"What the hell do you mean I'm not going?!"

"Stop shouting, idiot," Laxus grumbled, sticking a pinkie in his ear. "You're giving me a headache."

"You can't be serious!" Natsu slammed his hands against Laxus' desk. Pens and stationary rattled on the polished-wood surface. "After all the dark guilds I've destroyed, you seriously expect me to sit this one out?"

"We were there too, you know." Happy mumbled. The small cat looked up at Lucy, but her attention was somewhere else, outside the walls of the guild.

Gray's confrontation with them had been efficiently cut short, but his arcane oath had followed her. His intensity had betrayed his worry, Lucy could see that. Gray cared deeply for Natsu, a fondness that transcended the bonds of friendship and tip-toed into the realm of brotherhood—though, admittedly, he had a funny way of showing it. This didn't help Lucy feel better, knowing that Gray had been dragged into their problem with or without good intentions. He had fought so hard three years ago, simultaneous battlefields raging in his home and in his soul. As much as his ice was a tool that had molded itself in Gray's practiced fist, he learned that there were limits to his power over the cold. To fall past his boundaries, to fall into the depthless vacuum of frozen darkness was only the first step into a much deeper, hungrier world of potential. Gray had reached farther than ever before during the war, unlocking hidden doors with the key of his father's last gift.

But to cross the threshold of what a man could wield with just the strength of his heart wasn't enough. Gray had to become... something else.

Lucy didn't want to put him through that again.

"You were able to use your magic back then," Freed said with a frown. He and Mira stood by Laxus, framing him in almost the same way as the grotesque that framed the doors of Kardia Cathedral. "Putting you in a situation where you would be forced to with your... circumstances, is out of the question."

Natsu growled. "You don't think I can control myself, don't you?"

"Natsu, please," Mira spoke softly, her eyes desperate. "I know how you feel, but we just can't take the risk of someone getting hurt."

"If you seriously think I would let that happen-"

"It's already happened before. Or did you forget?" Laxus bit, tone lashing. Natsu recoiled, his eyes flashing with shame. "You almost killed Lucy. If even she isn't safe from E.N.D., then no one is."

Lucy had heard enough. Her own anger flared, spurring her to her feet. "He saved my life, Laxus—and the life of a civilian. Don't act like that doesn't mean anything."

"The Leviathan was causing the problems, not Natsu," Happy crawled up Lucy's back to her shoulder, shooting a dark look at the Guild Master. "It's not fair to blame him for what happened!"

A warm touch of gratitude on Lucy's hand, Natsu's own way of showing thanks. But Laxus shook his head.

"Look, I understand that you want to help." Laxus rubbed his temple. "We all do. What happened to Sabertooth has everyone on edge, not just our guild. But something isn't right with this whole mess—Ruby Manticore has been a bottom-feeding guild for years, but suddenly they have the power and the members to hold up to Sting and Rogue? That's just strange. I don't know if it has anything to do with books or demons or what, and there's a good chance it doesn't. But for now, I want you to stay away from any situations that are less than transparent. For the time being."

"I'm tired of sitting on my ass." Natsu sneered. "At some point, I'm going to have to use my magic, and we're going to have to deal with what does or doesn't happen. Would you rather I do that here in Magnolia, or in a dark guild's hall?"

Laxus stared up at Natsu, leering at him as the other dragon slayer narrowed his eyes. He did have a point; Natsu without his magic was a terrible inconvenience, and they couldn't keep putting off the problem. While the dragon slayer wasn't vital to this mission, he was an asset. But with Natsu's current predicament, it came down to weighing the risks of two very unfavorable outcomes—Ruby Manticore seeking vengeance if the mission failed, or E.N.D. being released on the world once more. One seemed more likely than the other, thus the final decision.

"We will address your issue soon. I promise," Laxus sighed. There was darkness beneath his eyes, too, an exhaustion so deep seated within the wrinkles of the master's face. "Porlyusica is working on something right now. But we can't wait till she's finished. The team heads out tomorrow. As much of a pain I know this is for you, you will not be going with them. That's final."

Natsu was silent, trembling with doubt on his bared teeth. Lucy reached up a hand, quiet and succoring—but Natsu spun away from her touch and kicked his chair. The seat slid across the floor and slammed into the wall, shattering apart at the joints. With that, he stormed out of the office, leaving everyone with an uneasy feeling of guilt. Laxus sighed once more as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Just when I think things couldn't get any more complicated."

"You mustn't blame yourself, Master," Freed gripped his shoulder, squeezing strength and reassurance into his friend. "You knew this wasn't going to be easy, but you made the right call. We can't possibly imagine what he's going through."

"I know, I know." Laxus looked up over his knuckles at Lucy and Happy. "But you probably can, right? You we're there, three years ago. You're probably as upset about this as he is."

Lucy huffed through her nose. "It bothers him more than he lets on. I think he would have loved this opportunity to prove that he's not the demon we all seem to think he is. He probably doesn't like the idea of me going on a mission without him, either."

"I'm worried about Natsu," Laxus said after a moment of silence. "But he won't listen to me. Do you think you could talk to him?"

Lucy gazed at the Master for a beat, judgment drifting in her eyes. "I understand where your decision is coming from, but I don't fully agree with it. You fear E.N.D. more than you trust Natsu, and you shouldn't. You know he would never hurt anybody. But… yes, I will talk to him."

"Thank you." He deflated, as if the relief that weighed into his words had popped a hole in his stoic façade. "If it helps, tell him that Elfman and Alzac have volunteered to help with the job. Maybe that'll set him at ease."

"Aye, we'll tell him," Happy said as he and Lucy turned to go.

They exited Laxus' suite. Natsu was gone. He had probably left the guild already—she knew he wanted to be alone when he was upset or frustrated. In the moments where his thoughts roared through his mind, he preferred quiet and isolation. He needed to blow off steam, then he would come back. He always came back.

The team for the mission, plus Elfman and Alzac, had gathered together in a hushed corner of the hall. A few other members clustered around them, those who knew anything about Ruby Manticore coming forward with information regarding their whereabouts, size, and other bits of information that had been picked up. Most of it was based on rumors, but it was all they had for now. Levy had dug through the library in the basement, pouring over her book finds with Wendy's and Juvia's assistance. Gray, Gajeel, and Erza had a map spread out on the table, strategizing, trying to triangulate a location. They all moved in tandem with each other, each action focused and maintained, every word heard and calculated.

Lucy frowned, unable to ignore the missing piece—Natsu had every right to be here with them. It was unfair. Everything seemed to be happening all at once. The stress over the past couple of days was starting to take its toll.

"He's gonna be okay, Lucy," Happy said from her side. Lucy looked down at the little blue cat, meeting his smile. "He's Natsu, after all."

Lucy sighed, trying to remember her own resolve, and her faith in him. Nodding at Happy, they made their way over to join the planning party. She needed to take her own advice, and believe in Natsu. Even when he couldn't believe in himself.

Natsu was not the type of person to hold grudges. He challenged people to rematches, sure, though that was mostly all in good fun. He was a passionate man, but he lived by the saying of "forgive and forget". There had been one or two notable exceptions to that over the years, and in the present Natsu could count the number of real enemies he had on one hand. He was not an angry person, usually saw the silver-linings in life, understood that things didn't always go his way, and accepted the things he couldn't change.

But not this time.

Natsu kicked a stone roughly as he stomped through the streets of Magnolia. Hands shoved deep into his pockets, his feet carried him forward to no destination that he was aware of while his mind worked a jumbled mess of the things he knew and the things he wanted to forget. The howling wind had driven the people of Magnolia from the sidewalks, leaving the dragon slayer to walk the barren road with nothing but his own worries for company. The wind whipped his hair into his face, stinging his ears with cold and needles. His jaw worked a steady rhythm back and forth, grinding through frustration and anger. He knew it would probably ache later, but he really didn't care.

"-we just can't take the risk of someone getting hurt."

Natsu had wanted to snap at Mirajane for saying that, to yell at her for the mere implication that he could ever hurt anybody. But she would know, wouldn't she? Mira wasn't a stranger to the volatile urges of darker forces, the painted glasses that made all bad decisions seem like the right ones. What kinship he and Mira shared stopped there, though. They were not the same. Her darkness came from somewhere else, whether taken or given or unwillingly stolen. But him... he was his own darkness, something that stained him from within since a past life he couldn't remember.

Natsu wasn't sure which one was worse.

"What if the next demon that awakens is you?"

"That's not going to happen." The words slipped between clenched teeth, tasting like metal and hurt.

They didn't think he could use his magic, that he couldn't stay in control. For all he knew, this was nothing but conjecture and conspiracy. Natsu had no idea what broke the glass in the first place, whether it was the Leviathan, his flame, or something else entirely. Why did it even matter? Did Laxus really expect him to just sit idly by as his fiancé walked into danger? Lucy was strong and steadfast, and he knew she would have great back up—his friends were durable, more than capable of keeping her safe. That didn't chase away the cold doubt and uncertainty clutching at his chest. If anything ever happened to her… Natsu huffed a sigh through his nose, warm air washing over his lips and cheeks, only to be snatched away by the wind.

He had brought himself back, with Lucy's help. He could do it again. He could protect her and everyone else.

The stone skittered several feet ahead of him, jumping unevenly across the cobblestones. A particular bounce must have hit the stone's sweet spot, and it split in two on the road. Rolling his eyes, Natsu abandoned the broken rock and kept trudging through town. He was almost at the edge of Magnolia, on the western slope that faded into the mountains. The estuary for River Grevillea was around here somewhere, feeding from Jasmine Lake out of the Protea Mountains nearby.

Natsu rubbed a hot hand down his face, trying to relax his jaw. With an absurd amount of reluctance, Natsu could admit that he understood Laxus' uncertainties. Though they had been separated for the majority of the war, Natsu knew that Laxus had faced his own share of Zeref's demons. Those encounters had left their scars. Both dragon slayers knew how dangerous the etherious could be—he could feel his own knocking on the glass, even now. But all the same, when push came to shove, were they just going to toss him in a corner? Sweep him under the rug and pretend nothing was wrong? Experience had taught him that the only way anybody could know anything for sure was by doing.

Natsu stopped in his tracks. His scarf fluttered around him in the wind, snapping and twisting like a snake.

He could do it, he thought. Looking up to the sky, he squinted against the sun and its rainbow collars. Natsu could give his magic a test right now, and finally answer the question as to what would happen. Then he could prove to Laxus that he was more than capable of carrying out this mission—or prove Laxus right, which wasn't ideal, but at least Natsu would know that his worries were sound. These were his matters, he had to take them in his own hands if he wanted to know anything for certain.

But, then again... he didn't know, maybe it was a bad idea. Out on the sea, Natsu had been alone, far away from any town or village that would get caught up in his shockwave. He was home now, a city, an innocent community, and his guild all in one place and so easy to burn to the ground. Should he take that chance for his own sake, what room for error did that leave him? Natsu looked up to the leaning sandstone buildings around him. On one side of the street, a row of shops ranging from boutique to antique to haberdashery to patisserie, and on the other side, and open park with a glittering jade pond.

If there was the slightest possibility this would all be destroyed because of his actions, then it was clear what he should do.

Yeah... yeah, he definitely wasn't going to-

"Screw this," Natsu cursed, forcing himself to stop thinking as he took off at a jog. He needed to be alone when he did this, regardless of the outcome, and Natsu knew the perfect little isolated spot. Following the estuary upstream, Natsu sprinted into the woods.

It took about ten minutes to run up to the large lake to the west of Magnolia, Jasmine Lake. The blue waters glowed an ethereal turquoise in the glare of the sun, small waves crashing on the muddy banks in the rushing wind. One side of the lake carved into the Lilac Forest, the trees growing tall and sturdy to the edge of the water. The other side was nearly bare of fauna, though, crystalized in small shores of fine sand. On a beautiful day, it was a popular picnic spot for the people of Magnolia. Now it was empty in the threat of the coming storm. Natsu stepped onto the vacant beach, the light sting of blustering sand against his ankles. From here, he could see the thunderheads rolling in over the mountains. The storm would probably be upon them by nightfall. Plenty of time.

The air of the lake and mountains was cool on his tongue, in his nose, in his lungs, the faint beginnings of petrichor carried on the breeze. His anticipation spiked, a thrumming in his veins the black magic copied as it pulsed with his heart. It knew what he intended to do, it seemed, preparing—or maybe that was just in his head. Natsu shook himself, wriggling the jitters from his arms and spine. Either way, he wasn't turning back now.

The fire burning in his gut rose to his summon, flaring brighter at the source in his stomach. Familiar strength fell over Natsu like a cloak, draping down his shoulders and back. A shuddering sigh fell from his teeth, the warmth building in his hands. He could feel the pressure in the air change around him, rising temperatures disrupting the turbulent wind for a moment. It was like stepping into the sauna of a bathhouse; an encompassing heat that curled through his hair and seeped through the pores of his skin. To anyone else, it bordered on the edge of uncomfortable. But for Natsu, it was the start of bliss.

Raising a hand, Natsu spread his fingers and held his breath. Sparks leapt across his palm, like tiny lightning bugs captured in his grasp. A kick, a turnover, and finally a fire sprang to life, flames dancing in the breeze and licking over his fingers and knuckles. Natsu stared at the small fire for a beat, briefly captivated. Even in the glare of the sun, the handful of flames blared brightly, white and orange and yellow and all the unnamed colors found in the heart of an exploding star... and there, at the zenith of the combustion, a touch of green. His palm smoldered a bright cherry red, like iron in a forge.

No black.

Here, Natsu paused, consciously noting the inner channels of his being, the way his gut circulated the furnace of his magic like a spiraling centrifuge. That same sauna-hot feeling radiating from the marrow of his bones, from the core below his ribs. There, in the space behind his heart, a fractured window and beyond it a darkness that pressed into the glass, something desperate and starving for warmth and power—but still contained, a firewall separating the gap between what was familiar and what was devastating.

He felt fine.

Natsu smiled, a single laugh bordering on manic huffing from his teeth. The relief he felt betrayed his worry.

"Alright," Natsu whispered, tongue wetting his lips. "Time to see what I can do."

His body coiled, a practiced habit he didn't even need to think about. The small flame in his palm flared and roared, growing into a bonfire as Natsu doused his magic onto the blaze. It felt good to clench his fist around the flames, to take hold of their embers and pulsing hearts that he could almost feel like ghosts struggling in his grasp. Pressure mounted under his knuckles, kicking and jumping as if he were trying to hold onto a comet. His body surged, following the momentum of potential energy from his feet and into his fist, and the release of it all exploded from him in a burst of light. Over the surface of the lake, the fireball cut a wake of steam and mist. The roaring flames carried a hundred feet over the water, dissipating in a brilliant flurry.

Spinning on one heel, Natsu squared off with a small, unfortunate tree that had decided to grow on the beach.

Delicate green deciduous leaves, smooth bark and budding yellow spring flowers—all helpless under his burning blow. The wood of the trunk charred, crumbling beneath Natsu's knuckles. A twinge of pain, a sharp complaint from his bruised shoulder, but nothing more. Now sporting a sizeable divot in its trunk, the tree cracked and splintered, toppling to the ground with a loud crash and puff of smoke. Small tongues of fire licked at the wood, flickering turbulently in the wind. Oh, it felt so good to hit something, to beat a tangible thing with his frustration and worries and feeling the ache soaking out of him.

Facing the lake once more, Natsu squared his feet and inhaled deeply, expanding his lungs angst the strain of his ribs. He could feel the ignition in his chest, feel the build-up of so many sparks catching each other like a chain of explosions. Beneath the intensity, the window shuddered—the etherious trembled.

A pillar of fire beamed from his throat, climbing high into the sky, sharp and bright like his teeth. The flames soared, flaring bright against the wind, darkening the land around him. For a moment, the wind over the lake was quelled, driven away by heat and rising air pressure. His ribs strained against the vacuum in his lungs, pushing the last of the inferno from his chest. Natsu gasped, residual heat warming his throat. Bracing his hands against his knees, he huffed desperate air for a moment. As his body settled once more with the taste of nitrogen on his tongue, the wind picked up again, howling around him.

Falling into his magic, Natsu relaxed, allowing his flames to spread. The fire jumped, traveling up his arms and across his shoulders. Natsu shivered, closing his eyes. Euphoria hit his core as the warmth engulfed him like his favorite blanket. For a small eternity, he bathed in the flames, relishing the power. It was only in moments like these when Natsu could truly feel Igneel's presence, a comforting ache in his bones that hurt as it healed.

Reluctantly, Natsu released the magic. It did not flicker out all at once, didn't snuff out in the wind. He stood tall, heart racing and blood pumping as remnants of wildfire lingered for a while, dancing as fading flames on his hands. He could feel himself coming down from the high of elevated control, and once again he turned inward.

Seconds passed, stretching into minutes. Even as the fire continued to withdraw and diminish back within the burning pool of his soul, leaving behind a fuzzy buzz as it did... nothing changed. He could feel the etherious abate too, quelled and dwindling with little more than a dull ache of vacant space.

"Oh yeah," Natsu chuckled, watching the last of the flames go out in his palm. "Take that, Laxus."

The darkness surged. The glass broke.

Lucy cradled her mug of tea, sitting alone at on the sofa in the living room of her home. The herbal scent of mint and chamomile drifted up to her nose and the warmth of the cup was soothing… but she had barely taken more than a sip of it, a deep-seated worry sitting heavy in her chest.

When she and Happy had finally come home, they were met with a letter from Master Bob of Blue Pegasus saying that they would love to make Natsu's suit for the wedding, and that he could come in for a fitting whenever he was ready. The paper was scented with tulips, and sealed with a kiss. The groom in question, however, had not been home. The storm had arrived, the intimidating gray clouds darkening the day till it almost seemed as if night had come early. That had been almost two hours ago, and now it was raining violently, a roar of staccatos from their tiled roof drowning out her thoughts. Lucy and Happy had opted to wait and see if he would get home on his own. But as the thunder rattled the windows on the house, Lucy regretted not taking the chance to find him sooner.

The mission planning had ended on a less-than-satisfactory note. Since all they had to go off of was rumors and some vague official records Levy had found in the Library, they had been able to triangulate a position for what they hoped was the Ruby Manticore headquarters, and not just one of the outposts that were said to be all over Fiore. The trip out to the spot—located somewhere within the Juniper Hills in the south west region of the kindgom—would take about a day, and from there it was difficult to say exactly what they were going to do next. Five hours of research and planning, and the best they could do was wing it. Didn't really inspire a lot of confidence, but Erza was hopeful.

Gray had approached Lucy, like she knew he would. Showing a bit more care with her than he had with Natsu, it was conveyed to Lucy that Gray was simply concerned, and that he really wasn't trying to accuse Natsu or Lucy of anything. Lucy, though she understood where he was coming from, had all but begged Gray to wait, promising that she would provide an explanation when she could. He was unsatisfied with that answer, and she couldn't blame him for that—but he trusted Lucy, so he and Juvia parted ways with her, heading home along with everyone else as the first raindrops began to fall.

It wasn't fair to Gray, she thought to herself for the umpteenth time. Wasn't fair to Natsu, either. Lucy would never admit it, but the selfish part of her would spit and say what about her? How were they supposed to get married like this?

Those thoughts made Lucy cringe, honestly. She knew that if she ever went down the bridezilla path, her friends would wish for E.N.D.'s return, just to have something that they could handle.

"I'm sure he'll be okay," Happy called down from his nest in the tree, stirring Lucy from her thoughts. "He probably fell asleep somewhere."

Lucy smiled at the cat. "I'd be very impressed and a little concerned if he was able to sleep through this… but I just can't shake the feeling that something must have happened."

"Aye, me too," Happy sighed. He turned to look out the window. "I won't be able to fly in this storm… otherwise I'd be out there looking for him."

Lucy nodded, took a deep breath, and stood from her seat with her mug left untouched.

"Alright, I guess I'll just have to go out there and find him." Lucy was already zipping up one of her boots as she spoke.

"Do you even know where to start?"

"Not really, but I'll start at the guild. It'll pretty much be guess and check from there." She shrugged. "He couldn't have gone far, otherwise he'd tell us, right?"

Happy frowned, but didn't say anything. He didn't have to. Lucy twirled her rain jacket around her, zipped up the coat to her chin, and headed for the front door, giving a salute to Happy.

"Alright, wish me luck!" Lucy put her hood up. "If I'm not back in an hour, remember I want pink roses at my funeral."

The door burst open before her hand, the handle and hinges jumping on the frame, gusts of wind and rain bursting into the house. Lucy flinched back, the photograph flash of lightning imprinting on the back of her eyes, illuminating the silhouette of person in the doorway. As she peered through the rain and darkness, her shock quickly turned to relief.

"Where the hell have you been?" Lucy stepped back. Natsu trudged into the house, dripping wet and leaving a growing trail of cold water. Closing the door behind him, the cacophony of the storm cut to a dull roar. He hadn't answered. "Well?"

Then she noticed the holes in his clothes, the edges singed with black char and diluted soot coating his skin beneath. Lucy tried not to let her thoughts rush so quickly to what she knew was true: he had used his magic. Natsu had only taken a few stumbling steps into their home before he keeled forward, catching himself on his knees. His breathing—ragged, quick, desperate, like he had run for his life—rivaled the tumultuous rain on their roof. He was trembling, she noticed. Happy fluttered down to her side, following her cautious approach.

"Natsu," Lucy spoke slowly and quietly. "What happened?"

He didn't respond, shivering where he stood as water dripped from his soaked form onto the floor. Lucy stepped into his space, ducking her face into his line of sight. Her heart flinched, worry and fear already planting seeds in her stomach.

No sooner had she seen his eyes—wide, frantic, but definitely his—did he sweep her into his arms, lifting her off her feet and gushing the air from her lungs. He held her tightly for a long beat, like he was trying to drink in the touch of her against him. His chest expanded against hers, loosed in a shaky moan that toed the line between pleasure and pain moments later. Lucy peered over her shoulder to Happy. The blue exceed just shrugged.

"Hey, are you okay?" She asked again, tone soft. She managed to force her hands up between them, planted firmly on his chest. He set her down as she pushed him back to look at him. "Why are you shaking?"

He stared at her, unblinking. Something that Lucy couldn't quite pin down lurked there in his gaze; felicity, but maybe also fear. She was going to ask again when he leaned in quickly and kissed her. Though his lips were wet and cold, his breath was warm. Tenderly, Natsu's hand found the back of her head, deepening the kiss as he slanted his lips to hers. Lucy, though confused, followed the gesture, following him as he pulled back and kissed her again. Beneath his ruined wardrobe, she could feel how tense and knotted his muscles were. For a few moments, Natsu and Lucy stayed in their own world, a small puddle growing on the floor. Lucy broke away from him, gazing up into his face and hoping her concern wasn't so evident on her face. Natsu chased her lips, lingering in that calm world of theirs a beat longer, then opened his eyes.

His body heaved under her hands, and all at once his face dropped into despair—the remorseful arch of his eyebrows, the panicked frown on his lips. Lucy's heart sank.

Natsu finally spoke. "I have to tell you something."

A/N: Thank you for the reviews! All the names for landmarks are made up, but keeps with the theme of being named after flowers.

EDIT: This chapter has been edited for grammar and content 6/23.

As always, read, review, and enjoy!