Thanks for the reviews and I am so sorry I have taken so long to upload this next chapter! I recently moved to uni myself- and have just been super busy setting in!
In there news- I cried when I found out RTD is taking over as screenwriter for Doctor Who and can't wait for more of his fabulous plots and writing- ps. My bet is Olly Alexander as Doctor number 14...
Let me know why you think Nadine is stuck jumping through the Doctor's Time-stream ... I don't believe this has been done before and I've taken a few risks with this plot, planning it so intricately as to avoid any loops being missed... all should make sense in time...
I am the sort of person who avoids sleep, spending hours awake at night reading, the thought of wasting my time on such a menial yet vital process seems like a tragedy. So instead I wait until I can hold my eyes open no longer, until the very last second, when my eyes feel dry and my body weighed down by exhaustion. It is then that I sleep.
In contrast, there are very few things that will get me out of bed in the morning, suddenly the very thing I spend hours avoiding is now the only thing in the world that I want. But then I suppose that represents everything in life, you push away the things you can have, take them for granted even. Then, when it gets snatched away from you, at the point where you can no longer have it... you realise it is the only thing you want in the world.
My eyelids are heavy as consciousness slowly seeps into me, I stretch out like a cat. Then I slump back into the duvet, allowing myself to be smothered in its warm and secure embrace. I roll over onto my front, face buried into layers of thick pillows that mould around my head easily. I am content, unaware, unthinking, just at that point of consciousness where everything is peaceful... before your mind has had time to kick into overdrive. I take another deep breath, savouring this moment of bliss. Except this doesn't smell right, it doesn't smell like home. There is nothing, just the crisp air. Not the smell of my shampoo, or whatever mixture of perfumes that have lingered on my skin from the night previously. No, this isn't right, this is not my bed. And it is this thought process that has my eyelids snapping open to examine my surroundings. Then everything comes back to me. I groan as I realise the last few events are clearly not a dream, and I begin to remember in abject horror my breakdown earlier. I groan again. How many times am I going to wake up in an unknown environment, I am becoming a pro at being able to gain insights based on examining a room at this point.
I am in some white cotton pyjamas, and as I move to get off the bed, my feet find themselves sliding into a matching set of slippers by the foot of the bed. This place is like a hotel, a five star one, its gorgeous. I am in a room that must be at least double the size of my old bedroom at home, and definitely could fit four of my university accommodation rooms into it. A twinge of grief strikes me, but I let it pass, it's easier to repress than to confront my grief right now, so keep the mind busy Nadine.
I trudge over to a door that I assume is the exit. I am wrong. I enter a porcelain white bathroom with a huge bath in the middle, a sink opposite and an enormous full length mirror that I make an effort to avoid at this very moment in time. This is exquisite. Truly this whole bedroom and bathroom is just gorgeous. Whoever this belongs to is one hell of a lucky person. Perhaps it's a guest room, but who wouldn't want this room for themselves rather than reserved for guests?
There is a toothbrush and toothpaste sat by the sink. I trudge over, still taken away by my surroundings, and begin to brush my teeth and go about completing my morning routine. I borrow some shampoo and conditioner and take a cold, refreshing shower. Finally, I am fully awake. My brain is back to overthinking, processing thoughts at a million miles an hour.
I move back through to the bedroom and find a neat pile of clothes, jeans and a comfy top and hoodie. They definitely weren't there earlier, come to think of it, the bed has been made also. Has someone been in here? Suddenly a warm buzz of humming spreads through me, and then I realise that it must've been the ship. The Tardis? I think the doctor called her that, saying she was sentient. Wow, thats pretty amazing. I receive another warm hum in response, I smile, realising I haven't done that in a while.
Then a door clicks open behind me, that must be her way of directing me out? I quickly change in the bathroom, taking a minute to examine my appearance in the mirror, I look relatively less drained than I expected, but still, the pale pallor of my face indicates some shock and lingering trauma from the events of the past few days. Has it been days? I haven't kept track of when exactly I arrived here, and god knows how long I slept for. My blonde hair lies flatly against my tall, skinny frame. My eyes are still slightly puffy from sleep and having been crying earlier. No, I'm not going to think about that right now.
I head back towards the door, which leads me out onto a corridor. There are metal frames supporting the body of this infrastructure, now it looks more like a space ship. I begin to wander around for a while, peering into rooms, a tennis court, swimming pool, library, music room, cinema, even a laboratory! Then, caught up in the wanderings of my mind, I fail to notice the red head exiting a room and we collide.
"Oh god!" I shriek in shock.
She shrieks too in immediate response.
We both take a second to calm down before quickly laughing and apologising at the same time.
"It's fine, honestly, it's my fault for not looking where I was going" I say embarrassedly, my face turning almost as red as her hair.
"Don't worry about it. How are you? The doctor said you were shattered, I mean I don't blame you... he's enough to tire anyone... and trust me I get that completely" she rambles to me, not really giving me a chance to answer.
"And you're young! Which must be even more stressful..." She ponders, am I meant to respond? I sort of gape at her like a fish, trying to find a point to speak, does she ever run out of breath?
"I mean you and I are good friends, we will stick together, you've been here for me through so much... I should probably stop there... but anyway, ,my point is, I'm here for you. I consider you a friend, well, my best friend really, Nadine" she rambles, trying to make me feel better, more comfortable.
It works, I almost start laughing at the way she tries to explain herself to me, and finally find an opportunity to cut in.
"Its Amy, isn't it?" I ask.
"Yeah, and the man I was with...the one with the nose... yeah, he's my husband Rory" she confirms to me.
"Oh, right. So you both live here too?" I continue.
"Yeah, we do for now, life with the Doctor is just so crazy, so brilliant, we both want this far more than real life right now. Just to live and experience while we're young and free to I guess" Amy seems so alive, the way her eyes light up describing her travelling with the Doctor and the man she loves. It does sound awesome.
"Anyway, you're so new here, I bet you've not even found the Kitchen. You must be starving! C'mon, lets go grab some breakfast and meet the boys" Amy doesn't give me a chance to respond as my hand is grabbed and I am quickly yanked in the direction of the kitchen.
I suddenly feel nervous, I haven't seen the Doctor since my breakdown and I am so embarrassed. I hate public shows of emotion, I struggle to let people see me when I am hurting. Preferring to keep my vulnerable side safely hidden away. Will he think me weak? I literally screamed and cried at a complete stranger. Then there is Amy's husband, Rory. I don't really want to intrude on them, I barely know him. I don't really know any of them, and I don't want to be the person to ruin whatever dynamic they have going.
Before I have any longer to panic I am thrust into the Kitchen by Amy, who then rushes past me to embrace Rory. The two begin chatting, moving to sit at a table. I however, move backwards towards the edge of the room, entirely uncomfortable with the whole situation. I wring my hands together as I think about how out of place I am here. The room is yellow, bright and light. It is warm and smells of toast, bacon and other such breakfast items. I can practically taste the fresh coffee in the air, as well as the sweeter and more subtle fragrance of tea. As my eyes roam across the room, they stop and settle on the back of a tweed jacket. The Doctor. He has his back to me and appears to be cooking scrambled eggs while humming a tune to himself. How very domestic, I didn't picture this alien to behave so typically human. I laugh to myself at the whole situation before quickly sobering up when Amy lets out a particularly loud laugh in response to something Rory has said. God, are they laughing at me? Maybe I can just sneak back out without drawing any attention.
The Doctor turns to the seated Amy and Rory as this time Rory snorts in response to whatever Amy has said. I continue to edge closer to the doorway, my hand reaching out to touch the doorframe. Then his head snaps up and his eyes connect with mine. I freeze and time seems to draw out...
Then he smiles, a genuine, warm and welcoming smile that has me fighting against a desire to return it. He notices the corner of my lips draw into a smirk before I have time to stop them, of course he does. God, I am like a thirteen year old, blushing and smirking in response to one bit of attention. It's just, there is something about this man that makes me feel like when he looks at me I am the only thing in his world. It makes me feel noticed, I'm not used to that.
"Nadine! You're up, good, I was just about to come looking for you" he heads over to me and draws me into a hug before pushing me to take a seat at the table, keeping one hand on the back of my chair. He knows I want to leave. But of course he is going to make me stay and be sociable because it would be too easy to let me go off and brood somewhere.
Rory looks up to me, having clearly only now realised I'm here. I don't blame him, with a gorgeous wife like Amy it must be hard to take notice of anything else.
"Morning, Nads" he smiles across to me.
"Morning" is my light reply.
The pair return to their conversation, something about a wild rainbow giraffe that accidentally swallowed a fez. Who knows anymore.
"You must be hungry Nadine, any special requests? I've got your favourite tea right here" He heads over to the counter to pour me some tea. Returning with the mug that he places on the table for me.
This ball of anxiety in my stomach has staved off any appetite I may have.
"I'm not really that hungry, but thank you anyway" I reply, reaching to hold the mug, if only to feel the burn of the boiling water against ceramic on my skin.
"Nonsense, I know for a fact you've not eaten in well over 12 hours, more like 24 really. I'll grab you a couple of pancakes" he dashes over to the work surface again having completed ignored me.
Amy and Rory begin to get up, they tell the Doctor that they'll be ready to travel in an hour and that they'll meet him in the console room. Then it's just us two, I don't know if thats worse.
I snap out of my thoughts when a plate of pancakes with butter and syrup are placed down in front of me. I actually feel sick at the sight. I can't eat that, my nerves wont allow it. I always lose my appetite when I'm stressed and anxious.
"I'm sorry, but I just can't..." I begin to explain.
"Just give them a try, I know you like them" He insists, moving to sit opposite. Watching me.
Giving in, I pierce a small portion onto my fork and eat it, it's probably really nice, but right now to me its just too sickly. I continue to take small bites, avoiding eye contact with the Doctor. He begins to munch on a banana and we sit in silence for some time.
I reach a point about a quarter of the way through my first pancake when I just begin moving the same chunk around on my plate. Hoping he will just let me go soon. Not even sure why I am waiting for his permission to leave.
"Nadine, you need to eat" he states, looking directly at me.
"I'm not hungry" I prickle at his tone.
"Tough, you'll get sick if you don't look after yourself. Now eat." Is his stern reply.
One single, traitorous tear slides down my cheek and lands with a splash on the table.
"I can't" I admit. Now starting to feel more sick.
He sighs, loosing the firm expression on his face. His features soften as he realises I am crying.
"Did you like your room?" He asks.
He is trying to distract me, I let him.
"My room? Wait, that's my room?" I question back.
"Of course it is! Who else's would it be?" He fires back, amused.
"I don't know, I thought it was a guest room or something" I mutter.
"You're not a guest Nadine, it's all yours" he replies sincerely.
"If I've traveled with you for so long, how come its so empty then?" I am curious, maybe I can catch him out.
"The Tardis modifies herself to be synchronised with whichever point in time you are at, so as you're currently at the beginning of your own linear point in time, having met me now for the first time, its a brand new room. All yours to decorate and make messy" He explains to me, a knowing smile crossing his face as I expect he is thinking of a future me. Somehow, I find myself jealous.
"Try and eat some more" he suggests to me.
I concede and take another bite. It's not that bad now...
My stomach lurches and suddenly that pain that has become so normal to me returns with full force. I immediately cry out and drop my fork to the ground. Grasping the sides of the table for relief.
The Doctor is quick to react, jumping up from his seat and moving to help lower me off my chair and onto the ground. He tucks my head under his and holds me in his secure embrace.
"It's ok Nadine, everything is going to be fine. Deep breaths, it'll pass" he tries to ease my pain, yet the frustration at being helpless is evident in his voice.
I sob into his chest, frustrated myself at how helpless I become when this pain hits.
Suddenly I am yanked into the darkness, into unconsciousness... before landing with a thud.