CHAPTER NINETY-SEVEN

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Its 23 minutes later when the doctor comes back into the room with Anne behind him and two other people I don't recognise. I almost protest when one of the strangers comes and lifts Abel out of my arms but bite my tongue when Anne smiles gently at me.

Abel squawks loudly at being disturbed from his nap but he's taken out and across the hallway with the doctor and the door swings closed. The other man that I didn't recognise starts pulling plugs out of the machines and hangs them over the various displays until the incubator is free from all cables. He pushes it towards the wall and steps outside, pushing a normal white hospital cot in front of him which is slid into the gap made by the incubator.

Once everything is in place and the brakes are snapped onto the crib he pushes the incubator out of the room and leaves, never having said a word. I cock my eyebrow at Anne "He's a talkative one."

Anne laughs and shrugs "Some of them are just too into their jobs. I'll go see how the tests are doing, they shouldn't be long. We did all the blood tests yesterday; this is only reflex and a breath oxygen level test, which may be what's taking so long. Some babies don't like the masks they have to wear; in fact no baby likes the mask they have to wear."

Anne slides out of the room, the door almost closing before she opens the one on the other side of the hall but through the twin gaps I can hear Abel crying in distress and before I realise it I'm on my feet, only Jax's hand grabbing hold of my arm has me stopping mid-step.

I turn my look on him and he takes a step backwards in shock "Darlin', relax. Abel's fine. They're not hurting him."

Gemma rests a hand on my arm "Baby, you have to trust them. They've been doing this for a lot of years. They're not hurting him; he just doesn't like whatever it is that they are doing."

My eyes narrow "I don't give a fuck if he doesn't like what they are doing to him, he's in there crying because he's upset and I sure as shit am not going to sit here like a pussy and wait till they're done."

Gemma looks just as shocked as Jax and he drops my hand long enough to wrap his arms around my waist from behind me and starts whispering in my ear "Darlin', I want nothing more than to go in there and empty my Glock into them for making our son scream like that. But it's what they have to so you have to calm down."

My eyes are still firmly fixed on the door when Gemma blocks my view, her hands coming up to land on my cheeks "Sarah Hale, calm the fuck down before you blow a valve. Abel is fine, he will be back with you in a few minutes so just relax and let them do their jobs. Whatever is happening behind those doors needs to happen so that Abel can come home."

My glare doesn't lessen until the door across the hall opens and the unfamiliar nurse steps out, Abel in him arms, Abel's face is red and splotchy with tears. They're barely in the door before I've scooped him out of his arms and crossed the room to the lazy boy, sitting down and cooing softly to him. His screams die down quickly but the tears rolling down his face take several minutes to stop.

When the tears have dried up and he's only occasionally sucking in a rough breath I finally look up and meet Jax's eyes growling out "Don't you ever try and keep me away from my son again." My gaze fastens on Gemma. "I will not let you. Either of you, I may not have given birth to this boy but he is mine in every single fucken way that matters and you both stood there and made me listen as he screamed his heart out."

Jax blinks several slow blinks before crossing the room but my furious shake of my head stops him in his tracks "No, don't you dare try and stop me from feeling fucked off at you right now Jackson, I love you and that will never change but right now if you get within arm's reach I will not be held responsible for what I do to you."

Jax holds his hands up and wisely backs up so he's with his mother by the door, the pair of them completely speechless which I'm glad for, the sound of their voices would likely shove me over the edge and I'd let loose with the rant that's on the tip of my tongue.

Glancing back down I meet Abel's eyes and as they slowly drift closed I feel myself relax with him, the redness fading from his cheeks as he drifts to sleep. It's another 15 minutes of very tense silence in the room before Anne comes back in the door, her eyes taking in me sitting in the lazy boy and Jax and his mother right beside the door "We all right in here?"

I nod and glance over at Jax and Gemma "I may have overreacted slightly to Abel crying."

Jax smiles and crosses the room in a couple of strides, crouching down beside the chair and resting his hand on my arm "Darlin' it's okay. I get it, I do."

Gemma shakes her head as she crosses and carefully sits beside me on the arm of the chair "If I hadn't been a mother with a child who regularly cried during hospital related stuff I would have reacted the same as you. It makes me very grateful that you did. It shows me even more that you love my son and my grandson enough to go into battle for them regardless of what the opposition."

Gemma leans over and kisses me on the cheek putting her lips beside my ear "You've always been part of my family, but you've just proved it even more than you even realised. Love you baby."

I smile softly at Gemma as I lift Abel slightly and kiss his forehead, the smell soothing the last of my ruffled feathers. Gemma stands up and turns back to look at Anne "Sorry about that, just first time mother nerves."

Anne shakes her head "No worries I just wanted to let you know that the doctor is just looking at the tests, he'll be along soon. I have to go check with my other patients. I'll be back in about 5 minutes."

Anne leaves the room and walks down the hall, Jax goes back to his feet and carefully pulls me off the seat, sitting down and tugging me into his lap. Slowly running his hand over my arm he nuzzles into my hair "You okay now Darlin'?"

I shrug "I don't know. I'm sorry I reacted like I did. I feel a little silly now."

Jax shakes his head with a laugh "Like Ma said it just shows how much you love him."

"And you." I say in a whisper.

Jax pulls his head away from my hair "I know that too." Jax puts his mouth right by my ear and whispers in such a low voice that only I hear "It was kinda hot."

I giggle and move Abel a little in my arms "I really am sorry, both of you. I guess I didn't realise just how much hearing him cry would affect me."

Gemma shakes her head and puts her hand over mine "Baby its fine. I know exactly how you felt. JT just about had to have me sedated the first time that Thomas cried because of something that a doctor was doing to him."

I giggle in a completely inappropriate way and Gemma attempts to glare at me before laughing herself "I really did think you were going to bite Jax's hand off though."

I shrug "It was a possibility if he'd touched me right in that second."

Jax pokes his finger into my side "Hey, I'm right here you know."

I nod and lean against him "I know."

I pass Abel over to Jax, finally willing to let go of him and get to my feet "I think if they're going to do stuff like that again its best that I'm not on the same floor."

Gemma laughs and agrees with me as the door opens and the doctor comes back in with a smile.

"So, how is he doing now? Nurse Richards said that you were a bit concerned at how upset he was."

I nod and Jax opens his mouth but snaps it closed when I look over at him "Yeah, I was a little concerned. He seemed to take a long time to calm down from whatever it was."

Dr Namid lifts the page he'd brought in with him "It is a normal reaction, I assure you. Babies don't understand why we are putting masks over their faces and they don't like it. With limited visibility anyway the mask blocks out a portion of what they can see and it can be quite upsetting for them."

He takes several long seconds reading some of the information on the page before looking up and focusing his attention on Jax "All the tests we have done are absolutely fine, we have set a release date of July 10th, provided that nothing goes backwards between now and then."

Jax nods and glances over at me "So what happens now when we come to visit?"

Dr Namid smiles "Well, we will still be monitoring him, but they are all visual checks now. So when you come in you are most welcome to take him out whenever you like. All we would ask is that you make sure he is given some sort of routine. If you are going to come in at a certain time each day let the nurses know, if you want to be here for a particular feeding then let them know. This helps us with the planning of his day, but it will also be a great help for you when he goes home."

Jax nods and hands Abel off to his mother as he and the doctor leave the room and walk down the hall still talking about the next steps. Gemma adjusts Abel slightly in her arms and looks over at me "I know you're waiting for me to blast you for speaking to me like you did and rest assured anyone else would have had strips torn off them by now but I'm not going to."

"Why?" The whispered word is full of confusion, I've known Gemma many years and I've never ever seen someone get away with speaking to her the way I just did, and that her son was in the firing line as well makes it double shocking that I'm not being lectured by now.

Gemma starts walking slowly across the room, her arms bouncing lightly with Abel's sound asleep weight "I told you JT almost had me sedated the first time Thomas had to have something done. That was only a half truth." Gemma carefully kicks the door closed and leans against the wall beside it. "He was gone before you moved to Charming but Thomas was the dead ringer of JT. I'm not sure where the blonde in Jax comes from but JT and Thomas were both dark haired, dark eyes that could see right through you. Thomas's birth wasn't easy, Jax was so excited to be an older brother but we knew right away that Thomas wasn't going to be as blessed as Jax. It was obvious within a few weeks that he'd inherited a huge disadvantage from me in the form of the heart condition. He was okay for about 18 months but then he got sick, and just wouldn't get better. JT and I ended up here one afternoon at about 3pm with him. He'd developed a rash and hadn't eaten much in almost 24 hours. They took him away from me and drew blood then started running tests."

Gemma stops talking for a second and looks down at Abel sadly "When the nurses and the doctors came back in it was the worst feeling in the world. Seeing three people that you've seen in passing once coming into a room where you're trying to comfort your son is hard enough. The fact they were carrying tissues and chairs didn't help. I almost didn't let them say anything but I was stuck to my chair like someone had put a 10 tonne weight on my lap."

"I don't remember a lot of the conversation that we had, occasionally I'll remember snippets of it and it just reminds me of how heart breaking it was. They managed to tell me what was wrong and what was going to happen, Thomas was going to be taken in the following morning for the first of the surgeries he was going to need to fix the damage my DNA did to his heart. I didn't sleep at all that night; I refused to leave the side of his bed in case something happened while I was gone. 2 hours before he was due in surgery the pre-op team came in to get us to sign the forms but by then I was pretty much catatonic. JT did it all, listened to what was happening, heard the possible side effects, and all about the chance that our baby wouldn't make it through the operation. I didn't absorb a single word of it; they may have been talking French or German for all I understood."

Gemma lifts her eyes to me and I can see the pain that's still there even after all these years. "They tried to take him out of the bed and I wouldn't let them. I started screaming and crying. JT was completely unable to do anything to console me. I woke Thomas up and he started crying as well which just made it worse. JT got the doctors out of the room and they had a 10 minute conversation in the hall while I sat in the corner holding Thomas like my life depended on it. When they came back in it was only JT and one of the doctors. I had no clue as to what was going on till JT came and took Thomas out of my arms and left the room. I tried to get up and find out what was going on but the doctor jabbed me in the arm. So when I said they almost had to sedate me I was lying. They did sedate me, I was unconscious through his whole first procedure and recovery, when I woke up I felt like shit. My baby had just been knocked unconscious and cut open while I snored on a bed somewhere. I refused to be anywhere but at his side for every procedure after that. He was put under the anaesthetic in my arms and he woke up in my arms, so believe me when I tell you I understand how hard it is to be standing there listening to your child crying in pain and not being able to do anything about it. Jax doesn't remember it thank god, but he does remember how hard it was every time Thomas had to have something done."

The door slowly opens beside her and Gemma's head swivels and takes in Jax's form stepping through the door his expression sad. Wrapping his arms around his mother and son he kisses her cheek softly "I knew Ma, but I knew that you needed me to ignore the emotions you saw as weakness."

I get to my feet and cross the room, pressing my hand into the middle of Jax's back "I've gotta go baby."

Jax nods and reaches back with one hand to squeeze my hand gently "Be safe."

I smile and kiss Gemma on the cheek, whispering into her ear "Emotion isn't weakness Aunt Gemma. Emotion and our ability to show it is what makes us perfectly human."

Gemma meets my eyes and the shine in her eyes seems odd till I notice the tears that are hovering on her eyelashes. She blinks once and a pair of tears drops from her lower lashes falling to Abel's forehead. Kissing her cheek again I squeeze her arm and lean over kissing Abel's cheek "Love you little man."

Jax slides his arm around my shoulders and pulls me to his side, his lips resting on my forehead "Call me when you're done and I'll see you at the clubhouse?"

I nod "I've gotta go pick up clothes first, but I'll be there about 5 probably."

Jax kisses me on the forehead and lets go of me "Okay. Love you babe."

"Love you too Jax."

**My daughter was diagnosed with cancer when she was 18 months old. She had a rash that we thought was menigitis, turned out to be Acute Lymphoblastic Leukeamia. She started treatement the following day. To this day I don't rmember much of the first week after her diagnosis, 2 years later she was cleared. She's now 12 going on 21.