Hermione jolted awake the next morning, her breath coming in short pants. Her skin was slick with sweat, and she moaned as she could still feel the wet between her thighs. She rubbed her face trying to rid herself of the dream. Almost falling out of bed in her rush to get to the ensuite bathroom, she turned the tap on and jumped in without waiting for the water to warm. A small gasp escaped her mouth as the icy spray shocked her senses ensuring she was fully awake. But it didn't make Hermione feel any better; the image was still vividly clear in her mind as if from yesterday's memory. The water slowly began to warm and she made it a point to scrub every inch of herself, willing herself not to dwell on the disturbing dream for too long.
Yet it followed her right through breakfast; the slow drag of her fingertips across Ron's hard torso, coming around his freckled shoulder blades, gripping him, her moan as he told her he loved her while thrusting into her, again and again, her gasp as he flipped them, and then her on top, her eyes pressed closed in ecstasy, falling apart for him, and then opening them, wanting to look at him while coming undone — her heart skipping a beat, her pace faltering for a fraction of a second as Ron was gone, and in his place lay Draco Malfoy. Surrounded by the scent of bergamot, unable to stop their rhythm, unable to tear away from his piercing steel gaze, she came, her entire body paralysed with pleasure.
A hand on her arm startled her.
"Merlin," she huffed wiping up the water she'd spilled. "You scared me!"
Ignoring her, Malfoy demanded to know what had happened with McGonagall. "I was going to come by Gryffindor Tower last night but then I realized people who want to kill me live there so — what?"
Hermione blinked. "Your shirt," she said, the shock clear in her voice.
She watched as he slowly slid his bag off his shoulder and took the seat next to her. "What of it?"
"It's grey."
He half-laughed, half-scoffed. "Astute observation. 10 points to Gryffindor."
"It's nice," she said in a small voice.
"Really?" he asked, taking a sip from the goblet that appeared before him. "I don't think it suits me."
"It does. It matches your eyes."
He turned toward her, one eyebrow cocked, his eyes drifting over her body like a predator that's just noticed its prey. No one else was in earshot of them and she knew she'd made a mistake complimenting him. Trying to act nonchalant she made a flippant hand gesture, "I just mean it's a nice change from all the black."
The curve of his lips lifted to one side giving her a view of a perfect smirk. Hermione suddenly felt sick to see that smirk, to feel his eyes on her as they had been in her dream. "And it matches your stone-cold, Death Eater heart," she added in a cruel whisper.
His smile slipped, his jaw tensing. The grey in his eyes turned dark. For a few short minutes, they sat in silence. She looked around the Great Hall at the other students, avoiding his anger as he ate, his bites small and quiet.
"So how much trouble are we in?" he asked after a while, his voice deceivingly calm and quiet.
Without looking at him, she continued to play with her food and watch the other students. She'd been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't managed to take a bite yet. "We're not, it's fine. She just gave us a warning."
Malfoy's jaw tightened. "I'm sure she did," he quipped, in that cold, monotone voice. "Did she give you a cookie and some warm milk too?"
At that moment Blaise, Luna and Theo appeared, but Hermione was too busy feeling affronted for her to take notice of them.
"What's that supposed to mean?" she snarled, finally looking at him.
Malfoy bit his cheek and she watched as his eyes focused, his body turning rigid as if he were trying to concentrate. Hermione suspected what it was; him practising Occlumency.
"No, really," she barreled on trying to break his focus, "go on. Tell me.'"
He continued to ignore her.
She swung her leg over the seat to face him fully. "Oh come on," she taunted. "I bet you're just dying to spit it out."
"Well good morning lovebirds… trouble in paradise?" snickered Blaise.
Hermione felt her cheeks flare at the off-handed comment but her glare remained on Draco. "Are you angry we didn't get in more trouble? Is that it? Would you have preferred if we were both punished?"
"Punished," murmured Luna. "Why would you be punished?"
A horrible clang rang out in the breakfast hall as Malfoy abruptly tossed his fork down onto his plate and returned Hermione's glare. Ignoring Luna's question he bit out, "I'm just saying that you get special treatment, you always have."
"Oh please," she growled raising her voice. "Like you weren't professor Snape's pet. Can you say, polly wants a cracker?"
Malfoy scowled. "I'm not familiar with your stupid Muggle references, but Snape didn't play favourites. If I'd gotten caught sneaking out of the castle by a teacher alone, I'd be suspended."
"Suspended?" exclaimed Theo, his voice shrill enough to grab both their attention and a few others on their table. "This have something to do with why you two weren't in potions yesterday?"
Hermione could feel her body vibrate with anger, with something else, her chest rising and falling, Merlin she could kill him, she could… she took a calming breath and swung her leg back around to sit properly in her seat. Picking up her fork with the futile effort of eating, she looked up at the others addressing them for the first time. "We skipped class and went to Hogsmeade. McGonagall caught us and Draco's angry that we didn't get into more trouble because apparently I get 'special attention'", she gestured with air quotes.
Blaise's mouth fell open a little and Theo was looking at Malfoy, his eyes wild and livid.
"You wanker," he hissed. "I can't believe you'd risk going to Azkaban just so you could—" Hermione practically jumped in her seat, her hand going over her heart. Malfoy had hit the table with his fist, his grey eyes fixed on Nott with the promise of a threat.
Theo scoffed. "Whatever," he mumbled, "your funeral."
Suddenly Seamus was standing above Malfoy with Dean and Michael. Their argument hadn't gone unnoticed this morning by the rest of the students in the Great Hall and with a sinking realization, Hermione knew that the three Gryffindor lions had come looking for a fight. Seamus was just waiting for the perfect excuse to hit Malfoy.
Glaring at him, Seamus said, "Everything alright here, Mione?"
A growl escaped Malfoy's mouth as he made to stand. "Oh, for fu—!"
"Fine!" she cut in abruptly, grabbing hold of Malfoy's arm and yanking him back down. "We're fine." She slid her palm against his forearm and up onto his closed fist, rubbing calming circles along his knuckles. Looking at him pointedly she said, "Aren't we, Draco?"
She felt his hand unclench underneath hers. "Yeah," he bit out. "Fine."
But the three Gryffindor boys remained standing, reluctant to leave. She threw them a warning glare that seemed to work and they went back begrudgingly to sit at their table. Once they were well over at the other end of the hall, Malfoy snatched his hand away.
"Don't touch me," he snarled.
Hermione gulped, unable to hide the embarrassment and hurt of his reproach. She could feel the whole room watching her, especially those seated closest. And then just as rudely, Malfoy stood and left.
Hermione watched his retreating figure with her mouth agape. Glancing at the others, she let out a short huff.
"Well done, Granger," mocked Blaise sarcastically.
"Me?" she exclaimed in disbelief. "What did I do?"
She looked to Luna hoping that at least one person would take her side but Luna was making it a point not to look anywhere but at her food. Cursing underneath her breath, she picked up her bag and went after him, leaving her food untouched and her stomach grumbling. And dammit he had her looking like a whipped fool running to catch up with him.
"Draco, wait!" she shouted, running toward him as he stepped out into the courtyard. "Draco, stop – will you stop!" Yanking his arm back, she forced him to turn toward her. His eyes were a shining grey, almost baby blue. Disarmed by the sudden change, she found herself staring into them. It wasn't possible but she was certain they'd never been this color.
"What do you want?" he barked, pulling his arm back.
Hermione felt that same prickle of hurt. "What is wrong with you?" she panted. "Do you expect anyone to believe we like each other after the way you just behaved?"
"I'm not the one that started it."
"Okay, I'm sorry but, where did Mr. I-have-control-over-my-impulses-and-emotions go?"
Malfoy barred his teeth. "I guess even Occlumency can't suppress the urge I sometimes have to wring your neck."
She reeled back as if he'd hit her. Staring at him wide-eyed, she whispered. "This ruse isn't going to work if you can't control your temper."
Malfoy took a deep breath, concentrating on a spot beyond her shoulder. That's when she saw it, that was his tell. His pupils became a few shades darker when he was occluding. "I'm sorry," he said evenly. "I," his eyes pressed shut. "I'm finding it more difficult to compartmentalize these days."
Hermione pursed her lips, a stone forming in her throat. "So your hatred of me runs so deep that you need to occlude to be around me, is that it?"
His expression softened and she thought she saw a flash of guilt in his eyes. "It's complicated," he breathed. "I don't… hate you… besides, you're always looking for a fight."
Looking at her feet, she confessed, "I didn't sleep well last night and I took it out on you. I shouldn't have called you a cold-hearted Death Eater, I'm sorry. And I'm sorry about yesterday too. I should never have asked you to come with me to Hogsmeade. It was really selfish on my part. What Theo said about you going to Azkaban… I didn't even — it didn't register that — you didn't have to."
Draco slowly stepped into her. "Yes I did," he stated plainly, reaching out to tug playfully on a loose strand of hair.
Her brows furrowed, her question barely a whisper. "Why?"
He took the strand and tucked it behind her ear. She felt a shiver run through her. "Because," he sighed, "you'd just been crying and I didn't want you to be alone."
Her pulse dropped and so did her gaze, right to his lips. Her body was screaming at her to run but she felt hypnotized. They'd just been fighting hadn't they?
The door to the Great hall burst open breaking the spell. She pulled away from him as if he'd caught fire. She wanted to shake herself, or for someone to shake her awake from whatever this was.
"Stop," she rasped under her breath, "Don't act like that when we're alone."
"Like what?" he asked, his brows furrowed, a look of genuine confusion.
"All affectionate and caring." She licked her lips. "It's not necessary when people aren't around. It's inappropriate and…" Hermione tore her eyes away, looking anywhere but at him. "Just stop doing it okay?"
"Right," he said clearing his throat.
"Okay then," she blurted, trying to cover up the light blush of her cheeks. "Can we call a truce? We have to start organizing the Christmas Ball soon. How about this Sunday?"
"Erm," Malfoy cleared his throat again. "Sunday's no good. Can we start next week? Blaise is having a Halloween party in the Ravenclaw common room."
"But Halloween is on Friday. Why is he having a Halloween party two days after Halloween?"
"Because Sunday is his birthday so he always has this big two-in-one celebration."
"Oh."
"Best mate and all, so I have to go… therefore you have to go."
Hermione gave a little sigh. She really didn't enjoy parties and the idea of spending more time with Malfoy than was necessary scared her. "Why do I have to come?" she lamented.
"Because," he tried laughing, "it's the perfect place for you to display a ridiculous amount of attention on me. Also it would seem a bit weird for my girlfriend not to care enough to come to my best friend's birthday party. Especially since he came to yours."
Hemione shot him a glare. "He crashed my party."
Malfoy threw her a disarmingly charming smile. "Either way he cared enough to come."
"Great," she mumbled, not liking this idea at all. "But I'm not holding your hand. I'll just swoon and make puppy eyes at you. Happy?"
He gave a slow nod. "That sounds adequate."
She furrowed her eyebrows. "Why is it in the Ravenclaw common room?"
"Cho said he could use it."
"Are Blaise and her…"
He rolled his eyes, possibly in the most haughty way Hermione imagined someone could. "I can't keep up with who Blaise is with."
She let out a small laugh. "Witch of the month is she?"
"Maybe," he shrugged. A lot of students began pouring out of the Great Hall indicating it was time for their first class. "I better…"
"Yeah, I—" she turned in the other direction giving him a strange awkward wave. Merlin it had been so much easier to talk to him when they were enemies than whatever it was they were now.
"Hermione," he called out, "Start thinking of a costume."
She visibly winced making him smile before turning around again. A costume, she cringed, wasn't it bad enough that they were both already wearing their relationship as a disguise. What had she gotten herself into?
…
The rest of Hermione's day went by in relative peace; that is until her last class.
In a horrified whisper she demanded to know what he was doing.
"Sitting."
"That's Luna's seat," she said a little dumbly.
Malfoy wore a confused expression. "But Luna's sitting next to Theo."
Hermione's head whipped around and there was Luna, sitting as quietly as a country mouse next to Theodore Nott as if nothing were amiss.
Accusingly, she hissed under her breath. "What did you say to her?"
"Nothing," he huffed, gracefully attempting to sit down beside her again. This time Hermione allowed it. "Is Luna not allowed to have other friends?"
She gave him a prissy smile. "Of course, she is, just not ones that slither."
"Then you shouldn't have invited her to sit with us snakes," he retorted smartly.
"Well, I don't see why we always have to sit with your friends at the Slytherin table in the Great Hall. I wanted a familiar face around."
Malfoy smiled, smugly satisfied that he'd been able to rile her up. "Calm down, Granger. Merlin's beard we're not fighting again are we? Should I take out my wand, make it an official duel?"
With the same tight smile, she said, "We both know who'd win. I'd have you flat on your arse in seconds."
He raised an eyebrow. "I'd love to see you on top."
Pst!
"Oi love birds," whispered Theo from behind them. "Nice to see you two have made up but can you stop all your squawking?"
Luna hummed. "It is very distracting," she said dreamily. Then looking at Theo she tilted her head to the side murmuring. "Although it would be fun to be a bird and squawk."
"In a manner of speaking—"
Someone cleared their throat. They turned to face the front of the classroom and came face to face with Professor Sinistra.
Eyeing each of them she smiled and said, "If the four of you don't mind the intrusion, I'd like to start teaching astronomy." Her smile didn't reach her eyes and her voice held the tone of underlying sarcasm and disappointment.
Hermione pursed her lips. "Sorry Professor," she mumbled dutifully.
Beside her, she felt Malfoy shift uncomfortably in his chair but he said nothing. As soon as the teacher turned back around to the chalkboard Draco knocked Hermione's knee with his own. She glanced at him. His index finger was tapping a small piece of parchment on the desk. She took it subtly using her own index finger and slowly turned it over in her hand. A question appeared in black ink, disappearing almost as soon as Hermione had read it.
Are you always so acquiescent?
She glanced at him again, there was no quill in his hand. She was just wondering how on earth he was managing to do it when more writing appeared.
The paper is charmed.
Hermione subtly lifted her eyes to make sure Professor Sinistra wasn't watching them. The last thing she needed was to be sent to the Headmistress' office for the third time. When she looked back down the parchment was forming words again except the ink was blue.
I have a piece too.
And then again, this time in green.
Ditto.
It went back to black.
Theo is green, Luna is blue. My ink is black, obviously.
Hermione chanced a quick glance toward Luna and Theo sitting behind them. Sure enough, they both had small pieces of parchment too but no ink on their quills.
Think your response, don't write it, said Draco. You have to be holding the parchment when you do.
We shouldn't be talking in class, thought Hermione. She watched her parchment but nothing happened, she looked beside her and saw though that her words had appeared on Draco's.
Wow, this is kind of ingenious.
He threw her a smirk.
Thank you.
She rolled her eyes at his smugness.
Are you finally ready to admit that my intellect is far superior to yours?
She bit her cheek, knowing full well how to take him down a peg.
Sure. By the way, where do you keep your soft toy collection?
She pursed her lips, biting back a laugh as she watched Draco's face burn crimson.
They aren't toys, they're priceless collectable items!
Priceless to whom, mate? Interjected Theo. You've named them all.
I can see the headline now, Hermione said, 'Sole Malfoy Heir Sells Valuable Soft Toy Collection for Millions of Galleons'.
Luna barked a laugh covering her mouth quickly. Professor Sinistra turned throwing her a dirty look while the rest of them tried to stifle their own laughter.
"I'm sorry Professor," she spoke dreamily looking out toward the window. "I thought I saw a moon frog." Luna's comment seemed to baffle the teacher enough to leave her be without any further repercussions. Hermione peeked at Draco from the corner of her eye. There was a hint of a smile on his face despite his next words.
Think you're funny, do you? I'll have those elves heads for disclosing family affairs with you.
Then you'll definitely end up in Azkaban, said Theo. Unless of course, the Wizengamot is bribed by your 'cuddly-wuddleys'.
She couldn't help it, Hermione had to cover her face to keep from laughing. Draco knocked her knee getting her attention. Whispering under his breath, he said, "I'm going to Hogsmeade tomorrow. I have to buy Blaise a birthday gift. Come with me?"
Hermione was so taken aback by his casual invitation that she felt winded as if he'd just taken all the air out of the room. Was it that odd? Hadn't she asked him to come with her to Hogsmeade just yesterday? But it had felt different. A burst of rebellion, unplanned and impulsive. This was premeditated.
Green text appeared on both their parchment before Hermione had a chance to reply.
I'd love to come with you Draco.
I'm talking to Hermione.
But you're always with her. You never spend time with me anymore.
Luna interrupted. I thought you were hanging out with Daphne tomorrow, Theo.
Only under duress, my dear. The girl scares me.
Hermione gave Draco a sidelong glance. He was still wearing a hint of a smile and in this context, the lightness of how silly they were all being, he looked young and carefree… and beautiful. Undeniably beautiful.
Luna asked, What are you going to buy him, Draco?
I have no idea.
Shall we all chip in and buy him something grand? She suggested.
Theo replied. I know what he really wants and Hermione can get it.
Draco and Hermione both asked what that was at the same time.
A snitch signed by Viktor Krum.
Her eyebrows rose a little. She hadn't spoken to Viktor since summer but she didn't foresee a problem in asking.
I guess I could.
Luna added, I'm sure he'd be happy to do it for you, Hermione.
She licked her lips, looking at Draco. He was quiet, his gaze on Professor Sinistra.
Sure.
Then it's settled.
No one else said anything after that, including Draco. His piece of charmed paper was no longer in his hand.
She placed hers in her bag, effectively ending their group conversation. Hermione spent the rest of the class pretending that she was completely comfortable sitting next to the blonde-haired Slytherin. It wasn't as if he was doing anything, in particular, to make her feel uncomfortable but his proximity — the fact that his knee was close enough to nudge hers, the fact that his right knuckles accidentally brushed her left hand while writing — the fact that she couldn't stop stealing side glances at him — the whole thing worried her.
And she couldn't figure out why. What was it about them sitting next to each other in class writing notes to each other that bothered her so much? She always sat next to him in the Great Hall for meals so why was this different? It took her nearly till the end of class to realize what it was.
Luna.
Luna hadn't sat with her. Her friend had chosen to sit next to Nott instead of her and Hermione could only assume it was because Luna thought she'd want to sit next to Draco. When class was over, she caught hold of her friend.
"Hey," she asked pulling her away from the rush of students in the corridor. "How come you didn't sit next to me today? We always sit next to each other in Astronomy."
"But," Luna seemed caught off guard. "What do you mean? You and Draco always sit next to each other these days."
"Yeah," Hermione paused, a little surprised at the truth of that, "but not in class."
"I assumed you would want to."
"Why would you think that? Luna," she said lowering her voice, "you're the only person who knows the truth," other than Hagrid of course, "you know that we're not really together."
Luna licked her lips nervously her bright eyes avoiding Hermione's.
She abruptly grabbed Luna's arm, a little harder than she intended to. "What's going on?"
Tentatively the blonde-haired Ravenclaw lifted her lashes to regard her. "I don't want to get into this, okay?"
"Into what?"
"You have a crush," she sighed.
"On who?"
"Draco."
"Malfoy?"
Luna quirked her lips. "That's the one."
Hermione was genuinely baffled. "I hate him. He infuriates me. How can you think that?"
"Yeah," she sighed again. "I know, I've heard. You mention it… a lot."
"And that's somehow lead you to think I like him?"
Luna gave another exasperated sigh. "Okay well, you didn't seem to hate him in Astronomy today."
"That's play-acting for Theo's sake. I hate him, I do."
She made a flippant gesture with her hands. "What do you hate about him?"
"Everything."
"Name one thing."
"Easy," she replied without hesitation. "He's really annoying."
"That's vague."
Conceding she said, "Fine. He's arrogant."
"Go on…"
"He's…" she was suddenly drawing a blank although she knew there were so many reasons. "He's argumentative."
"That's not really a thing. I could argue that you're argumentative."
"Am not — oh I see your point. Fine, here's several. He almost got poor Buckbeak killed, he's called me a Mudblood more times than I can count, he watched his aunt torture me and did nothing!"
Luna's expression changed to one of pity. "Hermione, I don't think those things make you hate him anymore. I think they make you sad."
Her words were such a revelation to Hermione that she stopped walking beside her friend, her mouth agape. Luna slowly wrapped an arm around her shoulder urging her to keep walking.
"Would it be so bad not to hate Draco Malfoy?" her friend asked.
Hermione couldn't find it in her to respond but her thoughts screamed, yes. It would be devastating.
After lying in bed for what seemed like hours the next morning, Hermione decided to go find Draco and ask him if he still wanted to go to Hogsmeade. She skipped breakfast that Saturday morning, her stomach in knots thinking over how she'd broach the issue with him. As she entered their common room, her nerves got worse. Her presence in the Slytherin dormitories always gave her goosebumps but funnily enough she had an inkling it irked the Slytherins more than it did her.
"Hey Granger," smiled Theo. "What brings you down to our lovely neck of the woods? Wait let me guess," he said answering for her, "you're looking for Draco."
She shuffled her feet suddenly feeling very shy. "Is he here?"
"Yep," he said pointing to the stairs. "Go ahead, third door down."
"But the gender enchantment on the stairs—"
"Oh please Granger, I removed all those pesky cockblocks my fourth year." Theo winked.
She rolled her eyes but couldn't help smiling. It was strange how the more time she spent around the Slytherins, the funnier she found them. If she wasn't careful, she'd soon be a part of some hyena hunting party pack; the strong picking on the weak.
Hermione did as he said and found herself tentatively knocking on a large gold-inlaid mahogany door. Where did the extravagance end?
Draco answered.
Her mouth fell open. He stood at the door, shirtless, wearing only a pair of black silk boxers, his hair tousled from sleep. Hermione averted her eyes when she realized she was staring but it was too late, the cut lines of his abdomen were seared into her memory.
"I d-didn't," she shut her mouth regaining composure, "Theo said I could—"
"What's wrong?" he said clearly surprised by her presence.
Feigning nonchalance she said, "Nothing. I just thought you might still want to go to Hogsmeade. Y'know to get Blaise a gift."
"Erm," he ran a hand through his messy hair trying to rub away the sleep. "Kay, let me get ready." Then without any preamble he shut the door on her.
"Right, I'll just be waiting outside," she said to no one.
Just when she thought the knots in her stomach couldn't get any worse, the door opened again and he emerged with only an emerald-coloured towel wrapped around his waist. The fact that he was so fatalistically attractive wasn't helping the situation at all.
"You don't have to wait out here," he said casually walking toward what Hermione could only assume were the bathrooms, "you can sit on my bed."
She bit down the urge to flee and went inside. Part of her was curious as to what their dormitories looked like. Entering, her first reflection was that it was decorated similarly to theirs. Out of the four beds, three were made, the other was Draco's. He'd obviously just woken up; the black boxers he'd been wearing lay on the floor beside his head next to some other discarded clothes.
"Our Slytherin Prince isn't very tidy, is he?" she remarked to herself.
This close to where he slept, Hermione couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to share a bed with Draco Malfoy. The temptation was too strong. She lay down, the mattress foaming to her shape. She ran her hands over his bedding. It was the softest luxury she'd ever touched.
Then she noticed it beside his nightstand, a Tomes and Scrolls paper bag. Reaching in, she took out a heavy book. On the leather cover the embossed title read, The Rule of Law for Magical Creatures. It's my book. This was the book he had bought for her, she'd completely forgotten about it when McGonagall had caught them. It wasn't any of the ones she'd chosen though. She opened it to look at the table of contents; there was an entire section on house-elves.
Her heart fluttered a little at how thoughtful he'd been in picking this out for her. She was surprised she hadn't thought of it herself. If she was going to help elves, she'd have to start first by changing the laws that govern them. What better way to free a slave race?
She placed the book back in the paper bag excited at the prospect of going through it later. Taking a deep breath she felt herself relax a little. His bed smelled amazing. There was a scent of sorts, something soothing and a little feminine overpowering his usual cologne.
A bit like a bloodhound she followed the aroma with her nose. It was clearly coming from somewhere on his bed but she couldn't quite place it... She bent over and looked beneath the bedframe. There was something tucked away and whatever that lovely scent was, it was coming from it. She got onto her knees and lowered down to pull it out. It was documentation of some kind, and there were fresh sprigs of lavender stuck in between the leaves of parchment. She took one and held it to her nose.
A statis charm must have been placed on them because the fragrance was still very strong even though the season for lavender was over. Her attention moved to the bound sleeves of paper. It looked to be a contract of some sort. The Ministry logo pasted on the front caught her eye.
Her attention was drawn away from the documents when she heard the door opening. It was too late to put it back where she found it so she stood dumbly with it in her hand when Draco entered, thankfully this time, fully clothed.
"Right, I'm ready," he said. Then his eyes did a double-take of what she was holding.
"What's this?" she asked, trying to mask her tone of apprehension of being caught snooping.
"Nothing," he clipped, taking it from her hand. "Just papers and stuff."
She nodded once watching as he stuffed the document into his trunk. "From the Ministry?"
Without so much as blinking he said to her, "Yeah, it's from my probation officer." And she didn't know how she knew, but she knew with certainty that Draco Malfoy had just told her a big fat lie.
Hermione smiled, her curiosity peaked. "Mind if I keep a bit of lavender?"
He stole the sprig of lavender from her which she took to mean no, but then he gently tucked it into the breast pocket of her blouse.
"Now you can't say this isn't a date. Consider this, me giving you flowers."
She pursed her lips, her eyes narrowing. "An old flat sprig of lavender doesn't really qualify as flowers."
He shrugged his robes on. "That sprig of lavender will never lose its scent. My mother handpicked it from her very own personal garden. The concentration of magic in the soil on our estate allows them to grow all year round, even in winter. Imagine summer under a blanket of snow. That's what our garden looks like during Christmas."
Hermione had to admit that it sounded beautiful. A severe contrast to her memories of the place. "Are you going back home this year after the Ball?"
"It depends..." She wanted to ask him what it depended on but he had already changed the subject. "Come on, I have to leave McGonagall a note saying I've left to Hogsmeade and when I'll be back."
Her eyes widened. "Really?"
He sat on the edge of the bed to put his shoes on. "Yes. Really."
"Didn't realise they think you're a flight risk."
A dark chuckle escaped his lips.
She watched him stand up from the bed, his eyes giving her a once over. "There's something different about you," he hummed.
Her cheeks felt hot. Could he see right through her?
Draco's head did a little tilt. "Are you wearing makeup?"
Then she was sure he could see her blushing. "No." It was a lie of course, she was wearing makeup. She'd spent twenty minutes in front of the mirror, fidgeting with her hair, applying eyeliner and mascara wishing she had paid better attention to Ginny's tutorials on it.
His eyes squinted at her in suspicion.
"So I was thinking we can get lunch at the Three Broomsticks," said Hermione in a rush to distract him. "Then we can shop."
He suddenly looked guilty. "I can't really go there anymore."
"Why n — oh…" Because he'd imperiused Madam Rosmerta. Right.
An awkward silence filled the room.
"I was actually thinking we could go to the chess club. They have great food there and Monsieur Gérard knows me. He'll give us a good table."
Hermione sucked in a deep breath.
"Okay," she agreed, plastering on a fake smile. "Sure."
They'd decided not to take the secret passageway out of the castle since they were on thin ice with McGonagall. But the train ride to Hogsmeade had been strange. When they'd gone last time the train had been empty, and they practically had the village all to themselves. But this Saturday the streets were lined with people. And everywhere she went they looked and pointed.
"Everyone is staring, maybe we should go back."
"And give people the satisfaction of having chased us away – no."
"Us?" he gave her a smirk. "They'd lay down the red carpet for you. It's me they're glaring at."
"Just ignore them," she said emphatically wrapping her arms around her and shivering.
"Here," he said taking off his scarf. "You need it more than I do."
Before she could protest he'd wrapped it around her neck, the soft material and the scent of him warming her. The right thing to do would be to rip it off and hand it back to him but instead, she thanked him and they continued walking.
It wasn't long before they were standing in front of Monsieur Gérard once again.
'Monsieur Malfoy," he sang with a flourish. "Content de te revoir. I see you've brought your lady friend encore." He tutted.
Draco pursed his lips apologetically. Then suddenly he was spewing out French as if he were a native. The waiter let out a light laugh and Hermione looked on between the two men feeling entirely inadequate as they continued to speak.
"He's getting a table ready for us," said Draco when the waiter left.
Hermione looked up at him, her knees a little weak. "I didn't know you spoke French."
Draco didn't respond because Monsieur Gérard was already walking back toward them.
The fluent French banter between them began again.
"Come," he suddenly said to Hermione in English this time. "I'll show you to your table."
They dutifully followed, passing the large living room with all the chess boards Hermione had been in the last time. This room was smaller but had large French windows that were opened wide so that the room spilled out into a small rose garden. He seated them at a table near the windows. There were two old men seated at a table near the entrance of the room but other than a quick appraisal, the wizards paid them no attention.
"This is nice," she smiled picking up the menu. She paled when she saw the price of the dishes.
Clearing her throat she whispered, "We'll have to go somewhere else, I can't afford a single thing on this menu."
Draco merely glanced up and replied, "I'm thinking of having the Coq au vin."
"Did you hear what I said?" she said leaning forward. "It's too expensive."
Still looking at the menu he mumbled, "Just order whatever you like, it's on me."
Hermione pursed her lips. A waiter walked in carrying two dishes that smelled just heavenly. "Bon appétit!" he smiled placing the plates in front of the wizards.
She looked on with jealousy as they dug into their meals with satisfied smiles on their faces.
Sighing mournfully she turned back to look at Draco.
"You'll love the chocolate soufflé," he said eyeing her over the menu. "It's the best thing I've ever had in my mouth."
Frowning, she tsked. "Fine. Pay. But this still isn't a date."
He smiled and it reached his eyes. "Whatever you say."
…
With a sleepy smile, Hermione sat back in her chair. "That was probably the best meal I've ever had… ever."
Draco winced. "You have chocolate all over your face."
She gave a soft laugh. "Do not."
"You do," he smiled reaching over the table to wipe the corner of her lips with his thumb. The laughter died at his touch. She stood abruptly pulling away from him. "I should really wash it off then," she said flustered.
He sat back in his chair and pointed the way to the bathroom.
Her heart rate slowed somewhat when he was out of sight. Standing in front of the bathroom mirror she noticed that there wasn't any chocolate on her face. She wondered for a moment if it's because he'd manage to wipe it off or if he'd been lying… using it as an excuse to touch her. A shiver ran down her spine when she considered that maybe he was as confused as she was, that he was starting to see her… differently.
Her pulse jumped again and she kicked herself for it. Merlin, hadn't she been the one to say she'd never give him anything beyond this fake relationship.
In her defence, everything was working against her. The food, the atmosphere, the fact that he had the ability to render her speechless when he spoke French and — as he humbly put it — a bit of Japanese, was doing little to help her focus. She'd asked him to Hogsmeade for a reason, she wasn't going to chicken out. She was an adult, she could have this conversation with him. They were friends now — sort of — or friend-adjacent.
And friends found friends attractive all the time. It didn't mean anything. He was attractive, she admitted. Possibly the most attractive wizard at school… potentially the most gorgeous wizard she'd ever laid eyes on. Matter-of-factly speaking of course. It's not as if she was fantasizing about…
Her breath left her body.
She couldn't, she told herself.
He's a Death Eater. Former. But still. She can't. She can't, she can't, she can't. She can't have sex with —
Hermione gasped.
"Sorry Madame, I didn't mean to frighten you." The wizard looked worried. "Are you quite alright?"
She put her hand to her chest. "Oh no, I'm sorry. I just got startled is all."
He smiled a little uncertainly as he passed her and went into one of the bathroom stalls. She cringed at how stupid she must've seemed.
Without a moment's hesitation, she went back to the table. Draco was already standing up and placing some coins on the table. He moved toward her, meeting her halfway.
"Come on," he said guiding her by the arm. "Help me pick out Blaise's gift."
"What, you mean from here?" she said in disbelief. "I don't exactly think this place has a gift shop."
"Not exactly," he drawled.
When he opened the doors to the private library he had shown her the first time she was here, she wondered if he meant to buy Blaise a book. But then he opened a small door that was on the side of one of the bookcases.
"I didn't notice that there before," she murmured.
He grinned. "You were too busy ogling all the books."
Before she could quip back, he'd pulled her inside. The room was filled with large square glasses cases and locked behind each case was a chessboard.
"Oh you're going to buy him a chessboard," she said a little redundantly, watching how he carefully eyed every single one. "I didn't know Blaise liked chess."
"He doesn't. In fact, I'm fairly certain he doesn't know how to play."
She folded her arms putting her weight on one leg. "Then why spend so much money on a gift he won't be able to enjoy?"
Draco smirked. "Because I'll enjoy subtly pointing out that I'm brilliant at something he knows nothing of."
Hermione rolled her eyes. "And here I was thinking you were friends. Slytherins," she muttered under her breath.
"We are friends."
"Then buy him something he will actually like," she snapped. "It doesn't need to cost a fortune, just pick something sentimental… sweet."
Draco turned away from the glass case holding a large board with ivory chess pieces. "For my 15th birthday, Blaise bought me a rare magical artefact. An original tablet of some of the very first runes."
Hermione's eyes widened. "That's incredible."
"Here's the catch. He knew I sucked at translating runes. He bought me something he knew I couldn't read. So what did I do? I studied, and I studied, and since then I've made it a point to always get an Outstanding in Ancient Runes."
"What's your point?" she sighed.
"My point is that if he hadn't bought me that stupid gift I would've probably failed Ancient Runes. Birthdays between Slytherins aren't for warm fuzzies and sentimentality, they're for building each other up. I get him this chess set and within a week he'll know the rules, in a month the strategies… I give it a year till he can best me."
"How can you be so sure he'll care enough to make the effort?"
"Because he's a Slytherin, he won't miss an opportunity to prove himself, especially if it also means beating me at something."
Hermione carefully weighed Draco's words, considering the strange way friendships worked between Slytherins.
Coming to stand beside him, she asked, "And is that how he got you to take the bait with me? He preyed on your unhealthy, competitive need to prove your superiority."
Draco looked at her. "He preyed on my weakness. My pride."
"Or maybe he was trying to do you a favour."
He scoffed turning back to look at the chessboards. "Hardly."
"Maybe he didn't choose me because he wanted you to lose, maybe he choose me because he knew you'd try to win."
"What the bloody hell are you on about?"
She licked her lips, nervously. "Is it so horrible a notion to think that I'd be a good match for the great Draco Malfoy?"
"He wasn't trying to set us up."
"He tried to make me kiss you."
"To interfere with the bet."
"Or simply so I would kiss you."
He was quiet, almost contemplative… "Maybe," he finally said. "Maybe he thought it would help my case."
Hermione conceded that it could've been that too, some clever ruse to make him look sympathetic to Muggle-borns.
"So are you still getting Blaise that signed snitch?"
She blinked. "What — oh, right. I wrote to Viktor yesterday, I'm sure he won't mind."
He stepped into her. "You two are on a first-name basis."
"Obviously, we're friends."
He cocked his head. "Obviously."
"Are you… jealous?"
Draco scoffed. "Jealous — of him?"
"Jealous of the Bulgarian Quidditch star?" she said putting her finger to her lips. "Well let's see, he's handsome, athletic, rich, famous —"
"I'm worried about how it looks is all. You writing to an ex-boyfriend."
"He was barely my boyfriend."
"He was something."
"And what are we?" she asked quietly. "Are we… in love yet?"
Draco crossed his arms over his chest, looking to the floor. "I think it may be too soon," he said almost mechanically. "Shouldn't there be more of a progression?"
"I wouldn't know, I've never been in love before."
His head shot up, clearly surprised by her confession. "I assumed you and Weasley."
"I love Ron, I always have… but I'm starting to understand that there's a difference. Different kinds of love..."
Their eyes met.
"What would those differences be?"
She didn't know the answer to that question so instead, she posed her own. "Are you hiding something from me?"
"I hide a lot of things from you, Hermione."
Fully expecting he'd lie to her again, she was startled that he'd admitted it instead. "Like what?"
Her answer was met with a silent stare.
"What are we really doing here?" he asked. "Clearly you have an ulterior motive for this little outing."
"I…" she took a step back from him, needing space to get this out. "Wanted to talk to you about the past. Our history. Luna said something that I think…" Hermione took another deep breath feeling like she was getting this all wrong. "She says it makes me sad. You make me sad."
Draco's brows furrowed. "That's ridiculous. I make you angry maybe but—"
"No, she's right. It pains me to admit it but… it hurt. Immensely. The way you just stood there watching… the things you've said, the names you've called me. I'm not over it."
He scoffed but it came out almost as a choke. Draco was looking around at the walls as if realizing he was trapped. "You still blame me."
"No," she muttered, the sarcasm thick in her voice as she replayed his own words, "I blame me. It was my fault, right? I mean who the hell is stupid enough to get caught by snatchers?"
Draco visibly gulped. "What would you have me say? 'I'm sorry?' I won't. I won't apologise. It wouldn't mean much to you anyway."
Hermione almost flinched as she remembered saying as much to Luna. Taking a deep breath, she let out a trembling exhale, "Then I guess I'll never forgive you." Blinking she suppressed the tears gathering in the corner of her eyes and made for the door.
"Wait!" he called out making her stop in her tracks. She turned her head looking over her shoulder. It wasn't too late to still leave. She could turn the handle and walk away from him. Besides running away from him had become her natural reflex of late. But then he said, "Anything else."
"What?" she said, not quite understanding, still facing the door.
His voice was soft, almost pleading. "Ask me for anything else."
She turned. His eyes glistened in the candlelight and she had the uncomfortable notion that if she wanted to, she could make him cry. His jaw clenched and she caught the infinitesimal contraction of his pupils.
"Ask me for anything else but please don't ask me to apologize to you… because if I say I'm sorry then that means… then it means it really was my fault, and I can barely live with myself as it is."
Hermione gulped. "My intention isn't to blame you."
"Then what is your intention?" He snapped angrily, stepping toward her. "To make me feel awful?" He took another and another till he'd reached her. "I already go through most of the day feeling like a complete waste of space so…"
Hermione pressed her back against the wooden door, his sudden proximity to her dizzying. "My intention," she yelled back, "is to let you know that you have the capacity to hurt me!" She clamped her mouth shut wishing it hadn't come out like that. "And," she added quietly. "You're not a waste of space, Draco."
His eyes danced over her face and she desperately wanted to know what he was thinking.
"Tell that to Collin Creevey," he rasped.
She wished suddenly that she had something to hold onto. Her fingers curled into fists instead willing her heartbeat to slow. He was talking about Collin again. Something had happened. What was it he had said to her those months ago in the library?
I didn't kill Collin Creevey.
"Did something happen, Draco?"
He shook his head.
"I'm guessing this would be one of those things you hide from me." Her nails dug into the flesh of her palm as she raised her lashes to look at him. "But I can keep a secret."
He took a deep breath, considering her words. She gave him the final reassurance he needed.
Gently she reminded him, "I've trusted you with mine, haven't I?"
He bowed his head for a moment. Then he looked back up at her. A single tear ran down his face, his eyes crystal blue. "Something did happen. He was killed. I saw it."
"You saw?"
"The castle was fucking chaos; charms and curses bouncing off walls. I wasn't in my robes, I looked like any other student—"
"I remember." Draco in the midst of flames, the burning scent of ash.
"It was before that, before the Room of Requirement," he said reading her mind. Death Eaters didn't care to distinguish foe from friend. One of them took a shot at me. That stupid kid jumped in front of me."
The tips of her fingers slowly touched her mouth, her bottom lip beginning to tremble.
"There was nothing I could do. He was dead before he hit the ground."
She pressed her eyes closed releasing a pained exhale.
"As I said, I'm a waste of space. That kid died for nothing."
Her eyes flew open, her voice coarse with reliving Collin's death. "He died protecting you, so don't you dare say he died for nothing."
Draco clenched his jaw, his eyes glistening, threatening to spill more tears. Something dawned on Hermione then.
"You haven't even told his family, have you?"
He shook his head. "I haven't told anyone."
"You should tell Dennis what his brother did for you."
"Why?" he growled defensively. "So I can be hated even more than I already am?"
"It isn't about you. It's about honouring his memory. He died bravely. He saved your life. His family should know that."
"I wasn't worth saving."
She reached out to take his hand but he snatched it away unwilling to accept any comfort.
"I'm not like you. I don't know how to do the right thing. I'm not even sure I can tell the difference."
She slowly unfurled his scarf from around her neck and stood on her toes wrapping it securely around, tying a knot. "Sure you can," she said placing her hands on his chest. Then before she could overthink it, she hugged him. A slow gradual embrace that turned his body rigid. But a moment later she felt him melt, his arms slowly returning it. And her heart ached for him. She finally felt like she was seeing the boy behind the mask. Someone she could one day be friends with.
His arms circled a little tighter and his face bent into the crook of her neck. It was when she could feel his warm breath fanning her skin did she admit to herself that she could never be friends with Draco Malfoy.
Not when she wanted to give more to dull his ache. Not when her mind imagined her offering her lips, her body. Not when she herself had this ache. Her fingers dug into the fabric of his sweater.
The truth of Luna's words hit her with full force.
You have a crush.
Draco released her, slipping away. They looked at each other a little awkwardly. He lifted his hand, his thumb wiping a tear from her cheek. She hadn't known she'd shed any. The gesture was warm and gentle. "I guess I do make you sad."
She covered his hand with hers, and their entwined hands fell to their side. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she was sure he could hear it in the quiet echo of the room. A quiet confession escaped her. "Not always…"
Draco visibly gulped. "I think," he murmured, stepping away. "I know which chess set I want." Then without waiting for her, he wrenched open the library door and walked out. All she could do was stare at the open doorway. She understood with clarity that this was the closest he would ever come to apologizing to her, and strangely, it was enough.
Hermione sighed pressing the side of her face into the pillow. After leaving the Chess Club, Draco had made an excuse and brushed her off. It was typical of a man really. They'd been intimate. He had worn his heart on his sleeve in front of her. Naturally, he'd run from her. But that wasn't what was keeping Hermione up in the pitch black of night. It was the scent of his stupid scarf, it was the low ride of his towel on his hips. It was his dark emerald sheets. It was the feeling of his hard warm body pasted against hers, telling her his secrets. The intimacy of his whispered words…
Try as she might she couldn't get the image of him out of her mind, in fact, it was fueling a desire, a need to shatter. She rubbed her thighs together biting her lip. Her fingers crept under her knickers. Her cheeks burned when she realized they were soaked. Pursing her lips she fought the urge to rub, to create the friction she so badly craved. Her fingers wound their way into her hair pulling at her scalp in frustration. She wrapped her legs around her pillow tighter pressing her eyes shut, telling herself to go to sleep.
It only made her see him again. In the grey sweater this time.
It matches your eyes.
She groaned at the memory, at how pathetic it had sounded.
A little voice inside her told her to go ahead. Give in. Just don't think of him.
So she did.
It was such a relief to delve into her wet folds and escape in herself. To think of nothing but the pleasure she was getting from her own body. And she tried. She did. She tried conjuring up someone... anyone… but it was Draco she kept seeing. She saw his smirk, she watched him lick his lips. She heard his laugh, the sinews of his body. And it was the strangest thing that had her falling over the edge. She simply kept replaying him tuck away a strand of her hair, the slightest touch against the back of her ear.
A low stretched moan escaped her as she came, her body convulsing wave after wave. As she regained her breath she vaguely recalled the vile words he'd whispered in her ear so many nights ago.
I hope that was as good for you as it was for me, Hermione.