I have no words except... this is the one that everyone's been waiting for. xx

Thirty Five

"You know, the father of the bride doesn't normally hit the bar until after the I do's."

Leonard snorted. "Good thing I ain't the father then."

"Still, this doesn't bode well for Joanna's wedding." Jim sidled up to Leonard and signalled to the ensign behind the make-shift bar for a drink, giving his friend's glass a wary glance. "You're not on duty after this, are you?"

Leonard shook his head. "Nurses are manning Sickbay right now and M'Benga'll head there after this," he said. "But Julia told me I had to stay for the whole damn ceremony and reception."

Jim sighed. "You're walking her down the aisle, Bones, the least you can do is dance with her before skulking back to your office."

"Damn woman blackmailed me into it before she even told me I had to wear my dress uniform."

"Yeah, it isn't exactly festive," grimaced Jim, tugging at the collar of his own uniform. "I'm surprised Spock said we could do the wedding so soon. I was sure he'd hate the idea."

"Maybe he's softenin' you up before he proposes to Uhura," suggested Leonard, smiling at the idea.

Jim grinned. "Is marriage logical?"

"Procreation is," Leonard winced as he finished his drink. "Have I mentioned I hate weddings?"

"A few hours of enjoying yourself won't kill you," said Jim. He took a sip of his own drink and glanced around the crowded mess hall, his eyes clearly searching. Fixing his gaze on the doorway, he continued speaking casually, "So, I got an interesting memo this morning."

"Did you?" Leonard signalled for another drink.

"Yeah. From you."

Leonard didn't answer, his eyes immediately darting around the room to make sure a particular scientist wasn't within earshot. Fortunately, Victoria hadn't arrived in the mess hall yet. "Did you say yes?" he asked quietly.

"If you mean did I approve your request for access to a dead man's files, yes I did," said Jim, lowering his own voice. "But we both know your reasoning was bogus."

Leonard ignored the underlying question in Jim's voice. "He worked on extra-terrestrial transplants. It's an interesting field, could be useful to us out here."

"Bullshit, Bones. You asked for everything he's worked on, from the Laurentian missions to now."

"It's all public record, Jim. I just need your damn signature for his most recent stuff."

"I signed it, Bones, but you need to tell me why you're doing this."

"Same reason you are," said Leonard. When he turned to look at Jim, the captain was giving him an impassive look. Leonard groaned. "I can help her, Jim."

"How?" demanded Jim. "You can't say that and let me give her false hope, Bones, I won't do that to her."

"Then don't tell her."

"I can't do that either!"

"Jim, I just want to look at his notes and see if there's somethin' in there that can get the damn thing out of her leg," snapped Leonard. "She told me he was tryin' to do it, and now he's dead. Can you think of a better doctor to try and find out what he got at before he died than me?"

"When I told you to help Tori, I didn't mean go behind her back and do it!" hissed Jim. "Do you know what she'll do when she finds out?"

"I'm just sayin' I need some time, Jim, I'm not askin' you to keep this secret forever."

"I can't keep a secret from her, period," snapped Jim. "Tori's paranoid, Bones. She will freak out if she finds out someone is snooping into her life like this, and I can't do that to her."

"She won't, and she can't," said Leonard firmly. "Just keep your mouth shut until I read those files and see what Dimitri was workin' on. If there's nothing there, we forget all about it. If there is, we'll tell her."

Jim sighed. "Bones, I don't –"

"I don't want to get her hopes up either, Jim, but the woman cried hysterically in my arms for twenty minutes when she found out he died. I ain't dealin' with that again."

Jim narrowed his eyes. "After all this, are you seriously still denying that you have feelings for her?"

"My feelings have nothin' to do with it," lied Leonard. And judging from the look on his face, Jim knew he was lying. But Leonard wasn't interested in defending himself on that front, as long as he got what he wanted. "Just get me the files when they arrive, Jim. I gotta go now. Julia told me to check on her five minutes before it started. I'll see you up there." Patting Jim's shoulder and ignoring the look on his face, he walked off.

The conference room across from the mess hall had been transformed into a make-shift bridal suite for Julia, and the smaller room next to it was holding John Camus and his two groomsmen. As Leonard walked up to the door and buzzed to be let in, he heard laughter from inside, and it was only as the door slid open that he realised Julia wasn't alone.

It was Uhura who opened the door. "You clean up nice," she said in greeting, grinning at him. "Here for the bride?"

"On her own orders," grumbled Leonard, but smiled nonetheless. "And you look beautiful."

"Thank you," Uhura smiled brightly and gestured for him to enter. "We're just about done here, you can wait around if you want."

"Thanks," Leonard glanced around the room and saw that, other than Uhura, there were three other women in the room, one of whom was the bride. He didn't know how Julia had managed to find a white dress and a veil in the two weeks since she'd first asked him to walk her down the aisle, but he knew better than to question how she got things done. He didn't recognise the other women, but considering they were all wearing similar dresses to Uhura, he assumed they were bridesmaids.

"I'm almost done, and then you can go back to the bar," teased Julia, grinning at him from behind one of the women, who was carefully pinning the veil into her hair.

"Take your time," assured Leonard, trying not to let his grudging tone show too much. He was annoyed, yes, but it was mostly because Jim had cornered him – he had been hoping to catch him alone, in his office, after he'd had time to come up with a reasonable excuse as to why he wanted Dr. Dimitri Nikol's files. And even though his excuse had been shoddy at best, Jim had still agreed to it. That was something Leonard had been sure about, because Jim wanted to help Victoria just as much as Leonard did, if not for quite the same reasons. If it meant she wouldn't get hurt, Jim would do anything, and Leonard was counting on that.

The door buzzed again just as Julia turned away from one of her bridesmaids. Another woman entered, and Leonard's eyebrows shot up: she was carrying a tray piled with bouquets, three identical ones for the bridesmaids and one larger one that was obviously for Julia. It was impossible to see her face over the pile of flowers, however, so it wasn't until Uhura had removed one of the bouquets from the tray carefully that Leonard realised it was Victoria More.

She didn't see him at first and laughed at Julia's shriek, setting the tray down on the table and picking up the largest bouquet carefully. "You told me to go all out," she said, giggling at Julia's wide eyes. "I can take a few of the stems out if you want, but –"

"Don't you dare!" exclaimed Julia, practically tripping over her own feet to get to the flowers. "When you said you had a green thumb, I didn't think you meant you could get all my favourite flowers in two weeks!"

"I have a gift," shrugged Victoria. She handed the other bouquets to the bridesmaids, and her back was still to Leonard. The sharp contrast with the pastel colours the other women wore, however, meant that she probably wasn't a bridesmaid. Victoria was wearing a black, wide-legged jumpsuit with a cinched waist, accentuated with a gold belt, and high heels that made her legs look incredible, even if they were covered up. Leonard knew he was imagining the scent of jasmine that was suddenly lingering in the air, because she was too far away for him to be able to smell the scent of her shampoo, and there were no jasmines in the bouquets she had just brought in. But it made him think of the last time he'd seen her, and he was suddenly unwilling to announce himself, because she was still laughing and talking quietly, and he liked seeing her smile. So, he folded his arms across his chest and leaned against the wall, watching her.

It took Uhura about three seconds to notice what Leonard was doing, and suddenly she was standing in his line of sight, her hands on her hips and a grin on her face.

"Not very subtle," she said quietly, her smile widening when Leonard immediately cleared his throat and looked away. "Let me help you out," she winked and turned back, clapping her hands to get everyone's attention. "Okay, we need to leave, but I think the stand-in for the father of the bride needs one of those flowers in his lapel."

"I have extras," said Victoria, rummaging through the mess of greenery on the tray as she immediately spun around to face him. "Who – oh, hi," she blinked as her eyes landed on Leonard, and he was sure he wasn't imagining the way her cheeks suddenly went pink. "I – didn't see you."

"Leonard doesn't like weddings," explained Uhura.

Julia rolled her eyes as she smoothed down the wrinkles in her dress. "And he's let me know it," she said pointedly. "Chief, I'm just going to go check on John, can I trust that you'll meet me by the doors in a few minutes?"

"Tori will make sure he does. We'll come with you," said Uhura immediately. Within seconds, she somehow managed to herd the other bridesmaids and Julia out of the room, throwing a quick, "See you out there, Tori!" over her shoulder as the doors slid shut behind her.

There was silence for a few beats, and then Victoria giggled. "They're not very subtle," she said, and Leonard chanced a smile, because she seemed more amused than embarrassed. "So," she continued, picking up two seemingly identical flowers from the tray. "Which one do you prefer?"

Leonard grimaced. "You're askin' the wrong man, darlin'. Which one do you like?"

"Well, I like roses," she said, beckoning him closer. "Got a pin?" At his raised eyebrow, she laughed again. "Never mind. Which one of those fancy medals are you least attached to?"

"Whichever one you like the least."

"You're being extra charming today." Still smiling, she unpinned one of his medals and slipped two fingers between the top two buttons of his dress uniform shirt. Narrowing her eyes in concentration, she used the medal to pin the flower to right next to the Starfleet insignia, flipping it so it could be hidden behind the stem of the flower. At Leonard's raised eyebrows, she laughed. "Lots of arts and crafts projects," she said, by way of explanation. The scent of jasmine hit him again, and he tried not make it obvious that having her stand so close to him was having an effect she obviously didn't anticipate. Fortunately, Victoria didn't notice. Patting his chest, she stepped back and smiled. "All done."

As she headed back to the table to collect the tray that she had carried the bouquet in, Leonard found himself asking, "With who?"

"What?"

"Arts and crafts," said Leonard, unwilling to end the conversation just yet. "Who'd you do 'em with?"

"Demora," said Victoria, smiling a little. "And before that, with a certain Starfleet captain."

Leonard raised his eyebrows. "You're kiddin'."

"Not at all. He was very into papier-mâché. We made lots of farm animals. Don't tell him I told you though," she added, eyes twinkling. "He likes people to think he was a truant even in kindergarten."

Leonard snorted. "Pretty sure he was, darlin'."

"Only after he did his homework," Victoria giggled. She picked up the empty tray and tucked it under her arm, gesturing towards the door. "Showtime, Dr. McCoy. It's bad luck to keep the bride waiting."

Leonard sighed. "I hate weddings."

"They're not all bad," said Victoria. As the doors slid open, she glanced back over her shoulder at him. "We haven't even gotten to the best part yet."

Leonard smiled tiredly. "Yeah? What's that?"

"Save me a dance and I'll tell you," she winked, and walked out the door.

!

Victoria smiled politely as the engineer in front of her continued to talk her ear off about warp coils and the latest engineering fiasco – at least, she thought that was what he was talking about. She had stopped paying attention about ten minutes ago, when he had approached her along with two science officers she was vaguely familiar with. She knew none of their names, but they had engaged her in polite conversation as they all waited for their drinks at the bar. And then the two officers had left, but the engineer had stayed, and Victoria suspected it was because the music had started, and he was no doubt waiting for the right time to ask her to dance. She had her refusal prepped and ready to go and was completely without remorse, because she had been watching Leonard McCoy across the room for the last twenty minutes, and she was loathe to accept another offer to dance when she had made it perfectly clear she was waiting on an invitation from him.

After all, if she was going to be reckless, she might as well enjoy herself.

Right on cue, the song changed to something slower, and the engineer paused midway through his story, taking in a deep breath to prepare for his question. But before he could say anything, a different voice interjected. "Mind if I cut in?"

"I – no, sir," said the engineer, the annoyance in his tone quickly morphing into defeat when he saw that it was Leonard who was standing behind him. Nodding, he abandoned his drink at the bar and left, and Victoria giggled.

"What?" asked Leonard, taking his empty spot immediately.

"You're going to have to dance with me now, or else he'll just feel bad," she told him.

"I have a better idea," said Leonard. Victoria raised her eyebrows as he leaned over the bar and reached down behind it, emerging with a bottle and two glasses in his hands. He smirked at her expression. "Care to join me for a drink?"

"I told you, you, me and a bottle of bourbon isn't a good idea," reminded Victoria, but she was already following him out of the mess hall, the music and crowds of people enjoying themselves providing excellent cover so that no one even saw them leave. "Where are we going?" she asked, speeding up as Leonard headed for the turbolift.

"Somewhere we can actually have a conversation," was all Leonard said. The turbolift was empty and he stepped inside, saying a deck number Victoria didn't recognise. When she quirked up an eyebrow at him, he merely smirked, and it made her smile.

When the turbolift stopped and the doors opened, Victoria's smile grew wider. He had brought her back to the observation deck.

"Don't ever tell me you're not charming," said Victoria, stepping off the lift and heading towards the largest view-screen. Leonard merely chuckled, and Victoria was reminded of the last time she had been in this part of the ship. The day Leonard McCoy had apologised to her, and told her they could be – should be – friends, because space was a lonely place.

Except, with him, she didn't feel so alone.

Victoria heard the clink of glasses behind her and tore her gaze away from the vast expanse of space, turning around to find that Leonard had set the bottle and glasses down on a small bench by one of the pillars, and had already poured her a drink. He sat down, and almost immediately reached a hand up to tug at the collar of his dress uniform. "Never understood the point of these damn things," he mumbled, struggling to undo the top buttons.

"You keep that up and you're just going to make it worse," said Victoria. She joined him near the bench and slapped his hand away, undoing the top two buttons herself and winking when he let out a deep exhale. "If it helps, you look very handsome. Way to upstage the groom."

Leonard snorted. "Now who's bein' charming?"

"Still you," Victoria accepted her own glass from him and sat down, her eyes drifting back to the large windows that surrounded them. "Isn't it spectacular?"

"Sure," said Leonard sarcastically. "I like a good reminder that the only thing standin' between me and death in a vacuum is a few sheets of metal."

Victoria laughed. "Is that why you brought me here? To remind me of my own mortality?"

"No," said Leonard, taking another sip of his drink. "I brought you here so I didn't punch that ensign who was hittin' on you."

"He wasn't hitting on me," lied Victoria. She hid her smile behind her glass and kept her eyes fixed on the windows.

"He couldn't keep his eyes off your legs. Trust me, he was hittin' on you."

"I'm not even wearing a dress," she said. She extended her leg, and the hem of her jumpsuit rode up a little to show that she was indeed wearing heels. Except, these were red.

Leonard swallowed thickly and took another gulp of his drink. "You don't need to wear a dress for men to stare, believe me," was all he trusted himself to say.

"Speaking from experience?"

"If I am, I ain't gonna tell you."

Victoria laughed. "Okay, I'll bite. Why are we really here, if not to stare at my legs or protect me from ensigns who have a crush on me?"

Leonard put down his glass and turned to look at her reluctantly. "Why d'you think we're here, darlin'?"

"If you want to talk about what happened the other day –"

"The hysterical crying and calling yourself an awful person? That's just the tip of the iceberg," Leonard rolled his eyes.

Victoria sighed. "You don't have to worry about me, you know. I'm not your responsibility."

"I don't think of you as a responsibility, darlin'. I just want you to know you can talk to me."

"I do know that. But I –"

"If that sentence ends with a can't or a won't, I don't wanna hear it."

Victoria huffed and leaned back against the pillar. "No wonder Jim says you're impossible. It's like being at confession."

Leonard frowned. "What, like in court?"

"No, like a priest," Victoria rolled her eyes. "You people really don't read anything further back than from fifty years ago, do you?"

Leonard shrugged. "Haven't needed to since I joined Starfleet. They're all about the future."

"Is that why you joined?" Victoria asked, before she could stop herself. "To get away from the past?" Leonard raised his eyebrows at her, and Victoria grimaced. "I know, I know. Pot, meet kettle. Can't answer any of your questions, but I expect you to answer mine."

"Not that I wouldn't love to answer you, darlin', but I think that'd set a bad precedent."

Victoria's lips twitched. "Spoken like a true parent. Fine, you win."

Smirking, Leonard returned to sipping his drink, and Victoria turned back to the viewscreens. No matter what Leonard said, the view was breath-taking, and Victoria was determined to enjoy it. As she took a sip from her own glass, she sighed contentedly and leaned back against the pillar again.

"What?" asked Leonard curiously.

"I was just thinking –" she began, and then stopped when she realised what she had been about to blurt out. "Actually, I think this may be the bourbon talking."

"Ah," Leonard sounded amused. "You haven't had enough to use that excuse yet, darlin'."

"I haven't, have I?" Victoria groaned. Oh, what the hell. "Fine. I was just thinking that this… is nice."

"What is?" now he sounded like he was trying not to laugh.

Victoria narrowed her eyes and threw him a dirty look. "Suddenly, you're a lot less charming than you were when you weren't laughing at me."

"I'm not laughing," said Leonard, even as his lips twitched. He indicated the windows in front of them with his glass. "Maybe I'm just enjoying the view."

"Sure you are," she rolled her eyes, but the fact that he was smiling made her feel a little more confident, so she continued, "It's just… nice. Sitting here, with you. I don't like crowds, but I don't like staying in my room all night staring at my computer either. So this…"

"Is nice?" offered Leonard, clearly laughing now, and Victoria groaned, abandoning her glass on the bench and standing up. "Hey, I'm kidding," he insisted. He stood up as well and grabbed her wrist as she walked by, ignoring the glare she threw his way. "I'm not laughing at you, darlin', I promise."

"Yes, you are," Victoria sighed. "And you have every right to."

"But I'm not," he assured her, and smiled. And Victoria found herself smiling back, because despite the fact that she was a little awkward, she couldn't think of anywhere else she wanted to be at that moment except standing next to Leonard McCoy, just as his fingers slipped from her wrist to encapsulate her hand, and the warmth that spread from where his skin touched hers almost made her sigh again. Except she didn't think she was subtle enough, because he was suddenly standing a little closer than he had been before, and his other hand was trailing up her arm to cup her cheek. Her whole body felt deliciously warm, and she found herself leaning in closer, unsure if it was the bourbon or Leonard's proximity that was suddenly making her head feel heavy, and her breathing turn shallow. They were so close that she could feel his breath against her cheek, and that was when it hit her that he was about to kiss her, and she wanted him to, and automatically her hand came up to rest against his chest, gently stopping him.

"I-I'm sorry," she stammered, and she was too embarrassed to notice how breathless she sounded, or the fact that she was just clutching his hand tighter instead of letting him go. "But I – we can't. We really, really can't."

Leonard didn't seem surprised at her words. "Okay," he said quietly. "But you're the one who's gonna have to let me go this time, darlin'."

Victoria bit her lip and dropped his hand. His face was blank as she took a few steps back, but the further away she got from him, the more she realised how important it was that she said what she wanted to say next. "It's not that I don't want to," she said quietly. "But I just – you're such a great guy, and I really like you, and you don't deserve what would happen if we were to… do anything, to become something. Because this would have an expiration date," she continued breathlessly, and she knew she was rambling, but Leonard hadn't moved and his face was still carefully expressionless, and she couldn't stop tripping over her own words. "And you don't deserve that, Leonard, and neither do I, because I'm so tired of being sad all the time. And that should prove to you that I do like you, because otherwise I really wouldn't be able to say any of this."

When she stopped talking, slightly out of breath, he spoke. "Breathe," he said gently, and she exhaled shakily. "I'm not tryin' to make this worse for you, darlin', and I won't force you into somethin' you don't want. But I gotta know something. Why are you the only one who gets to make this decision, if it's about you and me?"

"Because I know better."

Leonard smiled at her sadly. "You don't, though. You don't know me. You don't know if I'd be okay with an expiration date."

"You shouldn't be okay with it," snapped Victoria, her desperation finally morphing into frustration. "I don't know if you've noticed, Leonard, but you can't just be my crutch in times of crisis. I can't just lean on you now, and take something like this from you, and then throw you away when it's time to move on!"

"That's my decision, not yours," he shot back. Julia's words rang in his ears. Some women just want a guy who sticks around through the good and the bad. "You never asked me if this is what I wanted."

"Even if it is what you want, it isn't what I want," insisted Victoria. "Can't you see that? I don't want to spend every day knowing I'm going to be miserable when this is all over! Do you know how many people I've said goodbye to? What makes you think I'd want to do that to myself again?"

Leonard closed the distance between them again, grasping her arms. "We're not saying goodbye, Victoria," he said, keeping his voice calm. She avoided his eye, and he released one hand to touch her cheek. "I'm serious, darlin'."

Victoria closed her eyes and shook her head stubbornly. "Yes, we are," she bit out. "Maybe not today, or this year, or for the next three years, but we will say goodbye after that. And I just know it's going to kill me, Leonard, and that's without any of this," she gestured at the lack of space between them. When she finally looked back up at him, his heart skipped a beat, and it was painful. "I can't let myself get in any deeper," she whispered. "I wish I could, but I just… I can't. Please, just trust me."

Her eyes were bloodshot with repressed tears, and he couldn't stand it. Crying women were his biggest weakness. "Okay," he whispered back. Slowly, he let go of her hands and made to step back, but she was still looking up at him, a little helplessly, and he suddenly felt like he should be doing something more. Anything more.

And then he remembered that he was.

"I just have one question," he said, and in the back of his mind he wondered why his palms were suddenly sweating.

Victoria sighed quietly. "Fine," she said. "What?"

"What if there was a way for you to stay?" he asked. Victoria made a sound of frustration, but he persisted. "C'mon, just humour me. If you didn't have to walk away at the end of this mission, would you still say no?"

"Of course not," she said. "But that's impossible. Any way for me to have a normal life died with Dimitri, and I made my peace with that. And now, you should too."

It made no sense for him to suddenly feel better when she said that, because he still had no idea if his plan would work, if there was anything that the files arriving onto his PADD in the next few days would contain something that could help her. And then he realised, if this was all he was ever going to get from Victoria More, it wouldn't kill him to ask the question he'd been thinking about practically since the day he'd met her.

"Okay," he said again, and Victoria looked relieved. "Last question."

Victoria sighed. "Yes?"

"Just remember, knowin' what I know now, you're off the hook," he pointed out. "You don't have to feel guilty about me having feelings for you, or you having feelings for me, because you've decided for us that this can't go anywhere. Right?"

"Sure," Victoria narrowed her eyes. "What's the question, Leonard?"

Leonard took a deep breath. "It doesn't have to go anywhere, darlin', but I still want to kiss you. Once. Is that okay?"

And then, he waited. Victoria's eyes had widened, and she was staring at him with her mouth slightly open. It was only a few seconds before she replied, but in his head it felt like hours. When she finally spoke, he couldn't tell if she sounded more surprised or more amused. "It's more romantic not to ask for permission."

His lips twitched up as he leaned down slowly, and Victoria smiled back. "Sorry," he murmured, inching his face closer to hers. "Too old-fashioned for that."

Victoria wanted to say that was the problem, that she liked that about him, but she didn't get the chance. If she had been expecting a chaste kiss after the weeks, months of tension that had coiled up inside her body since the day she'd realised she was attracted to him, she quickly realised she was wrong. His lips were soft and unrelenting against hers, and she hated how good it felt to finally kiss him and be in his arms, because a small part of her still thought that this couldn't be real, that she couldn't possibly be hopelessly falling for a man she couldn't have. And yet, that was definitely what was happening. As his hand curved around the nape of her neck to deepen the kiss, the butterflies in her stomach multiplied and she dug her nails into the stiff material of his dress uniform shirt, trying to get closer. Almost as if he read her mind, his free arm wrapped around her waist and crushed her against his chest, and Victoria whimpered against his mouth. All she could think about, taste, feel,was Leonard, and she didn't want it to stop.

But it did stop, and only because they both needed to breathe. As Victoria broke the kiss and attempted to take in deep breaths, she realised that her arms had wound themselves around Leonard's neck at some point, and one of the reasons her pulse was still racing and she was still lightheaded was because his lips were only inches away, and she suddenly wanted to kiss him again. And, judging by the way he still hadn't let her go, he was thinking the same thing.

"This was such a bad idea," she said breathlessly, resting her forehead against his.

"The worst," he agreed. "Can't believe I just asked for one."

Victoria gasped out a laugh and buried her face into his chest, letting out a sigh when she felt him kiss the top of her head. She was comfortable, and content, so she allowed herself to enjoy thirty seconds of the closest she'd ever felt to pure bliss in her life. And then, she slowly pulled back. When she glanced up at Leonard's face, he was smiling sadly.

"We should go," she forced herself to say. "I – and I should probably go first, shouldn't I?"

"If you want to," he said quietly.

"I don't," she said. Ignoring the sane part of her brain that was telling her to leave, she reached up and kissed him again, shorter this time, but it still made her heart race. "But I should," she whispered. He hummed in reply and kissed her forehead, his lips lingering against her skin. But he was too much of a gentleman to instigate another kiss, not when he'd only asked for one and she was clearly reluctant. When his hands dropped from her body, Victoria let out a shaky breath and stepped back, turning around and practically fleeing from the observation deck. She didn't turn back even when she got to the turbolift, so she didn't see Leonard lean back heavily against the pillar and watch her go, nor could she tell what he was thinking as the doors shut behind her.

When he was finally alone, Leonard sank down onto the bench again and, ignoring the two glasses, picked up the bottle and took a long swig. His head was spinning and every part of him was on fire; he knew exactly what he needed to do, and he knew he had to start now. Jim needed to get him those files, and he needed to find a way to finish whatever Dimitri had started. Because Victoria More was too damn special to let go, and he was going to make sure she didn't have to leave the Enterprise, or him, unless she actually wanted to.