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Stifled Embers Part 2
Never Say Goodbye by Hayley Westerna
Like Rukia, Unohana had decided to avoid Isane to an extent. Unlike Rukia however, she didn't do it because she needed to get over Isane, but because she felt that Isane needed to get over her. Being a fairly mature woman, Unohana fully understood that a relationship between she and her lieutenant - a girl who despite Unohana's looks was young enough to be her granddaughter - was wholly inappropriate. At least to her. And furthermore she had the emotional control to suppress her feelings of attraction to Isane with ease.
Still given that she and Isane were partners in work and neighbors she knew she couldn't just ignore the girl completely, but she could certainly cease any intimate interaction with her to avoid further development of Isane's feelings. And so she treated the girl with direct but polite professionalism in all their interactions.
. . .
Rukia, not having as busy or demanding a life as Unohana, opted to distract her mind with Hollow hunting in her free time. She and Sode No Shirayuki would patrol the remote districts of Soul Society late into the night, killing what few hollows they could find. They had made plans to continue hunting in the human world during the weekend as there would probably be a higher number there. There was something about swinging a sword about that calmed her mind, and as such, Yuki was glad to help. But as time went by and Rukia fell into the routine of the hunt she found her mind slipping back to Isane and how she couldn't have her. Try as she might, she couldn't bury her feelings and put this behind her.
. . .
Isane quickly realized that both Unohana and Rukia were acting differently toward her. At first she had thought her captain was just busy and tired. But when every attempt to spend time alone with her in a capacity that did not have to do with work was met with rejection, she knew that something was amiss. And when every attempt she made to spend even the shortest amount of time with Rukia, even for just lunch or a coffee break, was also rejected, Rukia claiming again and again that she was busy, Isane felt that she was being truly avoided by the both of them.
Isane blamed herself for the way Unohana was acting towards her and she was clueless as to what she did wrong with Rukia. She figured she had been too forward with Unohana, that she should probably take it slower, and was surprised with herself over the fact that she was actively pursuing her captain at this point. But she still wanted to talk to someone about what was going on. So tonight, Friday night, she decided to turn to Kiyone for advice. She didn't intend to tell Kiyone about her situation with Unohana. She feared Kiyone would disapprove of her going after Unohana, which she admitted was a somewhat reckless thing to do. But she could totally tell Kiyone about Rukia since all that was between them was friendship, or so she thought. It didn't cross Isane's mind for a second that Rukia could possibly like her.
So she made her way to the 13th and ran into Ukitake who greeted her.
"Hello Miss Kotetsu." he said.
"Hello." she responded in a tone that revealed her mood.
"Why so down?" he asked.
"It's nothing I just have a lot on my mind." she said. "Is Kiyone in?"
"I think so. I haven't assigned her anything to do."
"Ok, thank you Captain Ukitake." she said with a bow then moved to leave.
But she hesitated for she thought to ask him about Rukia.
"Question Ukitake Taicho, have you seen Rukia lately? I've been trying to get in contact with her."
"Oh, barely." he responded. "When she finishes with work she goes off to hunt for hollows. She comes back late into the night if at all. I assume she's honing her skills or keeping herself sharp perhaps." he said while intently studying Isane's face.
"Oh. Ok. Thank you." Isane said. Though dedicated, Rukia wasn't one to turn towards something like that to fill her free time, she thought to herself. This further confirmed Isane's suspicion that Rukia was avoiding her and her in particular. Then she again excused herself from Ukitake.
He watched her intently as she walked away wondering what was up between Isane and Rukia and thinking to himself that the lives of the youth were entirely too dramatic and confusing.
Isane made her way to Kiyone's room and knocked the door. "Come in." she said. Then she entered to find her little sister reading.
"Are you busy?"
"No. What's up?" Kiyone said, snapping the book closed one handed without even marking where she had left off.
"I wanted to talk to you about something," Isane said as she took a seat at her sister's small dining table situated across from the lounge chair Kiyone was sitting in.
She let out a deep sigh.
"My, you look depressed." Kiyone said.
"I'm not. I'm just worried."
"About?"
"Rukia. I think she's mad at me."
"Oh, what did you do?"
"I don't know. We were just hanging out like usual then all of a sudden I feel like she's distancing herself from me."
"Well she's been out hunting hollows like she's trying to purge them from existence. I asked her about it and she said that she needed time alone to get something off her mind. Are you sure she's avoiding you specifically?"
"Oh yes. I've definitely seen her out with Renji once and another time with some people from your division. Maybe I'm just being self-centered. I've been a little stressed lately."
"Because of Rukia?"
"Yes."
"And?"
"That's it."
"C'mon."
"Seriously. You don't wanna know."
"Should I be worried?"
"No, I'm not in any danger."
"Is your heart in danger?" Kiyone asked perceptively.
"I… no?"
"Who do you like Isane?" Kiyone asked.
Isane paused.
"Seriously you'll judge me if I tell you." She said.
"Iiiiis it Hisagi?" Kiyone speculated.
"No. Not gonna happen. Stop that." Isane responded, annoyed at her sisters persistent shipping of her and Hisagi.
"Is it one of the lieutenants?" Kiyone asked.
"No."
"A captain?" Kiyone said.
Isane looked increasingly flustered.
"C'mon stop making me guess. It's not your captain right?"
And Isane looked into Kiyone's eyes with naught but despair in her eyes.
"Wait! No. Really? Oh my damn. Isane. You… fuck."
"What? Is it that bad?" Isane asked.
"Well yeah she's your superior and in any case this is Unohana were talking about."
"I know. I think I have a chance with her but I also feel like she's pushing me away a little too."
"What happened?"
"Well we cuddled a little and…"
"CUDDLED!" Kiyone interrupted.
"Yeah I had my arm around her and we were under a blanket together."
"Doing what?"
"We were watching the stars and waiting for a meteor."
"Ohh. Cute. She might like you too."
"We slept together that night too."
Kiyone's eyes went wide.
"Not like that." Isane said very much red in the face.
"She had a nightmare so I took care of her and then she invited me to stay the night so I stayed and we slept beside each other."
"Spoons?"
"Yeah."
"How tight."
"Quite." Isane said.
"Oh my god she definitely likes you too!" Kiyone said incredulously before pausing to think then continuing.
"But she might just feel guilty about it hence the distancing."
"Probably," Isane said, "I understand it."
"How long has this been going on?"
"I realized I liked her not too long ago but that's all we've done."
"Yeah. I dunno it's pretty risky but you might have a chance here."
"Wow Isane. Here I thought you weren't interested in love but now you're cuddling with Unohana and shit." Kiyone said teasingly.
Isane blushed but felt a sense of accomplishment.
"Don't push too hard though. Give Unohana some time and some space because this is definitely a bit inappropriate given your existing relationship. In fact if she keeps it up for a while I say play it safe and let it go. But if she reciprocates, I guess go for it."
"As for Rukia, I'd advise a bit of the same. She said she wants to be alone and you can't be absolutely sure she's avoiding you specifically, so leave alone her for a bit too. If it turns out it's just at you then I guess just tell her you didn't mean to do anything wrong and ask to talk."
"Alright. You give the best advice lil sis." Isane said with spirits improved.
Kiyone smiled. "Glad I could help," she said. "Do you wanna stay the night? We can play Go."
"Alright." Isane said, accepting the invitation.
And so Isane spent the night with Kiyone, playing Go, chatting, and straight chillin until it got late and they both went to sleep.
. . .
Meanwhile that night Byakuya was in his room, thinking on his conversation with Rukia. Thinking about whether he made the right call or not. Part of him felt he had made the wrong call and this part was taking hold in his mind. He found it somewhat hypocritical given the circumstances of his past relationship with Hisana. In his case he didn't so much as ask permission to pursue her. He just did it then announced his intentions to marry her to the Kuchiki elders. At least Rukia had the decency to ask.
Furthermore, the fact that Rukia's desires were of a homosexual nature did not actually bother him much, though he did find it unexpected. He just knew that the conservative elders would not approve of it. The question was, to what extent would they disapprove. He considered asking their permission, but he felt that doing so would be too demeaning and unbecoming of him. Then he realized how demeaning it must have felt for Rukia to go to him for permission for a matter so personal. He realized he had to make the decision to either allow or disallow Rukia's pursuit of love himself.
So there he sat, wondering into the night what he should too.
To be honest, the situation didn't require much thinking, but Byakuya being the man he was gave it this level of reflection.
. . .
The next morning Isane awoke, rested, refreshed, and rejuvenated. She was on her way out as Rukia was on her way in. Rukia had been out all night. She was sweaty, her hair was all messed up and she was injured. But she was fine and despite the pain and strain she felt good. She had decided to bathe and sleep a little before heading out to the human world for the day.
And then she ran into Isane. They stopped in their tracks when they saw each other and stared, not knowing what to say.
Rukia smiled a nervous smile and said "Hi."
"H-hi." Isane said, equally nervous given her assumptions and given the fact that she wasn't expecting to see Rukia at all for a while.
But then she noticed the cuts on Rukia's face and the state she was in and the mindset of a healer took over.
"Rukia you're hurt!" she said.
"It's pretty minor I can take care of…" but Isane was already upon Rukia and her gentle touch took her breath away.
Isane had gently turned Rukia's face to the side to better see the shallow but still bleeding cuts on her cheek. She then grabbed Rukia's hands and saw that they were burned, presumably by a hollow's cero, and hastily wrapped with tattered fabric in the field.
"Rukia, you're badly hurt. Come with me to the 4th and I'll take care of you." she said.
"No!" Rukia said a bit too firmly and pulled herself away. She was not lashing out at Isane at all, her tone was motivated more so toward herself for wanting Isane to take care of her. "I mean it's really ok, I've got it. It's not that bad."
But Isane noticed the harsh tone of Rukia's 'no' and recalled her suspicions from earlier. She thought Rukia was angry with her and with that her facial expression changed from one of concern and urgency to one of sadness.
"So you really don't want me around you." Isane said.
"No it's…." Rukia said.
"It's ok. I don't know what I did but I'm sorry. I'll give you your space." Isane said then turned to leave.
"No stop." Rukia said as she grabbed Isane's wrist and pulled the girl back to her.
"I'm not mad at you Isane." Rukia said with sincerity.
Isane felt relieved but still concerned since something was certainly bothering Rukia.
Feeling guilty for stressing Isane and for not taking her feelings into account thus far she said "You can heal me in my room, it's closer." to try and placate Isane's concerns.
This made Isane happy and she agreed.
They made their way to Rukia's quarters walking beside each other in uncomfortable silence. Rukia, for reasons already stated, and Isane because she was observing Rukia more intently then ever trying to figure out what was bothering her best friend.
They arrived at Rukia's and Isane spread her kit out on Rukia's bed.
"Thank you." Rukia said feeling the need to express her appreciation for Isane's care.
"It's my duty." Isane said. "And it's the least I could do for a friend." she said with a reassuring smile.
"Would you mind taking off your shikahusho?" Isane requested. "I can better treat your arms with it off."
"Sure." Rukia agreed a little nervously but calmer than before. She got up, undid her sash, and removed the tattered robe revealing a tight white tank top which was soaked through with sweat as well as a pair of thigh length spandex shorts. She had never been in this meager state of dress before Isane before and felt a bit embarrassed that her clothes were so tight and revealing, and that she was so sweaty and dirty.
Isane however wasn't bothered in the least. The smell of sweat was literally nothing compared to the various smells of death and sickness she encountered regularly at the Fourth and to Isane the sight of Rukia's body was impressive anyway. She wasn't attracted to it, but she did find the tone in Rukia's shoulders and legs, her slender waist, and the way she stood with her bandaged arms, and sweaty matted hair quite attractive.
After depositing the ruined robe in the garbage. Rukia returned to Isane and sat before her on the bed. Isane peeled the bandages off of Rukia's wounded arms, revealing the burns beneath. They were thankfully just first degree burns, but they were quite expansive and oozed with clear yellowish plasma.
"Is this the result of a cero?" Isane asked.
"Yes." Rukia said. "I blocked most of it with a quick barrier but it wasn't enough. Don't worry though, I killed the hollow so it was worth it."
Isane smirked, enjoying the casual manner with which Rukia said that.
"Why are you fighting hollows so much lately?" Isane asked.
"Well..." Rukia said then paused. "Just to train really."
"Oh. I see." Isane said knowing that Rukia was hiding something from her since she had told Kiyone something different.
"Right, so I have an ointment that I can put on it to keep it from blistering and prevent scarring." Isane said returning to the task at hand.
"Will it wash off if I take a bath cuz I really need one." Rukia asked with a bit of humor in her voice.
Isane giggled then confirmed that it would indeed wash off. "If you want, I can rewrap it then clean and treat it after you bathe." she offered.
"Alright." Rukia said. Touched that Isane was willing to put that much time into healing her.
"Would you like some tea or something to eat while I'm gone?" Rukia asked after Isane had quickly rewrapped her forearms.
"Tea is fine." Isane said. "Thank you."
Rukia brewed then served Isane tea at the table then excused herself to the bathroom.
Alone with her mind now, Rukia started to become tense as she disrobed. She pulled off her tank and her bra then noticed that she had a pretty big bruise where she had been kicked in the ribs. She touched the area. It felt sore but she could easily tell that no ribs were broken.
She pulled off her shorts and her underwear and the smell of a sweaty crotch slapped her in the face. Feeling sorry for making Isane endure such sweatiness, Rukia turned on the hot water and stepped into the cascading stream.
It felt good as it ran down her body, taking with it the dirt and grime. And it relaxed her as it pelted her shoulders and back with its hot droplets. At the same time the water burned a bit as it seeped through the bandages and washed the salt from her hair across the cuts on her face.
She closed her eyes and tilted her head back then ran her fingers though it to let the water trickle all the way down to the roots. Then Isane knocked the bathroom door and Rukia jumped.
"Hey Rukia, I forgot to mention, you should use cold water and if you can, try to keep your arms out of the stream."
"Alright." Rukia said as she lowered the temperature of the water to uncomfortably cold levels.
"The tea is great by the way." Isane said through the door.
"I'm glad you like it." She responded as she resumed bathing and reached for her body wash.
Outside the bathroom, Isane had returned to the table and reclasped the warm cup of tea. Alone with her mind as well she was wondering what was going on with Rukia, why Rukia had given her a different reason for her recent activities, and whether Rukia was even telling the truth when she said she wasn't mad at her in the first place.
Isane decided, given her sisters advice, that pushing the issue would not be a good idea and that she should leave it alone for now. But the relative calm and friendliness of her interaction with Rukia was reassuring. Rukia on the other hand was thinking about whether she was being rude and insufficiently conversational. She also felt a bit of panic as all the things she loved about Isane were being presented to her once again, undoing what little progress she had made in forgetting her love.
And then Rukia finished her shower. Her hair was washed and her pale pure skin, blemished now only by the burns, the bruise, and the scratches was clean again. She smelled really good too. She toweled off hastily then exited the bathroom wrapped in said towel. She stood at dresser now, Isane off behind her in the kitchen area, as she scanned the available clothes. She grabbed her underwear and a pair of shorts and wondered whether she should only wear a bra and ask Isane to treat the bruise on her side or just put on a shirt and leave it untreated as it wasn't that bad.
Part of her wanted to see Isane's face upon seeing her shirtless, so despite her better judgement she returned to the bathroom, put her articles of clothing on and returned to Isane, standing before her in loose blue shorts and a simple black bra.
"I'm ready." She said.
Damn was Rukia beautiful. She looked completely different like this. Wet hair slicked back and dripping slightly, exposed skin slightly rosy from the scrubbing of the loofa and the rubbing of the towel.
Isane had never seen Rukia so naked before. She checked the girl out briefly which Rukia guiltily enjoyed, then her eyes jumped to the bruise on her side.
"You're bruised too!" Isane said with urgency as she grabbed Rukia by the waist and pulled her closer. Rukia loved it, Isane grabbing her like that. And her eyes followed Isane's hands as they placed gentle pressure on the area examining it.
"Let's continue." she said as she got up and led Rukia to the bed again. "None of your ribs are broken and I can get rid of the bruise easily but first let me get those wet bandages off you. Your arms are by far the most urgent."
And so Isane set to work. She rolled up her sleeves and washed her hands in the bathroom, then filled a basin of water and grabbed a towel. Then she returned to Rukia and washed the area carefully. Rukia looked on as this master of medicine handled her expertly. She gently toweled the burn clean, apologizing for the stinging pain every so often.
Once both arms were clean Isane set to work preparing her ointment. She grabbed a series of small unlabeled bottles and began mixing them.
"What's that?" Rukia asked seeing only a series of multi colored potions in Isane's hands and half expecting an answer she wouldn't completely understand.
"These are just a series of solutions that I mix together to make an ointment specific to the type of wound I am dealing with. In your case, you have a burn which was caused by a cero. It is different from a burn from a coffee pot or a fire, or kido for example. So if I mix this solution appropriately, to combat the specific type of rieatsu left behind in your skin, and further tune it for the exact severity of your injury you'll heal better and quicker than if I used a general over the counter ointment."
Isane's answer wasn't all that confusing and the girl's expertise impressed Rukia. Wanting to converse more she asked another question.
"So you'll be using a different solution for the cuts and the bruise?"
"Yeah. This solution I'm mixing now isn't optimal for either of those of injuries." Isane said without taking her eyes off the task at hand. Rukia looking on, admiring.
Finished with her mixing Isane added a white powder to the bottle and turned the vial about as it thickened. Then she began applying the paste to Rukia's forearms.
"It's so soothing." Rukia said.
"Good." Isane responded. "I added a pain killer." she said picking up her head to smile at Rukia briefly and feeling happy that her efforts were making Rukia feel better.
Then she tightly wrapped Rukia's arms with fresh gauze and instructed Rukia to change the gauze every two days and to keep the area dry for at least 12 hours.
Then she set to work on Rukia's cheek as Rukia flexed her slightly restricted fingers about and wiggled her wrists.
The closeness of Isane's attentive face to hers as she examined her cheek was becoming too much for Rukia to handle. She felt the warmth radiated from Isane's face and the warm pulses of airfrom her nostrils. Then, thankfully, Isane's thumb slipped which pulled at the wound and caused it to sting, snapping Rukia's focus back to reality and away from the beauty of Isane's rosy lips, which were curled into a slight frown.
"Sorry!" Isane said as she noticed Rukia wince in pain.
"It's fine. You're gonna make it all feel better soon." Rukia said dreamily.
"Yup!" Isane said before mixing another ointment and then applying it yielding the same soothing results as before.
Finally, she set to work on Rukia's side. Touching, feeling, and applying pressure. Rukia noticed Isane's eyes move up from the bruise to gaze upon her boobs for a brief moment and she wondered if Isane could see her the indentation of her nipples through the fabric and whether her chest was to Isane's liking. She closed her eyes and dropped her head to try and calm her mind and zoned herself out. Nothing shook her focus not even the sound of Isane's voice.
"Rukia." Isane called again.
"Yes sorry."
"You ok? Your eyes were closed."
"Yes. I was just, daydreaming. What did you say?"
"I said I could probably just treat the bruise with kido. It'll be quick and simple."
"All right, whatever you decide." Rukia said.
"Ok." Isane said with a smile. Then she breathed a deep focusing breath, closed her eyes, and placed her palm on the area and began whispering incantations.
Rukia felt the energy flow from Isane's hands into her body and it tingled a little. Rukia could do kido too but nothing like this. Soon, when Isane finished the procedure and withdrew her hands, all that was left behind was a very red area but the bruise was completely gone, the flesh no longer tender or sensitive.
"That's it." Isane said announcing that she had finished. Then she prodded the area a bit with her fingertips and asked Rukia if it hurt anymore.
"No. It feels great. Thank you." Rukia said with gratitude and admiration in her voice.
"It was my pleasure." Isane said with a warm caring smile.
And there Rukia was, face to face with the girl she wanted to avoid. The girl who had just showered her with expert treatment and genuine emotional caring. And oh how beautiful she was with her big grey eyes and her heart shaped face. Isane was wearing the earrings she gave her and Rukia reached out and touched them. Isane noticed a strangely affectionate gaze in Rukia's eyes. Then Rukia's hand slid down to Isane's cheek in a manner that was entirely too intimate. Isane's smile faded and was replaced by a slightly confused expression.
And then Rukia kissed her.
Her eyes widened with shock then closed. And to her own and Rukia's surprise, she kissed back. Rukia's lips trembled with emotion under the pressure of Isane's lips and the kiss though marked by timidness was smooth and deep. It was Isane's first kiss. And then it was over.
The kiss broke and as the surge of oxytocin faded, they looked at each other wondering what the fuck they just did and why. Rukia was horrified. Isane was confused as all hell.
"I…" Rukia blurted.
"Why did…" Isane said.
A tear dropped from Rukia's eye.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. I just…" Rukia said.
Isane didn't feel that she needed an apology, she didn't feel offended or taken advantage of. Rather she finally understood what was going on.
"No. I see. This is why you were avoiding me. You, like me." Isane said, hitting Rukia with the truth that they both knew.
Rukia lowered her head in shame. "I'm sorry, you should probably leave now." She said fearful of the possibility of kissing Isane again if she stayed.
"Rukia." Isane said in protest as she placed a hand upon Rukia's to try to calm her down.
But Rukia snatched her hand away and said "No. Please. I can't bear to be around you. Forgive me."
Seeing that Rukia was clearly flustered Isane collected herself, grabbed her things, and made her way to the door.
She paused for a second and turned around. Rukia was standing at the edge of her bed looking ashamed.
"There's nothing to forgive." Isane said as another tear ran down Rukia's face. Then she left.
Rukia sat back down on her bed and felt regret. She first regretted her weakness, the fact that she had given into her desires to such an extent. And then she regretted taking advantage of Isane and kissing her like that without permission. But then she remembered that Isane had kissed back and oh how good it felt, not carnally, but emotionally. It gave her a deep satisfaction. Like finally taking a breath of air after being trapped underwater for a frightfully long period of time. It was more than Rukia would have ever expected. She learned so much about Isane in that one simple touch. It was a glimpse of a side of Isane Rukia had never seen, a side so tender, sweet, and giving. And she knew - though she didn't want to admit it - that she had to get that girl.
As Isane walked home she was thinking about the truth of the situation she was in. Here she was in a love triangle of sorts. Rukia liked her. But she liked Unohana, and Unohana seemed to have some kind of feelings for her yet was ignoring her. She wondered what she should do, how to proceed. She didn't have feelings for Rukia but she didn't want to hurt the girl either. Should she pursue Unohana in secret and just not tell Rukia about it? Could they have a relationship in secret, unknown to everyone? Could they have a relationship at all? How was she going to reject Rukia? And why did that kiss, her first, feel so good? Why was she so okay with it?
She arrived at home to find that Unohana was out and proceeded to spend the day trying to distract herself with things to do but always found her mind returning to the situation at hand.
. . .
Unohana had a short day at work but she stayed late in her office to write a column. When she finished, she walked home without any idea that Isane would give stress to her night. She arrived home and found her lieutenant sitting on the bench in the spot that she usually occupied. Isane stared out at the garden sitting, hugging her knees.
She was very obviously somewhat troubled. So Unohana sat beside her lieutenant to try and comfort her a little.
"Good evening Isane." She said.
"H-hello Taicho how are you." Isane said a little apprehensively as she assumed a more respectful seating position. She knew that if she stayed outside she'd probably see Unohana and perhaps interact with her a little which she wanted even though she knew Unohana probably wouldn't let it go too far. Still, Unohana had the ability to calm her soul and bring peace to her mind. And Isane was oh so joyful that in these few words they had exchanged, the coldish distancing she had felt over the past week was gone. Unohana looked casual, relaxed, and essentially back to normal.
"I'm good. Today was a beautiful day don't you think?" Unohana responded.
"It is." Isane agreed with a relaxed smile, soothed by Unohana's presence.
But Unohana knew that something else was on Isane's mind so she addressed it. "What's troubling you Isane."
"Nothing serious." she said. As she involuntarily ran her hand across her cheek, the cheek Rukia touched before she kissed her, reliving the moment in her mind, then swept her hair back. "I'm just figuring some things out."
"Well then." Unohana said as she touched Isane's face in the same spot inferring that there was something special about it. Isane's eyes went wide at the contact with Unohana's slightly cold fingertips but she tilted her head ever so slightly into Unohana's hand and smiled softly. The degree of enjoyment she displayed at her captain's affection reminded Unohana that she should pull back quickly. But first, she'd give a bit of advice.
"Don't stress too much over whatever is on your mind Isane. Too much stress will age a soul. And knowing you, I'm certain you'll soon figure it out." She said then got up to leave.
"Good night Isane. You should make your way inside before the air gets too cold."
"Taicho wait." Isane said hurriedly, not wanting Unohana to leave so soon. Then she blurted out the only thing on her mind.
"What do you do if someone you care about likes you but you don't like them back? What do you tell them to not break their heart?"
Now this was interesting to Unohana. Part of her wanted to get the fuck away from Isane, she had already gone too far with that touch, but the other part, the part that wanted Isane for herself, convinced her to stay. So she sat back down and she enjoyed seeing the relief that staying gave to Isane.
"Well, you just have to be honest with them in the kindest way possible Isane. Are you sure you don't like them back at all?" she said both giving advice and fishing for information.
"Yes. I'm sure. She's, they're really cool and sweet and amazing but, I like someone else." Isane responded divulging a bit too much.
"Oh, and who might that be?" Unohana said finding Isane's words a little funny. She was toying slightly with Isane.
"I can't say. It won't.. I don't even know if it's right." Isane said with heavy heart and an uncomfortable desperation in her eyes.
The degree to which her words affected Isane surprised her and now she felt bad. She decided that the most pragmatic thing to do now was be honest.
"I'm sorry I teased you Isane." she said.
"Taicho please you didn…"
"Shhh." Unohana said then continued. "I've known about Rukia's feelings for a while and I've been waiting for the day you'd find out about them. To be honest I think you two are highly compatible."
"But." Isane interrupted.
"But," Unohana continued. "I also know that you have some feelings for me."
Isane's face went red with embarrassment.
"How did you know?" Isane asked.
"From the way you look at me when you think I'm not looking, the things you say and the way you say them. I know you well Isane so it's easy to read between the lines." Unohana said with a warm smile.
"And while your feelings for me are beautiful and sweet, it goes without saying that we cannot…"
"No Taicho please, don't say that."
"But it's true Isane. Romantic involvement between a captain and their lieutenant is wholly inappropriate."
"Wait, so you like me too Taicho?"
Unohana thought about it for a moment. Reflected what her true feelings were then said "Yes, in a way."
"Then have me Taicho, I'm yours." Isane said, then leaned over and planted a deep desirous kiss onto her captains lips.
Goddam was this girl bold, and goddam did Unohana give into temptation for a moment. She reciprocated, squeezing Isane's arm with one hand and clutching her waist with the other. It was Unohana's first kiss in a long time and she loved it even though she knew it was so wrong. Their positioning, the way she had to tilt her head up to meet her lieutenant's mouth and the fact that it was her own lieutenant she was kissing gave her quite the rush. And the way Isane was holding her, with a hand on the side of her head. Her long fingers wrapping round the back of her neck and holding her in place, the other hand resting upon her shoulder.
Isane kissed Unohana with a modest hunger. Hunger for Unohana's affection. Hunger satisfied by the feel of Unohana's soft lips upon hers, moving with hers and returning the feeling she was pouring into it. Lost in this touch, and breathing in the sweet smell of her captain's hair blown toward her nostrils by the soft night wind Isane was in bliss.
To her this felt like a dream come true. To Unohana this was a rush of mixed emotion. It made her feel alive and young and excited yet simultaneously guilty and transgressive. Soon the guilt took over and she broke the kiss.
Inches away and gazing into each other's eyes, Isane wore a smile while Unohana wore a pink and barely visible blush.
"See taicho. No one saw. No one has to know." Isane whispered as she stroked her captain's cheek lovingly. Unohana placed her warm hand upon Isane's and kissed the soft skin of the girl's wrist.
"I'm sorry Isane but we mustn't do that again." she said as she removed Isane's hand from her cheek.
"Taicho, please." Isane said.
"It's true Isane. We can neither have a secret affair nor can we publicly be together, it would compromise our careers. And even if we could I'm too old for you, it wouldn't be appropriate."
"You're not old Taicho, you haven't aged a day since I met you." Isane said not wanting to accept the truth of the matter.
Unohana giggled softly then reached out to caress her face and run her thumb across Isane's pouting bottom lip. "You're so sweet Isane. And if it's any consolation you're also a great kisser."
Isane smiled. "You were my second kiss. I had my first this morning."
"With Rukia?"
"Yes. She just reached out and kissed me."
"And did you kiss back?"
"Yes." Isane said guiltily. Unohana frowned for a brief moment.
"See, you two do have some chemistry." Unohana said, slightly cringing on the inside but forcing herself to try and guide Isane toward some place of emotional satisfaction.
"I've never looked at her in that light before."
"You should take her out on a date then."
"I don't want to."
"Try." Unohana urged. "You don't want to break the girl's heart."
"You're breaking mine." Isane said.
Unohana paused for a moment.
"I'm sorry. But you know I have to. We can't be partners in work and in our personal lives."
"I know but," Isane said.
"Life is like that Isane. We can't always have what we want."
Isane nodded in reluctant agreement.
"Can we kiss one last time then?"
Unohana paused as she gazed into Isane's sad eyes then said "Ok."
Then she took off her Haori and laid it upon the bench. Isane followed suit removing her lieutenant's badge and laying it upon Unohana's Haori then she stepped toward her captain and gently grabbed her by the waist. She pulled Unohana toward her as her captain wrapped her arms around Isane's waist, enveloping each other in bodily warmth and affection.
Isane felt her captain's body through the fabric of her shikahusho. She squeezed slightly and felt Unohana's soft flesh and the tough sinewy muscle underneath. She sighed knowing that this was her last and only chance to touch Unohana in this way.
Unohana smiled as she looked up at her lieutenant's face.
"Kiss me." She said. "Kiss me one last time Isane."
Isane nodded then leaned down and brought their lips together again. They stood and kissed in the starlight. A slow, tender, emotional kiss. There was no tongue involved nor was there any desire to involve it. Their arms moved slowly about each other's body exploring and caressing and they poured every ounce of emotion and desire they had for each other into it.
Isane's lips began to tremble, just as Rukia's did earlier and tears began to run down her cheeks, wetting Unohana's face. Touched and sorrowful, Unohana held Isane tighter and kissed the girl deeply. Then a sympathetic tear of her own ran from one of her usually tough and calm eyes as well. It had been forever since she felt such a simple feeling this strongly.
This proved to be their last kiss and it was a kiss neither would ever forget. For obvious reasons they opted not to share a bed that night and each lied alone and awake in bed, separated only by a wall and by obligation to society.
Isane tried to cry herself to sleep, wishing that it didn't have to be this way. But she couldn't manage to find slumber. Unohana only stared blankly at the wall across from her bed with an arm on the spot Isane had laid upon a week before, hoping that she and Isane could move on from this smoothly.
But then her thoughts were interrupted by the soft sound of Isane opening her door and walking out into the night.
. . .