Chapter 53: The Original Petunia

Lily Potter was worried. Two universes, two worlds, two individuals in her personal life. Something bad was happening to them both, and she was powerless to help them. And to think, one of them, she didn't feel too much inclination to help.

In Severus' new world, Remus was being confronted in his tame, but nevertheless terrifying werewolf form by one Regulus Black, his brother bringing up the rear too late. Lily was terrified that Severus, Sirius, James and Dumbledore would be forced to keep Regulus quiet just as Severus had been fated to. She didn't wish for someone else to feel the same form of injustice, but it seemed that it was either Regulus or Remus. And it was Remus that Lily was primarily concerned for. If Regulus exposed his secret, he faced not just expulsion but possible euthanasia.

Lily was only juggling these concerns with another occurrence in her original world, the world her son still resided in.

Today, Harry Potter was at a London hospice and consoling a distinctively overweight of a similar age to him. He looked awkward and stunned, conflicted on how he should be feeling. After all, the woman made his life hell, and made it clear to Lily since they were nine and eleven respectively that she was dead to her. Harry had understood her jealousy at being denied a whole new world that undoubtedly and undeniably had more excitements and achievements to explore in life, but he couldn't bring himself to condone her hatred. Not to him, nor to his mother. And yet now here he was, comforting his cousin who was about to endure the pain of being parentless, like Harry.

Petunia Dursley was dying.

Lily herself was unsure how to feel about the death of her elder sister. She had always loved her, even after she cast her out of her life after being denied the Wizarding World that Lily received on a silver platter. But when she died, she saw everything that Petunia did to Harry and everything she didn't do for him. She had been so embittered at her sister and at magic in general, that she couldn't bring herself to love a little orphaned baby, even her nephew.

And all because he had what she could never have, thought Lily coldly.

Unlike Petunia Evans from Severus' new world, the original Petunia Dursley had never gotten over the rejection letter from Dumbledore. And on top of it, she took out all of her hatred on Lily whilst she was alive as she was the only witch she could actually interact with. Lily understood her pain, but not how she could have so easily have turned her back on her, considering how close they had once been before Severus appeared in their lives. She felt that it also had to do with Lily's more radiant looks that Petunia didn't inherit. She was attractive but certainly not as beautiful as her younger sister. This theory was practically confirmed when her alternate self had her first outburst at the new Lily Evans some years ago.

Lily looked on when she saw that Harry and Dudley were requested for by Petunia herself, much to her surprise.

In her hospital deathbed, suffering bowel cancer, Petunia weakly looked to her son with affection that rivalled Lily's love for her own son. On the other hand, the look she bestowed upon Harry was awkward yet not hateful; more indifferent.

"Diddykins," she coughed weakly.

"Hi, Mum," murmured Dudley between wheezy sobs.

"The grandchildren are well?"

"Yes, Mum…but they're gonna be heartbroken," replied her son.

"Well, they will always have my love, sweetie," smiled Petunia.

Lily felt sick inside. Why couldn't she have ever been this loving and kind towards Harry? When she was talking about non-magical children, she was a totally different woman. The woman she, Lily, always wanted in her life, but never saw again since she was nine.

"Harry's here too, Mother, wanted to say goodbye too," murmured Dudley awkwardly.

"I can see that," said Petunia with a harsher tone, though it resulted in a cough that sounded about as agonising as Lily's inner turmoil.

Harry approached slowly and respectfully, half-tempted to taunt his wicked aunt, but knowing why she hated him and his mother, and feeling certain that Lily wouldn't approve, he remained silent and stiff-lipped.

"You came, you had better let out your demons now while you still can," insisted Petunia impatiently.

"I didn't come here to gloat," said Harry, "I came to say goodbye, like your son has."

"I know you have a lot on your chest: all those awkward family reunions. Not that I could ever call your kind my family!"

"Sounds like you're the one getting your demons off your chest, Aunt Petunia," said Harry crossly. "Even on your deathbed, you're still unable to control your hate of me and my mum."

"You two freaks have been the bane of my existence for my entire life, even when you moved on with your own kind."

"And you were the bane of my childhood!" said Harry sternly. "You locked me up in a cupboard under the stairs! Like a rabid dog! You barred me from my true heritage! You never gave me any form of love! Just cos you were jealous! All of it on your part was simply down to the fact that I had magic and you never did!"

"LIAR!"

Petunia wheezed and choked, and Dudley rushed to lay her down and plump up her pillows to help her breathe better. Harry immediately felt regret for letting his resentment overpower his emotions. It was always a pity to him that he never succeeded in learning Occlumency. Even without his connection to Voldemort, he struggled when he asked Kingsley Shacklebolt to help him train at the Ministry. He was simply incapable of perfecting the skill that Albus Dumbledore and Severus Snape so wonderfully coveted.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Leave me with him for a moment, please, Dudders," whispered Petunia once she had exhaled into relaxation.

Dudley reluctantly obliged his mother's wishes but gave Harry a warning look before departing the ward.

Petunia was paler than ever, almost as much as Sirius Black had been when Severus threatened him with the Dementors back in Harry's third year.

"How could you know that?" she uttered with as much strength as she could bear.

"I was given memories of you and Mum…I saw your past ever since she found out about being a witch. I saw how you wanted to know about the Wizarding World…how you wrote to Dumbledore requesting to go to Hogwarts yourself…how you took the rejection…by hating my mother and anything to do with magic. You dedicated your life since then to shutting out magic, because you felt that magic shut you out."

Petunia shuddered and rested her head against the pillows, smelling of disinfectant and medicinal chemicals, hardly pleasant, but nevertheless more appealing than broaching this matter. She couldn't bear having to face that world again, and her darkest secret; ever wanting magic in the first place.

If Vernon, bless his soul, ever knew that before his death some years ago, she would not be Mrs Dursley. Not for long.

"You wanted to be like Lily. You were jealous of everything about her, and not being allowed to practice magic was the last straw, wasn't it?" persisted Harry, hoping he and Petunia could finally gain closure.

"I made the biggest mistake of my life when I wrote to that long-bearded freak!" she snapped. "And who gave you those memories as you call them? Who dared to give you access to my privacy all those years ago? TELL ME!"

Harry needed Petunia to calm down, so he was honest.

"Severus Snape gave them to me."

"That…awful boy…"

If Lily had thought that Petunia's most hateful glare had been directed at either herself or at Harry before, she was very surprised to see the disdain and hatred in Petunia's eyes at the mention of Severus' name.

"That slimy, greasy, good-for-nothing sewer rat gave you access to my past?" spluttered Petunia, her chest rising and falling with increasing rapidity.

"It was the last thing he ever did…he's dead."

"Why?!"

"He was the reason I survived the War…why so many people survived. He loved Mum…and accidentally led Voldemort to her door...he regretted it for the rest of his life. And trust me, Aunt Petunia, if you thought you hated me so much, you should have seen what Snape was like to me at Hogwarts. He made life hell for me, because I represented the fact that he lost Lily to my dad."

Petunia was stunned, not by Severus' love for Lily, but for the news of his death.

"He died trying to redeem his actions, for his love for my mother. He loved her all his life, even long after she died. There was never anyone else for him. He defended me, the boy he hated for not being his own just to do what was right for Mum. You and so many others looked down on him…and he was the bravest man I ever knew."

Lily smiled with pride at her son's ongoing respect for her best friend.

"…Did he succeed?"

"He did. Without him, I wouldn't be alive…none of us would be."

"But he isn't loved, is he? It's too late. How ironic!"

Petunia sounded maniacal with glee.

"He took my sister away from me, ruined normality for me forever…and he finally got his comeuppance. A life without love, a life living for forgiveness that he could never achieve! Oh, but that's laughable!"

"Stop it!" cried Harry.

Petunia wheezed with mirth.

"I wanted so badly to be magical…and look what it did to me. Made me a bitter woman, someone who takes joy in others' sufferings, particularly magical people…but at least I survived! I lived a normal life! I lived properly! Long and true!"

"Was it worth it?" asked Harry quietly. "Was living this long and true life of normality worth estranging from your sister? Was it worth treating me like a pile of…?"

Petunia frowned.

"What are you expecting to gain out of this? An apology? You were lucky we didn't let you freeze to death or ship you off to an orphanage! Vernon and I took you in, and maybe we didn't give you the joyous lifestyle your mother might have given you if she hadn't gotten herself slaughtered, but we nevertheless put a roof over your head and fed you and raised you! And believe me, Harry Potter, I never, ever wanted to!"

Harry didn't entirely believe her but seeing her show so much resistance of embracing the Wizarding World from a Muggle's perspective, even on the brink of death, proved to him that she was beyond negotiating. Petunia chose normality, partly because it was all that was open to her, but also because she refused to forgive magic, Dumbledore, Lily, himself.

"I won't argue with you anymore, Aunt Petunia," he said with pity, "but I just want you to know that I am grateful to you for taking me in at all. Without your protection, I might have died before I could fulfil my…destiny. Mum would have been proud and grateful for that alone…but I hope she forgives you when you meet her again. Forgives you for everything else you have done and haven't done. Good luck and goodbye, Petunia Dursley."

With that, Harry left the ward and told Dudley he was free to go back in and say his goodbyes.

Dudley did so, and to him, it seemed as if Harry had never spoken with his mother at all. She was doting, loving and happy with him, as though nothing had happened. But he was concerned by his cousin's words. Did Petunia truly want to study magic? Did she only hate it because she was jealous of his late aunt, Lily?

Petunia whispered to her son.

"I feel quite faint, darling…I need rest."

"Mum…just in case I don't…see you again…please know that I don't hate you, if you did or didn't want to be the M word, like your sister. And if you do see her again…up there…I hope your jealousy will be over. I hope you'll be happy up there…and I really hope you were happy with the life you did have."

Petunia gave no reply. She fell asleep clutching Dudley's hand.

Twenty minutes later, he noticed her breathing had stopped, and he called a nurse in, whom confirmed the inevitable: Petunia Dursley had died in her sleep.

It seemed like forever for Lily. She had ensured that James wasn't there to stick his nose in where it wasn't wanted. She sent him to spend time with Sirius and Remus, and then made her heavenly home as pleasant as possible, which wasn't difficult in Heaven. She took some deep breathing into consideration, knowing she would feel intense around her sister, and finally she prayed for her sister's presence.

Eventually, Petunia reached Lily, as if someone was calling her with a familiar appeal. Upon the sight of her younger sister, however, she turned livid.

"Used your freakish powers to hypnotise me to come here?" she sneered angrily.

"No, Heaven works in its own ways," replied Lily stiffly.

"I just got here! I just reunited with my husband! Why can't you just leave me alone? In peace?"

"Like you left me alone? Like you left Harry alone in the hell you called home sweet home?" snapped Lily.

"I never left you! You left me!" shouted Petunia.

"I never did! You just couldn't accept that I had something you couldn't have, and you shut me out! I would have shared the Wizarding World with you! But you never gave me a chance! Once I became a witch, and became friends with Sev, you threw me away, cos you couldn't face the fact that you had to live a normal life!"

"How would you have shared it if I didn't have magic?! I was left out, I was outcast from such a life, by your frigging leader! I was never given a chance either!"

"But Petunia, you misunderstood me."

Lily and Petunia turned to see Albus Dumbledore himself.

"You!"

"I rejected you, yes, and I may have done so in a less tactful and polite way than I could have done, but in that letter, I implored you to enjoy the life you were given, the Muggle life. I can see that you squandered it in housewife duties, marriage to a man you only married to feel appreciated and loved, perhaps you did come to truly love him in the end, but nevertheless, you settled because you felt you couldn't find your own purpose. I wanted you to protect Harry, and yes, I do see irony in my wanting you to live your Muggle life to the fullest and then forcing you to take in the magical child of your estranged sister…but you did it nonetheless, and in doing so, did a service to the Wizarding World by protecting the Boy Who Lived, the Chosen One and therefore, in a way, honoured your sister's memory."

Petunia stood stunned. Lily was hoping that Dumbledore's words had an effect on her, but a look of pure fury a moment later killed off those hopes swiftly.

"A service to your world, yes…but what services did you and your freakish little world ever grant me? Why should I have been condemned to watch that brat sprout into a wizard, while I was stuck in the memories of being rejected from it! Fools! I would show that freak what it was like to be in a world he didn't want!"

"You tried to stop my son from receiving his letter…because you were still jealous?!" shrieked Lily.

"Because he had no right!" retorted Petunia. "He disrupted my household, the new life I made for myself to escape the pain of being outcast from a more exciting world that I wanted! Oh, but to learn that you died young because of your connection to that world…it was almost music to my ears!"

Lily felt sick. Her sister looked maniacal in her blind refusal to accept who she was and her denial-based beliefs on being a witch was what doomed Lily.

"The Wizarding World is just scum! Threw my sister into war, into despair and into death! That's all magic is! A death trap! A destroyer of families! MAGIC IS EVIL!"

"Petunia Evans, you gravely disappoint me, young lady!"

Petunia knew that voice and it made her recoil slightly. She and Lily looked into the eyes of their mother, Rose Evans. Trevor Evans stood beside her, looking equally disappointed.

"You think so low of your own sister that you think that she got herself killed by choosing magic over you? You think that because you couldn't learn magic, you had to condemn yourself into a boring, miserable life with no prospects other than peeking over a garden fence to learn gossip to pass off to that intolerable brute you call a husband? How dare you, Petunia! I raised you to be a wonderful, kind, benevolent woman! To make a name for yourself! But you were so obsessed with fighting the pain of rejection, that you sold yourself out to be a common housewife fit to do nothing but lick your working husband's shoes! It's a disgrace, and a heavy shame! I wanted you to live life to the full and you threw it away because you decided you couldn't do better just because you couldn't wave a magic wand!"

Petunia once again reduced into a silent state, but Lily's hopes were once again dashed by her cold yet desperate response.

"It wasn't just the magic, though, was it, Mum?" she replied accusatorily.

"I beg your pardon?" asked Rose.

"You always preferred Lily over me!"

Petunia was right up in her parents' faces, pointing the finger shakily between them.

"That's not true," said Trevor.

"It was always Lily's hair, this! Lily's skin, that! You went on and on about all of her flawless looks and charms and attitudes, and God, the eyes! Literally everybody she met went on about her eyes! Even that Snape freak murmured about them when he thought no-one was looking! But it was never about me! Nobody ever paid me a compliment! Hell, at secondary school, I was known as 'Petunia with the two backs!' But every boy I met…they always came around to my house and looked eagerly at Lily's room. One actually had the gall to ask me if my sister was home. When I asked why, he said that he once saw her in the front garden over the summer and commented on how hot she was!"

Lily hadn't known this. She never really asked her elder sister of how things were for her during her days at Hogwarts. She didn't wish to, out of fear of offending Petunia further with the fact that she was at a magical school and she wasn't.

"I didn't know," she said feebly.

"Of course not, cos all you ever had to talk about was yourself and your stinking Hogwarts!" fumed Petunia. "It was always 'Top in Charms' this, and 'Head Girl of the Year' that! It was never to ask me how I was faring in my mediocre, common, boring life! Nobody cared! Once, when I was given the award for the Most Beautiful Floral Decoration in a school contest, what did you say, Mum and Dad?"

The two of them didn't remember this occasion, and were now worried that they should have done.

"You said, 'That's fabulous, Petunia, but Lily was just about to tell us about how she's been invited by Professor…Sluggish to join his Slugs Club!' That made me feel so little…so worthless. But did I say peep? No! Because nobody cared! I was truly the only one to see Perfect Lily for what she was! A FREAK!"

Everybody was stunned.

Lily was horrified at just how deeply Petunia's hatred ran inside her. Dumbledore wasn't so much stunned as piteous towards his ally, and towards the woman he had let down so long ago. Rose and Trevor were mortified. They had never heard Petunia out Lily as a freak before. She had always insulted Lily in private and out of earshot. They knew Lily had tried to tell them, but they didn't wish to believe it. They passed it off as mild jealousy on Petunia's part and annoyed exaggeration on her part. To hear their eldest daughter show so much contempt, not just towards her sister but to them as well, broke their proverbially beating hearts.

"I don't want to see any of you anymore," said Petunia harshly, "you all ruined what could have been a great life…before magic drove us apart!"

"You're the one pulling this family apart right now, Tuney!"

"No, Lily! You did that a long time ago! When you chose magic over me and left me behind! All of us behind!"

And with that, Petunia disappeared, back to her husband.

Lily broke down in tears, as did Rose. Trevor held onto them as they shook with harsh tears. He was barely holding back his own.

Dumbledore sighed deeply, then disappeared as well. But he decided that like Severus, he wouldn't leave Petunia to stew in self-pity and raw hatred. He would reform the unfortunate woman yet.

A/N: And there's Chapter 53! Happy New Year to anybody reading! I'm sorry the chapter is late! Been a very busy Christmas, plus I've been to the doctor's with lots of symptoms lately. Still don't know for certain what the problem is. Will do soon! Hope you like this story still. Chapter 54 coming soon! Please review! Thank you for reading!