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Stifled Embers Part 1

Diet Mountain Dew by Lana Del Rey

Morning came and Isane woke with the brightening daylight. Unohana was long gone, always an early riser. Isane was disappointed Unohana didn't wake her as she wanted to see her captains face and hear her her awakening voice. She figured Unohana just wanted to let her rest.

Isane made Unohana's bed, checked the time, and returned to her quarters to prepare for the day. She ate porridge in silence as she made coffee. Then she drank the beverage, washed her face and brushed her teeth. She didn't shower as she had done so the night before so she got dressed. Standing before her mirror she adjusted her Shikahusho and put on her earrings - her new earrings - and smiled liking how they looked on her ears. Then she ran her fingers through her hair a couple times giving it a vague semblance of order and making sure her ears weren't covered.

Dressed and ready, she grabbed her medical kit and Zanpakuto and set off to relieve Lemura's shift as emergency surgeon on call at the ER.

Rukia had also woken early. She didn't bother to make her bed. She dined on three boiled eggs and left in a tremendous hurry for the Shinigami Academy where she was to give a class on mid-level kido.

Unohana was off in a meeting concerning the design of some diagnostic equipment the Research and Development Institute of the 12th Division was building for the Fourth. And Rangiku took the task of running errands for her captain so as to avoid the boredom of office work.

Each of their workdays was busy and each found relief in the afternoon when their workdays were over. Rukia went home while Isane, Unohana, and Rangiku each separately made their way to the Shinigami Women's Association meeting.

Rangiku arrived first of the three. She sat in her usual spot and greeted Nanao, Yachiru, and Nemu. Soon afterwards Kiyone, Sui Feng, Momo, and Tobiume arrived. Then Isane strode in.

With all core members but the Chairwoman and Rukia present, Nanao checked the schedule of topics for the evening and stood at her podium and spoke.

"Good evening. We usually commence the regularly scheduled meetings at this time but Chairwoman Unohana is scheduled to speak first so we will wait for a couple minutes for her arrival and commence the meeting then."

"Where's Rukia?" Rangiku asked Nanao. "She usually arrives pretty early."

"Rukia communicated to me that she won't be able to attend the meeting tonight. She said she'll be busy."

"Oh, alright." Rangiku said before turning to make small talk with the others as they waited.

Then in a couple minutes the door slid open and Unohana walked in, calm and graceful as ever. The room fell silent in attention. Rangiku noticed Isane's face brighten up.

"Good evening. Ladies, I'm sorry I'm late." Unohana said.

"Good evening." they all said.

Nanao stood and took her place at the podium and called the meeting into order, then gave the floor to Unohana.

Standing at the podium now Unohana began to speak.

"As you know, I usually fulfill my role as Supervising Chairwoman of the Shinigami Women's Association from a distance. However I requested time to speak this evening on some new developments and on our role going forward. Given the stability of peacetime, money has become available to reallocate away from defense spending and I have been able to direct some of those funds to our association."

Now everyone's face lit up with excitement.

"Our budget has thus been increased to 350,000 Kan." She continued.

"100,000 more!" Kiyone exclaimed.

"Yes." Unohana responded.

"And the Men's Association?" Momo inquired giggling.

"10,000 More." Nanao said completely deadpan.

They all laughed except Unohana, Nanao, and the ever serious Nemu. And Tobiume took a swat at Momo's arm for unnecessarily making fun of the Men's Association.

Unohana raised a hand and they all fell silent. Then she continued.

"Now, given the blessing of this funding I think we all should take it upon ourselves to have greater impact on Soul Society as a whole. We should resolve to…"

Unohana was giving a nice inspirational talk, but soon all that captured Rangiku's attention was Isane and Unohana's interaction. Isane sat staring at Unohana as she spoke. Her facial expression was more than that of mere excitement and attention. It was of admiration.

Yes, Unohana was flexing her skills as a rhetor, and yes she was a woman of legendary stature who Isane understandably would admire, but this look was different. It was new. It went beyond professional admiration. She saw a light in Isane's that she had never seen from the girl before. Furthermore as Rangiku watched Unohana, whose nonverbal expressions were far more subtle than Isane's, she saw that Unohana barely made eye contact with Isane. To Rangiku it looked as if she was going out of her way to ignore her beaming lieutenant.

Something was going on between the two of them Rangiku thought. And soon enough when Unohana finished speaking, gave a general goodbye to everyone, and Isane watched her leave with longing dreamy eyes, Rangiku was certain of it. The calm and shy girl who was usually not noticed was very noticeable to Rangiku right now. But the meeting ran on then and Isane went back to her usual manner. Rangiku elected to say nothing on the matter, deciding to merely observe how this would develop instead.

. . .

Meanwhile at the 13th Rukia was mentally preparing for her meeting with Byakuya. It was unscheduled, but she knew he was usually free at this hour.

She paced about her room thinking about what to say. How to put it. How to best avoid the answer she feared. Should she gradually approach the subject or should she be blunt about it? Should assume a submissive role, pleading for the freedom to pursue the one she loved? Or should she be more assertive in her request? Indeed the very fact that she was going to Byakuya to seek permission meant that she truly was in a submissive position. Though of largely her own doing, it was an understandable position to have. Especially given the circumstances of her induction into the family. And so out of gratitude, a sense of indebtedness, and tradition she submitted to him.

Out of pride and practicality however she chose the blunt and direct approach. She'd go and speak to Byakuya in her usual demeanor of humility and make her request directly with no dillydally. So she stood up strong. Ready for whatever awaited her. She walked toward her shelf and placed a hand on her Zanpakuto and said "Wish me luck." Then left for the Kuchiki mansion.

She was determined and hopeful as she walked. Thinking about her future course of action with Isane should she receive permission. Thinking of the potential glory of a relationship between the two of them. She blocked the possibility of a no from her mind and focused on positivity. But when she arrived on the grounds of the Kuchiki manor her apprehension returned.

Her heart raced as she walked through the quiet immaculate halls and neared Byakuya's office. And then, she was there. She raised her fist to knock then paused for a moment and took a deep breath, she was ready. She cocked her arm back then heard him say "Come in, Rukia." before she could knock on the closed door.

Unsettled again she opened the door, entered, and bowed.

"Good evening Nii-sama. I came to speak with you if I may." she said.

"What is troubling you?" he asked. Emotionless as ever with his stoic face.

"Nothing. It's, I… I came to seek your blessing."

He nodded to tell her to go on.

"I wish to pursue Isane Kotetsu romantically," she said fluidly and simply, her nervousness and discomfort very apparent.

He sat silently staring at her processing what he just heard. In that one brief sentence she had both declared her love for someone and came out to him. And her knees trembled as she awaited his response.

He shifted in his chair and sat up straighter.

"No. Do not raise this shameful matter again," he said. Just as calm as before.

The words hit her like a train. Her eyes widened and moisture began to collect in them. Her mouth opened involuntarily as if to say something but she closed it.

"Is there anything else you wish to discuss?" he asked breaking the silence.

"No. Thank you Nii sama," she said. Then she bowed again, turned, and left.

Byakuya sat at his desk unmoving, staring at the door. He never would have guessed that Rukia would fall for a girl. He never really thought about the existence of her sexuality for that matter which made sense considering that his sexuality died with his late wife.

Moreover, he knew that he had broken Rukia in that moment. He could tell that her love was genuine and that it had been developing over time. But he knew he couldn't allow the Kuchiki name to be stained once more. Already he had married a peasant girl, adopted her sister, and fought against her execution, even if he at first supported it and even if she was ultimately pardoned. Thrice he had called the Kuchiki name into question and gone against the wishes of the elders. He couldn't allow a fourth blow to the name.

The Kuchiki elders had long been wary of Rukia and the events surrounding her but this, this could stain their name forever. Especially if Rukia and Isane actually ended up together and were public with their sapphic companionship. And even if they weren't public, the quiet rumors and speculation would abound. He had to say no, he thought to himself. Right? Then he glanced at the portrait of his wife on his desk and returned to his calligraphy, which he soon abandoned as his mind was too distracted.

Rukia managed to keep it together as she walked home. She stood in her room now, silent and motionless. She didn't want to cry. She wouldn't. She was too strong for that. So she sniffled and took a deep breath to suppress her tears.

Sore no Shirayuki sensed her from within.

"What did he say?" she asked, half knowing what the response was given Rukia's aura of defeat.

"He said no." Rukia said.

"Let me out."

"Why?"

"So I can talk to you."

"There's nothing to say, he's right, I should have never let myself…"

"Dammit let me out."

"Ugh fine."

Rukia brought Sode no Shirayuki out of the sword. Yuki looked into her sad eyes for a moment then hugged her. Uncooperative, Rukia's arms hung loosely at her sides, but then she reminded herself that Yuki was just trying to help. So for Yuki's sake she returned the hug.

It did little for her, her heart was too set on defeat.

Yuki let her go and they sat on the bed beside each other.

"So, what are you going to do?" Yuki asked.

"Bury the feelings like I should have from the beginning," Rukia responded with blank eyes.

Yuki looked at her with eyes of sympathy, she knew that doing so would prove impossible, she knew it was a dumb idea, but she also knew that Rukia was in no mood to be reasoned with so she left the subject alone.

"Ok. Have you eaten?" Yuki asked, searching for something that would give Rukia comfort.

"No. I'm not that hungry." Rukia said.

"You should eat. I'll make you something."

"Ok." Rukia said with a warm smile, happy to have such a caring companion in her Zanpakuto.

So they got up from the bed. Yuki walked off to the kitchen and Rukia changed into a pair of shorts and a sweater then joined the spirit of her sword.

Already Yuki was moving about the kitchen gathering ingredients and preparing her work area. She had laid out a bowl of rice that was in the fridge, some bamboo leaves and some chicken as well a bunch of spices, a frying pan, and a steamer.

"Rice dumplings?" Rukia said with enlivened eyes.

"Mhm." Yuki responded before turning on the stove and starting to chop the onions.

But Rukia's smile faded in time and her attention moved away from the sight of Yuki gliding elegantly back and forth and the smell of her cooking. Her mind returned to her situation with Isane.

Deciding to bury it once and for all she summoned a hell butterfly.

Yuki noticed as the butterfly entered the room and landed on Rukia's outstretched finger.

Rukia spoke her message to the butterfly and sent it off.

Isane, I'm sorry to cancel on you but I will be busy this weekend so we won't be able to go out as planned. In fact work will have me pretty busy for a while so we won't be able to hang out much at all in the near future.

Your friend,

Rukia

"That's not true." Yuki said.

"I know. But how can I get over her if I don't distance myself from her." Rukia said simply.

Yuki, stood silent then walked over to Rukia and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. Then she returned to the cooking with her mood affected now too.

. . .