"Okay Yugi, you asked for it," said Kaiba, grinning maniacally. "I don't have much on the field worth keeping, so I might as well play this card." Kaiba pulled out a black card and slammed it down on the table. "What's a girl's best friend?"
"An interesting choice, Kaiba," said Yugi. "Do you have an answer for it?"
"Indeed I do," said Kaiba. "For you see, your last move wiped out Jennifer Lawrence. A girl. Which means, I play this card too." Kaiba drew a white card from his hand and slammed it down next to the black card. "Mutually assured destruction."
"…no…" said Yugi, horrified at the thought of what was about to happen.
"That's right Yugi," said Kaiba. "You wiped me out, so I'm wiping you out."
"But…that'll wipe your museum of bitch slaps out," said Yugi.
"I know, and it's tragic," said Kaiba. "But you're not taking as much damage from it as I would hope, so ultimately it's not a major loss for me."
"Kaiba, NO…" yelled Yugi in desperation.
"Too late," said Kaiba. "Jennifer's demise shall be yours too Yugi." As Kaiba activated the card, what amounted to a small explosion erupted in the table, and when the smoke cleared, all that remained on the field were the trap cards each had played. Yugi noticed that the Hell and Heaven dimensions were still intact, though he put that down to neither dimension being destroyable by a mere bomb.
"I…can't believe it…" said Yugi, his life points dropping down to 3400.
"Well, it sucks I had to do that," said Kaiba, his life points only dropping to 4500. "But suddenly, I have the upper hand. Especially since you now have six monsters in Hell to drain you of your life points."
'He's right,' thought Yugi. 'I had such good plans, and he wiped out everything in one fell swoop. How can I…"
'Yugi,' said the Pharoah. 'Let me take over. I may have a strategy to beat him.'
'Are you sure Pharoah?' asked Yugi.
'Trust me,' said the Pharoah.
'Okay, I trust you,' said Yugi closing his eyes and focusing as he felt the Pharoah take over his body.
"Hurry up and make your move Yugi so I can end this game," said Kaiba.
"I shall then," said the Pharoah, opening Yugi's eyes. "After all, ending the game's the only way to beat you."
"Oh, you're hiding behind the Pharoah are you, Yugi?" asked Kaiba smugly.
"Laugh it up Kaiba, because I'm going to end this game much faster than you think," said the Pharoah, pulling a white card out of his hand. "To start my turn, I play this card."
Kaiba looked at the card, and flinched when he read it. "No…"
"Yes Kaiba, I play the Grave Robbing card," said the Pharoah. "Now I can bring back a used or dead card of my choice."
"I supposed you'll bring back one of your dead cards to stop as many of your life points from disappearing," said Kaiba.
"Why stop just some of my life points disappearing when I can stop all of them?" asked the Pharoah. "I bring back…the Gay Conversion Therapy card."
"WHAT?!" demanded Kaiba.
"That's right Kaiba, I'm bringing back one of your cards," said the Pharoah. "And now I'm using it on the exact same card you used it on: Neil Patrick Harris."
"NO!" yelled Kaiba.
"And since he's gay again, he can't be in heaven," said the Pharoah, as Neil Patrick Harris fell from Heaven down to Hell. "He's in Hell, and can treat my cards for Trench Foot." All of a sudden, a thought struck the Pharoah. "Hey, that reminds me: since your Jennifer Lawrence card killed two of mine, wouldn't that mean she goes to Hell and gets Trench Foot too?"
"…damn it," said Kaiba, as his life points adjusted to 4300.
"That may not have done much to hurt you this turn, but it's certainly stopped the worst of the damage you just caused," said the Pharoah. "Make your next move, Kaiba."