"All right!" Barry announced. "I finally get a chance to battle Ash Ketchum!"

He pointed at Ash. "And if I win, you owe me a million Poké!"

"Huh?" Ash replied, baffled. "Why? Is that one of the rules? I thought I'd read all of them."

"What?" Barry said. "No, it's not in the rules. Not the League rules anyway. It's the Barry rules! The Barry rules are that I say things and people have to do them, unless I forget or they forget or they say they forget. Dad makes me add those last bits because he said otherwise we'd owe each other eight hundred and forty three million, two hundred and ten thousand Poké by now."

He frowned. "Which, actually, sounds like he does remember… anyway, I know I'm probably not going to win, but that's not the point! The point is for two trainers to do their very best and find out which one is better!"

The referee, who'd already done all of Barry's previous battles, checked his watch. "We need to start soon," he reminded Barry.

"Oh, right," the boy realized. "Okay, pick your first Pokémon! And by that I mean the first Pokémon you're using, not your starter Pokémon or the first Pokémon you met or something like that. They don't have to be the same."

Ash held up a Pokéball, and the referee waited for Barry to do the same before telling them to send them both out at once.

Barry's Empoleon landed on the field with a flash, and bowed to his opponent.

"I hope we have a good battle," he said.

"Of course we will!" Torkoal replied, firmly. "And I swear I will defeat you! If not, I will do a thousand press-ups!"

Empoleon blinked. "What? Why would you say something like that?"

Torkoal stood up on his hind legs, then folded his forelegs. "This is a challenge against Grovyle, my eternal rival! I have sworn my honour to defeat my hip and cool rival in any challenge, or I must suffer a forfeit!"

"But I'm not Grovyle," Empoleon said, stating the obvious. "I'm an Empoleon."

"You're a penguin, that's cool," Torkoal replied. "And you're bird hipped."

Empoleon sighed. "What am I getting myself into today…"

Then he frowned. "Also, that's not even what bird hipped means. It means having a hip like a bird."

"Which you do!" Torkoal said. "Your hip is extremely similar to the hip of a Prinplup."

Empoleon peered closer. "You appear to be… actually, looking at you now you should already have overbalanced… wait, can you fly? I'm a bird and I don't get to fly."

"Empoleon!" Barry called. "Open with a Water attack!"

"Narrow it down a little, why don't you?" Empoleon invited, then flipped up a wing to point at Torkoal.

The referee called for them to begin, and Empoleon used Hydro Pump.

"So Torkoal, now, Torkoal is neat," Mew said, happily. "He's a ninja. On a technicality. And he's a big believer in the value of hard work, because with hard work you can improve, so therefore with enough hard work you can do anything."

Next to her, Maylene watched as Torkoal spun Empoleon around by a flipper and then threw him into the ground.

"So I can see," she agreed, as Empoleon used Steel Wing to deflect a wave of air pressure that Torkoal flung down at him. "Was that punch… shaped like an Arcanine?"

"It's an interesting style, Ash has, switching out so often," Cynthia commented. "Some trainers leave their Pokémon out until they're defeated, but I rarely see someone who takes it to the opposite extreme as much as Ash does."

"It's because he likes to give everyone a chance," Dawn said. "I know that he does tend to treat the Dragonite Kingdom collectively, a bit, but that's because there's so many of them and he doesn't want to just be Lance."

Cynthia laughed. "Most people are much more likely to want to be Lance, and far less likely to get the chance," she said. "Hmm, so what Pokémon is he using next?"

Ash had got out a Moon Ball, and was talking to it, and as he did so Latias appeared next to Dawn with a shimmer.

"Latias!" Latios said, not appearing and thus doing so without a shimmer. "We're supposed to remain hidden!"

"Do you mean in general, or specifically here?" Latias asked. "Because if you mean generally, then I think that ship has sailed, and if you mean specifically then I don't see the problem with me being in the room."

She stuck her tongue out at the presumed location of her brother. "I know it's for Gym Leaders, Elite Four members and Champions only, but I'm a champion in at least two online game ranking ladders. So there!"

"I know this is very much the wrong thing to focus on," Roark apologized. "But that's actually quite impressive."

"It's less impressive if you know she got Mew to put servers back online for games which she still likes but which aren't around any more," Latios said, giving up on the hiding thing and appearing out of nowhere himself. "Mew's done his best, but people know the games aren't around so they don't try to connect. There's only about half a dozen people on the ladder of one of them, and the other's not much more populated."

"Still counts!" Latias replied.

"This is a long pep talk," Stantler noted. "It's a pity we can't hear what's being said."

"Oh, yeah, that reminds me!" Latias added. "I know exactly what Pokémon he's using next."

"So do I!" Whitney agreed. "He's only got two Moon Balls, and Latias and Latios use one so it's the other. It's a giant Pokémon!"

"A giant Pokémon?" Flint repeated. "How giant are we talking?"

"I'll handle this," Latias said, jumping back in to give the explanation. "Well, so, firstly, imagine a Cresselia."

"Those aren't small Pokémon," Flint admitted.

"Now, what size Cresselia are you imagining?" Latias went on. "Is it normal size for a Cresselia?"

"I don't actually know how big a Cresselia is on a day to day basis," Flint said. "I know they're Legendaries, but not some of the huge ones like Dialga or Lugia or whatever… not counting Ash's Lugia who's small, I know, Whitney already mentioned him twice."

"Right, but you have a general idea of how big a Cresselia is," Latias said, nodding. "Well… bigger."

Ash sent out Cresselia, who was indeed as advertised.

"That was the most unhelpful help I've heard in a long time," Lucian said, approvingly. "You should be proud."

"Thanks, I think," Latias replied.

"Is there some sort of rule about how many Legendary Pokémon someone can battle with in the same round?" Barry asked. "Heracross, use Megahorn!"

Heracross used Megahorn, but by now his heart wasn't in it and his horn was only in it on a technicality.

"Because I don't think your Cresselia is technically battling, by some ways of thinking about it," Barry continued. "Is that the trick? I've heard there's usually a trick to this sort of thing and that seems like a good example of what a trick would be like."

"Nope!" Ash called back. "Cresselia is battling, but she doesn't believe in attacks."

"I believe in attacks," Cresselia replied, as a Thunderpunch hit her. "I just think that attacks shouldn't believe in me."

She adjusted her hold item, specifically by turning a page. "Moonlight. Huh, really? Hadn't expected him to be the villain..."

Heracross collapsed on the ground, panting, and Barry frowned and rubbed his chin. "Hmm… okay, Heracross, come on back! I've got a new plan!"

His Heracross gratefully vanished, replaced by a Roserade, and Barry pointed. "Leech Seed and Toxic at the same time!"

"Well, he's clearly picked up some tips from his father," Cynthia observed, as Barry's Roserade finally overcame Cresselia's relentless stall tactics. "He's also clearly not picked up the focus to always remember them…"

"Barry is Barry," Dawn said. "He's… honestly, it's a bit hard to find the words. Usually because he's used them all."

She frowned. "I actually wonder if he needs to try a lower sugar diet… anyway, Ash is going to have to send out another Pokémon. I wonder who he'll pick?"

Some minutes later, Barry sent out his Staraptor.

"I fully believe in this last one!" he said. "I have no reason to freak out!"

Ash called back Croconaw, and switched to Lokoko.

"Okay, maybe I have a reason to freak out," Barry corrected himself. "That's one of the illusionist Pokémon, so… maybe that's not actually Ninetales? Maybe that's actually Zacian, I heard that she can use illusions, and they're both four-legged Pokémon so that would make one pretending to be the other easier."

He scratched his head. "Or maybe that's just what he wants me to think, and it's actually that Noctowl, because he can use illusions too and you'd miss if you aimed for a four-legged Pokémon and it was actually a flying one. Oh, only, once that was revealed it'd make it fairly easy for Staraptor to fly up and actually fight Noctowl…"

Staraptor hovered as he waited for instructions.

"Wait, no, it could be that Zorua," Barry guessed. "Or that other Zorua? I don't know if the other Zorua can do illusions, but that's exactly the kind of thing you'd want to keep secret for just this situation… but maybe that means that Pikachu can do illusions as well and that's actually Pikachu and the one on his shoulder is Mew? Or Zorua."

Staraptor rolled his eyes. "Sorry about the delay."

Lokoko shrugged, amusement glittering in her eyes.

"But what about if this is a Latias or a Latios?" Barry pondered. "But then again, there's no real proof I know all of Ash's Pokémon, so this could be one that can make illusions or disguise itself without my even knowing that that's something they can do. Or-"

Staraptor turned around and slapped his trainer with the feathery trailing edge of his wing.

"Right, right," Barry said. "I guess I'll just have to! Guess, I mean. Hyper Beam!"

Staraptor used Hyper Beam, which blew a hole in the ground and revealed that Lokoko wasn't there.

"Wait, new idea!" Barry decided. "Feather Dance and Hurricane!"

The Flying-type used neither move, instead turning around and glaring at his trainer. "I don't know either of those moves!"

"Sand Attack and Gust, then!" Barry decided, and Staraptor promptly did that. "And look at the sand – there!"

He pointed, Staraptor used Hyper Beam again, and Lokoko dodged clear taking only a glancing hit – though the Flying-type swept his beam across, trying to catch her.

"Solar Blade!" Ash called. "All nine, form a crossed-blade shield!"

"So… does he owe you a lot of money now?" Pikachu asked, once the battle was over. "Because he certainly insisted that you would if he won."

Ash shrugged. "I don't really get how that kind of thing works...

AN:

Ash might be independently wealthy by now, but whether he's noticed is a different matter.