Drowning in Sorrow

Once the unbelievable tension had settled and everyone was able to return to their revelry, Gray made his way towards an empty booth. Kinana was quick to serve him his regular drink, deftly leaving it on the table and going off to serve the others without another word. A part of the ice mage couldn't fully grasp the fact that after all this time, he was back home in his as-of-late favorite spot like nothing had happened. Of course, the idea was easily broken with the way Lelei was enthusiastically asking how the magic of his friends worked or the way it can manifest in ways she had never seen before. She was like a kid in a candy store and the joyous thought fizzled out as he thought about how the teen would've reacted to see someone like Juvia who could use her magic to take the form of water.

He took a glance over towards the altar behind the bar counter and was glad to see that the flowers were still getting watered after he left. Gray worried about them since he forgot to mention it to anyone but was still grateful that either Kinana or Mira were looking after them. What a way for things to turn out for everyone, such minor things became so important to him while out fighting a war.

"I am rather curious at how well you seem to be doing given that a part of you was dreading to return to the guild and the memories." Zero spoke up and Gray let out a tired sigh at hearing his symbiotic partner inside his mind.

"I can dread it all I want, doesn't change the fact that I've got to come home at some point." Gray replied, making sure that no one else caught him talking to himself.

"Quite the turnaround for you, I must say. I recall how you cursed my name, your very existence and what you considered as a "worthless" acquired magic for months after the death of your lover." Zero understood certain buttons were being pushed and knew it was the only way that the ice mage would be honest with himself once irritated.

"Who's to say that I've moved past that. Besides, I've decided to get along with you long ago and your part of the magic is only ever used to strengthen my maker magic." Gray had come to accept that when it came to what sort of title he'd hold now that he wielded three types of magic, it would be that of an Ice Make mage in the end.

"No need to remind me, I'm well aware of your feelings towards the Devil Slaying magic you've inherited." Zero couldn't really forget for the most part as Gray's rant against this power had really left an impression on it. "And you are still aware that you haven't used this power to its fullest potential yet, correct?"

"If it took the death of one of the closest people in my life to get a taste of it, then you can bet I'll just stick to the basics when needed." The ice mage couldn't find the point in a magic that required so much tragedy just to work, which was the near opposite of Ur's teachings of Ice Make.

"Your father didn't have much in the way of reserve for this power, you know. If he hadn't discovered that you lived after Deliora's attack, then he'd have had enough power to challenge Mard Geer directly with just a bit more time." Zero could recall the day so easily when Silver faltered in his conviction of destroying all of Tartarus once he caught sight of his son in the Capital. "This power is a legitimate threat, why else do you think Mard Geer wanted him to be a part of Tartarus?"

"Don't even go there, we both know he was a broken man that wasn't allowed to die in peace with his family by the very demons that took them away. He was a good man that loved his family and wanted to make sure that those who took their lives would pay severely for it." If the roles were reversed, Gray was more than sure that he'd have done the same thing. "Also, if Devil Slaying Magic is such a threat, then why doesn't it compare to Dragon Slaying Magic?"

"Why are you still hung up with an inferiority complex?" The ice mage could hear both the sarcasm and edge to Zero's voice, it looks like he hit a nerve. "Have you ever thought that perhaps this power was specifically built for war? Who am I kidding, you obviously wouldn't since civilizations of old had recorded the history of humanity's fight against the dragons but completely ignored the wars between Devils."

"Still doesn't answer my question since Dragon Slaying Magic was also made for war." Gray pointed out since he was made aware of the history behind the Lost Magic. "Face it, this power was outshined and possibly outclassed by Dragon Slaying Magic back then and even today."

"You ungrateful brat, how could you say such a thing about your gift?" Mock hurt laced Zero's voice and Gray rolled his eyes as his inherited magic may as well be called Forgotten Magic. "You avoid this power like a plague and then go on to complain why it can't match up to that of your dragon slaying friends, why? Because you think that it's unfair that you need to go through more hoops just to reach the greater wealth of power hidden away?"

"Not even close, it's because this magic is the embodiment of tragedy and I've tried my hardest to avoid more of it before you came into the picture." Gray replied firmly as he hadn't forgotten that Zero somewhat struggles with human emotions aside from the negatives. "Tragedy brings you to the user, tragedy empowers you and tragedy is the catalyst to access the fullest extent of that power. You Devils really figured out how to effectively use your strengths to the fullest, even when "helping" humans with your power."

"Came to that conclusion all by yourself? We had worshippers in the days of Old who prayed and begged us for power, and we obliged when tragedy struck them by a rival Devil, we simply gave them a means to turn their pain into power to use against their tormentors." Quite the revelation, but it still paints the picture that the Devils still manipulated the down-trodden for their own gain during war in Gray's opinion.

"You enabled their revenge and gained foot soldiers to become another thorn in the sides of your enemies, totally arguing my case right there." Gray said as he reclined into his seat unsurprised by the cutthroat realm of Devils and yet was curious how Tartaros managed to work with each other for so many years.

"Spare me this "holier than thou" attitude you've been harping about lately, Gray, since I could care less about your moral standings. Like humans, we did what needed to be done for our own benefit so be proud that you use this power for other people's benefit."

"After all this time, I'm starting to think that maybe Brandish is right, maybe I should take a break from the Special Region." Gray said more to himself as his conversation with Zero became more of a chore to him than usual. "Or maybe I shouldn't involve myself so deeply into the things happening over there as I've been doing. Let things run their course, it'll work itself out."

"I said drop the attitude, not give up on everything. History is going to be made and I've got the feeling your name's going to get written in it, but you need to keep playing an active part in all this. When it's all over and we return home for good then I know Devil Slaying magic will be given justice."

"I doubt that since it'll die with me, and it might happen sooner than either of us would've thought." Gray replied and before Zero could come up with a reply, the ice mage felt a hand smack him upside the head as a stern looking brunette plopped down across from him.

"Jinxing yourself like that won't help anything either, you know." Cana said as her serious face gave the ice mage pause as she has hardly made that face at him before. "I get this war is probably eating you inside and Zero isn't helping any but talking like that doesn't sit right with me."

"Just going off a comment I heard being passed around about some death wish I supposedly have; I'm not saying anything concrete." Gray defended and Cana looked at him wearily before resting her cheek on her hand with a shake of her head.

"I really want to believe that Gray, but I've been keeping track of you for a while now and that death wish comment was made for a reason. You're my best friend and I'm worried that this war is going add to the toll you've already been put through." Cana's expression softened and the ice mage couldn't fault her for caring since their history can speak about how well they trusted each other.

"War's bound to do that to people but I get the feeling that you might start telling me that I'm using this war as a way to ignore the pain here." Gray motioned his hand to emphasize the guild as his location while Cana slowly averted her gaze from the ice mage's. "Guess I wasn't wrong then."

"Aren't I allowed to worry? I heard that the very first thing you fought was a fire dragon and now you've brought people way above the usual weirdos of the guild, except the shorty with blue hair who can kinda fits in." Cana said as she wouldn't believe him if he said that these things weren't big enough distractions. "And now Gildarts' pissed with the girls you brought because they started this."

"To be fair, Pina's old man is responsible." Gray said as Cana gave him another look that she was being serious.

"My point is that you are actively trying to make sure none of our guests notice the fact that you can't bother putting up a smile in the guild. I noticed how the very first thing you looked at when you walked in was the altar, I didn't need to read my cards to know that she was still on your mind while you were over there."

"I'm good at hiding my feelings, but I guess that's meaningless when you've mastered the way to truly read people through cards or otherwise." Gray commented with a crestfallen expression towards his now forgotten drink, looking at the murky reflection with a tired sigh. "I saw the broken hearts of many people on the other side, I could empathize with them and yet I was selfish for just thinking of only my pain and her."

"Don't think of it like that, in the moment that that happened you were caught up in their emotions and it reminded you of how you've been affected." Cana offered as she understood that Gray was far more susceptible to such negative emotions thanks to his other magic.

"You're right, just that it's been hard to show some other kind of emotion after getting pummeled by so many negative ones for weeks already. If there's something she taught me, it's that the storm will break eventually." Gray said as he recalled an old conversation they had when they were training with each other for six months.

"What worries me is that you may not be there to see it break and the last thing I want to do is add more to an already full altar." Cana admitted and the ice mage knew where she was coming from as the altar was already one too many photos filled.

"For as much as I've got going on in my head, I'm not about to give up on myself anytime soon. She gave me another chance like Ur did and I'm not wasting it." Gray wouldn't take sacrifice lightly, but it didn't mean he couldn't hurt on the inside because of it.

"That's good to hear, so how about we make the first step in getting you to live your life by addressing Juvia by her name." Cana said and the ice mage tried his best not to show his own confliction at doing that, but he could assume that he failed by the way his friend eyed him.

"Yeah, we can start with that..." Gray replied as he leaned back into his seat and Cana rolled her eyes at the noncommittal tone he had.

"Calling her by her name is the first step I want you to take because it's high time that you get past that whole thing with Gajeel. The guy could hate your guts, but he can't keep you away from who she was." Cana was the first person at Gray's side after Gajeel had laid into him and was the only one who willingly drew magic when she noticed Natsu and Laxus struggle to hold the iron dragon slayer.

"She's got a point, you wanted to respect his wishes, but he's made it abundantly clear that he has no inclination of caring about your respect."

"You loved Juvia in your own way, just as much as she loved you. He has no right on impeding on you loving her memory, so make this your first step and move forward."

"Sometimes I wish you weren't right most of the time, but this isn't one of those times." Gray said as he took a huge swig of his drink as he gave long look to the smiling face of a woman long gone, "she told me how I brought a true smile to her face after so many years of pain, so it's high time I start smiling for her. To Juvia!" Gray toasted as Cana raised her mug in turn and both took long swigs of their drinks.

"Looks like I came just in time, huh?" Came the voice of Gildarts as he stood before the booth Gray and Cana were seated at, the brunette visibly getting ready to be snuggled by her doting father. "Sweetheart, if you wouldn't mind, I need to have a chat with Gray."

"Uh, sure..." Much to both their confusion, Cana waved a goodbye to Gray as neither had expected for the Crush mage to focus on someone else other than his daughter.

"The doting father asking the beloved child to leave? I've got a feeling that this is going to get serious my troubled friend."

"If you're asking for Cana to leave, then I guess you must be serious." Gray commented as the brunette disappeared into the crowd and her father gave a tired sigh as he crossed his arms.

"I have to be, you lot are soldiers now and you've brought the other world with you." Gildarts said as he took his daughter's original spot as he eyed the ice mage.

"Everything's circumstantial, one thing led to another and next thing we're doing is being the vanguard to Fiore's combined forces." Gray said as he noticed the grimace on the older man deepen slightly before he shook his head.

"I'm well up to speed about that, what bothers me is that there's problems springing up because of it. More specifically, between you and Natsu." Gray reeled back slightly at the accusatory finger Gildarts was giving him before looking him straight in the eye.

"And I'm sure you're up to speed about that too, right?" Gray rhetorically asked as the orange haired man shifted his gaze away from him and into the crowd.

"Can't really say I've read a book if I only know half the story, so tell me about the missing half."

Gray watched the older man lean back into his seat and knew that he was willing to hear everything he was willing to tell. The ice mage was naturally hesitant about speaking of his personal feelings about everything that's happened, but a fleeting thought of Cana's words rang in his mind, and he decided to take that step. From there, Gray went on to recount his side of the battle to regain Crocus, exploring the Special Region and meeting the others. He did touch upon playing diplomat for a bit and the dragon as well, but a part of him figured Natsu would've already said something about that.

"Thanks for catching me up about your side of things Gray, but I didn't ask about that."

"What do you mean, you wanted my half of the story and that's what I told you." Gray defended as he specifically gave the Crush mage what he asked for.

"When I said to tell me about your half, I meant about this divide you and Natsu created between yourselves. The one you both are so entrenched in that you refuse to acknowledge the other if it didn't involve getting into a fight."

"I don't get what more there is to say; he thinks to one extreme, and he believes I think on the opposite extreme. We've been like this for years, but this war has ramped that up beyond the next level."

"Have you ever considered why that is? Forget your history for a moment and take a step back to think why Natsu's acting like this." Gildarts advised as Gray took a moment to think over his words and tried replaying every interaction they had after first landing in Crocus.

"I've seen the atrocities firsthand; I know what that can do to a person. I hate to admit it, but I know Natsu's tough enough to take it all in and use it to motivate himself. It's the only thing I could think of that could've affected him though I don't believe that would be enough."

"The dragon slayer blasted a large contingent away within an army of ten thousand after all, death shouldn't be much of a factor at this point."

"Are you sure? What's to say that those poor souls were a pain even Natsu wasn't prepared to handle in his life?" Gildarts posed his own rhetorical question to Gray, and the ice mage couldn't bring himself to believe that the deaths of others pained Natsu more than motivated him.

"I just can't picture it." Gray admitted since he's seen the over energetic fireball bounce back from terrible things and rise to meet every deadly challenge before him.

"And that's why no one else is aware of the pain Natsu is actually in." Gray had to give Gildarts a quizzical look as he couldn't believe what he had just heard. "You and many others are guilty of only ever seeing Natsu as this infallible mage who could be brought down but would never admit nor accept defeat. His victories speak for themselves that even he had thought that he could keep climbing the pillar of power without needing to mind any loose footholds. But what happens when everything you've got doesn't even matter?"

"A part of you loses hope..." Gray answered solemnly as he looked down at his right arm and the tingling presence of Zero somewhere in his head.

"So this feeling you've been holding onto for so long was hopelessness and here I thought it was defeatism." Surprisingly enough, Gray could tell that Zero was mostly talking to itself than commenting to the ice mage.

"Yes, because what's the point of all your power if you couldn't even save a life." Gildarts replied evenly as he took in the sight of the ice mage, no doubt aware of where the younger mage's mind wandered to. "What they did on that dreaded day did more damage than anyone could've ever imagined. For once, I think an enemy had caused one of the strongest mages around to feel helpless."

"Natsu, helpless? Two words I'd never had thought possible in the same sentence when talking about him." Gray said as the dragon slayer was a bottomless pit of optimism who could see hope in any situation.

"Nothing's impossible these days and now you must understand that Natsu's lashing out because for the first time, someone actually brought him to his knees." Gildarts said with such a foreboding tone that the ice mage felt that he was receiving a warning.

"But he's still standing, fighting much harder and fiercer than ever before. A bit of a far cry from being "brought to his knees" if you ask me."

"It's what he wants you to see, but the truth is that every moment he's not in combat is a moment where his mind wonders at what horror he'd have to face if any of those terrible things happened to his friends. Being forced to feel such helplessness and see what such inaction could lead to has ultimately traumatized him, but luckily it hasn't debilitated him."

"Why are you telling me this, this is stuff Natsu would've trusted you not to say to anyone. Especially me of all people." Gray said as the older mage's words were sounding too close to personal information, something he didn't have the right to know.

"Because I want you to help him, Gray. You suffered an experience that traumatized you and yet, you are standing tall after all these years and faced your demons. He needs that sort of guidance to help heal a wound that only grows the longer this war lasts, and I don't look forward to the future where he doesn't have someone in his corner."

"I had years to recover and someone who supported me ever since I first opened up about my problems. This isn't some easy fix that could be done in just a few days, let alone a few months."

"I'm aware, I'm asking you to help him get through this. Not for the sake of keeping him a stable part of the war machine, but for his own life when this is all over." Gray knew that Gildarts did his best to keep people's interest in mind and someone as close to him as Natsu makes his request more important.

"I don't know Gildarts; he needs to ask for my help or else he'll completely blow me off if I make the first move. Cana was there for me when I finally told her, but I made the decision first to be open and she was willing to listen." If the older mage believed he could help the dragon slayer, then Gray wouldn't disappoint him but there are ways to go about this.

"I understand that, but we both know that so long as this little feud of yours keeps going, the less likely Natsu will make the attempt for your help." What Gildarts said was valid, the problem was that Gray wasn't going to give up his convictions when it concerned all the killing that has happened.

"If that's the case, then he'll have to bury the hatchet with me on why all the killing he's done isn't completely justified. The problem going into that is that there is some form of justification for doing so and with supporters all around us, it'll be tough for him to understand that it's wrong overall." Gray replied since there isn't anyone outside the Crocus who wouldn't agree to the fact that Natsu is fighting extremely hard and paying back for every life the Empire had taken for them.

"That may be true, but it's also true that you could be the one to take the first step and offer peace in your personal ideological battle." Gildarts offered as Gray could only feel puzzled at the idea of him having to settle things first when the dragon slayer started this. "Above all Gray, Natsu is hurting and I'm sure that a part of him is afraid to ask anyone for help. Moreso now than ever before because he's being looked up to as a blazing inferno in the darkness of this war."

"Why me? I get that I can relate closely to what Natsu went through, but shouldn't you be going to someone like Gramps about this? If there is anyone that fireball respects and listens to right off the bat, it would be him." Gray knew he didn't want to disappoint Gildarts' faith in him to help, but the ice mage had to admit that there is a possibility that he'd do more harm than good.

"I would've gone to him, but Natsu knows that as soon as the Old Man catches wind of this, he'll do everything in his power to pull Natsu out of the fight and get him the help he needs. That's something a lot of people don't want to happen, and it would make Natsu even more restless than ever" Gildarts made a compelling argument, and the ice mage received an answer for his counter points, but he was still hesitant to do this. "I believe in you Gray; you may still be hurting from what happened in our last war, but I know that wanting to help others is a lesson deeply engrained in your heart."

"Quite a surprise, the Ace actually knows something quite personal about you. Moreover, he's being earnest with his request and by your memories, he's hardly ever been this way with anyone before. Honestly Gray, give his suggestion a chance as I'm doubtful you can cause things to spiral just for trying."

"Okay, if he comes to me for help then I'll be a bit more willing to put our feud to rest." Gray had his reserves, but Zero was right when he said that the Crush mage was being earnest. Something that was very telling when it came to the people he cared about and a part of him knew Gildarts was doing what was best for everyone. "But don't bring up the Alvarez bit again, believe me I know everyone's well aware of it just as much as I am."

"Since I'm asking something quite important of you, let me help you too." Gildarts offered and as well-meaning as the orange haired man was, Gray didn't believe that there was really something he can say that he hasn't heard before.

"I know it's been years since Juvia died and I know that I need to start letting go of this guilt I've got bit by bit if I want to ever move on, so I've got an idea of what you might say already." Gray said and Gildarts let out a small sigh as a soft small came to his face.

"Actually, I was going to say that I know how hard it is to lose the love of your life. Everyone is trying to offer words of encouragement but it's hard to hear them when you feel like a part of yourself has died alongside the person you cared about the most." Gildarts began as Gray was caught off guard by his words, feeling slightly embarrassed for jumping to conclusions.

"Sorry, I guess... I just thought..."

"Remember Gray, you're trying to better handle your emotions and allowing yourself to be swept up by what had bothered you before doesn't help. At this point, it would be best for you to listen and learn."

"Don't sweat it Gray, but like I was saying; when this sort of thing happens, we've all got some regrets that pop up because we failed that special person in some way." Gray was about to say something before the Crush mage raised his hand to stop him. "I know that you feel like it was your fault for getting into that trap and for Juvia's sacrifice but don't let that distract you from the fact that her love for you meant more to her than her life."

"But that's the regret I have, Gildarts. I've accepted the things that led up to Invel's trap and have slowly come to accept Juvia's actions but it's her reason that haunts me." Gray would hardly admit to this outright, but something about the father/daughter duo had a charm to them that allowed him to speak from his heart. "It took so long for me to admit my feelings to her, after treating her the way I did and when I could finally accept them, I get her killed."

"And that regret is all too common, hindsight gets the best of us, and we never appreciate all the good things we have. I'm sure you know why Cana came to the guild by now, but have you ever wondered what it was like for me?" Gray gave himself a moment and realized that he never really thought about the way Gildarts felt about Cana's mother since the first time meeting the Crush mage was when he was busy flirting with a pair of guards.

"I never really gave it a thought; I sort of believed that you were just estranged from Cana's mom before she passed away." That was Gray's best answer concerning Gildarts' personal life and he was surprised to see him slightly crestfallen before he straightened himself out.

"Far from it, I loved her mother more than anything, but it was because of that love that I lost sight of what was important. Her name was Cornelia, and she was something special right from the very moment I met her. Sure, she couldn't stand how aloof I was, and I couldn't get around how knowledgeable she was but the more I got to know her, the more I fell in love with her."

"So, what part of your love for her actually drove you away from her?" If Gildarts was anything like the doting father he is to Cana, then Gray could assume that he would be practically inseparable from his wife.

"For a woman so full of life in my eyes, Cornelia's health wasn't always the best and she grew ill often. The costs for her health were hefty, but I wouldn't let that get in the way of our happiness and took as many requests as I could to cover the costs. She was dear to me more than anything in my life and I vowed that I would never lose her, but that vow was what drove me away."

"To keep the woman you loved, you had to be away from her. You got caught up trying to help her that everyone else began depending on you instead and put you out on jobs." Gray concluded and the Crush mage gave him a nod as he reclined into his seat.

"The one thing I feared was losing Cornelia to her illnesses, but I was blinded by that concern that I hadn't realized that those limited times I could be with my wife weren't enough. I had one last night with her before a request took me away for a month and by the time I got back, I was alone."

"That's when people said that you both became estranged, when she left you." People talk and old gossip tends to turn up so Gray was aware of such talk in his early years at Fairy Tail, Gildarts old flirting ways weren't much help either.

"I knew that we both loved each other, but it was through the last letter she left for me that I learned the truth. She had her own fears of our life together, mainly what would I do if her health would someday take her. It didn't help that me leaving on such long requests meant that I could be away from her if it ever happened. Then came the fear of what would she do if I never came home, for as much as Fairy Tail would be there for her, she couldn't think of living her life without me in it."

"So, your wife made the decision that was the best for the both of you?" Gildarts gave Gray a mirthless smirk at his question as a far-off look came to his face.

"It was never for the best for either of us, but it was for the better since she knew neither of us could live without the other. She chose distance over heartbreak and took the reserved funds I gave her for her medical expenses, leaving me with my regrets and an empty home." It would've been stupid of Gray to ask why he still loved her after that as he could tell that the orange haired man could never hate the woman that made him a better man.

"You tried to distract yourself from her, huh?"

"I never stopped thinking about Cornelia and always hoped she was doing great wherever the wind took her until I found out she passed away. A part of me felt true heartbreak and death as I looked at her gravestone, life itself just felt empty again and for a while it was. I was flirty because I wanted to feel something and to make it seem that everything was all right with me, I lied to myself so that the pain would disappear, but it never worked until I had a run in with a bratty ice mage and an over the top dragon slayer."

"How did we help you get past it? We were just kids when you met us."

"You two were something special; Natsu reminded me about a time where I wouldn't give up on what I cared about the most, while you helped show me that moving forwards in the face of hardship is well worth it. Though I will say that Cana brought it full circle."

"When she came clean on Tenrou, huh?"

"I learned that her mother sent her to Fairy Tail when she died and figured that it was the place where she could be taken care of and grow stronger, but the moment when she admitted to being my daughter was when I could finally see my Cornelia in person again."

"But why didn't you notice it earlier?" That confused Gray since Cana's looks hadn't varied much after hitting her mid-teens, besides the increased use of alcohol and less clothing.

"Probably because I could never picture anyone else to be like my Cornelia or that I didn't want to think about moving on from her, but Cana is my everything now. I could never get those years of unintentional neglect back, but I've learned from my mistake and do my best not to be too far from her."

"Explains why you're such a doting father, but I don't think I can relate to you like that." Gray was grateful for the insight on Gildarts' past but didn't know how it could apply to himself.

"My point is that though you're held down by your regrets, you must learn to accept them as part of your life and allow other experiences to help heal you on many levels. You're young Gray, there's so much life left for you to explore and as much as you and Juvia cared about each other, don't bog down her memory by being stuck in the past. The people who love us dearly will always want us to be happy even when they're gone, something that took too many years for me to learn but a conversation for you to find out."

"Then... are you happy?" Gray posed a question after all that Gildarts had told him and truly wondered if the Crush mage had found peace with his past.

"I will always love my wife and honor her by giving Cana just as much of my love as Cornelia and I would've given her together. I will always be mournful about losing her, but you brats and Cana have helped fill a hole I thought could never go away. In some way, you can say that I am happy after all this time despite what happened."

Silence befell the two, Gray trying his best to figure out how best to take in everything Gildarts told him, and it felt like happenstance that it all seemed to click in his mind. Ever since losing his parents and Ur, Gray could never really grow pass the loss and found himself so consumed by shortcomings and personal failures that the ice mage struggled to see the significant milestones he's made in life. For all the loss that the ice mage had suffered over the years, it had blinded him to all that he's gain in that same amount of time and a part of Gildarts previous words rang a familiar bell to him. His sadness and self-loathing made him forget one of the most precious memories that both inspired him and haunted him for so many years when he was a kid, the same one he failed to live his life by.

"Looks like you finally remembered your master's words to you on the day she sealed Deliora away. She sealed away your darkness for your future, she wanted you to be happy even if it meant sacrificing herself." Gray was silent for a few more moments, seeing the error of his previous behavior and his attempts to block Ur's profound words.

"Thanks for the perspective, Gildarts. Looks like you and Cana know how to reinforce each other's points. Which means I should be serious on making significant changes to how I see my place in the world after my losses." Gray finally said after a time as the pressure within his chest that appeared every time he looked at Juvia's photo on the altar lessened. "Looks like you do have your moments of being a great father, Gildarts."

"I do my best these days, but don't go calling me "Dad" any time soon, that's reserved for Cana." Gildarts joked back since he caught on to Gray's attempt to lighten the mood a bit after such a deep conversation.

"Not unless I marry Cana that is." Gray cheekily replied as the Crush mage looked like he was about to have a panic attack.

"Hold the lacri-phone, Gray! I said to accept your regrets and move forward but you're moving on too fast! Not to mention with my Cana of all girls, you're a hundred years too early to be proposing to my daughter!" Gildarts' shock at Gray's words and his "Protective Dad" mode made an otherwise private looking conversation an interest point to some nearby parties as the subject matter sounded quite interesting.

As Gildarts fumbled through a few more words, Gray let out a genuine laugh at the older mage's reaction to an otherwise cheeky joke about the one person the Crush mage would fly off the handle for. It took a moment for the sensation to really settle in for the ice mage, looking back at how rare it was for him to laugh and how sparse his noncommittal chuckles had become over the past few years and especially because of this war.

"Calm down Gildarts or else you'll give people funny ideas." Gray said as he regained his composure while the older mage was still trying to come up with more reasons as to why he couldn't go on to marry Cana.

"Too late, what's this I've been told about getting married to Gray and you denying him?" A stern crossed armed Cana said as she looked like she was looming over the booth the two men were sitting at. "Last I checked, I'm a grown woman who could make her own decisions. Doesn't matter if you approve of them or not."

"So, you are getting married to Gray?!" Gildarts questioned in fear as small tears pooled at the corners of his eyes, like a child being reprimanded by his mother.

"Of course not! I'm just saying that at some point it'll happen with someone I meet, and you need to learn to accept my decision on whether I accept or deny that person's proposal in the future." Cana chided as Gildarts went through various emotions as she spoke from elation at her not getting married to one of being glum as his daughter was scolding him.

"And you..." Cana said as she shifted her attention to the ice mage, a pointed finger a few inches away from his face, "Gray, you know how my Old Man gets with jokes like that and Mira of all people won't let me hear the end of it for a week straight." She said and she'd have more weight to her claim had Gray not noticed the reddening at the tip of her ears.

"Come on Cana, it's all just innocent fun. No harm done." Gray replied but avoided her gaze as she steeled her expression with annoyance.

"For you maybe, but after telling me what she overheard, Mira wouldn't stop humming "Here Comes the Bride" when I started making my way here." Fair point, Gray knew that Mira tends to take some jokes seriously when they pique her matchmaker interests, and this joke might've set a few things off in the white-haired woman's mind.

"In that case, why don't you take the culprit who let her know about the joke to explain this misunderstanding?" Gray offered as Cana pulled Gildarts to his feet by his sleeve, his childish glum look still plastered on his face.

"Good idea and when we're done with that, maybe I'll come back to you and make sure you learn your lesson on pulling those kinds of jokes on Gildarts." Cana said evenly as she dragged Gildarts away as a smile now plastered itself across Gray's face.

As the pleas for Cana's forgiveness began to fade away and blend in with the usual ruckus of the guild, Gray was left to his thoughts once again and this time he wasn't that displeased with Zero's presence at the corner of his mind. Why he had yet to say anything was beyond Gray, but he wouldn't mind enjoying the silence a bit longer as he swirled his almost forgotten drink. His murky reflection showed him that that smile he was adorning was fading back into a neutral expression, but the feelings behind it remained and the ice mage truly wondered how long it had been since he's seriously laughed at something.

"By this nostalgic feeling in your mind, perhaps it's been too long since you last enjoyed some form of humor." Zero finally said as Gray merely let his eyes wander the guild hall, really taking in the place he's called home rather than keeping his head hung low.

"Maybe I just couldn't find anything to lift my spirits." Gray replied as he watched Happy excitedly explain various things about their world to an ever-curious Lelei, whose neutral expression was betrayed by the wonderment in her eyes.

"Perhaps your words about the Fairy Tail Ace reflect your personal beliefs, perhaps he has qualities you missed from your own father." Gray shook his head at what Zero just said and gave a lighthearted scoff at the terrible assessment.

"Gildarts is a good man trying to make up for past mistakes, but if I wanted a father figure then it would no doubt be Gramps. He practically raised most of my generation and his grandson, so I believe he'll be remembered to be just as great as Mavis is." Gray replied and though the Crush mage had qualities of a decent role model, there were still a few of his mistakes the ice mage wouldn't commit now that he's been steered onto the right path.

"Then my understanding of human beliefs and sentiments still needs work, nothing new I suppose. Although to comment on recent events, based on my observations on your emotional state; even for a joke, you weren't completely opposed at the idea of marrying the Ace's daughter." It seemed that Gray found a way to choke on air as he was caught off guard by Zero's other assessment, which was ill timed after Gray had just gone through an entire bonding conversation on the importance of acceptance.

"There are some things you need to keep to yourself, that was one of them. I'm taking steps to really branch out of the past and what you just said sounded like I was ready to catapult into the next chapter of my life. I'm willing to make amends, ready to support others but falling in love is still beyond me, okay?"

"And here I carelessly believed that you'd come around to accepting truths, how foolish of me." Zero said in the most deadpan voice Gray's ever heard in his opinion, but he couldn't help the feeling that if he had a face then Zero would have the smuggest look ever, "I can at least believe that for once in this nonstop cycle you've been going through over these past years, you're no longer drowning in your own sorrows."

Gray was about to give him some annoying quip before he really thought about his words and looked at his reflection in his mug once again, a thoughtful face staring right back at him.

"You know what, maybe you're right. It really does feel like I've finally come up for air." Gray gave another look towards Juvia's photo and felt the corners of his mouth lift slightly, enjoying the new sensation of peace that came from it.