Six

"You'll call me, right?"

"Honey, you were the one who didn't pick up the last two times I called," Victoria rolled her eyes and gave Jim another hug. "You're acting like I'll never see you again. We're the closest base and you get into more trouble than anyone I've ever known. You'll be back in a month."

"Don't jinx us, Tori," Jim pouted and kissed her forehead, drawing back to give her a serious look. Victoria huffed again, but stayed in one place; the bustle of people around her prevented her from moving anyway. "You'll think about it, right? Job's always yours."

"When I want a demotion, Jim, you'll be the first to know."

Jim groaned. "You're wasted here. They can hire anyone to make schedules and yell at ensigns."

"But they asked me," Victoria patted his arm. "Run along and explore the galaxy now, kid. I'll see you soon."

Jim gave her another look, but sauntered away anyway. Uhura passed by and called out a goodbye to Victoria, and she smiled back before returning to her PADD. She was just about to turn around and yell for an ensign when she felt as though she was being watched, and looked up.

Dr. McCoy was staring at her.

He wasn't exactly ogling her, of course; he was leaning against a beam talking to someone else from his ship, but his eyes were fixed on her and he seemed to be ignoring the other man completely. Victoria pushed away the slight flutter in her stomach and fixed another smile onto her face, raising a hand in a short wave when she caught his eye. He raised his own hand back, but didn't approach her. She couldn't decide if she was happy or sad about that.

Victoria forced herself to go back to work. She shouldn't be doing this. He was a good man, with a life and a family – even if it was a broken one – and the last thing he needed was someone like her with all her baggage to come tumbling into his arms. She didn't even know how long she'd be in Yorktown, or where she would go when she had to leave. Staying in touch with Jim was unavoidable, Victoria had always had a soft spot for him and now that she had seen him again she knew she wouldn't want to let go. But getting involved with Leonard McCoy would be a mistake.

Still, she allowed herself a small smile. Talking to him for two hours before the sun had even risen that morning had been the highlight of the entire time she had spent in Yorktown. He was kind, very handsome and he knew absolutely nothing about her, which meant that if she flirted with him – not exactly on purpose, but not by accident either – he would get a particular gleam in his eye and say something in that ridiculously attractive accent of his and she would be forced to look away to stop giggling. It was refreshing, to be able to act like a single woman who didn't have something to hide. It was her own fault she couldn't be like that all the time, though: she could blame nobody except herself for her current situation.

"Jim's looking way too happy to be goin' back to space," muttered a voice from next to her. Victoria recognized it immediately. His southern drawl was unmistakable now. She glanced up and saw that Dr. McCoy was now standing next to her, a scowl on his face as he gazed at the ship ready to set out.

"You sure it's just space?" she asked casually, trying to pretend she hadn't just spent the past five minutes daydreaming about him.

He threw her an accusatory look. "You gave him the hooch, didn't you?"

Victoria pretended to read something on her PADD. "Did you tell me not to?" she asked, lips twitching with amusement.

McCoy groaned. "He's impossible enough when he isn't trying to get me drunk."

"I did make him promise he wouldn't drink on his shift."

McCoy snorted. "And he'll listen?"

"He's a good kid," she nudged his arm softly. She would have preferred to touch his hand – it was soft and firm, and the callouses of his fingertips were comforting. "And he has you to keep him safe."

McCoy's expression softened, but not by much. "Guess so."

They stood together in silence. McCoy watched the ship; Victoria pretended to work but watched his face in the reflection of her screen instead. His mouth was set in a harsh line, and there was a scowl on his face that looked permanent. No wonder people thought he was a grouch.

"Bet you're glad you didn't take that job now," McCoy broke the silence. Victoria gave him a questioning look. He indicated her PADD. "You've been glaring at our medical supply list for the past five minutes."

"Oh," Victoria laughed, but internally she heaved a sigh of relief. She had not, in fact, realized what she had been looking at, too focused on not focusing on the man standing next to her. "Yeah, the danger levels on your ship are a little high for me."

"No more than any other ship."

Victoria snorted. "Trust me, the Enterprise is an entity unto herself. I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole."

"Scotty'll kill you if he hears that," chuckled McCoy. "Can't say I blame you, though I am surprised."

"I'm a scientist who spend her free time gardening," Victoria rolled her eyes. "And you're surprised I don't like danger?"

"I don't know," when she glanced up at him, McCoy was looking at her as if he could see right through her. "You didn't strike me as the kind of girl who liked to be safe."

That's because I never did. Victoria blinked and, to mask the look of terror that was sure to cross her face at his accurate guess, she raised an eyebrow. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

McCoy shrugged. Victoria was slightly pleased to note that he wasn't being too careful with his words, not anymore at least. "Well, Jim gets his recklessness from you, doesn't he?"

She didn't have to ask him what he meant after that. "Did he tell you I thought it would be a good idea for him to take the mustang on a joyride?" she demanded. McCoy's lips twitched. Victoria groaned. "I would never tell an eleven year old that was a good idea!"

"You told him classic cars were fun to drive," said McCoy, smiling wider now.

"I was making conversation!" persisted Victoria. "If I had known he would test out my theory –"

"I'm only teasin' you, darlin'," interrupted McCoy, chuckling at her expression. "It doesn't take much for a crazy idea to take root in Jim's head, I know that."

Victoria huffed. "I'm just glad he didn't tell his mom it was my idea. She would have killed me."

"Probably," agreed McCoy. "He also told me you nearly punched his uncle in the face after that."

Victoria blushed. "He was always telling Winona what an awful kid Jim was," she said defensively. "And he wasn't. Rupert was an asshole to Jim, always had been. I knew if he punched him he'd be proven right, so I just… tried to take the blame off him."

McCoy shook his head, a look of wonderment on his face. His expression confused Victoria, and so did his words. "You're somethin' else, you know that?"

Victoria shrugged. "I know I was a kid too at the time, but I'd been practically raising Jim since he was a toddler. Would you have done it differently?"

"Probably not," said McCoy. His eyes twinkled. "Though I'd take the mustang out myself instead of telling my kid it would be fun."

"Who says I never took it out myself?" challenged Victoria.

McCoy's eyes widened. "Did you –"

"Do you really want to hear the answer to that question?"

McCoy grimaced. "How is Iowa still standing after you two?"

"I wonder the same thing," Victoria smirked. "And don't get me wrong, I enjoy the odd explosion and race against time as much as the next girl," she glanced up at him. "I guess I just like feeling safe more."

"Yeah, well," McCoy shrugged, and Victoria was suddenly struck once more by how tired he looked. Compared to the doctor, Jim was a spring chicken, and he'd been looking terrible since he'd come to Yorktown. Clearly, the stress of space was getting to them all. "Trying to keep people safe is all we can do."

The morbid turn of conversation confused her. "I think trying is essential," said Victoria carefully. McCoy was looking straight ahead – she had no idea how to handle such a discussion with the man. Jim had always called him a grouch, but she had it on very good authority that only one thing made Dr. Leonard McCoy grumpy, and that was not being able to do his job. She scrambled for something to say. "Do you know why I picked the science division, instead of medicine, Doctor?" she blurted out.

That caught his attention. "I didn't know you had a choice."

"Well, I did," Victoria kept her eyes fixed on her PADD, sensing that McCoy found it easier to talk openly if he thought she wasn't examining his expressions. "My dad wanted me to be a doctor. My mom died when I was very young of a disease that they're still trying to understand, and I'm sure he wanted me to help cure it someday. But I couldn't do it."

"I'm sorry," his hand brushed her momentarily, the small action offering her more comfort than either of them expected. Victoria smiled a little, accepting his gesture, but his hand was gone too soon. "So, you didn't want to be a medic. Why's that?"

"Because I have an unnatural amount of respect for living things," said Victoria simply.

McCoy raised an eyebrow. "And doctors don't?"

"You misunderstand me. Doctors play god," she shifted her gaze back to her PADD. "I can't do that, not with another living, breathing thing, plant or animal or alien. Especially not human. And for a long time, I thought that was a strength. But I was wrong."

"You were?"

"Yeah, I was," she finally turned her gaze up to face him fully. "Because it takes an enormous amount of strength to make that call, to study for years and practice for even more, to lose patients in the name of learning and to put yourself in a position where you have the knowledge and the skills to determine how to save a life. I didn't have that strength, but you do. And I admire you for it."

McCoy sighed. "That's a pretty thought, darlin', but it's not how I see it."

"Because you are a good man. But you can't save everyone, Leonard."

"Still shouldn't have to make the choice," his retort was gruff.

"The strength to make the choice is what makes you a good doctor," she did touch his hand this time, trying desperately to ignore the sparkle of electricity that shot up her arm when she wrapped her fingers around his. McCoy glanced down at their joint hands in surprise, shifting his gaze back to her questioningly. He had offered her comfort willingly enough just then, but was the idea of receiving it really such a foreign concept to him? Victoria's heart ached at the thought. She tried to smile. "Don't worry too much, Doctor. You'll get wrinkles."

The joke was feeble, but McCoy's lips twitched anyway. "I'm too old to be worryin' about how I look anymore."

"And you calling yourself old is an insult to me. We're the same age, aren't we?"

McCoy raised his eyebrows. "You don't look my age."

"You don't look sixty either, despite what you tell yourself," shot back Victoria. Trying to act casual, she let go of his hand. "Any idea where you're off to after digging into the ambassador's claims?"

McCoy shrugged. "Wherever Jim takes us," he said dryly.

Victoria laughed and then, on impulse, she opened up her PADD again. "Well, if you decide to come by again and Jim is still ignoring my calls," she pressed a button and a single slip of paper came out of the built-in printing system. She tore it off and held it out to McCoy. "Let me know?"

Victoria wondered if she was imaging the lighter expression of his face as he smiled at her offering. "Will do," he took the paper, pocketing it just as someone yelled out his name. "I'm comin'!" he yelled back, eyes still fixed on her. Victoria smiled. He grinned back, squeezed her hand one more time, and then he was gone.