Fourteen

"Are you sure you don't want to do the brief, Lieutenant?" asked the young science officer desperately. "Lieutenant Homer says you were the one who discovered the planet."

"I helped," Victoria smiled flatly and indicated the PADD lying between them. "Read it again, Emma. We have to get going in a few minutes."

"I'm really not comfortable doing this," persisted Emma. "Are you sure? People kill for this chance, you know. The entire bridge crew's coming, and Captain Kirk is really excited about it."

"This is a routine explorer mission, Emma, I'm hardly letting you handle a presentation on Klingon war tactics," Victoria rolled her eyes. "You need to learn, and this is the perfect opportunity."

Emma nodded, still reluctant. As she perused Victoria's detailed notes, Victoria herself scanned through the checklist she had made. The mission was indeed supposed to be routine – they'd encountered a planet soon after Victoria's warning about the asteroid maze, and the preliminary scans had revealed there were no living organisms present, due to the 8.5 magnitude earthquakes that would strike the surface every few hours. Initially, they had decided that was enough evidence to back off, but Lieutenant Homer had noticed a glitch after they'd been monitoring the planet for three days: for every six hours of seismic activity, there would be at least four of relative normalcy. The readings had further been overseen by Spock and a team – Victoria included – and they had come to the reluctant decision that, in those few hours of stability, the planet would be safe for landing. A scouting team had been assembled soon after to go down and collect samples for further analysis, but when Victoria had found out that Jim would be one of the people going down, she had tried very hard not to faint.

Instead, Victoria had thrown herself into preparing a mission brief, trying to keep it as detailed as possible to ensure nothing would catch them off guard. She had picked Ensign Emma Johnson to handle the presentation, since she knew perfectly well she couldn't stand up in front of half the Enterprise and expect to remain under the radar. And Emma was an excellent scientist, with an eye for detail and complete confidence when she was in a lab. But apparently, she had none of those things when it came to public speaking.

"Lieutenant?" Homer poked his head into the lab. "Are you ready to go? The scouts and away team are ready for you."

"Emma, are you ready?" asked Victoria kindly. Emma gulped, but nodded anyway. Standing up, Victoria gathered up her PADD and gestured for the ensign to precede her out the door. As she followed, Homer fell into step beside her.

"You aren't handling the brief?" he asked curiously.

"Nope," Victoria patted her hair to make sure her bun was still in pace, and readjusted her glasses self-consciously. She hadn't been in front of so many people since she'd started on the Enterprise; she was equal parts terrified and almost curious as to how her disguise would play out. "Emma is perfectly capable, and she needs to learn."

"It is pretty routine," Homer shrugged. "It's probably safe to let her learn on something that has less chances of going wrong."

"I agree," they reached the meeting-room, and Victoria inclined her head slightly. "I think I'll sit at the back, make sure Emma doesn't have too many eyes on her so she doesn't get uncomfortable."

"Ah," Homer nodded. "Good plan. I'll sit up front and try to be supportive."

Victoria nodded and headed into the room, passing Hannity, who gave her a grin, and Uhura, who winked. She smiled at both women and headed for the back of the large room, which was set up with a projector and a large desk at one end, and chairs facing it until the other end. She headed for the last row immediately, sinking into a chair and making sure no one was giving her any odd looks. She was slightly relieved when she saw the back of Jim's head seated right at the front, next to someone with a set of distinctly familiar set of broad shoulders. Clearly, Dr. McCoy spent a lot of time in the gym when on the ship.

"Dr. Woodville," came a flat voice from next to her. Victoria jumped as Spock sat down in the seat beside her.

She cleared her throat. "Hello, Commander."

Spock inclined his head slightly. "I have noticed that you chose Ensign Johnson to deliver the mission brief."

"That is correct."

"Do you intend to use this as a learning experience for her?"

He sounded about as accusatory as a Vulcan could get. Victoria immediately felt herself go on the defensive. "It is the least dangerous way to do it, so yes."

"It is an intelligent decision," Victoria was sure she wasn't imagining the slight reluctance in Spock's voice as he complimented her. "Lieutenant Uhura tells me you and she are now acquainted."

Victoria snorted. "Yes, we're friends, Commander."

"You make friends very easily."

"And with that tone, you clearly don't," Victoria gave him a fake smile. "I need to go over my notes for Emma. Excuse me."

She stood up and stomped away, heading for the seat furthest from Spock and closest to the door. Pointedly, she sat down and stared straight ahead, making no move to open any notes like she'd told him. She knew Spock didn't like having her on the ship, but every time he encountered her it was annoying how self-righteous he acted, as if the very fact that he disapproved of her being there acquitted him of all blame, and she should be the one feeling guilty for causing trouble in the first place.

Victoria hated how she thought he was right.

!

"We should reach the planet by tomorrow morning."

Victoria raised her eyebrows. "That sounds like an invitation."

Jim shrugged. "You know you have an open invite, Tori."

Victoria gave him a suspicious look over her forkful of vegetables. "That's nice. What do you want?"

Jim grinned unashamedly and pushed his already empty plate away from him. They were having dinner in her quarters – from the synthesiser, which Victoria despised – and he had been slyly hinting at the coming mission for over an hour. Victoria had dismissed it every time with an indulgent smile. Jim was excited, and she liked how he looked like a child again when he was animated about something. She would gladly discover a hundred planets if it kept him out of the dark mood she'd found him in when they'd met on Yorktown. But she drew the line at accompanying him there.

"I want you to give up this guilt-ridden attitude and come on the mission," said Jim simply.

Victoria narrowed her eyes. "What guilt-ridden attitude?"

"The face you make every time I see you is the face I used to make every time I saw you," Jim rolled his eyes. "I know that look, Tori. It's gratitude. Why the hell are you acting like showing your face anywhere will get me killed?"

"Because it could!" she snapped.

"It won't," he snapped back. "I'll kill that son of a bitch before he gets near this ship or you, Tori. You know that!"

"It isn't that simple," Victoria stood up, her hands shaking as she felt the inexplicable urge to shoot something. She ran a hand through her hair as she turned her back on Jim, looking out the window determinedly. "This is my decision, Jim. I will work on your ship and do all the menial tasks Spock sends my way, I will answer to that well-meaning but incompetent Homer, and I will accept pity invites from you and Hikaru and Nyota, but I will not put you in any more danger than I already have."

Jim sighed. "Tori, we're not –"

"No," she shook her head firmly. "Not this time, kid. Trust me, okay? This is the safest way."

"Is that why Bones can't know?" asked Jim suddenly. "You're afraid you'll put him in danger?"

"Dr. McCoy shouldn't know just like Chekov or Scotty or anyone else shouldn't know," said Victoria evenly. "I barely know the man, Jim."

"You liked him."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Victoria spun around to face him in surprise. "Jim, I'm not sixteen! Whether or not I have feelings for a man is not as important as keeping people alive and you know it. I'm not going to give up everything I've worked so hard for, just for a whirlwind romance. Not again."

Jim sighed. "Okay, you win. Don't come down with us. But promise me you'll think about letting him in on it, Tori. Keeping this secret is killing me."

Victoria bit her lip. "I'm sorry," she offered weakly. "I can't be responsible for any more people, Jim. I've got enough to worry about."

"Okay, don't get sad," and just like the ten-year-old boy he truly was, Jim approached her hastily and gave her a quick hug when he sensed she was getting upset. "Don't worry about it. We'll work it out, okay? Tell me about the planet," he gestured to the PADD on her desk. "You got everything you need?"

Victoria squeezed his arm, appreciating the change of subject. "I'll be watching you like a hawk the whole time."

"Just like old times," Jim grinned.

"What would you do without me?"

Jim snorted. "We never would have realized the planet was nearby without you, Tori."

"No, you probably wouldn't have," smirked Victoria. "But I'm still not coming. I'm a scientist, Jim. Not a dare-devil."

Jim groaned. "Fine. Want to head to the bridge now?"

"I'm telling you now that there is a big chance that the earthquakes could cause more craters to form on the surface," warned Victoria. Gathering up her PADD and a few loose papers with notes on them, she opened the door and led the way towards the bridge. "I told Homer that, but he calculated that if we land within the week we might be able to avoid the worst of them. I still think it's a bad idea for you to go down first."

"I can't send my scouts down and expect them to die for me," said Jim, in a tone that made Victoria bite her lip. "I know you think Homer's an idiot, Tori, but he's pretty good with numbers. We should be okay."

"I still want Spock to take a look at the new numbers, Jim."

"His statistics only freak everyone out," dismissed Jim. "You're becoming too paranoid."

"I just –"

"Tori," his voice was gentler now. "Don't worry, okay? I'm not a kid anymore."

Victoria huffed. "You will always be a kid, Jim."

"Only to you," playfully, he tugged on a loose tendril of her hair. "Don't sweat it, okay? I'll answer all your comms faithfully."

"If there's a major earthquake you won't be able to get a signal!"

"Then I bet you'll be relieved when I do answer," Jim winked. They entered the turbolift and shot upwards. Victoria tapped her fingers against the screen of her PADD nervously, but the bridge was too busy for anyone to pay her much attention. Even Chekov, who always kept an eye out for Jim's entrance onto the bridge, didn't notice them until Jim had sat down on his chair.

"Captain on the bridge!" he shouted out over the din, but only a few people seemed to hear him. Victoria made her way to where Spock was examining the latest readings from the planet, nodding at his greeting as he began to explain the various radiation points and what he wanted her to watch out for while he was gone.

"Your concern for our safety is quite obvious, Doctor," he said finally, when he saw that Victoria's incessant tapping was not stopping anytime soon. "I would suggest you keep it to a minimum so the rest of the away team does not think we are leading them to their deaths."

"I have faith that none of you will die, Commander," said Victoria immediately. She winced at how unconvincing she sounded. "Not on my watch, at least. But if you could just take a look at the numbers –"

"Lieutenant Homer has informed me that he has rechecked them twice, and everything seems to point to a safe landing and departure," interrupted Spock, and his tone made Victoria narrow her eyes. "Please see to your designated tasks, Lieutenant."

The shift from "Doctor" to her rank – which made Spock her superior and thus made any orders he gave her sound all the more important – did not go unnoticed by Victoria. She folded her arms across her chest. "Okay, Commander, let's get one thing straight. Having me on the ship freaks you out, doesn't it?"

Spock didn't even bat an eye. "I do not believe I have ever said that, Doctor."

"Save it for someone who actually believes it," cut in Victoria. "You're scared shitless because my being here could put you all in danger, and don't think I don't know that. I am doing everything in my power to ensure you are all safe, but I would appreciate it if you stopped punishing me for being here."

"I am allowing you to work in my department with a good deal of freedom," said Spock coldly. "I would not say that counts as punishment."

Victoria snorted. "You're letting me tinker around with assignments that are so below my level of intelligence it is insulting. I predicted the asteroid maze, I identified the location of the planet, but even now I'm referring to your judgement on the seismic readings because I don't trust Homer and I think you're smarter than him."

"Everyone on this ship thinks I am smart, Lieutenant, that does not mean I double-check the work of everyone in every department."

Victoria threw her hands up in exasperation. "You know what? Fine. When an earthquake hits and you're all stuck under god only knows how many tonnes of rubble, then don't complain."

"There will be no time for complaining as the rubble would crush our skulls upon impact, Lieutenant."

Victoria almost spat in her rage as Spock walked away from her.