As Expected He Was More Warped Than Most
She closed in on her apartment complex. Her steps were quick and precise, much like that of an experienced speedster... Without the super speed of course. Right now, after the train ride from Kyoto, a Bus ride from the station and not to mention the stress of managing dozens of loudmouthed brats these past couple of days, Hiratsuka Shizuka was Tired with a capital T. Her soul ached for the comfort of her bed and her stomach ached for a nice and warm home cooked meal. The ramen from Kyoto was exquisite though. She ended up buying two servings to go before it was time for them to return from Kyoto. A miso-pork for herself. And the 'Special Limited Time Only', 'Root of all Evil" for her roommate. The cool name was definitely not the reason why she bought it. Nope.
The thing was supposedly seasoned with some pepper from abroad that was recently bred. She did not know it was possible to 'breed' new types of peppers. This pepper was supposedly the spiciest thing in the world at the moment. How much of that claim was true she did not know and honestly? She did not want to find out. One thing was for certain though, this thing cost her quite more money than the average Ramen. So he better be grateful.
The door opened thanks to her unlocking it first. "I'm home!" She said with vigor, ever since having a roommate her greeting upon returning home had been more enthusiastic than normal. Especially this time cause she felt like the bread maker coming home from a tiring business trip to be consoled by her loving husband. She wished it was the other way around but hey, beggars shouldn't be choosers.
She would be lying of she said she didn't like their new living arrangements... Despite the new rules she had to follow.
The newly bought pack of cigarettes in her pocket called out to her. 'Soon my precious. Soon.'
The moment of 'sadness' passed, allowing her to finally notice that she hadn't gotten a reply yet. "Oi, You in there?" Did he head out? He definitely wasn't asleep that's for certain. It wasn't a weekend so he should have been awake hours ago. "Maybe Haruno took him somewhere?" she muttered to herself.
She went deeper into their apartment, it was dark inside. She found that odd, usually he would be up and about at this hour. Either trying to play some games on that beaten up GameBoy he had or just casually watch TV. And by casually she meant him surfing through numerous channels while lasting on something 'moe' or trashy dramas. She shrugged and headed for the kitchen to put the Ramen in the fridge then for her room to put her things and change into something more comfortable. Tired as she was, she didn't want to sleep yet. She considered lighting a cigarette but had to dismiss the idea almost instantly. Knowing him, he would probably badger her about it if he even got the barest of reason to think she smoked in here again. She sat down on the couch and reached for the remote.
Only for her fingers to brush against something larger than a remote.
Startled, Hiratsuka Shizuka looked to her left and saw her roommate, sitting there. "Aaah!" She held her rapidly beating heart. 'He is a ninja! A ninja I tell you!' If she died from that then he'd be an Assassin or something. She sat there for a few more seconds, waiting for her heart to calm itself.
"..." Hachiman didn't seem to have acknowledged her presence yet even though she was sitting right next to it. Which was odd because he was the most observant person she had ever met. He was just sitting there. Almost like a doll, staring blankly at the television which wasn't even turned on. The only movement his body did was the steady rise and fall of his shoulder and chest, letting her know he was still breathing. He was even blinking less than usual as well.
He didn't acknowledge her even when she placed a hand on his shoulder. "Hey..." she forced his body to turn to her. "... You alright?" Her eyes widened as she got a glimpse at his eyes. They were different from his usual eyes. Vacant. As if he wasn't completely there. As if he was literally dead.
It scared her.
He perked up, the vacant look in his eyes disappeared, then looked at her in confusion. There were dark circles under those dead fish eyes of his. "Ah, it's you." Her concern was forgotten momentarily as she took offense in the way he said that. Her lips parted to give him a good talking to. "Welcome back." Despite lacking the warmth she had always fantasized those two words to have when directed to her she let it go. She knew it was the most she'd get from him. For now at least. "What's wrong?" She asked. She knew that there was something wrong because the expression on his face, while not much different from the one he normally held, was different to say the least. If she were to put a word on it then 'Troubled' would be the best way to describe it. Most people probably wouldn't notice it and she felt a bit of pride in herself to be able to. It wasn't easy to understand Kotomine Hachiman but she liked to think she was close to it. But now was not the time to feel pride.
"Nothing is wrong." he replied.
"Then what was... that?" the woman asked, her voice showed concern. "You were just so..."
"Ah, that. I was just waiting." was his tired reply. "It shouldn't take long-" His phone rang but he didn't pick it up. He just looked at it in silence as the delicate piece of outdated technology flashed it's screen on and off repeatedly.
She looked at him with a raised brow. "Not gonna pick that up?" He didn't answer her. The phone kept ringing. It was going to stop ringing in a few seconds.
Her roommate finally picked it up. "Hello." She eyed him as he spoke into the phone, she wasn't close enough to hear what was being said but she could make out a feminine voice coming from the line.
It wasn't Haruno' voice. But the voice definitely belonged to a woman. Not a girl, but a full grown woman.
She froze. Who could he be talking to? She still remembered the day he expressed his 'interest' towards older women that day at the beach. Had he managed to obtain the romantic interest of an older woman while she was away? No! It cannot be! How could this have happened?! She was only gone for a few days! Besides, he is still a minor! 'Wait, doesn't that make me a criminal?!' No wait, she already knew the answer to that.
"I'll be there this weekend for lunch." Hachiman said, the troubled expression on his face got worse."... Love you too Oka-chan."
This homewrecker even had him call her something like that?! This unknown woman must be into some disturbing junk. Hiratsuka seethed on the inside. The water from Otowa was supposed to grant her wishes for romance not trample upon them!
"Who was that?" she asked through her teeth.
"My mother." he replied, looking at her dead in the eye.
She blinked, her anger disappearing and being replaced with confusion. "Your... what?"
"Mother."
"What?"
"Mother."
"What?"
"Mother."
"What?"
Hachiman realized that without giving proper context he had ended up potentially breaking her brain. So he stared at her, prompting her to stare back. "I found my family. My 'real' family."
Her jaw dropped as the words sunk in. "Wh-I... How?... When? This is... This is great! Congratulations!" she hugged him. He didn't hug back though. Not that she expected one from him. They parted. She frowned, noticing his lack of enthusiasm or even the traces of a smile on his face. He found his family but he didn't look happy. He didn't even look like he was satisfied. Wasn't this what he had been searching for all this time? Wasn't this why he had trudged through life till now? Then why... "Aren't you happy?"
"... I don't know." He was happy. When he confirmed his real identity with Komachi in his arms and at certain moments in Destiny Land. But not now. "I thought if I found out who I was then everything would make sense. That he... The real owner of this body would return and I would go back to where I came from. That's what I had hoped the way it would happen. It would be the simplest way for things to play out." No muss, no fuss. The memories of Hikigaya Hachiman would return and Kotomine Hachiman would disappear. Fading into the subconsciousness, allowing Hikigaya Hachiman to take place permanently. And then the rest would be Hikigaya Hachiman' problem. That was his backup plan. Finding his 'purpose' and becoming 'normal' had always been his main goal but with each passing day it seemed more and more out of reach. And after recent events and actions, nigh impossible. His options were limited, hence why the backup plan was becoming his only option. "It is taking longer than I would prefer it to."
She did not like the way he said that. Not one bit. Appalled by those words she spoke. "Oi." Her hand reached for his face to pinched his cheeks. "'Real owner of this body?" She emphasized then pulled harder, he didn't protest the pseudo-abuse but he did respond with a verbal 'ow'. "What kind of nonsense are you babbling on about? Don't be an idiot. You are just as much as you as the 'real' you."
"I... don't understand." Hachiman' brows furrowed. "I do not have any of Hikigaya Hachiman' memories nor the bonds he had with his family. He deserves to be here instead of me. They want him, not-"
"Oh shush." her tight grip on his face finally loosened. His cheeks were a little red from the abuse and they were hurting as much as they appeared to be hurting. He didn't have to rub his cheeks to even out the pain though, because she did it for him with her thumbs. She sighed. 'I should have figured explaining this to him the right way wouldn't work.' No, for someone like him? Things needed to be explained the 'correct' way for the man named Kotomine-Or is that 'Hikigaya' now?- Hachiman to properly understand. "How old were you when you lost your memories?" She asked. The 'logic' in this is would be faulty beyond measure. Perhaps even laughable.
Hachiman looked down to remember for a second, then looked back at her. The bags under his eyes showed how little sleep he had gotten the night previous. "Eleven."
"And how old are you now?" she asked again, not looking away from his scarred face and dead fish eyes.
"Eighteen." he said.
"So that's seven years. Maybe even eight." she surmised. "Meaning you've been the 'owner' of this body for almost as long as him. With that fact on the table, can you say for certain that you don't deserve to be here? That you don't have the right to exist?" That was most definitely the single most roundabout thing she had ever said that probably didn't even make sense. And she taught Japanese Literature for heaven's sake.
"But I... He... His family... Is that... Is that how it works?" he asked, tilting his head a little. But due to her still holding his face in her palms all it felt like he was leaning into her hands. How in the world a near grown man with a face like his could ever look this adorable, Hiratsuka Shizuka didn't know. 'My Apathetic And Psycopathic Roommate/Student Can't Be This Cute!' Her face flushed pink in embarrassment. She pushed it down. Now was not the time for that.
"...Yes." 'Doubt it.' Her lips uttered a word her mind protested against. Existential crises was something a lot of people experienced at least once in their lifetime. It was normal in a sense. But for someone like Hachiman who took matters of his own heart and mind very seriously it was the equivalent of an emotional death sentence. And he had very little of that to begin with. She internally shuddered, thinking back to the moment from earlier. When he was just sitting there. 'Waiting' for his memories to return. Like a doll waiting for someone to play with it, A machine without a purpose. It was a terrifying sight to come across. One she would likely never forget.
"I... see." he looked back down, deep in thought. The bags under his eyes became more noticeable somehow.
"You didn't get enough sleep last night did you?" Her stern expression softened.
"I didn't go to sleep in the first place."
She chuckled at the reply. Without warning she pulled him into her chest. A bold move on her part she had to admit. But she couldn't deny that he needed the rest. She didn't know how long he had been stuck in this near existence crisis of his and she wanted nothing more than to help him through it. Truthfully, she was glad that he spoke to her of it. Not because she had had an interest in him romantically or because she was his teacher. But because she was his friend. Her hand went into his messy locks, gently running through them. He didn't seem to mind the as he let himself fall deeper her embrace. A smile spread across her lips as she noticed his eyes beginning to close. She leaned back till she was lying down on the couch with him on top of her. She tried to put her legs on the couch as well. It wasn't easy nor comfortable but manageable.
She sighed. "Haven't been back for a full hour yet and I'm already this mentally drained." He didn't say anything to that. That was fast. She chuckled "Jeez. What am I gonna do with you." she whispered to herself with a small smile. Looking at him now as he slept in her arms. Hiratsuka Shizuka realized that despite everything, he was still a kid on the inside. 'A lost one that is.' He wrapped his arms around her as best as he could and snuggled deeper into her. Her cheeks flushed pink but she didn't mind. Her eyelids became heavier. "Well... a quick nap... shouldn't hurt."
He patted his chest to check for the contents inside the inner pocket of his Shirt. It was still there.
Koto-Hikigaya Hachiman was not in a good mood. Then again, he nev-rarely was. The reason behind his 'sullen' mood was simple.
He screwed up.
Of all the things he could have done. He had to have done that. What is 'that' you ask? It was something that could potentially ruin him for quite some time. Make everything harder. And that was-
-being late for work...
Yes, he was late for work yesterday and in turn, got a pay cut. Yes, a pay cut. The one thing most, if not all, workers feared to a certain degree. When Hachiman woke up yesterday from his afternoon nap. One he had taken without realizing the time, the sun had already set. He was late for work. Upon that realization he had fallen off the couch. The sleep he got while on it was surprisingly good. When he woke up he was more rested than he had ever been than before. It was weird. He didn't even have the time to dwell on it. When he had gotten to work, he stumbled upon Takeshi who did not look amused at his tardiness.
"Sorry kid. If I don't do something then the rest of the guys are gonna start pulling the same stunt too. I'm gonna have to dock your pay for a couple of months."
Hachiman did not protest. Could not protest. After all, it was he that was in the wrong. He was the one to skip work without prior warning the day previous because of spending time with his family. So to be late literally the day after? That was definitely not good. He accepted it and got to work. Besides, soon he would not be working anymore. All in all he was not in a 'good' mood.
'And I guess my face hurts from being slapped too.' he didn't regret that part. It was a small price to pay for a good night's rest.
The sound of laughter and giggling reached his ears. He opened the door to 2-F and entered, as usual no one noticed him. He went to his seat and sat down. Shizuka should be arriving soon. Motionlessly he waited. The surrounding area became clearer for him to observe. The words of those that were casually speaking along with the whispered monologues of the more socially inept reached his ears. This was a constant in the classroom. However...
'Something is amiss.' he thought to himself, the classroom wasn't as loud as usual. Tobe' voice was the loudest and that was 'normal' but everyone else seemed muted in comparison. They still talked but there was this odd air in the room that he couldn't quite describe. Then again it he didn't really bother trying. He supposed that was a good thing. To him it was a day of class without any unnecessary headaches, so he didn't think about it anymore.
The remainder of school was the same as usual with the exception of Yuigahama greeting him and inviting him to have lunch in the Service Club. He declined the invitation which made her frown a bit. There was something odd about that frown Hachiman couldn't quite describe. He fully expected her to try and convinced him into going but she didn't. That surprised him a little. It was quite unlike her. But no matter, life goes on. Soon enough classes were over for the day and Hachiman found himself packing his things in silence. He had his own problems to worry about. Now that he was reunited with his 'family'. Things were going to change for him. His parents had already convinced him to stop working after this year, saying that he didn't need to 'push' himself anymore And that he should focus on his studies instead. Understandable, most parents would want their children to get a proper education. Which included higher education such as College/University. And to get a chance to go to a decent one, one would need to study immensely. Gain knowledge in order to pass the entrance exam. He supposed that since he would no longer be working he would have more time for studying. For real studying. Personally he still preferred being a house husband but once again, he knew such a thing was more than likely to remain a fantasy.
"Kotomine-kun!" Yuigahama called out to him. He looked at her and blinked. She grabbed his free hand and pulled. "C'mon, Yukinon is waiting for us." He didn't say anything and just nodded. Yuigahama had always been the more emotional one in the Service Club. While Yukinoshita Yukino would prefer to keep hers 'hidden' under false stoicism or less than civil attitude so that no one would 'use it against' her, according to Haruno at least, and he who usually didn't even feel anything. Yuigahama Yui appeared to almost literally wear her emotions in her sleeve. He supposed if one were to put it from an outsider perspective, she was the 'glue' that kept the service club together. Or should he say 'alive'? Simply put, the Service Club had no reputation. Even though the Club had been existing for months many students still didn't even know it existed. Otherwise he was sure that there would have been some students that would have come to the club with the request to help them just to study. Yuigahama was the one that kept conversations going in the club. Her emotions were the easiest for him to read at times. Just like now. She appeared to be stressed. Her stress was quite obvious to him. Not to mention she fast walked. Almost like she was running away from something.. 'Did something happen in class?' He raised a brow but shrugged it off. Whatever it was, it wasn't his problem. Nor will anything related to her after today.
He patted his chest again. What he sought to confirm was still there as it had been since morning.
He pulled out his phone and checked the time. 'Hmm. I still have plenty of time left.' He would still have to make it quick though. A normal person is punctual after all.
Before he knew it the two were in front the place where they spent almost a quarter of their time in school for the past handful of months. Even now, after all this time, this place meant-
"Morning Yukino!" his classmate cheerfully greeted.
"Good afternoon, Kotomine-kun. Yuigahama-san." the president of the Service Club greeted them with a smile on her face. Yukinoshita glanced at the hand that was still holding onto his with wide eyes before correcting her composure. "The tea should be ready by now. I shall go check." She got up. The sound of her chair skidding back filled the room.
Yuigahama let go of his hand and went to her seat. The sound of her chair moving filled the room.
Silence.
By now he would have already started on his homework. "Is something wrong Kotomine-kun? You haven't sat down yet?" Yuigahama asked just as Yukinoshita finished placing the teacups and teapot on the tray.
Hachiman reached inside his shirt and pulled out an envelope then presented it to Yukinoshita with a bow.
Yukinoshita tensed and Yuigahama' jaw dropped. A boy giving a girl something like a sealed envelope could only mean one thing.
'A love letter?!' Both exclaimed in their heads for similar reasons.
"W-W-What? Why?" Despite herself and not having any feelings for the boy in front of her Yukinoshita found herself blushing. Then she remembered that her best friend had a crush on Hachiman and took a step back. Fighting back the blush she coughed to get her voice back then said. "I-I'm flattered you feel that a way Kotomine-kun but I can not accept this. I just don't see you that way."
'What?' While bowing Hachiman' face contorted to that of confusion. "I am... quite certain you don't have a choice in this matter. And I am quite sure I didn't sign any contracts against this." After all, it wasn't like he was doing something illegal. He stood up straight to meet her eyes. "What I do is my business." It wasn't like they were friends or something.
"I don't have a... What?" Now Yukinoshita was confused. Hachiman opened the envelope and gave her the letter. Yukinoshita took it and read the contents. After finishing, her eyes were wide in shock "Y... You're leaving the Service Club?" she asked in pure disbelief. As surprised as she was it wasn't anywhere close to Yuigahama' shock.
"W-What?!" Yuigahama almost yelled. "But why? Why do you want to suddenly leave Kotomine-kun?" The other two were surprised by the desperation in her voice. "You can't leave!"
Hachiman raised a brow at Yuigahama' reaction to him quitting. 'I see. So that is how it is.' Either it was that or Yuigahama was better at hiding away her feelings than he thought. 'She hid her true intentions of being here well. Perhaps even better than our president here.' Regardless of their feelings. "Why not? I have nothing to gain from being here any longer." Come to think of it, what was the point of joining again? Why did he stick around in the first place? Oh right, seeing Yukinoshita Yukino struggle with 'helping' people. Not to mention Shizuka had basically commanded him to stay.. The former hadn't really gotten him anywhere. 'That turned out to be more boring than I thought.' Her luck was almost the complete opposite of his so he should have figured out she wouldn't have struggled enough to properly entertain him. The latter was no longer an issue. The woman had already acknowledged the girls would be incapable of fixing his problem. His 'problem' was simply beyond their 'skill level'
"G-gain?" Yukinoshita' face darkened. A scowl ruined her beautiful face. "You mean to say... you only joined because you had a hidden agenda?"
"Of course." Hachiman replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Similar to you two, I remained here for a selfish reason of my own. I no longer have that reason, therefore there is no purpose for me to fulfill by being here." He didn't have a reason since the end of Summer, when he and Haruno became friends. But he stayed because he didn't have a proper reason to leave either. Now he did. It was as simple as that.
"W-Wait Kotomine-kun-" Yuigahama tried to speak but Yukinoshita beat her to it.
"Selfish reason like me?" Yukinoshita looked at Hachiman as if the boy had grown too heads. "The rot of your eyes must be spreading to your brain Kotomine-kun. How can helping others be selfish?" Much like the day they first met, those words were meant to hurt. Either she forgot who she was speaking to or she did not care.
"Inherently there isn't anything that is selfless. Even the act of helping others is born from a selfish desire. Feeling good about oneself would be the most common one. Duty would come right after," Those were the ones Hachiman could think of from the top of his head. The thought of helping others needlessly didn't appeal to him but he knew it was the 'right' thing to do. The normal thing to do. Hence why he too did it every now and then. "I never had any problem with with what you do here if that's what you're making such an angry face for. Ultimately you are helping people, the reason behind it is irrelevant to me as it should be to anyone else. It's just that, so long as it doesn't involve or effect me, what you do is your problem. I apologize if I ever gave you any other impressions." Had he been any other person. Heck, Had he been Hikigaya Hachiman from the start then maybe they would have been able to form some odd unspoken 'bond' between them. Maybe even enter a romantic relationship with one of them. Both girls were certainly attractive enough. Unfortunately Kotomine Hachiman turned Hikigaya Hachiman felt nothing for them. For Kotomine Hachiman turned Hikigaya Hachiman, such nonsense was utter garbage disguised as a 'reason'. An excuse to maintain an illusion.
"W-Wait guys!" Yuigahama tried to stop them. "There's no need to fight. We can sort this out if we like. Just talk about it?" To her this was the Cultural Festival all over again.
"Fight?" Hachiman looked at them confused. 'When did that happen?' He knew she meant a metaphorical fight, not a physical one. But still, he wasn't that slow. He would have noticed if he entered a verbal debate. "We're fighting?" A part of him wanted to 'continue' the 'fight'. Just to see how they would react. But he squashed that down. Komachi wouldn't like a brother like that. She deserved better.
When Yukinoshita looked at that face, she realized that she had jumped to conclusions once again and there were no malicious intent hidden behind the things he said. All he did was state facts, something Yukinoshita Yukino could always respect. Even if it was at the cost of herself. She took a deep breath.
Yuigahama smiled in relief. Though she averted a crisis, She was still sad. But not as sad as she probably should have been. She had always known that their time in the Service Club wouldn't have lasted for long. Considering how Hachiman was, it was a given that he would have left eventually. 'Yukinon probably knew too... First what happened at Kyoto and now this.' Felt like everything she held dear was crumbling apart. And she could do nothing about it on either of the matters.
"Kotomine-kun..." Yukinoshita started before sitting down. The look of defeat on her face was not missed by Yukinoshita. "I apologize for raising my voice like that. I should have known by now you don't do things without a reason to..." She looked saddened by his decision. "If you truly wish to leave I will not stop you. But if there was a way for you to stay... " She trailed, looking at him with hopeful eyes. She never got along that well with him but she hadn't truly hated or disliked him or the time they had spent around each other since their initial meeting. Ultimately, Kotomine Hachiman was someone she could say she genuinely respected. Maybe even considered a frie-
"Kotomine-kun." Yuigahama stepped up to Hachiman and grabbed his sleeve. "Please don't leave." She knew he would do so either way but she had still had to try. Once again, Hachiman found her devotion to be admirable. And as foolish as it was, Hachiman would never fault one for actually trying. "I... we don't want you to leave."
"But why?" he asked. He already knew the answer to that. But still asked. Most people don't realize it. Just as 'Knowing' and 'Understanding' were different things. 'Knowing' and 'being' were different as well. Such as a person 'knowing' that another person committed a crime despite it being completely false. Besides, it never hurts to confirm something. They say actions speaks louder than words, but they never say that actions are easier to misinterpret than words as well. "It's not like we're friends. We're barely acquaintances." His words were harsh but true. The girls knew it. It was why they flinched when he said it. In all the months they had been together, they barely talked about each other's home life. The girls didn't ask and he didn't say. They talked to him more than they originally started out as but not about themselves or their problems. Just random things that didn't truly matter. If not that, it was about Club activities. Friends share their burdens and worries with each other. Friends care for each other's wellbeing. Friends don't do things that would hurt one another for no reason. That's how friendship worked. Real friendship. He couldn't bother himself with fake ones. Not with his already hectic schedule. It was one of the reasons why it took him so long to realize Yoshiteru as a friend.
"You're right. We're not friends." Yuigahama said before glancing at her friend. "But we want to be friends. Wi-With you I mean." The way he looked at her made her stutter. She looked away, her face beginning to match the shade of her hair. To her it seemed as if his eyes were peering into her soul.
"Is that so..." He looked at Yukinoshita with a raised brow. "Do you feel the same way Yukinoshita-san?"
"W-What?" Yukinoshita froze, taken aback from suddenly being put into the spot like that. She did. She did want to be friends with him. To have another real friend like Yuigahama. But she was afraid of appearing weak. Of being used again. "I... I..." He patiently waited for her response... It seemed like it was only yesterday that 'expecting stare' of his reminded her of her own mother. And unintentionally setting her on edge. She looked back at his eyes. It didn't have to be that way. It only was because she allowed it to be. Only because she was too afraid take that step. The step of-"Yes." It felt as if a heavy weight came off her shoulders."I wish to be your friend as well." She failed to look at him as she spoke. Was it embarrassment or just the fear of being rejected?
Both. Definitely both. Both were true.
"I see... Very well then." he said. He turned to them completely. Yuigahama smiled, thinking that he was no longer going to leave. "Kotomine Hachiman is not my real name." The other two blinked. What was he-? "Kotomine is the name I had borrowed from someone else. I have no memories of before being eleven years old. Up until two days ago I was an orphan and did not know if I had a family. I rarely feel emotions and when I do it is due to questionable reasons. My lack of empathy forces me to prefer the logical over the sentimental on most occasions. My greatest desire is to find my purpose and my greatest 'fear' is to fail at becoming a normal person. My real name is Hikigaya Hachiman. I have a younger sister and two workaholic parents. There are four people I consider my friends. Zaimokuza Yoshiteru, Totsuka Saika, Hiratsuka Shizuka and Yukinoshita Haruno. There isn't anything I particularly hate. And I like spoiling my younger sister." He finished. Hachiman was never much of a secretive a secretive person. Should anyone ask and he would see no proper reason to lie or be roundabout then he would certainly speak things the way they were. "That is all there is to know about me." All that mattered about him at least. The rest he was forbidden to tell. He looked at the two.
Stunned by so many revaluations about their mysterious club mate at once, the girls couldn't find their voices for what felt like hours. Even though it was only seconds in real time. They hadn't even been able to process half of what he said before spoke again.
"Your turn." he said, catching the girls off guard. He took a step forward which had Yuigahama taking a step back involuntarily. It happened so quickly that Yuigahama almost fell down but fortunately Hachiman caught her before such a thing could happen.
"W-What?" the pinkette managed to utter out in confusion.
He let go of her. "Friends are those that share their burdens and secrets with you. That ask you about your problems. And even if you don't, they force themselves into your problems. So that you won't have to suffer alone. And you would be the same for them... A friend would stand by you in your time of need. A friend would help you even if they get hurt doing so. That is what real friends do." He said. "I've shared my 'burdens' with you. It's your turn now."
Dozens of questions ran through Yuigahama' mind. Yukinoshita' wasn't much different. All relating to the things he said about himself. They sounded ridiculous. Nonsensical even. But they both knew that Kotomine (Or is that 'Hikigaya' now?) Hachiman was not the type to make things up.
"It's your turn now." Hachiman repeated himself. Yuigahama was the first to snap out of her trance. He stared at her intently. She opened her mouth but words did not come out. She just wasn't sure what to say. Especially after the things he said. Her first instinct was to make something up. Something similar to Hachiman' life. But not too 'tragic' to seem like she was trying to 'one up' him. But the look in his eyes told her to speak the truth. He wouldn't unnecessarily judge. He wasn't like that. "I-I'm... Yuigahama Yui. My Oka-san's a housewife and Otou-san's an office worker." Her reluctance turned to embarrassment. She felt like a toddler introducing herself to her elementary school classmates again. Such an embarrassing thing to do at her age. "I like to hang out with my friends. I like my parents and I... um..."
"Go on." he nodded at her, encouraging her to continue.
"What I'm afraid of most is being... hated." she muttered. But it was loud enough for everyone in the room to hear her.
Behind her, Yukinoshita blinked. She didn't know her best(and only) friend had such a fear. She could see it though. It was only natural for people to not want to be alone or hated. Once upon a time she too had that fear. But that was a long time ago.
"I always had this urge to want to get along with everyone. Do whatever it took to make sure no one saw me in a bad light. When I was a kid, I used to play house with my friends. I would end up playing the dog cause my friends wanted to be the mama and papa. But I always wanted to play the mama. At least once." Yuigahama looked sad as she spoke. The sadness in her tone disappeared, replaced by a her usual happy go lucky attitude. "B-But maybe that's cause of my upbringing you know? Mama always says that I should be nice to everyone!"
'An act.' Hachiman surmised. It was all an act. His eyes widened ever so slightly. 'So that is why she joined.' She wanted to get over her habit of being pushed over by others. To rid herself of the fear of being hated. 'That was why she joined the Service Club. The exact opposite of the other one.' The irony just kept on getting thicker with the unlikely friendship of Yuigahama Yui and Yukinoshita Yukino. He turned to the latter. "And you?"
Yukinoshita, who kept silent all this time, was in deep thought. She struggled to put it into words. She knew what she wanted to say. Just not how she wanted to say it... 'Do I even want to?'
She froze as unease, discomfort and fear took hold. Normally, such emotions would be ruthlessly squashed down. Allowing unladylike behavior to slip through as a defense mechanism. "Aa... I..." Why was it so hard to say speak? Had she really been that afraid of showing her true self to others that thinking of showing it to others alone made her entire being hurt this much?
Hachiman blinked in realization. 'Wait, what time is it?'
"Yukinon?" Yuigahama left Hachiman' side and went closer to her friend. Placing a comforting hand on Yukinoshita' own, she spoke. "It's okay if you don't want to talk about it."
Hachiman checked his phone for the time.
"No, I'm okay." Yukinoshita swallowed. Her mind was made. Both of her club members had already said their piece. She couldn't back out now."
He put his phone back into his pocket. He wasn't late just yet.
"My name is Yukinoshita Yukino." said girl closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "My Otou-san is the CEO of Yukinoshita Constructions and my Oka-san is a Politician. My Nee-san is the heiress of the family business and currently studying at college." Her face flushed pink "I like Pa... Pan-san and Cats." Her embarrassed expression changed. "I dislike lies. I hate... my family. And..."
Silence followed after that. Hachiman was beginning to regret this whole 'becoming friends with Yuigahama and Yukinoshita' thing. It would be rude to say this but-
"... my greatest fear is being hated by my family."
There was a look of regret in her face, Hachiman noted. 'At least she is aware of her hypocrisy now.' Hypocrite, Yukinoshita Yukino had always been a hypocrite in his eyes. That in itself was of no issue to him. For he too was a hypocrite in many ways. He knew and accepted it. She however, had not. Instead she had been parading it around, flaunting her genuineness. As if it was something to be proud of. 'Perhaps there is a future for this girl after all.' He found himself feeling... disappointed in that revaluation of her character. If anything, it just made him leave even more.
A weight came off her shoulders. For the first time in what appeared to be the longest time, Yukinoshita Yukino felt... better. Not good. But better. It was an odd feeling. But she found herself incapable of complaining.
"Then I suppose this makes us all friends." Hachiman' monotonous voice pierced the tender atmosphere that had coated the room. "I bid you two a good day." He bowed slightly before heading for the door.
"Wait what?!" Yuigahama turned around to see his retreating form. Even Yukinoshita stood up from her chair, alarmed.
"Yes?" Hachiman held back the annoyed sigh that dared to escape his lips. 'What is it now?'
"You're still leaving?" Yukinoshita asked in disbelief. Her body shook a little. 'Did I misunderstand again?' After all that? After the way she had put herself out there like that?!... She hadn't felt this vulnerable since elementary school. Since the day Hayato had-
"Of course." Hachiman stated. "Our newborn friendship does not change much. My departure has nothing to do with either of you. Even if we had been friends since the day we first met, my decision to leave right now would not have changed." It was only logical wasn't it? For that which was more important to be prioritized over the that which wasn't as important? "I must hurry. If I take any longer my sister would end up waiting for me to take her home." Now that shouldn't be allowed to happen. It need not be said that Komachi' happiness mattered over all else. It was merely fact. One his 'father' would wholly agree on. "I will see you both for our trip to the zoo." He didn't even let them get a word in as he left the two stunned and confused girls behind.
Hachiman walked faster than normal. He had ended up taking too long with the girls in the Club. And now he may end up being late in picking up Komachi from school. He set foot at the shoe racks and went towards his shoe locker. His outdoor shoe waited for him inside it. Ready to be worn and used to pick up his adorable little sis-
"Kotomine-san."
Hachiman stopped. A flash of frustration passed through his very being. If anyone saw him at that moment they would most likely take a step back as cautionary measure. He calmed himself down to avoid a scene. It wouldn't do good if he punched an underclassman or upperclassman-
"Kotomine-san. Do you have a minute? I need your advice."
Hachiman turned to see Hayama standing not far from him and almost regretted not punching him. Again. 'Do these people have no one else to bother in this entire damned school or something?' He swore to himself. It was always one stupid crap after another with them. And he was the one they chose to inconvenience rather than the numerous teachers who were likely be so better qualified at helping them. "Yes Hayama-san?" He made sure to let his displeasure know in his tone. If anything, at least to let the blonde know he wanted this to end as quickly as possible. "You wish to speak?"
Hayama, wearing the winter version of the football club uniform, was more than a little taken aback by the instant hostility and swallowed. "Yes. I need your help in something. Something only you can-"
"Stop." Hachiman interrupted.
The interruption made Hayama blink in confusion. First The irritated greeting and now this. The two of them rarely spoke so they weren't exactly on 'friendy terms' and despite their opposite personalities they weren't 'enemies' either. So Hayama couldn't think of anything that he could have done to upset Hachiman.
"I am in a bit of a hurry. So if I don't consider whatever it is that you need me for to not be worth my time I will leave." His voice was firm. Komachi should be finishing up with the student council in a little bit.
"I..." Hayama was left at a loss for words. He tried to summarize it the best way he could. "The Kyoto trip did not end well." The blond took Hachiman' silence as a chance to elaborate further. "Do you remember our first night at summer camp?" The memory of what happened the following day still made Hayama wince. "Tobe told us that he had a crush on Hina." Hayama was certain Hachiman remembered her. One doesn't really forget the person that directed what was basically a fourth rate homosexual drama with that 'one' as the main lead. "I was pretty sure he would never act on it but... He confessed to her in Kyoto. In front of almost everyone in our class."
Seeing Hayama' expression made Hachiman raise a brow. He didn't completely understand what Hayama was getting at here. But he was able to understand enough to tell that Hayama didn't want that to happen. Regardless, it wasn't his problem. Also He was no longer a part of the service Club so he wasn't compelled to do it by duty and logic either. He opened his mouth to decline Hayama' request and leave but his eyes and ears informed him something that prevented that from happening. He knew he shouldn't be doing this but... "I see. So you didn't want Tobe-san to confess his feelings of affection for Ebina-san?" He asked for clarification.
Hayama nodded. "He didn't even tell me he was going to do it. Out of the blue he just... did it." It was unbelievable for Hayama. Most people wouldn't believe it but Tobe wasn't as brash or confident as he appeared to be. He would have definitely asked Hayama for advice before doing something so drastic. And Hayama was sure he would have nodded along with an uneasy smile. Wearing the guise of a supportive friend.
"Why not?" Hachiman asked the golden boy.
"Because everything is falling apart now. Hina has been distant since then. Ooka and Yamato outright avoids us because of the awkward conversations we have. At this rate... our friendship will be broken." Hayama gritted his teeth in frustration.
'Hasn't it just been two days since this supposed confession?' Hachiman internally calculated. Yes, it was two days. If two days of 'ignoring' was enough to be concerned then was it even worthy of being called friendship? "I see. I don't know how to help you with this. I don't even see anything in need of fixing. And it's not like Tobe-san did anything bad. After all, he simply saw something he desired and attempted to obtain it." If anything, Tobe Kakeru should be praised. After all, from what Hachiman gathered over the years of being the middle/highschool student. It apparently took a lot of courage to confess your feelings of affection for someone. And like Yukinoshita Yukino liked to say, 'Those who don't put in the effort shouldn't expect nor deserve the results they desire.' Or something like that, sometimes the things they said just went through one ear and out the other for him... Come to think of it, he would have to pay attention to them from now on wouldn't he?
Hayama deflated. Of course he didn't blame Tobe for this. The boy just went with his heart. But... after all the time and effort he spent to maintain the status quo. To see it fall apart so easily was... "If only he had told me about it before confessing." he muttered. His heart was heavy with guilt for what he would have done to his friend had Tobe told him. But he had to, he had no choice. The only other option was this. And so far, this wasn't going so well. He couldn't go to the Service Club for help. Yui was there. She would surely disapprove. Ans with her knowing, soon enough word would spread around in all of 2-F. 'And even if she's absence for some reason and Yukino were to find out then...'
*Sniff*Sniff* "Why didn't you do anything Hayato-kun?"
Hayama' jaws clenched at the memory of the girl he had wronged. The guilt in his heart increased tenfold. Even after all this time, he still couldn't forget.
Hachiman, thanks to his keep ears picked up on it. "Oh? And what would've you done if he told you about his confession before confessing?" he asked. His eyes staring at Hayama' direction.
Hayama was surprised Hachiman picked up on his mutterings. The blonde thought for a second. He didn't want to say it. But if he did. To someone, to anyone. Then maybe the guilt wouldn't feel as terrible as it did. He took in a deep breath and closed his eyes. When he opened them, his eyes were filled with shame. With his eyes focused on the floor, he spoke. "I guess I would have tried to stop it somehow. In a way that didn't let Tobe know I disapproved-"
Thump-Thump-Thump-Thuthuthuuump*
A ball rolled towards Hayama' direction till it stopped next to his feet.
"Hayato..."
The Golden Boy of Sobu froze on the spot. Hesitantly he began turning. And when he was done, he came face to face with Tobe Kakeru. The blistering cold fear that grabbed Hayama' heart threatened to claim him. "T-Tobe? I... How... How long have you been there?"
Tobe didn't answer, instead he looked down. His face held the emotion of disbelief on it. "I... I was heading to the club room after goofing off with the guys in the field." He looked at Hayama, his eyes held shower mething Hayama had seen before. Something that haunted him to this very day. "I... did you really think that little of our friendship?" He asked. "That something so little could break us apart?"
Hayama couldn't speak. His voice was stuck in his throat. He wanted to say that it already was breaking them apart. But... Why couldn't he say it?
"I mean, yeah I guess it changes things a little. And yea getting rejected hurts like hell but I wasn't going to stop hanging out with you guys. Even if Hina said yes. And you could have just told me that you didn't want me to go after her back in Chiba Village. I would have backed off. It's not like she's the only girl I've ever laid eyes on. Heck I was rejected a lot of times before!" After that outburst Tobe was left unsure of what to feel. He was just so... lost. His eyes widened in realization. "Is that why you guys have been acting all weird lately?... And to think I've been trying to keep things the same way, when you guys were just trying to distance yourself from the beginning." His confusion became bitter frustration. He laughed. The laughter had no humor in it. "I probably looked like an idiot to you guys, huh?"
"N-No. Tobe, listen. This is all a big-" Hayama grasped at straws.
"I'm going home." Tobe interrupted coldly. It was unlike him. Hayama hadn't thought Tobe to be capable of such a tone. "I... I need to think." The teen pushed passed a shell shocked Hayama Hayato, not even bothering to get his outdoor shoes or change out of his PE uniform.
The stunned Hayama Hayato tried to think of a way. A way to salvage this crisis. But just like last time. Just like Yukino had told him in Chiba Village... He couldn't do anything.
"I suppose this is what they call irony."
A bitter smile forced his way onto Hayama' face. Yes... It was ironic, in his attempt to keep things the same, to not 'rock the boat', he ended up turning it over upside down...
Wait...
...
...
His eyes widened as he turned to Hachiman so fast he got a miniature whiplash. 'He's still here...' Yes, Kotomine Hachiman was still there...
And he was smiling.
Anger filled Hayama. He didn't think he was capable of feeling this angry. First Tobe' cold tone and now this. A lot of impossible things were happening today. And so...
The amused smile on Hachiman' face disappeared when Hayama grabbed him by the placket of his shirt and tried to push him back against the shoe lockers. Key word being tried. Hachiman had positioned right dominant leg back just in time to prevent that from happening. He looks at the blond with a raised brow.
"You." Hayama spat out. "You knew he was there." That was not a question.
"I did." Hachiman replied. Why lie? It wasn't like he did anything wrong. "So?"
"You used me." Hayama scowled. "Manipulated me! If you hadn't done that then Tobe wouldn't have found out!"
"That's what you call manipulation? No wonder you call Haruno a 'monster'. Don't get ahead of yourself. Even if he wasn't there our conversation would have played out the same. If you want to play the blame game. Then blame yourself and your paranoia." Hachiman said in a bored tone. 'So this is what they call a drama queen.' He'd heard of the term numerous times in the past, both in fiction and reality, but always thought it too be too stupid for people to act like. He thought incorrectly apparently.
Hayama growled. "Stay away from them." Hayama pushed Hachiman again, Hachiman' foothold on the ground weakened, allowing the blond to finally have Hachiman' back against the shoe lockers. Hachiman' eyes narrowed dangerously at Hayama while one of his his hand went into a side pocket. "I may be afraid of you but if you hurt my friends then I'll-!"
"What's going on here?!"
Unlike Hayama who looked like a deer in headlights. Hachiman casually spoke, his face void of emotions as usual. "Good evening Kyouya-sensei." Hachiman greeted the PE teacher. Hayama decided that was high time for him to let go of his classmate. "Can we help you?" At least it wasn't Shizuka, she was probably still a bit mad at him for what happened in the morning.
"Yeah, you can tell me why you two were about to fight!" The man glared at the two. Behind him, Hachiman could see a brownish orange haired girl hiding around the corner. 'An underclassman?' It didn't take a genius to figure out what happened.
"Fight?" Hachiman asked. "We weren't fighting. Hayama-san here was just dusting off some dirt from my shirt." He turned to the blond. "Right Hayama-san?"
Hayama quickly responded, looking at the teacher he said. "Yes sir."
Kyouya glared at the two. Without there being any actual signs of conflict, something he could present to other teachers he couldn't directly intervene. "I better not hear you two got injured 'accidentally'." The man's nostrils flared. "I got my eyes on you two." The man turned to leave.
After the man left Hachiman spoke. "I quit the Service Club. If you need help with things, go to them. I won't be of use to you."
With his adrenaline worn off and emotions a lot more under control, Hayama glared at Hachiman one last time. "This conversation isn't over." And left.
Hachiman rolled his eyes. It was indeed true that he knew Tobe was there, listening in on their conversation. But it was also true that the flow of the conversation would have remained the same even if Tobe wasn't there."But to think their so called 'friendship' was so fragile..." It reminded him of something from middle school. The edge of his lips twitched as a chuckle forced it's way through... The 'show' they displayed certainly was amusing to him. Hayama' look of despair as he saw his world crumbling around him. Tobe' expression of sadness as Hayama' betrayal became clearer to him.
His phone rang. Checking the caller ID he recognized it as Komachi' number. "Yes. I am coming. Was just a little side tracked is all."
-Chapter End-
I didn't hate this as much as I thought I would have. I considered having Hachiman and Hayama brawl it out once but felt like that would complicate things, especially with Hachiman' particular brand of thinking.
It amazes me how much of the problems in Oregairu are basically due to the lack of proper communication. Seriously, its almost comical. Well either ways. But I guess that's why people praise this thing as 'realistic' or something like that. Just one more chapter(sort of) and I'll free.
Bonus Scene(Title: Good Night's Rest)
Hiratsuka Shizuka sighed in relief as her back landed on her bed. School days were always tiring. Students thought they had it rough? Well they had seen nothing yet. They'll realize how good they have it right now when they hit Twenty Five. Heck maybe even earlier.
The lights were already turned off. He body twisted and turned to find a comfortable position to fall asleep in. Her blanket moved along with the motions, 'trapping' her underneath it. 'It's gonna start snowing soon.' she thought to herself. She'd have to bring out thicker blankets from the closet And maybe go shopping for some winter clothes. Her mother had been badgering her about it, saying that she should start wearing better clothes or Hachiman would start losing interest in her. "Jeez." Even though she already told her mother they weren't like that.
"Then what is it like?" her mother asked with a raised brow.
"It's complicated." she answered.
Then came the emotional blackmail about wanting to see grandkids before she lost her eyesight and such. Her mother really needed to butt out of her love life. She's a grown woman damn it!
"Hah." she sighed. It wasn't like she could tell the truth about her relationship with her roommate. What would she say? "Oh hey mom, I'm living with my eighteen years old roommate who's mental state is questionable at best and is also one of my students?" Yeah, no. That was a can of worms she did not even want to go near. Last thing she needed was a criminal record. If that happens then she'll never get married. She closed her eyes and went to sleep.
The clock struck midnight. The door to the apartment opened not long after that. In came a man with dead fish eyes. He was as tired as he was hungry. He freshened up and sat down on the dinner table where the dinner prepared by his roommate was awaiting him.
With Dinner resting in his stomach, he headed for his bedroom. But he didn't enter. Instead he looked at another door. Leading to another bedroom.
'Well I suppose I did get a pay cut because of her... In a sense she owes me.' He was too tired to actually care about the utter stupidity of that line of thought.
Or maybe he just wanted another refreshing nap. Who knows.
He entered a bedroom not his own, completely unprepared for the slap he would receive next morning.
Omake(Title: Trusted Ally)
He didn't know how or why he ended up here. He didn't even know where here even was. Seemed like some sort of conference room. But what kind of conference room had teen's deciding things? Teens who were not only indecisive but also prone to doing stupid things for no particular reason. The mere thought of it gave him a headache.
But of course, it didn't end there. No sir, if it did then his Luck Stat wouldn't be so low now would it? It would be too easy wouldn't it?
"I just think we should do something that's a little more INNOVATIVE."
Truly, his ugly luck was a plague in his life. He swore, whatever diety that looked after him really did hate him.
"And through such we can all enjoy the ESSENCE of CHRISTMAS."
"Senpai..." a girl sitting next to him peeked at him from the corner of her eye. Her tone resembled that of a kicked puppy. Pleading for release from this torture. It seemed she too was getting sick of this. He didn't know who the girl was, but since she called him senpai. It meant she was an underclassmen. Meaning she was younger than him. Meaning it was his duty, both as a Senpai and as a person, to help her. He nodded at her. Her brows furrowed at him for his odd response.
He checked his pockets for his most trusted Ally. He had it the last time he checked but that was before 'magically' ending up here. If it couldn't help him then nothing could. It helped him with many issues in the past. And would likely continue doing so in the future. Oh hey there it is.
"That's not a bad idea. But let's continue BRAINSTORMIN-"
SPREEEEEWWWW-CHEW*
The teen stopped mid sentence then looked at his palms.
There was duct tape stuck to it.
It all happened so fast that no one could stop it but the next thing the teen knew, his hands were basically tied under numerous layers of duct tape. The teen looked at the one responsible in shock. "W-What is this?!"
"Now then. Let's start from the beginning." He ignored the confused teen and the surprised looks of basically everyone.. They needed to start from the beginning since he had no clue what this was about.
"L-Look here." the teen lost control of the room so fast it lleft him stuttering. "You're not the one REPRESENTING-"
"If you don't speak normally from now on you won't be speaking at all." He threatened the teen, his roll of Duct Tape nearing the teen's face. The teen backed away in fear. He looked at the rest of the teenagers in the room, daring them to start something stupid. No one did, that was good. It meant his headache could finally get better. "Good. Let's make this quick."