Time: 1834

The sterile lights flickered for a fleeting moment. The world was blurred through tears. The frenzied energy of the room added to the heightened emotions of the sole Terran woman. Vulcans swarmed her with questions and cold glances. A multitude of voices and people were competing for Amanda's attention. She tried to look at the faces in front of her but failed. Instead she made eye contact with the white sterile lights on the ceiling causing her head to reel; anxiety pooled in her chest. The grief was a physical weight on her soul. This couldn't be real. She didn't want it to be.

She could see Saya looking into her eyes but she could hardly process what she was saying. Her eyes frantically looked over at the lifeless body that was on the bio bed. Healers were surrounding the lifeless body of T'Rama and trying to resuscitate her. The seconds felt like hours as the sound of the heart monitor droned on.

T'Pau bursted into her vision, almost looking like a wild old ghoul. She was speaking loudly in Vulcan and was berating Amanda. It scared her to see the older woman in such a state. Amanda could hardly keep track of all her words since she was speaking so fast. It was distracting to have Saya on her left and healers surrounding her.

Amanda's heart dropped when she saw a transporter beam in the room. She knew who it was. Her puffy tear filled eyes met Sarek's and she could see pain flash through them. She couldn't speak, she couldn't breath, only convulsive sobs came out of her mouth as complete and utter guilt washed over her.

6 hours earlier...

Time: 1230

"Lady Amanda."

"Yes, Saya?"

"I requested 6 Imperial officers to survey the restaurant that you are meeting Lady Remmoxa."

"Isn't that a little excessive?"

"After last night's events, no it is not. Did you review the emergency protocols?"

"Surprisingly, I did."

"'Surprisingly'? Have you not reviewed them in the past?"

Amanda laughed to herself, "I have reviewed them."

Well, that was a partial truth. She only would skim through them because they were so extensive that no one would have the time to read them all in one day. She had a feeling Sarek might read them though, and smiled at the thought.

They sat in silence in the hover car as Amanda was starting to see the familiar skyline of Shi'Kahr filled with Imperial Starfeelt Patrol ships. She knew Sarek was at the capitol building, she wondered what his day-to-day looked like with all his meetings. She had never seen his office yet. Would he show her if she asked? Vivid memories of their interaction this morning caused her face to feel warm. She was in trouble or at least her heart was. When did she become invested in him? Why did she find his slightly spicy smell comforting? She ached to be close to him. Just before breakfast she felt dead set on getting off the planet away from the Terran Empire. That desire was still there and she had done tons of research and been creating plans, but what about Sarek? Could she leave him? Would she be willing to sacrifice her freedom to be with one of the most powerful men in the Empire? The turmoil inside left her confused.

The hover car stopped and she took a deep breath. She was slightly nervous to be having lunch with the Lady of Betazed. Amanda didn't want to single handedly ruin relations between Vulcan and Betazed. She knew that was irrational, but she reminded herself of how kind the woman seemed to be as Saya opened the door for her. Amanda took a look at the restaurant. It was extravagant. There were no other guests. There were only Starfleet officers doing surveillance. It was a reminder of the tension that still existed in the city after the previous night's events.

Amanda walked into the empty restaurant to the table that Lady Remmoxa was sitting at. The Betazoid woman smiled easily as Amanda walked to her. She was put immediately at ease and she wondered if that was Lady Remmoxa's empathic abilities. Amanda guessed that was more likely than not.

"Lady Amanda, I'm glad to see you are all in one piece."

"Same for you, Lady Remmoxa. How did you and Governor Grax escape last night?"

Amanda sat down in her chair as Lady Remoxxa replied, "It was a bit of a fiasco. We tried to get beamed off the premises but it was blocked. We escaped out through one of the greenhouses with our security detail. Never in all my years a First Lady had I been forced to flee for safety like that."

"I was also surprised by it. Sarek was going on about how he was going to bring the Ak'spar to justice."

"Maybe insurgent groups have been too scared to do something like this or Governor Grax and I have just been lucky."

"How long have you and Governor Grax been elected to oversee Betazoid?"

"It's been 65 years now."

Amanda's eyebrows shot up, "That is a very long time."

"It has been."

"Do you have any advice for someone like me?"

"Each planet is so different culturally. I don't think the same advice will be completely helpful, but I think I can tell you a thing or two about how to handle the situations you will find yourself in when you are bumping shoulders with high profile people in the Terran Empire."

"Really? Would you be willing to help me with that?"

"Of course. I wish someone was there to mentor me with all that."

"T'Rama has been helping me a great deal. Her vast knowledge and cultural context of Vulcan has been extremely helpful. I would love some mentorship about the finer details of the role though."

"Anytime. I'm sure we won't be able to even cover everything today, we should keep up correspondence."

The two ladies continued to chat as the waiter came to their table to tell them about their prefixed 3 course lunch. The first course was something that looked like a salad of root vegetables. Amanda was unsure of what it was but as she took her first bite her eye opened wide and she had to cover her mouth as she said "wow." Lady Remmoxa only smiled at her reaction, and Amanda for once felt excited to see a smiling face looking back at her.

"Have you found how best to support Governor Sarek?"

Amanda set down her fork, "I have not quite found where I fit into all of this. I know I will be attending events on my own and support him that way, but as a Terran who is now a Vulcan citizen I am still trying to understand the nuances of Vulcan culture."

"Your perspective as a Terran might be useful to him as he navigates the Governor's Circle and deals with various Terran officials, even the Empress."

"He did mention to me this morning that I was his teacher on all things Terran," Amanda chuckled.

"It's true, who would be better to educate him on the nuaciase of Terrans than a Terran, and one who was once an educator."

"You know about my teaching background?"

"Yes, it is public knowledge. Your whole file is in the Terran Empire Database."

"I haven't looked at my public file in a long time."

"I just wanted to make sure I knew more about you."

Amanda smiled, feeling a little uneasy at the comment, but pushed through her discomfort. "Well, I unfortunately do not know as much about you? Could you tell me how you met Governor Grax?"

"Ah, yes. Governor Grax and I met at a youth academy as teenagers. He was in a class above me in school. He is a part of the Fifth House, the House of Nobility. I was a part of the Tenth House, the House of Perseverance."

"The house structure on Betazed is for the most elite in society, correct?"

"Yes, our houses have had a bit of a rivalry for a few millennia now."

"Interesting. So how did you decide to get married?"

"We both went to the same university. I was studying Data Science and Andrus was studying Political Science. His father was the previous Governor of Betazed."

"I see that Vulcan isn't alone in that then."

Remmoxa laughed, "No it certainly is not."

The next course was brought out and the meal progressed. The two continued to talk about everything from Lady Remmoxa's two adult children to art, and even where the best casinos existed in the Terran Empire. It was a little strange to be eating expensive food and talking about the luxuries their lives entitled them to. It made Amanda feel a bit like an imposter. She shook the feeling. Amanda had no choice but to play the part.

"Amanda, I have to leave since Andrus and I have business to take care of on Betazed soon. Please contact me if you need anything or have any questions. I will give my advice freely. More people like us need to form alliances. There needs to be more of this in the Terran Empire"

Amanda quirked her eyebrow at her last statement. She responded, "Of course, Lady Remmoxa."

"Please just call me Remmoxa. I look forward to keeping touch."

The elegant woman got up from the table with a smile and gave a modest salute. She left Amanda by herself, and Saya was by her side in an instant once the Lady of Betazed was gone.

"Lady Amanda you have an appointment with T'Rama in 1.2 hours. I suggest we leave."

"I understand. Let's go Saya."

The two walked to the hover car with the horde of Imperial Starfleet officers following them. Amanda settled into her seat and Saya sat near her. She stared at the young beautiful Vulcan who seemed so mysterious in front of her.

"Saya, where did you grow up?"

Saya seemed a little taken back but remained phlegmatic. Amanda guessed that most Vulcan's didn't engage in small talk, especially with their bosses.

"I grew up in Raal near the Voroth Sea. My father was a farmer of Rilian mollusks for medical purposes."

"There is an ocean on Vulcan?"

"A sea," Saya corrected.

"I thought this whole planet was a desert?"

"It is mostly desert but there are bodies of water that exist on the planet. Most of the water supply is underground."

"Interesting, why did you decide to become a bodyguard?"

"My clan was not financially stable like other clans on Vulcan. I had to start working on the farm with my father by age 5. I started to learn Klingon martial arts when my father was away in between shipments. I found an interest in having power and control through my physical body. It connected me to my katra and allowed me to develop my logic. All this training prepared me for my own kahs-wan. Not only did I complete it, I was able to stay in the desert for an additional 20 days."

"That is impressive. I don't think I have heard of an adult Terran doing that let alone a child," Amanda paused, "Why didn't you join Starfleet if you are so physically disciplined?"

"I did not want to join Starfleet since I had to support my family here on Vulcan. The political hierarchy of Starfleet did not interest me. I decided to go to Shi'kahr University with the funds I had stored away over 15.7 years. I studied anthropology there but found that after graduating my true passion was always in mastery of my physical form."

"So you became a private bodyguard for various high profile people?"

"Correct."

"And that's how you met Tevak?"

"Yes."

"He told me you met about 6 years ago?"

"Yes, 6.37 years to be precise while at a training studio. We did not work together until a year ago."

"What was the mission?"

"We were tasked with guarding the owner of the Vulcan Galupik Industries on a mission for weapon production on Betazed."

"Was it an eventful mission?"

"There were 2 Klingon insurgents on our star cruiser. They were easily eliminated. That is when we started to tally our enemies for sport."

"So who has eliminated more enemies overall?"

"I have."

"By how much?"

"I'm at 155. Tevak is at 150. At times he has gotten close to closing the gap."

Amanda laughed, "I'm happy you are the one winning. I think I'll keep rooting for you."

"I only wish to serve the Terran Empire this way, Lady Amanda."

There was a pause in the conversation, and Amanda felt it was a good time to ask her burning question, "So, you and Tevak?"

"What are you referring to?"

"Well neither you nor Tevak happen to be bonded. I was just wondering if something was going on between you."

"Per the contract I signed for this job I am not allowed to have a personal relationship with my colleagues."

"That could be easily changed, Saya."

The Vulcan turned fully to look at Amanda, "My contract is with the governor."

"I understand that. He also happens to be my husband."

"Elaborate."

"Hypothetically speaking, if you and Tevak ever wanted to explore a more personal relationship, I could always talk to Sarek. I'm sure he would listen to me."

"This is only hypothetical. If it ever were to be true, I will make sure to inform you. At the moment Tevak and I are colleagues."

Amanda smiled at the stoic woman, "Don't be afraid to discuss it with me in the future. You are one of my allies and friends here. I want to help you if you ever need it."

The Vulcan woman seemed confused, "You are referring to me as a friend when I am compensated to protect you."

"That might be true, but I am fond of you and I appreciate your presence."

"Interesting. I find that I mutually agree with that sentiment. I only wish to serve and protect you with my dying breath"

Amanda smiled at Saya who had a slight softness to her eyes.

The time moved quickly as the hover car approached the ancestral home. The schedule for the day was jammed packed and Amanda looked at Saya as she started to speak again.

"Lady Amanda, your schedule is booked for the afternoon with T'Rama."

"Yes, I remember. Thank you, Saya."

They both got out of the hover car. Amanda looked around the hanger and she could see T'Pau staring at her with disapproval. The woman stood a little taller and walked away.

Saya commented, "The clan matriarch should show the Lady of Vulcan more respect."

Amanda raised her eyebrows. She was surprised by her comment, "I didn't know that you had a dislike for T'Pau."

"T'Pau has illogically made you an enemy. It is my job to notice all threats to your safety within and out of the clan."

Amanda laughed and Saya raised her brow, "Thanks Saya. I'm happy to have you as a friend. I best get going or T'Rama will chastise me for my tardiness."

Saya gave the Terran salute, "I only wish to serve the Terran Empire."

Amanda got out of the car and started to head towards T'Rama's quarters. T'Rama was waiting for her in her sitting room while playing the ka'arthyra. The melody was haunting and chilling.

"I did not know you played the ka'rathyra, T'Rama."

T'Rama looked up at Amanda, "Yes. I have played it since I was a child."

"You play beautifully."

"It is the Psalm of Kal Rekk."

"Kal Rekk? Like the holiday?"

"Correct. It is approaching. It is a time for atonement, solitude and silence."

"Could you teach me how to play one day?"

"I can. I used to teach Sarek when he was young."

"Really?"

"Yes, but he was more fascinated by hover cycles and mechanics."

A laugh escaped her mouth, "Sarek told me all about that."

"After your escape from the Ak'spar yesterday, I'm sure he told you of my disdain for them."

"He did."

T'Rama set down her ka'rathyra into it's case and stood up from the couch, "You had lunch with Lady Remmoxa. Was it successful?"

"I can report that everything went smoothly. I really like her. She is a remarkable person."

"Yes she is highly respectable. She and I are well acquainted."

"That makes sense given the fact you were the previous Lady of Vulcan."

"Yes she is a vital ally to have in order to survive in this universe."

"I don't doubt it."

"She not only is the Lady of Betazed but she comes from a dynasty of ancient royals on Betazed. Her predecessors were some of the first to mine for dilithium and market it to the Terran Universe."

"She mentioned only a little bit of this to me. I didn't know that she had that kind of power and influence."

"Yes, more than you could comprehend."

"I see."

T'Rama motioned for Amands to follow her to her kitchen. Amanda silently followed her mother-in-law.

"Let us drink some tea as we discuss things further."

Amanda poured the tea for her and then served herself, "Is there a particular topic you would like to discuss?"

"Could you restate that in Vulcan?"

Amanda quickly asked the question in Vulcan and T'Rama raised her brow, "You have improved rapidly. There is hope for you as the Lady of Vulcan."

Amanda gave a small smile. She relished in the compliment even if it was a very Vulcan one.

"Lesak," Amanda replied.

"I want to thank you for keeping my son safe last night."

"Oh, it was nothing."

"It was not nothing. You protected your bondmate, my son, the Governor of Vulcan from danger, even death."

"I wanted to protect him. It was just instinct."

"Regardless, I want to thank you for your courage."

Amanda nodded, "It was my honor to do so."

"Since you mentioned your interest in the ka'rathyra, shall we focus your studies on Vulcan music today?"

Amanda nodded, "I would love that!"

She followed T'Rama who carried tea for both of them to her personal living room.

"You do not need a learning dome to listen to music. We will listen to it here and discuss the cultural significance of various pieces."

T'Rama grabbed her PADD and started to swipe on the screen until a song came on the speakers in the room. The song began with a ka'rathyra solo until other instruments Amanda could not name were added to the orchestration. The symphony of sounds was touching. The song crescendoed to a loud passionate melody that made Amanda's heart swell. She had no idea that Vulcans had such emotionally raw music. The main melody softened and the remaining instruments slowly stopped until it was just the ka'rathyra playing it's lonely melody.

Amanda looked at T'Rama, "I would say that song was far from logical. It was full of raw emotion."

"You are correct. We have music from pre-reformation that captures the range of emotions a Vulcan can experience internally," replied T'Rama as she sipped her tea.

"What was the song about?"

"What is the topic of most Terran compositions?"

"Love? Sex? Heartbreak?"

"The second one."

Amanda felt her face get warm as this was not a topic she would ever discuss with her mother-in-law. She tried to remain calm and respond, "That would make sense according to the pre-reform Vulcan poetry we covered last week."

"Before Surak, Vulcans were free in their carnal appetites. They lacked logic and emotional control. Do you remember how the poet Yehenik described this?"

"I do not recall him ever talking about mating or intercourse?"

"His poetry is more cryptic so it circumvented censorship. Radical followers of logic around Surak's time destroyed other more graphic pieces of work."

"Vulcan has censorship?"

"Yes, during this time, followers of the Syrrannite movement found it illogical to preserve 'perverse' art, music or poetry that would hinder the progression of Vulcan. Thus only a few pieces exist today."

"That's horrible."

"That is history. Censorship is a recurring event in Terran history."

"I can't disagree."

"Now, how did Yehenik talk about this topic?"

Amanda paused for a moment recalling the passage of work. It seemed to describe the rotation of the Vulcan around it's sun. The importance of cycles and gravity. T'Rama decided to get up and gently pace the room as Amanda processed the information.

"It mentioned the importance of natural cycles," Amanda responded as T'Rama paced by her.

"That is correct. And?"

"The chemical process of fire and how it can destroy and create planets."

"Correct, now if you–" T'Rama paused and put her hand to her side dropping the delicate tea cup that was in her hand. It smashed to the ground and warm liquid spilled onto the cold floor. T'Rama's eyes started to roll back as she tried to reach for the side table next to her seeking to stablize herself. She missed and started to fall towards the ground.

Amanda rushed from her chair as T'Rama started to fall to the floor, "T'Rama! Are you okay? What do you need?"

T'Rama groaned uncharacteristically for a Vulcan, "I-I-I need to...seek medical attention from a healer immediately. I fear–my-my-my medical condition has decided to reappear."

T'Rama started to get beads of sweat on her forehead, and started to clutch at her side where her heart was. Anxiety was starting to overtake Amanda but she fought through it so she could focus on her mother-in-law, "Don't worry I will comm Saya right now and we will get you beamed to the nearest hospital."

Amanda gently set T'Rama down and rushed to her comm in the kitchen. Her hands trembled as she opened it. The dial tone droned on as she feared T'Rama would not make it.

"Yes, Lady Amanda?"

"I need you to beam T'Rama and I to a hospital! We can't wait. This has to happen now!"

"I will do so with haste. Pinpointing your exact location now."

"I am in T'Rama's quarters in her living room. She mentioned that her medical condition could be the cause."

"I will get a medical emergency teleport here shortly."

The line went dead and Amanda ran back to T'Rama and looked at her. Her expression seemed dazed but she was able to look into Amanda's eyes, "I am not leaving you, T'Rama. We'll get you to a healer soon. Everything will be okay."

T'Rama touched her face, "You are my daughter. I know you will not leave me."

Amanda felt a tear escape her eye. T'Rama touched the tear, fascinated by its occurrence. Her hand dropped and her eyes rolled back. A shockwave of anxiety overwhelmed Amanda.

"No! No! No! No! No! Stay with me T'Rama. Only a little longer. Please stay awake!"

She touched her mother-in-law's face hoping to keep her awake. A beam of light started to surround them and Amanda felt some relief knowing that her mother-in-law would be in good hands very soon. She held on tightly to T'Rama as they were getting beamed. Amanda blinked for a moment and they were in a medical room. It was disorienting with it's sterile lights. A horde of healers grabbed T'Rama from Amanda's arms and she followed them to the bio bed as they started to scan her without so much as questioning Amanda. The healers started to speak in rapid Vulcan as they started to grab hyposprays and inject it into T'Rama's neck.

Amanda walked closer to the bio bed and spoke shakely in Vulcan, "What's wrong with her?"

The healers raised their brows realizing that she spoke Vulcan. The rest of the team got back to work while the older male healer spoke to her, "T'Rama is experiencing a heart attack. She has had a history of this. We are administering benjisidrine to her to see if that will subdue the side effects. If that is not effective we will need to complete a transfusion."

"So is she going to be okay?"

"Okay? Her heart is currently under stress. I would not say she is okay. You must leave the room while we work on her. Leave."

The healer turned around and Amanda felt numb in her limbs. She didn't know what she was going to do. Overwhelmed with emotions she turned out of the room to a waiting room that was quiet and had only a few Vulcans who were staring intently at her as they recognized who she was. They whispered in Vulcan but Amanda did not care what they spoke.

Amanda heard another person get beamed into the room and Amanda saw that it was Saya.

"Lady Amanda is T'Rama harmed?"

"No, but she is experiencing a heart attack. The healers are doing everything they can." Amanda felt her lip tremble as she spoke. Adrenaline and shock going through her still.

Saya remained emotionless, but spoke to Amanda, "We must let the healers do what they can. All we must do is wait."

Amanda nodded and crossed her arms trying to soothe herself.

The seconds felt like hours as Amanda paced the small room. A healer came out and walked towards Amanda, "Lady Amanda–"

"Is T'Rama alive?" Amanda interjected.

"We have administered Benjisidrine to her system in hopes that it would help with her heart valve dysfunction. It appears her condition is too far progressed and we will need to do a transfusion. T'Rama has a rare blood type, T-Negative. The only person with a matching blood set is Governor Sarek. With my calculations, there will not be sufficient time to–"

Amanda's eyes went wide and she interjected, "What do you mean 'not sufficient time?'"

The healer remained stoic, "The likelihood that she will survive this is at 10.356%"

Amanda held back a sob, "You are telling me she is dying?"

The healer paused, "You are correct. Lady T'Rama has requested your presence."

"Bring me to her. Now."

Amanda followed the healer back into the room where T'Rama was sitting on a bio bed that would now be her deathbed. Her physical appearance had drastically changed since she had last seen her. Her skin was pale green and her eyes were losing her sense of life. T'Rama slowly turned to look at Amanda who was rushing to her side, and grabbed her hand.

"T'Rama!"

"Daughter," she looked at the healer and said, "you may leave us."

"It's going to be okay, we will get Sarek here to get you the blood transfusion you need! You are going to survive this."

Amanda kept talking nervously at a fast speed, and T'Rama had to silence her with her hand on her face, "Daughter, you speak illogically. I am dying and do not have much time. I am at peace with my fate. I need to entrust something to you. It is of immeasurable value."

"Yes, anything you ask."

"I need to entrust you with my katra, I want to rest in the Hall of Ancient Thought on Mount Seleya with my ancestors. There is no other I trust my katra with more than you, my daughter."

Amanda did not fully understand, but she would do what was asked of her by T'Rama, "I will keep your katra safe at all cost. It will rest peacefully on Mount Seleya, I promise."

"My katra will be transferred to a vre'katra. You must only tell Sarek of this. He will know what to do."

"I will. How do I hold your katra?"

"You will keep it within you. I will be with you."

Amanda looked shocked, but nodded nonetheless, "I don't understand."

"You will soon, my daughter, but you must promise me one thing."

"Anything."

"Protect my son at all costs."

Amanda's eyes pooled with tears, "I will."

"You will always be my daughter."

T'Rama lifted her hand to Amanda's face and placed her fingers on the spots for a mind meld. Amanda knew what was happening at once and before she could reply T'Rama had begun the mind meld.

T'Rama was sharing a memory with her. It was a hazy flash of images. A young Vulcan baby maybe only a couple months old was cooing and laughing. Amanda could feel the pride T'Rama had for this little creature. She knew it was Sarek. The memory flashed past her as she saw Sarek as a toddler touching a hover cycle and his intrigued look. Then to another when T'Rama saw Sarek walking back from the Vulcan forge with hollowed cheeks and a determined look in his eyes after successfully completing his kahs-wan. Then the images morphed into when Sarek was a young man successfully graduating from the Vulcan Science Academy, more images flashed by in a moment that Amanda didn't understand, all mixed with potent emotions of pride and joy. Until she saw Sarek and herself getting married. The flash ended and then she felt a strange warmth enter into her chest. She felt a presence within her and then the vision ended. She was looking at T'Rama who's eyes barely held life in them. The hand dropped, and T'Rama's jaw slacked. Her last bit of life was gone as the signal on the bio bed started to beat loudly and Amanda was staring wide eyed at the lifeless body in front of her.

Healers were starting to rush in next to her and pushed her out of the way. She felt numb for a moment as a huge commotion of people swarmed around her. Her head felt strange, and then the weight of the moment hit her with full force as a searing pain hit her chest. T'Rama was dead!

She began to shake as Saya came to her side and all of a sudden T'Pau appeared. She didn't feel fully like herself. The room was spinning and she wanted to throw up. Saya took her from the room and Amanda couldn't process what she said to T'Pau but the woman was frowning and stopped following them.

Saya sat her down and put fingers to her face, in a quick mind meld. It jolted Amanda out of her trance.

"Lady Amanda, you must comm Governor Sarek. No one else must deliver this news."

Amanda started to bury her hands in her face and cry, "I-I-I can't."

"You must." Saya placed the comm in her hands.

Amanda held up the comm and waited for Sarek to answer but he did not pick up. Anxiety filled her. She dialed again, but he did not answer.

Saya grabbed the comm for a moment, "I will contact his secretary."

In a moment of hurried words the communication was over and the comm started to buzz again. Saya looked at Amanda in the eyes, "It is the Governor. You must tell him."

Amanda shook as she answered the comm, "S-S-Sarek! I'm so sorry."

"Amanda–" Sarek tried to interject but Amanda continued.

"I wasn't fast enough. It's all my fault."

"Amanda, what are you referring to?"

"T'Rama…is dead."

The line went dead, and Amanda practically threw the comm back at Saya. The next moments were blurry. Amanda felt a pounding headache and tears kept flowing as she shook with Saya right next to her. A beam of light entered the room and Amanda could see Sarek's form appearing in front of her. He was standing there looking like the vulnerable man of last night. Afraid. Tired. Broken. She could feel it in her chest. They locked eyes and could see the disbelief and hurt in them and couldn't bear to look and turned away from him and sobbed.

Author Notes:

I know there has been radio silence from me over the past year. The last couple months have been difficult for me. The pandemic has affected all of us in so many ways. I know for me I had to live in the epicenter of it last spring and that had its negative side effects on my own mental health. That being said, the topic and themes in this story are dark and heavy, so I needed to surround myself with positive things last year.

With the great support of friends, and an amazing therapist I feel happy and healed. I have been writing this chapter since my last update and had a hard time finishing it all these months. So here is an update 1 year later. I hope you enjoyed it and I hope you are all staying safe and healthy during this crazy time.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!