Chapter 12:

Sadly, the Greene's death wasn't the last one. Two innocent muggle families had been murdered in cold blood, forcing the Order to work more than ever. As a precaution, mum and dad wouldn't let us out of the house, so the four of us were stuck between James' home and my own. It wasn't that bad, though. It actually turned out to be pretty awesome in more ways than one.

James and Lily were getting closer by the minute, for instance. And Sirius and I were sinking into a routine, which was confusing and comfortable at the same time. Confusing, because I kept getting butterflies every bloody time our eyes met and sometimes the air around us turned seriously charged with something I did not want to name. Comfortable, because we didn't fight as much as before and that meant we could all be together in the same room without Sirius and I starting an unexpected war. We still bickered but it was less tense.

"You have to kiss now!" Lily exclaimed happily as my Mother and Father entered the room.

My father lifted an amused eyebrow at the muggleborn girl. I laughed from the couch, where I was using James' lap as a pillow.

"It's a tradition. Each time a couple walks under the mistletoe," I said, pointing at the small plant hanging from the door's frame.

"They have to kiss." Sirius finished, throwing a grin my way. I beamed back, too happy about how this holidays had turned out and ignoring the way my heart started racing.

"Very well, then." My father nodded before pulling mum in for a kiss.

"Dad, Sirius said kiss not snog the living lights out of each other." I teased.

Everyone laughed along with me. Mum went into the room and put on a fake 'you're-in-trouble' expression on her face.

"All right, we'll be going now and will be back very late; please, do not burn down the house. Again." She sent a pointed look at James and Sirius. "Or I'll be taking house points before we're even back to school." She added with a smile that let us now she was not serious.

"We'll behave," I promised. "Won't we?" I asked the other three, who all nodded in unison.

Bye!" we all chorused at the same time, waving at them.

My mother stopped to look at us once more, almost like she was rethinking leaving a group of teenagers, who were known pranksters, alone for an entire day. Then, with a sigh that pretty much said screw it, she left with my Father. Today was December 31st and the rest of the group would be spending New Year's Eve with us. It had taken ages and a lot of effort but we had even got Dorcas to come.

"Now that they're gone…" Sirius drawled as he stretched and got up. "What shall we do?" he asked us with a suggestive move of his eyebrow.

"So not happening, pretty boy." I shook my head.

"The guys come here in two hours, we're changing. You should, too." Lily announced, her tone a little bit bossy.

Both Sirius and James groaned in annoyance but got up anyway. I giggled, amazed at how Lily could order them around. They had to change at their house so we agreed to meet here again once we were ready. I dressed quickly enough, with a scarlet knitted dress sweater and some black tights underneath. I wore red flats as well and let my hair down. Lily was still not ready, which I did not understand because it wasn't like we'd have a party or anything. It was us, we trusted each other enough to not have to dress to impress each other. We could wear our pajamas and nobody would care. I went into the kitchen and got a glass of water before going back to the living room.

"Bloody hell!" I exclaimed as I jumped and effectively dropped the contents of the glass in my hand.

Sitting in the sofa was no other than Sirius Black. I hadn't heard the door opening so I had assumed nobody was here. Sirius cackled loudly at my jumpiness and even I allowed a few giggles out. He had only changed his shirt, leaving his jeans on. I crossed my arms in disdain, keeping the glass in my right hand.

"Why didn't you tell me you were here? You scared me half to death." I exclaimed, still laughing slightly. I couldn't stop it, apparently.

"I thought you'd see me." He laughed, shaking his head at me.

"Well, I didn't." I replied as I flopped down next to him on the couch, carefully putting the crystal glass on the coffee table. "What are you doing here?" I asked curiously, my tone not accusatory at all.

"I was wondering if you'd be up for something." He commented casually, stretching one of his arms over the back of the sofa.

"Is it something good?" I asked although I already knew the answer.

"When is it ever?" he asked back, a grin on his face.

"All right, then. I'm in." I giggled, tucking my legs in.

He explained the whole thing to me with such accuracy that it left me thinking how long he'd planned this for. Of course I was in; it was the perfect plan, the final push. We agreed it had to be done before the others arrived; Lily and James would never do it with other people in the room. We waited until James got home, with a brown sweater and some trousers, his hair a mess thanks to the winter wind. We talked with him as usual but I kept an eye on the living room door so I'd see when Lily came. Finally, I heard the sound of footsteps under the stairs' rug. I discretely tapped Sirius' thigh, not missing the way he suddenly tensed but ignoring it all together.

"Come on, mate," he told James as he got up, patting him on the shoulder as he went. "Let's go get something to eat. Perhaps chocolate." He mused as he started to push James out of the chair he was in.

"Why must I go?" James whined lazily from the couch. "Take Meredith with you, Padfoot."

"Because I want you to come with me, so we can talk about something." Sirius improvised, sounding very much like a girl.

I stifled a laugh and worriedly look over the door. If they didn't hurry, Lily would appear there and the opportunity would disappear. Fortunately, though, the chance of hearing something only he could hear was the only incentive James needed, for he got up and started to walk to the door with Sirius. Maybe it was a coincidence, maybe Sirius had the best timing ever or, perhaps, God wanted it to happen, but for whatever reason, just as James was standing under the mistletoe, Lily came in, walking slightly sideways so she wouldn't bump into James. It was only for a second but it was enough, they were both standing under the seemingly innocent plant.

"Oi, wait!" I said. "You must kiss now."

Lily and James looked confused for a moment before looking up, a horrified look crossing over their features. They looked at each other before looking at us and back again.

"No, I mean… it's just a game, it's not fair." Lily protested lamely. "We weren't playing."

"Neither were mum and dad and they had to kiss. Rules are rules, Lils." I replied, enjoying all this a bit too much.

"Yeah, so kiss." Sirius ordered, not bothering to hide his smug smirk.

James looked like a deer caught in the headlights. I had assumed he'd be ecstatic about kissing Lily Evans, but apparently the mere idea terrified him. Lily looked like she was trying to burn the mistletoe with the mere power of her mind and will, but she eventually sighed and looked at James.

"Okay, let's just… make it quick, then." She rushed through her words.

I got up and practically jumped to Sirius' side, grabbing his arm for balance. I couldn't believe this was actually happening. After months of planning, they'd finally kiss. I watched as she grabbed James' sweater and brought him down to her level so she could press her lips to his. Both of their eyes closed and James' hands found their way to her waist as their kiss deepened. Make it quick my ass, I thought as I tried very hard not to squeal. Oh, I had to tell Marlene about this!

The thought made the smile on my face freeze and my grip on Sirius' sleeve fell. I wouldn't be telling Marlene about this because she wasn't talking to me. Funny how these things work: I ignored her because I was jealous about her dating my ex, focus on the prefix, and I wouldn't talk to her; and now that I needed her, she refused to talk to me. I missed her. Lily, Marlene and I were best friends; we were Gryffindor's favorite trio. Nobody could fill her spot. Alice, Mary, Dorcas, they were our friends but none of them were like Marlene and both Lily and I knew that. And I knew I had to ask for forgiveness, even if there was blame to share. I shook my head and came back to the present, where Lily and James had finally separated from their kiss. They looked at each other, both their cheeks quickly turning as red as Lily's hair, before smiling shyly.

"Hello there," James said after a moment.

"Hi," Lily whispered.

"Okay, we should really not be here." I mumbled to Sirius.

"Yeah, I did not think this through." He mumbled back, frowning down at me.

I let out a breathy laugh and shook my head, not knowing what to say. Luckily, I didn't have to think too hard because there was a knock on the door right at that moment. Which could only mean one thing.

"The boys are here!" I exclaimed, happy to have a reason to leave.

"I'll go with you." Sirius jumped in.

We started to walk to the door, pausing to step around the couple who was still looking at each other in wonder, and hesitated in the door frame.

"You go first," Sirius said, knowing we could not under any circumstances walk past the mistletoe together.

I smiled at him and walked past the door to the front porch, Sirius right behind me. I opened the door to Remus, Peter and Mary.

"Mary!" I smiled as I rushed to hug her.

Somehow, we all managed to get out of the house and into the front lawn, instead of going in. Mary started to talk about her vacations right away and about how she had been sending letters back and forth with Remus since they left school. I squealed a little at that, I must confess.

"Hey, Mere," Remus said as he approached us. A small smile on his face.

"Remus," I walked to him and enveloped him in a hug, which he gladly returned. "How are you? I missed you."

"I missed you too." He chuckled as we stepped away.

I greeted Peter with a smile and a kiss on the cheek, which made him turn slightly red. We stayed there, eventually joined by James and Lily, just talking and laughing until Dorcas and Alice arrived. Alice, however, came with a small surprise: none other than Frank Longbotton.

"No way," I breathed at Lily who simply stared.

Alice hadn't even told us she was interested in someone.

"Is that… is that Frank Longbotton?" Lily asked, her voice laced with shock. I merely nodded.

"Hey, everyone," Alice waved, while Dorcas simply went to sit by us in an instant. "This is Frank." She introduced, even if we already knew who that was. "I hope it's okay I brought him, Mere."

"Yeah, don't worry about it," I said, a smile on my face.

Even though Frank was a year older than us, he fell into our routine quite fast and didn't complain we were a bit immature, which sometimes we were really. It was a great day, in general. We played Quidditch, much to Mary's dismay, girls against boys and us girls won for what I can honestly say was the first time in years. The last day of the year passed by in a blur, actually. Sooner than I expected, everyone left, leaving only the two marauders and Lily and I.

"Well, this was a lovely day." I sighed as I flopped down on the couch upside down, my head near the wooden floor and my feet dangling up in the air.

"What are you doing, silly?" Lily laughed as she sat on the armchair next to the fire. It was safe to assume she was a little bit tipsy.

"I don't know…" I said slowly.

James laughed and sat down next to me, one of his arms resting on the back of the couch. "I think you had too much to drink."

I frowned up at him before shaking my head. No, definitely not. "James… I didn't drink. You did, remember?" I asked him, starting to laugh when his face scrunched up in confusion.

"Oh, right." He mumbled. "Padfoot, do you think I had too much?" he asked.

Everyone looked around the room when the expected answer never came. I sat up straight and looked around, just as Lily and James did the same, and was surprised to see Sirius was nowhere to be seen in the living room. Hadn't he come in with us?

"Where's he?" Lily asked, getting up and looking around like she was expecting to find Sirius behind a chair or something. She suddenly stumbled and put her hands in the air to steady herself before deciding it'd be better to just sit down.

"I don't know…" I muttered, pretty worried. Sirius ran away from home last year, pretty much around this time of year. "James, shouldn't you maybe… you know… go look for him?"

"Yeah, right. I'll look for 'im." He nodded as he got up. Suddenly he lost his balance and ended up sitting on the couch again. "Right… where was I going again?" he asked us.

Lily started at him momentarily before bursting out laughing, covering her mouth with her hand. Okay, so Lily was more than just a little bit tipsy. James soon started laughing as well, although I don't think he even knew what he was laughing about.

"Okay, so I'm not serving alcohol ever again." I announced. That only made them laugh harder. "You're both completely useless." I muttered under my breath as I moved to the door.

Once there, I made sure to remove the mistletoe and bring it with me to the kitchen. God only knew what those two would do if their imagination went to the silly plant.

"Will Miss want something?" Glitter rushed to my side as soon as I reached the kitchen.

I sighed and leaned in the counter, looking through the window to the front yard. No sight of Sirius there. Where was he? I hummed and turned to the little elf, who was still smiling up at me with excitement.

"Do you happen to know where Sirius is, Glitter?" I asked her.

"Mister Black went to the back a while ago, Miss. Right after Miss and Mister went with your friend to the living room. Glitter asked if Mister wanted anything but he didn't answer Glitter." The elf announced, proud to be of service but a little worried about the fact that she hadn't help Sirius.

"That's okay, thank you, Glitter." I smiled before moving away from her and walking down the hall.

As I made my way to the back door, I could still hear Lily and James' laughter. The house was incredibly quiet. Delilah was with my Aunt and Uncle, and Christian and Ariadne were who-knows-where. I didn't think it fair that just because they were off age they could go out as much as they wanted at whatever hour and wherever they wished. I found Sirius sitting in the middle of the backyard, with his legs spread out and his hands behind him, supporting him as he looked up at the sky. Even the night was quiet. For some reason it gave me the chills and I prayed that didn't mean I'd predict another creepy death.

"Hello," I said as I plopped down beside him.

"Hey." He mumbled, not looking at me.

"James and Lily are drunk…" I started. "Like completely drunk, like laughing-at-nothing-and-everything drunk."

"Well, at least two of us had fun." He commented, looking down momentarily before looking up at the sky again.

"You didn't have fun?" I asked as I leaned on my hands and looked up at the sky.

I had never been too good at studying the sky but I had to admit tonight was the perfect night for seeing and studying the stars. It was clear, without any clouds, and the moon casted silver light into the garden. It wasn't completely full yet, but it was full enough to illuminate the area.

"It's not that… I don't know." He shook his head, some of his hair falling into his eyes. I watch as he blew it away. My, was he hot when he did that.

I shook my head and tore my gaze away from him before he could turn to face me and realize the blush that was starting to ascend my neck and that soon would be in my cheeks. What was wrong with me? This was not the time for me to start having a physical attraction towards him.

"Have you found yourself?" I suddenly asked, tilting my head to the side as I squinted at the sky.

A moment passed before him answering and I supposed he was doing the same as I. "I don't know," he said, making me frown. "I like my life, I have great friends, lots of ladies." He added the last part with a smug tone. I ignored it, though. What was he talking about? "But I'm seventeen and there's a war going on and my family is in it and I know I shouldn't be bothered about it but I don't want Regulus to be a death-eater. I really don't." He ran a hand down his face.

That's when it clicked on my mind. Oh, so he thought I was asking about finding himself, as in who he is. I pondered interrupting him but decided against it, he looked pretty troubled.

"And then there's your Aunt and Uncle, who are also in the war and who I consider family, I don't want anything to happen to them. And I can't live with them forever, what am I suppose to do once I graduate Hogwarts? James knows he wants to be an auror and be part of the order… and I do too! But…" at that he stopped and simply looked up at the sky again.

I stayed silent, not knowing what to say. I felt bad. I spent most of Christmas break ranting about my stupid problems and here he was with a battle of his own.

"Oh, you meant the constellation, didn't you?" he suddenly realized, his eyes widening and reflecting the starry night.

"Yeah," I gave out a small sad laugh. "But it's good to know you've been doing a lot of soul-searching." He didn't say anything and I sighed. "You do know this is normal, right? That just because your parents taught you how not to show your feelings since you were a toddler, it doesn't mean you have to keep everything in. It doesn't make you weak."

"I know that." He snapped slightly.

"Do you?" I countered, raising an eyebrow his way. "If it helps, I'm terrified as well. I don't know what to do after Hogwarts, I don't know what to do about these predictions I keep doing without even realizing it. And I'm worried sick about my family, too." I ranted, sitting up and turning to face him. "Lily feels the same and I'm sure James and the others are scared too. Hell, I think even McGonagall is scared!" he nodded but didn't say anything or looked at me. "This doesn't make you weak. If anything it makes you even stronger. You know why? Because you have something to lose, something to fight for. You're not like them." I finished, hoping that my words weren't falling on deaf ears.

"How do you know that? Meredith, two years ago I sent Snape into the passage to the Shrieking shack, where Remus was hiding, so he could learn a bloody lesson. The bloke almost got killed because of me." he snapped, making me flinch.

Yeah, fourth year was not Sirius Black's best year, I'd give him that. We broke up, James, Peter and Remus didn't talk to him for two months after the Shrieking Shack accident—although I hadn't known what caused it. I knew now.—his family was even crueler to him and he was almost expelled. See, not a good year.

"Are you sorry for it? Do you regret doing that?" I questioned, already knowing the answer.

"Of course I do!" he exclaimed, almost angrily.

"Then I rest my case." I stated.

He stared at me for what felt like eternity but was probably only a minute, before finally allowing a small smile and turning back to the sky. Taking that as a good answer, I turned back to the sky as well, returning to my prior position in the grass. We stayed quiet for a moment, simply admiring the sky.

"Hey," he nudged me with his shoulder. I turned to him. "I'm over there." He pointed to the sky.

I looked up and followed his finger that was pointing the constellation I had asked on the first place. I smiled and stared at it, I had always thought it was a beautiful star.

"Right," I said, my voice close to a whisper.

"And you are over there." He pointed to another side, close to the Sirius star.

"Sirius, I'm not named after a star." I laughed, shaking my head.

"Sure you are. You're middle name's Adhara and there it is, a little far away from Sirius." He pointed to the other star. "The nineteenth brightest star in the universe."

"You're making this stuff up." I denied, shaking my head as I looked at the newly discovered star.

"How have you managed to pass Astronomy?" he asked me in amazement.

"I don't anymore, remember?" I shot back, blushing a little.

"Well, I do. And that's your star." He stated, looking back at the star.

"I think it's beautiful," I said, glancing at the bright star again.

Sirius only hummed in answer. I sighed in contempt. "Thank you," I said, not only referring to the stars but to the fact that he had trusted me with his problems.

"No, thank you." He answered.