Nocturne - Chapter Five: Morning Revelations
Rated - M (for suggestive adult themes, references to some violence, and coarse language)
o - o - o - o - o : Indicates scene or POV change
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.
o - o - o - o - o
Kagome dreaded the return of Inuyasha like none other. Her guilt racked her profoundly, and it often would make her sick. She honestly could not tell if she was experiencing morning sickness or if it was her mind eating at her. So, she was pregnant. She felt like she should be on one of those ridiculous American reality TV shows where the woman does not know who the father was, and they parade around on stage asserting who they thought was the father, only for a DNA test to return shocking results. The only difference here was that there were no DNA tests.
She weighed her options frequently. She might have carried Inuyasha's child, and she hoped for that scenario since it would be the easiest to handle. On the other hand, she had done some studying on hybrids while she was sealed in the future. It was difficult to explain, and the science behind it made her head fuzzy, but the result is that two different species may only be compatible for one generation.
Yokai were something different, if not another species, she'd determined. This was much all too complicated to think about for any length of time. Kagome settled her mind on the fact that if she and Inuyasha could have a child together, it would have happened already. The timing between her night with Sesshomaru and her resulting pregnancy was just too perfect.
Anytime she thought about it at length, Kagome always ended up with the same conclusion, and it frightened her. If this were the daiyokai's child...what would the implications be? What would Inuyasha think? What would he do? She shook her head. She knew precisely what Inuyasha would do. He would turn into an uncontrollable rage-beast and attempt to kill his half-brother for impregnating 'his woman.'
However, if she did not tell Inuyasha, maybe he would assume this was his child. He knew nothing of the midnight tryst she and his brother had shared and had no notion of future genetics. Perhaps that was her best option. But could she live with the guilt? The constant fear eating away at her that Inuyasha would wise up and find out somehow? What if he could tell the child was not his own?
She shuddered at the thought and another heinous imagining popped into her mind. What if Sesshomaru knew? What would he do given his stance towards hanyos? Would he kill the child or her with it before the world was tainted with the knowledge that he had sired a mutt?
Kagome's head hurt with the swirl of 'what ifs.' She squeezed her eyes shut, and tears still found their way out to run down her face. It seemed that no matter what she did, she was doomed. She would lose everything, and no one would know or care that she was not to blame. But she felt at fault. She could have stopped the night from happening. She felt the call and the spell that had been wrapped around her. It would not have been difficult to break the spell, but she let curiosity get the best of her, and the lust that she felt when she realized who had been called to her side made her forget about any attempt at breaking it.
A creak in the floorboard announced the presence of a visitor to Kagome's abode. She opened her eyes to see Inuyasha in the doorway. Fear chained her to the floor, and guilt weighed her down. Inuyasha's eyes narrowed as he took in the sight of her crying on the floor.
He quickly rushed to her side and knelt beside her, "Kagome?" he questioned gently. "What's wrong?"
She smiled and wiped her traitorous tears from her face. "Inuyasha!" she exclaimed. "You're home."
"I thought you'd be happy to see me," he said, nearly pouting. "Sango squealed and jumped into Miroku's arms."
"It-It's not that," she sniffled.
"Then, why are you crying? What's happened?" he asked, his eyes full of concern.
Kagome steeled herself and tried her best to look happy. "I'm...pregnant," she told him.
His face dropped into a blank expression for a split second as he processed the information. "What?" he said.
Kagome gave him a playful shove, trying to bring levity to the moment. "I said...I. Am. Pregnant."
"With my child?" he asked, his features starting to brighten.
Kagome knew that his question was a knee-jerk reaction from someone who had led a tumultuous life and still could not comprehend that anyone would live with him, let alone love him and give him a family. It caught her off guard, and she nearly admitted her doubt aloud.
"Why would you ask that, idiot?!" she asked offensively. She had half a mind to 'Sit' him then and there but refrained.
"This is amazing news! We're finally going to have a pup of our own, and I can rub it in Miroku's nose!"
"I tell you I'm pregnant, and all you can think about is defending your masculinity to the lecher monk? Doesn't it mean anything else to you?" she asked, a little appalled at his reaction.
He scooped her up into a big hug and nuzzled her neck. "Of course it does. It means everything to me," he said gently.
Kagome bit back the tears that threatened to spill out. Her mind was made up. She wouldn't tell him, nor could she.
o - o - o - o - o
Almost a month had passed, and spring had begun to tease its arrival. The cold had broken into something more bearable, but it still chilled all those who ventured out into it. Kagome had shared the 'official' news with her friends, and it was well-received by everyone, much to Kagome's internal chagrin. No one knew the truth. In reality, Kagome bore it all relatively well, given the circumstances. She just had this foreboding feeling that something would happen, and soon.
Her ultimate fear was that someone would look at her and know her horrible secret. Most days, she would only feel the twinge of guilt once or twice a day, and she would need to take steadying breaths to clear her mind. Others were much more difficult. Kagome had a perfect excuse, though. She could use pregnancy ailments as a reason for her moments - or days - of strange behavior.
This day was one of the worst so far. Today, Kagome did not want to rise out of bed and face the day. The night before had been trying for her. Inuyasha had doted upon her, completing her chores, bringing her meals wherever she happened to be working, and being generally affectionate. He had not said an offensive word to her since she'd told him of her condition, and that did nothing to settle her shame.
'How could she deceive him?' She would often wonder. Inuyasha had finished the night cuddling against her abdomen - which had begun to swell - and spoke to her unborn child. Had her circumstances been different, the moment would have been perfect.
Inuyasha had risen early this morning and completed her usual morning tasks only to return to find her bedridden.
He dashed to her side in concern, "Oi, Kagome? Are you okay? Why are you still in bed?" He paused. "Is it the baby?"
Kagome's internal anguish manifested itself into a sob.
"No, I do not feel well today... Hormones," she casually explained away.
The word was foreign to Inuyasha, and he just nodded and kissed her forehead.
"I have to go. There is fighting up north that is threatening to spill southward to the village," Inuyasha told her.
She rose onto an elbow to give him her attention; her anguish was momentarily forgotten. He must have seen Miroku while out and about.
"Why?" she asked. Her question was not inquiring why he was leaving but rather why there was fighting.
"Stupid people making stupid decisions. Humans fighting for power, the usual," he told her. "There've already been some people sent here asking for help. Some shogun is levying villages for men to support him in a campaign or something. I don't know the specifics, just that those idiots are going around killing people. If you want details, ask Miroku. I'm just going along to send a message of my own." A sinister grin crossed his face, and that mischievous look nearly made Kagome smile.
"What's that?" she asked.
"Fuck with us, and I will come and fuck with you," he said darkly.
She nearly laughed. "Right, you go and dispatch the baddies. But how long will you be gone? This doesn't sound like the usual deal."
Inuyasha rolled up onto a shoulder and began to run his hand over Kagome's abdomen. "I don't know, Kagome. A week or two, maybe. Not long. I just gotta run through these people, and I'll be back here."
"I see," she said. "I'm not going anywhere." She rose and began putting her things away.
Inuyasha hopped up and began to follow her around the room, helping her to put things away. Kagome smiled, amused at his new penchant for assisting her. "What will I do once you're gone?" she asked jokingly.
"Well, I figured maybe you'd like it if Shippo were here?" he asked, shrugging.
Kagome stopped and turned on her heel, "What?"
Shippo had been away at Kitsune school, studying for his examinations. Kagome only saw him sparingly this past year since he was nearing the completion of his intermediate training. He'd not been back to the village since before she'd announced she was with child.
"Yeah, he came back this morning. I told him to wait outside while I told you about the trip. He wanted to surprise you, so act surprised or something."
"Since when does Shippo listen to you?" Kagome asked.
"Since I knocked him upside the head and told him that I'd always be able to clobber his ass no matter what type of training he thinks he has," Inuyasha answered. He crossed his arms and looked a little smug.
The kitsune entered the house without any prompting and dashed over to pull Kagome into a bear hug, spinning her around. "Oh!" Kagome exclaimed.
Inuyasha, arms still crossed, yelled, "Oi! Watch the goods runt!"
Shippo put Kagome down carefully. He'd grown to stand nearly her height, which astonished Kagome. He'd been so small for the longest time that Kagome hadn't thought he'd get much larger. How wrong she'd been. "Oh, Shippo! It's been too long this time!"
The kitsune's deeper voice surprised her. "It's only been a few months. I had to really study for that last exam," he told her. "But look!" he pointed out, turning around for her to see his backside. Three tails wagged in unison at her. "I got another one!" he said happily. "Now I have as many as papa did."
"Wow, look at that! You'll have an entire set in no time!" she said. She put her hands on her hips and admired his new tail.
"You know it!" he grinned. "Soooo," he began and looked down at her middle. Kagome gave him a confused look. Why was he looking at her like that? She wondered. "When are you planning on telling me about the bun in the oven? You finally let Inuyasha knock you up, huh?"
Inuyasha scowled and knocked Shippo on top of the head with a fist. "Fuck off…"
Kagome's eyes widened in surprise, "Wha...uh...I guess you know then. How did you know?"
Rubbing his head, Shippo ducked away from Inuyasha's swinging fist and ran behind Kagome.
"Yeah, hide behind a woman, you coward," Inuyasha growled.
Shippo grabbed Kagome's shoulders from behind and peeked over, laughing. "It's not difficult. I can sense it. I learned it in school. Something Inuyasha would know nothing about," he cajoled.
Inuyasha's eyes narrowed, and he cracked his knuckles maliciously. "Keep yapping, but just remember, runt...you can't cower behind her forever."
"Chill out, Inuyasha. I'm just messing with you." Shippo plopped down on the floor next to the hearth and began to look through a pot of food, looking for anything edible and blatantly ignoring Inuyasha's empty threats.
With a growl and roll of his eyes, Inuyasha turned to exit the house. Kagome pulled an outer robe over her garments and stepped out behind him.
"Are you leaving right now?" Kagome asked hesitantly. Inuyasha had not gone far. He leaned against the exterior of the house, his arms still crossed.
"Yeah. Miroku's getting some things, and he'll meet me here," he answered.
"Be safe…" she said absently, her thoughts beginning to drift away.
"Keh, I ain't worried. And you shouldn't either, woman. Those humans can't do nothin' to me," he assured her.
"Okay," she replied. She crossed her arms and looked towards the horizon where the village lie. Miroku would likely become visible in a moment or so. His proclivity for arriving punctually was one of his more endearing qualities.
Kagome brought a hand to her chin and crossed her other arm underneath. "Do you think that this skirmish is affecting the western lands?" she asked.
Inuyasha looked over at her, "Sesshomaru's land? I don't know. Why should I care?"
She shrugged, not meeting his gaze. "Curiosity, I guess. I'm thinking about Rin and how much she cares for him."
"Keh," Inuyasha scoffed. "I'm sure that asshole is doing just fine. I can't say much for the guy, but if anyone tries to fuck with him, they won't live to regret it."
Kagome pointed at a figure broaching the horizon, Miroku right on queue. The monk had a large pack strapped to his back and followed by Sango and their four children. The family exchanged their goodbyes at Kagome's house, and Miroku assured a speedy return. Sango bore a worried expression as her husband departed and pulled her children close while they waved him farewell. Inuyasha only lingered for a moment, pulling Kagome into a tender embrace and then walked off with Miroku into the distance.
"Do you think they'll be alright?" Sango asked.
Kagome gave her friend a reassuring gaze. "With Miroku as the brains and Inuyasha the brawn, there's nothing that can stop that pair," she joked.
Sango sighed, "As long as he uses his big head and not his little one to think with…"
Kagome blushed and gestured to the children who now attacked Shippo in a heap of flying limbs.
Sango waved her off, "It's fine. They can't hear me."
Kagome chuckled and watched the children all pull at Shippo's tails and his clothes while he cried out, hamming it up. For once, she did not feel the fear or guilt and started to think that she could have this...family...with Inuyasha.
Sango called off her tiny warriors from their foe, and Shippo begged for mercy on his knees. "Oh please, mighty taijiya-monk children, do not smite your dear old friend Shippo!"
The children all laughed and whined that they wanted to stay and slay the fox, but Sango ordered them off the Kitsune with a commanding voice. Once the children had been thoroughly cowed into submission and stood ready to leave, Sango turned to wish her friend goodbye. She hugged Kagome, giving her a wink.
"Someday, very soon, this will be all yours," she said, nodding her head towards the children who had begun to fight amongst themselves.
Kagome smiled and waved as the family made their way back to the village and their domicile. Shippo waved, too, holding Kagome by the shoulder companionably. Once he was sure they were gone, he leaned his head towards her.
"So, when are you planning on telling me what's really going on?" Shippo inquired.
A/N: Yeah, what's really going on?
Readers, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I know it seems like our strong lady, Kagome, is a little morose in this chapter, but I really want you all to see her inner struggle. In real life, the circumstances that we face are not always black and white, and the potential consequences leave a lot of room for speculation, aka anxiety. Kagome is no different. I'm sure she'll overcome these things somehow ;)
Anyhow, please leave a review if you can and let me know your thoughts. I enjoy seeing them.