Thank you, lovely (guest) reviewers to whom I couldn't respond! I hope you enjoy this chapter - as I said, slow, steady, slightly shorter chapters (but regular updates) is the name of the game for this story! LLAP x

Thirty Four

"Nurse Riley to Dr. McCoy."

Leonard frowned and tapped his comm. "What is it, Julia?"

"Sorry to bother you, chief. I was supposed to deliver Natira Woodville's hyposprays today, but she hasn't answered my comms or opened her door three times now. She's off-shift so she should be in her quarters but she isn't responding."

Leonard narrowed his eyes. "Julia, if this is a trick –"

"I wouldn't joke about her meds, Leonard," said Julia, her voice serious. "I really have tried everything. I can't find her."

Damn that woman. "I'll deliver them to her myself in an hour when I'm done here," sighed Leonard. "I'll override the damn computer in her room if I have to. You're sure she ain't anywhere else on the ship?"

"The computer says she's in her quarters, but she's not opening the door. M'Benga already tried calling her."

"I'll handle it," shutting off his comm, Leonard punched a sequence into his computer. "Computer, locate Woodville, Natira."

"Lieutenant Dr. Natira Woodville is in her quarters."

Leonard's frown deepened. Victoria was never late for her hyposprays. Hell, she was more punctual than he was, and he made sure every time he was the one administering the dosage that they weren't a minute off from her usual schedule. There was no way she was doing it to avoid him either, since Nurse Riley was administering her hypos that week, and he had made it clear he wasn't going to approach her if she wasn't ready to talk to him. It was also odd that she wasn't answering her door; he knew Jim had overridden her computer with his captain's code more than once, so it wasn't as though a locked door was going to keep out unwanted guests. Was she sick? Had something happened to her?

A cold feeling ran down Leonard's spine at the thought of her lying in her room, helpless and too far away from her comm to ask for help. It was unlikely that was what had happened, because the damn mineral in her leg made her practically indestructible, but there was too much they didn't know about it, and he suddenly wasn't willing to take a chance. Turing off the computer, he strode out of his office, pausing only long enough to grab the set of hyposprays from Nurse Riley's desk and yell at M'Benga to watch for any new patients.

Victoria's quarters weren't too far from sickbay, and Leonard was pressing the buzzer next to her door repeatedly in less than a few minutes. There was no answer. Frustrated, he tapped his comm. "McCoy to Woodville." There was no answer. "Damn it, woman," he tried the buzzer again. "I swear to god, Woodville, if you don't open this damn door right now I am coming in!" he raised his voice, just in case she could hear him, and tried his comm again. "I'm warnin' you!"

He waited for a few seconds, glaring at the door as if the force of his annoyance could open it. He didn't want to barge into her room uninvited, but she needed her damn meds and if she convulsed and died because she didn't get them, he'd be the one court-martialled. And then Jim would kill him, closely followed by Sulu, Ben, and whoever the hell else she had protecting her.

Not to mention he'd never forgive himself if something happened to her.

When he was sure he had been standing like an idiot outside her door for at least five minutes, Leonard gave up. He inputted his override code into the panel next to her door, and heard the mechanical hiss that indicated it had unlocked. As it opened, he squinted inside. The room was dark, and he could barely make out if someone was even inside. "Computer, lights at twenty percent," he said. The lights flickered on, just enough for him to see into her living-room. It was empty, but the door that led to her bedroom was open. "Anyone home?" he called out. There was no answer.

Dropping the box of hyposprays onto the coffee table, Leonard picked his way across to her bedroom hesitantly. Something told him he should call Jim, or Sulu, or even Uhura; Victoria wasn't the type of person to completely vanish for over twelve hours, and he was a little annoyed that it had taken Nurse Riley and M'Benga that long to find him in the first place.

His annoyance dissipated, however, when he reached the doorway of Victoria's bedroom and looked inside. And there she was, lying down right on the edge of her bed, dressed in a Starfleet Academy sweatshirt and yoga pants. Her hair was braided down her back and neatly pulled away from her face, and she was even wearing a pair of running shoes – Leonard had seen her dress like that before, when she was sparring in the rec room or accompanying Jim on a run around the ship. Nothing in her attire indicated she was violently ill, but she didn't look up, not even when he walked into the room. It was only when he touched her shoulder lightly that she flinched, her head turning slowly so he could finally see her face.

She had been crying. Her eyes were wide and bloodshot and, he realised belatedly, they were green. She had clearly taken out whatever coloured contacts she wore to dull her natural eye colour. The tear tracks running down her cheeks weren't dry either, and she was staring at him in confusion and surprise, but she also looked dazed. She had been holding a PADD in her hands that had clattered to the floor when he made her jump. Leonard picked it up and gently handed it back to her, but her hands didn't close around it.

"Darlin', what happened?" he asked softly. Victoria blinked and shook her head a little, as though she didn't understand him. "I'm gonna scan you with my tricorder, alright?" still talking softly, he reached one hand into his pocket and took out the device, holding it up so she could see. "Just hold still," he murmured, quickly running the device down her form and glancing at the results on the screen worriedly. She had a migraine, she was severely dehydrated, and her adrenaline levels indicated she had probably been out for a run a few hours ago, until whatever had happened made her shut down.

Leonard had seen this in patients before, and it worried him. Victoria was acting like she was in shock, but he had no idea why, and until she told him, he wouldn't be able to help her. She also needed her medications, but he was wary of injecting three hyposprays into her neck when she didn't look like she even recognised him at that moment. Thoughts racing, he knelt down and tried to catch her eye. The fact that she could hold his gaze, albeit dazedly, reassured him somewhat. He tried to smile at her, and she blinked slowly, as if in response. So, she wasn't reacting negatively to him. That, at least, was good.

"I'm gonna get you some water," he said, keeping his voice soft. Victoria didn't answer, and continued to lie there motionlessly as Leonard grabbed a glass from her living room and filled it with water, returning to her side immediately. He offered her the glass. "But you're gonna have to sit up if you want to hold this, darlin'," he told her. Victoria's eyes widened and she gripped the PADD, suddenly looking fearful. "Never mind," he amended hastily. "Here, let me help." Gently, he slipped a hand under her neck and helped her sit up, holding the glass up to her lips. She took a sip obediently and swallowed, wincing a little as she did. Leonard put the glass on the floor and hesitated for a few seconds before standing up again, returning to the living room to grab the box of hyposprays he had left on the table. When he came back, Victoria was sitting up, watching him instead of the PADD.

"I'm sorry about this, darlin', but I'm gonna have to give you your meds first," he said apologetically. Instead of sitting on the floor, he sat next to her on the bed and unpacked the box mechanically, trying to pay attention to what he was doing and her expressions at the same time. Her face was still blank, even when he hesitantly moved her braid off her back so he could reach her neck. Inwardly cursing himself for not thinking to bring a first-aid kit before he left sickbay, Leonard dispensed with the three hyposprays quickly and rested his hand on her shoulder, trying to coax her without words to look at him. When she turned her head, her cheek brushed against his hand; almost automatically, he stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers, and she rested her face against his palm. Leonard could feel the tear tracks on her cheeks under his fingers, and he tried, in vain, to think of something comforting to say. But he didn't need to worry. Victoria let out a shaky breath, her shoulders slumping as her eyes closed against a fresh onslaught of tears. On hindsight, Leonard wasn't sure what exactly had happened; one minute, he was caressing her face, and the next she was sobbing hysterically against his chest, and his arm was wrapped around her waist.

For a second, he was thrown. Leonard hated it when women cried. His mother was a crier, and so were his sisters. His grandmother was tough as nails, but he'd seen her cry too, at his father's funeral. The few times he had caught Uhura crying over Spock, he had wanted the ground to swallow him up whole. But those cases were different. No woman he had met cried like Victoria; her sobs were wracking through her body and she was practically choking on her own tears, one hand trying to wipe them away, as if that would be enough to banish them, while the other was fisting the front of his uniform shirt. He had never heard a woman sound so heartbroken and so terrified all at once before, and it broke his heart a little when he realised he couldn't help her. At least, not until she calmed down enough to tell him what the hell was wrong.

He didn't know how long he sat there, cradling Victoria against his chest. It felt like forever, but eventually, she did quieten, going from hysterical tears to the occasional sniff. When her grip on his shirt finally loosened, Leonard snuck a glance down at her. She didn't move her head from his chest, but let out a shaky breath. "Sorry," she mumbled.

"Don't be," he said immediately. As if in response to his voice, Victoria inhaled sharply and pulled away to reach for the box of tissues on the table by her bed. But even as she wiped her face roughly, she didn't completely escape his hold. She could move away from him, if she wanted to, Leonard realised that; but he was in no hurry for her to do so, and clearly neither was she. Scrunching up the tissue in her hand, her eyes drifted to the abandoned PADD lying next to her, and she winced. As if in reaction to the screen, she inched a little closer to him, and away from it. Leonard frowned. "What's on there that's got you so upset, darlin'? Bad news from home?"

"In a manner of speaking," said Victoria tiredly. Sighing, she picked up the PADD and handed it to him. Leonard glanced at the screen and saw that her email was open. There was a short message, followed by a link to a Starfleet announcement in an Earth newspaper.

V,

So sorry about this. Didn't want you to find out from anyone else.

Miss you.

J.

Starfleet is saddened to announce the death of Dr. Dimitri Nikols, lately of the USS Albatross and an officer of Starfleet for over thirty years. A prolific medical expert in the field of genetics and humanoid transplants, Dr. Nikols' career included…

The short obituary went on to list the doctor's credentials and his work, and Leonard frowned. The photo was of an elderly man in official Starfleet uniform, with a shock of white hair and looked to be in his sixties at least. He didn't look like Victoria, so he wasn't a relative, but the name sounded oddly familiar…

"That's the guy who did your surgery," said Leonard, suddenly remembering. "The one that saved your life. You called him Dimitri."

"Of course you remember that," muttered Victoria. Leonard didn't think he was meant to hear it, because she cleared her throat and spoke her next words louder. "My dad forwarded the email to me, from my old captain. I saw Dimitri before I left for Yorktown a few years ago. He was working in San Francisco."

"I'm sorry," said Leonard, trying not to sound as confused as he felt. "What happened to him?"

"He was ill," said Victoria softly. "And he was a good man. I hope he didn't suffer. But…" she trailed off, and then gave him an odd look out of the corner of her eye. "I shouldn't be telling you any of this, you know."

"Add it to the list," said Leonard, and Victoria's lips twitched. "What is it?"

"The last time he saw me, he told me he was going to get it out," said Victoria. It took Leonard a few seconds to figure out what she meant, and then his eyes immediately flickered down to her knee, exactly where the GX implant was. She noticed where his gaze went, and grimaced. "Dimitri said he always felt guilty because he never gave me a choice and just stuck me with this… thing, for the rest of my life. He took a ground assignment to do more research, said it would be easier to fly under a radar in his own lab. I just…" she looked at him helplessly. "I feel awful he's gone, but I feel even more awful that what I feel most awful about is the fact that I'll never know if he actually found a way or not. Basically, I'm an awful person."

Leonard shook his head. "You're a human being," he said. "It's not awful to want a normal life, darlin'."

"My priorities are so messed up," sighed Victoria. "One of my oldest friends just died and I have a complete breakdown because, what? I let myself hope that he could help me get my normal life back? It's selfish, Leonard. How many people's lives am I going to derail just because I can't stay away and learn to accept this? This is why I told Jim I can't –" abruptly, she stopped talking, her eyes widening as if she had started saying something she really wasn't supposed to reveal.

"What?" pressed Leonard. "What can't you do, darlin'?"

Victoria ran a hand over her face and groaned. "Forget it. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to dump this on you at all." She made to stand up, stumbling over her words in obvious discomfort. "I can't believe you wasted all this time just to make sure I was okay, I'm so –"

Before she could move any further away, Leonard grabbed her hand. "Clam down," he said gently. He pulled her back down to sit next to him, and Victoria obeyed listlessly. He was going to pull his hand away, conscious that she was probably more than a little uncomfortable breaking down in front of him, but Victoria gripped his hand tightly, her fingers slipping into the spaces between his own. She wasn't looking at him, but at the PADD; Leonard wondered if she even knew what she had done as he squeezed her hand back. "There's nowhere else I'd rather be, darlin'," he said reassuringly. "I imagine you can't talk to many people about why you're upset."

"And I suppose you want me to talk to you?" Victoria asked. As she glanced up at him and away from the PADD, Leonard's breath hitched in his throat. No wonder she wore those contacts all the time. Stupid, beautiful women with stupid, beautiful eyes that made him forget his train of thought.

"Why not?" he asked, already forgetting what she had asked him in the first place.

"I'm not your responsibility," she tried to argue. Tried, because Leonard could see how desperate she was to talk to somebody, anybody.

"You're not," he agreed. "But friends listen to each other's problems. Hell, if it makes you feel better, I'll bring over a bottle of bourbon and tell you all about how my ex-wife threw me out. That story warrants you at least an hour of bendin' my ear, I guarantee you."

Victoria let out a short laugh. "I don't think you, me and a bottle of bourbon is going to solve any of my problems, Leonard."

"Might be fun, though."

"Probably," agreed Victoria. "But it's almost four, and life goes on. I should get ready for my shift."

"You shouldn't go on shift," said Leonard immediately.

Victoria raised an eyebrow. "Are you saying that as my doctor, or as the man who had to watch me cry hysterically for twenty minutes?"

"I'm sayin' it as your friend, darlin'."

"I'm okay," she shrugged. "Don't get me wrong, I really, really appreciate the shoulder to cry on. But, I'm a big girl. I've got this. You just caught me at a bad time."

Leonard was about to retort, but Victoria's eyes were glinting stubbornly. He had seen that look before, and he knew he wouldn't win if he started an argument with her. "Fine," he relinquished, and she looked relieved. "You'll come see me or Julia if you need anythin'?"

"I wouldn't go to anyone else," assured Victoria. Leonard nodded, satisfied, and waited for her to move, but she didn't. The seconds ticked by, and then…

"Leonard?" Victoria sounded like she was trying not to laugh.

"Yeah?"

"You can let go of my hand now."

Leonard raised his eyebrows, but made no move to drop her hand. "You started it, darlin'."

"Sorry," Victoria slipped her hand out of his grip, smiling slightly. "Although, I didn't hear you complaining."

"When a beautiful woman wants to hold my hand, I don't complain. Not that it happens to me often."

"Doesn't it?" she tilted her head to the side curiously. "I find that hard to believe."

"You shouldn't," snorted Leonard. "You're talkin' to possibly the most chronically single man in the Federation, if Jim's to be believed."

"Well, in that case, you're in good company," she laughed. "I can't remember the last time I went out on a date, let alone had a relationship."

Leonard couldn't resist asking, "It ain't for a lack of offers though, is it?"

Victoria turned to look at him properly, a small smile playing around her lips. "No, it's not," she admitted. "But my answer hasn't changed in a few years now."

"No?" he tried to sound casual.

"No," she smiled again and stood up. She gestured for him to precede her out of her bedroom and towards the door, and Leonard obeyed, a little reluctantly. But she was still smiling, and after she'd wiped the tear-tracks off her face and allowed time for the puffiness around her eyes to recede, she looked almost normal. Almost, because her eyes were still green and Leonard was sure he was going to dream about them the next time he allowed himself to fall asleep.

"I'll see you around," he said, as she opened the door for him.

Victoria hummed in reply. Leonard stepped across the threshold, but stopped abruptly when he felt her hand touch his sleeve. He turned to give her a questioning look, and saw that she was chewing on her lip anxiously, looking a little torn. Before he could ask her what was wrong, she had braced a hand on his arm and gotten up on her toes – without her heels, she was a good head shorter than him – and planted a kiss on his cheek.

Leonard froze, just as Victoria turned pink. She tucked her hair behind her ears and shrugged a single shoulder. "Thanks," she said, smiling faintly. "See you later."

Leonard didn't know if he nodded in response, or even answered her goodbye. He merely blinked and the door slid shut, and he found himself staring at it as his muscle slowly unlocked. A smile broke out over his face the longer he stood there, and he finally turned away from the door, chuckling under his breath. There would be time to unpack those few seconds later, he decided, as he began the walk back to sickbay. There would be time, because he was determined to make time, because Victoria More deserved his time. But not yet. Right now, he had something more important to do. But, he allowed himself a few seconds to let his thoughts wander as he stepped into the turbolift, letting out a deep breath.

Her hair had smelled like jasmine.