Hello again! As I said, shorter chapters but more frequent updates are my aim now, so I hope you enjoy this one! Thank you again to my three anon reviewers whom I could not reply to individually (Anonymous, Julie, and Trinity). I'm glad the slow burn style of this story is frustrating everyone in the best way possible, because of course someone's going to give in eventually, but the question is always: who, and when? Stay tuned to find out (yes, I promise it's coming soon!). LLAP and stay safe x

Thirty Three

The coffee was a sneaky move. Question is, why do you want my attention? – V

What can I say? I like a pretty face. – L

Is that all I am? – V

You'll have to talk to me to find out the rest. – L

I don't think that's a good idea. – V

Leonard stared at the notes left on his desk, remnants of the past few days, his mind whirling. With any other woman, he would have taken the last line as a sign of indifference, or a gentle rejection. But not with Victoria More. Every second with her was playing an exhausting game of hot and cold, and it was finally starting to frustrate him. He knew he had to continue to find a balance when he talked to her like this, which was a step beyond the harmless flirting they normally engaged in: too much of the serious emotions he was feeling, and she would spook and shut down; but not enough, and she wouldn't even consider giving him a chance.

Because Leonard wanted her to give him a chance, so desperately that it almost hurt. It was hard to think about anything, anyone else, when she was still avoiding him like this. Communicating through sporadic notes and one-liner answers scribbled on the post-its he kept on his desk was getting annoying, because he needed to see her, hear her, to know what she was really thinking. He'd spent more time with Victoria over the last few months as just friends than he had with any other woman since his divorce; maybe that was why he'd been unwilling to admit that he liked her, because she was so good at hiding her own feelings behind the harmless flirting that he'd assumed was just part of her personality. But then she'd sat with him all night after he'd gotten injured and Julia had looked at him like he was insane not to realise that was something nobody did unless they felt something for the other person. The only problem was that Victoria More wasn't like any other woman Leonard had met, and that made him want to be around her even more.

But she was never in the lab when he was free from sickbay, and he was starting to suspect that she was orchestrating it that way. He was letting her run the show, for now, because he wanted to respect the fact that maybe she wasn't ready to see him yet, but he was ready to see her, damn it, and it wasn't fair that while he missed seeing her wink or hearing her laugh, she seemed to be perfectly content to continue working in her lab like nothing was wrong.

"Chief?" the doors to his office suddenly hissed open, and it was Nurse Riley. Leonard sat up straighter in his chair and slipped the notes out of sight, trying to give her his full attention. "You alright?" she asked, approaching his desk hesitantly. "You look a little… pensive."

"Fine. Tired," he said shortly, pulling a PADD towards himself without caring what it was about. He pretended to read it and avoided her all-too-knowing gaze. "Need something?"

"Yeah, but it can wait," Julia Riley suddenly sounded awkward and unsure, and the tone was so different from her usual know-it-all attitude that Leonard was immediately concerned. "I – if you're busy, I can just –" she started to back away towards the door again, but he held up a hand.

"Stop. Sit," he indicated the chair opposite his desk, and Julia sat down automatically. He frowned. "What's the problem, Julia?"

"Why would you think there's a problem?" she asked defensively.

"Because you look like if sickbay fell apart right now you wouldn't know what to do," said Leonard, and Julia stared at him in confusion. He sighed. "Normally, you look like you'd know exactly what to do. You always do, Julia. What is it?"

"It's nothing bad," she sighed. "It's just…" she trailed off, and held up her left hand, turning it so the palm was facing her and the back of her hand was facing him. When Leonard merely looked at her in confusion, she groaned. "Look at it!"

"I am!" he insisted. "What? Did you hurt yourself?"

"No!" Julia huffed in annoyance. "Are you blind? I'm wearing a ring, you moron!"

"Why is that – oh!" Leonard blinked as the pieces finally fell into place. Julia was indeed wearing a ring on her left hand, with a plain silver band and single stone set in the middle of it in an unmistakable style. Leonard found himself smiling. "So, Camus finally proposed?"

Julia rolled her eyes. "No, I just decided to wear a diamond solitaire on my ring finger for no apparent reason!"

"Don't you snap at me," said Leonard, but there was no bite in his voice. He stood up from his chair and walked around his desk, pulling Julia into a hug as she stood up as well. He chuckled and patted her back when she muttered something about him finally reacting properly, then pulled back to give her a shrewd look. "That what this is about? Want me to talk to him?"

"For what, the big brother talk?" Julia rolled her eyes. "We've been dating for six years, Leonard. And you've threatened him twice. You'll hypo him into oblivion if he breaks my heart. He gets it."

"Just makin' sure he isn't going to break my favourite nurse's heart," shrugged Leonard. Julia merely smiled, and he scratched the back of his head, trying to figure out what it was that she wanted to say. "So, you plannin' on getting hitched when we head back to Earth?"

"Actually, no," Julia suddenly looked nervous again and sat back down, and Leonard leaned back against his desk curiously. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about. We were thinking of getting married during this voyage. Soon, actually. Starship captains can officiate ceremonies, you know."

"Oh, yeah," Leonard nodded thoughtfully. "Okay, so you want me to ask Jim? You don't need me to vouch for you, though. Can't imagine he'd say no."

"Oh, no, John's said he'd do that. He's asking him now, I think, but I know the Captain won't say no," said Julia. She twisted the corners of her uniform on her hands and glanced up at him apprehensively. "I – well, I wanted to ask if you wouldn't mind… you know…"

"What?" Leonard frowned. "If you need somethin', just say it, Julia. I ain't going to say no to you."

"Will you walk me down the aisle?" she blurted out. When Leonard froze in surprise, she added quickly, "Look, John and I aren't particularly religious or traditional, but I like some traditions, okay? You and I have been close since the Academy, and there's really no one else on the ship I'd want to step in for my brother in this way. I know this isn't your style, but none of my family members are going to be able to attend my wedding if we do this, and I didn't think I'd be getting married in an unchartered area of space without someone to give me away, but John doesn't want to wait and neither do I because we both know nothing on this starship is ever normal, so I just thought –"

"Stop talkin'," interrupted Leonard, and Julia obediently snapped her mouth shut, looking up at him with hopeful eyes. He swallowed thickly. "I – yeah, 'course I'll do it. I – I don't really know what to say except, thanks, for asking me."

Julia smiled brightly, all the worry and awkwardness gone from her face in an instant. "I knew you'd say yes!" she clapped her hands happily. "I just wanted to be sure instead of pencilling my wedding into your schedule without asking you. You know, in case you have to be somewhere. With someone," she added pointedly. When Leonard continued to look confused, she groaned. "Someone special, Leonard. Dark hair, glasses and, in your own words, great legs?"

Leonard narrowed his eyes at her. "Y'know, I can still fire you and walk you down the aisle."

"You wouldn't dare," Julia leaned back in her chair and folded her arms across her chest. She raised her eyebrows questioningly. "Well? I know she snuck in here while you were asleep a couple of days ago. Did something happen?"

Leonard turned around and returned to his chair behind his desk. Avoiding the nurse's shrewd gaze, he picked up a PADD again. "Julia, I don't want to talk about it."

Usually, Julia was excellent at reading his moods – which was why they worked together so well – but today she didn't seem to be taking the hint at all. "Ah, that means you didn't talk, and you didn't know she was coming either," Julia nodded thoughtfully. "So, are you planning on just telling her how you feel, and hoping she tells you too? She's a private person, but she seems to talk to you more than anyone else. Oh, and the Captain too."

Leonard was glad he was still looking down, so Julia didn't see his eyes widen fractionally at her comment. He kept his face perfectly blank, even as his pulse sped up at the realisation that she had clearly noticed Victoria and Jim's friendship. "Who, Jim?" he asked, trying to keep his voice even. "What makes you say that?"

"Oh, not in a romantic way. Definitely not in the way she talks to you!" said Julia, her hastiness clearly implying she had no idea what Leonard was thinking. "She looked really upset when he was injured, remember on that planet with the underground labyrinth? M'Benga mentioned maybe they already knew each other, he said Tori had talked to him when they were on the planet. But then again, she didn't stay by his side all night, so what do I know?"

Clearly, you don't know anything. Shoulders sagging in relief, Leonard refocused on what Julia had said, and then frowned. "How'd you even know she was here?" he demanded. "You were off-shift when she came by!"

"She asked me where I was, and I knew she just wanted to know where you were. So I told her you were asleep," Julia shrugged. "She probably thought you weren't in sickbay. I just figured you'd run into her."

Leonard stared at her. "You did what?"

"It was a little white lie, no big deal," she waved away his surprise. "Anyway, it clearly didn't work. I suppose I could try again, but you're going to have to help me along this time."

"Try again?" Leonard was having a hard time wrapping his mind around her flippant tone. "Just what d'you think you're gonna accomplish, Julia? Next wedding Jim officiates is gonna be mine?"

"Don't be stupid. At best, I want you to stop moping, and maybe get her to smile a bit more."

"I'm not moping."

"Yes, you are," said Julia calmly. "Listen, I'm seeing her this evening. The girls wanted to celebrate my engagement and I convinced Tori to join us."

"That's nice of you," said Leonard, picking up his PADD again and trying to signal that he wanted to be done with this conversation.

Julia ignored his signals. "I won't ask you to join us, but I could always send her your way later for a hypo," she tapped her chin thoughtfully. "No reason for all of us to be hungover messes tomorrow. What do you think?"

"Julia, if I want to talk to her, I'll damn well do it myself, when I please. If I please," snapped Leonard. "What's it to you anyway?"

"Well, I'm your friend," said Julia, as if it was obvious. "And I think I'm Tori's friend too. And I really don't see what's stopping you."

Of course she didn't see. Deflated, Leonard merely nodded and waved her off, slipping the notes with Victoria's handwriting on them out of his desk drawer as the door closed behind her. He had already analysed her words to death, so he chose to ignore the mound of paperwork that was piling up and instead stared at her initial, something that had been niggling at him since he'd gotten her first note: she had signed all of them with a V, not a T. For someone so paranoid about her identity, it was a shift he hadn't seen coming. Leonard avoided calling her by her nickname for no reason other than the fact that he knew she liked it when he used a term of endearment for her instead. Plus, everyone called her Tori, and he didn't want to be just anybody. And he liked her name. He had also liked her red hair, and the way it curled at the tips when she let it down; and her eyes, which were green – not brown – and forever dancing with amusement, mischief, and affection. He liked these things about Victoria More, not Natira Woodville, and not Tori.

And it would be nice if she stayed in one place long enough for him to tell her that.

!

"So what made you choose Xenolinguistics?" asked Victoria curiously. "Other than the cute instructor, I suppose."

"It was not the instructor," laughed Uhura, even as Hannity snorted from next to her. "Spock was a complete slave-driver, overly-critical, and made at least three students cry every week."

"And yet, here you are," said Hannity. "The fact that he gave everyone a hard time except you –"

"He was mean to me too, and you know it!"

"– is what made you stick to your guns," finished Hannity smugly. "I took one class with her," she told Victoria, swirling her drink around in her glass before she took another sip. "I wanted to see what the fuss was about, but Uhura said he'd notice me in a second if I sat near her since I wasn't on the course. Anyway, I sat at the back, and didn't tell her I was there, but let me tell you, the chemistry –"

"She's exaggerating," cut in Uhura.

"– was so obvious that even Kirk could have seen it," said Hannity, ignoring Uhura's interruption.

"Except he didn't," Uhura rolled her eyes. "And thank god for that."

"I can't believe you dated an instructor," Victoria shook her head smilingly. "Actually, considering your instructor was a half-Vulcan who would find favouritism completely illogical, I can believe it. Bet nobody in the Dean's office even batted an eye."

"They wouldn't have… if they had known on time," confessed Uhura. Hannity cackled, her third drink clearly taking its toll, and Victoria's eyebrows shot up. "If I had had it my way, we wouldn't have told anyone, but Spock can't break rules."

Except, he could. Victoria and Uhura exchanged pointed glances that Hannity completely missed, already getting up from the small table they had all settled around a few hours ago to mix herself another drink. The mess hall was empty and considering all three women were off-shift for the next twelve hours, the replicators had been put to good use to produce every cocktail known within the galaxy. It was only the third time Victoria was joining Uhura and her friends for an evening spent talking about anything except work, which would have been great if it wasn't for the fact that they all loved their work too much to talk about anything else.

Well, almost all of them. Uhura talked about Spock with an enthusiasm that caused her eyes to light up, Hannity showed Victoria pictures of her half-Andorian nieces and nephews that she carried around on her personal PADD, and as the doors opened and Nurse Julia Riley entered the mess hall, Victoria was sure she was about to talk endlessly about her fiancé down in engineering.

Because that was why they were all here. Engineer John Camus had proposed to Nurse Julia Riley, and she had promptly called the three women and demanded they celebrate with her that evening after they were done with work. Victoria hadn't expected an invite, but Julia had practically begged her to join them for drinks, and she hadn't had the heart to say no.

"Sorry, sorry!" sighed Julia, sliding into the seat next to Victoria. "McCoy's been yelling for the past two hours, M'Benga was late again, and someone broke the regenerator, but I left before they could tell me to fix it." Smiling around the table in greeting, she accepted the drink Hannity handed her, but sniffed it curiously before she took a sip. "Wow, someone's getting hammered tonight."

"And it's going to be us!" declared Hannity, pushing the same drink at Victoria, who knew better than to argue by now. It was fruity and sweet, which was what she usually preferred, though she found herself daydreaming about the smooth taste of bourbon as she took another sip and set the glass down, trying not to smile. Fortunately, Hannity didn't notice. "You may have snagged a good man, Julia, but I swear, if I never see Jim Kirk again, it'll be too soon."

"Please tell me you didn't sleep with him again," groaned Uhura. "Hannity, I told you not to!"

"Too late, did him multiple times, severely regret it now," said Hannity, and Victoria grimaced. "Oh, not you too!" Hannity complained when she caught Victoria's expression. "Uhura gives me enough grief about it, you can't be on her side."

"I'm not judging," Victoria assured her quickly. "I've heard worse stories."

Hannity grinned. "So you get it, right?"

Victoria winced. "Um, no. He's… not my type. At all. Very, very far from my type. Actually, the thought is kind of nauseating. For me, anyway. But good for you, I guess?"

Hannity blinked and nodded slowly, still looking confused but seeming satisfied that Victoria wasn't going to judge her. Uhura hid her snort behind her glass, clearly finding Victoria's obvious discomfort with the subject hilarious, and Victoria kicked her under the table. Julia grinned and reached for her drink, finally taking a sip. "You're making Tori awkward, Hannity," she giggled. "Her and the captain have a very different relationship. She threatened to castrate him after what happened in those tunnels, remember?"

"You did?" Hannity cackled again, and Victoria grinned without embarrassment. "No wonder he's been better behaved than usual. Of course you scared him into it, Tori, two weeks after meeting him."

"I do have that effect on men," confessed Victoria. Hannity didn't need to know, of course, that her effect on Jim Kirk had been carefully cultivated after over twenty years of knowing him.

"It's true," added Uhura. "Have you seen Homer lately? He's terrified he's going to lose his job."

Victoria sighed. "He's honestly a fine officer, he's just…"

"Dumb," supplied Hannity. "You don't have to say it, but we're all thinking it. No wonder Spock never lets him on the bridge. We'd all be dead in twenty minutes. Maybe ten, if Uhura isn't on duty. Five, if both her and Spock are locked up somewhere together."

"How reassuringly specific," said Victoria dryly. Uhura and Julia laughed, while Hannity merely grinned. "The fact is that he's never getting on the bridge though, because I will cut his hands and feet off if he gets a conn position before I do."

"Bridge, bridge, bridge," Julia sighed. "What's the big deal about being up there anyway? It's too small, there aren't enough chairs, and sure the guys are cute, but they're not the only ones on the ship!"

"Where else do you suggest we look? Engineering is too far, and we can't all hang out in sickbay with those dreamy doctors," said Hannity, and this time it was Victoria who hid her snort behind her glass. Ignoring Uhura's eye-roll, Hannity turned to Victoria and said, in a conspiratorial tone, "Seriously, Tori, I know you graduated before us, but I've said this since we were at the Academy, and I'll keep saying it till the day I die: McCoy is hot. And M'Benga is too, though he smiles too much."

Victoria's smile froze on her face, but she was saved from answering. "And that makes him less attractive than McCoy?" asked Uhura amusedly.

"You're dating Mr. Vulcans-Don't-Smile-Because-Amusement-Is-Illogical, don't make fun of me," Hannity rolled her eyes. "There's nothing wrong with M'Benga, of course. He's definitely nice, but that rough-around-the-edges thing McCoy has going on is really something. Also, the accent!" she sighed dreamily. "Julia, how do you get any work done?"

"I don't sleep with my colleagues," said Julia primly. Then, she smirked. "Anyway, sorry to break it to you, but McCoy definitely has someone else on his mind. Constantly."

"On the ship? No way!" Hannity's eyes widened. "Who is she? Or he?"

"That isn't as important as the fact that there is someone," said Julia, and Victoria was sure she wasn't imagining the glance the nurse gave her from the corner of her eye. Making up her mind to ignore it, she calmly picked up her drink and took another sip. Julia did the same and continued talking, lowering her voice as if she was revealing a secret. "He's been really distracted lately, and he's never distracted. He locks himself up in his office a lot, he's been using his comm more than usual, and the last time I walked into his office to ask him if he wanted some coffee, he shut off his PADD so fast I thought he was going to break it. Then he yelled at me and made me do paperwork. He's totally hiding something."

"And you've never…" Hannity trailed off suggestively. "With McCoy? Have you?"

Julia's eyes widened, and this time Victoria definitely wasn't imagining the panicked glance she threw her way. "No!" she said firmly. "I told you, I don't sleep with colleagues!"

"And Engineer Camus down in engineering isn't a colleague?" teased Uhura, and Victoria felt Julia's attention shift from her towards the communications officer, and she let out a quiet breath she hadn't realised she had been holding in as Julia replied to her teasing.

Victoria knew exactly what was causing the tight feeling in her chest, her sudden uninterest in her drink, and the drop in enthusiasm as they continued to chat, the topic of doctors and their love lives already forgotten as Hannity demanded to know details about the wedding. She knew Julia suspected something was going on between her and Leonard; the way she had sent her to his office while he had been asleep almost confirmed it. And she had decided, after that day, to not only ignore people's suspicions, but also her own feelings. It was obvious that Leonard liked her, and that she liked him: she couldn't allow it to go further than that. It was why she had been religiously avoiding him for days, trying to put a stop to the harmless flirting that continued through those damn notes he kept leaving on her desk, except they weren't harmless anymore because they made her smile and her heart beat faster, and she hated that she could practically hear every word he wrote in his stupid accent that always made her knees go weak. In fact, she also hated that she hadn't heard his voice in so long that it was driving her a little crazy.

"Another drink?" asked Hannity, already on her way to the replicator.

Uhura shook her head no, but Julia nodded and Victoria found herself nodding also. She felt Uhura look at her curiously, but ignored her and quickly finished the last of the cocktail in her hands before Hannity handed her another one, clinking their glasses together.

"Anyway, enough about us," said Hannity. "Tori, are you ever going to talk about yourself?"

Victoria smiled. "Why would I, when everything you all say is much more interesting?"

Uhura laughed. "Tori's more private than McCoy sometimes."

"Actually, I think they're about on the same level," said Julia, and Victoria ignored the hint of suggestiveness in her voice that was either only audible to her, or else completely missed by the other two women. "They both drink the same kind of coffee too. The old-fashioned kind, that takes more time to make than it does to drink."

The same kind of coffee he'd been leaving on her desk for days. "Some old-fashioned things are nice," said Victoria, taking an extra-large sip of her drink.

"You know what's nice? The way McCoy steps back and lets you go first when you leave the turbolift with him," said Hannity. "That's like the modern equivalent of holding the door open for you, isn't it? Kirk doesn't do that. M'Benga doesn't either. Does Spock do it, Uhura?"

"No," said Uhura, but she was smiling. "But he does take the turbolift with me every time I have to leave the bridge."

"Sweet," said Victoria. "From a Vulcan, that's practically a declaration of love."

Uhura laughed and Hannity said something about the appeal of the Commander's well-fitting uniform that made Julia burst out into laughter and Uhura throw a napkin at her, all the while laughing herself. Victoria giggled and patted Julia on the back as she gasped for air, tears of laughter streaming down her face. If it kept the conversation off McCoy, and Hannity's dreamy sighs and Julia's knowing looks, she would happily talk about Spock's too-tight Science blues shirt, trying not to let her mind dwell on who else wore that colour.

She was still trying really hard not to think about it when she headed to the turbolift a few hours later to return to her quarters; four drinks in and she was the first to say good night, but Uhura quickly followed her out, saying she had a question about their shift tomorrow.

"Sorry," she said immediately, as the doors of the mess hall closed behind them.

Victoria frowned. "About what?"

"Julia. Talking about McCoy," explained Uhura, and Victoria bit her lip. Uhura gave her a comforting smile. "She just cares about him. And she likes you."

Victoria nodded slowly. "Of course. I know that."

"And I know it's none of my business, so I won't ask you why you suddenly seemed really interested in Hannity's love life after Leonard came up," said Uhura, and Victoria's shoulders sagged with relief, because that was the nicest thing anyone had said to her since she had joined the Enterprise. Uhura winked. "Although, if you were curious, I could tell you Leonard's thinking about someone too. A lot. Except, I'm pretty sure I know who she is."

The suggestiveness wasn't lost on her. Despite herself, Victoria smiled. "I didn't know you were friends."

"The only reason I didn't kill Jim at the Academy was because of Leonard," confessed Uhura. "Also, he has the best hangover cures. You should probably head to sickbay and get a hypo from him now, because Hannity's cocktails never agree with anyone in the morning."

Victoria laughed. "I'll take my chances. All I want to do is go to bed now. But thanks," she added. "I really appreciate you not asking me to talk. It's been a first for me on this ship."

"I know," Uhura winked. "See you around, Tori."

Victoria waved and headed towards the turbolift, inwardly thankful that she didn't have to go on shift for another ten hours. She would rather fight off her hangover the old-fashioned way than risk running into Leonard now, while she was more than a little tipsy and still daydreaming about the way his voice sounded when he said her name. She had to remind herself that she wasn't a teenager anymore, that crushes came and went and it wasn't the end of the world if she couldn't act on her feelings. So what, if the idea of Leonard McCoy being interested in someone else made her want to lock herself in her quarters and avoid all interaction, human or otherwise, for the next three years? There was no other choice.

Was there?

No, there wasn't. It was a mantra she repeated to herself as she neared her quarters, making up her mind to go straight to bed and think about nothing except soil samples and sediment deposits for the next twenty-four hours. She was so committed to ignoring all thoughts of Leonard McCoy that seeped into her mind that she barely noticed the fact that there was something lying on her coffee-table that hadn't been there when she'd left her quarters earlier in the day.

It was a single hypospray, with a familiar neon green note written in red ink attached to it. Shaking her head, Victoria didn't even bother trying to understand how he'd gotten into her room, and sank down on the sofa to read the note.

Thought you might need something for the hangover. And I know you don't think this is a good idea, but I'm a patient man. You know where to find me when you're ready to talk. – L