Author's Note: Some of you caught on to a little bump they will both go through right? One person, (you know who you are) mentioned that if they got together it's a little weird considering that if Sirius hadn't gone to Azkaban they'd be like brother and sister….who do you think will have that in mind? Hm?
~Of Silver and Gold~
Chapter 32: Seeds of Doubt
Sirius looked down at the floor staring blankly at it. It was frustrating, life that is. Why did life have to play with him this way, hadn't he suffered enough? Not only did he have a horrid meeting with his daughter, but he also ended up treating her like if she was nothing.
He felt that he couldn't breathe and took sharp breaths trying to calm himself down. He knew that Remus was coming his way, he heard him rushing towards him, and for a moment he appreciated Remus' maturity. Now that they were adults he figured out that they only had one another in the world making their friendship stronger than before.
"Sirius" Remus said softly and gripped his shoulder.
Sirius looked up showing Remus just how distraught was. Remus felt for his old friend because he had gone through enough. He sat down beside him and patted his back trying to calm him down. Sirius' breathing got back to normal, well as normal as it could get in this situation and sighed.
"So Angel Malfoy?" Sirius whispered. "She's my-"
"I know" Remus said.
Sirius looked at him sharply.
"You knew?"
Any man felt more comfortable with feeling anger than feeling pain, for anger was easier to express, to let out and so he did.
"You git, letting me wallow in my own pain of losing Amorette and losing what could have been my daughter? Bloody hell, what did I ever do to you that made you stay quiet!"
"Sirius-" Remus sighed.
"Don't! Seems life wasn't the only one that loved seeing me look like a damned fool was it? "
"Sirius-" Remus tried again.
"I thought you were my best mate Moony." Sirius said angrily.
"Sirius shut your gob!" Remus screamed showing his frustration.
That shut Sirius up, because despite of his anger, he knew that when Remus screamed, it meant business.
"For Merlin's sake listen to yourself. You know why I didn't tell you?" Remus said frustrated. "I didn't tell you because of her!"
He threw him the notebook with the drawing of Angel on the page. He ran his fingers through his hair frustrated.
" She was so heartbroken when she found out her origin-"
"-for being the daughter of a criminal" Sirius muttered.
"No, because all she grew up with was a lie" Remus said his tone growing softer. "This poor little girl, dealing with something, in which she tells no one? Then when she met you…"
"I was a right git with her" Sirius groaned.
Flashback…
He remembered that the moment that Harry had believed him for a second, well enough for him to attack Severus he felt an huge sense of pride in Harry. He was just like he imagined, and in his whole joy he failed to really take a look at Angel.
She was so young, big doe eyes that reminded him of Amorette now that he saw it, and her soft waves were like his very own ,well a tamer version if he was honest with himself. The way she ran towards Snivelous was what caught his attention of her.
She held him to her in a caring manner, and looked at Harry with such disappointment.
"How could you?" she whispered at Harry.
The way she said it to Harry, it was obvious that her words affected him.
"He was trying to save you from this criminal!" she continued.
"Shut up!" Sirius yelled. "I'm not going to be judged by some insignificant tot"
He had yelled in frustration, fighting for his honor. He had seen how Remus had reacted as well, a wince and the fact that she looked so sad, so disappointed. Her cheeks were red with shame and she did what he remembered him doing often, she used anger as a defense mechanism.
"Well so far it seems that my uncle was right" she hissed in return.
The way she looked down and her eyes pooling with water was enough for him to think that he had disappointed her, now that he saw it. He had broken the illusion that she had of him, yes he might not be a criminal, but he had hurt her emotionally, something that would be hard to forgive.
Merlin, he felt hate for the girl, his own daughter, but the way she looked back at him, she showed her hate as well.
End Flashback…
"She hates me Moony, she hates me" Sirius said sadly.
"She doesn't" Remus said comfortingly.
"You saw the way she looked at me when she first met me. I treated her like she was nothing" Sirius sighed.
"That might be true, but would a girl that hates you try and get you your freedom?" Remus asked.
"What?" Sirius asked confused.
Remus walked over to the drawer and took out a pile of letters. He took out the one he was looking for and threw it at his old friend.
"Look at the signature" Remus said.
"Yes I saw it before AMMB, what of it?" Sirius said frustrated.
"Angel Marie Malfoy Black" Remus said.
"Her full name is Angel?" Sirius asked.
"Well Angeline, those are what the records say, but in the records there is no mention of Black as her last name. See? She added that herself, acknowledging you."
Sirius smiled slightly, but soon his face changed to one of horror.
"Fuckin' hell" he said shocked.
"What?" Remus asked.
"Harry! Oh bugger" he said and got up and walked to the pile.
"What about him is he in danger?" he asked.
"Worst, look at this" Sirius said handing him the letter. "Read this"
Remus looked down and read it like it was nothing, but looked up with a shrug.
"Bloody hell Remus you're supposed to be the smart one. Look!" Sirius said "Sirius, you know I consider you a father, and well…there is this girl."
"That's normal" Remus said amused.
"Shut up and listen!" Sirius said glaring before reading the letter. "She's awfully pretty and I like her, but there are just a few problems. You see she's popular, witty, and makes me look like a fool no matter what I do! Not to mention she is rarely the nicest girl out there you know? She's also from Slytherin and well…she's not from the best family. Her name's Angel, you know the girl that helped us last year? Well yeah it's her."
Sirius finished reading the excerpt and looked at Remus.
"So? It was really obvious seeing the two interact that both fancied one another." Remus said amused.
"So she fancies him too?" Sirius asked.
"Quite right, I wouldn't be surprised if they are together right now" Remus said.
"Brandy?" Sirius said.
"What?"
"I need some brandy" Sirius said pouring himself a glass and knocking it down immediately.
"What's wrong with that Padfoot?" Remus asked.
"Think about it" Sirius said sitting down. "If I would have never gone to Azkaban, I would be raising the pair with Amorette. They would have been brother and sister"
Remus winced slightly at the situation brought forth by his old friend.
"I see how that seems incestuous in your perspective, but it's nothing like that at all. Both were raised differently and both just…they honestly come together…reminds me of the old Marauder times really." Remus said.
"He was chasing her around?" Sirius asked frowning.
"Are you frowning because she is being chased by boys, or the fact that Harry is chasing?" Remus asked chuckling.
"Boys? Oh hell…I am not even sure" Sirius admitted rubbing his temples.
"No need to worry okay?" Remus said.
"There's more Moony" Sirius said.
"Wait let me sit down for this dramatic reading" Remus said amused as he took a seat.
Sirius glared and began to read once more.
"There's also a beautiful girl named Cho Chang. She's from Ravenclaw and she's very smart. Did I mention that she's an extremely pretty girl, with long dark hair, brown eyes, and a freckled face. She's so friendly to me and smiles at me every time she sees me making me feel butterflies in my stomach. Sirius, she's also a seeker like I am and she's great at it too. I heard from Remus you were quite a ladies' man and well if you could help that'd be great."
Remus smiled amused.
"Then tell him to follow his first choice Angel and be done with that" Remus said.
"No" Sirius said.
"Padfoot" Remus warned.
"No Moony, listen to me, this works out great. I tell him to go out with this Chang girl, and then he stays away from my little girl!"
"That's awful selfish of you." Remus said, "Not to mention they are very adorable together, if I do say so myself."
"No, I'll write to him right now." Sirius said.
"You immature worrying ninny" Remus reprimanded shaking his head.
"When you're a father you'll understand.." Sirius said and began to writer as quickly as he could.
Back at Hogwarts…
"Can I ask you something?" Harry asked Angel.
"You already did" she said amused. "But go ahead ask away."
"Are you always this…giggly?" he asked. "Not that I don't mind!"
She stopped walking and turned to face him annoyed yet confused.
"I thought that….stupid Pansy" she said sighing.
"What?" Harry asked confused.
"Aren't girlfriends supposed to be really bubbly and kind and all that.." she said innocently.
Harry was surprised and shrugged.
"Honestly I don't know myself,"
"You don't like it?"she asked.
"I do!"
"Bollocks" she murmured.
"No I do…okay…it's just that it makes me nervous and I don't like that." Harry admitted. "Ow!"
She smirked punching him.
"Prefer me doing that?" she asked.
"No…not really" he said rubbing his arm.
She laughed and he smiled.
"I prefer you being you yeah? Not all that bird stuff" he said.
She shrugged.
"Don't really care really" She said.
"Good" he replied.
"Now it's my turn" she said looking at him.
"Hm?"
"Well…are you really going to compete?" she asked.
"I have to…but I don't want to" he admitted.
She gripped his hand in a comforting manner and she frowned.
"How do you think Sirius is going to react?" she asked.
"I don't know" he admitted.
"I'm sorry, I asked all of this, it's getting you really depressed" she said sighing. "I'm too pushy sometimes.
"It's okay" he said chuckling. "I prefer it"
She smiled halfheartedly and she leaned up to kiss his cheek. She didn't pull back but was instead hiding a smirk.
"Is that too giggly for you?" she asked.
"No that's a good level" he whispered.
She laughed and pushed him off amused.
"I should really be heading back you know"
He frowned and looked at her in his big puppy dog look. She shook her head and pushed him away again.
"Stop that" she said amused. "It's almost dinner time and I need to talk to Pansy."
"Gossip about me?" he asked.
"Git, no actually, she wants to talk about something else." She said.
"I can't know?"
"Nope. Sorry but I think it's something against you." She said.
"You'd tell me right? I mean I am your-"
"Maybe" she said coyly.
He chuckled and wrapped his arms around her to say goodbye.
"I'll see you tomorrow at breakfast, you idiot" she said amused.
"True" he said but didn't let go.
She rolled her eyes and kissed his cheek before pulling back.
"Bye Potter" she said smiling slightly.
He smiled as she waved as she was walking up the hill. That is until he remembered that she was heading towards her friends, people that supported her and cared for her. Unlike him, who had his friends doubting him.
He sighed returning to his common room to see that there weren't many people there. Ron was playing chess in the corner and looked away immediately after noticing that it was him. He felt like he was an outcast that is when he saw Hermione smiling at him at the couch and patting the seat beside her.
He thanked his lucky stars that he had good friends like Hermione. He smiled and sat down looking at her appreciatively.
"I'm sorry" she began.
"It's alright.." he said softly.
"No, it's not. I've left you alone and I've been a bad friend."
"It's fine Hermione" Harry said patting her hand trying to comfort her.
"Really?" she asked.
"Of course." He said grinning at her.
She smiled, she couldn't help it, Harry was a great friend.
"You were fine alone?" she asked.
"Who says I was alone?" he asked smiling.
She looked at him curiously and he merely smiled staying mum about it.
Next Day…
Harry sighed waking up in the morning. He didn't want to go to classes, thinking that people would still be giving him that look. He looked around his room to see that all his other roommates were gone. He sighed knowing that there was no use.
"Maybe they'll accept I'm a champion by now" he said to himself.
He smiled thinking so, after all he was an optimist and got up and got ready for another day of classes.
As he walked towards his class, he noticed something different. Usually the Hufflepuffs were the nicest of the classmates, but this time it was not the case. During his Herbology, not only were angry, many were whispering that Harry had stolen their champion's glory. He was only mocked by them as he was hit by a bulb plant, but he was forced to sit near Ron, with a frazzled Hermione who tried to make small talk between the two and failing. Even Professor Sprout was different, ignoring him when he raised his hand to even answer a question. This was definitely not his day, maybe not the year.
He was grateful for having Hagrid for Care of Magical Creatures when he didn't give many students time to talk. He hated having this class usually because of the Slytherins, but it seemed that this time Hagrid was in a no nonsense mode which he appreciated.
"Alright class dismissed" Hagrid boomed.
Everyone began to disperse, that is except Harry who was putting his books away and the Slytherins. He forced himself to ignore them, but as he saw someone coming their direction he had a small smile appear on his face.
Her cheeks were red from the running she had done and her hair was up letting the wind hit her cheeks adding to the redness. Her eyes were bright as she saw him, but soon her gaze moved towards her brother and his friends.
He was glad she was there, they had promised to meet and talk about how his day went, but as he saw her gaze he knew that it wasn't going to go as smoothly as he first thought.
"Didn't know you were coming to see us love" Blaise said smiling.
Angel forced a smile and shrugged, walking towards them in an awkward way. Draco smiled wrapping his arm around his sister and walking towards Harry. Angel winced at her bad luck, for here was another tongue lashing for Harry from none other than her brother.
"See boys it's the champion. Look at him boys" He began.
Harry gripped his bag tighter and turned to face his bully..and his girlfriend beside him.
"Angel, have you got your autograph book?" Draco said to her kissing her forehead. "Better get a signature now , because I doubt he's going to be around much longer….half the Triwizard champions have died…how long do you reckon you're going to last Potter? Ten minutes into the task's my bet"
She looked at Draco and shook her head at him. Sure Draco knew that she disapproved at the constant teasing he gave Potter, but she usually kept quiet, something he appreciated.
Harry's eyes weren't really on Malfoy, but instead on Angel who looked worried, he knew he would talk to her about the tournament, but his gaze returned to Malfoy once he heard the last words. He glared as he heard Crabbe, Goyle, Pansy, and Blaise laugh at his comment.
"Don't you have lunch with Viktor Draco?" Angel asked before Draco could continue his taunts.
Draco turned to face her and smirked.
"Ah that's what you came to remind me? You're the best." He said. "Come on boys!"
They all got their things and began to walk away and Angel thought everything was going smoothly, that is until Draco grabbed her hand and tugged her.
"You're coming too, come on" He said smiling.
"R-right!" Angel said.
As she was tugged along, she turned back to see a frowning Harry. She shrugged with the same frown on her lips as she was leaving him. She was looking forward to talking to him, and having him along bothered her.
He thought that it would end eventually, but on the contrary, each day next to next was getting worst. He felt even worse than the time in second year when everyone thought that he was the heir of Slytherin. He now knew that he preferred people fearing him than having to deal with great dislike.
He hated double potions more than anything because he dealt with Malfoy and his cronies. He tried not fighting as he usually did, because now he believed that he had to be more careful towards the git, Merlin only knows what he would tell Angel, and he was not walking that path again. Even Hedwig was mad at him for not being able to send a letter to him and he felt so alone. Many nights he forced himself into an uncomfortable sleep.
The week passed without seeing much friendliness that is until he got a friendly person's letter. He smiled seeing Sirius' writing and immediately opened it.
Dear Harry,
I can't believe that I haven't responded to your previous letter. You haven't
Written anything new have you? If you have I haven't gotten it yet, sorry pup.
I have to say I was interested in hearing your predicament and
after careful consideration, here's my advice:
Go towards the friendly Ravenclaw you know
pup that Slytherin's are hard to deal with and
are known to be fickle girls. Ravenclaw is your best choice
and she's less complicated than the girl Malfoy that you told me about.
Plus a friendly pretty girl trumps a cunning pretty girl. I do hope
you follow my advice. After all you never know if the
snake will be by your side when you most need it.
Sincerely,
Sirius
Harry took a deep breath reading it and frowned. A lot had changed since he wrote the letter to Sirius the previous time. He obviously hadn't gotten the letter of him and the Triwizard Tournament. It bothered him that Sirius, who he held very dear was doubting that Angel was the smart idea. He knew that that's what he himself thought at first, but the way she was with him kind of cancelled all his insecurities out, but now Sirius had implanted the seed of doubt.
He folded the letter once more and hid it in his drawer then headed down towards the fields. He almost groaned seeing the Slytherin's there, but as he saw a brunette by a blond he knew that she was there too.
He hid behind a tree and saw her looking at something that Malfoy had, this bag. She slipped her hand in and took out a button. He saw her looking at it and whatever it was she started laughing. All the Slytherins were laughing as well.
She kissed Malfoy's cheek, putting the button in her bag. She seemed to be saying her goodbyes and left. He saw many of Malfoy's cronies putting them on.
He tried to ignore them, but he was too curious about seeing what the pins said. He saw that they were handing them out to other students and as he walked forward he saw them.
Support Cedric Diggory, the REAL Hogwarts Champion
They were in big red letters glowing on the pin and burning brightly in the dim background.
Harry glared seeing them, and as Malfoy saw him he smirked.
"Like them Potter?" Draco called out towards Harry. "And this isn't all they do- look!"
Malfoy pressed the badge into his chest and then the message vanished replacing it with these words:
POTTER STINKS!
All the Slytherins began to laugh loudly at them, and all did the same showing Harry just what they had concocted. As they all glowed Harry felt himself flush and the heat travelling down to his neck especially when Malfoy threw one at his hand.
Harry saw that Ron and Seamus were together not sticking up for him and he felt all the anger that had built up explode. He took out his wand and pointed it at Malfoy, making him still in his laughter.
"Harry!" he heard Hermione say.
"Go on Potter" Malfoy said in a deadly tone. "Moody's not here come on"
Harry glared and both were having a staring match.
"Funnunculus!" Harry screamed.
"Densaugeo!" Draco yelled at the same time.
Both jets of light bounced off one another and one hit Goyle and the other Hermione. She cried out in pain and covered her face.
"Hermione!" He heard Ron say.
Harry looked lost as he saw Ron take her away from him. He managed to see her teeth growing large and he felt a pang when she wouldn't look at him. Some Slytherin's were laughing, but he couldn't take it. He ran away away from them and away from the mocking in general.
He ran towards the woods, and felt his anger and adrenaline coursing through him. He then saw a figure sitting under a tree and reading quietly. He knew who it was and as he looked down at the button still at hand, he needed to talk to her.
Angel was reading quietly wanting to get time for herself, something she rarely had, for as much as she wanted to meet Harry, Draco was dragging her everywhere. She finally managed to escape him telling him that she needed to study for an exam.
As she felt a shadow cover her figure she looked up to see Harry. A smile automatically appeared on her face, but soon it dimmed seeing his expression.
"Did you think it was funny?" he whispered not holding back his anger or pain.
"What?" she asked.
"Did you think those badges were funny?" he asked.
"Of course" she replied chuckling. "Who wouldn't?"
"What kind of girlfriend are you?" he hissed. "I thought you cared for me!"
As his voice rose she realized that something was wrong and she tensed up. She got up wanting to face him head on for an argument that was going to escalate. She threw her book to the side and glared at him.
"I do care for you, but what does that have to do with me and those stupid badges!"
"You're supposed to support me! But no, you hide in the shadows, only with me when it's convenient for you"
He had never really been this angry before, and he would later admit to himself this just wasn't about them, Sirius had really made him vulnerable.
"Why can't I find a stupid badge funny?" she said.
"Everyone is mocking me!" he roared.
"Mocking you? Why the hell would that be my fault?" she screamed too.
"You're supposed to love me! But I see you're just a coward" he growled.
She whipped her head to face him and felt herself tremble in anger. Her cheeks were getting redder and she formed fists to reign in her anger.
"What did you call me?" she whispered angrily.
She walked forward coming mere inches from him. She looked up to come nose to nose to him and glared as if she was the same height, maybe even taller with her dark aura.
"Coward" he enunciated it. "Why did I even think of dating such a cowardly Slytherin, you're all the same. Sirius was right, you're bad for me"
She stepped back and touched her chest, she felt anger and pain and she kept herself from tearing up.
"It's obvious you don't care for me. I knew you didn't love me yet, but I thought you at least cared. I guess all you wanted was a few kisses."
"Oh don't turn this around" he said rolling his eyes.
"Look you git, you better watch your mouth, for I swear I won't forgive you if you cross the line. There are a few things I ever open up about and you're mocking me!" she hissed.
Both were glaring daggers at one another and she bent down.
"How am I not supposed to find these badges funny?" she asked taking one of them out.
"Oh why aren't you wearing it then, being Slytherin and all" he said.
She looked at him confused.
"What the bloody hell are you talking about?" she asked.
"Those badges and you laughing at them." He said annoyed.
"Well spew is stupid" she said.
"What?"
"Spew? Or S.P.E.W, that stupid organization your friend started" she said throwing it at him.
He looked down at the button and he knew that this all started wrong.
"I was talking about this one" he said handing it to her.
It was obvious she was trying not to touch him and she looked down at it.
"So some people support Cedric, I knew my brother did" she said shrugging.
"Press it" he urged.
She did as she was told and she looked up as it changed.
"Oh…" she said softly.
"It was a misunderstanding" he whispered with a small yet relieved smile.
As he tried to embrace her she stepped back and he wondered what was wrong. But as she looked up at him with such sad eyes, he knew that this might not be easily fixed.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"You're an idiot" she whispered shaking her head. "You obviously don't think I care about you."
"I was just mad, it was a misunderstanding" he said trying to hug her once more.
She pushed him back and bit her bottom lip.
" No it wasn't. You don't trust me at all. I would never wear that because I care about you. And…and you said Sirius was right about me?"
He looked away ashamed.
"What the hell did he say?" she asked.
"Just that you weren't-"
"Got it" she cut him off and wrapped her arms around herself in a form of comfort.
Silence loomed over them and she picked up her things. He watched her, but as he heard her chuckle and looked confused.
"Well this was shorter than I ever expected us lasting" she said amused.
He knew that that tone was hiding her hurt, and he too felt pain at her comment. She wasn't going to…was she?
"What do you mean lasting? This was just a fight" he said frowning.
"No it's not Potter! Obviously you aren't ready for this."
"I am" he said.
"No you're not. A little comment from your godfather and you're ranting at me in anger? This isn't stable, I can't believe I agreed for this to happen. This is why I hate labels"
"Come on you can't be serious" he said. "I'm sorry"
As much as she fought him trying to hold her, he managed to, by pressing her against the tree.
"Stop" she whispered.
It was no use; he wrapped his arms around her and hid his face at the crook of her neck.
"Don't do this…I need you" he whispered desperately.
She felt tears in her eyes but she shook her head.
"No one believes in me Angel" he whispered. "Please just don't become my enemy."
"I can't do this Potter" she replied. "But..I won't leave you"
He kissed her neck and nuzzled her before pulling back to face her.
"What?" he whispered.
"I think our relationship…it's not working, we're obviously not ready" she said.
He pressed his forehead against her.
"Don't say I don't care about you because I do" he whispered.
She didn't protest as he gave her a small kiss. She reciprocated it, but pulled back smiling sadly.
"I'll be there as you friend." She said smiling.
"What if I need more?" he asked.
"Not now…you just need a friend. You aren't capable of holding this…especially not with the tournament" she replied.
"I love you" he blurted out.
She sighed loudly and chuckled somewhat bitterly.
"Please only say that to me when you mean it" she said.
She kissed his bottom lip quickly and pulled back, slipping from his grip.
"Want to go flying?" she said changing the subject.
"What?"
She smiled brightly and he wondered if something was wrong with her.
"Come on, don't you and your friend go flying?" she asked.
"We used to."
"Good, now as a good chap that I am, I am going to take you out flying" she said.
He looked confused, but as she took his hand and pulled him to her he wondered what just had occurred.
"You aren't my girlfriend anymore are you?" he asked.
"No..I'm not. But I'll be your friend" she said.
"Not out of pity?" he said frowning.
"Out of love, now come on" she said.
"I'm sorry" he said softly.
"I know you are… come on you git" she said.
"I royally messed up didn't' I?" he said.
She laughed softly and smirked nodding her head.
"Well don't worry, this was just your first time" she said. "Next time it will be better"
He caught on to her words and smiled. Before she could say anything he tugged her back to make eye contact and his infectious smile clearly confused her.
"You'll give me another chance?" he asked.
She shrugged her cheeks coloring despite her coolness.
"I meant for your next girlfriend, but we'll see about your way of thinking" she said.
"You'll give me another chance" he repeated in a confident tone.
"Sure Hogwarts Champion" she said. "Now come on"
"Don't get another boyfriend, I might kill him" he said.
"Sure Potter" she said.
Both knew she meant it, but neither said anything.
"Can I kiss you?" he asked out of the blue.
As she laughed he smiled once more and wrapped his arm around her waist. He would say that this was the shortest relationship he ever had. But then again this was just their first time. He was determined to have her return to him and be a proper boyfriend the next time. When he blurted out 'I love you' he learned that a part of him actually meant it, and that meant that he wasn't going to give up on her.
She looked up at him confused at his smile, but as he kissed her forehead, she wondered if being his friend was what she wanted. Obviously not, but it was what she would take, and what she would give. She loved him that was simple enough, now their time apart would let her think to just how deep it ran.
Author's Note: Oh hell please don't hate me! D: -hides from all the spells that might be thrown at her- I love you all! I also promise that this is Angel/Harry, I really do, but I have a plan! Q~Q Still love me?