Chapter 21:

Valentine's Day was absolute rubbish. Thanks to Sirius I got an Outstanding in the Potion's exam, but my excitement was outlived by the awkward tension surrounding our group. Sirius and I had woken up in a tangle of limbs and my face had flushed so red I was sure anyone would've been able to see it even if I were standing in the Astronomy Tower. Sirius' cheeks had also been tainted with red but he had smirked at me with a look in between smugness and mischief, so I still felt more embarrassed. That was not the worst thing that morning; while Sirius and I were still looking at each other, with our arms entwined, our friends decided it was the best day to go down to the Common Room at the same time. I would never outlive the teasing. Dorcas, the only one who knew my secret even if I was certain Lily and Marlene suspected it, gushed about that had meant Sirius fancied me back the rest of the week so much so that I started to believe her. My hope rose. It was crushed on Valentine's Day.

Sirius appeared at the Three Broomsticks with Artemisia Coelho, who was considered to be the most beautiful seventh year Gryffindor, even more so than Ariadne. He paraded her around, letting her snog him like today was their last day on earth. I felt like everybody was staring at me with pity. It didn't help that I was apparently the only one without a date. The Three Broomstick had been decorated with lots of red hearts in all sizes imaginable and the menu consisted of the most mouth-watering sweets-based dishes.

Everything looked and smelled amazing, more than amazing. It didn't help that everyone had opted to eat the unhealthiest food there was, with lots of melted chocolate, dark, white and milk, and hard candy over what seemed like a gigantic biscuit, muffins of several flavours, from blueberry to corn to pineapple, topped with cream that seemed irresistible. The cream had been dyed magically so that it changed colours once in a while, especially when it arrived in front of the person that was about to eat it. There was cotton candy, some other biscuits in the form of broken hearts that would come to life and dance around each other until they met and became a fully healed heart—that one made me want to vomit.—pink fudge, and so many others I had trouble keeping track. My friends had worn a smile in their faces the entire time. Peter hadn't come, saying he would feel out of place, and while I hadn't agreed with him, I had begun to see what he meant the moment we walked into Hogsmeade.

The Wizarding World had a habit of going all out on the festivities and Valentine's Day, though a relatively short one, was no exception. Remus had gone with Mary, Dorcas with some Ravenclaw boy, Alice with Frank and Marlene with Tony. James and Lily had claimed they were not on a date and that I could hang out with them, but, oh, it was definitely a date, even if neither of them knew it. So, I was a very obvious third wheel, feeling like a swollen toe. Sirius and Artemisia had sat two tables across from us three, and I had had to divert my eyes so I wouldn't stare. And all that time by myself in the most romantic day, in the most romantic place not only made me wallow in misery, but it had me wondering how things would have been different if Fabian Prewett had been alive. So, yes, it had all added up to the lousiest Valentine's Day imaginable. And I had upped and left without looking back.

Now, that eventful week had been three weeks ago and as March moved on and Easter approached, my love towards Sirius grew but so did my heartbreak. I was head over heels while he was completely oblivious. Of course it was my fault, considering I did nothing but avoid him.

Now Remus and I were sitting in the hallway of the seventh floor, lying against the stone wall and pretty much doing nothing. He was telling me how much he actually hated butterflies, and I couldn't help but laugh at the idea of Remus Lupin, one of the few people I knew that could see the good in everything and everyone, hating butterflies.

"But they're adorable, Remus!" I laughed, shaking my head.

"Have you ever seen them up close?" Remus countered. "They're not adorable, they're bloody disgusting." I giggled, giving him that. They were kind of disgusting if you looked at them too closely. "And the way they have huge black soulless eyes like... like Dementors!"

"So now I know never to get you sugared butterflies for Easter." I commented, trying hard not to cry with laughter and failing.

"I prefer chocolate." Remus reminded me.

"I know." I sent him a smile, turning on my spot to face him. "That's why I have a huge stash up in my dorm for tomorrow morning."

Today was the full moon and even if it was still morning, I knew Remus was nervous about it. Remus' easy smile tensed but he nodded and I could see in his eyes he appreciated it. The sound of footsteps made us turn around to see James and Sirius round the corner. James' glasses where halfway down the bridge of his nose and his hair was a mess, as if he had been running his hands through his hair several times. I didn't waste much time with him, though, for my eyes jumped straight to Sirius. I almost jumped out of my skin when my eyes met his. In an attempt to do anything but look at him, I averted my eyes downwards. James commented how they'd looked for Remus everywhere before finding us here, to which Remus asked why he hadn't used the Map. I didn't pay much attention, to be honest, way too aware of Sirius being just a few feet away. So all I did was stare at the same spot. It took me a few seconds to realize that in my haste to not make eye contact with Sirius, my eyes had landed on his crotch, given it was a very attractive crotch but still, good lord. I squeezed my eyes shut, rushing to get up from the ground.

"I forgot I've got class in about five seconds." I rushed through my words, not looking at anyone. "Later." I called, walking down the hallway quick as a cat.

That had been a perfect safe, considering I truly had to get to class. I managed to not get too distracted in Ancient Runes, but it was barely possible. Sirius Black invaded my every thought, he practically lived inside my head and, like the stupidly romantic girl I was, all I really did was daydream of him coming to his senses and proclaiming his undying love for me. Clearly that wouldn't happen any time soon but a girl can dream. I was honestly this close to writing 'Mrs. Meredith Black' inside a heart at the back of my notebook.

"Oi, Meredith!" a voice called as I walked down the moving stairs, hoping they wouldn't move before I reached my destination. "Wait!"

I halted and turned, watching Joseph rush down the flight of stairs until he reached me.

"I wanted to know," he panted, passing a hand above his brow. "If we can meet tomorrow before breakfast at the library?"

"What for?" I asked, not following his track of thought.

"The—the Runes assignment?" Joseph blinked, suddenly nervous.

"Right." I remembered. I had totally forgotten. "Sure, see you there."

I sent him a smile before walking away.

I got up really early, hating myself for ever saying yes to Joseph. Marlene was snoring loudly as I passed her on my way down. I rolled my eyes, lucky her she got to sleep in. Why would he even want to meet so early? Merlin, the sun was just coming up. Deciding it was still way too early, I returned to the window sill between my bed and Marlene's and sat down. The morning mist covered most of the grass, hovering like a shapeless ghost. I could see the Whopping Willow from here. It was still relatively small but it was amazing how much it had grown in just six years and a half. I really just sat there, watching the sun go up, pressing my forehead against the cold glass so I wouldn't fall asleep. But that's when I saw something really strange. Somewhere close to the huge willow, a wolf came out. A wolf that looked a lot like the one in my dreams. I blinked, swearing up and down that I had just hallucinated it. But when I opened my eyes it was still there, looking behind. I opened the window and leaned forward, trying to look better. It tilted its head forwards and rushed into the Forbidden Forest like it was a day to day thing. So I thought that was that and started to close the window. There were all types of things in the Forbidden Forest and I supposed that included creepily huge wolves. But something moved in my peripheral vision and I turned back, leaning on the open window's handle. There was a bloody stag walking around as if nothing was wrong. It trotted into the woods and never looked back but nothing could shake me of my shock. I simply stared, mouth hanging open.

"Bloody hell." I whispered, nearly falling off the window.

I blinked several times and shook my head. This was the sleep. I was sleepy and seeing things. Surely there were no stags in the bloody forest. That's not—that wasn't possible, was it. Were there even stag in Britain?

"I've gone mental." I muttered on my way down to the library.

Joseph was already there, with dark circles under his eyes and looking like he'd fall asleep any moment. It was a good thing, however, that we agreed to meet so early. It was hell. He wanted to do things a certain way, I wanted them another and we never saw eye-to-eye. It took us two hours to finally agree on something and only half an hour to actually do the project. How silly.

As I walked to the Great Hall, I had the bad luck of bumping into Rosier and Snape. I let out an annoyed breath and kept walking, hoping they'd just let that pass. They didn't. Snape muttered a snide remark on my dirty blood for standing with muggleborns and supporting them. I knew doing what my family did and what so many others did was the right thing. How could anyone hate others for something as silly as their parentage or where they come from? Something that could not be helped? But it angered me, especially because I knew his words were completely hypocritical. He was the one in love with a muggleborn, not me.

"I'm not surprised you uttered that instead of saying it to my face." I countered, turning to face them head on. I never learned. Although facing them was much better than turning my back to them.

"And I'm not surprised to see you bitching." Snape snapped at me.

"The way I see it, the only bitch around here is you." I shot back. "Sucking up to some lord who hides behind his oh-so-loyal followers."

Now that was the wrong thing to say. But I was done with their behaviour and their superiority. They'd been threatening me all year and I just snapped. Snape's face contorted into the same face a cat did before it hissed and I half-expected him to but Rosier stepped forward before Snape could say anything.

"You won't say the same once we've killed every last member of your dirty mud-loving family." Rosier snarled.

The hatred in his eyes nearly paralyzed me. But now he wasn't just threatening me. He was threatening my family. My family meant everything to me. I would die if it meant they'd be safe. And here he was, not only proving my point by saying they would instead of Voldemort, but threatening to take my family away, to rob them of their life. I took out my wand.

"Take it back." I snarled back with the same hatred he radiated.

"Make me." Rosier shot back.

I barely wondered if we were twelve before hexing him. I was horrified of my action the minute the hex hit Rosier square on the chest and sent him flying into a pillar. He had trouble getting up and I noticed a thin trail of blood falling into his eye from his brow. Shit. Snape already had his wand off and he sent another hex my way. At least I hoped it was a hex, because I didn't recognize the words or the colour. I crunched to the floor and the hex barely hit me. I shot another hex his way but I missed. I was barely able to cast a protego when both Rosier and Snape threw jinxes and hexes my way.

"Expelliarmus!"

Snape's wand went flying over my head and into my saviour's hand. I turned around, smiling a relieved smile at James, who ran to my side and winked at me. We both turned to the only Slytherin who had a wand. Rosier didn't look so confident now and it only took a few more spells for Rosier to walk away. Snape walked forward and James and I tensed but all he did was lean down and retrieve his wand from the floor.

"Nice!" James hooted with a laugh.

"Nice, indeed." I shook my head at his excitement. Rosier's words were still ringing in my mind, clear as water. "So, dear cousin, how's it been?" I asked James, looping his arm and starting to walk to the Great Hall.

"Great." James nodded, nudging me with his shoulder. "Although it's been weird with you avoiding us all."

His comment was with an easy tone, as if he'd wanted to say it for a long while but decided to simply slide it into the conversation. I shot him an unconvinced look just as we neared the corner and entered the Great Hall.

"I'm simply saying we boys haven't seen you in about a month." He shrugged, pushing his glasses further up his nose.

"Sure you have." I rolled my eyes. "We've got classes together and eat together and study together... I could go on."

It was silly. We literally did it all together, there was no alone time, there was no privacy. What one did the others found out and while I adored the boys and the girls, I kind of wanted a time out. Some privacy so I could sulk if I wanted to or laugh if I wanted to or do whatever without the others finding out and minding my business.

"But we don't really talk anymore." James pointed out.

"Why must we talk at all times?" I raised my eyebrows at him teasingly.

"Meredith..." James warned me.

I didn't care for this conversation anymore, so I turned from him and to our friends, sending them a bright smile.

"Hello, darlings." I sang, sitting in between Lily and Remus, deliberately leaving as much space between Sirius and I as possible. "Flower, did you borrow my dark blue dress? The one without sleeves?"

Lily frown, knowing quite well I had no dark blue sleeveless dress, but all I wanted was to engage in conversation so James wouldn't keep talking to me about my avoiding.

"Oh, well, I had it but I've sort of misplaced it." Lily explained apologetically.

"But I wanted to wear it for the Easter trip to Hogsmeade." I pouted.

Lily and I started talking about other dresses and shoes that I could wear to the trip, and while that was successfully boring for James to turn around and talk to Remus and Sirius, I was all too aware of Sirius' eyes on me in a questioning manner. But I had mastered the art of avoidance to the expertise degree, so all I did was keep my back turned to him and pretend there was nothing more interesting than Marlene's wide collection of shoes. It really was, though.

I yawned as I made my way down the stairs to the common room. I was hungry, so I'd just decided to meet everyone down at the Hall once they decided to drag themselves out of bed. I could see the appeal of sleeping in, though. Outside, it wasn't just raining. No, no, it was pouring. What a great day for a Quidditch match, wasn't it? Tightening my cardigan around me, I made my way downstairs.

I was just about to enter the Great Hall when somebody called my name and I turned without even realizing it. Sirius was jogging towards me, already in his Quidditch gear. Shit. I couldn't talk to him, I just couldn't. So I turned back around, ready to open the door and pretend I hadn't heard him at all.

"Meredith, wait." He called out, one of his hands reaching out to hold my elbow. I turned to him in surprise. "What's going on?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, all too aware of his hand on me with only a piece of fabric separating us.

"You've been ignoring me for the past two months."

"No, I haven't." I lied, shaking my head up at him.

"Listen, I'm sorry, alright?" he admitted without letting go of me. My heart was pounding in my ears.

"What?" I blinked, confused. What was he apologizing for?

"Yeah, just—I'm sorry about your party and... and whatever else—" he started, searching my eyes for something I didn't know.

"Apology accepted." I rushed somewhat coldly. Merlin, man, just leave before I do something stupid like kissing you again. "Will you let go of me now?"

He blinked down at me, his eyes flashing with something very close to hurt before he buried it down completely with a perfect mask of indifference. My, did it pay to be a Black.

"Right." Sirius nodded as he slowly let go of my arm.

"Thank you." I commented before turning around and walking into the Great Hall. I had expected him to follow me but when I glanced back, there was nobody behind me.

The crowd was roaring with excitement. Each student rooting for the house they wanted to win. It was Gryffindor against Ravenclaw and so far we were losing magnificently. James was trying his best but it was pouring down still and I wouldn't have been surprised to find out he couldn't see one palm in front of him. And Sirius, well, Sirius was sort of a mess. He was missing quaffles, very nearly getting hit by bludgers. We were twenty minutes in and I already felt like having cardiac arrest out of pure fear. But still, we were rooting excitedly at our favourite team. I was sitting in between Lily and Marlene, and we jumped up and down whenever it looked like Gryffindor was about to score a goal.

"Today's no good." Remus commented from behind us.

"Have faith." I admonished him teasingly, even if I completely agreed.

"He's right, though," Lily said, hiding her hands from the cold by putting them inside of her jumper. Well, James' jumper actually. And this time nobody had forced her to use it.

"Don't be such a pessimist," Marlene jumped in, shaking her head at them. "I'm sure we can turn this around."

She hadn't even finished her sentence when the crowd gasped out in horror, some people even screamed out a little. The four of us turned quickly back to the pit, searching the air for whatever had caused such a reaction. My heart stopped when I saw what it was; Sirius Black was falling quickly to the ground, half dangling from his broom, unconscious.

A/N: I'm terrible, simply the worst. Anyhow, I'm in England! How exciting is that though? But working and getting your A-levels at the same time seemed a lot easier in my mind, truth be told. I barely even have time to sleep, let alone write. So I'm sorry. I'll try to update more frequently but can't make any promises.

Thank you all for favoriting, following and reviewing this story it mean a lost. and for those of you who mentioned wanting to read some of my original work: hyperionsdaughter*blogspot*com (just replace the * for a dot) it's mostly poetry and it's relatively new, but let me know what you think? I lvoe you so much,

xoxox

Oh and I'll comment on your reviews next chapter cause I've got to go to class now.