luckily, it's not even spiked, and the soda goes down smoothly.

Gaara finally looks away from Xin, all amusement melting away to give Yoshiko his unamused attention. "Who're you?"

Xin snorts into the cup, choking and gagging once more as she turns her face away and struggles to regain her composure. Ino and Gaara are co-conspirators, she thinks, because there's no way they both can get her to nearly choke to death over drinks without planning the shit.

Yoshiko is also taken aback but she has the good sense to simply gape up at him. Or, at directly at him because unlike Xin, she's actually damn there Gaara's height. Gaara clearly doesn't give two fucks about Yoshiko because he's pulling Xin away at that moment, not even offering a backwards glance. Harsh, she thinks, very harsh but hell if she can really care. Yoshiko is kind of a bitch.

The muggy air melts away into a cool breeze and Xin slowly realizes that Gaara led her back outside, the music loud enough to shake the walls they lean against. "Clubs aren't your thing, are they?" he asks with a sprinkle of amusement in those pretty eyes of his. She flounders for a moment, blushing heavily.

"What makes you say that?"

"You look like a confused baby deer."

That's fair, she thinks, because she's heard that before. She gets this wide-eyed look whenever faced with unfamiliar territory. Kind of like right now because Gaara is unfamiliar territory. When Ino insisted that she had just the thing, she didn't realize that thing would be sitting in an alleyway with Gaara, of all people. "Un," she blows a raspberry, childish, yes but she does it anyway. "You didn't have to...you know...un…" she stutters and suddenly she feels a lot like her shy sister. "She probably thinks we're dating or something now. Un...I may have told her that I was here to meet someone."

"Yeah?"

"Well, I had to," she's on the defensive. "My ex-boyfriend cheated on me with her and do you have any idea how it looks to show up at the same place alone? I can't let her think she's won!" she explains quickly, realizing how fuckin' dumb and superficial she sounds. Gaara is nodding sagely along to her words but she can't help thinking he thinks she's out of her mind. Who puts that much stock into what others think of them?

She does, dammit.

"There's a girl in there that's obsessed with me," he says completely out of nowhere. She squints up at him. "Maybe Matsuri'll think we're dating and finally leave me alone."

"You could just tell her to fuck off."

"So could you."

Okay, he's got her there.

"Well," she mutters with her cup to her mouth again. "You could do worse, I think," she huffs. And he could do worse than her. At least she's somewhat attractive, well, depending on whether or not she was his type. Okay, she totally wasn't his type, but she was still pretty, whether or not she's his type. She's a goddamn catch. Sort of.

"A lot worse," Gaara agrees and she's not sure if she's insulted or not.

She drums her fingers against the body of her cup. "Sounds like you only rescued me to use me."

"I'm sorry, why does that chick think we're dating?"

"That's fair."

There's a silence that hangs over them but Gaara looks completely at ease with her. She finds the ground rather interesting but that's only because there's a puddle of questionable liquid that's threatening to ruin her boots. They were expensive and she doubts her parents would buy her another pair if she tells them that she ruined them outside of some seedy ass club.

"They're not going to believe it after only seeing us together once."

Xin blinks out of her stupor, lips puckering as his works sink in. "….What?" she's slow to react, blinking hard.

"You want to show up your ex-boyfriend and his new girl and I want Matsuri off of my back. They're not going to believe it if we don't keep this up, you know," Gaara explains shortly, running a hand through his red hair. Xin vaguely wonders if it's natural or not and then mutely realizes that it doesn't have shit to do with anything.

"You want to…pretend to date? What is this, some K-Drama?"

"You watch K-Drama?"

"That's beside the point," she says quickly, not in the mood to defend watching K-Drama. That wasn't anyone's goddamn business and sometimes it made her feel better about her shitty dating life. "You actually want to fake date me?"

Gaara shrugged an apathetic shoulder, "I could do worse."

She gapes at that, a startled laugh coming from her mouth a second later. "Wow, you sure know how to woo a girl, don't ya?" her eyes roll. "What's up with this Matsuri girl? Did you date her before?"

"Absolutely not. She's had a crush on me since we were fifteen and she won't let up, no matter what I say. I think she has this mindset that I'll eventually just give in and just marry her or something. She just follows me around in hopes that something will just break my will."

"…That's called stalking."

"Yep."

"That's also kind of…gross that she just wants to wear you down until you give in and date her. No means no," her head twitches to the side and unruly hair falls into her face. "Sounds like a total creep."

"Yeah, girls can be creeps too, but we're not allowed to talk about that, I guess."

"No one's ready for that talk," she says around a grin.

Gaara's head bobs along to her words and she finds it entirely too cute. Seriously, she nearly coos at it but has to stop because this a former gangbanger she's dealing with and she can't be too sure but guys like that don't want to be called cute. Honestly, she'll call him whatever the hell he wants her to call him.

Boy is fiiiine.

Anyway….

"I mean, if we'd do this, how long would we have to keep it up?"

He rolls the question around his head, eyes looking up in thought. She was glad that everyone was inside and far too trashed to even realize what they're plotting outside. She realizes, of course, that this is not what her parents sent her to college for, to play games with random men met in shitty clubs. But Gaara leans his head back against the wall, baring his throat to her and she's enamored by the inked flesh and she wonders for a hot second what it would be like to mouth along the flesh of his throat.

"A month, maybe?" he suggests, Adam's apple bobbing attractively.

"You want to fake date me for a month or so?"

Again, he shrugs and smirks at her, "I could do worse."

"Stop saying that."

Gaara folds his arms across his chest, biceps straining against the short sleeves of his shirt. She has to wonder if he's doing all of this flexing on purpose but that couldn't be. The hell would he be gaining by trying to impress her? She's not even his type.

Xin skirts the puddle of questionable substance to get closer to him, smiling innocently. "Well, it's only right that we keep this up until we're both left alone, right? Just until Yoshiko and Masaru fucks off and your ex-girlfriend—"

"—Not my ex—"

"—Takes a hint."

She sticks her hand out to him to shake on it. She's the daughter of a ruthless businessman, she can't help it. "We can come up with the details later. Maybe tomorrow when we're not surrounded by drunken college students?" she proposes, unwilling to admit that she just wanted an excuse to immediately see him again

Gaara reaches for her outstretched hand and yanks her towards him, smirking devilishly when she stumbles into his chest. She has to crane her neck completely back to look him in the eye, cursing her small stature. "Whatever you want, babe."

Riiiight.

Queen of Disaster is what they'll call her.

Xin groans into the mattress. She made a deal with Gaara, of all people, to start a fake relationship to get Yoshiko and Matsuri off of their backs. What the hell had she been thinking? She'd only been one drink in at that point, half a drink actually, it was far too soon to make awful decisions that would bite her in the ass later. She couldn't tell Karin about her dumbass plotting. Their relationship had to be legit and Karin couldn't keep her goddamn mouth shut for shit. Everyone had to believe that they were dating in order for them to pull this shit off without a hitch.

'Where are you even at?'

Xin picks her head up and stares blankly down at the message. What the hell kind of question was that? She was in her bed, back in her apartment—

This was not her bed.

She sits up fast and instantly regrets it when the room begins a sadistic and impromptu session of Ring Around the Rosie. Hell, she thinks she might be sick but manages to hold her insides together. She snatches up her phone and exits out of the messaging app, opting for her social media app instead. She's got too many notifications at once, but she clicks the first one, one that tags her and another user that she isn't currently following.

A picture of club Xin and Gaara, posted by Ino, greets her. Gaara is lounging on some stained ratty couch with Xin perched comfortably on his lap with one arm wrapped around her waist. She's smiling brightly, hands raised because she has a tendency to talk with her hands. He has a beer in his other hand, resting it against her thigh and seemingly listening to whatever the hell she was going on about.

'New couple alert!' the caption underneath claims with what looked to be two thousand damn likes and eighty-nine comments. For a moment, she almost clicks on the comments but decides not to.

There's a video of her taking shots with a bunch of people she doesn't know save for Ino and Lee, one of her dancing with Ino and another picture of her leaning into Gaara with a self-assured smile pulling at her lips.

Drunk Xin was a fuckin' menace.

There's one last video of Gaara having a rather casual conversation outside of the bar with Ino. The only odd thing about that is that Xin is thrown over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Her face is visibly red, but she seems to be laughing instead of cursing him out. Oh, God. Definitely not what her parents sent her to college for. Neji, her overprotective ass older cousin, was going to have a fuckin' conniption when he caught wind of this new development. Maybe he hadn't been on social media all day and was unaware of the fact.

With another groan, Xin swings her legs out and plants her feet on the floor and instantly realizes that she was swamped in an oversized t-shirt and not her outfit from last night. Panic settles in immediately and she wonders what the hell had she done?

The door chooses that moment to open and in comes Gaara, her apparent partner in crime and fellow idiot who makes bad choices. He's dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a white tank top and she's ashamed to say she's distracted by all of his tattoos. Apparently, she really has a thing for tattoos, who knew?

"Did you undress me?" she asks first, standing up way too soon.

Gaara snorts and steps into the room, closing the door behind him. "I put the shirt on you first and then undressed you. I didn't see anything if that's what has you so bent out of shape," he steps closer with an offered water bottle and pain killers. "Here, you kind of went overboard with the drinking last night."

She's not sure how to feel but he hadn't violated her, technically. Besides, she couldn't sleep in tight ass jeans and a tube top. It was more likely that her tit would pop out and then he'd actually see something. "Thanks," she mumbles with a flushed face. She pops the pills and sucks the water down greedily, draining the bottle quickly. "Sorry, I don't think you're a creep or anything but I woke up and…this is not my place."

"Ino dipped out before I could ask her where you lived so I figure I'd just bring you back to mine and let you crash here for the night."

"Right…uh, I'm sorry. I don't drink a lot.."

"Yeah, figured that out."

"Did I do something that I'll regret?"

Gaara bends to pick up the makeshift bed on the floor. She feels guilty the minute she realizes he slept on the floor for the night. "You met Matsuri," he says while dropping the load on the bed, uncaring if it makes an even bigger mess. It makes her scowl, she hates mess, and she proceeds to make his bed without him asking her to. "Told her to fuck off, had me laughing for a good five minutes."

"God, now she'll be after me."

"Maybe."

He watches as she expertly makes his bed, tucking in his blankets so freakishly tight that he's not sure he'll be able to untuck it later. "So," she avoids looking at him by smacking the pillow violently in lieu of fluffing it. "Our…deal. Does it still stand?" she presses quietly, hands coming to a pause to give his poor pillow some relief.

"Why? You backin' out, Hyuga?"

Xin turns at his teasing, pillow hugged to her chest. She looks thoughtful, rightfully so while she mumbles something to herself. She's not counting back from ten this time, so he knows she isn't angry again. The mumbles come to a pause and she finally looks up at him, smiling so prettily that it nearly takes his breath away.

"I'm still in."

She's definitely Queen of Disaster.

TeeBeMe: Yeah, okay, so I was editing chapter 39 for Shades of Cool and the shit decided to glitch out and I lost everything. So you know, I curled up into a ball and cried for a good couple of minutes. I wrote this instead to try to cheer myself up. A modern retelling of Shades of Cool if you squint and tilt your head to the side. Like we always say, two dumbasses in love, gotta love it. Don't worry, I'm reworking 39 as we speak so it should be up soon. Enjoy this for now.