Chapter 7: Dad Jokes

Rating: T For Language

Disclaimer: I do not own Fire Emblem: Awakening and the storyline or characters.

Hello again everyone! I wanted to upload this before I return to school tomorrow. D: Hope everyone has a wonderful school year!

Our next request is by Ace, thank you for waiting patiently! Oh and you don't have to apologize! This prompt was really fun to write! I'll admit it was a little difficult for me because in real life I'm a super serious person haha.

Frederick telling several really bad dad jokes to Morgan and his friends and Robin can be heard laughing from miles away because she's the one who dared him to do it.

"Hey father, is it ok if Yarne and Owain hang out at our house later?"

"I don't see why not; Did you get your mother's approval?"

"She said it was fine and she's been trying to find you. I think she wants to ask you a favor again; she's got that glint in her eyes. I'm going to go study! See you later!"

As Morgan departed in a hurry, Robin barged into his office. She strode confidently with a smile that brought trouble and a savage glint in her eyes. Frederick the Wary inwardly cringed.

Whenever his beloved wife creates a crazy idea, she always sought out Frederick to make it happen. There was no stopping his beloved tactician whenever she gets that look in her eyes. It was one of passion, urgency, and with a tad bit of insanity. He wondered what it would be this time.

"…Do you need something love?"

With great urgency, Robin hustled over to her husband's desk where he sat and unexpectedly slammed her hands on his desk- making all of his paper work slip off and crash down to the floor. The knight raised an eyebrow in annoyance.

"Frederick, when Morgan's friends come over, I want-no, I DEMAND you to embarrass him by making dad jokes!"

"…Why would I want to do that?"

At that particular question, Robin's demeanor changed- She immediately took her hands off the desk and straightened her back. Her eyes never changed, but her face took on a serious expression.

"Morgan has been acting…disrespectful lately…I'm starting to think that his friends are starting to rub off on him."

At this information, the knight immediately displayed concern.

"..How so Robin?"

"Well, he started cussing unnecessarily to and around people in public and it was really disrespectful...people have been complaining it to me all day and when I confronted him he actually talked back to me and then brushed me off. We need to discipline him!"

While listening to his wife's story, Frederick's face changed from annoyance to exasperation. His eyes grew dark with disapproval. His face grew taut as a scowl was slowly etched into his face. By the end the story, he wore a chilling smile that was usually reserved for his hardest training drills.

"So, our son is on a rebellious streak? No problem, Robin…I accept your dare of Dad jokes. My body is ready! Now if you'll excuse me…"

As Frederick stormed out of the room, Robin couldn't help to smirk.

"This should be entertaining…."

Later that day, Yarne and Owain did arrive accordingly. Currently at the moment everyone was helping to prepare dinner when Frederick cut himself as he was slicing cheese. With Robin observing close by, Frederick decided it was time for an immediate course of action.

"Father! What happened to your finger? It's bleeding!"

With the most serious face he can muster, Frederick replied, "...I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think I have grater problems!"

"…uh…"

Robin snorted and giggled quietly while Yarne and Owain simply just stood there, flabbergasted. Morgan had just simply thought it wise to ignore his father's comment entirely.

"..Can you please pass me the baby shrimp and seahorses? I can clean them for boiling..."

Frederick smirked and countered without missing a beat, "Why do shrimps never give to charity? Because their shellfish! And don't forget Morgan; Since they're baby seahorses, make sure to boil the water at perfect womb temperature!"

Robin could barely stifle her giggles when she observed that Morgan's face had flushed with embarrassment. To her left she heard Yarne and Owain's smothered snickers and chuckles.

This was simply too easy.

"..Thank you for the dinner everyone. It was exquisite! Now for the final course of the day: a beautiful Carrot Cake! Baked by my beloved wife herself!"

At the sight of the cake that Robin happily carried in, Yarne and Owain simply stared in awe.

"It looks delicious Mother! Its beauty and glamour is equivalent to a wedding cake!"

At that moment, Frederick and Morgan's eyes met. Morgan's faced quickly drained of color and his smile faded away while the knight slowly smirked.

Morgan had simply walked into this trap.

"Why Morgan, how nice of you to say that! I'm so sorry that you couldn't be at the wedding! You know since you weren't born yet and all! Our wedding was so beautiful, even the cake was in tiers!"

It was eerily quiet for five seconds until Robin, Yarne, and Owain started laughing heartily from their sides of the table. Morgan had finally caught on about what's happening and for the umpteenth time that day, his face flushed a scarlet red. The young boy then decided to flee the dinner table.

"Um, I'm actually really full! Dinner was so satisfying that I don't have any room for desert! I'll be in the study if you need me-"

*BAM!*

At that precise moment, Morgan stood up so quickly that he slammed his knees hard against the table. Everyone blinked in surprise when they saw the young boy tumble down to the ground in seconds, holding both his knees.

With a strangled cry, Morgan wailed out, "Oh motherFUCKER!"

Frederick leaned over the table and peered down at Morgan. As the boy looked up, he was absolutely frightened when he saw the most chilling and terrifying smile etched into his father's face.

"…You called?"

Robin, Yarne, and Owain immediately choked on their cake.

Later that night, the family had a discussion about Morgan's unruly cursing and behavior. Begging forgiveness for his actions, at that moment on Morgan never, EVER cussed out unnecessarily in public again.

FREDERICK'S BIRTHDAY IS AUGUST 26TH. THAT IS THIS WEDNESDAY PEOPLE!

As always, leave a review or request! Put a name down so I don't have to refer you all as just my guest! Thanks!

-K.A.