Chapter 5

Can you hold your breath?

Trigger warning: This chapter may not be suitable for all readers, it contains mentions of abuse and PTSD. Please feel free to skip this chapter if you would like.

She couldn't see in front of her, her vision blurred by tears. Lucy ran up the stairs, she just kept running, she didn't even know where to. She was in flight mode, in a matter of moments Lucy burst through the doors to the roof. She stood there, fear twisting her heart and stomach into knots, her breath was ragged but she couldn't tell if it was from fear or from all the running. Since she had no where to run, she hid. She hid behind an electricity box, crouched over, hugging her knees to her chest.

"How was he here?" Her brain swirled with thoughts till she was dizzy. She rocked herself back and forth as she tried to sooth herself, but there was no comforting her. Memories from that night years ago bubbled up from the darkest depths of her mind, it replayed in her head over and over again. She wasn't even present anymore, she was back in her pasts self mind, facing Laxus, screaming at him. She saw him snap. She felt the air in the room suffocate her as she relived the pain of that terrible night again. She clawed at her neck and back, screaming stop at no one.

That was until someone burst through the door of the roof. First it was just Natsu, but the entire group burst through the door in tow. Everyone looked around… they didn't see her, but they could hear her.

The sounds of the most agonizing screams pierced their ears. Natsu saw the electric box, it was the only place she could be. He ran to it and just stared.

Curled in on herself was his Lucy, her neck was bright red as she attempted to rip the skin off it. He looked at her eyes, but she wasn't there, not mentally. Her soul had travelled back, and someone had to pull her out.

Levy was the first to follow Natsu, she demanded the group wait downstairs until they figured out what was wrong with Lucy. If it had been Levy crying like this, she wouldn't have wanted all her friends to see her in that state. Levy rushed to Lucy's side as Natsu stood there in disbelief. She attempted to pull Lucy's hands off her own neck, but it was useless, Levy wasn't strong enough. She tried to hug Lucy, whispering soft words into her ear. But that only set her off more.

"Please! Pl-Please stop! I'm sorry. I-I'm so sorry. Get away from me." Lucy screamed. She pushed Levy off of her. Levy looked at her friend with a pained expression, she didn't even know how to help her. She was forced to just sit there was watch as Lucy suffered, trapped in the cage of her own mind.

Finally, Natsu stepped in, he would take a slightly different approach. He kneeled down to her level and grabbed her hands firmly. Lucy tried with all her might to rip her hands free, but Natsu was stronger than Lucy, he held her hands firmly, not hard enough to hurt her, but enough to constrain her from hurting herself. Natsu whipped his head to Levy, who stood there stunned.

"Levy, go back and get a wet towel, and ice… why are you just standing there? GO." Natsu barked.

Levy's eyes widened, she nodded and ran to find something- to do something to help her friend.

As Levy ran off, Natsu sat beside Lucy, his hands still holding hers. She struggled against him as she whimpered and cried. Unsure of what else to do, he pulled Lucy's body onto his until he was cradling her in his lap.

"Lucy, its okay, I'm right here. You're okay now. No ones here to hurt you. Your safe… your safe." He repeated over and over again. At this rate he wasn't saying it for her, but for himself. He feared to find out what had happened to Lucy, he feared for her safety. Her body racked with sobs. He rocked her back and forth while continuing to sooth her.

She struggled against him, but slowly stopped. Her arms soon fell limp and he was able to let go of her hands. She had massive scratch marks up and down her forearms, beneath the redness, he saw tiny, small burn marks up and down her arm as if she was burned by cigarettes. Natsu held his breath. What had happened to Lucy, who hurt her this bad?

He slowly played with her hair as he continued to sooth her. Lucy had quieted a little, she continued to shake but she wasn't crying as hard. Natsu let go of his breath as Levy returned. She dropped a first aid kit and some ice in front him. Before she could ask how Lucy was doing, he gave her another order.

"Go to the office and find Lucy's file, get Alex's number, and text it to me. He needs to come get her."

Levy looked a bit confused. Who was Alex? Shouldn't they being calling Lucy's parents? But she knew now wasn't the time for questions. She quickly hurried back from the door she just came from.

Natsu watched as Lucy calmed, she wasn't shaking anymore, she had stopped crying and she breaths began to even out. She was sleeping, the episode wiped all the energy she had. Natsu continued to play with her hair, his other hand having a firm grip on her waist. He was terrified to let her go, scared that if he did, she would slip away between his fingers.

He reached for the first aid kit and the ice. He wrapped the ice in a paper towel and began to slowly touch it to her neck, her face contorted as he did it, but he couldn't stop, her neck looked like it had attacked by a wild dog with bright red scratch marks everywhere.

He unzipped the first aid kit and grabbed the gauze and some ointment. He applied all over her neck, then slowly lifted her head and began applying the bandages. Lucy slept through the entire process, somewhat peacefully at that.

Natsu, once finished, sat Lucy so that her face laid in the crook of his neck. Her breath tickled his neck as he looked off at the horizon. It was a beautiful sunny day, a bit chillier than the day prior, but a refreshing kind of cold, one that makes you crave pumpkin spice everything and wear comfy hoodies. Natsu sat in chaotic peace, he should have been beyond scared considering, but something about all of it made him eerily calm, like he was in shock, maybe he just hadn't grasped the magnitude of the situation at hand.

He couldn't tell how long he sat there, switching between watching Lucy sleep and enjoying the cool day while trying to understand what the hell had just occured. A part of him wanted to shake Lucy, demand answers, but the better part of him knew that was no way to go about this.

Before he knew it, she stirred, her eyes flinched before opening. She slowly lifted her head to see Natsu.

"We're on the roof, you're in my arms, you're completely safe don't worry." Natsu said to her as she awoke. She looked very disoriented; he figured he'd ease her mind a little. Lucy's hands went to touch her neck, she winced when she touched it over the bandages.

"It happened again…" She whispered; her voice was hoarse from all the crying.

"So, this has happened before?" Natsu asked her softly, he didn't want to pry, but his mind was burning to ask her everything.

"Only a few times, it takes a lot to set me off like that, normally I'm very good at compartmentalizing. But no matter how hard I try… I'll always have triggers." She said looking down. The last time Lucy had an episode had been months ago, she was walking home, and someone tried to mug her. Luckily the mugger was an amateur and once he had Lucy get set off, he ran.

Natsu shifted Lucy to face him, "Listen, I won't ask, I won't make you tell me, but I need to know who or what scared you that set you off like this. That way I can help you avoid them or it. Deal?"

Lucy couldn't believe her ears; he didn't need to know, and he wouldn't pry. Lucy instantly felt much more comfortable knowing she wouldn't have to evade a million questions about it. But unfortunately, her response was pretty much a dead give away to what had happened to her.

"L-Lax-Laxus, I need you to keep me away from him, please?" She looked at Natsu in the eyes, hers pleading him to keep his word and not ask anymore and to just agree. Natsu's eyes narrowed, Laxus was a familiar name around the school. He was the schools A-List asshole who was known to pull shady shit. It was so bad that even girls didn't dare go near him, they all had heard the rumors, they knew bad news when they saw it.

"I promise Lucy, you won't ever see him again, okay? I promise I will protect you; you are safe with me and our friends." He said firmly. Natsu struggled to contain himself though, Laxus must've done something unspeakable to cause Lucy to react like that. But he knew she didn't want to talk about it, not yet at least. He didn't blame her; it had only been a day since they met technically.

"What's it like…?" He asked her, he instantly regretted it. "That was not a fair question," His mind scolded his mouth for being so unfiltered.

"Can you hold your breath?" she asked him.

"Yeah." He instantly sucked in a breath and began to hold it.

"Hold it until you no longer can." She told him. Natsu did so, a few seconds later he released the breath and gasped for air.

"I don't get it." He said while breathing heavy.

"You let go of your breath because you know there is air around for you to breathe, when I get like that I can't let go of my breath, its like there is no more air." She said.

Natsu looked at her with understanding, he only wanted to ask one more question. "How did he manage to trap you?" Natsu may not have known much about Lucy or what happened between her and Laxus, but he knew Laxus couldn't keep up a nice façade for long, so how did he manage to keep her long enough to hurt her this bad?

"When all you know is fight or flight, red flags and butterflies all feel the same."

Authors Note: Hey everyone, sorry for the late upload, between 5 classes and working I have very little time to write. Don't worry though I will continue to post daily and if I can't, I will post an update to when the next chapter will be updated! I hope everyone enjoys this chapter but for some background information, Lucy suffers from PTSD. I studied PTSD in one of my first-year uni courses, an episode can look different for everyone and characterizes itself often based off what caused the trauma. I of course don't know everything about PTSD so this may not be a completely accurate depiction and for that I do apologize. Anyways hope you all have a wonderful rest of your day, or night? Cya!

I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTERS; I simply write the plot:) all rights are reserved by the creators of Fairy tail.