"I am certain you are overreacting, Rose." Lissa glanced at me; I was guarding her, but we were in her office, so I took advantage of the opportunity to vent. Christain wasn't here, meaning Dimitri also isn't here.

"I never overreact," I sighed as I glanced at her. "Dimitri would never force you to have children, and the Rose I know isn't easily manipulated.I don't think the Dimitri I know would put any pressure on you." She looked at me, oblivious to the work that had piled up on her desk.

"I'm not saying he's forcing me to have children; I want children. I'm just not sure if I'm capable of being a mother or if I'd be alright with the entire surrogacy thing." That was partially true; I did want children... my own children, and I'm not afraid to be a mother. Of course, lying about insecurities was easier than telling the truth, but what was the truth? That I was guilty because I couldn't provide Dimitri and me with the family we desired?

"Okay, Lissa", I said as I stood up. "Damn what would I do without you."

"Well, I'm very sure you wouldn't be as rational as you are right now." She said something that made us both laugh. I then switched the subject to her. "How are you and Christian doing?" I inquire. Even the mention of his name caused a slight flush to appear on her face. "I'm not sure I could come up with a better term than incredible. I get butterflies simply thinking about spending the rest of my life with him."

I chuckle, but I can't help but feel a pang of jealousy. I wish Dimitri and I could have a wonderful relationship like that." I'm delighted to hear that, Lissa." I could feel her feelings, and a wave of warmth washed over me. This is one of the very few situations when I'm grateful I was able to sense her feelings.

Not only that but just talking to her lifted some of my doubts. She was my best friend in the entire world, and I was glad she was still here. But no matter how much I wanted to say something, I couldn't have her worrying about me right now. She had enough on her plate.

"Hey, Liss, I'm leaving right now. If I'm going to undertake this whole...surrogacy thing, I'm going to have to do some research." I hugged her goodbye and walked out of her room to the library.

When I arrived, I went straight to the anatomy section of the library, where I grabbed at least ten books and sat down. I started reading the first one until I came across the word surrogacy. I felt a shiver run down my spine. No one was pressuring me to do this, and it appeared as if I was simply giving in to the idea. No... What am I thinking... It's research, that's it. Right?

I was going over these documents, but I couldn't understand a word of them. "Fuck it, I'll just make Dimitri do the research, it was his idea." It wasn't that I didn't want to understand; it was just that I didn't want to have a child with anybody else. If we truly want children, I don't believe I have much of a choice. I needed some fresh air because this was giving me a terrible headache.

I walked out of the library, taking a deep breath once I made it outside. That made me feel a little better but at the same time, I needed something more. I think I just needed Dimitri… Guess I know where I'm going. I shot Lissa a quick text, asking about her fiance's whereabouts... I hated describing him like that, more or so me disliking him... But that's a story for another time.

She replied quickly, luckily, he wasn't busy... Which meant Dimitri wasn't busy. I quickly made my way over Christian's room.

As I reached the door, I heard footsteps. I knocked and waited for a response. Dimitri answered, I did want to see him, I did want to talk. But it still sent a shiver through my body. He looked at me, a bit confused based on his facial expression. "Roza? What are you doing here?" He looked at me.

"Can we talk?" I looked at him, pleading with my eyes. I gave him a pleading smile. He looked back at Christain who gave him a thumbs up.

I lead him outside and we began our walk. I grabbed his hand, interlocking our fingers, pulling him along with me. "This whole…surrogacy thing, it's weird and.." stopped to find words." I don't understand how it works." I look at him, my eyes asking for answers.

"Well Roza, for this to work we would need another man-" I didn't let him finish, interrupting him, "I know, I know. That's the hard part for me to come to terms with." I wanted so bad to have kids with him. The thing is that it wouldn't be our child, it's weird. it would be mine and some other man.

"I want it to be our child, not just one of ours." A tear began running down my cheek, but I let my hair hide it. "Would you even love the baby as much?" I feel him plant his feet and pull me close.

"Roza if I ever hear you say something like that again, I won't let you kiss me for a week. You are the most important thing in my life and I would love that child just as much." Fresh tears ran down my face and I felt him push the hair out of my face.

Placing his hands on my cheeks he wiped them away with his thumbs. "You know, your so stupid sometimes Roza", he says with a laugh. "Asshole", I say as I get on my tippy toes and press my lips against his. Instantly warmth coursed through my entire body and I started to calm down.

Once we broke from our kiss we started talking about serious things again. "So for this to happen, we need another man to donate sperm. They then take one of your eggs and start the process. The next thing is placing that embryo into your ovaries." Wow, that was a lot of information at once, he had definitely been thinking about this.

I feel better though and finally decided. "I want to do this with you, Dimka" I look up at him. He smiled down at me, his arm around my waist as we began walking again.

"I'm glad, Roza," He said as we walked back to Christain, I loved his smile even if it was one I didn't see often. I think he could tell that I kept looking up at him to see it. I looked away quickly, "So um... Whos uh sperm would we use?" I asked, my eyes facing the ground… I was relying on him for direction, not even looking ahead.

"Christain? We can go talk to him?" He looked over at me, I didn't need to see him... I could feel his glare.

Authors note - I know, surprised? Christain *gasps evilly*

One more chapter will be uploaded today! YAY!