In a country house near Greenfield, a little girl watched – mouth open – as an Entei formed, and padded slowly towards her.

"Papa?" she asked. "Is that you?"

"I am whatever you wish me to be, Molly," Entei told her, and Molly stood up before doing her best to embrace the illusory Pokémon. "You can be whatever you wish to be."

"Then-" Molly began, thinking. "Then… I want as many friends as I can. Pokémon who are friends too, and who – and who are so strong they won't have to leave!"

Half-remembered snatches of Pokémon League battles on TV rippled across her mind, giving her wish substance. Her wish of never being alone again, of having Pokémon to be with her, of having family and friends and Pokémon all at once, and they catalyzed with the idea that a trainer could have any Pokémon.

The mysterious crystal spread outwards, faster and faster.

Then Pokémon began to take shape.

"I thought we were about to reach Goldenrod," Ash said. "Are we really not there yet?"

"Not yet, but we're out of the forest," Brock answered. "It should just be another day or two, depending on how long we spend training."

"That's good, I… guess?" Ash's voice trailed off. "Uh, Brock, what's that? Is that some kind of landmark?"

Brock saw which way Ash was looking. "What the-"

"I'm not sure what Brock's going to answer, but I think I know the answer," Pikachu said. "It's that expanding masses of glowing crystals aren't a normal feature of the Johto landscape!"

Misty shaded her eyes. "Are those… legendary Pokémon, appearing out of nowhere? What's going on?"

A long way away, in Dahara City, Hoopa laced their fingers together and cracked them.

"Hoopa is going to save the day!" they announced, and took both rings off their horns. "Allez-Hooparings!"

The rings spun out into the night, turning so they were flat to the ground and growing so they were fifteen feet across, and the bottom one shimmered before showing the sunlight of Greenfield.

Then the top one activated for a moment.

Kyogre fell through with a rumble of surprise and a massive splash of water, most of which went straight through the bottom portal along with the Water-type, and Hoopa switched off the top portal, routed it somewhere else and turned it on again as the destination of the bottom portal shifted.

This time it was Cobalion who fell through, and Hoopa got Virizion and Terrakion in less than three seconds before moving on to their next target.

"Everyone is welcome!" Hoopa added.

"I know I say this every so often, but… Ash, this is a new tier of ridiculous," Misty said. "It is literally raining Legendary Pokémon."

"Yeah, which is weird," Ash replied. "I guess Hoopa must think this is important… hey, Marshadow, got any ideas what's going on?"

The Ghost-type Pokémon jumped out of Ash's shadow and headed off towards the crystal valley.

"...I keep forgetting he's in there," Misty admitted. "Which is probably a point in his favour, really. He's polite and quiet."

Marshadow arrived back. "There are two kinds of Legendary Pokémon," he said. "Some of them are familiar, so I can tell that one type is the proper Legendary Pokémon; the other kind is made up of false Pokémon created by the Unown."

"The Unown can create fake Pokémon?" Ash said. "The most Mew ever said about them was that they were kind of weak by themselves and in groups usually just argued about grammar."

"Indeed," Marshadow confirmed. "However, in this case they are being driven by a young girl, and reacting to her wishes and dreams."

"Then I guess we need to go and see her, and ask her to stop before someone gets hurt," Ash decided, rummaging in his bag and putting things to the side as he pulled them out. He got through an emergency Super Potion, several lunchboxes, a dozen assorted Pokéballs, Zapdos' flight harness and Mew (who floated just on top of the pile) before finding what he was after and sweeping the rest back into his backpack.

"Hey, Giratina?" he asked, holding the mirror up. "I could use some help, if you're available?"

He tilted it a bit. "Huh, usually he's-"

A craaash shook the ground, as Giratina in his Altered Forme dropped out of a golden portal and landed directly behind the friends.

"I did not know Hoopa could reach into the Reverse World," he admitted. "Do any of you know what is going on?"

"What, precisely, is going on?" Cobalion asked, then winced as a Hyper Beam went past. "We are supposed to protect Pokémon from humans, or settle the differences between Pokémon… but I don't even know where to start!"

"I think we should start by protecting ourselves," Terrakion guessed. "Seems like a good approach to me."

"It's a good starting point," Virizion agreed, then looked up. "Wait, is that Keldeo?"

"Keldeo?" Cobalion repeated, whirling.

The Colt Pokémon landed next to them with a spray of water and a thud. "Hi, Cobalion, Virizion, Terrakion! Long time no see, sorry about that, I'm terrible at aiming Teleport!"

"We heard," Virizion said.

"Careful, Keldeo," Cobalion told him. "This is a dangerous battle. Stay where we can protect you-"

He was interrupted by a clattering crash as a Therian Landorus burst through some of the nearby crystal, and pounced.

"Kid!" Terrakion warned.

Keldeo dodged adroitly back, avoiding his opponent's first attack, then skipped to the side with a clatter of hooves and lit his horn with Sacred Sword. Landorus used Extrasensory, and Keldeo switched his blade from Sacred Sword to X-Scissor for just long enough that he could deflect the impact of the attack – then darted forwards, weaving around a claw strike and a tail hammer from his enemy to get inside their measure, and snap-kicked them twice in the side with an Aqua Jet.

The Landorus sprawled to the side, then dissolved into light, and Keldeo tossed his head.

"Come on!" he called. "They're made by the Unown – we need to help the real Pokémon here, they need our help!"

Virizion nudged Cobalion.

"Told you he'd be getting stronger," she said.

"...I didn't think it'd be that much stronger," Cobalion admitted. "Maybe it's not exactly helping that we mostly only spar against one another?"

"Okay, you heard Hoopa, when they bothered to explain!" said Moltres, his gaze taking in the other two Shamouti birds. "Those over there are crystal copies of us, and we're here to stop them!"

"Right!" Zapdos agreed.

"So… you mean we're all here, right?" Articuno checked. "And none of us are back home?"

All three birds exchanged glances.

"Dibs on Ice Island!" Moltres called, turning around and accelerating.

Before he'd got fifty feet, though, a golden portal appeared in front of him. Moltres was going too fast to stop, and he saw Dahara City for about a quarter of a second before ending up in Greenfield again facing towards the fake Legendary Birds.

Zapdos appeared through a similar redirection portal a second later, and Articuno not long after that.

"That doesn't change anything!" Moltres announced, turning around and starting to fly again.

Rayquaza looked at the ground.

There were two Kyogre.

And two Groudon.

And, overhead, another him.

And the Kyogre and the Groudon had teamed up… not real Pokémon against Unown-created fakes, but Continent Pokémon against Sea Basin Pokémon.

"You know what?" the Dragon-type said, pointing at the Unown-copy Rayquaza. "You're me now. Good luck with these idiots. I'm off for a drink."

"Ow," Reshiram mumbled. "Fusion Bolt hurts more than I remember."

"You should have waited until I'd used Fusion Bolt, then used Fusion Flare," Zekrom said, in the crater next to him. "That would have been the ideal strategy."

"I truly do not want to listen to your excuses," Reshiram declared.

"Well, ideally I would rather not be distracted by whether or not a Hero of Ideals was about a hundred feet away," Zekrom countered.

"Sort your arguing out," Kyurem advised, landing next to them. "Otherwise, I'll seriously consider becoming part of a trio with the Reshiram and Zekrom fakes. They seem like they would bicker less."

Giovanni turned off the news, and considered his options.

Then he buzzed his receptionist.

"I'm going to be unavailable for the next few hours," he informed her. "Please handle any calls."

With that, he opened his drinks cabinet.

"At last!" Jessie announced, running with an electric-proof bag over her shoulder that kicked and yowled. "We just needed to pick our moment!"

"And an easy target!" James agreed, with a waterproof bag slung over his own shoulder. It was big enough he was having trouble keeping up, but Muk and Weezing between them were managing to keep it off the ground.

"Turns out you just gotta pick the ones without Trainers!" Meowth finished, his own heatproof bag squeaking irregularly. "Now there's no way we'll be blastin' off again!"

The Zeraora that had been fighting his fake counterpart until thirty seconds ago stared in polite bafflement at the vanishing humans, then shrugged and lined up a punch.

"Take this!" he roared, and punched a fake Tapu Fini so hard it bounced off five other fake Legendary Pokémon.

"Watch it, clumsy!" Cresselia protested.

Four other fake Legendary Pokémon and Cresselia.

"It's not like anyone bothered to tell me which ones I was allowed to punch!" he shouted back. "I'm assuming anyone who doesn't complain is fair game!"

In Molly's bedroom, one of the crystals reflected a spectral Dragon. Then space tore open, and Ash walked out with Pikachu on his shoulder, a Solgaleo by his side and Marshadow leaning out of his shadow.

"So… this is where it started?" Ash asked, looking down at Marshadow.

"This is near the nexus of the Unown power," Marshadow answered.

The crystalline structure distorted slightly, making the ground tremble, and Ash looked around. "Huh, that's… probably not good."

"Why do we even do these things with you, Ash?" Misty asked, coming through the gap behind him.

"What are you doing?"

A teenager with an Entei by her side came running in through the nearest door, and clenched her fists. "You're doing something, it's wrong, it's making my head hurt!"

"That is really a young girl," Marshadow provided. "The body is a fake, and so is the Entei."

"Papa, make the big white Pokémon go away!" Molly demanded, and the fake Entei planted his paws and Roared.

The Solgaleo turned into Zorua, who squeaked and vanished into his Pokéball. Then the GS Ball burst open in a flare of white light, and Arceus landed there instead.

For several seconds, nobody said anything.

"...this wasn't supposed to happen for a few years yet," Arceus intoned, embarrassed. "What is even happening?"

"Huh," Ash said. "I guess we didn't try using Roar to force a Pokémon switch! That's an important scientific discovery, right?"

"I will be able to explain," Marshadow volunteered.

"One moment," Arceus intoned. "I will need to tell the Unown to stop this."

Outside, at the edge of the crystal landscape, Jessie, James and Meowth were clinging to one another.

"We should have known we wouldn't get out of this smoothly," Jessie lamented, staring up at the fake Dialga looming over them.

"You'd think we'd deserve something for all our hard work," James agreed.

"And it ain't even got the decency to let us have a fair fight," Meowth said, looking back at the time-frozen Weezing and Muk who'd been helping to carry the mini-Lugia bag, then blinked. "Hey, wait, dat's right!"

He pulled open the neck of the bag he was carrying, pulling out a Victini by its ears, and threw the Fire-type bodily at Dialga. "Meowth used Fling! It betta be effective!"

Victini began to glow.

"Get down!" James yelped, pulling his teammates to the ground, and there was an enormous explosion.

When it faded, Dialga was gone – and so were the contents of all three bags, and the entire crystal landscape around them.

"Muk?" Muk asked.

"You know, I don't think I remember the last time somthin' that was supposed to blow up blew up on time," Meowth mused, then groaned. "An' to think, for a short moment we had Victini in our grasp…"

"You mean… victory?" Jessie asked.

"Dat too," Meowth said, and then Muk shoved him aside to embrace James in happiness.

Marshadow finished explaining everything he knew about what had happened – his explanation repeatedly interrupted by Molly, in tears as she told her side of things. About a father who'd been researching the Unown and vanished, a mother who'd been sick for years, and a young girl who'd suddenly been offered an incredible chance and hadn't known the real cost.

"Don't worry," Ho-Oh announced, outside the window. "I can help."

Pikachu gave him a slightly confused look. "This has nothing to do with the weather."

"I'm not sure how that's relevant," Ho-Oh said, landing on the balcony and squeezing into the room. "Her mother's sick. I can help with that."

"What I mean is, you're a weather Legendary," Pikachu frowned. "Aren't you? I'm fairly sure that's what you do."

Ho-Oh furled his wings. "And this is about whether her mother is sick or not."

Giratina swam back up to the Reverse World portal. "I think I have worked out where Mr. Hale went."

"Can you get Mrs. Hale as well?" Ho-Oh requested. "She should be in a hospital."

The next several minutes were some of the most awkward any of those involved had ever experienced.

"All right, here we go," Ho-Oh declared, examining the bed on which Mrs. Hale slept. "Let's see if I get it right this time."

"Remember, father," Suicune said. "Female."

"I know, I know," Ho-Oh rumbled.

There was a flare of golden light, and when it faded there was a Mew lying on the bed instead.

Ho-Oh inspected his feathers. "I think these are stuck on cat."

Then the Mew rolled over, blinking sleepily, and caught sight of Molly. ...sweetie?

Molly's breath caught. "Mama? Is that you?"

Of course it's me, the Mew said. Who else would it… be?

She caught sight of her own paws.

A moment's morphological confusion later, there was a woman in the bed again.

"Mama!" Molly called, running over to embrace her.

"There you go," Ho-Oh declared. "No problems. Perfectly fine. Just remember to eat a diet rich in berries from now on."

While Molly was having her tearful reunion – one only made more endearing when her mother sneezed and briefly reverted to being a Mew again – Arceus had sidled over to the window as inconspicuously as was possible for the Creator of Everything.

"Uxie," they said. "Uxie. You had better be here."

"You've reached Mesprit," came a reply. "Uxie has been contacted. Please hold for Uxie."

Arceus tried not to tap their hooves in anticipation, listening absently to Zorua holding forth for the benefit of Mrs. Hale on how you could avoid making the wrong assumptions when assuming a false form.

"Uxie here," the Lake Guardian said, after a period of time that was shorter than it felt. "What do you need?"

"I'm going to need you to wipe their memories of the fact I came out of that Pokéball, after I've worked out how to go back in," Arceus said.

Ooh! Mew announced, popping out of Ash's backpack. I know all about Pokéballs! I do all kinds of things with them! Do you want one which-

Arceus was gone.

On the ground, the GS Ball trembled back and forth a bit, then stilled.

"...so, uh…" Ash began. "I heard Arceus saying something about erasing our memories?"

"That is correct," Uxie said.

Their tails raised up, and flashed red.

"Wait," Misty frowned. "What happened? I think I missed something."

"I think Arceus went back into the shiny gold ball!" Zorua said, looking around. "Is that what you mean?"

"Oh, huh!" Ash said. "I didn't know the GS Ball had Arceus in it!"

"The GS Ball had Arceus in it!?" Misty demanded.

"...Dark types," Uxie declared, in tones of deep irritation. "Well, whatever."

The GS Ball opened again, and Arceus rose into the heavens in a blaze of Aurora.

"Hey, wait!" Ash called, picking up the strange Pokéball. "You forgot this!"

"If I wanted that to happen I would have left it in Azalea Town," Arceus declared. "Keep it."

The hole in the sky closed up.

"...at this point, I want the largest dose of normal that is legally safe," Misty said. "Let's get to Goldenrod town, there's an entire Gym there that's about Normal."

"What do you think we should call that one?" Jessie asked. "A success? A qualified success?"

"Well, I don't remember qualifying for anything," James sighed. "Not even the Pokéathlon."

Jessie frowned. "Can you qualify for the Pokéathlon?"

"With a good enough costume, I could qualify for a Contest!" James declared. "As the Pokémon!"

He looked at their team, lounging around the Hikokyu's massive hospitality area.

"Though if we do want to do Contests in future, it might be a good idea to have some Pokémon who look… more fabulous," he tried. "Hmm… Meowth?"

"What?" Meowth asked. "I'm busy tryin' to work out how come we just got some bonus pay from da boss…"

Charizard flew low overhead, then dropped to land in front of Ash.

"Hey," he said. "Everything going okay?"

"Yeah, I caught several new Pokémon," Ash agreed. "Brock got a Pineco, too, though it kind of keeps exploding."

"Neat," Charizard declared. "Hey, Pikachu. Saw some stuff on the news with Legendary Pokémon in it, saw you in the corner of the screen, thought I'd check you were okay."

"Yeah, it all got sorted out pretty quick," Pikachu told him. "Misty came up with a neat new Water move a few days ago, I'm still working on a counter."

Charizard grinned. "And did Ash get himself in trouble yet?"

"Come on, Charizard," Ash protested, laughing. "How are things going for you, anyway?"

"Well, you know…"

As the conversation continued, Togepi looked at Squirtle.

"Charizard!" she cheered.

"I know," her teammate agreed. "Kind of wondered if he'd be back for good, but it sounds like he just popped in to check on us."

"Okay, Hoopa, I'm going to try to explain it one more time," Xerneas said. "Listen carefully."

The Legendary of Life bent down, looking closely at Hoopa. "Not all problems can be solved by adding Legendary Pokémon. Especially without telling them what you are doing."

Hoopa stared back blankly.

"Hoopa cannot think of a problem that enough Legendary Pokémon cannot solve," the djinni said. "If your problem has not gone away you are just not using enough Legendary Pokémon."

Xerneas sighed. "I've tried explaining this for hours. I give up."

"Does that mean we can go home now?" Terrakion asked. "I bet the kid's bored of waiting by now."

"...Terrakion," Cobalion asked. "Did you just imply that Keldeo went home by himself?"

"Yeah, he teleported," Terrakion answered. "Why?"

Virizion shook her head. "Oh dear… well, it sounds as though he's still a knight-errant, even though we did swear him in."

AN:

And that was the third movie.

Also, this fic now has a Trope page!