Nocturne - Chapter Fifty-Nine: Just Like That
Rated - M (for extremely suggestive adult themes, references to harsh violence, and coarse language)
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.
o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o
He watched her walk away, disappearing into the distance of the human village. She had bypassed everyone and everything in a singular mission to vacate the premises, which was unusual for the woman who never ran from a fight, nor ever left anyone behind.
Her smell lingered, tainted with traces of anxiety coupled with shame, both scents foreign and wrong. Her typical scintillating scent was always clean with a faint hint of honeysuckle that reminded him of a warm spring day. Her aroma was always pleasant, even when mired with perspiration from a long day, and even more enjoyable when heavy with the musk of pheromones. By her scent alone, he knew something inside had broken.
Sesshomaru felt embattled with himself, part of him roaring in anger, ready to lash out at the nearest warm body, and the other eager to bring the Miko back to his side. Neither would do at this moment, though he toyed with the idea of resurrecting the disembodied head of Fan Tsenpo and trifling with the fool mercilessly. He stamped the desire down, if only because he knew that Fan may yet gloat even from beyond the grave, and Sesshomaru's pride could not swallow the probable truth of the knave's words. At least, not with the wounds so fresh.
Bringing the woman to heel would likely have equally disastrous results. Her spirit, though broken, would not be tempered by an illusion of security. He could not pretend to keep her safe from the actions of a madman as they played out from within. No, he thought, his approach would have to be tactful and gentle though his instincts yet urged him to rush and claim what was his.
"Ahem, my Lord," a small voice interrupted his thoughts.
Sesshomaru tsked loudly, hissing out a breath of annoyance. Jaken looked up, one three-fingered hand on his hat to keep it in place as he stared up at his master. "Ah, apologies Master, but the Lady Tsering…" he trailed, looking over at the woman next to him, "ah, has requested permission to stay." The retainer's tone suggested Tsering had already asked Sesshomaru herself but was given no response.
He cut a look to the woman. She was beautiful in every aspect of the word, yet her poise and grace could not hold a candle to the fiery and capable Miko he claimed as his. Sesshomaru chuckled to think that the epitome of a perfect yokai female, a match for any eligible inu male, would pale in comparison to a human. Years ago, he would have killed any who suggested he would claim and love a human, but to think of any other was almost painful.
"You may do as you please. It is of no concern to this one," he stated. "Keep far from my holdings," he added quickly, "as I would believe your presence may bring displeasure to my mate and even the tolerance of your proximity is an allowance of a kind gesture."
Tsering drew her brows together and pursed her lips with unsaid words but remained silent with a retort. Her expression clearly showed that she expected a different response, though Sesshomaru neither knew nor cared.
She dipped her head respectfully. "As you wish, Lord Sesshomaru." She glanced over her shoulder towards the remaining group of people beyond, looking at Inuyasha, who glared after her. She set her eyes on the horizon and let out a breath.
"My words will mean little," she began, speaking clearly and allowing her voice to carry, "but I sincerely apologize for all that has happened to you in the wake of my brother. I know I am allowed to leave by your grace and wander a different path."
Inuyasha stared at the back of her head, his gaze furious and piercing. Sesshomaru knew that his younger brother might not share his leniency with the woman, but that was no longer his burden to carry. The words that Tsering spoke now seemed to be for the hanyou's benefit regardless.
Once she was done, Tsering looked into Sesshomaru's eyes with earnestness. Her voice was now but a whisper. "You know as I do what must be done." Without elaborating, she rushed off, jumping up and flying into the distance.
"What did that woman mean by that sire?" Jaken wondered aloud.
"Nothing," he replied almost too quickly. He had a modicum of an idea of what she'd insinuated.
Jaken gripped his staff and scratched at his head. "What a strange woman to say such a strange thing to you, my Lord. It is as if she knows something. Are you certain you know not what she speaks?"
"Must I explain myself to you, Jaken?" He scolded. There was already enough pressure to take action, yet no clear path. Sesshomaru did not need the weight of the toads' scrutiny upon him as well.
"Of course not, master. I am only beside myself with worry. That duplicitous woman has been nothing but trouble from the moment she arrived. Good riddance, I say," he scoffed with a little nod of finality.
"Fetch Setsuna and head back to the castle," Sesshomaru ordered. "Do not wait for my return."
Jaken postulated, "Shall I not leave her here, sire? She is with her own kind who can care for her needs far better than I."
"Her own kind?" Sesshomaru repeated, sampling the ignorance upon his lips with distaste.
The toad noted his error and quickly retracted his words. "I-I only mean her, ah-uncle or-or the family of taijiya. They are well suited for the care of younglings, and they have many of their own."
"Do as I command, and watch your tongue. I have far surpassed my allotment of leniency today, and I am still in a murderous mood." Sesshomaru looked coldly down his nose at the imp, allowing his displeasure to pour through his gaze.
Jaken prostrated himself before his master, "Of course, Lord Sesshomaru, I grovel at your feet and ask your forgiveness." The imp grasped for his boot, but Sesshomaru kicked him off in annoyance. Jaken simpered at the gesture but quickly righted himself and ran to collect Setsuna.
Sesshomaru closed his eyes for a second, ridding himself of the annoyance he felt at the toad. The retainer was loyal to a fault and slow to forget the hubris typical to yokai of their status. He had once been of an unmalleable mind towards humans and half breeds alike. Now, he set off to find the one responsible for thawing his heart and his perspective.
o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o
Kagome had left Setsuna in the care of Sango and gone to check on Rin and her newborn child. It was an as good excuse as any to keep her busy and her mind off torturous memories. It would be an understatement to declare what she'd made an escape, but that is essentially what had occurred. She'd run at the first opportunity presented after all had unfolded. The thought of sticking around to celebrate or pretend she was not dying inside was more than she could bear, so she hurried off under the illusion that others needed her help, which wasn't necessarily a lie, but not a complete truth either.
The village had been quiet as all lamented or rejoiced in solemnity. As she'd made her way through the streets, those still outside would bow their heads respectfully in her direction, but none approached. Did they know, she wondered with apprehension gnawing at her insides. On any other typical day, she would have been held up at any opportunity to come to tend to the hurts of the village. Given that today was as atypical as they come, it was still worrisome that after a battle where many had taken injury, no one had inquired for her assistance. She chewed the inside of her cheek to keep her thoughts in check and pressed on.
Her time spent checking on the young mother's welfare was relatively brief, and she would not let herself linger nor be deterred. Kagome found that Rin delivered a healthy baby girl, who she had named Sayuri. After assuring all was well and both mother and child had all they needed, Kagome made to leave.
"Kagome?" Rin called out, sensing something amiss.
Kagome clenched her fists to her sides and hurried out, feigning she had not heard her name and making to escape any form of questioning that Rin may have for her, good intentions aside. She could barely stand her thoughts and knew she was ill-prepared to answer anyone else. Rin may wonder after her, but she would do no more.
Kagome moved back into the streets and followed the sounds of those in need. They may not seek her out independently, but she would offer assistance regardless.
o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o
Throughout the rest of the day and the next day and the next, Kagome made her way through the village and helped where she could, offering medical assistance to those in need. Along the way, she had found and changed clothes to change into, given to her by a thoughtful woman she had come across.
Once or twice Sango had approached her with concern and attempted to stop her from carrying on in such a strange, detached fashion.
"Kagome," Sango had stopped her friend before she'd entered the house of an injured villager, "please take a break. You also need to heal." Her friend wrung her hands together with desperate unease.
There was no answer Kagome could give. Not one that her friend would understand. She quickly responded to her friend in simple terms, "They need my help." Looking imploringly upon her friend, she added, "It's our fault this happened…my fault, by all means, so I cannot sit idly by while the innocent suffer."
Sango shook her head in mild disbelief. "Nothing was your fault." Taking a step forward, she hesitated when Kagome took a retreating step back as if she would bolt at any moment. "You cannot blame yourself for the actions of a madman, Kagome. This has impacted us all in some way." Her eyes flitted off in a different direction for a brief moment, but Kagome caught the glance and knew what would come next. Sango looked pained as she took in a breath, and awkwardness overcame her at having this conversation. "Look, Kagome…Lord Sesshomaru has been waiting," she tried.
Kagome looked down quickly, taking another step back towards the door of the house she was preparing to enter. "Yes, I know." He had approached her several times, but Kagome had fled into the next home she could find, claiming to be checking on the injured. She knew or rather hoped he would not follow her out of respect for her status as a healer.
"It is rather awkward hosting him in our home, Kagome." Sango looked at her friend with pleading eyes. "You both have been through much, as have we all…" she hesitated.
Kagome clutched her neck, feeling guilt that Sango had not been given time to grieve with her family. They had lost a child, one of the twins, who had been maliciously murdered by Fan's army shortly before the village had been attacked. Everyone had been touched by the Fan's evil, and some suffered from the after-effects more than others. She felt a twinge of nausea at the thought.
Kagome set her jaw. "Send him away. He should be with our daughter. I am fine. Tell him lies if you must, but I cannot return yet."
A young boy looked out from the small house, eyeing the two women curiously who conversed in front of his home. "Lady Miko, my mother sent me to guide you in."
Kagome forced a small smile. The house was small, likely no larger than two rooms, but sound carried throughout such a tiny abode, even if the noise carried from the doorstep. The mother likely anxiously awaited Kagome's help to tend to a wounded spouse or child. "Tell her I will be in presently."
Sango sighed and crossed her arms. "Kagome, please don't do this."
"I am helping those in need. I'm doing exactly what you would if our positions were reversed," she responded almost tersely, escaping inside before Sango could press any more guilt upon her.
Kagome entered the house, evading more questioning and well-intentions from Sango. It felt wrong to push off her friends and pawn her daughter off on any of them, but her world felt as though it would crumble down around her and the only thing holding her afloat was her duty to others as a capable miko. But just like that, she smoothed her skirt and continued inside, leaving the responsibility to herself, her friends, and her family aside.