Chapter 7
Will you show me hope?
Soon after Lucy came to, Natsu called Alex and had him pick Lucy up. Natsu also texted the group saying that Lucy would be okay and that she had gone home to rest. He spent the rest of the day on the roof, not even thinking about the classes he was missing. He just sat there and thought, he had been through his fair share of shit, but it was nothing compared to Lucy.
That's when a familiar face joined him. "Hey Natsu, you okay?" Gajeel asked him.
"How'd you know I was up here." He tried to sound annoyed, but it came out as sad as he was.
"I saw you weren't in the locker room before fourth period started, Levy said you may have still been up here." Gajeel took a seat next to him, he stared at the view with Natsu in silence until Natsu spoke up.
"I didn't even know how to help her, when I tried, she thought I was gonna hurt her, I just…" Natsu trailed off, he didn't really know how to put his thoughts into words.
Gajeel sighed, "Listen, I don't know what happened, but I can say I do know one thing for sure. You did everything you could to help her, sometimes trying is all we can do. When it comes to mental health, it isn't always black or white, right, or wrong. Sometimes we fall into a grey area that we have to navigate ourselves. Lucy's in the grey area right now, and she's trying too." He didn't look at Natsu when he said it, he continued to look at the view.
Natsu let go of a breath he didn't even know he was holding, Lucy's voice ringing in his head, "Can you hold your breath." The memory played in his mind like a broken record.
"Did she tell you what happened? Do you know who caused this." Gajeel asked
"She said it was Laxus, nothing more. Nothing else needs to be said, his name gives a general idea of everything." He said with a deep hatred in his voice. Laxus was a great guy when they were all kids, Natsu was actually best friends with his younger sister Lisanna years ago. But after she passed away, he changed. Grief has a terrible way of tormenting the soul, it'll kill you if you let it.
Gajeel growled, he had his own fair share of run-ins with the blonde dickhead. Laxus used to harass Levy before he came around, once he did though, Laxus left her alone.
"I wish I could tell you what to do here man, but my advice is just as good as your own. Maybe just try to be there for her, she clearly could use a friend and a support system you know? We can all keep tabs on where Laxus is and text the group chat, that way when one of us sees him, we can all let each other know and whoever is with Lucy can direct her away from that area." Gajeel suggested.
"Good idea… thank you, I know we bicker most days because your brain is made of metal, but I appreciate you being here." Natsu said with a smile.
"Only you could ruin a thank-you so bad." Gajeel said.
The two sat up there in silence until the bell rang, gaining comfort from being around each other alone.
Natsu got home and threw his bag in the corner of his room, he sat at his piano and stared out his window. He wasn't really sure what to do with himself, so he decided to do what he did best, turn his thoughts into music.
He spent the next few hours writing and playing, when he finished the song, the moon shown brightly through his window. His fingers rested on the keys, and he began to play
(Someone to stay- Vancouver Sleep clinic)
"You were alone, left out in the cold
Clinging to the ruin of your broken home
Too lost and hurting to carry your load
We all need someone to hold.
You've been fighting the memory, all on your own
Nothing worsens, nothing grows
I know how it feels being by yourself in the rain
We all need someone to stay
We all need someone to stay"
Natsu started to play with all of his emotion, he sang as if Lucy was there next to him, this was his message to her.
"Hear the fallen and lonely, cry out
Will you fix me up? Will you show me hope?
At the end of the day, you were helpless
Can you keep me close? Can you love me most?"
He sang from both perspectives, he tried to get in her head, imagine her own soul through his own.
"You've drunk it down and you've spat it out
And nothing tastes like the things you had
So tear it off, why don't you let them go?
We all need someone to stay
We all need someone to stay
Hear the fallen and lonely, cry out
Will you fix me up? Will you show me hope?
At the end of the day, you were helpless
Can you keep me close? Can you love me most?
Can you keep me close? Can you love me most?
Can you keep me close? Can you love me most?"
Natsu was holding back tears, the song was bearing his soul raw for the moon to hear, he looked up, took a breath, and finished the rest of the song.
"You were alone, left out in the cold
Clinging to the ruin of your broken home
Hear the falling and lonely, cry out
Will you fix me up? Will you show me hope?
The end of the day and we're helpless
Can you keep me close? Can you love me?
Hear the fallen and lonely, cry out
Will you fix me up? Will you show me hope?
At the end of the day, we're helpless
Can you keep me close? Can you love me most?
Can you keep me close? Can you love me most?
Can you keep me close? Can you love me most?"
Natsu's hands shook, his breath ragged, but he felt better. He got all the bad out and left inside his soul was the one thing he knew he could offer Lucy, hope.
Lucy too sat at her piano. It was late and she stared out the window at the stars in the sky, she wondered if Natsu was looking at the stars too.
Lucy spent the rest of the afternoon in a walk-in clinic, Alex told them she was attacked by a neighbours dog when he managed to get off-leash. They redressed her neck and gave her someone medicine for the pain and swelling.
She stared back down at the piano, for once nothing came to her.
"Your mind is blank because you are forcing down what you use to write, your memories." Alex said, standing at the door of her room.
"How'd you know I couldn't write?" She asked him, not turning around to look at his face. She felt a lot of shame for what she caused today. She had worried Alex, he had to leave work during their lunch rush to go get her. More importantly she had hurt herself, something she was also ashamed off.
"Lucy, you know what my favorite thing about you is?" he asked her. She shook her head slowly; her neck was stiff from the swelling.
"Its your courage, something knocks you down and you get right back up, and then you channel all of that into your music. Let yourself get back up CeeCee, let yourself feel this one and take out all your frustration on the piano. Don't let the sadness keep you down. Its already held your hand for far to long."
Lucy said nothing, she thought about his words. Alex was a simple-minded dummy most days, but he also had the ability to say just the right thing when you needed it most. She took a deep breath, and the words appeared in front of her.
(Better Than Today- Rhys Lewis)
"I don't read the headlines
And I don't watch the news
'Cause silence faith in something every time I do
Well, I don't mean to bury my head in the sand
But I'm just tryna live this life as best as I can"
Lucy feels her sadness slowly start to dissipate. Like Alex had said, she couldn't let herself be sad any longer, this song would be one of hope.
"Times get tough, but I don't give up
'Cause I know I'm not alone.
'Cause we're all reaching for something
We're all craving change
Hoping tomorrow tomorrow is better than today
We're all searching for some way
Trying to find a way
Hoping tomorrow tomorrow is better than today
Hoping tomorrow tomorrow is better than today."
Lucy's emotions began to bubble up piece by piece, she just let them. All the anger, anxiety, and sadness leave her body and enter the piano.
"It's not easy sleeping
When I lay down in bed
'Cause I got all this worry running through my head
And its hard to keep pushing forward
When trouble pulls you back
And you wake up even further from a dream you had."
Lucy felt herself let go, for a moment in time and space, she was just song and music. The world faded away as she let herself be okay.
"Times get tough, but I don't give up
'Cause I know I'm not alone.
'Cause we're all reaching for something
We're all craving change
Hoping tomorrow tomorrow is better than today
We're all searching for some way
Trying to find a way
Hoping tomorrow tomorrow is better than today
Hoping tomorrow tomorrow is better…
So just hold one when someone breaks you
Just hold on when feelings shake you
Just hold on when darkness change you
Just hold on…
Lucy takes a breath; she quiets her playing on the piano for the end of the song. Alex listened to her, he could hear the raw emotion in the words. Lucy had the power to turn even the most terrible pain into beauty. No matter what the world threw at her, he knew she would be okay.
"'Cause we're all searching for something
We're all craving change
Hoping tomorrow tomorrow is better than today
So lets keep searching for some way
We're gonna find a way
To make tomorrow tomorrow better than today
Let's make tomorrow tomorrow better than today
Let's make tomorrow tomorrow better than today
Let's make tomorrow tomorrow better than today
Let's make tomorrow tomorrow better than today…"
Lucy turned to face Alex, "Thank you for helping me find my music brother." She said with a loving smile.
"I can't help you forget your past, but I will do everything in my power to give you the future you deserve Ceecee. Get some rest, I'll see you tomorrow." Alex responded. He walked over to her and gave her a hug, something she desperately needed at the moment.
As he walked off, Lucy felt a pit in her stomach, like something- no someone, was missing. Natsu's face flashed in her mind and the feeling got worse, she wished Natsu was here with her.
Lucy awoke with a startle to pounding on her door. She threw on a robe and tip-toed to the door. She slowly picked up the bat Alex had left there and on the count of three, she swung the door open, bat at the ready to swing.
"WOAH." Grey held up his hands in surrender. "Its just me, well us actually."
Lucy quickly lowered the bat and peered down the hall where Erza, Levy, Gajeel, Juvia, Jellal, Natsu and Loke all stood.
"Uh… hey guys, isn't there school today." Lucy gazes at the time on her clock. "Isn't first period right now?" she asked them.
Lucy stepped aside as they all entered her small apartment. It was Erza that would respond to her.
"Under normal circumstances I would've beaten each of them for skipping class, but in light of yesterdays actions, it felt justified to miss school in order to help a friend get better." Erza gave Lucy a sweet smile. Lucy gave a hopeful smile back.
"Wow that's really nice of you, one sec! I'll go get dressed and then we can hangout." Lucy rushed into her room and closed the door.
Loke swiftly tried to peep open the door but was quickly prevented from doing so but a smack on the head from Erza.
Levy giggled watching Loke rub his head in pain, what a brash idiot he was.
Lucy came out of her room a moment later, she wore an oversized chunky green knit sweater and a black mini skirt. She wore black leg warmers and Mary-janes to match.
"Nice outfit Lu! We have to go shopping sometime so you can teach me how to dress." She complimented her friend
"Well, I think how you dress is sexy enough shrimp." Gajeel whispered into her ear. Her face turned bright red at the comment. She stared at the floor, scared to face Gajeel, who had the biggest smirk of all time. He loved knowing he could make Levy's knees weak with a simple word.
The group all decided it was a beautiful day and that they should go to the town's public garden to enjoy it. Lucy rejoiced at the idea; she hurried her friends out of her apartment so they could get there as soon as possible.
It was a short walk and once everyone arrived everyone paired off. Loke, being the odd one out, joined Jellal and Erza as he knew they were the least likely to make him a third wheel. Natsu and Lucy travelled deep into the garden, it was about the same size as the one at her old home, Lucy felt a pang of nostalgia thinking about it.
"I got you something." Natsu said as they walked. He took a small box out of his pocket and gave it to her. She looked at him in surprise, it wasn't her birthday yet.
"What for?" She asked
"There doesn't need to be a reason for me to give you a gift Luce." Natsu grinned, he held his hand out for her to take the box. She opened it and gasped. Inside was an iPhone.
"Natsu- I, how did you get this?" She struggled to form a coherent sentence.
"Honestly I got it more for myself than you, your stupid iPod sucks, now you have a phone to call me if you ever need."
"Hey! Don't hate on the iPod, that thing has survived the washing machine twice." She defended herself while laughing.
"Yeah, but its as old as Fiore, it was about time you upgraded." He picked on her. Lucy suddenly looked at him with a sincere smile, she then leaned in and gave him a hug.
"Thank you Natsu, that's beyond generous of you."
Natsu skin was electric, he hugged her back, enjoying how much her body just molded right into his. Like two puzzle pieces, they were whole when they were together.
"Mine and everyone's numbers are already on it. Just call me whenever you want." He whispered into her ear. Lucy felt a shiver run down her back; her body just responded to Natsu. She would've thought she would be scared of guys after Laxus, and normally she was. But with him she never once felt that way. She saw him and she saw safety.
Lucy pulled away and they walked to sit on a hill for Natsu to teach her how to use an iPhone.
"Okay so now stare at the camera." He told her. Lucy did and a few moments later the phone alerted them that face ID was completed.
"Wait, so I just stare at the damn thing, and it unlocks? What kind of sorcery is this shit." She asked, while looking at the phone funny.
"Lucy, I know you may live in the 60's, but most people our age are familiar with face ID."
Lucy laughed and laid back; she watched as small clouds passed by them in the sky.
"Thank you Natsu, I know you were behind everyone coming to see me today. You have been beyond kind to me, and I will never be able to repay you." She said while continuing to look up. Natsu laid down beside her, turning his head to look at her.
"Luce, don't thank me doing what friends do. I'm always gonna be here to make you smile and make sure your okay. Okay?" He said. Lucy had turned to face him. She smiled and then turned her body so that she laid her head on his stomach and watched the clouds.
Natsu smiled, he began to play with her hair as they both looked up at the sky. They would spend the rest of the day using their imagination to make shapes out of the clouds.
Lucy's eyes wandered to Natsu as he pondered whether the cloud above him looked like his cat or Santa. "Hey mom, do you see me? I know your up there" she thought to herself. She smiled, "You don't have to worry mom, I'm gonna be okay."
Authors Note: welcome back! hope you enjoyed todays chapter. To be honest I struggled to write this one a little. I have had a very busy past few days and so I found it a bit harder to concentrate enough to write. On the plus side, I have figured out where I will be heading with this story! Definitely gonna be some shockers for you guys:)
Anyways thanks for everyone's reviews, messages and support these last few chapters. When I posted Chapter 1, I honestly thought people would be uninterested, but seeing people message me about the story has made me beyond happy. I say this because when I first started university, I became so immersed in school that I lost myself; I had lost my love for all my passions. Recently I decided to change that and took up writing and singing again, every since its like I feel like myself again. Its just crazy how quickly we can loose sight of ourselves trying to be our best selves. Anywayyyyssss, enough of my sappy rant. Hope you all have a great rest of your day (or night). Cya!
I DO NOT OWN THESE CHARACTERS, I simply write the plot. All rights are reserved to the writers of Fairy Tail.