It's Christmas, mum is shouting at Dad to help her in the kitchen, and Jamie's shouting at his video game. I'm secretly stuffing chocolates into my mouth before mum sees. All of this is set to some obligatory Christmas music being played through the stereo on a volume that is boisterously loud. Oh god... mum bursts into the living room..
"Nadine! Don't be so rude, lunch will be ready in 5 minutes. Go help your brother set the table..."
She's wearing her brand new apron that says 'Queen of the Kitchen', I expect Grandma bought her that. Or perhaps Dad did so he could get away with avoiding the cooking. Oh well, mum will only make him do the washing up.
"Now please!" She yells as she heads back into the kitchen, screaming at Dad to help her.
I sigh, I can't help but keep smiling. I know she's not actually mad, how can she be? It's Christmas Day! There are no rules when it comes to Christmas Day. Chocolate is the first thing you eat in the morning, followed by a massive plate of roast turkey. Then comes pudding, closely followed by more chocolate!
My eyelids flicker open... I quickly snap them shut... it's too bright...
The floor is vibrating. I focus on that. The sensation of vibrations softly running along the surface.
I can hear a low humming, but can't place the sound. It's so quiet, I expect it's in my head...
It's my first day at high school. I'm terrified. We recently moved into the area during the summer holidays. Meaning I know absolutely nobody... except Jamie, but he's pretty poor company. And he's still at primary school. I'm alone, nervous as I just know I'll find a way to embarrass myself.
The bell rings... I'm lost... where do I go? I look for a teacher, or a friendly face... I'm lost... where am I?
There is shouting in the background. I become distinctly aware that it's a woman's voice. She sounds angry. Shouldn't a nurse tell her to be quiet, if I'm in hospital she should be more respectful to the patients. I for one have what's left of that killer migraine. Please be quiet.
This doesn't feel right, it doesn't smell like a hospital, all clean, clinical and detached. But if it's not a hospital, where am I?
...I'm lost... yes, lost, I need to find my lecture hall. It's my first day of lessons at university. I can't be late! I've worked too hard to fail now, no headache will stop me from excelling. This is the start of my future, I have to find my way there, where the hell do I go! God, I'm so late... I need to get my bearings.
As I slowly regain consciousness, I become more aware of my surroundings. I'm still too scared to open my eyes, something is definitely wrong. I'm afraid of what I'll see. What if I'm not in hospital? Am I still on the toilet floor at university? I can't explain it, but there is this feeling in my gut, something innate that is warning me that something is wrong, I'm in danger...
Oh God... the memory comes flooding back... the pain... I remember the agony, the burning sensation that stole my focus from the rest of my environment, from my first lecture! I thought I was going to die?
Am I'd dead? No, I can't be. I must be in hospital.
Calm down Nadine. Be logical. Open your eyes...
Of course, this could all be a dream... some psychosis maybe? Or perhaps I really am dying, or at least unconscious... this may be my brains way of coping.
Yes, logically whatever this is will likely be a figment of my imagination. So logically I have nothing to fear. That makes sense.
Bravery, that's what I need, just open your eyes Nadine! There's no point in denying whatever situation I am in, avoiding it would be counterproductive to my survival.
This is it, time to work out what the hell is going on.