'You say the darkness in you, echoes the darkness in me. But before you entered my life that was a secret I kept well buried away from the cold light of day.'
Bonnie had taken to meditating regularly. Kol had explained that it was important to understand nature rather than just using it as she had been doing. It was difficult to wrap her head around sometimes that her magic was for more than just saving her friends but she was working on it. Learning how to better understand nature's own wants and needs, as a witch should. As well as understanding the flow of magic that came with it.
"There you are." A familiar voice shocked her out of her thoughts then. "I was knocking for a good ten minutes and thought you were ignoring me when I saw your car in the drive but you didn't answer."
Bonnie struggled to orient herself for a moment, dazed after being pulled out of her meditative state unexpectedly. When she did come back to herself though it was to note that Caroline had wandered down the side of her Grams' house to the backyard and was now standing sheepishly before her. Bonnie blinked owlishly at her for a moment. It had been a little over two weeks since everything at the Salvatore's and honestly, Bonnie hadn't seen anything changing between the girls any time soon. She'd almost come to terms with it.
"I'm sorry about Elena." Caroline started, bringing Bonnie back to the present. "And I'm sorry for not coming by sooner. I needed some time to wrap my head around things and I figured you'd need time too. But I'm ready to listen now."
She plopped down on the grass next to Bonnie and then looked at her with a mixture of genuine regret and expectedness.
Bonnie stared at Caroline uncertainly for a moment. She didn't know where to begin, what to even say to the blonde. It had hurt seeing her best friends turn their backs on her with such ease. Had hurt further still when Matt had been on her side without a moment's hesitation, hadn't even needed to hear her reasons before he believed her.
She'd thought she was closer with the girls than that.
"Matt said you told him." Was the first thing she said instead of addressing everything between them, the chasm that Bonnie had become aware of that stretched between the three of them these past few weeks but had been there ever since their lives had been turned upside down by the supernatural.
Caroline flashed her an apologetic smile, "He'd wanted to know what was going on with us at school so I told him the Salvatores thought you'd turned your backs on us for the Mikaelsons. But I know that can't be the case, but I don't know what's going on either, Bon."
"It's complicated Care. Really. But I haven't jumped ship for the Mikaelsons, I still can't stand the rest of them and want to get rid of Klaus. But things are complicated with Kol. The psychic dreams I have about him are happening for a reason and I need to figure them out, nothing more nothing less." Bonnie explained tiredly as she picked at the grass.
She didn't expect Caroline to accept her lame explanation, she certainly wouldn't. It didn't really explain anything at all but it really was all she could offer her. Things were complicated with Kol and she didn't even know where to begin to explain them to Caroline.
Besides Kol had spent a thousand years trying to hide her reincarnations from the supernatural community, was she really going to undo all that work at a moment's notice for a friend that might turn her back on Bonnie again? She wasn't sure what the answer was to that one. So until she understood what was going on herself, she was keeping mum about it.
"Okay."
Bonnie's head whipped round to gape at Caroline. She hadn't expected that.
Caroline rolled her eyes, "Don't look so surprised. Look, of course, I'd wished you'd told me before I had to hear about it from Damon, but I'm hardly one to talk about complicated relationships with the Mikaelsons. I hate them, for the most part. But then Klaus can be really sweet with me in a way that is endlessly confusing especially with everything to do with Tyler. And Elena can hardly judge either. It seems no matter what they do, Elena will always be team Salvatore. Let's not forget that Stefan tried to kill her not that long ago and Damon tried to rip your throat out and he's killed Jeremy and Alaric."
"And everything Damon did to you." Bonnie pointed out when it became clear that the blonde wasn't going to mention the worst of Damon's offenses.
Bonnie had never understood how Elena could forgive Damon for that but she'd put up with Damon for Elena's sake. In hindsight, she should have lit Damon's arse on fire that night at the carnival and tried to keep Elena alive by herself. Their plans always hinged on her anyway so it wouldn't have made any difference really. But she didn't have to lie to herself about the Salvatores anymore. She'd tolerated them for Elena's sake but in reality, the girl was a bit of a hypocrite.
Caroline shook her head, dismissing her point, not wanting to talk about that low point of her life. "My point is. That Elena can make all these speeches about the Mikaelsons being evil because of what they've done and who they've tried to kill, but it's nothing the Salvatores haven't done too. And she still defends them and she has no problem trusting Elijah. But Kol hasn't done anything untoward yet and if we were all to blame for our family's actions where would we be?"
"Well, most of our parents abandoned us," Bonnie commented wryly.
Her mother had upped and left when she was three, her dad was never home, Caroline's mum worked all the time, her dad hadn't been around (only coming back to town to torture her), and Elena's birth parents had been her Uncle John - with whom she'd always had a tumultuous relationship - and her mother Isabelle had turned into a cold-hearted vampire bitch, more interested in the supernatural than being a parent.
"Exactly," Caroline responded with forced joviality before falling back into the serious tone of before. "I trust your judgment in this, Bon more than I trust anyone else's in this town. If you think you can trust Kol even slightly then I will back you up. Even when I don't understand it."
Bonnie smiled weakly at her, hugging her knees. It was more than she'd hoped for, she'd expected Caroline to demand explanations for her behavior. But she should have known Caroline would never put her on trial like that. Being a vampire had changed her for the better.
Bonnie took a deep breath then, preparing herself for what she was about to ask. There was something that had been nagging at her ever since one of Solavita's dreams had occurred but she hadn't wanted to do it on her own. Though before today, that had seemed her only option.
"In that case, I need to ask a favor."
~x~
Bonnie stood anxiously outside the door preparing to knock for what, she noted with an internal bitterly ironic laugh, was the second time. But this time it was Caroline at her side rather than Elena. And she was doing this for herself rather than for the Salvatores' latest plot. That thought had her knocking before she could talk herself out of it.
"Are you sure about this Bon?" Caroline asked from her side.
Bonnie had explained in the car that she'd let Abby go home when they'd been unable to open the coffin, too drained for either of them to perform the spell with any kind of accuracy. Caroline had been supportive of her decision from the moment she'd realized. Evidently, she felt she needed to make up for the last few weeks of doubt.
"Positive." She answered just as the door swung up to reveal her mother.
"Bonnie." Her mother was just as surprised to see her on her front porch as Bonnie was to be there. "I didn't think I'd be seeing you again so soon after what happened. Did you need my help with the spell?"
She seemed more willing to help than before, Bonnie was glad now that they'd left on better terms. Things had been strained at first, more so after Bonnie had snapped at her that the spirits had wanted her there and it was her that was making excuses. They'd worked towards repairing their relationship after that. They knew they'd likely never be on good terms but civil was something they could manage and aim for.
"Actually I'm here to see you. I have some questions if that's okay."
"Uh yeah, you best come in."
Here goes nothing, Bonnie thought to herself.
"Can I get you something to drink?" Abby asked as they got settled at her kitchen table after introductions on Caroline's behalf. "Tea maybe?"
"We're okay thanks." Bonnie smiled tightly.
This was going to be awkward she knew, but she needed to know. Abby shifted restlessly for a moment, uncertain what to do now that she didn't have drink preparation to distract herself with. Bonnie would wager she didn't get a lot of guests. Especially not abandoned daughters coming to ask for favors.
"What did you want to know?" She asked, coming back to herself after a moment.
"This is probably a little weird, but did you have any visions when you were pregnant with me?" Bonnie asked tentatively, already afraid of the dismissal she thought was coming. The possibility had been playing on her mind ever since she'd seen it in her dreams. It was very likely that it was only Solavita's mother that had suffered from visions, as she was the first reincarnation but better to be safe than sorry.
Judging by the way Abby paled at her question though, she may have hit the nail on the head.
"How did you know about that? I never told anyone."
"Abby please." She couldn't explain herself - the explanation more convoluted than they had time for - but she needed answers regardless.
Abby took a deep breath to steady herself before collapsing into a chair opposite them.
"I didn't get a lot of psychic dreams, I wasn't like you in that regard so that only terrified me more. And they didn't make a lot of sense, more like psychic impressions than visions but I dreamt of an ancient sort of magic following you. And when Mikael came to town looking for Elena I felt it again, I thought by getting rid of him I was saving you too. That whatever I'd felt that was coming for you while pregnant, had been dealt with. But when we were working on the coffin I felt it again and I realized I'd left for nothing. I hadn't kept you safe from anything."
Bonnie felt the blood drain from her own face at that. The last time she'd been here she'd accused her mother of having abandoned not only her family but her best friend too. And all that time Abby truly had thought she'd done the right thing. She'd been trying to protect her.
"You have to realize Bonnie that I never wanted this. I hated having magic, I wasn't as adept at it as the others of our bloodline, I wanted nothing to do with it. But your Grams was insistent. I thought if she knew about the visions she'd further push me to master my magic in a way I'd never managed before. But that changed after you were born. You showed signs of strong magic immediately, she was ecstatic. Then you set your crib on fire." Abby's voice was grave as she explained. "You were still so tiny when it happened, I'd never seen your Grams terrified of magic before that. But she'd agreed with me then and she cast a spell that would help bind it."
"She blocked my magic?" Bonnie questioned, brows furrowed. That didn't make sense, her Grams had been telling her she was a witch long before her powers had manifested. But then again, according to her mom, her powers had manifested immediately.
Abby shook her head, "No, she didn't block them. It just made them dormant so that the magic would release slowly without overwhelming you or keeping you disconnected from nature. I hadn't left thinking you were in any danger, as far as I knew I'd done all that I could to keep you safe. And when my magic left me, I knew I couldn't be any more help to you. Your magic was too strong. I never would have been able to help you to control it."
Bonnie swallowed back the words she wanted to say then. Wanted to shout that she'd had no one to help her instead. But they'd done this bit already and it wasn't what she'd come here for today. She'd gotten her answers after all.
Her mother had had visions just as Solavita's had and her magic had been strong enough to put her life in danger. That was all she needed to know really.
"I know." She said smiling weakly instead.
~x~
Bonnie was surprised to find the light on when she'd arrived at the Martin's, dim as the lamp was, it was definitely on. She'd wanted space after getting back from seeing Abby, a request Caroline had been quick to acquiesce to after she'd promised to call if there was anything. She'd known no one would find her here and she could burrow herself in magic tomes in distraction. She needed time to think about Abby's revelations and Rebekah's own warnings. Obviously, her plans had been thwarted.
"Kol?" She asked in confusion, noting the familiar figure sprawled in the corner armchair as she dumped her bag on the floor. "What are you doing here?"
Kol looked up from the grimoire he'd been reading with an amused quirk of the lips and a nonchalant shrug.
"I'm not familiar with this town and I wanted to get away from Nik. While he has designed us a very nice prison, I'm not all that fond of being confined after over a century in a box." He smiled glibly.
He tossed the grimoire down onto a pile beside his armchair as he stretched his legs out in front of him. His gaze swept over her figure as he regarded her. Bonnie ignored his stares as she headed for the bookshelves to pick up the first grimoire that caught her attention.
"I wasn't aware we were having a magical lesson today." He spoke lightly, deliberately not probing.
Bonnie shrugged as she sat cross-legged on the floor with her chosen grimoire.
"I just fancied a change of scenery." Was her feeble excuse.
"I see."
He didn't say anything else but Bonnie could tell he was waiting on her to explain. She'd gradually gotten better at reading him and there was no mistaking the patient yet expectant tone he was using. And she fully intended to tell him, no one else had the answers she needed, let alone would understand. But she just needed a moment to organize her thoughts.
"Do you know if any of the other reincarnation's mothers suffered from visions before they were born?"
If Kol was surprised by her question he didn't show it. Merely shrugging lazily.
"Not that I'm aware of. It never seemed relevant to ask. Why?"
His patience was waning now which was fine because she needed a push to get out what she wanted to say.
"I went to see my mom today. She said she'd had visions about ancient magic before I was born and had mistaken it for the magic around Mikael and the coffin separately." She shrugged lamely, aiming for unbothered but too tired and drained from the day's revelations to commit to it.
Kol pondered this for a moment, "I suppose it makes sense. Mikael was an Original vampire; the magic that surrounds him and myself is similar enough. Your mother must have recognized Ayana and Eira's combined magic that bound the coffin as being the same that reincarnated you. Understandable that she'd get confused by the two."
Bonnie looked up from the grimoire she'd been blankly staring at to scrutinize Kol. He seemed truthful enough, she had no reason to doubt him but she felt more lost now than she had this morning. Very little made sense to her anymore. When she thought she understood the world around her she found the rug being pulled out from under her feet again. And the only person she could trust to orientate her in this new world was Kol.
"What else did she say?" He asked softly, pushing her once more to say what she wanted to when she couldn't say it by herself.
"She said my Grams bound my magic to remain almost dormant, only releasing gradually, after I set my crib on fire."
Kol nodded, a faraway glaze settling over his gaze as he considered this.
"Solavita's mother cast anchoring charms on her to solve the very same issue. But a slow-release binding spell would have been both more effective and logical in that regard."
Bonnie hadn't seen that in any of her dreams, perhaps it was something Kol had learned through questioning Angelsia. Her brows furrowed as something occurred to her.
"You never mentioned that before. Did their magic overwhelm all of them?"
Kol tilted his head to the side in consideration. And suddenly Bonnie wished the room wasn't so dim so she could catch those microexpressions that she knew were flitting across Kol's face behind his carefully constructed mask right now.
"Renata's magic was powerful, had been from birth. My own was strong but hers was more so. As for the others, they often found it overwhelming and would siphon part of it off into a talisman to be more manageable."
"I thought you and Renata were equally matched?" That much she had seen in her dreams.
Kol considered this, face twisting as he tried to find the best way to explain himself.
"Sort of. We had different strengths when it came to our magic. So while we were both powerful, and Renata had an edge that I didn't, our weaknesses didn't overlap. So where she fell short in one area, I exceeded, and the same for her."
Bonnie nodded, though she had the oddest feeling that Kol was underplaying how powerful he had been. It would make sense though, the more powerful he'd been the greater he'd have felt that loss after transitioning.
"If I'm so powerful why did I need to channel a hundred witches to end your brother?"
Kol's lips twitched briefly in amusement at the mention of her trying to kill Klaus before his expression settled back into something more serious.
"Your magic was just starting to settle after being bound for over a decade and a half, you weren't at your full potential yet. And if you'd tried to take Nik on without their help you would have surely died. So it's a good thing your magic hadn't made itself known earlier."
Bonnie sighed, "Suppose you're right."
"I usually am." Kol retorted smugly, to which Bonnie threw a crystal at his head in response. Kol only laughed as he caught the crystal before it could do any damage. Damn vampire reflexes.
Just then Kol's phone rang, quickly followed by an eye roll from the owner as he dug the device out.
"You know as much as I marvel at the technological advancements that have been made, I must say I find it a pain in the arse to be quite so easily contactable when that's exactly what I'm trying to avoid." He grumbled vehemently before answering. "Nik! What can I do for you?" Kol's voice shifted to an obviously false jovial tone, which its entire purpose seemed to be to irritate.
Kol fell silent as he listened to his brother's response, his tone taking on a taunting tone when he spoke again.
"I wasn't aware you were my keeper, brother. Mikael is dead and I'm unkillable, I see no reason to inform you when I'm going out for a bite to eat."
Bonnie tuned out the conversation to consider everything she'd learned today about her own magic as well as Rebekah's warnings about Kol. It was bizarre to think she didn't even know herself let alone her dozen other-selves. Though she supposed she better get used to it. Especially if she couldn't continue to rely on Kol.
~x~
Her magic was fading. The increase in power and the element of instability that had marked her magic for months was easing. As it became more stable, its power also began to diminish and that was something she simply couldn't allow. She hadn't recognized the vampire on sight and for that, she had failed. For that had been the tipping point of all of this.
One moment of measly weakness and he'd sunk his claws into her. For that alone she would destroy him, banish him from this very plane to restore the balance. But for that, a greater sacrifice was needed. Animal sacrifices just weren't cutting it anymore she had to aim higher. She would need access to greater magic if she was to accomplish such a feat. Stronger and darker magic.
Human sacrifice would have to do the trick. The spirits would have to allow it. They wanted the vampires gone too. Such darkness could not be allowed to persist and as such, she'd have to tap into her own darkness to accomplish such a feat. Her soul was a worthy cost to pay for such a noble endeavor. As well as the lives of others. She felt no remorse over what she had to do to build her powers to take on the Original.
It was right. What she was doing, was right. Vampires could not be allowed to roam freely; they upset the balance and caused unknown chaos. She was saving hundreds of lives by sacrificing a few. She had to remain strong in that belief because if she didn't, she wouldn't have the strength to do what she knew she needed to do next. Her conviction would give her the courage she needed.
Black magic, sacrificial magic, and voodoo were only the start of the kind of forces she'd need to draw upon to kill an Original. She was a witch, a servant of nature and as such, she had the power to do what was necessary to correct any imbalances in nature. She could and would kill an Original.
But to do so she would need to tap into expression. She would sacrifice her very soul to destroy this monster.
~x~
Something about the Livina dreams left Bonnie wary and on edge. Both in herself and in regards to Kol. The idea that she was capable of such madness frightened her particularly because she knew it was just the tip of the iceberg. Knew that it must have spiraled much further from that which she had seen thus far. That Kol had been the driving force behind that madness scared her, particularly in light of Rebekah's reminder about the kind of monster she was dealing with. She wasn't an idiot, of course, she'd known. But she'd allowed herself to forget.
Allowed him to lull her into a false sense of security against her better judgment because she had no one else. And while it would be so easy to solely place the blame at Kol's feet she knew she couldn't. She knew she was as much to blame for allowing herself to get swept up in him. Allowing herself to be lulled into the false sense of security he was creating for her. She was not a fool, she had known that all of his careful wording had been intentional on his part not to scare her off. She had known and had ignored it regardless.
That was perhaps what was most dangerous about Kol. It wasn't that he was a monster, but rather that he was so good at making you forget that he was. He coaxed you in with his smile and charm but before you knew it, there were fangs in your neck and a heartbeat between his teeth. And while that hadn't been Bonnie's fate yet, she couldn't disregard the possibility as she had with so much else when it came to Kol.
But there was something else nagging at her, something beyond the stupidity of forgetting about how dangerous Kol was. It was the knowledge of what Livina had done. The worry that that same monster lived within her. After all, were they not one and the same? They shared the same soul after all. The very one that Livina had been willing to sacrifice for her cause.
She still didn't really understand how different they were, her and her other-selves. If there were any differences at all. Kol had tried to explain it to some degree and she hadn't been willing to ask further questions, not wanting to know the truth either way, afraid of what the answer might be. But that was not her biggest concern right now.
She needed to find Kol.
~x~
Bonnie wasn't sure how the bond worked on Kol's end neither he nor her dreams had cleared that up for her thus far, perhaps because he thought it was obvious, but Bonnie knew on most days if she concentrated on her end she could follow the magic that bound them together to him. She wondered if that was how Kol always found her but she still wasn't entirely clear as to whether that was intentional on his part or not. Whether it was the bond or merely an instinctual aspect of his vampirism.
Kol was glaring at his phone as he headed to his car when she found him, looking as though he'd just come from the grill. Bonnie hesitated for a moment when she spotted him, it was a little more public than she'd like, knew the Salvatores were still watching her but she was so beyond caring what other people thought of her when her head was already so full of so many different hers to care about anyone else as well.
"Hey, I've been looking for you." She eventually stepped towards him, worries about what the others would think, pushed to the back of her mind. Her tone was more pleasant than usual which Kol seemed to take note of if the way his eyes were assessing her when he snapped up to look at her was anything to go by.
"Magic lessons?" He queried, his response carefully controlled but she could tell he was confused and more than a little distracted.
"Nope." Was all she said in response as she stepped closer still to join him at his car.
He looked amused now, "Well color me intrigued little witch. I've got an errand to run for Elijah but you are more than welcome to join."
The invitation was carefully extended as it always was with Kol, the implication clear that she was under no pressure to accept nor refuse him. But the knowledge that he was being careful with her once more told her all that she needed to know. He was trying not to scare her away which meant she should probably see this through because if she didn't, she was going to miss out on some of those answers that he was reluctant to give. So despite Rebekah's warning/threat lingering in her thoughts, she did the opposite of what she knew she should do.
"I've got no other plans." She smiled as she slipped into the passenger seat before she could debate the logic of this decision. She wondered if he knew that her added enthusiasm was just as carefully gaged as his delicate wording. They were both pretending to be more than they were because they wanted something from the other. Bonnie knew she wanted answers from Kol but she still couldn't tell what he wanted from her after all this time.
Kol chuckled at her response as he joined her in the car.
Conversation was cautiously polite for most of the drive. Neither outwardly acknowledging the way they were tiptoeing around something. But eventually, Bonnie's curiosity gets the better of her.
"So what exactly are you doing for Elijah?"
"Elijah has some business with a vampire that he needs me to see to." Came Kol's careful response.
It was so obvious now that she was aware of it, now that she was no longer ignoring it and allowing herself to be pacified by his words. The way he carefully stepped around her questions and maneuvered her so as not to chase her away. And okay maybe she'd never been passive exactly, but she'd been more accepting than she should have been, she reasoned with herself.
"What sort of business and why did he send you to deal with it?" She probed again.
Bonnie caught the brief flicker of irritation that passed over Kol's face at her continued questioning.
The difficult thing about Kol was that she wanted to ignore what he really was and to rely on him in the way that he kept coaxing her to do so. Not just because of his understanding of magic or because she had no one else but because he was the only one she could rely on. The only one that knew what was going on. But there was also another part of Bonnie that resented herself for wanting that, the part that had shunned Caroline when she'd first turned, the part that didn't want anything to do with the Salvatores.
She couldn't rationalize where the divide came from, it wasn't an issue she'd had before. Her conscience had always been clear. She'd accepted Caroline because she wasn't a monster, she didn't kill unless in self-defense. And accepting the Salvatores had never been about her, only ever about Elena. This was new and selfish. And that put her on edge around him more so than what he actually was.
"I need to talk to someone who's reluctant to talk." He shrugged as if that was all and as if that would get Bonnie to stop asking.
But she couldn't. She couldn't remain ignorant anymore. Especially not with such ominous words hanging in the air. She had little illusions about just how Kol might get this person to talk. She just needed to know why he was doing this for Elijah.
"That's not really what I asked." She shot back firmly, regarding him carefully from where she was leaning back in the passenger seat.
"He's supposed to be collecting information for Elijah about one of his sires but he's refusing to relay what he's learned." He spoke through gritted teeth now, clearly, he wasn't happy about her continuing to push.
"You still haven't explained why you. If it's about Elijah's sires, why is it your problem?"
"If there's something you want to know, just ask darling."
"I am asking, what are you going to do?"
"I'm going to make him talk however I have to, little witch. I have a particular reputation for being volatile and that's why Elijah sent me, this person is more likely to talk when he can't predict my actions. I have made no attempts to hide what I am so I don't understand why the sudden questions." Kol snapped, irritation visible now, no longer being carefully concealed to the best of his ability but laid raw for her to see.
Bonnie found herself transported back to that day on her Grams' porch when Kol had come seeking a truce but they'd ended up snarling in each other's faces. She knew she should choose her words carefully when faced with that same irritation but just as then, she couldn't. She didn't have exhaustion to blame it on this time. But every time she hesitated her magic would push her to act.
"That's what Rebekah said about you." Another flicker of emotion but this time not directed at her as he twisted back around to face the road, a muscle jumping in his jaw. "That you'd destroyed whole villages because of it."
"She's not entirely wrong if that's what you're really asking."
"You told me I was right not to trust vampires but that I could trust you, yet you haven't told me anything about who you really are."
"I'm the same person I've always been." His words were weighted carefully with the intention of making her recall the man from Renata's memories. "I won't apologize for what I am. Vampires are predators, it's as simple as that."
"That's bullshit, don't pretend you have no control over it. I know you have some choice in the matter."
Kol let out a bitter laugh, "What? Because of your little friends? The baby vampire and the Salvatores that also might as well also be?" His grip flexed on the steering wheel, it was a sudden reminder of just where they were. "It's not the same as being an Original, the impulses are stronger and impossible to ignore, especially after a stint with a dagger."
It made sense to Bonnie in a way that she wanted to ignore, so pushing down the feeling, she pressed on.
"And I'm just supposed to believe that, am I? As if we aren't on our way to torture someone."
Kol rolled his eyes as if he wasn't even aware of the action, "We are a direct result of the spell of vampirism; the effects are stronger than those of diluted blood, the same as we have additional perks. We are the first of our kind and each represents the different variations present in vampirism."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" She frowned at him perplexed.
Kol rolled his head back against the headrest to look at her with a blank look.
"Vampirism heightens what's already there but also latches on to different things and twists them. There were six Original vampires and despite being family we each reacted to the spell differently." He turned back around to face the road when he spoke again his words were carefully measured once more. "Have you ever lost your magic?"
It wasn't just the surprising question that caused her to jolt, even though she hadn't been expecting Kol to say that, but rather the memory of Jonah Martin taking her magic from her after Luka's death. She'd never experienced pain like that. To be so suddenly wholly cut off from nature especially after having only just come into her powers had been a harrowing experience. She'd felt almost hollow inside without her magic there to warm her, constantly tired without her power flowing through her veins rejuvenating her. It was as though she'd lost a limb. As though she'd been sapped of her very life force.
It wasn't an experience she wanted to remember.
"Yes. Once." Came her short reply.
Kol didn't send her a curious look as he normally would have and as she expected. Instead, his expression remained stony as he stared at the road unseeingly.
"It's an unpleasant experience as you know. But you cannot be both witch and a vampire, a punishment from nature for turning your back on the nature you once served, to become something abominable. Witches turned vampires often end up being the most vicious and bloodthirsty vampires if they even complete the transition, second only to rippers. As a witch, your instincts are driven by nature and the spirits. You experience thrills from performing magic, that is where the contentment comes from. As a vampire, you are driven by a predatory nature.
"I didn't have any choice about completing the transition. I was suddenly cut off from my magic and then had my soul torn in two by Renata's death and every instinct that had been suppressed suddenly bubbled to the surface. Cut off from magic, dealing with a broken soul bond and the heightened predatory instincts of a newly turned vampire didn't make for the most rational of baby vampires."
Bonnie shifted uncomfortably in her seat at his words. She hadn't truly considered what losing his magic and his soul bond at the same time might have done to Kol before. And to have it laid out so clearly to her was a little daunting and terrifying. But she couldn't stop now, that was why she'd held back before and it had done no good.
"You're a thousand years old and you're telling me you've never adapted?"
"I just woke up from a century-long dagger nap and a shattered soul bond. Every time you wake from the dagger it's like being put back at square one and I don't think I need to explain the soul bond to you, do I?" His words were spiteful but so was she.
Her eyes narrowed, "That simple, is it? You have predatory instincts so you have to be a monster?"
Kol let out another bitter laugh.
"You act as though vampires are the only killers. When werewolves have to kill to trigger the gene and will tear apart any living thing they come across when shifted. Humans are hardly exempt from murder, even if it isn't as common to be taught how to kill a man as it was when I was a boy. Even witches and travelers have darker appetites."
She sat upright at that. Equal parts outraged and terrified, Livina's dream still tugged at her constantly since waking.
They'd pulled into a parking lot now not that either of them paid that fact any mind.
"Witches are not killers!"
"No? What about black magic? Voodoo? Sacrificial magic? Did you think the witches' curse on the travelers was a one-off?" She opened her mouth to retort but he beat her to it. "Or did you think your bloodline was exempt? One of the oldest and most powerful magical bloodlines to still exist. Do you believe they remained that way through peaceful means? I can assure you they bought their survival through bloody means just as Ayana did. Or did you think magic like Jeremy's life rings came without a price?" Kol pulled open his door and exited the car, not waiting for her reply.
Bonnie grit her teeth, it wasn't the reminder she needed right now. Not with Livina's madness swimming so close to the surface of her subconscious mind.
But it wasn't only that. No, it was the infuriating insinuation that they were equal. It was the fact he'd walked off immediately afterward as if that would be enough to end the discussion after what he'd said.
"Those are not the same thing! That kind of magic is not practiced anywhere near as frequently as vampires kill people." She was arguing again as soon as she'd joined him outside the vehicle.
"Maybe not today. But a century ago, a millennium ago and before that, it was common practice. Besides, vampires don't have to kill to feed, especially not since the development of blood bags. You may not want to admit it, but they're not that different. Now I need to go do this while you keep out of the way, or would you rather continue this discussion on the morality of vampires? Or does that not apply when it's vampires that are being killed?"
He turned on his heel then and strode into the building not waiting for a response. Leaving Bonnie to follow after him, still fuming.
She didn't want to listen to the niggling thought that he was right. She had had no qualms about killing vampires, they were monsters and she was doing the world a favor. But that had been Livina's exact thought process while performing sacrificial magic to kill an Original. While Bonnie hadn't committed a sacrifice to bring Klaus to his knees, she had drawn on the death of a hundred witches. Witches that had suffered horrifically in order for her to draw on their magic.
But it wasn't the same and Bonnie had to believe that. She'd never actually killed anyone. Not by her own hand anyway, the tomb vampires not counting on a mere technicality.
Bonnie was pulled from her thoughts by the fearful presence of the man Kol had likely come to see if the trembling utterance of the Original's name was anything to go by. Bonnie watched the proceedings with a wary eye. She had no context for the Original's reputation outside of her small town and didn't know what to expect here.
The fitfully shifting scrawny figure before them looked to be in his forties and in a state of perpetual balding. There was a woman standing beside his cowering frame, tall and elegant even she looked wearily between him and Kol.
"Mr. Insberg, good to see you again. I'm sure you know why I'm here?" There was a feral smirk upon Kol's lips that promised bloodshed but a closer look revealed to Bonnie that it was as much a constructed mask as so many of Kol's expressions. It left Bonnie more tentative than their shouting match from before. Kol turned away from Mr. Insberg to address the blonde. "Clarissa if you would be a dear and occupy Miss Wilson here while me and Mr. Insberg have a much-needed talk. Should anything happen to her, I will be holding you responsible."
It took Bonnie a moment to realize 'Miss Wilson' was her. She shot a sideways glance at Kol for the use of her father's surname. She hadn't gone by that since her mother left and her Grams was named her primary caretaker. Though she didn't understand how Kol knew that, it was enough to distract her that she didn't notice herself being led away from Kol by the blonde named Clarissa.
A door slid shut between her and Kol, that was enough to clear the fog from her mind. Bonnie spun around to find herself in an office space alone with the silent woman while Kol was left to his own devices. Well, that just wouldn't do.
~x~
Bonnie wasn't sure what to do. On the one hand, this had nothing to do with her and she would never have known about it if she hadn't come along with Kol today. On the other hand, could she really stand by while Kol tortured someone? Even if it was a vampire? They deserved it didn't they? Vampires were monsters after all.
But it was that thought process, that had been the driving force behind Livina's madness.
That was enough to make Bonnie stop short. Even though Livina's convictions had been mainly centered around Kol - who Bonnie had seen was capable of some humanity - the rest of vampire kind hadn't been excluded from that line of thought in Livina's mind.
Bonnie did not want to be Livina. She didn't care that they shared a soul, she would not allow that to be her fate, she would fight against it as much as she could. Even if she was destined to fail it was better to fail doing the right thing than not to try at all.
"I'm not staying in here, I have to go after Kol," Bonnie said resolutely.
Clarissa shifted nervously, "Mr. Mikaelson was quite clear, ma'am. You're to stay here."
"I don't care what he said!"
Clarissa flinched, "Ma'am it won't be only Mr. Insberg that faces his wrath if I don't do as he says."
"Why would you even listen to him?" Bonnie asked, baffled.
Clarissa could just as easily flee as soon as she released Bonnie if she was that concerned. Kol's issue would be with Bonnie, not Clarissa regardless of what he'd said. He'd know it was Bonnie's doing not her's if she weren't to stay put. She couldn't understand this woman's loyalty to a Mikaelson when she clearly had some form of loyalty to Mr. Insberg too for her to be here.
"Mr. Mikaelson is an Original vampire," Clarissa said simply as if that explained everything.
"So?"
Clarissa looked baffled by her response, "So his family is practically royalty in the supernatural world. The entirety of the vampire race descends from them, our vampirism is a gift from them and if they decide we are no longer worthy then that is the price we must pay for immortality."
Bonnie stared incredulously at Clarissa. Was that seriously the belief held by other vampires in the supernatural world? It was unfathomable that anyone would treat the Mikaelsons with any kind of reverence. And yet she'd seen the warmth with which Helmi had greeted Kol. There was a whole facet to the Originals that she was unfamiliar with. It wasn't a mindset she could fathom having when it came to them.
"And if I escape then he or his family will come after me to seek their retribution for the wrongs I have committed." Clarissa continued.
"But he'll kill Mr. Insberg if we don't intervene." Bonnie tried to get through to the blonde when she'd regained the ability of speech.
Clarissa straightened, "Mr. Insberg knew what he was risking when he refused the Mikaelsons demands. This is the fate that he brought upon himself."
Bonnie couldn't believe the other woman. The detached manner in which she spoke of torture and death had Bonnie suspicious.
"How long have you been a vampire?"
"672 years ma'am."
That explained it then. She was an older vampire. Older than Katherine she was likely in a similar ballpark as Rose. Rose and Trevor had been running from the Mikaelsons for five hundred years and still Rose had spoken of the Mikaelsons as if they were legendary figures. Gods to be feared and revered in equal measure.
"I see." Was all Bonnie said as she waved her hand to snap the woman's neck. Now she couldn't be held accountable.
Once she'd freed herself of Clarissa's presence it hadn't been difficult to locate Kol. The sound of screaming filled the air as soon as she wrenched the office door open. She raced down the corridor towards the sound, barely giving thought to the sight that she was about to face.
She yanked the door open - that was thankfully not locked - to find Kol looming over Mr. Insberg's bloodied face with a menacing look, judging by the way the man was clutching his middle that wasn't the extent of his injuries. One of Kol's hands was gripping Mr. Insberg's lapel and the other was clutching a pen in his fist. He drew his arm back and before Bonnie could stop him he'd plunged the pen into the flesh of the man's hand.
"Kol stop!" Bonnie screamed, panicked momentarily forgetting about a vampire's ability to heal in the face of such violence.
Kol turned to regard her over his shoulder with an irritated look before turning back to Mr. Insberg.
"Go back to Clarissa, this doesn't concern you." Kol just about managed to get out, his words tinged with barely restrained rage.
"I won't leave you to kill him." Bonnie spat.
Kol laughed, "He's a vampire darling. What else would you have me do?"
The implication in Kol's words was clear to Bonnie. She had made it clear that vampires were murderous monsters and killing them was not a crime as a result. And here Kol was pointing out the flaw in her logic. If she wasn't evil for killing vampires why was it wrong to torture a monster?
"You can't." Was the feeble response that Bonnie gave. It was the only words she could latch on to currently. She couldn't explain her motives only that she couldn't stand the idea of letting torture occur in her vicinity.
"She's right." Mr. Insberg quickly cut in. "It won't be necessary, I'll tell you what you need to know."
Kol stared coldly down at Mr. Insberg even as the man whimpered. It wasn't an expression Bonnie was familiar with and for a moment, she thought he'd ignore them both and finish the man regardless of what Elijah wanted. Prove to the world once more just how volatile a vampire Kol Mikaelson was.
"Wait outside Bonnie." Kol eventually spoke through gritted teeth as he bodily dragged Mr. Insberg to his feet. "Now!"
Bonnie was quick to leave then. She didn't want Kol to change his mind, not now that he'd acquiesced.
~x~
"Was that really necessary?" Bonnie asked as soon as Kol reemerged.
Kol rolled his eyes already heading for the car.
"You should give yourself some credit, little witch. It was your fear that convinced him I was going to kill him, that was the only reason he decided to talk."
"So you're saying you weren't going to kill him?"
Kol spun back around to face her. Bonnie hadn't moved away from the wall, making no moves to head towards the car, but even from this distance could she see that none of the earlier anger had been displaced.
"Is that what you'd like to hear? That I wasn't going to kill him or have you merely convinced yourself that he's as innocent as you'd like to believe your friends are."
Bonnie couldn't help but feel incensed by his condescending words as she stepped unthinkingly toward him.
"Don't bring my friends into this. You said it yourself, vampires don't have to kill to feed. That whole predator bullshit, is just that, bullshit."
Kol laughed mockingly at that.
"Can you really say that you've never considered it? That you've never felt the way your magic boils just beneath your skin in reaction to your rage just waiting to be called upon. Tell me you didn't feel anything when you found out that your mother abandoned you. That you didn't want to make anyone pay for your Grandmother's death." Kol taunted in a cruelly curious tone.
Bonnie's chest was heaving in anger at Kol's words but she couldn't deny them. Not when her magic was doing just as he'd described.
"Tell me that you never wanted to make the Salvatores suffer," Kol added, cocking his head to the side as he regarded her. "The truth is that the world isn't black and white, little witch. Your mother would have had to take a life in order to put Mikael down. Jeremy's ring would likely have required several lives in order to restore the balance. Anytime you tamper with life, nature demands a price. Your ancestors knew that better than most."
Bonnie wanted to shout and scream. Wanted to defend herself and her ancestors, but the words weren't forthcoming. Because she couldn't entirely deny the truth in them. She had been thinking just the other day that she should have killed Damon and she'd experienced the consequences of tampering with life when she'd raised Jeremy.
While she didn't claim the tomb vampires' deaths as being her own, she couldn't deny that she was glad that they were dead. And she'd wanted to kill Klaus and Elijah, the only reason they weren't, was because she'd missed her opportunity. Her hands were clean by mere technicality only.
"It's just that simple is it?" She finally managed to get out. "The world is an awful place and you should just accept it?"
Kol took a step away from her as he heaved a sigh, irritated by her continual refusal to see things his way.
"If you like. If you'd rather see every shade of gray as black then yes, I suppose the world will seem a pretty awful place. But if you can find vindication and excuses for killing vampires or threats. What makes you think that other monsters aren't making the exact same excuses? In fact, why don't I show you?" With that he was suddenly stood before her, hands coming up to grasp either side of her head.
Bonnie didn't have time to react before she was suddenly plunged into darkness. Her vision replaced by sensation. There was a deep, gnawing hunger that ate away at her thoughts, demanding attention. The craving for the deep red of the life sustaining fluid of others, it was almost all there was. But there was something even more all consuming. A whole in her chest where her magic should lie, it's edges jagged and cold like a broken window. And just beyond that hollow opening was a beast that was so cold it burned. A nightmarish creature made purely of rage and violence, a deep seated need to paint the world in the very blood it needed to survive. Bonnie was so consumed by the sensation that she was already reaching for her own magic to act on such violence.
That was when Kol pulled away. The glimpse she'd seen into his soul left her shaking and gasping. The sympathetic look he shot her before it was disguised once more left her reeling. How could he stand before her showing her sympathy when it was his plight that had shaken her to her core?
"Sometimes, darling, death is kinder."
"When is it ever better?" The words fell from Bonnie's lips automatically, unable to comprehend the situation in which she was still lost in that hunger that demanded more than just blood but violence and death too.
"I can think of several cases." For a moment Bonnie was sure he was talking from personal experience and then he turned to face the sky and she lost that glimpse behind the mask. "When we first turned the motto was: never leave alive someone who had seen what we were. We couldn't risk rumors spreading to Mikael of our presence. But after our first sires were created Elijah compelled them to believe they were us and instead of dying, they spent a century being hunted by our father."
Kol dropped his gaze back to the tarmac of the car park before turning to look once more at her. Elijah had doomed them to the very same existence that Kol had just shown Bonnie. The rage was gone now having been replaced by weariness as the conversation dragged on.
"You can believe what you want but the supernatural world was built on death and blood. Nearly every monster in existence is the result of witch magic and most every curse and hex too. Trigonometry might be compulsory knowledge now, but there was a time when knowing how to gut an animal and wield a blade were common too."
Kol turned back towards the car and was only a few paces away from it when Bonnie spoke.
"So what? Don't hold you to the standards of today, is that it?"
Kol shook his head to himself but he sounded amused when he spoke this time.
"Violence has been a part of the way of life for longer than magic has existed. The lessons you've been taught about magic are a false representation of the witches who have spent centuries trying to cover their tracks and reimagine their own history. I'm saying don't hold yourself to that standard because you'll only find yourself consumed by guilt when you inevitably fail. It's in your nature as much as it is mine."
Kol slid into the car then while Bonnie was left trying to ignore the way his words resonated with her and trying to shake off what he'd shown her.
~x~
Bonnie was silent on the drive back, her earlier convictions seemed hollow now and she needed time to reflect. Kol likewise didn't say anything, instead turning on the radio to drown out the silence between them.
Bonnie didn't want to admit that he was right, she didn't think she could, it felt too much like giving up. But she could admit to herself that he wasn't entirely wrong. She hadn't known that there could be any dark impulses when it came to magic. And yet she could remember how she felt when she'd started that fire at the car wash, the way she'd lost herself to that tidal wave of anger and disgust. She could remember wanting to kill Damon the night of the carnival, could remember getting lost in her own version of justice. She could remember the resolution she'd felt when she'd handed the pocket watch over - untampered with - leading to the deaths of the tomb vampires. Every time she had tapped into that rage and had given into her magic it had felt right, only her Grams' lessons holding her back. That wasn't what witches were, they were moral, they were the keepers of the balance.
But what did it say about the balance that a werewolf's curse could only be triggered by the death of a human? That magic used blood and human sacrifice to fuel its power? That vampires were allowed to roam the Earth? If bloodshed wasn't a necessary aspect of keeping the balance then why did the pattern keep occurring? Why was it so integral?
Bonnie didn't want to believe Kol's words she didn't. But mainly because she didn't want them to be true. Didn't want her Grams' teachings to be wrong. Didn't want to think about how easy it would be to fall into Livina's way of thinking if she accepted that.
But… But Bonnie had done less dark magic with Kol than she'd ever done while trying to help her friends. If anything he seemed to want to keep her away from that path. Was it because he saw that potential in her just as it had been in Livina? Or because it was all just another attempt to manipulate her?
It wasn't long before they pulled up in front of Bonnie's Grams' house, the drive having flown by in her ruminating. Bonnie got out of the car almost immediately, Kol moving moments afterward. He leaned against the car as she headed for the door only for her to stop and turn back to face him. There was still one more thing she needed to know.
"What Rebekah said. About you destroying whole villages on a whim. Is it true? She said that's what landed you in a coffin."
Kol turned to face her with a raised eyebrow. The rage from before was gone as was the weariness leaving only a stony mask in their place.
"It wasn't on a whim but otherwise yes."
"Then why?"
Kol sighed, dropping his head to his chest.
"The first time? It was less than two decades after we'd turned, I'd just learned something about Renata's death that sent me on a grief spiral. The time Rebekah is referring to was in the 18th century, Mikael had found us and instead of coming after us himself, he compelled the villagers to attack us.
What my siblings don't know is that they were compelled to attack one of your reincarnations, Catherine. Mikael killed Renata and then he killed one of her reincarnations. The grief along with the shattered soul bond, the reminder of Rena's death and the fear of our father coming to kill us sent me over the edge. I don't even remember it aside from snatches. It was just dark but with moments of sight like the flashing of a lightbulb. When I came back to myself, every villager that had entered the tavern where Catherine had been murdered was now dead. The rest of the village Mikael had set alight to drive us out into the open, those that hadn't died by my hand would have burned alive. That was how Klaus and Elijah found me. They blamed all of the destruction on me."
'But if you can find vindication and excuses for killing vampires or threats. What makes you think that other monsters aren't making the exact same excuses?' Kol's words from earlier floated through Bonnie's mind taking on a new light. That was one hell of a combination Bonnie didn't think he even needed an excuse. The grief, the fear, the shattered soul bond, and of course there was the fact that the soul bond seemed to affect Kol's vampire instincts too. Anyone else would have gone mad.
"Satisfied, darling?" There was an almost cruel edge to the question as Kol turned to get back in his car.
"I think you're right." She blurted, halting him in his tracks. "I haven't wanted to acknowledge it because that's not who I'm supposed to be but I think magic has just as much possibility to be used for bloodshed."
Kol turned to regard her carefully, "It doesn't have to be. You shouldn't be afraid of magic, there's just as much beauty in it as there is darkness. You just have to find the balance."
"Just like a vampire has to control their urges?" Bonnie asked wryly.
Kol's lips quirked up in a lopsided smile at the comparison. "Exactly."
"And how do I find that balance?" A slight tremble in her voice as she asked. "I don't want to fall off the deep end like Livina."
Almost immediately Kol was rounding the car and standing in front of her with vampire speed, a hand cupping her cheek. The reassuring expression on his face was so at odds with the way they'd snarled at each other earlier.
"You won't. I won't allow it. I'll teach you until you can see that tipping point for yourself."
Bonnie stared at Kol for a moment. This wasn't where she'd thought the day would end up when she'd set out this morning. Despite all the screaming it had almost been cathartic to have her darker side exposed and accepted all at once. She didn't have to be ashamed of those aspects of herself around Kol, nor did it make her a bad person to acknowledge them.
She was beginning to realize that people were more than just the image they presented. There was more to Kol than the murderous vampire than she was led to believe. And there was more to magic than floating feathers and getting rid of the latest threat.
It wouldn't compromise her morals to see there was more to reality than the black and white view she held for so long.
"I'll see you tomorrow?" She said softly trying to dispel the last of the tension from the day.
Kol smiled back at her, "Until tomorrow, goodnight Bonnie."
~x~
"This is starting to become a habit." Bonnie acknowledged.
Bonnie had been attempting to leave her Grams' house to meet Kol only to almost trip as she exited the door because apparently, Kol had decided to take a nap on her porch.
"Just doing my part for the neighborhood watch." Kol peeked at her through one eye as he grinned lazily at her.
Bonnie shook her head exasperatedly. He was sprawled out horizontally in front of her door, legs crossed at the ankle, one arm bent at the elbow and tucked under his head while the other rested on his stomach. For all intents and purposes, he looked pretty comfortable, you could almost pretend it wasn't her Grams' old porch he was laid out on.
"Uh huh sure, what'd Klaus do this time?"
Kol sighed, still not moving from his position on her porch, "I may have smashed one of his decorative vases and he may have threatened to dagger me for it. It seemed like the best idea for both of us that we not be in each other's presence."
"You know texting is just as effective a means of getting someone's attention."
"I disagree."
Bonnie sighed, "My neighbors are going to think you're a squatter. If you must insist on playing guard dog you may as well come in." She said it quickly before she could change her mind.
Kol finally opened his eyes to look at her, his brow furrowed in concern.
"Are you sure about that, little witch? It's not too late to rescind your invitation."
"You can do that?" Her own brow now furrowed.
Kol sighed, "Honestly, what do those Salvatores teach you about vampires? Of course, you can revoke an invitation even after you've given it."
"Good to know." She turned back to her Grams' house. "Are we having magic lessons or not?"
She didn't wait for him to follow her in. It didn't feel as big a deal as it perhaps should have been. She had to trust Kol, he was the only one that knew what was going on with her, and thus far hadn't done anything to displace that trust. Besides he couldn't hurt her, the soul bond wouldn't allow for it.
"Do you want something to drink?" She called from the kitchen as she heard Kol's footsteps cross the threshold of her home.
"Tea if you have it?"
Bonnie fought the urge to track Kol's movements with her eyes, focusing on making the drinks instead. Absently she remembered her mother being in this position when they'd gone to visit her the other day, asking about drinks for the unexpected guest that had appeared on her porch.
"Chamomile or green tea?" She called after a moment of quick inventory. She was sure she had more blends than that though. Truth be told she'd been mainly drinking her dream tea that she'd forgotten about doing any restocks.
"Chamomile, thanks." There was a pause before he spoke again. "Are these grimoires yours too?"
He was in the sitting room then, Bonnie realized. She set the kettle to boil, tea bags in cups before she joined him. He was standing in the middle of the room taking notes of his surroundings but intentionally not touching anything.
"They're my Grams' mainly. Some are from the Martin's and one belonged to my ancestor Emily."
"Quite the collection you have darling." He turned to her with a quirked eyebrow nodding to one of the artifacts her Grams kept, Bonnie wasn't sure of its purpose.
Bonnie shrugged, "My Grams was an occult professor but I don't know what half of it is. She didn't exactly keep a record."
Kol smiled at that, amused at the thought. He probably didn't need to be told what any of it was.
"Can I?" He nodded towards one of the bookcases crammed with what Bonnie could only assume were magical artifacts rather than the result of hoarding that she had believed them to be growing up.
"Sure, you probably know what they are better than me anyway."
The kettle whistled behind her and she turned to get it when Kol murmured behind her.
"I'll trade you my own collection if you like, at least you'd have use for it."
She paused to let his words sink in before continuing on to the kitchen unsure how to respond to that. Bonnie had no doubt that the Mikaelsons had their own arsenal of grimoires and magical artifacts tucked away, Kol in particular who seemed to cling to magical knowledge in the absence of his own. That was not an offer to make lightly. It was a show of trust much like her own invitation into her home. Perhaps Bonnie would even take him up on the offer.
A/N: This chapter made me feel like hitting my head. I've known for ages how I wanted these scenes to go but I could not for the life of me get them to cooperate when I finally had time to write after exam season. The caroline and abby stuff was supposed to be last chapter but I moved it here and added the Rebekah stuff instead but the conflict and invite scene I kept debating where to put it. It was going to be after the ball and then I realised it made more sense before and had to move stuff around in last chap to make it work.
But anyway its done now sorry about the wait for this update and just an fyi if I ever abandon any of my stories I will let you know either by removing the story or an authors note you won't just be left wondering. So just assume I haven't got my life together enough to write atm :/
Question: I was originally going to include a scene where Kol would make Bonnie experience what being a vampire actually was like, should I edit it in or do we think Bonnie's acceptance works as it is?
Anyway leave any thoughts in the comments :)
Comments:
timijaf: Great chapter! " She supposed she better come to terms with that. But still, the thought lingered, that every spell has a loophole." hmmm maybe tying your current life to his could work
Thats certainly one possibility I'm considering for that particular plot point, thank you sweetie!
IamwhoIwas: I hope you continue this someday. This is an excellent fic and I would love to see some Salvatore groveling
Still working on this! Just got sucked up in exams and then had to reread the story to remember what was going on. I haven't actually planned on any Salvatore groveling as much as I think it's deserved, simply because I think they're too arrogant to acknowledge it. But plans could change!
cassiejones07: I hope Bonnie tells the mystic Falls gang to kick rocks permanently. / bonnie doesn't need those wankers! they need her not to the other way around.
100% agree all of their plans are dependent on Bonnie and they're gonna struggle later on down the line because of it
valentin301099: Damn I really hope they're together now! the suspense is killing me / I hope and bonnie and kol have their happy ending, they deserve it, especially bonnie, elena and the salvatore always destroyed everything good in their lives / thank you very well portray the personalities of each one, I really hope that bonnie disconnects from the salvatore and elena, I feel that she is so necessarily loyal to them because of the problems of abandonment that she has (she feels that everyone leaves her, dad, mom and that It has generated that she values herself very little and causes her to do the impossible for those who "have been there"), I think, and what she needs is someone who puts her first and above all else and makes her feel wanted, loved
They're not together yet, they've still got a way to go before that. Bonnie's got a lot of work to do personally in regards to her multiple selves. I have at least one happy ending planned, maybe three, because I definitely agree but we'll see how things pan out. I think there's some contradictions in how people want me to address the Elena/Salvatore issue but I personally agree that I think Bonnie needs some distance from them, her loyalty to them isn't great for her if understandable given her character (as you pointed out). Exactly, I think both Kol and Bonnie need that neither has a great track record with being wanted