Nocturne - Chapter Six: Black and White
Rated - M (for suggestive adult themes, references to some violence, and coarse language)
o - o - o - o - o : Indicates scene or POV change
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.
o - o - o - o - o
Kagome's eyes widened, and she gasped, despite herself. "What do you mean?"
Shippo's blank expression shrouded his thoughts, and Kagome found herself dumbfounded. He waited for a second before narrowing his eyes.
"You may as well come clean about all this," he said, gesturing to Kagome.
"I'm afraid you lost me," she said quietly.
"First off, you can't lie to save your life. Second off, I'm yokai, and I can tell these things. And lastly, I was kidding at first, but you just gave yourself away."
Kagome stood, stupefied, "I...I…"
Shippo sighed. "Maybe we should go inside and sit down. Feed me and tell me what's going on."
Kagome numbly led the way inside the house and sat down immediately.
"Fine, don't feed me," he said when it became apparent that Kagome had no intention of serving him, "But do tell me what's going on."
"How did you know?" she asked. Her anxiety began to run rampant.
If Shippo knew, how did he know? Who else could tell?
"I can see the remnants of a spell on you. It's difficult to explain, but imagine when you walk through a cobweb, and the silk is barely visible but can dangle unseen. It's something like that."
"A spell?" she asked. "What type of spell?"
"I don't know. It could be anything. But more importantly, who was the other person, and when are you gonna tell Inuyasha?"
Kagome looked away and pulled her knees to her chest, a position she wouldn't be able to accomplish soon.
"So you know the guy," Shippo supplied.
Kagome squirmed, still looking away.
"Okay, is he from the village?" Shippo questioned.
She shook her head and put her head on her knees, hiding her face.
"Well, that rules out Miroku then," Shippo said with a bit of humor.
Kagome chuckled a bit at the thought but kept her head buried.
"Then, let's see," he said in a pondering voice. "I guess I should try and narrow this down a bit since you aren't very forthcoming with information." Shippo scratched his head and continued, "Well, since you haven't told Inuyasha the truth, I can assume it's someone he loves or hates. It was a yokai, wasn't it?!"
She nodded from her knees and tried to pull them closer, wrapping her arms around her legs.
"Was it Kouga?" he asked. Kagome raised her head in disgust, "Eww, no! I like him as a friend, but never!"
Shippo raised his hands in defense, "Okay, okay, not Kouga...Not that he has the ability to create a spell like that. But who would want to do this to you? It just doesn't make any sense."
"I think that the other person was bewitched as well," she supplied. "He...he didn't stick around after, and I haven't seen him since."
Shippo sat for a moment in silence, trying to work out what he'd just been told. At that moment, Kagome began to cry; her anxiety was finally spilling over.
"P-please, Shippo! You can't tell Inuyasha! I-I can't bear to think how he'd react. He'd leave. He'd hate me. He wouldn't care that I didn't do this! He-he-he would…" she gulped back tears.
Shippo looked a little shocked at Kagome's outburst and seemed at odds with what to do. He finally approached her and pulled her into a hug. "Shh, I won't tell him. I don't like him all that much anyway."
Kagome caught her breath and giggled, pushing Shippo back. She looked at him for a brief second, taking in his mature appearance.
"How did you get to be so wise?" she asked.
The kitsune flashed a sheepish grin. "I have always been wise. You know 15 is 300 in fox years."
Kagome wiped her eyes with a sleeve and tried to smile. "Sure...300."
"Look, Kagome. I won't push you on the issue anymore. Just know that I'm here for you. I'm sure that Sango would support you, too, if you told her." He looked into her eyes, making certain Kagome was genuinely listening. "She'd probably understand more than anyone. Not only is she a badass taijiya, mother of four, and wife to a lecher; she didn't blame Kohaku for what he did while bespelled either."
Kagome considered this, and it occurred to her, the small child that she had watched grow up was suddenly a man now. She sat back and contemplated everything he'd said. She'd never thought about telling Sango for fear that she would be instantly judged and shunned. Even if she did tell Sango, she was not sure that she could stomach Inuyasha finding out.
"True," she responded. "Thank you, Shippo."
"Anytime," he replied.
o - o - o - o - o
After a week had passed, Shippo had to return to his schooling. He had become something of an apprentice and had to travel with a Kitsune master. Kagome was sad to see him leave, but he assured her that all would be well. Kagome had to admit that it was cathartic to get it out in the open. Finally, someone knew her secret, and it made the burden more bearable.
The next day, Kagome mustered up the courage to tell Sango her secret. The taijiya was shocked at first, baffled by the admission. Like with Shippo, Kagome could not reveal who, only the circumstances. Sango was speechless, trying to wrap her head around the new information.
"I-I had wondered why you would be so...unenthusiastic about everything," Sango finally responded.
They sat together at Sango's home while the children busied themselves with household chores. All but the youngest one who had fallen asleep upon his mother's lap.
"Do you still love Inuyasha?" Sango asked.
Kagome had been taken aback by the question and unprepared with an answer, instead, responding, "What would make you ask that? Out of nowhere?
"I don't know. I'd wager it's a fair question," she said.
She thought about it for a moment. "I think it's fair to say that, yes, I do love him. But..." Kagome narrowed her eyes at the kitsune. "But it isn't black and white. It's complicated."
"You're right; love can be complicated," she said. Sango looked at her friend earnestly. "However, if you didn't hold reservations, you would not be so overwhelmed."
Reservations. Kagome pondered on that. Did she have second thoughts about her relationship with Inuyasha?
"Things weren't what I expected when I came back," Kagome admitted.
"What did you expect?" Sango queried.
She sighed. "I think I expected to live happily ever after. That's what usually happens in the stories."
Sango adjusted her toddler from her lap, careful not to jostle him awake. She leveled a stern look at Kagome. "You should know better than anyone that we don't always get the happy ending we expect. Maybe Inuyasha was part of your journey, but not your happy ending?"
Kagome scoffed. "It doesn't make sense. I came back to him. I wished so strongly to be reunited with him. I bled for him, and I'd die for him."
"Yeah, but wouldn't you do all of those things for your other friends as well?"
"Y-yes."
Now it was Sango's turn to sigh. "Look, I'm not saying you and Inuyasha aren't meant to be together. I'm trying to tell you that sometimes things don't turn out the way we expect."
Kagome rested her chin on her hand. "Did things turn out the way you expected, Sango?"
Sango smiled and smoothed her toddler's wild, unkempt hair. "No, and I'm all the happier for it."
o - o - o - o - o
Another month passed with Inuyasha and Miroku still away, fighting another man's war. Miroku would send letters occasionally by messenger to give sporadic updates. It turns out that the battle was much more subtle than Miroku had anticipated.
Many people were throwing their support behind a shogun that promised prosperity for the people of his holdings, but those promises were as of yet, unfulfilled, causing political unrest.
In his sloppy handwriting, Inuyasha would send letters as well, telling her of Miroku's idiotic ploys to end the battle, which did nothing but prolong their stay. The evil aspirations of some of the daimyo were attracting yokai to the area, plaguing the common folk, and giving Inuyasha a never-ending job of slaying. It did not seem that this trip would be as quick as Miroku had forecasted.
To keep busy, Kagome spent much of her time helping Sango with the children and Rin with Kaede. Much of this time was spent split between the miko duties she had taken on and her self-care. It all passed the days, keeping their minds off the obvious question between them and sating their growing unease over the absence of the men.
Who knew how long it would be before they returned from this trip. Sango felt reasonably confident that it wouldn't be much longer, judging from Miroku's letters to her, and Kagome hoped she was right.
Her belly had begun to swell more after only four months, and she was nearly confident she could feel some fluttering. It was an exciting feeling and confirmation of the life that grew within. Kagome's heart swelled as well, filled with joy and love for something that she'd never even met.
She longed for some modern amenities that would tell her what the child's gender would be, but she had to settle for Sango's methods, all of which were old wives' tales. Sango was convinced that Kagome was going to have a boy because her skin was glowing and flawless. Kagome seriously doubted that her complexion would change now. She'd gone through many hormonal changes that never resulted in blemishes; why start now. But what did she know? Not as much as she'd like to.
On this day, like any other day, Kagome continued as she had before finding out about her pregnancy. She made her way to Kaede's hut on this warm spring day.
She carried a basket full of items to tend to Kaede's hands strung over her shoulder. The older woman's arthritis had begun to twist her fingers and caused dreadful pain. Kagome had done her best to create a poultice that would work as a salve and decrease inflammation, but there was not much that could be done at this point.
Hopefully, this treatment would alleviate the older woman's pain. Kagome was not sure how much longer the old miko had with them. Kaede did not leave the hut anymore and relied entirely on others to assist her. This burden had fallen solely upon Rin now. The young girl took it in stride, though, her smile never leaving her face.
Kagome strode through the village quietly, waving to some villagers and smiling politely. She adjusted the basket on her shoulder and absently rubbed at her belly. It was starting to become itchy, and it bothered her to no end. She made a mental note to make herself a salve before using a hand to move the door curtain and step inside.
It took her eyes a moment to adjust to the semi-darkness of the room. Along with joint pain, Kaede had also recently been plagued with headaches from the light of the sun. The poor woman cantankerously demanded that the hut be shrouded, leaving Rin and those who visited in relative darkness.
Kagome set her basket down and looked over to find three figures staring at her, lit by the glow of small flames, and her heart stopped when she realized who the third was.
"Kagome!" Rin called.
She leaped up and pulled Kagome by the hands to sit next to her. "Sit and listen to Lord Sesshomaru's news! It's so exciting!" she squealed.
Stunned to silence, Kagome allowed herself to be pulled down and did her best not to stare too openly at the Daiyokai lord. She was almost sure that his nostrils flared infinitesimally, and if she could see better, she would reckon that his eyes widened a fraction. Otherwise, his features remained stoic. He did offer a slight nod in her direction, acknowledging her presence, she guessed.
Kaede put a hand to her temple, "Hush child, thy overzealous tone is grating on my poor ears today. Please fetch me my cup." She covered her eyes with a hand and pointed a twisted one towards a cup just out of reach.
Rin jumped up again and poured more tea into Kaede's mug, chatting all the while. "Lord Sesshomaru has just told us that he's getting married to another Inu Yokai! She sounds quite lovely, and I really hope I get to meet her!"
Kagome looked from Rin to Sesshomaru and felt her heart pound heavily in her chest. His ever scrutinizing gaze fell upon her causing her chest to flutter.
"Congratulations," she managed to utter and forced herself to smile. Why would that news bother her at all? It wasn't as if she had feelings for him.
Kaede sighed in annoyance. "Rin, child, ye're embellishing what Lord Sesshomaru has told ye."
Rin only smiled and dropped down next to Kagome, "I know. It just doesn't sound as exciting to say that he's 'betrothed' to some woman he's never met for political reasons."
"Hnnn," Kaede made a sound of acquiescing.
Rin reached over and placed her hand on Kagome's belly. Kagome felt shocked, her hands flying up before she caught herself. She felt her cheeks burn and balled her hands into fists at her knees.
"Isn't this exciting? Both Lord Sesshomaru and Kagome will have families soon! I cannot wait for it. It makes Rin so delighted that Lord Sesshomaru will be an uncle and a husband," Rin gushed, reverting to her youthful speech mannerisms.
Kagome chuckled nervously and looked up to see Sesshomaru staring at her with those cold, golden eyes. The intensity was enough to make her want to crawl under a rock, but she could not concede anything here and now. She hadn't seen Sesshomaru since the night months ago, and now here he was in front of her, touting tales of a new woman and who knew what else. Suddenly Kagome felt incensed and stood up.
Rin looked up at her with concern, "What's wrong, Kagome?"
Kagome forced a smile at Rin, who was bright, loving, and talkative but oblivious to the tension beginning to permeate through the room. She would never admit that it emanated from her.
"Nothing is wrong, Rin. I am remiss about intruding on your time with Lord Sesshomaru. I know that it is not often he graces us with his presence, so I will leave you to catch up."
Rin's brow furrowed quizzically, and she looked over at Kaede, who only shrugged solemnly. Kagome bowed to Kaede, "I hope that salve helps you, Kaede. I will return later."
She then turned to Sesshomaru, for it would be rude not to address everyone in the room before leaving. "Congratulations again on your engagement, Lord Sesshomaru. May your union be a blessed one filled with happiness," she bowed towards him and quickly ducked from the hut.
Her mind began to run rampant. 'Who did he think he was coming here and touting his great news about a yokai mate? At least he would find someone as cold and unfeeling as he was, the bastard.'
She stomped off towards her home on the outskirts of the village, far and away from everyone.
A/N: Well, Shippo has made an appearance in the story, but there are no guarantees he will stick around. The life of a kitsune in training is a demanding one and often takes our lil' bud far away!
And finally, the Lord of the West also graces us with his presence, and he's going to what?!
Keep dropping those reviews! Even if you're binging the story, drop a line or two!
Thanks for reading! Until next time.