Humanity's Strongest Woman

by xDollfie

In every empire, there is an epic era that defies the boundaries of time and immortalized itself in the history books. For mankind, an epic era they will never forget has finally emerged. The war between humanity and Titans has finally come to a head. Love cease to exist in a time like this, but they found it, and promised that it'll be worth it. Every stubborn inch of it [LEVIXOC]

46. Of Children

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Humanity's Strongest Woman by xDollfie

Chapter 42 — Of Children

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Year 844, Starke Estate.

As the darkness rushed up to meet her and Ida lost consciousness, she found the darkness dispersing into the light. Her feet landed somewhere. She whirled around, disorientated to see herself somewhere else.

What the hell? I fainted, didn't I? Is this another vision?

She slapped a hand to her forehead, realizing she was back in Jaron's office. Ida could scarcely tell which reality was real, and which one was imaginary. It was like when someone is physically in one place but is imagining themselves being somewhere else—only that this was too vivid to be just her imagination.

She stiffened when sounds roused her from her daze.

"Jaron...?"

Her uncle was on his desk writing something, his expression was grim. Ida studied him to get an estimation of the timeline she was in. Jaron was older, not like the memory when he killed the Ackermans when he was just a teenager.

So… this is a rather recent memory...

She tilted her head critically to read what Jaron was writing. Unfortunately, it was just business work.

Yeah, that looks about right. Jaron was always obsessed with his wealth and prestige…

Her lips curled.

Even about family...

"Why?" Ida couldn't help but ask. "All this time you have been talking about our bloodline, our destiny, about your plans to save us all… but is that really what you're after? You've killed thousands, even sacrificed your own family members…"

As she had expected, Jaron didn't reply.

"Tell me, uncle, was it worth it?"

Ida sighed when she was met with another silent response. Strange. Something had definitely changed. Now whenever the visions came to her, all she felt was a jolt of electricity. Gone were the intense headaches that came with the memories.

Ida had thought it was perhaps a fluke, but this was the third vision she had since she arrived at Shiganshina.

No, something had definitely changed...

But why?

Her visions had changed as well. They were no longer the flickering images or snippets of memory shards. Now, they were more pronounced, more vivid, and longer. As if... she was literally and figuratively transported in the memory.

Truth to God, she didn't have the mental capacity to go through another revelation, but Ida also recognized this was an opportunity—a rare opportunity she couldn't afford to pass up. There were still so many question marks to be answered.

Before she could contemplate on it further, a knock on the door relished her focus.

"Sire," Anders entered the room. "Lady Layla has finally given birth."

"And?"

"Because of the difficult labor, you said to prioritize the child above hers."

The line of Jaron's mouth hardened. "And?"

"She has unfortunately passed away."

Ida frowned, not really understanding the contents of the conversation. Then it came to her. From the reports on the Starke family that the Corps procured, Jaron had married and had a child. It was information she wasn't privy to when she was younger, information that her mother had kept from her while she lived at Shiganshina in blissful ignorance.

The report finally arrested Jaron's attention and he stopped writing, but he didn't look perturbed at the death of his wife.

"The child? Twins?"

Disgust surged through Ida. She scoffed disbelievingly.

That was his first question?

Right. What was she expecting? Jaron did not care about his dead wife—she was merely a tool meant to produce an heir, nor did he care about anyone else. Not his wife, not his sister, not her… and not even his own son, Jeremy Starke, who he turned into a Titan and kept locked up in the dungeons.

"Not twins," Anders provided. "A single child. Male. Red hair and green eyes."

Jaron flared his nostrils. He didn't appear pleased with the news. He was silent for a long moment before he hissed, "The Gods really do love their cruel jokes. To grant my sister twins and me a single child."

Ida raised a brow at that paramount reaction. She tried to ignore the stinging slap to her face when Jaron confirmed her assumptions that he was behind Ivy being in the enemy's hands, but she couldn't help but think about it.

Everything. Everything was his doing.

"Sire, he is still of your blood."

Jaron leaned back to his chair and intertwined his fingers together. "That isn't good enough."

"There is still time, you can remarry again."

At long last, a sliver of emotion entered Jaron's eyes. "Damn it. There is no time, Anders. Things are progressing too slowly. Soon, the world's wrath will come for us. What then?"

Confusion crossed Ida's face when she took notice of the term Jaron used. World's wrath?

As though dreading the repercussions, Jaron got off the chair and went for the wine. Anders's worried gaze never left him.

"The greatest of the Starkes always comes in pairs. It's the very basis of our power." Melancholy embalmed him as Jaron carefully swirled his glass. "It seems … I made a mistake when I shipped my sister's other brat to Marley."

"You didn't know about the curse then," Anders said. "You shouldn't blame yourself."

Jaron grimaced. "It was a stupid move on my part nevertheless."

"You're still young, and there's also Lady Ida."

"Ah yes, my niece," Jaron chuckled mirthlessly. "I've forgotten about that little brat, but we'll only know in a few years' time. Though she's a twin, based on my foolish mistakes, perhaps... she might turn out to be just as useless as my son, no?"

Basis of our power? Ida's brows bunched together, strengthening the bewilderment on her face. What is he talking about? Why were twins more prioritized than a single child? Is this the same curse my grandfather talked about?

Her heart started palpitating furiously when Ida arrived at a horrible assumption. Was… Jeremy sacrificed because he wasn't able to awaken?

Unable to fight the plethora of dread flying at her, Ida touched her abdomen protectively. Her questions were left unanswered when the topic carried elsewhere.

"Then, the child?"

Jaron sighed. "As you said, he's still a Starke—my blood. He will have his uses in the future."

"Then I will see that he is properly attended to."

A strained silence, heavy with tension descended on both men. Ida felt as though she could hardly breathe as she watched Jaron with anticipation, dreading what he was going to say next that would throw her into another whirlwind.

"There are so few Starkes left," Jaron murmured, contemplative eyes gazing out of his full-length windows onto the sprawling fields of the estate. "We will need every single Starke we have for the wars to come." His green eyes thinned as his voice dipped lower, "In order to save our race... as long as the Starke bloodline lives, there has to be a way…"

Ida had hoped that Jaron would elaborate—that he would explain what his grand plans were, why he so hung up over the family name that it was worth sacrificing his family.

His sister, Elsie. Her twin, Ivy. His own son, Jeremy.

And even her...

For a man that always spoke about family, about fucking destiny, about how they carried the same name, and how only they could understand each other, Jaron was single-handedly responsible for every single misery that befell them. He had no love nor affection for his blood.

"I had hoped that another set of twins would be born," Jaron sighed, voice edged with resentment. "But it seems that Odina didn't grant my wish."

Odina?

Ida's eyes went wide, stunned that Jaron knew about her too.

Her heart gasped when she realized something disturbingly huge. The Walls. Why didn't she see it earlier? Jaron Starke was an awakened one, just like her—why didn't she consider the possibility that he had seen her memories too? Met her even?

Then whatever plans he had… all the knowledge he gained, could it be because Jaron had learned something from the visions?

Ander merely stared somberly at Jaron, before something occurred to him. "Ah, yes. Before I forget, about the Ackermans—"

The abrupt change in Jaron's mood caused Ida to flinch.

"What about those hateful dog-like bastards?" he snarled, slamming his glass to the table so violently, it caused some of the liquid to sloshed out of it and onto the table.

"Reports from the military states that the Survey Corps had just recruited a new member. It was said he was insanely talented on his first expedition."

"Remind me why I should waste my valuable time on an insignificant scout?"

"His name is Levi Ackerman."

Ida became paralyzed when she heard that name. Chills after chills formed onto the surface of her skin. She stared uncomprehendingly at her uncle and his butler, unable to close her mouth.

Don't tell me...

Jaron's eyes expanded, momentarily shocked, before it morphed back to a glare. "Then what are you waiting for? Instructions? You know what to do. Assassinate him with poison and be done with it."

Ida covered her agape mouth, terror streaming through every nerve in her body.

"Kenny said that he is no Ackerman," Anders said. "He claims that he is just a child that he had picked up in the Underground City that took on his name."

Jaron laughed, incredulous. "Kenny? Does the jesting fool think that we are idiots?"

"Seth, who you planted on Kenny's side, claims that Freida isn't a fool either. However, it's obvious that the Queen is adamant about keeping King Uri's promise with Kenny. The Royal family does not intend to prosecute the remaining Ackermans any longer."

By the time Ander finished speaking, Jaron was gripping the edges of his desk so hard his knuckles whitened. His dark expression spoke volumes of the uncontrollable hate swirling within him.

"What's your point?" Jaron scowled, barely holding his composure. "I am aware of that. Isn't this why I have to resort to prosecuting them in secret ever since that damn jester Kenny groveled his way up to the breeches of the Uri Reiss?"

"Queen Freida explicitly stated in the council meeting today that Levi Ackerman should not be touched and left to his own devices."

"Hah!" Jaron scoffed, his face red with rage. Snatching an inkpot from his desk, he flung it to the floor in a fit of unadulterated anger. "That fucking bitch!"

Anders didn't even flinch when the inkpot collided with the floor with a loud crash. Instead, he continued to advise Jaron in a calm and providential manner.

"Sire, it's unwise to kill him, lest you expose yourself to the Royal Family. You've been so careful up till now. Levi Ackerman's sudden death would not go unnoticed. They might even suspect you."

Bitterness coursed through Ida. Her tormented eyes narrowed at this influx of information.

This was the reason why…

She smirked to herself. It had always been digging at the back of her mind: the reason why Levi was able to survive all those years despite Jaron's active prosecution of the Ackermans.

And now, she knew.

The Royal Family was the only reason why Jaron bated his time and never came for him.

But during the uprising, Jaron found the perfect opportunity to openly remove the remaining Ackermans he could not touch. He found the opportunity through the Survey Corps' rebelling against the government, and he found the opportunity through her.

Ida grimaced when she came to a damning conclusion that left a sour taste in her mouth.

That bastard tried to use her against Levi and Mikasa… and like a fool, she let him.

The Ackermans were never a threat to humanity. Ida glared at Jaron, strategically categorizing all the knowledge she had gained. But a threat to the Starkes.

"Sire," Ander pleaded softly. Even though his voice was barely above a whisper, there was no denying the steel behind it. He did not want Jaron to place himself in danger.

Jaron closed his eyes to temper his anger. "Fine," he said begrudgingly, waving his hand. "Let that one live for now. I have one Ackerman prancing about me every now and then, what's another?"

"He might die during an expedition."

"If only, Anders. If only it was that easy. But to our dismay, an awakened one of that damned family is in a league of their own," Jaron growled, his features taut. "In terms of combat… I'd say only an awakened Starke can dare to challenge them."

Grabbing his glass again, Jaron sank back in his cushioned chair. He stared at the half-empty glass in his hand, his green eyes growing darker. Ida could see the diabolical cogs in his mind actively churning for a plan.

Jaron held out his glass. "Do we know who his host is?"

Anders took the pitcher of wine and refilled Jaron's cup. "Not yet. I'm working on it. Perhaps he doesn't have one?"

"Their powers are created and designed to protect, they'll find some fool to imprint on sooner or later." Jaron tapped his finger on his desk before his fingers bunched together. "Funny, isn't it? True dogs they are; faithful and loyal to whatever orders the host gives… far inferior beings compared to us, and yet..."

He drifted off into a contemplative silence. Ida bit her lip, unable to shake off the strange feeling brewing within her.

Why was Jaron talking as if… they were truly created beings…?

"Keep an eye on that one."

Anders nodded. "I understand. But…"

"But what?" Jaron snapped. "Out with it."

"Every single Ackerman who possessed knowledge has been killed, the remnants of the purge should be those unaware of their true history. Perhaps it might be wiser to let the remaining ones live."

Jaron snorted a strangled laugh. "You don't understand, Anders. Those dog-like bastards… they're a mistake, they should've never been created. I'm only doing what my family should've done long ago."

Created, Ida zeroed in on that word. She didn't know why but the hairs on the back of her neck stood up.

Ida remembered Historia had also said that Rod claimed that the Ackermans was created to serve the Royal family. She prayed that Jaron would continue talking about the Ackermans, but instead, her uncle suddenly held onto his head.

"Argh."

"Sire?!" Anders rushed to his side, supporting him upright. "Lady Elsie would be arriving from Shiganshina soon, you shouldn't—"

"Silence."

Anders's expression was filled with pity as he patiently waited. Slowly, as though to compose himself, Jaron straightened his back and breathed in deeply.

Ida couldn't help but gasp when she took notice of something.

Yellow streaks?

Again, those vivid yellow streaks had suddenly adorned themselves in her uncle's green irises. Ida was mystified. This was a too common occurrence to pass up as mere coincidence. She was just about to walk closer to him to observe them when suddenly her surroundings started to collide and swirled together. Her heart gasped when she realized the vision was coming to an end.

"No, no, no," Ida whispered harshly. "Not yet… please..."

She didn't even know when she would get her next vision. She couldn't return to reality now. For the life growing within her, Ida stubbornly wanted to know why there was a need for Starke children—she wanted to know their relations to the Ackermans.

Ida ran in front of Jaron as the roar of desperation clamored in her.

"Tell me! What about our powers?! What about the Ackermans?! Why are you doing this?! Answer me!"

It was a futile attempt. Through her blurring vision, Ida struggled to focus. It could've been that she had seen wrongly, but she was certain that that was a smirk on Jaron's face when he played with his crest ring.

"Answer me, Jaron!"

Just before darkness took over and overtook her entire world, Ida heard the voice of her uncle resonating around her.

"My my… it seems that Odina has not forsaken me yet…"

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

When Ida opened her eyes again, she saw the skies of blue and realized she was lying down on something soft. Gentle sunlight passed through the canopy that was the unkempt locks of Hanji who hovered over her. The Commander was staring down at her, slack-jawed, inches away from her face.

She felt her clammy hands on hers. "Ida? You awake?"

Her body took another shuddering, labored breath, before deflating. "Hanji…?"

She winced and tried to adjust herself, to check she could at least still feel each of her limbs properly through the constant ache of her muscles. Thank God she could.

Eh?

Ida frowned when she saw her wounds were already bandaged.

Memories leaked into her unguarded mind when the detrimental fatigue started to lose its compartmental effects. Ida groaned when Hanji assisted her to a sitting position. "The baby?"

Hanji regarded her with an uneasy smile. "You're doing good, but we can't say for sure until we go back to the walls and get you properly assessed by a doctor. So, I need you to be careful from now on, okay?"

"Did you…?"

The Commander was silent for a moment before she shrugged. "No. I didn't think that it was wise to tell anyone given our current situation."

Ida privately agreed with her—the last thing they needed right now was to tend to a pregnant woman on the battlefield. Now upright, she took a long second to survey her surroundings. They were on top of the Wall with the rest of what remains of the legion.

Hanji handed her a bottle of water, which she took gratefully. "Thanks."

"Uhm, Ida. Your eyes… is that normal?"

She wiped her lips, confused. Levi had mentioned her eyes before. Ida glanced at her reflection in the metal bottle. She touched her cheek as her brows bunched together in bewilderment.

Vivid yellow streaks adorned her green irises. They were the same as what she had seen in Jaron's eyes. Ida quickly placed two and two together.

"I had a vision," Ida said quietly, placing the bottle down. "Looks like these marks appear only when I use my powers."

Hanji's single amber eye darkened. "I see..."

"I learned quite a bit from my visions. It might interest you and get your four-eyed freakiness on a high."

Hanji's face was gaunt as she busied herself with something by the side. "Ah well, maybe I had enough revelations for today. What your mother had written… was pretty mind-blowing even for me."

Ida's eyes darted to the notebook that Hanji was holding. "Yeah?"

Her expression must have been a little too miserable for her liking because the next thing she knew, Hanji's hand came to rest on top of hers and she gave it a good squeeze. "You don't have to read it now, you can even tell us everything later. Just rest, you've been through a lot."

Ida averted her gaze, suddenly uncomfortable with the way her cold palm chilled on her burning skin.

She endeavored to change the topic. "Have we been to the basement yet?"

"Not yet. Levi went to scout the area for Reiner and the rest ahead of us. We were just about to leave since Armin has already woken up, we're just waiting for Levi to come back."

The mention of the boy who was now the Colossal Titan caused an unwarranted sharp twinge in her chest. Misery blazed her eyes when she faced forward to where Armin was. He had his hands buried to his face. Eren and Mikasa sat silently beside him. Their expressions were all torn and broken.

Hanji followed her gaze curiously. "He has been like that since he woke up..."

Ida nodded, trying hard to swallow the lump in her throat. "Hm."

"He knows everything. Levi made Eren tell him."

When she went quiet, Hanji smiled placatingly and tried to get her to lie down again. "Don't think about it, just rest."

She stared at her for a moment. Then Ida gripped her shoulders with a grimace, firmly but not unkindly moving her aside as she shoved herself upright again. "No, I'm fine. We have to hurry. There's no time to waste."

Her words were proven true when they suddenly heard the familiar whoosh of gears. They jerked their heads up to see a figure hurling its way to the top of Walls. Levi didn't notice them, his eyes were narrowed right ahead, raven hair waving in the wind.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

"I killed Bertholdt," steals the silence from the sleeping world. The words were his own, but Armin couldn't quite bring himself to assign a connection between them and his own voice. "I…"

I killed Bertholdt and Commander Erwin. Armin couldn't bring himself to say it out loud. The ache in his heart intensified.

Oh, I…

His face was still buried in his hands when the painful reality shot through him again. He knew Mikasa and Eren were staring at him. The guilt in the air was palpable, and it was unbearable because it was everything that embodied hell.

Nobody was asking the obvious question.

What now?

How was the Survey Corps going to function without Erwin Smith?

Why did Levi change his mind in the end? How did it come to this? How could it come to this?

It was the sounds of the rush of gas from gears that stopped the churning in his congested mind. Armin peeled his hands from his face and looked up to see Levi. He hadn't seen his Captain since he made Eren confess everything that happened after he had woken up.

Why did he—

Armin froze over when he noticed Hanji and Ida walking over to Levi. Dread pooled in his chest and he found himself wanting to run away.

From afar, he watched Ida exchanged a few words with Levi, before suddenly…

She turned to face him.

Nothing but guilt boiled in Armin when their eyes met. He wanted to immediately run to her and apologize, to confess that he hadn't meant for it to happen, that he would do anything to change back time… but he only remained paralyzed, unable to even mutter a word.

It was Ida who first broke the eye-contact when she jerked her head and exchanged words with Levi. In return, the Captain scowled, but he only nodded. Their conversation ended when Ida parted ways with them.

Is she…?

Fear thundered into him when Armin realized that Ida was walking towards them—to him.

No. How could he face her?

How could he after what he had done?

Armin knew Eren and Mikasa had also noticed that Ida was approaching because they suddenly held their heads down, unable to look directly ahead. By the time Ida reached them, they were all holding their breaths.

"Hey, how are you guys feeling?"

It was a casual question that normally wouldn't elicit such an adverse reaction, but they flinched simultaneously. Armin stared at his palms. He couldn't bring himself to look at Ida. And he never could again.

"We're leaving for the basement. Mikasa and Eren, you're coming with us."

Silence.

Complete silence followed Ida's words.

They stewed on the quietness for a few more moments until Armin heard Ida exhaled loudly. From his side view, he saw her take a bottle from the side where all their rations were. Her gears clunked against the wall with a grating sound when she sat beside them.

They sat in a heavy suffocating silence as Ida drank a few gulps of water to take the edge off. She was perfectly content in waiting for them to acknowledge her presence. Armin dipped his head lower. The seconds passed, the tension building up in layers that he knew would inevitably have to be torn away.

Courage wasn't his greatest strength, but Armin knew had to say something—anything—

"I'm sorry," the words finally left him. "I'm sorry…"

"Ida-san…" Eren murmured after him in a broken voice. "I…"

Mikasa remained deadly silent, but shame weighed her shoulders down.

He heard Ida settle her bottle down. "Why are you guys apologizing?"

Armin's eyes snapped up to look at her, surprised. What? It was obvious why they were apologizing.

Ida simply stared at them. Then, she smiled, probably attempting to ease the tension, but she couldn't hide the sadness in her voice. "If it was about what happened, you two should apologize to Levi, not me... especially you, Mikasa." She shrugged. "Though, I'd say I wasn't a good example either."

Mikasa's fingers fumbled around her cloak. "It's not that…"

Gone was Ida's smile, thawing from her face and all that was left was just fatigue. "Damn it. Alright, alright. I know…. I know what you guys are sorry about. But honestly? I don't want to hear any apologies from any of you."

"Huh?" Armin said, flustered. "No…! This isn't right, I—"

He flinched when he felt her gaze land on him, effectively silencing him.

"You shouldn't apologize, none of you should." Ida's eyes flicked back to Eren and Mikasa. "What is done is done, we have to move on."

Eren looked away. "But… because of us… the Commander…"

A small laugh escaped Ida, it sounded almost miserable. "Well, you're wrong about that, Eren. You clearly don't know Levi if you think that it's because of the both of you that he decided to choose Armin. It was because of," she paused to utilize the right word, "other reasons…"

As though it wasn't a big deal, Ida shrugged nonchalantly and continued, "Anyways I don't blame any of you for what happened, so there's no need for apologies alright?"

Armin fisted the blanket on his lap. "Ida-san… I—"

A loud sigh from Ida stopped him from saying anything more. "Armin, look at me."

Hesitantly, he obliged.

They stared at each other for a few passing breaths. A lump of unknown emotion clogged his throat. Armin felt his lips part, but the words never escaped him. Ida seemed to understand what he wanted to say though because her green eyes grew softer.

"You shouldn't blame yourself," she muttered diplomatically. "It wasn't your fault or anyone's. I'm saying this not as your superior, but as Erwin's daughter. My father made a decision to trust Levi's decision with who to give the serum to… and Levi picked you… that's all there is to it."

Armin felt hot tears sting his eyes. Contrary to her words that were spoken with such conviction, Ida's physical image was a terrible match to it. The strong superior he had always known looked so haggard and broken now. He had never seen her in such a state.

That's all there was to it? Lies. Her father died because of him. Ida should've hated him. It would've been a welcome relief even. Her anger would be warranted, maybe even well deserved. But even now, Armin could tell that her words were genuine. There was no malice in it. Despite her glassy red eyes, the sincerity shone through strongly.

It made him feel even worse and Armin ached for the tearful relief.

"I'm sorry…" Armin croaked. "I'm so sorry… It shouldn't have been me… It shouldn't have… Commander Erwin was the more obvious choice for humanity… It shouldn't have been me… I know nothing I say matters right now… but..."

Mikasa's features twisted in agony. "Armin don't say that about yourself."

He tried to wipe away the tears, but the more he did, the more they fought for visibility. "I'm so sorry…."

While he finally set free the guilt that was eating him from within, Ida studied him quietly with an aching expression. There was so much pain and frustration in her stare alone. It was perforating through him. She probably thought it was revolting to watch, but Armin couldn't help it.

"I'm sorry too..." Mikasa said softly, not looking at Ida directly. "It's my fault too… don't blame Armin."

Eren's apology followed shortly after. "I'm sorry…"

"Stop it," Ida breathed, almost painfully. "I told you, I don't want to hear any apologies from any of you."

"You don't have to pretend," Eren said quietly. "I won't say anything if you take it out on me. But it wasn't Armin's fault, it was because of my willful act that—"

"Eren."

From the sharpness of her tone, they knew Ida was starting to get impatient. They lapsed into a heavy silence after that. For a while, all that could be heard was the soft sniffles that came from Armin.

Then, he heard Ida sigh again. "Listen..."

Armin lifted his eyes off the ground and peered at her, never more anxious in what she had to say.

"Armin is now the Colossal Titan, we can't change that now." Ida migrated her eyes directly at him, her gaze not unkind. "I don't want to put this burden on you, but along with this power, you must carry the burden of Erwin's life as well. Don't disappoint the expectation that everyone has placed on you. If you really want to apologize, then make it worthwhile. That's the best way for everyone."

He knew that she had forced the words out. Armin could detect the subtle pain dwelling within her statement. Inhaling another deep breath, Ida didn't wait for a reply before she set her jaw and got back to her feet. She lingered for a few more moments. It looked like she wanted to say something, but instead, she outstretched her hand.

Armin instinctively flinched and shut his eyes. But to his surprise, her warm hand rested on top of his head.

He looked upwards, stunned. Ida had a small smile on her face that made his stomach twist agonizingly. She swallowed again. Armin knew that she was trying to stabilize her voice so that she wouldn't make him feel even worse than he already did.

"I won't blame children for what happened, you guys are my family too," she said with as much heartfelt sincerity she could inject in her tone. "So, I don't want to see you like this, okay? That's an order."

She ruffled the crown of his hair once and looked at Mikasa and Eren with a small smile.

"Our hearts are only capable of caring for so much. We all have people that we would prioritize over others, right? Don't worry about it. I understand."

Ida retracted her hand back and walked away. Shoulders squared, stance taut and stiff, the sounds of her gears clanking together noisily following after her made her look like the formidable duty-bound soldier she was famed as.

But this time, it was only Eren who heard her.

"It's just… really sad that the people I prioritize the most never seem to be the ones to make it out alive."

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

Her fingers loosened the mechanism around her empty gas canister. Her green eyes were blank, tearless, yet a visceral haze had clouded her vision, as hot as her suppressed rage and overflowing emotions.

Ten. Only ten people survived the battle.

Ida began replacing her empty gas canister with a full one. As she did this, her mind wandered to different days; days where she would bring Elsie wildflowers she picked, and they would play in their little cobblestone yard. The grass had grown in patches around the smooth stones. She had liked to walk barefoot back then.

Days when she would silently walk behind her father in the headquarters. Erwin was so much taller than her, she always had to tilt her head upwards to look at him. Golden was his hair and his deep blue eyes that were like a pure lake.

Ida screwed her eyes together, blooms of red erupted behind her lids from the pressure. Her other senses tormented her in lieu of her vision.

Armin Arlert.

In place of Erwin, he was now the Colossal Titan.

But he wasn't to blame for this tragedy, neither were Eren, Mikasa, or even Levi.

No one was to blame for this.

It had taken Ida every ounce of her self-control to walk to them. The guilt that streamed from them was so pungent, and though it vexed her in some ways, it also served as a reminder of what she had to do and of who these people were.

Her squad. Her family. Her comrades.

Children who were playing soldiers, really.

Whether Ida liked it or not, she knew she was the only one that could free them from the guilt that would surely stew within them like an abscess. She wasn't just Erwin's daughter, she reminded herself, but she was also a duty-bound soldier. Moral and comradery were important.

After all, nothing can bring Erwin back now. There was no use crying over the dead. When it all boils down, all that left to do with her duty. She had to keep moving towards the future. One agonizing step at a time.

"I thought we agreed that you'll stay here with Armin and the rest."

She finished securing her gas tanks and saw Hanji approaching her. "We did. But I decided I didn't want to."

"Look. I know I said that you're doing fine, but even so, I don't think you should go."

She narrowed her eyes at her, quickly making up her mind. "I'm not sitting around at this shitty place… like some sort of invalid."

Through a single hazel eye, Hanji stared at her seriously before she sighed, seemingly giving up on convincing her otherwise. She shook her head, but she didn't say a single word. Which was damn well odd for her, but Ida assumed she was frustrated as it already is.

"Anything useful from my mother's notebook?"

A dark storm passed over Hanji's expression with her question. She rubbed her neck. "Hm. About that… if what Elsie wrote in it is true then I think I have a good grasp of what's in Grisha Yeager's basement. At least, what I think it is."

"Let me guess, the world outside exists?"

The Commander took a long time to reply, but she eventually did.

"Yes."

Ida grimaced. It was the most subdued she had ever heard from Hanji when it came to the TItans or the world beyond. And she knew it meant only one thing.

More shit for them to clean up. More battles to fight. More wars to come. Whatever that was written there wasn't a solution they sought after.

"Great," Ida deadpanned. "Whatever it is in that basement, we can cross-infer the contents to check its viability."

Hanji lifted a thin brow, clearly perturbed at her apparently calm behavior. "You don't want to know what's written inside?"

Ida was about to reply that even if she wanted to, she didn't have the mental strength nor the capability to even process anything when—

"Tch." Levi glared at the handgrips in her hand. "You're staying here."

She didn't look at him when she replied with renewed stubbornness, "I'm going there even if I have to crawl there. If I pass out, carry me there or whatever, I don't give a fuck. I'm coming with you because you need me there."

"No, we don't," he argued. "Those shits aren't around anymore. We'll be back quickly—"

"I had a vision."

Levi's eyes blossomed, and he appeared momentarily confused. "What?"

She faced him now. "Ever since I came to Shiganshina, I already had three. It looks like this city itself is what's triggering the Will of Odina—my powers to work."

All traces of fatigue were gone from Hanji's face, replaced by intrigue and hardened seriousness. Unlike Levi, she understood what she was trying to say immediately. "You're saying that another vision might come to you if you go to the basement?"

"Yes. And we need information right?"

She smirked when she saw Hanji exchanging a glance with Levi.

"Then I have to go there for humanity. I might just be shitting myself, but we can't pass this theory up."

"Fine, then." Levi folded his arms. "But what did you see earlier? Explain."

Ida didn't reply immediately. Instead, her eyes trailed to the horizon, to the location of her devastated home. Smoke was still billowing into the sky from the aftermaths of the battle.

And for a terrifying moment, Ida imagined what it would be like to lay dead like her father at her home. Peaceful and free. So tired she was, so much did she want to give up.

Secrets.

And more secrets.

Like building blocks, every secret she uncovered was quickly steering her fate in another direction. Her life was slowly going astray and if Ida was being honest, she was frightened of the endless possibilities and implications. Dread clutched her lungs when she unwillingly internalized all that she had learned.

What would happen when everything was laid out bare?

What would happen when there were no more secrets?

What would happen when… they finally learned the truth of the world?

An unwarranted chill ran down her spine. Ida felt as if someone was whispering to her ear, telling her not to go to the basement, that if she just ran away from everything right now, that if she ignored everything she had learned, everything would remain the same.

But Ida knew she couldn't do that, she couldn't run away from the truth. Not any longer. Not when she came this far. Because no matter how much she dreaded going to the basement, she didn't have a choice.

"Ida?"

She noticed they were all staring at her waist. It dawned on her that her hand had found its way to her gear, fingers clenched around the handle tightly, taught with angry tension.

Ida slackened her grip quickly.

If I look back, I am lost.

Decision set, she quickly explained everything she had learned to them.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

Her comrades were silent when they made their way to the basement. They were silent most of the time, ever since the battle had ended and Erwin had died. Though they had tried to put aside the tension from the aftermath of the entire incident with the serum to focus on more important matters, it was still palpable in the mood.

Ida could tell that she was the center point of the concerns. She tried to brush it off as best as she could, but it still annoyed her nevertheless how everyone was incredibly careful around her.

Seated on a large piece of rubble, Ida watched Levi order Eren and Mikasa to fetch a fallen beam. Her thighs and arms ached. Emotional and physical pain collided together in a deadly mixture to poison her mind and seep into every corner of her being.

"You good?"

"Stop fussing. You tended to my wounds, so you know it's nothing big," Ida said evenly. "I'll survive."

Hanji pressed her back to the wall beside her. "It's just the both of us around now. They can't hear us."

Ida understood what she was referring to. All throughout the final fight with her sister, she could feel it, but now, she could no longer feel the comforting beat inside her stomach. It was all that she thought about as she fought, all that she cared about. Maybe, she was just imagining the heartbeat all along.

Or maybe…

"Any abdominal pains?"

"None," Ida maintained her even voice, refusing to think otherwise. She refused to think of yet another loss she might have to endure. "No pain whatsoever, I feel perfectly fine."

She looked visibly relieved. "That's good."

"What about you? You okay?"

"Fine, actually. The painkillers helped."

Ida observed the bandages that covered her right eye. "How bad is it?"

"Mhm," Hanji shrugged. "Looks like I'll never be able to see from my right eye again. But hey, what's a Survey Corps Commander if they didn't have a few deformities right?"

Ida noticed that she was not only speaking in a very clipped manner but despite her smile, there was also a dark veil on her face that refused to disappear throughout the conversation. It was obvious what she was thinking about.

"On the bright side, you'll get to order me and Levi around now, Commander."

"Commander, huh?" Hanji laughed. "Never thought of the day I'll become Commander… haha, I bet even you felt the same way… even Levi probably did... but…"

She trailed off and made no effort to pick back up the conversation. Her head dipped lower. Ida realized the reasons for her hesitation. Naturally, Hanji would've thought she would've blamed Levi. She didn't want to add more salt to the wound.

Ida smirked wryly. Count it on her own shitty fate to come up with something so moronic and absurd to screw up her life again.

"Would you have done it...?" Ida found herself asking, voice frayed and soft. "If the serum was in your hands then, would you have chosen Armin?" She intertwined her fingers together. "No, you wouldn't. Of course, you wouldn't. You're still thinking about Levi's reasons for choosing Armin over Erwin... you think it's foolish and you can't wrap your head around it."

Hanji's singular amber eye flickered. Ida knew she had hit the nail right on the head.

"Don't worry, I would've chosen him too," Ida confessed, her stare darting back to Levi. "But it's a good thing that Erwin didn't hand the serum to you. And it's an even better thing that he didn't choose me."

Hanji sounded surprised at her statement. "Is this what you really feel?"

"Yeah. Erwin should rest—he deserved it. I don't know if you know this, but it was obvious he was tired of being Commander. It was hell for him. Erwin only bore with it and carried out what he had to do. But… even though I know this, I still would've never let him go because I don't have the strength to do it." Ida smirked to herself. "That's the thing about people like them—Erwin and Levi… I never understood it. They always think that their sacrifices are never in vain, and their own will is worth nothing because something is always bigger and more important than them, but it's because of this that Levi understood Erwin more than any of us… because they are the same..."

Hanji breathed out deeply, the poignant emotions prominent in her words. "You don't... blame him then?"

"I've given up on blaming people."

The silence that befell them was melancholic in nature. Somehow, it soothed Ida and gave her the strength to find the words.

"Hanji… did you know that in the end, Erwin must've regretted ever being Commander?"

Ida looked at her now, her gaze was unwavering but her eyes slightly wet. When she continued to speak, though, her voice was steady.

"Erwin's greatest wish was never to become Commander… it was something so much more simple… but that's where fate led him to, and he had to continue with that path. Which is why… what Levi did… was mercy."

Her hands bunched together to prevent them from trembling. It pained Ida to say these words out loud. It was as if her entire existence hurts, the very spark of life feeling like a flame against her ribs as if to shatter them. But she found the strength to carry on.

"I'm not as strong as Levi. I'm not as selfless, nor do I have any honor like him. But I do know something, Hanji... what Levi did was right. Erwin died willingly for humanity, but that doesn't mean that his own will meant nothing. For a man who was forced to live his own life solely for the sake of others, burdened with guilt each day, it'd be cruel to bring him back when he was ready to… forget his dreams and die."

When she finished, Hanji's gaze fell to the floor. She didn't move for a long time. This gesture only made Ida realize how much it must've destroyed her to see Erwin go. Everyone had thought that he would always be leading them, but now…

"The hardest choices require the strongest will, huh?" Hanji voiced her thoughts tentatively. "Yes, that sounds just like them…"

Dry pity reveled in Ida's gaze when she studied Hanji's lonesome form. She looked positively distressed, and Ida could guess what was bothering her. Levi choosing Armin also meant that Erwin's responsibilities had now shifted to her shoulders—she must've taken her confession of how Erwin must've regretted being Commander personally.

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm confident you'll do a good job."

"I doubt I would." Hanji settled on the rock beside her, looking as if all her energy was drained from her. "If there really is a world out there I don't think I can ever fill in his shoes. I'm not as competent as he was."

"Dumbass. Erwin chose you—you were always his successor. That man always thinks two steps ahead. You'll do well."

Hanji released a sad chuckle, but she humored her, "Mobilt always said that if I were to become Commander, he would work himself to death. He used to joke that the Survey Corps would become a den for experiments on Titans instead of embarking on scouting expeditions. 'A disaster', he said..."

Ida gazed at Hanji with remorse. All her grief within her aside, Ida had forgotten that she wasn't the only one mourning. She touched Hanji's shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

Hanji took another moment to close her eyes to regain her composure. Her demeanor soon changed as a wave of vibrancy re-entered her body. An artificial smile adorning her lips, she looked at Ida with a single joyful eye that still glistened with captive tears.

She clasped Ida's hand on her shoulder. "Thanks."

Though her face shimmered with cheerfulness, her single brown eye told the truth. Ida could see right through it. She could see the pain of loss. She could see Mobilt in them.

Another stream of silence spilled over them like a waterfall as both women took the tranquility to reminiscence the loss of their loved one.

"Does it ever end...?" Ida found herself asking aloud. "The deaths, this war… will it ever end?"

The question hung heavily in the air between them. For a moment Ida thought Hanji wasn't going to answer. It would be just like her to be tight-lipped about this sort of thing, especially if the answer was no.

"We have to believe it will," Hanji finally replied. "We have no choice but to believe it will."

Ida smiled sadly. They had departed a hundred soldiers strong and only ten survived. Again, why does each success come at such a high price?

How much longer must they—she believe that this was the right thing to do?

Ida didn't have time to dwell on it though. Footsteps, followed by more voices, called for their attention. Ida realized Levi was waving them over. They had successfully removed the boulder blocking the basement door.

They got to their feet immediately.

The basement… the truth of the world…

Ida's heartbeat revved to life in anticipation for the storms to come; this was the grand prize that was paid by Erwin's life and hundreds of good soldiers. She didn't know how, but she knew this would be the next catalyst for a new emerging war. And for a moment, just for the briefest of moments, before the storm hits, all Ida wanted to do was run.

But...

"Indeed," Ida said sorrowfully, "it seems that all we can do now, is to move on..."

With her own two feet, heavy with the resolution, Ida walked to her new fate lying beneath the basement.

No matter who we must leave behind.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

The moment she saw the first page of Grisha Yeager's journal, Ida knew.

Truth to God, she had known it for a long time, but there was never any concrete evidence supporting this claim. Until now that is. When Ida first laid eyes on the picture of Grisha, Dina, and Zeke, she felt an unwarranted chill run down her spine.

The photograph, as small as it was, carried the irrefutable proof that the world existed beyond the Walls.

Humanity had never perished. It was all a lie.

As the group huddled together in solemn contemplation, Eren read out the contents of his father's journal to them—that of the country of Marley, of the wretched history of the Eldian Empire, and finally of Grisha's arrival to the walls, along with the Titan Shifter power that he inherited from the Owl.

It was all startling information, but it was all within the realms of comprehension. Ida was holding onto her sanity just fine until Eren reached the last page.

"He wrote about the Starke family too, or more accurately, he wrote about Elsie Starke."

"He did?" Hanji rushed to him and tilted her head to read the page. "Let me see."

Eren's face darkened. "He said that the Starke family that created the Titans are also known as the walking history books of the Eldian Empire. And that they are... 'able to understand the creation of the Titans'?"

The Commander's brows knitted together as she read the journal. "'The key to ending the cycle of hatred,' huh? The Starkes who are the walking history books of Eldia..."

Hanji let the silence hover when she finished talking. Ida did not have any words. She knew that everyone was studying her closely for a reaction or maybe an input, and so she controlled herself—face impassive, heart stable.

But the truth was, she was too lost to even start to categorize her emotions.

Subjects of Ymir, paths, world's wrath; every single word that once had an ambiguous meaning suddenly came back to life in her brain.

Ida forced her inner thoughts to materialize what Elsie had once said. "No matter how many Titans humanity kill—no… no matter what we do! We will always be condemned to live within these Walls! There is no way to escape it, Ida!"

She didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Now, she could understand. The walls were never made to cage humanity from monsters, they were made to cage the monsters—them—from the world.

Ida kept her face impassive when she finally spoke, "I'm guessing there are no other mentions of Elsie?"

"None." Eren closed the last journal, handing it to Hanji beside him. "But apart from the Starkes, my father also mentioned the importance of the Founder… of the Titan that is within me…"

Hanji rubbed her chin and studied the journal in her hand, "Hmmm, since this journal was written by Grisha in preparation that he perished and is unable to tell the true history of the walls, I doubt he would've included all information, particularly about the Starkes. He must've thought that it was too dangerous to put it in a journal, lest it ends up in the wrong hands instead of a patriot."

Mikasa pursed her lips, silent in thought. "Then are we at another dead end?"

Hanji tapped a finger to her chin, head tilted as she observed Ida through lenses that flashed in the small fire lamp. "I don't think so, didn't Grisha say it? The Starkes can put an end to this cycle of hatred. It's a lead."

"Don't stop there, idiot," Levi growled, trying his best not to lose his patience, "Elaborate. So what, everyone here is a shitty Titan?"

"Subjects of Ymir," Ida corrected concisely, folding her arms. "We know the history books part is true at least, I saw the girl who was the first Titan and my ancestor Odina who created her..."

Eren frowned. "Wait. You saw her?"

"Forget that for now, Ida you can explain it to him later. Elsie is dead," Levi reminded with a scowl, bringing the topic to a more important one. "We aren't getting any more information than this shit, it's another dead end." He glared at Hanji. "Did Elsie's diary mention anything about the key to end all of this? About Odina?"

Odina.

Ida wasn't listening any longer, her mind becoming nothing more than blank noise.

Funny.

She had always thought that her family was cursed—that no matter how much she carried the traits of a Starke, she would be able to write down her own fate in blood. Ida had always thought that some of her misfortune was her own fault.

Creator.

That word seemed to echo from somewhere deep within her consciousness.

The walls—or Paradis Island—had always been a bright memory to her, one of innocence, righteousness, justice. Now, all Ida could think about how pitiful they were, how wrong they were to believe in such a fairy-tale that Titans were the true monsters, and how one single woman was responsible for the damnation of thousands with her creation...

Odina Starke.

Odina Fritz.

The Devil on earth that was also the…

Creator…

The word kept coursing through her.

Her body moved on its own. Ida walked in a trance-like manner to the other two journals that were on Grisha's Yeager desk. Her mind was spinning, whirling with memories and thoughts. The puzzle pieces were finally aligning.

The next step for the Survey Corps would be removing the threat of Titans. Then, when they get to the world beyond the walls, as the hated race of the world… as the race scorned upon for having the ability to turn into Titans… in order to stop the cycle of hatred, they would have to…

There is only one way to stop the cycle of hatred, Ida concluded in wild bewilderment. There is only one way...

"Ida?" she heard Levi's voice from behind her, but she ignored it.

The creator...

Her fingers landed on one of Grisha's journals.

Can also be…

A jolt took hold of her like a bolt of lightning. Her knees buckled and gravity pulled her down.

The destroyer.

Light flashed across her vision.

The whiteness was blinding. Ida felt as though something otherworldly had yanked her soul from her body. The whiteness burned and scorched her eyes—a stark illumination subverting the darkness.

She tried to speak, to gasp out, to breathe even. Yet she wasn't suffocating. And for a long time, nothing surfaced or gasped with a breath. The intangible whiteness just spread on. It was just there, enveloping and stretching on for eternity.

Ida felt herself floating in a place without a universe, without time or bodies or consciousness. She didn't know how long she was in the state of suspended animation.

But then, she heard the voices, shrill and sharp.

Her mother's and Grisha's.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

Year 845, Grisha's Basement.

Elsie chased after him in the small confines of the basement. Desperation clung to every inch of her body. Grisha began to retreat, his pace quickening by the second. But he was no match for the woman rushing to him to prevent him from leaving.

"Grisha, please listen to me—"

"No!" Grisha whirled around to face her, incredulous. "We have discussed this before! You know why we can't do that!"

"Then when?!" Anxiety was present in her elevated voice. "How long more do we have to live? I do not want to pass this burden—this curse to my daughter!" She placed her hand on her chest and schooled her features into one of conviction, Elsie needed him to know how serious she was, "I can do it! My bloodline can end the curse of all Subjects of Ymir! The creator can also be the destroyer, Grisha! I'm certain my family can remove everyone's ability to turn into Titans!"

He clapped his hands together and brought them to his lips, a gesture to appease his growing frustration. Grisha was desperate to make her understand, it wasn't as easy as she had made it out to be.

"Elsie, beyond those walls, lies all the enemies of Eldia."

"It doesn't matter—"

"We are condemned by everyone in this world, feared by them!" Grisha shouted for the hundredth time, not understanding why she couldn't get the big picture. "Look around you! The walls are a hundred years behind! If we take away this race's only weapon—the ability to transform into Titans—madness will descend upon us! You're suggesting that we face the might of the world without any power!"

She remained undeterred by the disbelief in his voice. "Once the world sees that we are just like them—that we are normal—they will accept us! We can finally be free from oppression!"

"You do not know the world, Elsie." Grisha shook his head, enunciating on every word. "You don't know how deep the hatred for the Subjects of Ymir stems within them—you don't know the world beyond. They won't let us go, not after what our ancestors did. If you do this Marley might even retaliate. What about the people of the walls then?"

"Grisha, please—"

"I will not risk it."

Elsie fell silent. He was right, unlike him, she didn't know about the world beyond. She should not allow her desperation to take precedence tonight, but there was no only way.

"If you will not help me, you're forcing me to take the Founder myself."

"Don't," Grisha gritted out. "Didn't you say your brother watches you like a hawk? His men are everywhere. If you move unwisely you're not only putting yourself at risk but your daughter too."

Her fist curled at her sides, angered that she couldn't even argue with that. "Rich words coming from you. Don't you know you're leaving me no other choice but to do it myself?"

"You're being irrational, it's not as easy as it seems—"

"Even now, even at this point, why are you still hesitating? Is this about your family again?! You've wasted thirteen years of your tenure! Thirteen! I've said this before, don't delude yourself with a false peace!"

Grisha met her eyes, glare for glare. He didn't answer her questions, but instead endeavored on another way to argue with her, "You don't even know if it will work, you're gambling with nothing more than theories."

"But how long more do we have to live?!" Elsie reiterated her point. "When will this hatred for the world hold for us stop?! Because going by what you said, I can only remove the power of Titans when everyone apart from the Eldians are wiped out from the face of this earth!"

Grisha regarded her anger with leveled coolness. "Everything you're proposing is based on assumptions on what little knowledge you have of your powers. We cannot act recklessly, have patience."

"I have patience," Elsie argued. "I've waited and bid my time. The time is right, the time is now."

Grisha swayed his head in agitation. She truly did not see the complexity—or the flaw—in her 'simple' plan. "You once told me if the Royal family or your brother finds out about us. Both my family and your daughter will perish with us. We've been careful, but if we act recklessly now all will be lost."

"Grisha, please... There has to be a way. You know about the Titan's powers more than me and you aren't being watched by anyone. You can help me—"

"Your Titan is different from mine, and so is the power that runs in your bloodline. I don't even know if I'm capable of teaching or helping you. There is more to our history than we know. We have to be patient."

A momentary silence perused through the air between them. Elsie was still staring at Grisha, she was still trying to find a way to convince him. It wasn't until she sighed exasperatedly and looked down glumly at her own hands did she speak again.

"I can't be patient any longer."

She knew how reckless she sounded, but being cowardly was her last priority. This was about preservation. There was too high of a chance that only a world of hell would await them if they laid still. Elsie could not endure that type of aftermath.

"My brother… he knows something pertaining to our powers. He gets it from the paths, I'm certain of it. But… no matter how much I try, I can't seem to do it." Her lips quivered. "Do you remember what I told you about the time I became a Titan Shifter?"

Grisha regarded her with a silent response, but she knew that he remembered. Elsie laughed miserably, recalling the events.

"I dreamt," she said softly. "I was in an endless land, an aurora in the night sky, the ground covered in sand… I was in the paths. And I saw a woman—red hair, green eyes, a white dress, and wooden bangles on her wrist and ankles. 'You are not the one', she told me, and she kept saying it until I woke up."

She fixed her gaze back on him. "Only an awakened Starke can channel the Will of Odina… I can't awaken no matter how much I try, but I saw her once, Grisha! I saw Odina! Maybe I have a connection with her too as my brother has! I believe I can do it again! If I gain access to her memories—if I understand how she created the Titans… I can learn how to remove the Titan's power from this world as well! I can correct our history!"

When Grisha only remained stubbornly silent, she looked to his journals that he had written on the desk.

"You will die soon, and I, a few years later… we have our tenure to consider. The Founder is where all the paths meet, right? Then wouldn't it help me gain Odina's memories? Maybe even to meet her? Talk to her?" Desperation teemed in her voice. "Please. We can end this, Grisha. Help me."

"Elsie—"

"It's a risk yes, but do you want to subject our children to this agony—to this burden?!"

A long-overdue light of realization dawned in Grisha's eyes as he grimaced. "I don't want to pass this on to Eren, you know that more than anyone else."

"Then help me," she said. "If I cannot finish this, this burden would have to be passed on to Ida, and if not her then her children!"

Grisha receded from his expressionless facade when she placed herself in front of him, eyes dissecting. The shone of pain and conflict finally emerged from his countenance as she continued on.

"Help me end this cycle—for our children. For their future."

"I—"

"Even if it's just a theory, the Founder cannot remain in the hands of the Royal Family, that much is clear." Elsie reminded him of a crucial fact. "We need to take the Founder," she gripped onto his biceps. "You need to take the Founder. That is your goal from the start—your duty as an Eldian restorationist!"

Grisha swallowed, and she knew she was close to convincing him.

"Take the Founder, Grisha. We can decide our next step then."

He inhaled a shuddering breath and closed his eyes. She allowed him to. But to her disappointment, when Grisha looked at her again, he appeared conflicted as though he had come to a difficult decision.

"The Founding Titan cannot be utilized by anyone else other than the Royal bloodline." He pulled away from her. "If we are not careful, our children might not even have a future to look forward to. The time to act isn't now."

"How long then?! You only have less than a year to live, if not now, when?!"

"Let me think about this."

"Grisha—"

He cut through her sharply. "I'm aware that I'm dying, Elsie."

Elsie scoffed miserably. Again, she took inventory of three journals on his office desk.

"You're a fool, Grisha. A bloody fool. If we put an end to this ourselves… there wouldn't even be a need for you to write any of this down." Her eyes darkened. "You look like a fool preparing for his death."

A stagnant silence hung over them at the last of her words. Suddenly, Grisha's face twisted agonizingly. It appeared as though she had just reminded him of a crucial fact. Elsie lifted a brow at this reaction, she didn't quite understand, but she sensed that there was something else holding him back.

"Grisha?" she said seriously. "Is there something you're not telling me?"

Grisha was silent for a moment as he busied himself by packing his briefcase. "You should leave. Carla is returning soon with the kids."

"I'm not leaving until you answer me."

He exhaled excruciatingly at her persistence. "Do you recall… what I told you about the visions I see? Memories of myself from someone's else point of view… as if someone was watching me...?"

Elsie didn't reply and waited for him to continue, which he did with great difficulty.

"I'm almost positive that what I'm seeing is a memory of my successor, transmitted to me through the unique ability of my Titan."

The magnitude of his words slowly soaked into her. Elsie's eyes expanded.

Successor?

But if he had a successor, then this meant that…

"That can't be," Elsie shook her head. "Because that'll mean—"

"Someone else will inherit my Titan," Grisha confirmed calmly. "If this is true, we will fail, Elsie. In my lifetime, we will not be able to succeed in removing the power of Titans from this world."

Elsie shook her head again, refusing to believe it. "No, that's impossible. If that is the case, then… we should do it now—"

"The future can't be changed," Grisha interrupted. "It's already set in stone."

Elsie took her eyes off him. His appearance only reminded her of how hopeless their predicament was. It only served to reinforce the fact that Grisha's end was approaching—their end was approaching.

"Who is it…?" Elsie asked in a frayed voice seconds later. "Eren?"

"I don't know yet." Grisha sighed. "Probably."

Elsie didn't speak for a long time as she processed the complications. A child. Grisha would actually leave his Titan to a ten-year-old boy? Leave his legacy? This begotten burden and power?

When Grisha was done packing, he looked back at her with tormented eyes. "I must leave for business at Wall Sina in a few days' time. When I get back, I promise we'll continue this conversation then. You should go now."

For a long lingering minute, all Elsie did was hold his pained gaze in her eyes. "Are… you going to tell your son everything?"

She watched as his shoulder stiffened and then slowly relaxed. His answer was clear.

"You can't possibly do that to your own child."

"I can't say for your reasons not to tell your daughter about the true nature of your family, but don't you think that it's time as well? Your brother doesn't seem like the type to let her live happily without a care in the world."

"There's no need for her to know. She desires to be no one. Ida had once said that she didn't need her last name."

"She can't hide from it forever."

"She can if we can succeed in our plans."

"Elsie—"

She stopped him. "Are you certain you will die?"

Grisha only regarded her with a wry smile. But it was enough for her to understand.

Elsie blinked glumly. Her gaze moved to scour the damp basement, wondering how he could be so calm in the prospect of his imminent death. Of their failure.

"It'll be hard without you..."

Grisha smiled kindly as he led her out of the basement, "As long as the walls have the Founder's powers, a member of the Royal family, and a living Starke—all is not lost yet. We still have time, Elsie. We'll think of something. Don't worry."

Seeing her off the basement entrance, Grisha did not know then how their lives would change after their final meeting. They had no idea then looming threat making its way to the Walls. They had no idea that Wall Maria would fall before they could meet again—and that their children's lives would be plunged into anarchy soon after.

Now on the streets, Elsie cast one final glance at Grisha as he disappeared back into his house. She held onto her hood when she saw Carla approaching with Eren and Mikasa in tow. Peaceful smiles adorned their faces. They passed her easily, unaware of who she was.

Elsie sighed when she observed the towering Walls surrounding the bustling city. The cool wind brushed past her. She clutched her chest, attempting to calm the unsettling feelings within her.

"I hope so, Grisha… For our children's sake, I really hope that you're right..."

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

A few seconds—that was how long she was gone for.

Already accustomed to the visions, it took Ida no time at all to assimilate back to reality. When she looked up, Levi and the rest were hovering over her, tense with worry.

Levi helped her off the floor. "Oi, what's wrong—"

He cut himself off. Ida realized that he was staring at her eyes. The strengthening of his grip told Ida that he knew exactly what was going on. The group fell into a foreboding silence after Levi settled her into a chair.

"Ida?" Hanji probed. "Did you see something?"

She sighed warily. With the contents of her visions still vivid, Ida began to explain the important bits she learned with haste, intentionally leaving out the part where there was a tenure on a Titan's Shifter life.

It was as useless as mending broken porcelain with a plaster, but after all the shit they went through, Ida thought it was wiser not to tell Eren that he was living on borrowed time. There was already so much to process.

There was doubt in Ida's mind that Elsie and Grisha were planning something drastic pertaining to the removal of the power of Titans from this world. After what she had seen, she was convinced that they had to be a method. To her surprise, while everyone reacted with the expected reaction of shock, Hanji took the revelations with nothing more than a pensive nod and a blank expression.

"I figured that was the case," Hanji's shoulder slumped when she finished. "Elsie did mention some of this in her diary as well."

"And you waited this long to tell us?" Levi grumbled, making his agitation apparent. "Why?"

She threw a sideways glance at her, and Ida knew she was being considerate of her emotional state before. "I wanted to wait until we went to the basement," she lied.

"Nothing about this was mentioned in my father's journal." Eren flipped through the journals one last time to be sure. "But if he was planning something like this, then why…?"

"Eren, give it to me. I will check it again," Mikasa said. "Maybe you missed something."

Ida stopped them. "He probably didn't mention this because Grisha was against it. He believed that it was as good as damnation for us. Even turning us back to 'normal' humans was not enough for the world to see us as normal people; not after what our ancestors had done. Our ability to turn into Titans—as ironically as it is—is currently the only source of weaponry for us because we are 100 years behind."

Hanji rubbed her nose bridge. "Ah yes, the talk of 'blimps' in Marley… ships that could fly like a bird and be used in warfare…" She glanced back at them, heavy with solemn resolution. "Well, Grisha is right in one thing. With our current technology, if the world attacks we'd never be able to fight back, much less defend without Titans. We need the power of Titans."

"Never thought I'll say this, but that's a pissin' way to think," Levi snapped. "So what? Do we rely on turning our own people into those shitty Titans forever? Tsk, let's go back to the Walls and tell them then: 'we need to turn you into mindless naked beasts'." He snorted. "Yeah, maybe they'll even celebrate."

Hanji knitted her brows. "I don't mean forever, just until we've secured the safety of the walls."

Levi let out a bark of snarled laughter at that. He folded his arms as his expression hardened. "What about the method?"

Mikasa looked confused. "Method?"

"The method to get rid of the damn Titan power from all of us."

All eyes fell on Hanji when the glaring question mark was brought forward. The new Commander only embraced the gazes with a grim look and said, "Nothing of this was mentioned in Elsie's diary."

"Didn't Elsie say she wanted to obtain the Founder?" Mikasa offered. "It's just a theory, but doesn't this mean that the method lies with the Founder?"

Levi's scowl grew even more intimidating. "Theory? We're relying on another shitty theory?"

"Seeing as we are in a slump now, we have no choice but to consider everything," Hanji shrugged. "It wasn't like Elsie knew the method too."

"She didn't know about the method," Ida confirmed. "But you're wrong about something here, Mikasa. Elsie was hoping to obtain the Founder because she wasn't able to awaken and channel the Will of Odina—she was pinning her hopes that the Founder can help her obtain Odina's memories to learn the method. Or to even awaken as Jaron had. She believes the Founder is where all the paths connect."

Levi grunted in acknowledgment and nudged his chin at Hanji. "What do you think about this?"

Hanji looked at her. "Well… the goal here is to access Odina's memories and learn the method to remove the curse from us all, right?"

Hesitantly, Ida nodded.

The Commander sighed a relieved breath. "That's one piece of good news at least."

Levi grimaced. "Oi explain, four eyes."

"She means it because I'm already an awakened Starke," Ida said, "I naturally already have a connection to Odina. There's no need for the Founder."

"Precisely." Hanji agreed, fixing her attention on Levi. "We've already confirmed Ida was able to see Odina and enter her memories, so maybe all we have to do is wait for a vision to come to her. Meanwhile, we can focus on developing our technology and securing peace."

Levi said nothing more but exercised his jaw, quiet with his discontent.

"But what if the method to remove the Titans requires the Founder? I can't utilize the full extent of it… could this the reason why nothing happened when you touched me before?"

Eren's input caused a sudden tension to emerge in the basement. He stared at Ida with an unreadable expression—it was hard to decipher what he was thinking.

His statement reminded Ida of another pearl of information. "Now that you said it, Grisha did say that as long as the walls have a Starke, the Founder, and a member of a Royal bloodline, all is not lost for us yet."

"Royal bloodline?" Mikasa repeated for clarification.

"Historia?" Eren said thoughtlessly. "What about her?"

Hanji tapped her chin thoughtfully, "Hmm, when Grisha said this, did he already possess the Founder?"

Ida shook her head. "No, but he knew that the Founder couldn't be controlled by anyone outside the Royal bloodline."

Hanji pursed her lips and glanced at Eren sadly, her grim expression noting that they had reached yet another dead end in this regard. "Then maybe... Eren is right. What is needed is the true Founding Titan's power..."

Mikasa bit her lip. "But… Eren can't…"

Eren pressed his fists to his sides. He looked as though he was hating himself for it.

The conversation lapsed in a foreboding silence, each processing their next step and the sea of complications that what they had learned would bring. They had hoped the basement would grant them answers, not more hardships and questions.

Suddenly, Ida felt the dissecting gaze penetrate the sides of her skulls and snapped out of her contemplation. There was only one person who possessed such a piercing gaze.

Levi.

She made eye-contact with him.

And Ida could see what he was thinking—the worries and the fears that silently plagued him.

Levi obviously didn't like where this was headed, neither did he appreciate how she was so nonchalant about everything. Ida could understand his worries. Grisha had said that Marley capitalized and relied on the Titan's powers for warfare. Surely, they wouldn't be happy if their greatest weapon were rendered useless by her.

Worse was the glaring question mark that was left unanswered: what was needed to remove the curse of Titans from this world? How could she learn the method? Was it really that simple as waiting for Odina's memories to come to her?

After all, both Levi and Ida knew that nothing in their cruel world was ever given freely. Everything they earned, every small victory was paid in full—usually by blood or the sacrifice of someone.

But whatever the consequences were, Ida decided there was no point in fretting in it. This was her fate. She couldn't escape this responsibility because she was the last Starke—

The last…?

Ida felt the comforting beat of life in her womb again.

She was the last Starke now. Not for long. As Ida had feared, being born as a Starke would only mean a damned destiny. Suddenly, she could see herself as Elsie and she felt it—all the pain, secrets, and burden she had endured for her.

Hardships that Ida would gladly endure for her children too.

Dread teemed inside her. Ida stubbornly steeled herself and threw her dark thoughts somewhere so she wouldn't dwell on it.

No.

She was not Elsie Starke, and Levi was not Erwin Smith—their story had yet to conclude.

"Anyways," Ida got off her chair systematically, "theories aside, one thing is clear: I need to obtain Odina's memories and then... we can start planning for our next move."

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

By the time they started their preparations to depart for Wall Rose, Levi's mood was foul.

He took inventory of all the carnage on the fields, of all the broken bodies that they couldn't bring back. All the carnage that happened only to give him a chance to kill the Beast Titan.

And that chance fucked off to hell because of his incompetence.

He hated himself for it.

But the bearded bastard was the least of Levi's problems for now. He would find another day to fulfill his vow. Now, the tiny voice at the back of his head telling him that, based on every bullshit thing they learned, there was a good chance that Ida would be the center of the next war next to Eren.

Getting to the damn basement being successful aside, it was no consolation to him at all that Ida was suddenly weighed with such a heavy responsibility. Removing the power of Titans from the world seemed to be a pipe dream just months ago, but now, it was possible.

It was possible because there was the last Starke within the walls.

Shit. There was no other way was there?

All he could do now, was everything in his power to ensure that she was safe till then.

Levi's jaw clenched. Like she'd ever been fucking safe, really.

"Hey."

He moved his head slightly to see Ida approaching him. She held up something wrapped in a handkerchief for him to take.

"Shit is this?"

"Ration bar," she shrugged. "Isn't some tea and crumpets, but you haven't eaten anything since we got here."

He cautiously accepted it from her. Levi studied her. She looked good—better even, but he couldn't deny the turbulent emotions swirling in him whenever he looked at her now. The thought of her entire ordeal hours ago made him want to scream until his voice was hoarse.

"Can you ride a horse?"

She nodded. "Hanji fixed me up, I'm as good as new."

Yeah, that sounded about right. Hanji was always better at that shit than him.

"Good."

Levi had thought that would've ended the conversation. But instead, Ida only lingered beside him. And this confused him. Why was she acting as nothing had happened?

Was she forgiving him…?

Maybe Ida didn't notice him staring at her, or perhaps she was ignoring it, but she started even dusting his cloak. "You should rest for a little bit, mm? There's still time before we leave."

As though adverse to her touch, Levi took a step back from her, fixing her with a severe gaze. "I'm good."

He knew Ida understood his hesitation when she only responded with a small soft smile. A heavy silence settled between them. Levi wondered if she was thinking about the part he played in Erwin's death.

And yet, now that it was done, he almost didn't even want to know her reasoning.

"This is fucking bullshit, you know." Levi didn't look at her. His words were blunt. He didn't care. His gaze settled on the horizon.

He heard her inhale a shaky breath, and he knew at that moment she couldn't look at him, either. "Levi… I…"

"Tsk." Levi ran his hair through his hair, vexed. For fuck sake, he had no right to be beside her. He'd only agreed to protect her—anything else was unnecessary. "We'll wait for the sun to set before departing, get ready."

He was just about to leave when Ida stopped him. "Wait, can we talk about this?"

Levi observed her. Her expression betrayed no malice—she looked, if anything, sadden. And this irked him even more. "About what?"

Ida looked at him then, and he hoped for once his feelings were painted clear as day across his face because he didn't want to have to say it all aloud to her.

There was nothing more to talk about between them.

Suddenly, almost magically, her green eyes hardened and her shoulders squared. Ida fixed him with her signature glare. "About Erwin—about us."

Fucking bollocks.

Levi regretted asking immediately. No shit, he should've known that it would be about this.

Idiot.

But he didn't want to talk about it—though he knew they should. There were so many things to talk about, but they were all shitty topics to make him feel even shitter. But he knew, didn't he? This had always been a possibility; Ida leaving him one day should things take an unexpected turn, yet this hollow ache was starting to get too unbearable to endure.

"Levi," she persisted. "We have to talk."

To his eyes, Ida suddenly looked like a tree, rooted to the stood and immovable in the face of the storm.

Fuck, she wasn't going to drop this matter, was she?

"We are beyond the walls," Levi finally broke the silence, keeping his voice even. "Later."

She balled her fingers into a fist. "Don't avoid it."

Fuck this. Levi started to retreat. He didn't have time for—

"Don't you dare turn your back on me, Ackerman! Don't you dare fucking treat me as if I am so fragile!"

Levi halted at her indignant outburst. He turned around, unable to conceal his astonishment. He looked over his shoulder at the rest of his squad staring at them with wide eyes. Hanji quickly gestured for them to continue packing and ignore them.

Thank the Walls Hanji had good sense.

Ida's chest moved rapidly when she hurled him a formidable death glare of her own. "We need to talk. Now."

This wasn't the time for this, but Levi knew that Ida wouldn't back down now. Grabbing her wrist, he dragged her further away.

Once he was certain they were far away from their comrades, Levi allowed his eyes to fall on her for a few seconds before softening his grim expression. He managed to suppress his anger, but only slightly.

Ida snatched her hand back. "Don't touch me."

Levi felt a nerve jump in his temple. He hated how this had escalated. He hated how he now stood here at odds with her. One moment, she was in his arms, and now...

"You got it wrong."

Ida stared at him in disbelief.

"I got it wrong?" she said, her every word dripping with acidity.

"I—"

"I got it wrong?" she repeated, nearly snarling.

"Shut up and listen," Levi snapped, eyes flashing. "It's not that."

"Then what?"

He closed his eyes to temper his anger. Damn it.

Despite this gesture that would usually have her backing down, Ida only continued to press him, "Do you think that I would prefer if you stayed away from me? That I'm forcing myself to talk to you? Why? Is it because you feel that you don't deserve to be with me now—"

"Yes," Levi said piercingly, his agitation getting the better of him. His words were sharp, cruel even, but he didn't care. He had no more fucks to give. "I don't."

Ida halted mid-sentence and stared, obviously waiting for an explanation.

His heart was palpitating furiously now, and the throbbing pain in his chest had now intensified to the point where Levi could barely keep the anguish away from his visage. Before he could control himself, the words spilled out.

"I knew. For fuck sake, Ida, I knew what it would do to you. I knew how much you wanted to keep Erwin alive, and still, I let him die."

She had no other words. He couldn't read her expression. Ida just remained still, her eyes never leaving him as she listened.

Levi gritted his teeth. Fine. If she wanted to listen no matter how shitty it would make her feel, then—

"Erwin didn't want to die. He wanted to see the basement. But I told him to go on that suicide charge," Levi enlightened her with this piece of information that he knew would hurt her, every word icy with fury. "I asked him to die for humanity, and he did, and given the damn chance to go back I would've done it again."

His resolve to tell her the truth never faltered. He needed her to know everything, this was her right. "And at his last moment, before he left he told me to tell you he was sorry—"

"Stop," she finally breathed.

Levi ignored her, he couldn't stop now. He went on relentlessly, his own words transfixing dagger into his chest. He didn't know who he was saying it for anymore, her, or himself.

"Erwin never wanted to leave you. But he knew what he had to do, we were all fucked and there was no other way. Damn it, but even then the bastard didn't want to die; he wanted to see the basement; his shitty dreams and all. I knew and even when I had with the serum, I let him die—"

"Stop!" Ida shrieked, the rage now returning to her face.

The pain that rippled in her eyes was torturous to him, but Levi only embraced it. There he had done it. He fucked everything over. This was his punishment, fate's punishment, for what he had done.

But as they stared at each other, gazes broken and words unsaid—it only then did Levi finally admitted to himself, and only himself, that he did not want to bear this damn burden, did not want this shitty life, did not want this cursed power, did not want this duty, and he could not deal with its fucking consequences.

He just wanted her.

Levi wanted to take her away, to someplace far beyond the reach of everything. Far beyond their shitty circumstances. Far from the battlefield. Just them against the world.

But there was no other way. Those were nothing but dreams.

"What you did was right."

The sudden change in Ida's voice, from searing anger to benign understanding was a stark contrast to the tension around them—it caught him off-guard.

He narrowed his eyes and frowned. "What?"

"Don't." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "Don't blame yourself..."

Levi was speechless as he looked up and down at her, appraising her. She had gone crazy. Ida was fucking crazy to think that he shouldn't blame himself. Shit. This wasn't the reaction he was expecting.

"What else did Erwin say?"

Levi looked away, agitated. "Nothing—"

"What else did he say, Levi?" she demanded, cool with subdued fury. "About us, what did he say?"

Strangely, Levi couldn't bring himself to answer.

"He told you to protect me, to stand by me," Ida guessed with accuracy. She smirked wryly at the irony of the situation. "Didn't he...?"

Again, Levi couldn't bring himself to respond. He knew where she was heading with this conversation, but he could not bring himself to lie to her—to do what was right. He couldn't. It was a weakness on his part, but he was not stupid. He knew what he was doing by staying silent. Levi knew what he was confirming.

Foolish as it was, perhaps he wanted her to continue anyway. He wanted her to give him a reason to justify it within himself.

Selfish, stupid, redundant. But Levi did not dwell on it.

"Then stay," she said quietly, "stay with me."

Chest heavy with apprehension, Levi looked at her and saw in her; pain and hesitation. His heart thundered at those sincere words. The image of her grieving in front of Erwin's corpse flashed across his mind, but he pushed it away. His fingers flexed to hold onto her, but his conscience shrieking for him to remain stoic was too strong.

"Levi… I…"

Suddenly, Ida went quiet. Levi endured the silence for as long as possible. She was staring at her feet; it looked like she was deliberating on something. He kept his face neutral, waiting for her to speak.

What he was actually met with made his soul go cold.

"Sometimes," she said, "I wish you wouldn't remind me how easy it is to leave me. That you can just throw me away at any second should you deem it necessary..."

She lifted her face up and smiled sadly at him.

"I know. You don't have to remind me. I know I will never be your first priority, I know you can't offer me anything, so I never asked for much. But at this point, you should've known how much I need you too. Even Erwin knew… so why can't you see it...?"

Ida brushed past him, not even waiting for his reply. And Levi, unable to tell her the lies she always wanted to hear—the lies that she was always his first priority, that nothing else mattered but her—could only watch her leave.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

Ida Starke was just like any other mountain that stood amongst the heavens, its peak reigning over its inferior inhabitants. When untouched, she stands with towering pride and strikes awe into anyone who dares to look upon her.

However, when a tide changes and she feels the changes, she fights viciously to hold onto the remainder of her sanity that had catapulted within her wretched, yet elongated lifespan.

"Shut everything off," her black soul that was dormant for so long whispered in her ear. "Why are you fighting? No matter how much you try, you can never win against this world. If you don't feel, if you don't care, nothing can hurt you. Shut everything off."

This was her therapy. This was Ida's decade long-secret for her survival in a world so cruel, even beasts whimper in fear. Ever since Wall Maria fell, this was how she survived.

She lived and breathed power. She lived and breathed pride. She lived and breathed battles.

To fight the magnitude of the occasional crippling emotions that plagued her, Ida had to remain as enduring and towering like the mountains in Sina.

This tactic had always worked because they made her feel inhumane; they made her feel better than human. But now as the current magnitude of human emotions pelted over her, Ida couldn't help but feel more human than she ever felt in years.

Ida breathed deeply to regulate her breathing. She sat on the edge of Wall Maria, her mother's notebook on her lap.

So, what was this?

Why was it so hard to shut everything off now?

Hormones, she guessed. It had to be the fucking hormones.

But she knew that wasn't the only reason either. She had gotten too soft. Unknowingly, she had been leaning on a mountain so enduring, so strong, and so unbreakable that she had forgotten that she had to be one as well.

She became so human because she was happy. Because she had learned to dream and had convinced herself to hope.

The mere thought was almost comical to her. Didn't she know better by now? Her long fingers touched her mother's journal. Ida mentally prepped herself by internalizing everything that she had gained, discovered, and lost during the span of twenty-four hours.

Odina Fritz, Ivy Starke, Erwin's death, twins of the Starkes, Grisha, Elsie, humanity existing beyond the walls, and finally…

The Starkes being the only bloodline capable of removing the power of Titans from the world.

The creator and the destroyer.

Ida smirked bitterly. Funny how life comes into a full circle sometimes.

She had to take a preparatory breath before the images dispersed from her mind, bringing her back to the present.

Her fingers were steady and calm when she opened the journal.

Year 829

I've noticed it ever since father died. This change in brother. A cruelness in him that wasn't present before. It's getting to a point where I'm terrified of him. Exactly why I'm frightened is beyond me. He's my brother, my twin, my flesh and blood.

Maybe it's his obsession with the Titans or maybe he is blinded by our family's power. I do not know, but I'm afraid to even ask. Whatever Jaron has up his sleeves, I want no part in it. It shouldn't matter, especially when I have a newborn daughter to care for. I've already lost her twin during my complicated labor; the loss was terrible and made me ill with grief. I can't lose my Ida too, she needs me.

But sometimes… as I look at her, I see myself in my past. Innocent, ignorant and so terribly young. Not a day goes by that I don't lament that Ida was born with the red hair and green eyes of my accursed family. She'd be more beautiful with Erwin's light coloring, I think. Because everytime I look at her, I can't help but wonder whether father was right.

"We have to repent," he had always said. "We are sinners."

And every time I wanted to ask him: why do we have to repent for the sins of our ancestors? We did nothing wrong, did we?

But I could never muster the courage to do that. Because ever since the day I learned about the truth of my family—how we were responsible for the Titans. I wanted no part of it.

Perhaps... this was my sin that brother always talked about. The sin of ignorance.

Ida's mouth curled instinctually at her mother's familiar cursive writing.

Despite their differences, now Ida could see herself in her mother. Fool she was to also have been running from her fate as a Starke. They could run, deny it even, but the truth would always, always catch up.

Ida flipped through the pages, realizing that Elsie had only documented some memorable dates; her first birthday, the day she spoke her first word...

There was no longer any mention of the Starkes or Jaron.

Maybe Elsie did really live her life in blissful ignorance, refusing to accept the truth of our family.

Ida's eyes widened when she landed on another page.

Year 835

I had thought brother would have forgiven me in time, but now… I have given up hope of gaining his forgiveness. He blames me for it—for everything. Brother continues to aspire for greater things. Even now, it seems he is still seeking a way to overthrow the King and allow our family to control the Founding Titan.

It made me wonder, would a Reiss-Starke child truly nullify the vow of renunciation as Jaron had theorized? Did I truly damn humanity because I did not marry Rod Reiss? Not that it would matter, frankly. And I know I shouldn't dwell on it.

Because even if I had known about the intentions of the marriage before… I would've kept my daughter no matter the price.

She pressed a knuckle to her temple. Ida's headache was worsening by the second.

Because of me, she concluded miserably, there was a chance that the Royal Family who controlled Founding Titan would not be bound to the vow of renunciation if it merged with the Starke bloodline, but my birth negated all the chances.

She inhaled painfully to gather her nerves and flipped the pages again until she arrived on another page that interested her.

Year 837

Today was the first time Ida asked me about her father. I couldn't reply to her, but it made me think about what would've happened if I had eloped with Erwin as I intended to. What childish dreams. In retrospect, he cannot protect us. No one can.

It was a silly hope on a silly girl's part. I regret ever involving him in this mess. I cannot involve Erwin in this. No matter how much I want to run away from everything, I can't. Brother will hunt us down and he will never forgive us.

But… I wish…

I wish that I could see Erwin, even if it was for a little while.

Though alone, Ida fought to keep her emotions off her face. She could feel her mother's pain in the written words. Misery attacked her on all levels, but she pushed past it and flicked through the diary again.

Year 839

Jaron is possessed.

I'm certain of it. The brother I loved is long gone. He's possessed by the will of this person whose name he keeps saying. Odina. I'm sure she controls him; controls every awakened member of my family to her will. What other reason was there for his erratic change? Fool I was to not realize it earlier—who she was.

Odina is the founder of our house, the creator of the Titans.

She is the Devil on earth that father talked about.

Ida pressed her lips together. Everything was linked to Odina. She was certain Jaron had visions like her too. It felt as though she held the key to all of this in her hands in the form of the tattered old journal, but Ida just couldn't seem to get to the crux of why Elsie said Jaron was possessed by her.

If that was true, then would she be possessed in the future as well? Would she change like him? The mere thought terrified her.

Ida swallowed convulsively and continued skimming the pages. She couldn't be distracted, not when she was so close to learning everything.

Year 841

I got into an argument with Jaron earlier today. He has been paying more attention to Ida recently. I know what he intends to do—he intends to mould her into his heir as the next head of the Starkes that would continue his glory, to follow in his footsteps. He believes her special like him.

What was it he used to say again? Destined for greater things? It was a lunatic's rambling. But I cannot disregard his words. I would never let that happen to my daughter. God help him if he were to touch her. Even if it kills me, Ida will have no part in my demented bloodline.

I need to escape with her. Far away from our cursed history if possible. Though Jaron hit me for daring to argue with him again, he offered me a proposition in the end. Whether it is out of past familial affection we shared or whether he is just playing with me, I do not know, but I agreed with it.

I will be the other half of him he wants me to be.

The day is looming closer. Soon, I will be a Titan Shifter. I am terrified, but I cannot run. There is nowhere for me to go.

And no one to save me.

The silence that embalmed Ida was an unfamiliar sensation. It came over like a flood when she walked into the carnage that she single-handedly created within herself.

Rena was right in this as well, Ida concluded in misery. In order to protect me, Elsie became a Titan Shifter…

Resolution flooded back into Ida's hazy eyes. The pain, as crippling as it was becoming, was not going to be a deterrent for her.

Year 842

I saw Odina. I am sure it was her. The day I became a Titan, I saw her. But strange… didn't Jaron tell me that I was never able to channel her will? That I would never be able to see her? No matter how hard I think about it, I'm stumped. I can't possibly ask Jaron about this as well, lest he loses his temper again for meddling in his business that I wanted no part in from the start.

It has been a few months since I moved to Shiganshina, the furthest place from Jaron. Ida is not coping well with the change, the same for me as well. I cannot fathom my repulsive body nor can I come to terms with what Jaron made me into, but it was the price I paid for a momentary peace for my daughter. Occasionally, he called me back to Sina every month to utilize my powers. I dread those days I must face him. But other than that, I never felt safer.

Except… Jaron says I have thirteen years left to live.

Thirteen more years and then Ida will be left alone.

I don't think there's anything more terrible than being alone in the world. When you're alone, you lose everything. People may tell you that it's possible to start over, but it's not. It's not possible for Ida, I know my child. She is kind-hearted and truly too good to be born with a sinner's name.

Loneliness is such a frightening thing. Because when you're alone, you've lost all-purpose, all reason worth living… because what it means to be truly, truly alone is to have no attachment to anyone, to anything. Passion is what drives life, no matter if it is an ardent love or a revengeful ambition. If it consumes you and drives you… then you live.

Maybe it's because I live so near the Titans that dwelled beyond Maria, but I realized something paramount today and it terrified me. What would happen if the world's wrath truly comes for us as Jaron had foretold? What then? What about my daughter's future then? I only have thirteen more years.

The cycle of sin would only continue until all the Subjects of Ymir are eradicated from this world. It made me wonder something impossibly absurd that Jaron would've scoffed at: if we created the Titans, then is it possible if we can erase them?

I debated bringing this up with Jaron next week, a solution to our problem of sorts. Except… he would never agree to it. Our family power resides with the Titans. He would never consider that.

Ida slapped her hand to her forehead. This made no sense at all—how was Elsie able to see Odina? Did it have to do with her being made into a Titan?

Wait…

Then, does this mean that Ivy saw her as well...?

Dread pooled into her. Ida quickly flipped the pages again, keen to learn more. She read through the entries of the day that Elsie met Erwin at Trost and how she hated herself for lying to the two people she loved the most. Her heart lurched in pain, but she ignored it.

This wasn't what she was looking for—there had to be something, something more important.

As the dates turned nearer to the present, Ida finally found the entries with Grisha mentioned in them.

Year 843

One of my greatest fears is that no matter what I do, my precious daughter will leave me first. Ida had a fever this afternoon. I had thought it was just a cold, but when night fell and a storm rages, she could hardly even breathe.

I took Ida and braced the storm. There was a doctor in Shiganshina, one that was famed for developing the cure to the epidemic that plagued this city years ago. Grisha Yeager.

I arrived, knees scraped, palms cut from a fall, drenched in the rain with Ida in my arms and hysterical with worry. Grisha took Ida, gave me a cloak to cover myself, and dismissed his wife to tend to his children. When he was done attending Ida and I had calmed down, something strange happened.

Grisha asked me if I was part of the Royal Family. The question baffled me, of course. He tried to put it off that I had a noble air around me and that's why he assumed so, but the caution in his eyes told me otherwise.

Only then did I notice my cuts on my palm were no longer there. They had healed. This was the reason why he handed me a cloak and dismissed his wife—because my regenerating wounds were steaming.

I quickly realized that this man knew about the Founder—about the shifters as well. I was convinced that he was one of Jaron's men, sent to watch me but he only seemed more confused when I confronted him. Sadly, I couldn't get the answers from him when he hastily called for a carriage, eager to dismiss us.

This man is different. And I'm determined to find out why.

Ida could remember this incident. When she woke up from a delirious fever that almost took her life, Elsie had told her a kind doctor had saved her. She could've never imagined the doctor that saved her was Grisha, and that was how they met.

Grisha knew that she was a shifter as he was one too, Ida concluded tentatively. And to his knowledge, only the Founder had a shifter within the walls.

Heart heavy in her chest, Ida turned to the next entry.

Year 844

Grisha is a bloody fool. I've told him about my family, about everything I know, yet that fool refuses to complete his mission. He confessed to me that years ago, he already managed to find out the location of the Reiss family. A chapel, he says. Regardless, the fool chose to delay his mission in favor of staying with his family.

He argues that only the Royal family can utilize the full Founding Titan's power and he doesn't want to risk taking it so soon until he finds a way. But I know that's far from the main reason. I know he yearns to stay with Carla and Eren.

Why can't Grisha see it? How long do we have to live? Our curse of thirteen spares no one. To not pass on our sins, we must do it. I do not want Ida to inherit our sins just as much as Grisha doesn't want his son Eren to be involved with this mess.

A bloody sentimental fool that doctor is. With only one year left to live on his tenure, I wonder how long he can delay the inevitable. Nothing is going right. I feel like I'm on my wit's end. I've tried desperately to reach out to Odina again, to even awaken as Jaron had… but every attempt was unsuccessful and my frustrations are only growing by the day.

Meanwhile, it seems that Jaron is still playing the right hand of the king. Heavens knows what he is planning now, I've yet to discover anything else from my monthly visit to Sina. I can only hope that my efforts will bear fruit soon.

Ida swallowed the lump in her throat. She knew how it would play out. Elsie was never able to awaken, and despite their best efforts for their children, Grisha and Elsie were unable to shield their children from their begotten powers and responsibilities.

Despite being broken by the sledgehammer of the revelations, Ida was unwilling to allow any of this to thwart her resolve. She refused to experience hell without knowing the truth about everything.

Finally, Ida landed on the last entry.

Year 845, she read the date.

It was the year that Wall Maria fell and anarchy started her reign in her life. Humanity beyond the walls had come to wreak vengeance on the people behind the walls, just as her mother had feared.

Year 845

A few days ago, I went back to Sina on Jaron's orders. I finally succeeded in learning something. Jaron was talking to that hideous butler Anders, unaware I could listen in, and he said something about how the creator could also be the destroyer.

It delighted me to know my theory was right. I am never more certain that my bloodline was the key to erase the power of Titans from this world. Just that there was one small problem: I am still unable to awaken. I am still unable to see Odina.

But a realization came to me today. Jaron had always said that the true source of power comes from the Founder, where all the paths meet. He had always been obsessed with the Founder, lusted over it even—maybe, what I was missing was the Founder. I know that it's useless to try to obtain Odina's memories myself anymore. Years I've tried. I'm not an awakened Starke like Jaron is, and I cannot channel the Will of Odina, but maybe… the Founder will allow me to.

I know what it must do now. We must take the Founder. The key is with that Titan.

But Grisha, that daft fool refuses to do it. He fears my idea. I can comprehend his worries, but what other choice do we have?

Sometimes I wonder whether our goals truly align; his initial goal was to see our race restored to glory, meanwhile, I have always wanted to put it to an end. Regardless, one thing is clear to me. There is no time. He needs to complete this mission as a restorationist, and I need to end it before our accursed bloodline consumes my daughter just as much as it did me.

We need to put an end to this cursed history before another war erupts. The wheel of fate must stop spinning. The power of Titans must be eradicated from this world. Our accursed history must come to an end and it must end with our generation. For their future.

It is all for our children—

"Hey, brat."

Ida looked up to see Levi towering beside her. She was so engrossed in reading she didn't even notice him beside her.

Expression impassive, Ida did nothing but stare at him. She wondered why he was here. Levi made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with her. Not anymore at least.

Patiently, she waited for him to say something, or even to fire more angry words at her. Instead, Levi just sighed and extended his hand out. "Get up, we're leaving."

She raised a brow at this gesture. Ida looked past him to see that the rest had already descended down the wall. They were alone. She knew he could've called for someone else to fetch her, Levi didn't need to do it personally.

Unless...

He… wasn't leaving her?

A drop of happiness spilled into her. Without a moment's hesitation, Ida closed the book and accepted his hand. She was still holding his hand when she got to her feet.

And for a long time, they stared at each other, searching each other's faces. Words unsaid, love unconveyed, but the wavelengths of understanding were so glaringly clear. The unspoken words thundered into her heart.

Levi sighed. "It was never supposed to be like this… none of this shit was supposed to happen."

She was speechless when Levi suddenly framed his hands over her cheeks.

"We'll come back for Erwin soon." She could hear the sorrow magnify in his deadpan voice. "I won't let him rot here. He deserved to be buried with dignity, along with all the rest who died in this battle."

Ida lifted her eyes to meet him and knew he was struggling to form his thoughts into words.

"Everything..." Levi paused, seemingly to find the right words, "...will be okay..."

Okay?

Will things ever be okay again?

How could she allow herself to hope again? To believe? Everything that they know, everything they fought for, everything that they had believed in all their lives… was a glaring lie.

Maybe the peaceful world they believed to be out there, the love they had, the dreams they possessed were all lies too. Nothing but a facade.

Ida did not know how to respond. Nevertheless, she knew that her silence said it all. The cynic in her would never believe Levi entirely, but at that suspended moment in time, she believed everything he assured her.

She slowly grew lost in the pools of his gray eyes, finding it difficult to turn away from him. It wasn't until he sighed again that all thoughts dissolved into oblivion. While the cold wind swam like an ocean around them, canvassing over them and hiding them from the rest of the world, Levi did something that caused her heart to skip a beat.

In a fluid movement, Levi leaned in and pressed his forehead against hers. His hand held her face, sending slivers of warmth into her cold body. "Say something."

Inhaling a shuddering breath, Ida closed her eyes to bask in the peaceful moment with him. "What happens now…?"

"We have to discuss what we discovered with the military cabinet first."

"And then…?"

They lapsed into a strained silence, wrought with anxiety. Maybe Levi knew they were about to start another perilous journey together. This battle was just another catalyst. The tides were changing again. The fog had cleared, they had finally learned the truth of humanity, but there was nothing but a longer, more arduous road ahead of them.

She gazed at him and waited for him to speak.

Levi's eyes grew darker. "We fight."

Her lips curled. He made it seem so simple and straightforward. "Mhm… because the war hasn't ended yet..."

Along with her words that escaped her lips, Ida could see the fleeting images of her unattainable dreams fading—the tea shop, the family she wished she had with him, the life she desired Levi, everything... was slowly disappearing.

What a silly hope she had to think that this battle would be the finality of humanity's never-ending war. Their happy ending was still so far away.

"Not yet, but soon."

She smiled wryly, it was odd to hear him sound so positive, so assuring. Ida knew he was being considerate of her. "So… does this mean you are still going to see the sea with me as you promised?"

Ida could feel the tension in his frame when Levi replied, "Shit, Ida. Do I really have to say it?"

Her heartbeat slowed. Ida had always known that some choices were not available to them, but she did not mentally prepare herself enough for this moment.

She took his hands that were rested on her cheeks and brought them down.

Her lips parted reluctantly. Ida wished for the strength to tell Levi that there was another choice for them—that they didn't need to fight, they didn't need to go to the sea. She wanted to tell him she was carrying his child and that they had done enough for humanity. She desperately wished that she could tell him that he had spent years living selflessly for others and that it was enough.

It was time to retire, it was time to rest.

Another future was available to them.

But she couldn't. And never could.

"I've never been beyond Wall Maria," she said thoughtlessly, "I thought it would be beautiful… the sea, the land of ice… it represented the total freedom to live the life we wanted… but now that we're here, everything looks so much more… menacing there."

She swallowed tightly and squeezed his hands. "It won't be long before Ivy learns everything Elsie knows—didn't Eren say it? Titans can inherit their predecessor memory…. and if Marley wants to utilize Titans as war weapons then my existence…"

Levi sighed in agreement, his expression conveying to her that in order to end this war, they must take risks.

"Yes." As though reading her worried thoughts, Levi tightened his jaw. "It's only going to get more dangerous from here, those shit would want you too. But to get to you, they must go through me and I won't let anything happen to you."

Her heart expanded at his words. Feeling marginally better, she gave him a tiny smile. Together, they lapsed into another thoughtful silence. Like sleepwalkers, they gazed at each other, the world beneath them coming to a standstill. The stars of the night glowed harmoniously in the backdrop.

Another stolen moment of heaven… before hell came back to claim them.

"You ready to leave?" Levi asked seconds later, sensing the trepidation that continued to canvass over her.

His once-troubled face was replaced with the expression of a warrior going into a battle of a lifetime. They had bid goodbye to the lives they could've led as ordinary humans and were now, once again, desperate soldiers under the mercy of their cruel world.

But if Levi's apprehension was a precursor of things to come, then Ida knew they were in for a world of Hell. Ida didn't know what to expect and she didn't know how everything was going to play out. The only thing the deep subconscious part of her knew was that she wasn't ready.

She would never be ready for what was to come.

But…

If Levi was there, then...

She snaked her arms around her neck and pressed her lips to his. He tasted of salt of sorrow.

Ida may have been afraid of what's to come, but she was afraid of losing something much more.

When she pulled away, she smiled at him. "I'm ready. Let's go home."

He kissed her forehead and sighed. "Yeah. A bath would be great after all the shit I was covered in."

She laughed at his remark. "Stupid."

Levi arched a brow back and pulled her into another tight hug, "I've missed you, brat."

"I missed you too." Her voice was muffled against his shirt.

Levi pulled back, tipping her chin up so that he could look at her properly. There was a gentle look on his face when he brushed her hair away from her face. But despite this, despite the tender moment that was privy only to them, Ida could see it in his eyes when he gazed at her.

One glance into the eyes and Ida knew. Levi wasn't looking at her, and just her—even though she represented a different future for him, he was looking to humanity's future, he was thinking about his reasons for fighting that remained the same from day one.

Duty. Duty. Duty.

She wondered if that was what was reflected in her eyes as she looked at him as well. Or if it was something else.

Suddenly, the imaginary heartbeat in her womb thumped, syncing rhythmically with her own. It was so small, so fragile, yet the magnitude of its existence was so clear.

"Let's go," he murmured. "We shouldn't keep shitty glasses waiting."

He let go of her hands. Levi turned away. As tempted as Ida was to reach out to him again, she stopped herself. Instead, her hand went for her abdomen. The last words in Elsie's journal came back to her, thundering into her soul.

Indeed…

She smiled wryly.

It is all for our children.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

The sand was warm beneath her body.

Strange, she was dead. She shouldn't have felt anything. Lying on her side, Elsie stared blankly out at the endless fields of sand. Maybe this was hell, she was in purgatory for her sins. How else could she explain why she was trapped in this place?

She fisted the warm sand as her mind drifted. Elsie wondered how many days have passed. It felt like an eternity; a never-ending numbness that stretched on. The only thing that accompanied her numbness was the mental image of Erwin and her daughters. It swirled in her head, unable to be dispelled.

She hadn't appeared before Ivy since their last meeting. She was too afraid to know—too afraid to witness the sin and too afraid she was unable to bear the loss. How could this sin be paid?

"How long are you going to lie there?"

Elsie jerked at the sudden voice. Someone else was here? The voice held a sense of familiarity to it, but she couldn't put her finger on where she had heard it before.

Then, it dawned on her.

She sucked in a breath and pushed herself off the floor. Slowly, as if afraid it would only be her imagination, she turned her head to the side. Sure enough, Elsie caught sight of one person she had desperately fought for years to meet with.

"Odina…"

It had to be.

There was no way she would forget about that face, the voice, the soft clinking of her wooden bangles that followed her whenever she moved. Elsie had only seen her once, right after she inherited her Titan, but she would never forget that beautiful face.

Odina's soft red curls swayed though there was no wind.

"Erwin Smith has died."

Her face drained of color and she froze over. And she waited. Elsie waited for the sorrow, the heart-wrenching grief, but none came. Perhaps, she had known all these while he was gone. Perhaps, the numbness she was feeling all this while was realizing he was truly dead.

"But Ida and Ivy are still alive."

Elsie looked back at her, dazed out of her mind. Nothing but grief adorned her face. "Why are you telling me this? Why are you appearing only now...? All my life, I've tried to reach you… why only now?"

Maybe today, maybe in death, all her questions would finally be answered.

"I've come to make a proposition to you. It's time for you to return to the paths," Odina only said simply. "You have been maintaining autonomy for far too long."

Her fingers clenched around the sand beneath her to keep them from trembling. Elsie understood what Odina wanted. The Devil was demanding something akin to her soul—she wanted to control her.

Odina nodded glumly when she noticed her cautiousness. "Of course, you can choose not to. But you understand, don't you? You feel it. You are losing yourself. Soon you wouldn't be able to fight me any longer—all things must return to their position naturally. It is the law of nature."

She frowned. The Devil was speaking the truth. Elsie knew she would not hold for long. Oftentimes, she could feel the pull, a sensation of sorts that threatened to render her unconscious whenever Ivy tried to access her memories. Jaron had told her that Titan Shifters generally pass on their memories to their inheritors, but she had forcibly prevented it by sheer willpower alone.

"Why are you asking me then?" Elsie said icily. "You control us—every single descendent has to bend to your will."

The Devil chuckled, but it wasn't one of arrogance, it was solemn, sad even. "Indeed... I maintain this place and I have the power here…"

Odina moved her right hand in a graceful manner. Then, as if appearing behind her, figures started to materialize out of thin air. Elsie didn't know how many, she couldn't count, but soon, she was surrounded with unfamiliar faces.

A gasp of horror escaped her.

Red hair, green eyes…

She knew who they were.

Elsie clasped her mouth as she took in the faces of her ancestors. Her breath hitched in her throat when spotted someone that was deadly familiar to her in a sea of strangers—a face that brought forth a mixed bag of emotions.

"J—Jaron…?"

Standing among the sea of Starkes, her brother was wearing the same outfit on the day she killed him. He looked alive, well even. Even in death, Jaron was handsome, gallant, and cruel. What changed were his eyes. She used to tremble underneath his stern gaze, but his eyes were hollow now—blank, as though his soul had disappeared.

"What you see here is every past awakened Starke." Odina placed a graceful long finger underneath Jaron's chin and lifted his head up. "This one is your twin brother, is he not?"

Anger imploded within her when she saw Odina next to him.

"How can you do this?!" Elsie shrieked from the floor. "You! You are the reason why he went mad! Why nearly half of the Starkes went mad! You controlled my brother—you led him down this road of insanity—"

"I did not control him," Odina interrupted coldly. "Jaron like many others has chosen their own fates. I have power over them, that is true, but that is when they die and return to me… to my paths."

The Devil swept away from Jaron, her long loose white dress making her look even more ethereal as the soft fabric moved with her.

"You've always wondered this, so I'll tell you. Every awakened Starke carries a part of me—of my powers, that's why their connection to me is so strong." Her green eyes turned cold. "Naturally, when they die, they return to me and my jurisdiction. It has been that way for centuries. This is the basis of our awakening that connects all past ancestors to an awakened Starke. This is my will."

Odina pursed her lips. "But you are the exception now. Because you're not an awakened Starke, you shouldn't be able to come here. "

"What…?"

"But you are the first Starke Titan in our long history—in fact, your very existence materialized this place into something physical." Odina smiled serenely and gazed at the aurora in the sky. "Just like how Ymir lives in the Founding Titan—I live here..."

Elsie shook her head, not understanding. "I… I created this place? Is... that why I'm unable to come here after my death even though I am not an awakened Starke?"

"Not exactly. It's more so because you were once a Titan." The Devil pointed to her chest. "And that's what makes you different and special. Because you also carry a part of Ymir, part of her powers. After all, this place is most likely a replica of Ymir's own paths."

Elsie narrowed her eyes and waited for her to elaborate, which she did.

"Truthfully, you were supposed to return to Ymir, as all Titans Shifters do, but because you carry my blood—you came here instead… to me." Odina's eyes grew gentle. "Alas, I failed to foresee that because Ymir's power dwelled within you once... it gave you autonomy here to act on your own… you see, her powers and mine clashes."

Hope surged through Elsie. Clashes? Did this mean that she would be able to retain her consciousness? Her soul, even?

As though reading to her mind, the Devil smirked bitterly, eager to dash her hopes.

"But the more Ivy uses her Titan, the more the remnants of Ymir's power will drain out of you and to her." Yellow streaks appeared in Odina's green eyes, and she knew it was a warning. "And then… I will be free to control you as I please."

Elsie clutched her chest, terror waltzing through her. "I won't let you have my memories. I won't."

"May I ask why?"

"Ivy can never know about anything—not about the Starkes, not about the Walls! You know what they are planning! She is with Marley! They might even kill everyone on Paradis! Do you not care?! You created the Titans; you are responsible for your people's misery!"

Odina's gaze lingered on her, yet she remained emotionless, "I will not deny that. However, you seem to think of me as your enemy."

"You are the Devil! You cursed even your own descendants!"

"Yes," Odina said simply. "I did that as well."

Elsie was incredulous at her nonchalance. How could she look so unbothered? "Why?!"

"For the greater good of this world."

Elsie's eyes thinned. She tried to analyze Odina's expression for some traces of lies, but her face was devoid of emotions. But there was something in the way she said it, something in the baritones of her words that got her thinking twice and doubting herself. She wasn't lying.

"To repent for our sins, sacrifices have to be made." Odina appeared conflicted as she gazed at her. "I do not find joy in forcing one of my own. But if you return to my will, to my paths, I will show you everything and you will understand."

Elsie didn't move at Odina's proposition. There was too much at stake. "Are you going to give my memories to Ivy?"

"Yes, I plan to do that."

Elsie frowned, unable to wrap her head around where this conversation was heading. Why was the Devil confirming it so easily? Odina knew, didn't she? The reason why she was so adamant about keeping her memories from Ivy.

Because, eventually, if Ivy learned everything… she would seek Ida out.

It was to Odina's benefit to lie to her. She might've even believed in her lies.

So why...?

"You could've just given Jaron's memories to Ivy. Wouldn't that be easier? He knows much more than me. Why do you need me?"

"Ivy isn't an awakened Starke, Elsie."

Elsie clenched her jaw angrily. Now, she understood.

Ivy wasn't an awakened Starke—even though she was a Titan now, like her, she wouldn't be able to channel the Will of Odina to inherit the memories of their ancestors. Odina couldn't pass on any memories to Ivy, just as she couldn't pass them to her when she was alive. But there is a loophole now. She was the loophole.

The Devil was planning to use a Titan's natural memory inheritance to slowly transfer her memories to Ivy.

It was a plot befitting of the one who carried the title of the Devil on Earth.

"I have lived a long time, wandering this place…" Odina murmured, misery devouring her eyes that had returned to their original green state. "I've watched every single of one of you… but the time has come, the time is right. You have to fulfill your destiny, Elsie."

Elsie opted for another question. "Why... does Ivy need to know this?"

"Because she is the other half of Ida and this is her destiny."

She shook her head, unable to accept that simple answer. "No..."

"I know how hard things have been for you, how hard you desperately tried to reach me. I too have tried to meet you, but circumstances of our powers prevented it. But I have watched you the entire time, being used by your brother and to think all these times, he refused to tell you anything… how very cruel of him, no? Believe me when I say I know your pain, Elsie. I can understand you and I'm truly sorry for everything."

Odina smiled dryly as Elsie inhaled a shuddering breath.

"But you have already died. Worthlessly, pitifully, tragically... unable to change anything. Love is a fickle thing, and worthless to live for. But there is something bigger than that. Destiny. And yours is not up yet. Do not rebel against it anymore, Elsie. You've spent your entire life doing it. Embrace it now and follow me." She paused. "Do it for your children."

Elsie didn't reply; she couldn't bring herself to reply.

Lies they were, they had to be lies.

But...

"I can offer you something else—I can offer you the peaceful world you wanted for your children and I can offer you answers. I have no reason to lie to you. You know it deep within you, the answers were never as simple as others made it out to be."

Odina seemed to sense that she was close to convincing her. Again, she extended her hand out for her to take.

"I am not your enemy. Let me help you."

She was not supposed to trust this woman. Her cryptic words should not have swayed her. Odina had the face of an Angel and the enticing voice of the Devil that led her astray. If Erwin or Ida were with her, they would've forced her aside long before the conversation had progressed to this extent—there was too much at risk, this might even trigger the start of a full-fledged war.

But that was the point.

Erwin was not with her, and neither was her children. She had lost everything and she was tired. Like Odina reminded, she had failed miserably in her lifetime. She had paid the price for running away from her destiny and now she was dead. Soon, whether she liked it or not—she too would have to bend to Odina's will.

And so, just as destiny had proclaimed, Elsie hesitantly reached out and grasped the proffered hand.

The Devil's touch was like frostbites that gnawed her skin. Like an illusion, the Devil's green eyes gleamed with yellow.

And slowly, Elsie Starke allowed her eyes to close and embraced the intangible darkness that stretched on for eternity.

Finally at peace.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

"What—"

Zeke frowned when a loud crash came from behind him. Along with the other Marleyan officer he was conversing with at the docks, he whirled around to see Ivy staggering to them. Her wounds were still regenerating at a slow pace, limbs barely healed. Zeke was surprised she was even standing.

"What is she doing out here?!" an Officer shouted. "Take her back in! We're departing soon!"

"Zeke-san…" Ivy slurred, obviously delirious. "Zeke-san…. I..."

He only gaped at her. It astounded him how Ivy was even conscious. She should've been knocked out like Reiner after overextending her Titan powers. It would be days before she recuperated fully. Tripping on her footing, Ivy crashed into the boxes by the sides again, this time falling flat to the ground.

The Officer beside him grimaced. "Argh… to think we are entrusting our Titans to you lot."

He swooped in to ease the situation. "Sir, let me bring her in. I'll handle her."

The Officer grunted and gestured him away. "Yeah, yeah, take the lunatic and get back to the ship. I don't need any more unnecessary crap, you hear? You guys have done enough damage as it is."

Zeke bowed his head and rushed to her. Beads of sweat dripped down her temples as she slurred deliriously in his arms, "Zeke-san… I saw…"

He simply ignored her and boarded the ship. Zeke wondered what had gotten into her to suddenly seek him out when she was in this condition. Was this another one of her breakdowns again? Good riddance. With their recent failure, he had enough on his plate as it is.

"Elsie…"

The name that left Ivy's lips arrested his undying interest. Suddenly, with a spur of force, Ivy grabbed onto his shirt and gasped loudly, "I did it… I saw… some of her memories…"

"What?" Zeke stopped and stared at her, mystified by what she was saying. They had tried so many times to access Elsie's memories, Ivy had even said it was futile.

Did she really…?

Intrigued, he pressed on eagerly, "What did you see?"

"My mother… Grisha… "

Ivy's breaths grew cumbersome. Her green eyes rolled back and her body went limp.

"...Of children…"

---

And that is a wrap for RTS arc! Lady of the Starkes arc is next, and yes, it falls within the time skip and 100% all original material so I'm really excited about it woohoo! I realize I don't tend to stray much from the canon's rules, mainly because well… I want to preserve AOT world for its psychological themes. Honestly, I wrote for this fandom only because I was enamored by the brutal themes of it. There's a human beauty to it, no matter how cruel (I realize I focus a lot on the emotions of the characters too, welp, I wanted them to feel human but I may have overdone it). Changes will come though, obviously!

Also, what are your thoughts on Odina?

Thank you for being so patient and kind with me. On a side note, I got engaged recently! Things are getting busy! I hope that everyone remains safe and in good health. Thank you for reading. Updates for next chapter on my profile!