A/N: Hi, cuties! Sorry for the wait again, and here's the chapter! so this took a completely different turn, but oh well. Shit happens. Hope you like it!

Thanks to everyone who reviewed and favourited and followed the story since last chapter, it means the world to me! I'd usually mention you all but I'm running late so I'll just say

THANK YOU I LOVE YOU AND YOUR WORDS AND SUPPORT MEAN THE WORLD TO ME.

p.s. has anyone read The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater? I am obesessed with it omg, it's sooo good. I FUCKING LOVE DICK GANSEY AND I AM SOOOO NOT READY FOR THE RAVEN KING SEND HELP PLS

Chapter 25: Nightmare come alive.

It happened on Easter. Or, to be more precise, Holy Saturday, the Easter Hogsmeade trip. To be completely honest, I've always split my life in two: before and after that day. The day I realize hope was lost and the odds were never in our favour, no matter what Dumbledore said. Thursday morning, I woke up to whispers. This time they weren't mean, though; they were clearly excited. I rolled over in bed, putting the duvet up to my chin.

"She came back at three in the morning!" Marlene stage whispered.

"I wonder if that means they're together now." Dorcas wondered.

She wasn't as inconspicuous as Marlene, though, and her raised voice made me want to throw a pillow at her to get her to shut up. They clearly knew I was incredibly sleep deprived, couldn't they try to properly whisper, at least?

"No, I don't think so," this was Lily. Her voice was weird, almost far away. Maybe she was in the toilet. "I mean, after all they've gone through? No way they just got together like that. They probably didn't even kiss."

"Oh, my god." I groaned, kicking the duvet away and sitting up. I sent them a glare. Marlene and Dorcas were sitting in Marlene's bed, which would explain why they sounded so close.

"Morning!" Marlene chirped, not at all fazed by my glare.

"Shut up." I mumbled, crankily getting up and making my way to the toilets.

They followed me. Lily was combing her hair in front of the mirror by the sink; next to hers, my reflection looked like an ogre. I briefly wondered if I looked like this last night. My make up had sort of melted down my face until I looked like a sad clown. The only thing that had almost survived was my matte lipstick, which was already really resistant. What made me frown were the tear tracks of mascara down my face. I hadn't cried last night, not at all. So why did it look like I had? Deciding I'd probably just cried in my sleep, which wasn't much comforting of an idea, I nudged Lily slightly to the left and opened the faucet.

"So...?" Marlene asked, putting the toilet lid down and sitting on it.

"What happened?" Dorcas asked, biting her lip.

I rolled my eyes. "Nothing happened," I shrugged, trying very hard not to get the scrubby soap inside my eyes.

"Really?" Lily scoffed, fighting with me for a space on the mirror as she started to apply eye make-up. "We left at eleven and you came back up at three, but you're saying nothing happened?"

Something about the way she said it made me think maybe Sirius and I being left alone yesterday hadn't been an accident. One glance at the almost giddy Marlene only confirmed it. I laughed, drying my face with a small towel.

"I can't believe you three," I said, already going to brush my teeth. "Did you convince the boys to leave as well?"

"Convince?" Dorcas snorted. "They were out of there the minute we hinted at it."

The idea that all of our friends seemed to want Sirius and I together or at least with things clear between us made me feel warm inside. I allowed a smile. It was completely directed at them and their support, not at anything that had taken place last night, but that's not how they interpreted it.

"Oh, my gosh, something did happen!" this was Lily, who turned to face me with only one of her eyes lined and with mascara already, which made her face look weird and mismatched.

"We... kissed." I admitted, deciding to leave the conversation leading up to that kiss to myself.

I knew that in that same tower but in another room, Sirius had probably told the boys about it as well. If Remus, James and Peter had been so willing to leave us alone then they definitely would want to know what had happened and Merlin knew boys could gossip just as much as girls. I didn't know if he'd tell them everything, but I still felt like the rawness of that conversation had to be kept private.

"Yes!" Marlene exclaimed, triumphant.

"Damn, Mere, come on!" Dorcas whined, stomping the ground with a booted foot. I raised my eyebrows. "You couldn't wait a few days."

"Oh, shut up, Meadowes, and pay." Marlene demanded, offering a hand for the payment to be put in.

"Excuse me?" I asked, slightly appalled.

"They betted on it. How long before you two kissed." Lily shrugged. "Dorcas said it'd happened after the Easter break."

"Clearly she doesn't know you like I do." Marlene giggled, watching excitedly as Dorcas deposited ten galleons on Marlene's hand.

I scoffed. "Glad to know you're making a profit at my expense." I commented before going back to my bed.

My wristwatch alerted me of the fact that I could be late if I didn't get a move on, so I just got dressed as fast as I could and decided to brush my hair on the way down to breakfast, opting not to wear make-up today.

"So are you together now?" Marlene asked, handing me my bag on our way down the stairs.

The question made me pause, which in turn made Marlene and Dorcas pause which also made Lily pause so she wouldn't walk into us. Sirius and I hadn't decided anything about what the kiss meant. In fact, once we'd started kissing we didn't do much but things that would make my mother flinch and force me to wash the sofa until it was squeaky clean. Somehow, I didn't see how my friends would benefit from that information, especially because I knew it would also make them force me to wash the sofa until it was squeaky clean. So I just shrugged and said:

"I don't know, actually."

"What do you mean you don't know?" Lily asked, appearing in the space between Dorcas and me. I sent her a look. Her eyes widened. "Oh."

"'Oh' what?" Marlene asked, tugging my other arm until I turned to her. It took a second of her looking at me for her to get it. "Mere! And to think you told us to keep you away from him!" she laughed.

Lily joined her. I rolled my eyes. Dorcas whined.

"Guys, this is not the time for you three to have one of your weird telepathic conversations! I want to know the details too."

"We don't do that." Marlene and Lily said at the same time. Dorcas pouted comically.

"We didn't exactly do much talking, Dorcas, darling." I explained.

"Oh." Dorcas giggled, stretching the 'o' until you forgot it was the start of a word.

"And is there going to be more?" Marlene asked.

I shrugged. I wasn't really planning on rushing... whatever the hell last night had been. Like I said before, I just wanted him in my life as a friend or as something more, I didn't really care. The girls kept trying to get more information out of me; apparently they hadn't believed me when I said 'I don't know'. We reached the Great Hall soon enough and, considering the boys were already there, they had to shut up about it. I ended up sat down next to Remus, two spaces across from Sirius, which was a good thing because I was suddenly incredibly nervous.

I met his eyes over the table twice. The first time it was an accident. James called my name, I looked up and my attention went directly to Sirius, who was already looking at me. I almost choked on my oatmeal. The second time, he sent me a small smile, which had me suppressing a smile for the rest of breakfast as I very badly attempted to maintain a conversation with Remus and keep my mind out of the gutter. It wasn't an easy task.

I walked out of breakfast relaxed, knowing I wouldn't have to see him until lunch because I didn't have any classes with him this morning, which meant I wouldn't be so distracted. This whole thing wasn't going as smoothly as I had planned. If he came to the decision that he didn't feel anything but adorable platonic feelings towards me, how was I supposed to look at him as a friend if the second we made eye contact I felt like jumping his bones? God, I was screwed.

Never the less, I was relaxed on my way to Divination. One-hundred-per-cent relaxed. I wouldn't see him until lunch and then I'd have Dark Arts with him but that wasn't a problem because we all had Dark Arts together. I would be cool and collected. That was my plan. I had a plan, nothing could go wrong. Except my plan didn't include being grabbed by the elbow and thrown into a broom closet.

"Ouch." Sirius groaned, massaging his forehead. "Did you just flick me?"

"Sorry, I panicked." I grimaced. He hummed down at me, eyes filled with amusement. "I'm going to be late for class." I commented, very much aware of my heart beating painfully against my ribcage.

"Skip it." He shrugged, taking one step towards me and basically ending any sort of distance between us.

"I can't." I bit my lip. "Tobias promised to teach me how to improve my... thing." I finished lamely, not really wanting to utter the word 'premonition'.

Sirius frowned and his hand froze on the way to my neck. I assumed he'd seen the importance of my attending to class so I could meet with Tobias after and so we'd go different ways and I could go back to my plan. But, instead of stepping aside and opening the door, he asked:

"Are you still talking to him about that?"

"Of course I am," I said. A beat. "Why?"

"No reason." He shook his head. "Just, I don't think it's very appropriate that you and Professor Grace hang out so much."

"You told me it'd be best considering divination is not exactly your area of expertise." I raised my eyebrows, not really mad.

This was an interesting turn of events. Because while the rational part of my head was slightly offended over his apparent disapproval—as if I needed it.—the other part of my brain was half hopeful, half excited. Sirius Black was jealous of the fact I was confiding in Tobias Grace.

"Well, yes, but that was then." He mumbled.

"Then?" I asked, trying not to laugh. I was not very successful.

"Yeah, then, when—um, you know, we weren't exactly friends." He managed to get out, looking like a trapped deer.

"So now that we're friends," I started slowly, rolling the word 'friends' with delicacy, trying to gauge his reaction to it. If he was bothered by it, he didn't let it show. "I can't talk to Professor Grace anymore?" I asked, using the right title just to tease him.

Honestly, at this point, I didn't even care if we ended up being nothing but just friends after this conversation. This was just too much fun.

"No! Of course not. That's not what I meant." Sirius groaned, shaking his head and leaning against the door.

"No, please, do continue." I motioned at him with a hand, barely holding back laughter. "I'm loving where this is going."

He chuckled. I finally laughed. It was strangely liberating. Sirius pushed himself away from the door and closer to me, which made my laughter died out slowly. The nervousness returned. This was silly. We'd been much, much closer before but I didn't think he had ever thrown me inside a broom closet with Merlin knew what sorts of intentions.

"This is not what I had planned." He shook his head, so close to me that I had no choice but to crane my neck up so I could meet his eyes.

"Really? 'Cause whenever I push someone into a broom closet all I want to do is talk about mundane trivialities." I commented.

"You do that often?" he asked me, voice lower the closer he got to me.

The question froze my blood. I took in a deep breath. I wasn't exactly sure why but that question triggered a certain memory into the back of my mind. It was Christmas time and I was in muggle London, in the arms of Fabian. He asked me not to shut him out, I promised I wouldn't. I hadn't known that less than two months later he'd be dead. I wondered, had I known that, if it'd have been easier for me to say I loved him? Tomorrow was the second of April, which would have marked ten months since our relationship had started and, for some reason, that made me really sad. I didn't understand why.

Something must have shown in my face because Sirius's hand was suddenly on my cheek, forcing me back into reality.

"Meredith?" he asked, brows furrowed.

He opened his mouth again, probably ready to ask what was wrong, if anything, but I didn't want to talk anymore. So I grabbed his robe and pulled him down into a kiss. He responded immediately, fervently, just like yesterday and the knot in my lower belly combined by the sound of my beating heart were enough to distract me from the knot in my throat that only meant tears. Sirius's touch had a magical effect on me; it made the distress simmer away.

He was so much better at kissing than I remembered. I hadn't realized it in our past two kisses because I'd been so caught up in the moment but now I was relaxed, I couldn't help but be slightly impressed, especially as his tongue did this thing against the roof of my mouth that made me weak at the knees. No wonder girls threw themselves at him, Merlin gracious.

And then the door opened with a creaking, metal-against-wood noise; light filtered through, flashing red against my close eyelids; someone cleared their throat. Sirius didn't pay much attention to it, face buried in my neck as he attacked my pulse point with his lips, but I did. My, did I pay attention to it. My eyes flashed open, recognizing the owner of the cleared throat.

"Mum." I gasped, pushing Sirius off of me so fast and so abruptly he almost stumbled backwards.

"Shit," he said under his breath. I couldn't agree more.

My mother stood by the door, a frown so icy in her features I was almost too scared to look at her directly. Her arms were crossed, her hair was up in a swaying ponytail and her red lips clashed against her fair skin. She looked poised, she looked deadly.

"This is exactly the point I was trying to make the other day, Meredith Adhara." She shook her head, voice eerily calm.

I flinched slightly into myself, not really knowing what blow was the one that cut me the most; her assumption that I was a whore or her use of my middle name, something that could only mean trouble. I opened my mouth to try and defend my case but words never came. Sirius breathed in deeply next to me, something I noticed by his shoulder brushing mine with the motion and not by actually witnessing the feat as I was too focused on my mother's angry gaze, before turning to face my mum.

"Professor Potter—"

"Sirius?" My mother interrupted, blinking down at him with something very similar to surprise flashing in her eyes. Her eyes went to me again. "Detention for two months, Meredith. As for you, Mr. Black, forty-five points will be taken from Gryffindor for this offense and I better not find you in a similar situation with my daughter or anyone else ever again."

I made a sound of irritation, barely holding the urge of stomping my feet. Sirius' face locked down in the typical Black manner; emotionless, unreadable, unaffected. I was pretty open about my dissatisfaction, if the warning scowl my mother sent me was anything to go by.

"You've given me less for worse, Mother." I challenged.

"There is absolutely nothing worse than your behaving like a cheap prostitute, Meredith, and say another word..." she trailed off, using that tone only mothers could manage. The one that said; I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it.

And while I'd always been terrified of that tone, of that look, and had never not obeyed it, I was too angry. And I could bend the rules. She said not to speak; she never said anything about moving. I repeated this in my mind like a mantra as I took several steps forwards and exited the broom closet, safely avoiding any sort of contact with my mother. Once I was safely out of danger, too far for my mum to send a jinx my way or something crazy like that, I let out a relieved breath I hadn't known I'd bee holding. I peeked behind me; Sirius hadn't followed me, not surprisingly.

With a disappointed sigh, I made my way to the Divination classroom once more, hoping Tobias wouldn't be too angry over my tardiness.

Sirius and I didn't talk at all after the broom closet incident. Okay, that was a lie. We talked, we teased each other, we partook in activities and jokes with our friends but we didn't talk about the kiss(es). In fact, if I didn't know any better, I'd say they'd never even took place. It was strangely disappointing. Which was why I was so excited for today. Holy Saturday. Sirius had been yet to be cleared by Madame Pomfrey to go down to Hogsmeade so he had to stay at the castle, Remus volunteered to stay with him. So did Mary, although Lily and I suspected that had more to do with Remus than being a companion to Sirius.

I thought my mother's detention would also mean no Hogsmeade for me, but detention was to take place every Friday evening. Christian and Ariadne joked about that being because Mother didn't want me to interfere with her weekly weekend trips to Dad that were becoming more and more often. They used to take place twice a month but now she went regularly, never missing a week. I didn't really care. Thanks to it, Marlene and I were going shoe-shopping.

It was a cold day, even though it was April already, the trees were beginning to spur baby leaves and the sun was starting to set at nearly eight pm. The wind was biting and the sky was filled with grey clouds. In the distance, a raging storm could be heard.

"We better hurry," I told Marlene as we made our way down the more than usual slippery slope that led to the little town. "I don't really feel like getting soaked to the bone today."

"Ditto." Marlene agreed. We started to walk faster.

At the end there was no need for us to run. The rain never came, so we took our time browsing for shoes. I wanted a new pair of patent black high heels while Marlene was desperate for some new fussy purple boots. But no matter how many we tried, we couldn't find the ones.

We ran into our friends several times, or, better, they ran into us, considering we didn't really stray too far from the two shoe shops in Hogsmeade. Peter waved happily at us as he passed the shop, arms full of different types of candy from Honeydukes. James, Lily and Dorcas stopped by once to ask us if we wanted to go for a butterbeer, which we promptly replied in the negative. We spotted Alice and Frank Longbotton twice, hand in had, tranquil smiles in their faces.

"Everyone seems to be here today." Marlene mused, fastening her high heeled sandal on her right foot.

She was right. Hogsmeade was packed. Everyone seemed to be here, students, parents, random people that didn't seem to have any liaisons with people in the castle. Probably, they thought they'd come to Hogsmeade today as to avoid the crazy crowd in Diagon Alley and London. Clearly, their plan didn't work out.

"I wish we could go to London." I huffed, abandoning some really ugly pair of block sandals and returning to my Mary-Jane's.

"Right?" Marlene said, eyeing some hideous dragon-scaled boots. "Who does a girl have to kill to get good shoes?"

She said this rather loudly, attracting the attention of the shop owner, who sent us an irritated scowl. I turned to Marlene. She was already wearing her own sandals.

"Let's go before we're thrown out." I commented, grabbing my jacket and putting it on.

We walked out into the street, half shivering as the warmth from the store dissipated and we were assaulted with the April air that felt more like winter than spring. There was a strange calm about the scenery and it felt off. One look at Marlene let me know she felt it too. The energy felt wrong. No, not wrong but not right either. More like, tense, like a cord had been tightened too much for too long and now it's just a waiting game until it snapped.

I turned to Marlene, about to ask her what was going on, when a very loud boom was heard. It was the sort of explosion that came from something you knew shouldn't be able to explode; it reverberated as debris hit the pebbled ground, everything shook, people screamed in surprise or maybe fear or maybe both.

"Death Eaters!" a random man shouted as warning as he ran into a corner.

That was enough to send the crowd of people around us into a rampage. The Dark Lord's followers followed soon enough. They wore black cloaks and terrifying masks. My heart hammered against my chest. I had never seen them in person; I'd heard of them through my parents and Fabian, I'd read a bit through the Prophet but I'd never seen them in person and they were even scarier than the rumours.

Everyone was running but I wasn't sure if they had a destination in mind, maybe just anywhere but here. There was another explosion, fire followed soon after. Rain started to fall hard from the sky. Marlene grabbed my hand and we began to run. The thing was, there was nowhere to run. They were everywhere, stopping people from escaping, doing nothing and evil at the same time. It was almost like they were enjoying our absolute fear. Marlene got pulled away from me, in the chaos.

I held my wand tightly on my side, knowing it wouldn't exactly do much good. What I had in natural talent, I lacked in practice. Yes, I knew how to duel but something told me duelling in a supervised class environment was very different from duelling in real life. For starters, I doubted there were any rules in real life. Also, I didn't think whoever had the intention of attacking a bunch of innocent, harmless people would use easy defensive and protective spells like in class.

And then I realized there were children here. Not just third and fourth years, who couldn't use magic outside of Hogwarts yet, but actual children who had come with their parents here, who lived here, and were now lost. There were harmless, lost children here and most of the adults were too busy trying to apparate away from the scene. I spotted a six-year-old boy crying in front of a shop that was now up in flames, calling for his mum. A masked figure was close by, throwing curses everywhere. I acted before I even realized what I was doing.

The spoken word was more powerful than anything. And it worked the same way with curses and spells, if you thought them out they lost some of their power. So, as I ran towards the boy, I threw a jinx the Death Eater's way, trying to tie his tongue. He'd still be able to throw curses but not speak them out loud. I saw as he halted on his step and looked around, confused. I lowered my wand and hauled the boy into my arms, casting a protego around us and praying the nearest Death Eater, that still didn't understand why he couldn't talk now, wouldn't spot me.

"Perseus!" a woman suddenly cried, appearing in front of me and taking the boy away from my arms. "Oh, thank Merlin."

Before I could say anything, the woman and the child were gone with a loud crack. I rolled my eyes, having expected at least a thank you, but I guessed you couldn't really expect much from someone cruel enough to name their child Perseus.

"What are you doing, standing there?" this came from a man that almost ran straight into me as he tried to get away from a Death Eater's curse. "Run, you idiot, run for—"

Before he could finish his sentence, a strike of green light hit him square on the back and he fell to the ground, eyes unseeingly staring up at the grey sky. As I stared down at him, his body getting soaked with rain, I realized he was dead. One second he'd been yapping orders at me and the next he was dead. I panicked.

I started to run, trying to find my friends, trying to find another adult. I didn't know what to do, so I needed a more experience adult, someone who did know what to do. Maybe an auror, even if there didn't seem to be any around yet. I just kept running, drastically changing directions each time I ended up in a dead end, nothing but fire and debris around me, or whenever the scare crowds of screaming people wouldn't let me carry on. One of the Death Eaters saw me as I very nearly ran straight into their arms. I saw their eyes through the mask; sparkling blue, strangely familiar, but I was running away once more before I could think too much about it.

A curse brushed my side, sending a white hot pain all the way up to my head, but even that didn't stop me. I didn't know if it had been directed at me or if I'd just not been able to avoid one of the seemingly aimless curses and spells that kept flying about and I wasn't about to stop and find out. I leaned against the stone wall of the Three Broomsticks, half hidden from the chaos that was Hogsmeade, and pressed my hand to my left side. It came out sticky and shiny with blood. So I'd been hit with a cutting spell, no wonder I was beginning to feel lightheaded.

I pointed my wand to my wound, keeping in mind that it could have been much worse had it hit me fully, and tried to mutter a healing spell. My hand kept shaking, though, and it wasn't working. Just as I was about to try for a third time, there was an explosion from within the Three Broomsticks and the wall that was my support suddenly disappeared. I fell to the cold, wet ground. My ears rang. All I could see was little stones flying around, the raindrops forming puddles, people running.

Everything went black.

In my half conscious, half fainted state, where I couldn't figure out where was up and where was down, if I was moving or simply experiencing some light-headedness of sort, all I could manage to see was James. James, scared but hiding it, begging Lily to take Harry and go! Go where? Harry who? What the hell was going on? I knew but I didn't at the same time and it was driving me insane. James under a grey sky, shedding silent tears at his father's funeral. The fact that many members of our family were missing from the picture weighed down on my chest until I couldn't breathe. James standing in front of Lily, vowing to love her in sickness and in health, till death did them apart, as I stood besides Lily, holding her bouquet of flowers, meeting Sirius' eyes over James' shoulder. A sense of pride and bubbly happiness surrounded me, the only feelings I could make sense of in this mess.

And then, Professor Dumbledore's voice, ever-knowing, calming, and creating words I couldn't decipher. A pool of blood against a stone floor, far away screams I couldn't put a face to. Fire. A baby's first cry. The receiving of a Hogwarts letter. A broken man's voice, familiar but unrecognizable; I did my waiting, twelve years of it, in Azkaban! A mop of carrot-red hair that was awfully familiar, and tangled brown hair, big front teeth. The images kept flashing before my eyes, too fast for me to actually make sense of them. I supposed this was what happened when you blocked visions with sleep draughts. Whatever the reason was, I wanted it to end and I wanted it to end now.

I let out a faint whimper, trying to wake up so I could change my dream. There was a pause and then a soft touch to my face. I knew that touch.

"James." I mumbled, so low I was barely even able to hear myself.

"Meredith?" James asked. I would've cried, had I been able to. "Mere, open your eyes, please."

"Don't... Don't... fight him..." I trailed off, trying to open my eyes but finding my eyelids too heavy to do so.

"What?" James asked.

He had to know. He had to know fighting him would be the end of him. James couldn't fight. He couldn't die. I opened my eyes slightly and saw his face blurrily. He was frowning, eyes straight ahead. I realized we were moving, he was carrying me somewhere. He had dried blood on his temple.

"Don't fight him." I repeated, voice not even slightly above a whisper.

"Mere, it's okay. We're almost there." James looked down at me. I closed my eyes, annoyed at how blurry everything was. "Hey, no, no, don't close your eyes. It's okay, the healers will help you, okay? Mere? Meredith?"

He was beginning to panic; I could hear it in his voice. It was okay, I was fine, I just wanted to sleep for a little while. All the running and avoiding flashes of lights had tired me.

"James..." I started, ready to convince him that I was okay.

Halfway through, though, I realized I was too tired to even speak. He repeated my name again and kept talking but everything felt fuzzy and far away, so I didn't really catch whatever he said. I could feel myself losing consciousness again, it was that weird feeling of my vision tunnelling even if I had my eyes closed, and I welcomed the dangerous darkness with open arms.