A/N: Hi guys! here's a new chapter! Um, I think the end is a bit weird but that's because the chapter was much longer and I felt it was way too long so I split it into two and now I feel the ending is weird and the chapter is too short. Oops.

Anyway, I hope you like it! could I get maybe 5 reviews for this chapter? Just let me know if you're enjoying this story 'cause I've been having trouble with it. I mean, I know where I want to take it, I don't know how... I get frustrated and stop writing. So hearing from you all would make me feel more motivated!

love you all and enjoy!

Chapter 19:

I took a deep breath in as I knocked the door to my mum's office. I had a free period between History of Magic and Defence against the Dark Arts, so I had been hoping I'd be able to talk to my mother before she became Professor Potter. My mum called out to me, allowing me entrance, and I went in, somewhat hesitant.

"Mum?" I asked.

She looked up from her desk, where she appeared to be grading some essays, and smiled when she spotted me. Her hair was up in a bun and her reading glasses were halfway down her nose. I noted she had dark bags under her eyes and was incredibly surprised about it. Mum was always immaculate; she never let people know she was tired.

"Honey," she said, putting her quill aside. "What brings you here? Do you need help with something from school?"

I frowned as I walked further into her office. Couldn't I pass by her office just to talk to her? Was I really that bad of a daughter that she immediately assumed my visit concerned school and not quality time with her? My mum was amazing but, I realized, we hadn't sat down and have a nice chat in weeks, if not months. I hadn't even spent time with her in my birthday. People always asked me if I and my mum were close and I always answered 'yes', no hesitance. But it was a lie. Shaking my head slightly, I sat down in one of the plush chairs in front of her desk.

"Mum," I started, suddenly nervous. "When you and dad met, how did you know he was the one for you?" I asked.

My mum raised both her eyebrows and took off her glasses, setting them neatly next to her work. She leaned in and let a deep breath through her nose.

"All right, you haven't been interested in my and your father's story since you were seven years old. What's going on in that head of yours?" my mum asked me.

"You know, just... curious." I shrugged noncommittally. I didn't really want to tell my mum about what was going on, I just wanted an answer. My mother sent me her 'I want no shit' look. I caved. "All right—there's this guy and I just... I don't know—"

"Oh, honey, this isn't about Fabian, is it?" my mum interrupted, going back to her work. I blinked in confusion. Did I hear disdain in her voice?

"No, it's not." I shook my head.

"Because, well, I know for a fact your relationship wouldn't have lasted that much longer." She commented. "I mean, yes you fancied him, but, well, I've heard the rumours, you've lived them." She waved dismissively.

"What rumours?" I asked, mouth hanging open.

"I know I haven't addressed them until now but—well, that is simply because your father asked me to leave it alone, I must say." She explained, shaking her head. "I want you to know I'm highly aware of that hobby of yours; the one where you go from one lad to the next without even thinking twice about it." At this, her tone turned bitter and I knew she was about to reprimand me.

I looked down, hurt. Her comment had stung deeply. I did have a reputation of dating one boy for a day and other the next, though, so I suppose she was somewhat right. But what I had had with Fabian had been real. I had even considered a future with him. I cleared my throat and got up slowly, trying to get out of the office before she decided to continue this conversation.

"You know, mum, it was nothing," I told her. She opened her mouth but I rushed to the door. "Thank you, anyways."

With that I shut the door behind me and let out a breath. Well, that had gone incredibly well. Deciding that had been a clear sign that I should ignore all feelings about one Sirius Black, I made my way to the Common Room, seeking solace more than anything. The Common Room was packed. Apparently, everyone had decided to do the same as I. My friends were huddled together in our usual spot and I made my way towards them but was intercepted by Anthony. He stood in front of me, a bright smile on his face. I wanted to slap it off.

"Tony, hello!" I said, sarcastically bright.

"Mere," he started, putting one lazy arm around my shoulders. "How's everything going, darling?"

"Can't complain." I mumbled, trying to find an exit.

"So,"—I looked up at him when I noticed the change in his tone.—"I was thinking we should have an extra." He wiggled his eyebrows seductively.

I frowned, not following his track of thoughts, before realization hit me. We had gone out a couple of times last year and we hadn't had an 'extra', as in one more night of meaningless sex to get some closure. What was it with people today? Carefully, I shrugged his arm off of me.

"Tony, would you be so kind as to do me a favour?" I asked him with a smile.

"Totally." He nodded, his blonde hair falling into his eyes.

"Sod off." I snapped at him before walking past him and sitting next to Lily in the sofa by the fire.

Dorcas was lying on the floor, lazily going through a copy of Hogwarts: A Gossip and rolling her eyes once in a while at it. Alice was frowning down at her Care of Magical Creatures project and Mary was sitting upside down in a chair, looking distractedly at the coffee table as she moved a thread around so that Lyanna, her kitten, could jump around and catch it. Lily mentioned something about a new book she was reading, a muggle book, and we discussed the plot for a few minutes. It was about a married couple who travelled from New Zealand to England in the hopes of uncovering a mystery and they met a Miss Marple, who would apparently help them. Lily wasn't sure yet. It sounded interesting and she agreed to lend it to me once she was done with it. Suddenly, the portrait door opened and Marlene stormed inside, clearly livid.

"My parents think I'm an easy bitch." She snarled, flopping down in the sofa.

"Join the club." I mumbled.

"Did McGonagall write to them?" Dorcas asked curiously, dropping the magazine and sitting up.

"Yes!" Marlene exclaimed, about ready to blow. "So I got detention for sneaking out and snogging some boy in a broom closet! It's not like I killed someone, or worse, failed a project. My grades are better than ever!" she ranted, running a hand through her messy hair. "Mum wants to have McGonagall place a tracking spell on me! She's gone mental, I tell you, absolutely fucking mental!" she finished with a loud huff as she crossed her arms and glared at the fireplace.

The girls and I shared a look, silently agreeing it was best to let her calm on her own. Marlene could be a bit explosive when angered. Mary let out a deep resigned sigh and propelled her legs forward, pretty much doing a cart wheel so she could get up.

"Free period is over." She announced, jumping up. "Off to Runes. I'll see you after dinner."

"You're not coming to dinner?" I asked, curious.

Mary hesitated for a moment, slowly but surely turning red. The flush started on her neck, clashing against her otherwise pale skin, and it rose until it reached her hairline. I raised my eyebrows at that; my question had been completely ordinary. Dorcas let out a laugh at that. It was a weird laugh, though, as if she was keeping a secret.

"What?" I asked, suddenly realizing I was out of the loop. Even Alice had looked up from her work to share a knowing smile with Dorcas and Lily.

"She has a studying session with Remus at the library tonight." Lily commented with a sly smile.

I 'aw'ed, nodding in understanding. Then, I smirked. "Ooh, you're going to find yourselves a cosy hidden corner, won't you?"

"What?" Mary exclaimed, somehow getting even redder. She sounded completely scandalized. "We're only going to study."

Marlene and I scoffed at the same time. 'Just' study? Bullocks. Everyone knew a study session between a boy and a girl, especially if they had gone in a few dates, almost always ended up in a heated make out session in a triangular corner somewhere. Having to hide from Miss Pince made it all the more interesting.

"Honest!" Mary protested. When all we showed was laughter, she shook her head and started walking to the door. "I'll see you later!" she called. We could hear laughter in her voice.

After a few more seconds of laziness, Lily and I got up to make our way to DADA. I didn't want to go. Mostly because I would have to face my mum and I didn't want to after our chat earlier. And mostly because we shared that class with the Slytherins and with the Marauders.

"Very well class, I'm sure you all remember last year I taught you how to produce a patronus." My mother spoke from the front of the class. She has covered the bag under her eyes and she looked much better than earlier today. I also noticed her tone was stern, as if she was still reprimanding me, but maybe that was my imagination. "Some of you mastered the protective spell quite easily," at this she smiled at the Marauders. "Others, however, failed miserably. This year, I will not accept 'miserably'. You either success and get an Outstanding, or you don't produce a full body patronus and you get a Troll."

At this, I sucked in a sharp breath. I was horrible at patronuses; at best, I was able to produce a faint light. I didn't know why. I understood the concept, I had read about it, my siblings had talked to me about it for hours, my mum had tried to teach me, and I was still to produce a full body patronus. And something told me I wouldn't do it today. I couldn't get a Troll, though. I had never ever in my life gotten a Troll; my first couldn't come from my own mother! Lily and I shared a worried look. She seemed as horrified as I felt. Her patronus had been more successful than mine but it hadn't been a full body patronus. My mum turned on her feet and started to walk towards the door, signalling us to follow her with her wand. The entire class got up from their seat and started to pour out of the classroom. I waited until Sirius was long gone before getting up and going after the students.

"I don't want to get a Troll." Lily mumbled as we raised the stairs, clearly going to one of the empty classroom on the fourth floor.

"Me neither." I mumbled back, frowning. "I mean, we're halfway through this semester, if we get a Troll at this..."

"We won't get an O in DADA." Lily finished lamely. "Ugh, I absolutely hate this."

We weren't able to talk much after that because we finally reached our destination; the fifth classroom in the fourth floor. It was big and had only what would be the teacher's desk. With a flicker of her wand, my mum drew the thick curtains from the windows, allowing the bright sunlight in. Once we were all inside and the chatter had stopped, my mum cleared her throat and started calling out names. Many students passed and almost all failed. I started to get anxious; if all these students, Gryffindor and Slytherin alike, had failed, there was no way I would get an O.

"Lily Evans," she called.

Lily jumped up. I sent her a small smile as support and prayed to god she'd get it right. Lily walked up to the front of the classroom and took a deep breath in before raising her wand. She closed her eyes and after a few seconds of deep thinking, shouted the incantation. A strip of white light left the point of her wand and slowly but surely turned into a beautiful doe. I gasped lightly. She had done it! Lily had actually done a full-body patronus!

"Well done, Evans, you get an Outstanding." My mother praised her with a small smile.

She smiled brightly and skipped her way over to me. I beamed at her excitedly.

"Congratulations." Remus whispered to her from somewhere behind us.

"Thanks, Remus." Lily whispered back.

I stole a glance over my shoulder at the Marauders. Sirius was leaning against the wall, laidback. Something about the way he had his hands inside his trouser's pockets made my pulse race. Peter was looking around, completely distracted by who knows what, and James... well, James looked like he had died and gone to heaven. I stifled a laugh, what could have possibly raised that reaction out of him? My eyes went to Sirius again, just in time to see him shake his head to get his black hair away from his eyes. My stomach clenched and I had to bite my lip to stop myself from moaning out loud. Jesus, when did he get so hot? I wasn't even sure it was legal. I wanted to kiss him so bad. I wanted to... well, do other things to him that I couldn't exactly say out loud. But I also desperately wanted to fix things between us. I missed him so much. I missed talking to him, trusting him things I usually didn't tell others, learning even more about him. There was so much I didn't know. Did he still play guitar? What had happened to his uncle? Had he already died? I didn't know, I hoped he hadn't.

"Meredith Potter."

My mother's voice made me turn back around. It was my turn. Oh, god, what was I going to do? I walked slowly to the front, noticing how my legs and hands were shaking. I must have looked as scared as I felt because my mother had mercy on me and walked forwards.

"Remember to think of your happiest memory, Meredith," she said. "It doesn't have to be extraordinary; it just has to be the happiest you have ever felt."

I nodded and she walked back to her original spot. All right, I could do this. My happiest memory... my happiest memory... oh, dear lord, my mind's gone completely blank. Happiness? There were a lot of things I had been feeling lately and happiness was definitely not it. If anything, I'd been sad. I shook my head; the memory didn't have to be recent. Still, I came up empty-handed. What was I going to do? Deciding to just go with my intuition and hoping the right memory would come to me on its own, I raised my wand. My hand shook so much my wand was moving all over the place. I didn't want to see myself fail again, so I simply closed my eyes. As always, my mind did not disappoint. It ended up being a recent memory, after all. I remembered the cold air and the freezing water, the laughter and excitement of living out a long time tradition. We all acted as if we had no worries. That day there were no wars or old arguments or impending doom. It was also the day I stopped calling him Black. Sirius had seemed happily surprised. I allowed a small smile as I mumbled the incantation. I didn't open my eyes, mostly because I was afraid of the outcome and also because I wished I could go back to that day. I didn't want the memory to end just yet.

A collective gasp made me open my eyes, though. Everyone was looking at me like I had grown a second head. Some people even took a step back. I frowned, what the hell was with them? Slowly, I looked in front of me. There, where my wand was pointing, was a huge silver dog. As in, an incredibly shaggy, wolf-resembling dog. I got so scared my concentration broke and the dog disappeared. But I had already seen it and I also knew what it was. I had dreamt about it for the last three years; I had drawn it quite a lot in the past few months. My patronus was the grim. And everyone was peeved about it. I slowly lowered my wand and turned to look at my mother. Her mouth was in a thin line.

"An Outstanding," Mother's voice rang through the dead-silent room. "Jonathan Kuffman." She called, dismissing me.

I walked slowly back to the crowd. Gryffindor and Slytherins step quickly away from my path, the Slytherins made it in such a mocking way I wanted to slap them in the face. Lily didn't say anything to me as I stood next to her but I could see in her face she was thinking hard about this. I couldn't even force myself to look behind me at the Marauders. The grim as my patronus? What could that possibly mean?

...

Next morning, my friends seemed to have gotten over the fact that my happiest memory had produced an omen of death. In fact, the Marauders hadn't even been affected by it yesterday. Today, they seemed weirdly appeased by it. We were all having breakfast at the same time, but us girls had arrived at the Great Hall much earlier than the boys, so we couldn't sit together. Not that it mattered to me, anyway. Really, it didn't. Suddenly, Marlene gasped out, remembering something.

"Oh! Remember that thing Peter asked me to do?"

Marlene, Lily and I had filled the rest of the girls in on our dilemma of having to find Peter a date. It was surprisingly, well, not so surprisingly, hard. Girls would jump at the opportunity to date James or Remus, even Sirius; it didn't matter that with him it'd probably be for only a day or two. But when it came to Peter... there weren't so many takers. So, when Marlene suggested she actually had someone for Peter, we stopped eating and chatting away.

"Who?" Lily asked, putting her goblet down.

"Hanna Wulff." Marlene announced proudly. "Pureblood Hufflepuff. She's been obsessed with all of us since she read Hogwarts: A Gossip when she was nine. And she's completely in love with the Marauders." Marlene smiled excitedly, clearly thinking our problem was solved.

"That means she'd do pretty much anything." Dorcas pointed out with a smile that would have made the Cheshire Cat proud.

"Exactly!" Marlene nodded. "Also she's pretty much a nobody."

"And dating a Marauder might change that, right?" Alice asked. "I mean... it's a long shot. But she doesn't need to know that."

"Wait, guys," I held up a hand. "Does she even fancy Peter?"

Marlene rolled her eyes. "Who even cares?" she asked, tilting her head to express how annoyed she was with all this hesitance. "She's fourteen; he's seventeen and a Marauder. Trust me, it'll work."

Her tone suggested no room for discussion and it did sound like a good enough plan. Honestly, I had enough problems of my own to be worrying about Peter finding an unlucky girl. We all agreed to intercept Hanna whenever she had a free period, which would most likely be before dinner. Alice would ask around and find Hanna's schedule; Marlene and Lily would tell Peter, Mary would ask Remus to make sure Peter behaved and Dorcas and I would speak to Hanna. And just like that our plan was in motion.