A/N: So, I really like the song It Will Come Back by Hozier for this chapter and just in general. Just so you all know. Also I've apparently given up on sticking to my 1st and 15th schedule. I'm trying to get back on it but the universe is rife with mysteries so we'll see how that goes. Thank you guys for reading, for your continued support and for your reviews. They mean the world to me and the feedback is always lovely to hear. I'm trying to spruce up my playlists on Spotify so if any of you have song recs for this fic or just in general hit me up (PM me or in a review, doesn't matter. Get me some tunes bb).

I had the privilege of helping review some scenes for RoseEyes recently and they really inspired me to slow down my writing and really try to think about how I'm portraying things. She is gifted at showing not telling and I felt like her work pushed me to examine my style and flesh things out more. I haven't read all of her stuff but she's a cool person and from what I've seen a pretty damn gifted writer so maybe go check her stories out.

The bath in the temple was large and communal. It didn't often matter to anyone because it was rare that more than one person ever needed to bathe at once, and if they did it was almost never two people who couldn't bathe together for whatever reason. Genkai didn't particularly care what anyone did as long as they weren't loud or destructive. Most of the this meant that the girls would bathe in a group if they were all there together, or sometimes it meant that everyone bathed on their own. Today it meant that Hayato sat in the mineral clouded water while Shinpi combed through his hair snipping at split ends as she found them with a pair of hair cutting scissors. She had donned her robe and took up station behind him, her legs on either side of his torso with her feet in the water as he leaned against the edge of the sunken bath. She sang softly to herself during the grooming, the steam of the bath water rose to cloud the room and offset the sense of reality just enough that Hayato wondered if this was somehow a dream.

"I've missed this." He hummed, content with his life and this moment. The weeks on the road gathering intel were hard but small reprieves like this one kept the exhaustion from becoming overwhelming.

"I know." Shinpi stopped singing to answer him, the comb coming to stillness. She set it down beside her and began to work her fingers through the oil-slick dark strands. Hayato's hair had a particular beauty to it that most didn't appreciate in her opinion. Like his raven feathers, his hair wasn't a true black but something that glistened with dark rainbows when hit by light. It was a trait entirely his own, something she had never seen in any other demon. Even with his wings hidden in his skin like intricately detailed tattoos, the feathers held a particularly otherworldly sheen that human tattoo artists would never be able to capture.

Hayato had always been far more beautiful than he'd ever realized. He'd always been too busy helping her to ever slow down and appreciate himself. She wondered why, in her absence, he hadn't moved on with his life. Why hadn't he learned to put himself first finally? Or had he and her reappearance had merely thrown that new skill to the wind?

Working his hair into plaits, Shinpi continued without voicing her questions. "I wish we were able to spend more time together. I'm sorry we were reunited only to be separated once more."

"It's a temporary necessity. I understand." Hayato shifted but did his best not to mess up her work. "Once all this business is over I can come back to your side. I look forward to it, but I also know that this what you need of me. No one else can do this the way I can."

She didn't respond immediately and Hayato worried for a moment that she was about to tell him no. That he didn't need to come back to her. That she had Hiei and her other friends and this new life and therefore her arms were too full for him. Cold filled his stomach within seconds as the silence added weight to the herb scented air. Then it all lifted as Shinpi hugged his neck, her body curling over him slightly. He forgot sometimes how small she was in this body, over a foot shorter than himself. Hayato tipped his head back in her hold so he could look up into her misted eyes with his own curious dark brown stare.

"I am never going to stop being sorry Hai." Shinpi told him softly. "I owe you a lifetime of apologies for what I put you through."

"What you put me through?" He blinked, surprised by this outburst. His lips parted as he studied the creases between her eyebrows as they pulled down towards her nose, the way her lip tucked in slightly as her teeth pulled at the inner meat. At least her anxious habits hadn't changed, but he couldn't for the life of him understand what she was suddenly apologizing for.

"I've been thinking about the last time we saw each other, when Hiro revealed his true face." She explained in a voice that stressed against the weight of the syllables falling past her lips. "I've been thinking a lot about how I allowed this all to happen."

"You didn't know what he was." Hayato replied, brows pulling together in confusion for her mood. The terrycloth of her robe rubbed against his jaw as her arms, wrapped around him, tightened their hold just a fraction.

"I should have." Despite the quiet utterance, the words seemed to echo between them.

"I was there too. We both failed, Amon-Shinpi." He smiled at her as gently as he could, speaking her name with all the care he could put into his voice. "We both lost and suffered, but we both made it. We survived and we came back together."

"I left you behind." She reminded him in a choked whisper, her frame trembling. "I saw you in the castle but then I saw Kin and I couldn't-Hai, I couldn't-I just-"

He had never heard this part before. He hadn't ever really thought about it from her perspective. Now it made sense, of course she would have seen him on the floor, broken and defeated and nearly dead. Of course she would have had to step over him to get to the nightmare he'd failed to prevent. She didn't talk about this. Neither did he. They'd never agreed to not discuss it, it was just something that they never mentioned to each other for their own reasons. His was shame. He assumed hers was agonizing pain.

Now she apologized for leaving him there and he couldn't understand why because there really had been no other option, had there? What else could she have done?

"Hey." He reached up and cupped her cheek, trying to soothe her through the contact. "I would have done the same. You made the right choice."

Shinpi inhaled roughly then a sob wracked over her. He waited a moment for her composure to return because he knew it would. She hated being out of control. He had been to war with her and unlike her soldiers who had only seen her cold determination and her rage, he had seen her fall apart in her tent when they lost a fighter. When it was too close. When she was exhausted and raw and done and ready to go home but couldn't. He'd seen her face crumple up this way, turning into a mash of ugly lines and wet tracks, before. Not this face, but she cried the same.

"If Hiro had gone through you I would have taken Kin and fled. I wouldn't have been able to look back. It would have broken me everyday but I would have done it."

"I should have stopped to think."

"With what time? You had to act."

"I didn't act, I raged."

"Justifiably."

"Why do you always defend me even when my actions are indefensible? Hai, I demolished parts of that castle without thinking. I literally devolved into madness and because a monstrous creature I have no recollection of being." She sucked in a wet, shaking breath.

Hayato wiped her tears away with his thumbs. Then he stretched up and kissed her forehead, an awkward action given their position.

"You weren't a monster, Amon-Shinpi. You were a wailing woman, it just happens that your family feels grief more profoundly and more dangerously than most others. You lost your husband and your child at the same time. I can't imagine what that was like." He reminded her, pulling away so he could turn around and press his forehead to hers, his calloused palms cupping her cheeks. His own eyes began to water, a wet heaviness entering his chest and clogging his words. "When I woke up and Kin was gone, when you were gone, I didn't know what to do. Everything was suddenly cold. It was all wrong."

"I lost you too." She told him, her hands coming up to hold his face. "Hai-"

"But you're here now." He spoke over her. "You're alive and you're really here, in my hands, and not a day goes by that I'm not thankful for that. We have suffered enough Amon-Shinpi. I don't want to keep reliving those awful memories. I want to be here, with you, and I want to be by your side as we figure out how to make this life better."

Shinpi shuddered a breath, then another and finally nodded at him while pressing her lips together. After a moment she was able to speak again without bursting into tears. "I want that too."

"Then let's start by having you finish my hair." He teased her with forced levity as she wiped a tear from his cheek. "Then I'll do yours."

"You've been shit at braids your whole life." She reminded him with a laugh that bounced off the dewy bathroom walls.

"Well, I can at least brush it. It's hard to mess that up." Hayato grinned back at her, glad her mood had shifted to something lighter. She had spent too many years burdened with the weight of her past, he wanted her to have a gentler life going forward. A brighter one. Seeing her smile lit him up from the inside because it felt like maybe they were going to get there someday.

"It doesn't bother you?"

Hiei just barely tilted his head toward Kurama at the sound of the question, his eyes still closed as he lounged in the reading room with the fox who had been buried in a book until now. Knowing exactly what Kurama was suggesting, Hiei scoffed.

"What doesn't?" He was still going to make the other man say it just so Kurama could hear how stupid he sounded suggesting it.

"Them bathing together." Kurama pressed, his own voice cool.

"No. It doesn't."

Hiei could tell those probing green eyes were locked on him. There was a particular itch that crawled over one's skin when Kurama fixated on them. It was a warning to duck, to skitter back, to be alert. Hiei ignored it because he wasn't in any danger. Provoking Kurama was half the fun of knowing him. Besides, it was a particularly idiotic question to ask. Why would he be bothered by Hayato and Shinpi sharing a bath? She didn't see the man as a potential partner. They were more than friends, sure, but it was a familial bond not romantic. Shinpi cared for Hayato the way she cared for Kuwabara or Yusuke or even Kurama. And Hayato felt the same about her. He idolized her, he would die for her, but it wasn't the sort of loyalty that came from attraction. Their relationship was something he didn't fully understand, and sometimes he questioned it why it was so deep, but he knew not to suggest it had anything to do with sex.

"Can I ask why?" Kurama inquired, the sound of his book closing seeming louder than it needed to be.

"Only if you tell me why it bothers you so much." Hiei drawled in response.

There was a beat of silence that answered him, so relaxed back into the cushions of the chaise lounge, one knee bent and the other leg dangling off the side, his arms folded behind his head. The air had turned colder outside and clouds had rolled over the horizon to blot out what little sunlight there had been warming the grounds. The air tasted of ice and without a doubt there was snow coming to them soon. He could handle it, but why would he when he could be in here annoying Kurama?

"It just seems a little strange to me, I suppose. It doesn't bother me, necessarily, it's just unusual. I don't quite understand it." Kurama's admittance caused Hiei to open his eyes so he could turn just his head to glance at the other man. "Perhaps I just don't understand what it means to be so close with someone."

"I don't either." Hiei told him. "But she does. And this is something that makes her happy so it's best to leave it alone."

"He's awfully dedicated."

"He's her only family."

Kurama inhaled in a way that earned Hiei's more concentrated attention so the fire demon rose to sitting to study his oldest friend. Crimson eyes scanning he watched as Kurama's fingers toyed with the frayed upper corner of the book's cover, the mindless action and unusual display of agitated thought. Mouth pulled slightly to the side, lines formed at the corners his slightly narrowed veridian eyes, jaw tense enough to allow the muscle to become pronounced even to the untrained eye. Kurama seemed to notice that Hiei was watching him closely and all the signs and tells vanished. Suddenly it was just Kurama sitting there, poised and calm.

"You know more about him than I do." Kurama spoke calmly, but it seemed careful to Hiei, as though he was treading softly around a harsher subject. "And you know her relationship to him better than I could hope to."

"You could ask her. Or him." Hiei pointed out, resting his arm on his bent knee that palm coming up to cup his cheek as his attention remained fixed on the fox. "All I know is that she cares about him, he cares about her, and despite his complete and utter failure to keep her alive before he seems to be a capable man. I don't question his loyalty or his dedication."

"Maybe I will. I just have a hard time wrapping my head around it." Kurama rubbed at his temples. "I don't know why it's so interesting to me all of the sudden."

"Maybe because they've been in the damn bath for more than an hour and you need to use it."

"I don't think that's it, but that is a fair point." Kurama sighed, leaning back in his chair. "I suppose it's just strange to me that they are so physically open with one another."

Hiei snorted at that, rolling his eyes.

"What?" Kurama glared at him.

"You're a hypocrite as usual." Hiei accused, flashing him a look. "You have no space to call out the physical closeness of their relationship."

Kurama stiffened, then straightened in his chair. "It's different."

"Not to me." Hiei decided to lay back down. "It's all the same."

"It's not the same at all, Hiei. I'm Hichi's friend, her ally, and yes we do have a physically affection relationship but it is not nearly what they have." Kurama continued. "It's entirely different, actually. For one, she would never deign to bathe with me. And I can't say I'd want her to because it would be a crossed line. Cuddling is one thing, but being completely exposed to each other is just-"

"Intimate." Hiei supplied when Kurama dropped the sentence.

"Yes." Kurama agreed. "And it feels strange to me that you're not bothered by her sharing that intimacy with someone who isn't you."

"Why are you so bothered by this?" Hiei opened his eyes to speak, but he didn't look at Kurama.

"Because I don't understand it." Kurama responded with more frustration than Hiei thought he'd be willing to show. "I can't understand it."

"Ask her about it." Hiei prompted him, huffing. "I don't have the capacity to explain it in the nuanced way she can. As for our relationship, it's centered on trust. I trust Shinpi and I trust Hayato with her. So I don't worry about it."

Kurama hummed in response. After a few seconds the sound of the pages of his book flipping announced he had gone back to his reading and Hiei took that as a sign he could actually nap for a while.

Kurama was a little surprised to find Shinpi and Hayato standing outside the bathroom in their robes talking. He'd imagined they'd been long done, which is why he'd finally stopped waiting for his turn. It had been nearly two hours since they'd entered the room. How clean did one need to get? Then he noticed the fresh braids in Hayato's thick dark hair and from experience he knew how long those probably took to weave. Glancing at Shinpi he noted her hair hung free and unadorned, looking freshly brushed as it stretched down to her lower back`. Some of her silver and bronze braid rings now wrapped around Hayato's plaits, glinting in the light.

Shinpi noticed him coming to a stop and her attention earned Hayato's, who also turned to look him over.

"I'm sorry we took so long." She made a face of apology.

"Don't apologize." Kurama tried to smile but the expression just didn't rise. Instead he was distracted by the intensity of Hayato's dark eyed stare. What was the raven's problem?

Shinpi shifted, her teeth pulling at her lip. "Okay then. Still, I'll be faster next time."

"It really isn't a problem." Kurama told her, again his attempt at being as friendly as he wanted to be failing in light of the scrutiny he was under. Moving his focus from the raven to Shinpi he finally smiled at her. "You probably needed the soak after everything you endured. I'm sure you're sore."

"I am." She nodded.

An uneasy silence fell and Kurama wasn't sure why. He let the smile fade as Shinpi adjusted her weight from foot to foot, one arm crossing over her stomach to grab the other. Just as he was about to ask her what was bothering her she glanced to Hayato.

"I'm going to get dressed. I think your spare clothes are in my room for safe keeping." She announced, cutting through the quiet.

"I'll be right there." He assured her. As she walked off he turned to look at Kurama again, a darker gleam to his eye.

Kurama stared back, unmoved.

"She trusts you." Hayato spoke in a voice Kurama had never heard him use before. It was dangerous, bordering on threatening while being just shy. "I hope you're worthy of that honor because she doesn't give it freely. She's been hurt enough."

"I don't know what you mean." Kurama remained fixed in place, his response cool and anything but docile. "Hichi knows she can count on me to keep her safe. I would never intentionally harm her."

"Intentionally." Hayato caught the word and narrowed his eyes. "The fact you have to qualify it is worrisome, Kurama."

"I can't make promises for every contingency, Hayato. Just as she can't predict them all. Whenever it is within my power she'll be safe. You're not the only one who holds her loyalty and trust close to your heart. She means something precious to all of us." Kurama stepped forward, his voice quiet and if one wasn't truly listening it might sound soft. A tinge of bitterness coated the words though, seeping between the syllables. "You do not get to tell any of us we are not worthy of her companionship. That is for her to decide."

He had to tilt his head back to look up at Hayato's face, the man daunting him in height. Hayato looked down at him, thick brows pulled together as he studied the redhead.

"She can depend on me." Kurama stated firmly, resolved and allowing no room for argument on the matter. "You don't get to decide that either."

The glint to Hayato's eyes lessened then disappeared, his lips softening after being pressed thin. His eyes brows returned to their regular positions but Kurama noted he had creases between them. Wrinkles from pulling them together so often no doubt. They were faint but there. It was almost humorous in a way because no doubt Shinpi was the cause of the development.

"I don't appreciate what happened today." Hayato explained, still hard on the edges but softening some. "It's difficult watching someone hurt her. I've had to see her wounded too many times in my life, Kurama. I can't stand by and let anyone else lead her by the hand into a life of pain, not again. Never again. She really does trust you. She relies on you. You matter a great deal to her. I'd rather not see that end in disappointment. She's tired, I think you'll agree she deserves a softer life now, she deserves more happiness. Don't be someone who ruins that for her."

Kurama was left with a dry mouth and sinking stomach as the raven patted his shoulder and walked away, following in Shinpi's footsteps to make his way to her room. He knew he'd slipped during their match. Shinpi had never looked at him with any amount of fear before. He just hadn't realized how badly he'd messed up. Emerald eyes watched Hayato's back, nerves fraying in Kurama's being, unraveling him from the edges. First Hiei saying he'd almost intervened and now this.

How badly had he actually hurt her?

What had they seen?

It wasn't his secret, he knew, because if it had been that then these conversations likely would have been more violent. Especially Hiei's. What had he looked like to them? He knew how he'd felt and he supposed that was answer enough.

"I'm going to go read."

"Hn." Hiei shifted in his sleep, his grunt the only acknowledgment he offered to Shinpi's statement.

She remained sitting in the bed for a few more seconds, admiring him in the darkness. He seemed so relaxed, a rare state. She enjoyed that it was often her company that induced it in him. Bending over him she brushed the lightest of kisses over his lips before slipping from the bed. Sleep evaded her, her mind too full of thoughts and anxieties, so she gave up on it. She'd done her best.

The temple was quiet as she crept through the halls on silent feet, headed for the furthest room she knew would offer some comfort and solitude. Maybe she'd fall asleep in the armchair while reading. Sometimes all her mind needed was a little distraction from itself. She passed Hayato's room, situated next her the one she shared with Hiei. Normally he might sleep in her bed but Hiei was insistent that he was going to hold that post tonight given the sudden snow storm pinning them in place. Genkai was elsewhere, leaving no hint to her current whereabouts. Yukina had gone to stay with Kuwabara for some time together since he was too busy with school to trek up to the grounds. It was just Shinpi and her boys.

Her stomach turned uncomfortably, bringing her hand to cover it.

She hadn't spoken to Kurama really since the end of their fight, allowing for the few words at the bath. He seemed angry still. They'd all eaten separately through the evening. Kurama hadn't actually been around at all. She hoped he'd eaten. Her teeth worried at her bottom lip, pulling at a small bit of skin she'd worked loose through the day. It stung but that didn't stop her. While Hiei had wandered to the training room and Hayato had cooked, she'd handled their clothes. She'd hoped Kurama would find his way to the laundry area so maybe she could ask him about his anger.

He'd never come.

Just thinking about it made her feel a little queasy. She'd truly upset him. Had her loss not been enough? Did he not believe her when she said she'd ask for help? She'd prove it to him. Anything to make this discomfort disappear. Even his jokes after his victory felt hollow, a show. Maybe for Hiei? Maybe an attempt to force things to smooth over despite his still strong emotions? What was he thinking? What could she do about it?

The wood floor seeped cold into the soles of her feet, no socks to protect her. The cold didn't clear her mind. She walked into the dark reading room and closed the door after her, trotting to the dimmest lamp with the oldest bulb turning it on to allow that muted amber light to only just barely fill the space of the chair next to it. She picked a book at random, not really interested in any topic other than deciphering Kurama's behavior, but given that's what she was in here trying to avoid doing, she tried to focus on the relic in her hands. An old book about demonology. Cute.

She pulled her feet into the chair, curling up to protect herself from the stagnant cold air of the room. Her pink cotton sleep pants and black tanktop had been enough to warm her next to Hiei, safely in bed but out here they felt too thin. She wished there was a blanket but maybe the cold would fade as sleep wrapped around her. She began reading, and her thoughts began to scramble to remain at the forefront of her attention. The fight played vividly through her memories, blocking out all other matters as though she was watching a movie she couldn't pause. The ending in particular gripped her tightly demanding she face it. Shinpi swallowed.

She hated that Kurama was still so upset with her. It ate at her core and hurt her stomach. Hiei told her not to worry about it, that it was fine. Kurama wasn't as upset as she thought he was. At least not at her. But how could she believe that when he had been so cool to her by the baths? When he had barely looked at her? He'd seemed appalled earlier that he might have actually wounded her. He'd rushed to help.

Her fingers coming up to touch the nearly-black-for-their-shade-of-purple bruises tattooed into her skin on her shoulder. The same color decorated her forearms, her back. Hayato had tried to heal them but she refused. At this, guilt called to her because Kurama had, no doubt, been upset at the idea of hurting her but to the gods she'd been so excited about it. Maybe that's why he was angry? Because she had taken too much joy in his wrath?

But how could she not when she'd never seen it before?

It was more than Hiei could have truly prepared her for. Kurama was a fierce opponent, everything she'd been right to fear. Licking her lips she once again replayed their solo round. The prickle of being hunted rising the hair on her nape as she was forced to hide, something she hadn't experienced in ages. The hot-blood instinct of being put on the defensive, trapped by something larger and more vicious than herself. She had been able to taste the growth of the forest as it surrounded Kurama, clogging her senses and reminding her that she would be committed to the ground and regrown at some point. Maybe even right then.

Everything about it unsettled her blood with adrenaline. His voice above her before he dropped down, having found her so quickly and easily. He'd managed to gain an advantage she hadn't suspected he'd take. It had never once occurred to her to look up because it was Kurama. Hiei dove out of trees. Nothing in her notes or her memories had prepared her for Kurama using such tactics. The weight of his body crashing down her, the pain of it, had surprised her.

And that line. "I know how hard I hit you." Even now it made her smile. He really did know her tricks and he really wasn't going to back off of her. Even now, after these years, Hiei still backed down when he thought he hurt her. But not Kurama. No. Kurama only advanced. Only threw it in her face that she was trying to manipulate and she couldn't. In fact, now that she thought it, she'd be willing to put money on the fact that the reason he had lessened the lethality of the whip had been because he'd known she would attempt the ploy. He hadn't wanted to cut her down but he was going to make his point.

Her lips pulled to the left, her eyes glittering in the dim light as she tried to remember to feel bad about these feelings of pride and delight. Kurama was angry with her. She shouldn't be feeling so glib.

He'd accepted her blows without even showing an ounce of pain. Nothing. No reaction when she'd tackled him, only his breath hissing out before he regained himself. It had been a while since someone had thrown her so many times in a fight. She hadn't spent this much time on her back with a man since meeting Hiei. Kurama was relentless. Rough. She hadn't expected him to be so hands on with her, so up close.

Had that been a direct response to her knowledge of him? Surely Kurama had pieced together that she'd done her best to memorize their styles. He was intelligent, wily. He'd have figured it out. Was that why he changed his style so drastically? To keep her on her toes?

Or had it been because of that burning rage flowing through him that she had gotten to glimpse? That heat that had actually made her sweat in cold beads as her blood chilled in her veins with the feeling that this really might be the end? That dire, sudden, breathtaking knowledge that a powerful opponent had her where he wanted her. Her toes curled thinking about it. It had all thrown her off her game. Hiei had been predictable, though he had been a good match for Kurama's attacks. They'd done well herding her, balancing each other out. Maybe she could get them to work together more often. She'd like to see them in the field, no holds barred.

Swallowing made her remember the calloused palm that had so pointedly pressed to her throat, long fingers wrapped around her neck. Nails tracing her veins while she was defenseless, bound and hung, her legs caged in. Her heart had hammered in her chest so hard she was surprised Kurama didn't count the beats to her. He could have danced to the rhythm. She probably shouldn't have called him out for being exhausted, it hadn't done her any favors. Appealing to his better nature hadn't worked because at the time, in that moment, he didn't have one. What if she'd been someone else? What would he have done to her? Could she push him to that point? Could she get him to treat her like any other opponent? She didn't think so. Even as wild as he'd been, he'd shown restraint with her.

Even if his hand had trembled with the urge to choke the living shit out of her.

Teasing him hadn't worked either. She'd wanted to win so badly, even when she knew she'd already lost. If she'd been able to sway him into letting her go before admitting defeat… but her Kurama hadn't bitten at the bait. He'd called her on all of her games. He'd met her match for match and taken the crown.

Shinpi had never seen Kurama's eyes shine so plainly with intention before that moment when he leaned over her, hand on her throat forcing her to look up. Had he meant to do that? He'd made sure she suffered his gaze, a message radiating from those cold forest green eyes, something he wanted to burrow into her soul, something that had to be branded into her so she never forgot it. Only she wasn't able to decipher the meaning. He never told her. It was something dark and ancient and cruel but alive and it wanted her to know it was there, coiled and ready to strike. What had that look meant? Why couldn't she shake it out of her head? She didn't know. What she did know was that the thrill tracing her spine was purely from devolving him into this baser creature. As dangerous as it was to test Kurama's patience she couldn't help herself but to press him. He never wanted to fight her. He never wanted to get nasty and show his teeth. She had wondered for a while what if would feel like to be on the receiving end of his ire. At the beginning, she had imagined the tortures he might concoct a million times if she misstepped before acquiring her sword. That's why she'd had to earn his trust early. Even seething with bared teeth making demands of her while controlling her actions, all of his movements were lined with calculation.

With his hand on her throat, pressing and testing, that look in his darkened eyes all Shinpi could do was succumb. Her body relaxed not as a way to demean him but purely from instinct. Voices in her head she'd never heard before pleaded 'if we submit maybe he will be satisfied and leave' as though she were some cowardly pup still learning strength. Never, not once in her life, had she been so viscerally overpowered. It really had reminded her of Hiei in the moment. She recalled feeling similarly then too, thinking if she just let him have his way he'd let her be. This was different however, this wasn't a response based on her knowledge of him. This had come from some place deep in her ancestry where survival had been ingrained in her DNA. She had to allow him access to her throat because she couldn't help herself. Kurama in that moment called to her deepest nature and it responded by cowering before him.

For the first time she'd seen the monster lurking under his smooth skin up close and personal and it had not liked being summoned, but by the gods she'd do it again given even half the chance. She craved a chance to prove herself to that beast. She wanted to make it bow to her, take the power away from it and crown herself the dangerous one.

Could she make Kurama cower?

Kurama hadn't wounded her seriously. She suspected he wouldn't. But still, even in that moment, she'd wondered for far he'd go to prove his point. Which one of them would break first? Would he stop or would she be forced to concede? How much would she have been able to take? What were Kurama's hard limits when it came to his opponents? At the Dark Tournament he'd killed without mercy but he'd also attempted to save some opponents. It wasn't a wanton blood lust that directed his actions. He had sense, he had control.

Then that coil of vine descended to wrap around her throat, hungry for victory, thorns biting against her skin searching for the blood rushing underneath. More plants climbed up her legs securing her in place as though Kurama hadn't already trapped her completely. Her arms were lost in the thicket of vines and flora that sprung to life in his hair, crawling over her with the desire to cover her until she was another quiet thing consumed by the landscape. As his temper escalated so did his attack. A horrific symmetry formed between the assault and his tone as he ramped up, yelling at her for not calling for him.

He had proven himself to be every bit as terrifying as she'd once imagined. Being his friend had clouded her vision. Her soft, safe friend had turned into a predator deadlier than herself and it was all her fault. That's where her guilt tried to spring back onto her, but it had a hard time cutting through the other emotions walling themselves around her. She should feel guilty. She knew it. She should apologize for pushing him so far, for obviously making him do something he hadn't wanted to do. His anger was justified even if she didn't actually know where it originated.

She'd apologize and she'd mean it, she decided. She owed him that much. Maybe he'd forgive her.

Shinpi sat up straight, eyes narrowed and body tensed to spring as the door slid open quietly but without notice. The figure on the other side stopped as soon as he noticed her. Swallowing she settled down but a different tension remained in her taut muscles as Kurama crossed into the room and closed the door. He wore thicker sleep pants than she did, and he'd been smart enough to down a sweater and wear socks. His hair looked almost black in the deeper shadows of the room, pulled back from his face in a half bun though his bangs still hung loose over his forehead.

"I didn't realize you were awake." Kurama told her making no move to come farther into the room than he'd stepped. "Am I interrupting?"

"Of course not." Shinpi shook her head, her own hair loose around her shoulders. "I was just trying not to wake anyone."

"I'm surprised you're not asleep, you've had a trying day."

"It takes more than exhaustion to still my mind unfortunately." She offered him a soft smile hoping to get one in return. Instead his dark eyes scanned over her, and she noticed he focused on her bared bruises. He looked to the side quickly after, squinting into the shadows. "I can go."

Quiet feet hit the ground as she stood, her forgotten book laid to rest on the arm of the chair she'd occupied. It was obvious he still didn't want to speak to her. Her apology could wait until he was ready to hear it, no sense in pushing him any further away. Just as she came to the conclusion Kurama strode over to her with purpose, his mouth set into a frown. He blocked her from moving farther, looking down at her face with his unhappy mask firmly in place. Maybe now was the right time then.

"I'm sorry for pushing you so hard." Shinpi muttered, looking away as she pushed her fingers through the hair at her crown, moving the hand to the back of her head as she hunched into her shoulders. "I realize I may have seemed like I wasn't getting the lesson but I assure I was. I'll prove it the next time I'm able."

"Are you leaving those so I'll have to see them?" Kurama swallowed, his throat moving audibly.

"What?" Shinpi blinked, taken back. "Leaving what?"

Those long fingers that had been so harsh against her skin earlier in the day were gentle as he pushed her hair away from her shoulder, cold fingertips just barely skimming over the damaged flesh he found. His other hand balled into a fist before he could stretch the fingers out again, something she caught. He assessed her arms and then exhaled heavily, eyes crinkling at the corners as his mouth screwed up in distaste for what he saw.

"I thought Hayato healed you." He breathed and she was surprised that he sounded ashamed. "Selfishly I had hoped he had."

"Why?" She tilted her head.

"Because I didn't want to see what I'd done to you." He stepped away from her and immediately his hand when to his bangs, heel of his palm moving to the bridge of his nose before his slid the hand down his face, allowing it cover his mouth as he looked at her again. Then the hand fell away and he looked away.

"I think it's very rude of you not to acknowledge my apology." She told him then, lifting her chin.

"What apology?" He stared at her.

"The one I just made. You didn't hear me did you?" She crossed her arms. It worked. Kurama's attitude shifted as confusion stole over his features.

Maybe he wasn't completely immune to all of her tricks after all, she thought as she tried not to smile about it. He seemed forlorn and she needed to bring him out of the mood.

"I said I was sorry that I pushed you so hard and that I'll prove I meant it when I said I'd ask for help." She repeated herself calmly. "I understand that you have a right to your anger with me, but I still don't like it. I was hoping our fight would be the end of it, but I'll keep trying to make it up to you."

"I'm not angry with you."

"Are you sure?"

"I think I'd be the expert here on how I'm feeling." He told her dully. He immediately regretted the tone because she went back to hunching her shoulders and wrapped her arms around her middle, becoming small and admonished. "I'm sorry you feel like I'm angry with you. I'm not."

"Okay." Shinpi nodded but she didn't look at him. "I think maybe I should go so you can have the room."

Kurama forced himself to be still for a second, to not react too much. Their fight had shaken something loose in him and he hated it because if he wasn't careful he would ruin his entire life. But there was no way he was letting Shinpi leave this room with that look on her face even if he had to lock the door to keep her inside. He couldn't bear it, that pained understanding in her eyes. Hayato's words haunted him.

He refused to be the one to ruin her happiness. That wasn't his role in this life. It couldn't be. Kurama valued, more than any of his daydreams or any of his wistful what-ifs, his friendship with Shinpi and he wanted to protect that treasure with all his strength. He would kill for it. He might have to die for it at some point. This was what mattered, just being there for her and her for him. Everything else could be dealt with and hopefully some of those dangerous emotions would fade with time, but this was something he wouldn't give up or tarnish. Being her friend meant the world to him. That's why he pushed her talk things out with Hiei. That's why he checked on her so much. And that's why he grabbed her arm to spin her around, dragging her to his chest so he could hug her maybe a little too tightly.

"Kurama?" Shinpi asked him, breathless in her surprise.

"I don't want to hurt you." He told her quietly, his voice rocky with emotions even he couldn't place.

"I'm sorry I made you."

He stood caught in her gaze more than aware he was balancing delicately between the truth he was willing to offer and the one he could never speak into existence. Probing indigo nearly black in the semi-darkness drug him down into the memory of the swollen pupil excitement she'd shown him in the forest. His head felt a little light. He was a man of two faces always it seemed. He bowed down and kissed her forehead gently to hide his expression from her because he knew his eyes were probably glinting and he needed to collect himself and put his best face forward. He was rattled, like the beast he locked in a cage in his mind, and it shook the bars in demand for something it would never taste.

It was never this bad. It was always tolerable. Their fight had made him greedier than he'd ever been before and it surprised him. This was not a consequence he had predicted or intended. He had no plan for this battery against his self control. What was he supposed to do? He had to tread lightly.

Remember what's important here.

He breathed in then out and when he pulled back he was able to smile at her like usual. Shinpi stared at him like she knew something wasn't right, her nose wrinkled slightly as though she could sniff out his secret. Good luck, he thought, because he was used to stashing valuable things where no one could find them.

"I'm a little disappointed you feel so strongly about all of this." Shinpi spoke, still scouring him for reactions. "While I thoroughly learned my lesson I have to admit, it left me hungry to fight you again. I bet I could learn a lot from you."

"I don't think that's a good idea." Kurama frowned. "Not with your penchant for causing trouble and drawing the worst reactions from people."

"That's not a penchant, it's a skill." She told him. "You didn't enjoy fighting me?"

"That's not the point." Kurama remained firm. Then he narrowed his eyes. "Besides, both you and Hiei felt it necessary to point out that I can't keep up with either of you as easily as I once could. What could you possibly get out of fighting me?"

"It would be mutually beneficial. You'd gain some of your endurance back and I'd learn how to win against you." She offered him a sly smile.

Kurama released her. This was not what he needed right now. "You're a menace. No."

"Why does everyone keep calling me that?" She asked not expecting an answer. She watched him collapse down onto the chaise lounge, hand covering his eyes so he didn't have to look at her. "You don't want to improve your stamina?"

"I can do that without you."

"So you specifically don't want to train with me." She walked over to his side with a smirk he couldn't see. Kurama was being stubborn and she wanted to know why but she was also trying not to push too far. He said he wasn't angry with her but he was obviously upset about something.

"Yes." He moved his hand so one eye could glare at her. "Stop looking at me like that."

"That's a little hurtful." She shrugged. "But I suppose I should respect your stance. It's a shame. It would be easier for me to call on you for help if I knew your limits were as boundless as my own."

"Don't." He warned her darkly. "Don't stand there and try to manipulate me into giving you what you want."

"Okay." She nodded allowing him to see her raised palms as though she were giving up, backing down.

He should have known better. She stepped up onto the chaise lounge like a queen climbing the steps to her throne stopping once one foot was on either side of his legs. It forced him to look up at her. Normally these games were fine. He didn't mind them. But his mood was borderline as he couldn't seem to trust himself. It wasn't her fault. She had no reason to think this was upsetting to him because it had never been a problem. Kurama bit his tongue to keep from telling her to get off of him. Shinpi dropped down to one knee, then the other her chin coming down as she placed her hands on the material on either side of his ribcage. He could not mistake her for anything other than a creature that hunted the night with her current posture.

Kurama came up onto his elbows with a glare, knowing what she was about to try. "Don't you dare do it, Hichi."

Her bottom lip came out a little bit, those doe eyes drilling into him with the force of a mountain landing on his chest. He knew what came next and he also knew his best friend was a brat who truly couldn't handle not getting her way.

"Please?" She asked him with that infuriating pout.

"No." He told her though he wavered a little. "Stop it. It's not going to work. Save your underhanded tactics for someone who will fall prey to them. Like Hiei."

"Fine." She shrugged and looked away shifting back to her knees. "I'll stop. It seems you've made up your mind on this matter."

Her fingers combed through her hair, pulling it back behind her shoulders. He knew she meant it, she was done. There would be no more pushing from her end. Her shoulders rounded slightly, her lips parted in disappointment that she didn't vocalize. He felt his resolve crack a little.

"Let me train on my own and I might reconsider at a later date." He allowed before he realized he was giving into her despite her giving up. Maybe Hiei was right and he needed to be more strong willed, set more boundaries. "Maybe. If you don't pester me about it."

"I'll be very patient." She nodded with a brilliant smile that blocked out the shadows as though she had won some landmark victory. He rolled his eyes at her. Her expression sobered then and she sat back on his legs, studying him. "Are we okay, Kurama? As it turns out, I really don't like you being angry with me. It's been keeping me up at night."

"Is that why you're in here?" He blinked, then softened considerably. "We're fine, Hichi. I'm sorry I've been making you feel this way."

"It's justified. I scared you. You're all right to be upset with me. I'm just not accustomed to it. I haven't disappointed this many people at once since Hai had to drag me home to my parents after I accidentally caused a riot in a tavern." She rubbed her neck, grimacing. "It's hard for me to ask for help, but I really am trying to work on it. I promise I am. Sometimes my wires get crossed and my focus on cases meets my urge to keep you all safe and it just feels better to do it alone because then I know I'm not risking anyone else."

Kurama sat up, one hand behind him to balance while she remained on his legs. "I know it's hard but you have to start doing it. We worry about you, Hichi. All of us. But I'm selfish so I'm going to focus on me and the fact that I don't know what I'd do if I lost you. Please don't ever make me wonder about that again. I'm begging you."

She nodded, once again admonished.

"Did you want me to read to you?" He asked gently. "I feel like all we've done is argue with each other and hash things out. I'd like to actually get to enjoy your company for a little while."

"I'd like that." Shinpi melted, that small smile returning just so it could stab him in the chest a weapon she didn't even realize she wielded. "Thank you."

The wind howled outside the windows of the room and Shinpi wrapped her arms around herself, rubbing at her skin which had become covered in gooseflesh. Reaching up, Kurama ran his palms over her forearms.

"You're freezing."

"It's not so bad." She argued quietly. "It's warmer here with you at least. These old rooms just aren't very well insulated."

He pursed his lips, using the softest touch he could muster to push her off of him. He peeled his sweater over his head, leaving him in a white t-shirt. Without really stopping to ask if it was alright he pulled the garment down over her head. She allowed her lips to form a small 'o' her hair staticy and mussed from the benevolent action. She opened her mouth to argue but he shook his head and she stopped before she even really tried. Pushing her arms through the sleeves she accepted the offering.

"Thank you." Shinpi told him, smoothing her hands over the soft material. Then she laughed softly, pulling the neck toward her nose and inhaling deeply. "We use the same laundry soap."

"Do we? I hadn't noticed." He lied because not only had he noticed, he'd started buying that brand just because she used it. She'd washed everyone's clothes at least once and he'd favored the way his smelled after she'd returned them. It was such a stupid thing to hold onto, but it was innocent. He'd even gotten his mother to switch to this detergent. "It must be popular."

"I just think it's nice that we think so much alike."

"Look out world, there's two of us now."

Shinpi grew still and shifted her attention around the room cautiously. Lowering her voice to a conspiratorial whisper she leaned close to him. "Do you sense that?"

He shook his head.

"It's the world laying itself out at our feet."

He chuckled and it shortly turned into a true laugh. Just like that, with one stupid joke the strangeness of the day vanished from his mind. He was himself again and Shinpi was her and they were best friends hanging out comfortably. No expectations, nothing between them that needed to be hid from prying eyes.

It was a short time later in that nebulous space between midnight and dawn where all time was the same, stretched seconds lasting for hours. Shinpi's head rested on Kurama's thigh, her body cuddled between his legs as he read to her, his fingers playing idly through the dark strands of her hair. At the end of the passage he lowered the book to his knee with heavy consideration of his thoughts. Maybe it was the hour, or the lack of sleep, or the softness of the moment but it felt like the moment to ask his burning question of the woman laying so comfortably in his lap, her hair fanned over his leg.

"Not to be indelicate," he started and even he knew he could have chosen his tired words better, "but how is it that you can so casually just bathe with Hayato? I don't understand your relationship with him very well. Hiei told me I had to ask you about it because he couldn't explain well enough to appease me. It just strikes me as unusual that two grown adults could just so carelessly do something so intimate without it meaning something."

"I didn't take you for a prude." Shinpi teased him in a murmur, too cozy to take anything to heart.

"It's not about being prudish." He tutted. "Please help me understand."

"Hayato and I have known each other a long time, Kurama. Nearly all my life, give or take a few decades. He has seen me at my highest and my lowest. He chose to follow me when any sane man would have fled."

"That doesn't explain anything."

"Bathing communally isn't something to be ashamed of in my family or my homeland. It's strange around here I suppose, to us it's just like sharing the bath with your sibling." Shinpi shrugged which turned into her snuggling more comfortably into the warmth he offered. "It's not as intimate as you think it is."

"Adult siblings of opposite sexes don't bathe together that often, that I'm aware of." He continued to pet her hair. "I'm not sure why Hiei isn't bothered by it."

"What's there to fear?" Shinpi posited sleepily just before yawning, a long blink with heavy lids following the act. "My love for Hayato is separate and incomparable to how I feel for Hiei or anyone else. Hai is family. He's a part of my soul, a part of what makes me who I am. He poses no threat to my relationship with Hiei."

Kurama still didn't understand but she was rapidly growing unable to string her words together he realized.

"He's just Hai." She mumbled, eyes closing and refusing to open again. "It's casual because it has always been this way. Leaves fall from trees and Hai is at my side."

Kurama looked down at her with amusement. She was having a hard time being coherent, her voice growing softer and softer with each syllable. He was losing her to the hungry embrace of sleep and he was okay with that. She needed the rest.

"He's the only part of me I love." Shinpi slurred before her words drifted off. "Little bird."

Kurama's fingers came to a stop as he studied her unconscious expression. Empty, no pain or malice, no frown following her into sleep. Her words were without consequence to her, some deeper truth in them just coming from a natural place in her heart. The only part of her she loved? He understood then that the reason Shinpi didn't find her relationship with the raven strange was simple. She didn't consider him to be a separate entity fully. To Shinpi, Hayato was a piece of her and she was a piece of him. What could possibly be strange about bathing with yourself?

That evoked a different series of questions. The most pressing being: Who was Hayato, the tired raven dogging Shinpi's heels and claiming a piece of her soul? Kurama imagined there was only one way for him to really answer that question.

He was going to have a friendly, investigative chat with Shinpi's little bird.