Chapter 22:

When Sirius hit the muddy ground, the whole wide world froze. And I didn't mean than as in my world ended, I meant that as in it literally froze along with my own heart. Everyone seemed to pause for a moment before springing into action. Lily gasped and covered her mouth with her hand, while Marlene leaned dangerously out of the railing, trying to get a better look at him.

"Merlin, I see blood." She gasped, squinting her eyes down at the ground.

I shook my head. I did not need to know that. The match ended quite fast after that, no because they'd stopped it per say but because James simply, very politely, handed the quaffle over to the other team and flied down as fast as possible to the ground. The Gryffindor team flied down as well. McGonagall was next and she was followed by my mum, who was followed by Dumbledore and after that the whole idea of continuing the game was sort of ridiculous. Madam Pomfrey was called and the medi-witch appeared out of nowhere, or maybe she walked there and the rain hadn't let us see. I never saw how they took him out of there, if he walked or was carried or what. All I knew was that I was scared. Sirius Orion Black had never ever been injured during a Quidditch match, not even a sprained muscle, but yet here we were.

"We have to leave now." I announced, already turning on my feet to walk out of the bleachers.

My friends agreed and we descended the slippery bleachers as fast as our soaked and cold bodies would allow us to.

"A collapsed what?" I asked, blinking back the tears that had sprung to my eyes at the words coming out of James' mouth.

He looked incredibly worried, not to say nearly frantic, as we all stood outside the Infirmary, waiting for Madam Pomfrey to say Sirius would be all right. James was still soaked to the bone, with his hair stuck to his face and his glasses on top of his head. He resembled somewhat a very tall wet rat, although I doubted he'd appreciate my track of thought. For what I'd gathered up until now, he had never left the adults side, even when asked politely to leave, and had been able to heard Sirius's condition before being thrown out of the Hospital Wing, the heavy doors slammed on his face.

"A collapsed lung." Dorcas repeated slowly, as if gauging the weight of the words in her mouth as they rolled off her tongue. Why, yes, thank you for the reminder, dear, I thought bitterly.

Remus frowned at the words, while Lily shook her head, her red hair fanning around with the motion.

"But, how?" Marlene demanded as she bit the point of her thumb. "He was fine."

"The bludger hit him square on the chest," Geller started with a gloomy tone that suggested he didn't see Sirius' future very bright. "I'm surprised he only has one collapsed lung."

"Shut up." I mumbled, hugging my torso to try and fight off the cold that was running through my veins. "Shut up."

"Meredith—" Lily started, taking a step towards me.

"No. Why are you talking about this as if it's been decided?" I demanded, trying to look at all of them.

They all looked so sad, as if they only expected the worse and nothing more, as if all this was a waiting game until Madam Pomfrey opened those doors with Dumbledore by her side to inform us that Sirius had succumbed to his wounds. It was rare but it happened, Quidditch was brutal like that. I would not have it though.

"Sirius is going to be fine." I announced, turning to glare at Geller with all the anger and hatred I'd carried around with me for the past year. Of course my emotions had nothing to do with him, but he was the one talking like Sirius being badly wounded was nothing. I would not have it. "And if you don't think so then, please, if you're so kindly to leave. We do not need that sort of negativity around."

Geller looked hard at me for a few seconds before nodding slowly. I was disappointed at that, though. I wanted to yell at someone, I wanted a fight. Anything to make the worry clutching my chest turn into something else. But nobody seemed to want to comply; they all seemed too focused on the stone floor or the thunder rumbling outside to meet my gaze. So I resignedly walked to the window sill and sat down, staring at the wall until my sight got tricked and it seemed like nothing but silvery grey.

"Was I the only one who found him extremely distracted today?" Marlene spoke after ten minutes of not a sound coming from us all.

I had to agree. And I knew everyone else did too. Sirius had been distracted, moody and stressed. In truth, it had been a miracle that he hadn't gotten injured earlier during the game. But I hadn't the slightness clue what could have made him that way.

"Yes," Lily nodded in a small voice. "Even during breakfast he seemed oddly out of it."

Had he? I frowned at the wall, having trouble remembering that. I'd spent the better part of breakfast replaying our previous conversation and the other half glaring at my scrambled eggs.

"But why?" Remus asked. "He didn't tell me anything."

"Our uncle Alphard is dead."

The new voice made me snap out of my staring contest with the wall. I turned to see Regulus Black walk out of the shadows, a grim expression etched to his features. My heart went out to the Black brothers, then. Alphard Black was probably one of my favourite members of the Black family; he was a talented, good man, almost more Gryffindor than Slytherin, and knowing he was dead... well, the Wizarding World had lost a great wizard, there was no doubt. Sirius must have been really sad.

"When?" I asked, my voice hoarse for not speaking for so long. Or maybe it was me trying to control the wave of emotions I was feeling.

"Late, last night." Regulus answered me, meeting my eyes. It occurred to me it was the first time in a very long time that he didn't just glare at me like he wished I were dead. "I informed my brother early this morning."

Understanding dawned in all of us, then. Of course the news of his uncle's death would be enough to have Sirius unfocused. I resisted the urge to snap at Regulus for telling Sirius the news hours before a Quidditch match. He looked truly worried, so I simply kept my mouth shut, merely sending him a small smile when his gaze found mine.

Silence fell around us one more in the same way a light snow covers a backyard; very slowly until there was nothing else. My heart kept pounding in my chest, hard against my ribs, sending blood rushing to my ears. I wouldn't have been surprised if James, who was closest to me, could hear it. My mind kept going back to this morning. I'd been so rude to Sirius. What if Madam Pomfrey couldn't help him? What if he had to go to horrid St. Mungo's? What if he died and the last memory he had of me was that conversation? I didn't want him to remember me that way; I didn't want that stupid exchange be our last. What if he had wanted to tell me about his uncle and I had simply rebutted him as if he were nothing? All because of my stupid fear of accidentally showing how I really felt.

I turned to the window, furiously wiping away a betraying tear. If my friends saw me cry, they'd want to comfort me. And I was not about to make this whole ordeal about me. The door to the Hospital Wing opened and out came Professor McGonagall and Mother. We all sprung to our feet and walked closer to them anxiously. Even Regulus, who had maintained a somewhat aloof air around him until now, seemed impatient to know what the news were.

"Mum?" I asked hesitantly.

"He's going to be fine." My mother informed us with a relieved smile of her own. I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding, momentarily closing my eyes. "Now, if you'll excuse me, Minerva, I'm about to inform William and Andrea about the situation. They will probably want to be here soon."

With that she left us. So we turned to McGonagall.

"Yes, Mr. Potter, you may see him," the Transfiguration Professor said before my dear cousin had time to open his mouth. James' entire face lit up at the prospect of seeing Sirius, who was his brother in every way except in blood. "On the condition that you only go three at a time and are extremely quite. Mr. Black has not yet regained consciousness and he needs all the rest he can get." She added, sending us a sharp look.

Obviously, we all wanted to go first. Even Peter, who had remained strangely quiet during our waiting period, said he wanted to go. At the end, the Marauders went in first, which was strangely sad, in part because it was weird seeing only three of them, and in part because I desperately wanted James to go in with me. Geller told us he could wait until tomorrow, so the rest of us wouldn't have to worry about who would go next, and so did Mary. So at the end, it was just the girls, me and Regulus Black. Professor McGonagall didn't utter a word during all the time the boys were inside and us were out here, debating who should go first. Well, the girls were. I simply stood by the window, biting my lip so hard I wasn't surprised when I started to taste blood. Nonetheless, I knew Professor was observing us, I felt her eyes on me more than once, and I was not sure what she saw, or what she was looking for.

"I think Mere should go in first," Dorcas suddenly said, bringing my attention back to the conversation at hand. I knew what she was thinking; I loved Sirius, of course I wanted to go in first. But suddenly I was very scared of what I'd find. "Don't you want to?" she added once I didn't say anything.

"No, it's fine." I cleared my throat. "I actually don't mind being last." I didn't know if that was a lie or not.

"Okay..." Lily trailed off with a frown. "Then it's settled."

I was relieved of my decision to go last, however, when the boys came out, all looking gloomy and even more worried than before, and Professor McGonagall quickly ushered them back to the Common Room. I didn't want them all to see how bad Sirius' state affected me. I was still coming to terms with my feelings and I was not ready to answer all the questions I'd be asked if my friends decided to examine my every move. Eventually, it was my turn and it was a few seconds before I finally grew the courage to walk towards the doors.

"Aren't you coming?" I asked Regulus once I noticed he wasn't walking.

He seemed surprised. "I didn't think you wished for me to be present."

"You're his baby brother," I reminded him, walking towards him. I hesitated before grabbing his arm. "So, yes, you're coming in with me."

I caught McGonagall's small smile before she closed the door behind us. The Hospital Wing was quiet. There didn't seem to be any ill patients, I noticed as I walked down to the end of the room, where I could see Professor Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey standing by the foot of a bed. Regulus had shaken my hand off halfway down so I walked on my own. Even though I could've done with the support, I didn't take his rejection to heart. He'd shaken his arm gently, more a reminder that Slytherins didn't really do support in public than a show of his distaste towards me. And once more I wondered if maybe there was hope for the youngest Black after all.

The air got caught on my throat when I finally got a glance at Sirius, and any pretending of coolness I had got thrown out the window. I walked quickly to his side, one hand to my mouth in controlled horror. I don't think I had ever seen him so ill. His skin was a pale, greyish tone and he had a bandage on his forehead, probably from the fall, as well as some bruises here and there. His shirt had been removed and had yet to be replace for another, so I could see clear as day that he had more bandages around his chest. How did one go about fixing a collapsed lung? I wondered as I continued my own examination. Sirius' breathing was ragged, as if the mere action of taking air in from his nose pained him.

"Are you certain he'll be all right?" Regulus asked in the most business-like tone he could muster.

"Yes, Mr. Black, if his condition continues to improve as it is, he should be quite all right." Madame Pomfrey nodded briskly.

"Should," Regulus repeated. "That's not very reassuring."

"Regulus." I warned, even if I had to agree with him. "If he were to get worse—you'd get other healers, though, right?" I wondered out loud without taking my eyes off of Sirius. At least I had hoped it was out loud, but my voice came just above a whisper.

"I assure you, Miss Potter, Mr. Black is in very good hands." Dumbledore commented, looking at me with twinkling knowing eyes.

What was it about this man that he knew everything? People's feelings, relationships, everything. I wouldn't be surprised to find he heard us through the castle walls. I nodded mutely before focusing back on Sirius. I really did hope he was in good hands, as Dumbledore put it. I hated seeing him like this, like the smallest breeze would take him to his grave. And that was when I suddenly understood what he had meant that day. I'd rather nobody ever knows about this—I'd rather that than having to see you laying in a bed, looking like you're about to die, Sirius had told me and while I hadn't truly understood, I did now. It was a living nightmare, seeing him this weak. I grabbed his hand, hoping to transfer some of the little strength I had left over to him. I was slightly relieved to find his hand was warm or, at least, not as cold as mine were. That was a good sign. A better sign would be him being awake and not wounded at all, of course, but I'd take what I could.

Our assigned ten minutes with Sirius went by in a blink of an eye. One moment I was sitting next to him and the next Madam Pomfrey was ordering us to leave and let his patient rest. I honestly didn't see how our presence was affecting an unconscious Sirius' resting patterns, but I didn't really have the time to let her know. Before I knew it, the door had closed on my face.

"How are you feeling?" Regulus suddenly asked as we slowly walked away from the Hospital Wing.

I blinked, surprised. Regulus Black had never asked me about my feelings and I didn't see why he'd start now.

"Sorry, what?" I asked, surely I'd misunderstood him.

"I saw you crying before." He mentioned nonchalantly.

I flushed slightly in embarrassment. I hadn't thought anyone had seen, but apparently noticing things was Black DNA.

"I'm fine." I replied.

"Fine's not really a feeling." He commented, making me let out a disbelieving laugh.

"No, it's not, is it?" I shrugged. "What about you?"

My question was out of pure politeness. Imagine my surprise when the youngest Black actually humoured me with an answer, an honest one.

"I'm grateful." He hesitated. "I've been threatening you all year—and you asked me to go see him with you."

"Would you have rather I tell you I didn't want you there at all?" I asked.

"Yes. Now, I owe you."

"Is that why you've asked me how I am?" I wondered out loud. "You don't owe me anything, Regulus. That was just me doing the logical thing; allowing you to have some needed time with your older brother." I added before he had a chance to say anything. "So, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed."

With that I continued walking down the hallway, wondering which shortcut I should take so I could get to Gryffindor Tower faster. I probably hadn't taken five steps away from him, when Regulus called me again.

"Meredith," he said, making me turn in curiosity. "Don't tell anyone about this exchange." His voice and demeanour was back to his old Slytherin self. I had trouble discerning which was the true Regulus Black and which was the façade.

"Wouldn't dream of it." I assured him with a smile.

My uncle and aunt arrived at Hogwarts early the day after. They were worried, which was understandable, but the fact that they didn't demand Sirius to be transferred to St. Mungo's right away served as reassurance to me. I knew they wouldn't do anything but what was best for him. Life went on as normal around Hogwarts. We all visited Sirius as much as we could, of course, but apart from that everything was as usual. I felt weird, though, knowing that if I turned around in class I wouldn't see him there. Considering the Quidditch match ended abruptly without anyone catching the golden snitch, they did a rematch a few days later. And we won. Ravenclaw weren't too happy about it, considering they all but won the last one, but Gryffindor house was ecstatic. James wouldn't stop saying how he couldn't wait to tell Sirius.

"Ugh, why?" Dorcas groaned, stretching the 'y' until it turned into a long whine. "Who cares if a bunch of gnomes or elves or whatever had a rebellion bazillion years ago?"

It was Saturday now, after dinner, and we were hanging out in the Common Room. Well, minus Dorcas, who was struggling with her History of Magic homework, and Remus and James, who had gone to visit Sirius. I laughed, absentmindedly twirling pieces of my hair until it resembled a tight curl.

"Ogres," Peter suddenly said, without looking up from his own homework.

"What?" Dorcas frowned.

"It was ogres that rebelled, not elves." Peter explained, finally looking up from his homework with widened eyes. He seemed surprised that he was the one who knew that.

"No," Dorcas shook her head in a slightly terrified way. "No way, I have not been writing an essay on the wrong creatures for the last forty minutes." She denied, already flicking through her History of Magic book. Marlene and I shared a look as we tried to hold in our smiles. Trust Dorcas to be so distracted as to not notice she's actually writing the wrong dissertation. "Mother F." She cursed as she stared at her book. "That's it, I'm quitting. I've got my OWLS, that's more than enough for me to be Merlin knows what."

"Sure thing." I agreed, but before I could add another sarcastic remark, there was a frustrated mumbling coming from Lily.

She was sat in one of the plush chairs, her legs curled up under her as she read The Prophet. Or got angry at it, for the looks of it.

"Ten disappearances this week," Lily snapped at nobody in particular. "And the minister says he has no idea what could have caused them. Is he really this daft?"

"Admitting to anything would make him appear out of control," I commented, stopping my curling so I could simply stare at the tapestry by the window. "And that would just create chaos."

The more I learned about the world's situation, the less I wanted to go in Law Enforcement. What was the point of fighting, of risking your life every single day, if at the end the power denied everything? If at the end evil won? I sighed before stretching.

"It's ten, I'm going to sleep." I announced as I made my way to the stairs.

"See ya later." Marlene called out, barely looking up from Witch Weekly.

"Sweet dreams, Mere." Lily sent me a smile.

I didn't have sweet dreams, although I wasn't sure why that was exactly, but when the sun rose and I woke, fear paralyzed me. Not fear out of my dreams, I'd grown out of that now that I knew what they were, but fear out of the possibility that I was going back to old habits. Professor Grace wasn't very happy over my tardiness but he let it slide. I was listening to Professor Grace go on about prophecies and how they were recorded and store in a very secured place of the ministry, not that I cared really, when the door slammed open, catching all of our attention. James was there, out breath and searching for something like his life depended on it. I was standing on my feet before his eyes even found me. What if something bad had happened?

"Meredith," he breathed out, relieved. "He's awake."

Imagine you were in a very deep ocean, no land for miles and miles. The cold water was starting to numb your legs and arms now, the same way it did with your fingers and toes quite sometime before. And suddenly, you saw a small light, a boat sailing towards you; salvation. I had been feeling that way for the past five days, no matter how corny it sounded, and James' words were the sailing boat nearby. I smiled, taking a step towards the door.

"Really?"

"Yes!"James laughed, urging me to go. "Come on!"

I started to walk towards the door once more, ready to go with him, when a clear of a throat stopped me.

"Miss Potter, where do you think you're going?" Professor Grace asked, regarding me with an annoyed look. I blinked in confusion. What was wrong with him? He'd been moody all day.

"Sirius is awake, sir." I pointed out. Maybe he'd misheard James.

"And you're in class." Tobias retorted. "Please, sit back down."

"But, sir—" I started, sending James a pleading look.

"Miss Potter, I assure you Mr. Black will be just as awake when this lesson is finished." He pointed at the book on his hands and then my seat with his wand. I scowled at him, ready to just gather my belongings and leave. "Don't make me take points from Gryffindor, Miss Potter."

I sat back down, sending James a look and urging him to go be with his best mate. I could survive ninety minutes. Ninety minutes of boring theory on crystal balls and astrology and Divination Law. Who was I kidding? I didn't care one bit about the Ministry of Magic deciding who could and who couldn't make a prophecy. So I didn't even bother; I spent the ninety minutes with my stuff in my bag and staring at the clock. The second Tobias Grace dismissed us, I bolted. I ran like I had never run before, very nearly stumbling against First Years and pushing other people out of my way. I didn't care if they thought I'd gone mental. I'd been ignoring Sirius for so long, he probably thought the only reason why I wasn't there was because I didn't want to be. And I couldn't have him thinking that.

The Hospital Wing was quiet; the only sound was the heels of my shoes clacking against the floor tile as I ran to the very end, where Sirius' bed had been all this week. I had expected to find everyone there, but only Remus, Lily and James were present. Maybe the others were still stuck in class, that made me feel better for being late. Sirius looked so much better; he wasn't perfect yet but he looked alive. He was propped up against the pillows so he wasn't lying completely and was listening intently as James talked to him quietly. His focus broke, however, when I finally reached the bed, completely out of breath. James shut up and even Remus and Lily, who had been listening in on James and Sirius turned to look at me.

"Hi." I breathed out.

"Hey," Sirius said to me with a small smile.

I didn't know what else to say, so I just returned the smile, having to blink the sudden tears that were in my eyes. I moved to the left side of his bed with ease and sat down on the chair by it, deciding nobody would get me out of there.

"Right," James cleared his throat, sounding like he wanted the ground to open and swallow him. Only then did I realize Sirius and I had been doing nothing but look at each other.

"James." Lily hissed, very subtly elbowing him on the ribs.

I rolled my eyes at them, before deciding to stop being creepy and talk. "I'm glad you didn't die."

"So am I." Sirius chuckled, although the motion seemed to hurt him somehow.

"Did you have like a flashback of your life up until now?" I asked curiously.

"Right, a lot of people say it happens." Lily commented.

Sirius seemed to think about it. He looked slightly confused, like he wasn't sure of what had truly happened. I hoped my question hadn't bothered him too much.

"Not really," he told us, although his attention was still on me. "Just saw what I love the most." The way he said it made my heart race for some reason.

"Oh, so a lot of Quidditch then." James nodded.

"Mate, that sounds like your flashback." Remus joked.

We all laughed, although Sirius' turned into a pained frown that had me reaching for his hand in seconds. I was still happy, though. Sure, he wasn't healed but he was alive and one step closer to being perfect. I didn't move from his side, nor did I let go of his hand, not even when the rest of our friends got here and all seemed to want to be close to him. They could all do that once I or James were gone, but for now there was no way I was letting Sirius Black out of my sight.

A/N: Well, this came out quicker than I thought. I'd like to thank each of you who favourited, followed and reviewed this story last chapter, especially Amnesia Arsenic for your kind words. They meant a lot to me. Anyways, Thank you all! And let me know what you think, okay? ily,