Forgot to publish this chapter on FF oops!
Sorry for the long wait between updates! I'll try to update more regulary. This chapter begins immediately after the last chapter!
Hope you'll like this it's a very long one
3 more days till we have our favourite almost divorce couple back #surreracountdown
ndy's mind went over every possible oppurtinity who that woman could be. She hated her own chaotic mind for thinking the worst. What if he had a date or hook up after their fight? He wouldn't right? She couldn't blame him for that though if he had especially not after all he horrible decisions. Andy started hyperventaling she tried to calm herself down by taking a few sips of water but couldnt help looking at his house. She started shaking and managed to grab her phone, going through her contacts she decided to call Dean. He was the only one who knew about the fight about Beckettshe had with Robert. Well Dean and Meredith but knowing she was still on call and not one of her closest friends she called Dean. Andy started fidgeting her leg while waiting for Dean to pick up. 'Hi Andy! How did it go? You went to Robert right?' Dean answered the phone curious. 'He is with another woman.' Andy stuttered 'Wait can you repeat that cause from what i heard you said that he is with another woman that can't be right.' He heard Andy taking a few deep breaths before answering his question 'I'm sitting in my car in front of his house. I was ready to fight and confess my love for him. When i finally got the courage to open up my car door i looked up to his house. I saw Robert's door open and a woman was leaving his place. She was good looking and looked like his type i think.' Dean was shocked by Andy's words. 'No way! What happend after?' Still fidgeting her leg and trying to stop tearing up she answered 'She walked to her car while Robert waved at her saying 'Thanks for dropping by! I'll call you for our next appointment. Drive safe! and he got back into his house. What kind off appointment, she looked kind of familiair but we had a date planned so can't be a appointment he made before. Also why does he need a next appointment.' Andy started freaking out. 'Andy you make it sound like he called an escort after your fight. Come on you don't really think he would. Robert is a classy guy i would be surprised if he did. Breathe Andy i'm positive that mind of yours is making everything worse.' He tried to calm her 'YES DEAN OFCOURSE IT IS! my mind is playing tricks on me. I didn't expect to see him with another woman at HIS place. What if i was already walking on his driveway when she left.' She looked back at the closed door of his house. 'Andy i need you to breathe, you're starting to freak me out. I know this all looks bad but knowing Robert and how much he loves you i bet there is a simple explanation who that woman is and why she was at his place. What are you going to do?' He still couldn't imagine Robert cheating on Andy it must be something else. 'I don't know what i should do? What if he wants to move on? What if this fight was the one that truly ended our marriage and there is no way back from this? I hurt him so badly.' Andy started crying. 'Andy did he say that?' 'No' she whispered. 'The only thing he said was that he needed time, right?' Dean tried to calm her down 'Yes' Andy answered still whipsering 'Andy the only thing you know now is that you had a fight he needed some time and you saw a mystery woman at his place. I think you should do what you intended to do when you first got there and fight for him.' Dean really didn't know what she needed at this moment. He tried his best to be the friend who was there for her no matter what. 'You really think i should?' she asked insecure 'Yes Andy you got this! If he doesn't want to talk you call me and i will pick up your fave alcohol and cereal. Whatever happends Andy you are so strong don't you forget that. Now get your ass out of the car and fight for him.' Andy smiled listening to her friend. 'Thanks Dean!'
For the second time that day she looked in her mirror cleaning up the left over mascara with some make up wipes while she managed to stop crying. Before opening the car door she took a few deep breaths. Andy started to walk slowly to his house. In the middle of the driveway of what he always called their house her mind kept reminding her of the fight earlier that day. she kept hearing Robert's voice 'I keep trying to stay considerate because you went through a lot and i love you but you keep hurting me more and more.' she would never forget the hurtfull look and tears in his eyes. 'Andy i need a minute.. i need a minute okay!' Shaking her head she felt the tears well up in her eyes again. She knows what she wants but he needs time right? He told her that. Her thoughts went from I need to fight for my man to i'm not in the right headspace to have a relation defining fight. Andy quickly turned around and ran back to her car. Like Robert needed earlier that day she also needed a breather right now to calm down. She did the only thing that would calm the chaos in her head. Starting her car she drove to her favourite bar in town and ordered a few shots of tequila.
The only thing on her mind was 'i need to stop this messy chaos in my head'. After around 5 shots she was getting a bit fuzzy. Finally feeling a bit more relaxed she ordered another shot. 'Thank god this helped' she thought to herself. Andy grabbed her phone and did the last thing she should do at that moment and started writing a text to Robert, knowing she was tipsy she realized she better wait to sent it to him untill she was sobered up a bit so she could reread it before sending something she would later regret. Andy ordered a beer to change it up after the fair amount of tequila she already had.
The draft Andy wrote:
I just want to let you know that I saw the woman leaving your place and I don't know what to think about that. What I do know is I have a plan and you wanna know my plan Robert. My plan is i love you and i will do whatever it takes to find my way back to you. I want to talk and have the fight we needed to have months ago. I know i should give you space like you asked but i love you so much it hurts. I'll never stop fighting for us! I just needed to let you know that. How much time do you think you need?
She kept looking at her phone thinking about calling him when a guy walked up to her. 'Hi i'm Mark i'm not really the guy who would use pick up lines on a lady like you. I guess that is because i'm not trying to pick you up.' Andy put her phone on flight mode before turning it off. What she didn't know was that she accidentely sent the message to Robert while turning off her phone. She looked up to the stranger confused 'So why are you standing there? you seem to be blocking my way to the bar.' She stared at him coldly. 'Aren't you wondering why i am not trying to pick you up?' Andy looked down to her glass and answered. 'Not really in the mood buddy.' he leaned a bit closer 'I'm not trying to pick you up i'm trying to pin you down later.' Andy grabbed her drink and threw it in his face. She stumbled getting up 'I shouldn't be here.' Regaining her footing she gave him one disgusted look and walked to the door exiting the bar. Realizing she couldn't drive safely after that many drinks she walked back into the bar. 'Changed your mind or are you here to apologize?' Mark asked here. 'Just here to call a taxi.' She used the phone in the bar instead of turning on her own and waited on the taxi to arrive.
*Buzz Buzz* Robert grabbed his phone and saw the message Andy sent him. He kept rereading it not knowing how to respond. Why was she at his place? Why didn't he see her? Robert tried calling her but immediately got a hold of her voicemail. 'You've reached Andy Herrera.' Why would she sent this message and not be available after? What does she mean that she saw the woman, this looks bad. He tried calling her again getting a bit frustrated 'You've reached Andy Herrera.' Robert threw his phone at his couch while he ran his hands up and down his face. Sitting down he grabbed his phone again and started typing a text to her 'Andy what the hell do you think i did. This is not what it looks like, please call me so we can talk about this.' He reread his text and realized there was no reason why he needed to explain himself. She was the one who slept with HIS boss he wouldn't do such a thing . She wouldn't think he did right? Robert started typing another message. 'I need some more time can you call me tomorrow?' he kept looking at his phone and deleted the message again. knowing how Andy her temper can get and how difficult it is to explaing things the right way through texts he decided to call her once again. 'You've reached Andy Herrera.' Robert was pacing frustrated in his living room not knowing why her phone seemed to be off. She always answered his calls. Was she mad? Jealous? what the hell was going on. He decided to leave it for what it is and try calling her the next day since it was getting late. With too much adrenaline still running through his body he decided to go boxing in his home gym to release the build up frustration.
Dean and Andy's
Andy got home trying to open the door but kept struggling with her key still feeling the effects of the drinks. finally inside she was trying so hard to walk in a straight line to avoid bumping into furniture that would wake up Dean or Pru. Unfortunately without realizing she bumped into the little closet underneath the coat hooks while letting out a silent 'Fack' hoping no one had woken up. Slowly she takes of her coat and tries to take off her shoes. Dean wakes up confused but filled with adrenaline by the loud noise coming from his living room. He grabs the golfclub out of his closet before opening his bedroom door quietly. He was holding the golfclub in the air ready to swing in case there was en intruder in his house. Dean slowly walks to his living room turning on the lights. It took some time to adjust to the bright lights. Wondering where the noise was coming from he scans the room and sees Andy trying to hang up her coat. 'Andy what the hell!' He says lowering his golfclub. 'I almost hit you! i thought you went to Robert to talk?' Andy turned around with dry tear and mascara stains on her face, messy hair from going through them with her hands like she always does when she is nervous or frustrated. 'Sorry' she said quietly. Dean walked a bit closer the smell of alcohol lingered around her. Noticing her looks whatever happend can't be good. 'Andy what's going on?' he asked giving her a hug which turned into her breaking down in his arms.
After a few minutes Andy zoned out and got out of his arms she kept replaying the fight she had with Robert and everything that happened after. Andy walks to the kitchen and grabs the Tequila bottle she had hidden from Pru on one of the high shelfs. Not feeling the need to grab a glass she starts to drink straight from the bottle. After a few big gulps she walked to couch and sat down with the bottle still in her hand. Dean looked at her worried ' Who was the woman?' He needed to know what got her to act this way. 'I don't know Dean. I don't know and it's driving me insane.' Dean grabbed a beer out of the fridge and sat down next to her. 'Do you want to talk about it or drink about it?' Andy responded by holding up the half empty bottle of tequila and took some sips looking outside of the window. 'What the hell happend?' Dean kept thinking. If Andy needed a drinking buddy he could be that tonight. but tomorrow he would try to talk with her. After way too many drinks they both headed to bed. Andy turned on her phone which was still on airplane mode and looked at the pictures of her and Robert like she always did with Pruey when she felt sad or lonely and fell asleep crying holding her phone.
Andy got woken up by the alarm of her calender. Not fully awake she grabs her phone and looked at it. Therapy session in 30 minutes. Shit she started cursing before getting out of bed way too quickly getting dizzy immediately. Not only did she feel like she had a normal hangover but also like she had an emotional one on top of that. Andy got ready as fast as she could took the quickest shower ever put her hair in a bun and took painkillers to help her feel less death. Well if this wasn't a good start of her day she didn't know what was. Grabbing her car keys and bag she ran outside noticing her car wasn't there. She thought back and realized she left her car at the bar the night before. Andy got back inside 'DEAN! Can i borrow your car, i have a therapy session and i'm so late!' She got no response and realized he probably already left with the car to bring Pru to kindergarten for the day. Already a few minutes late for her appointment she decided to order an uber. Andy got in the uber already 5 minutes late for her appointment and grabbed her phone and got it off airplane mode. She saw some missed calls and texts popping up but she decided to ignore them at the moment and tried calling her therapist to apologize for her delay and explain the circumstances and let her know she will be there in 5 minutes. Instead of getting in touch of her therapist she got a hold of her voicemail and decided to hang up the phone.
What Andy didn't realize is that before she got her phone off airplane mode her therapist tried to call. According to the rules of the therapist office the therapist has to call the second number on the call sheet of the cliënts file in case of someone missing appointment or not being able to get a hold of them. In Andy's case Robert was the second number on the call sheet so the therapist decided to call him hoping to get a hold of Andy.
Roberts phone started ringing he picked it up and heard a friendly voice 'Hi this is Samantha, i'm looking for Robert Sullivan.' she asked 'That would be me, and you are?' he asked confused 'I'm sorry i am your wifes therapist and she is late for her appointment, i tried to call her but i got her voicemail. Do you have any idea where she could be?' Robert knew Andy was scared to open up to a therapist but she truly seemed willing to go. What is going on. 'I'm so sorry i haven't talked to her since yesterday, we are seperated at the moment i don't know where she is. ' Robert started to worry this was unlike Andy. 'What can i do to help?' He asked worried 'If you hear from her could you give me a call?' she answered kind 'Ofcourse i'm sorry i can't help you any more, i'll try to find her.' he grabbed his coat and walked to his car in the meanwhile. 'Thank you, have a nice day mister Sullivan!' The therapist ended the call. Robert got into his car and immediately called Dean. 'Hi Robert what's going on?' Dean answered his phone confused why Robert was calling him they were friendly but not really friends. 'Dean where the hell is Andy?' Robert asked sounding worried 'What do you mean man?' Dean asked confused ' Her therapist just called me that she wasn't at her appointment and she can't reach her. Have you seen her? Is she at home?' He started his car driving to Deans houseboat. 'I saw her last night when she got home pretty drunk, she looked rough and wasn't in the best headspace i wouldn't be surprised if she is sleeping off that hangover she surely will have. Relax Robert she will be fine. I'll be home in 10 minutes, i'll let you know.' Dean tried to calm Robert down. How did he end up being the one inbetween this messy married couple. 'I'll meet you there!' Robert hang up the phone and continued driving to Dean's houseboat hoping Andy was there.
Out of breath Andy finally arrives at her therapist appointment apologizing over and over. 'I'm so sorry my life is so messy, i tried to contact you but i got your voicemail. I came as quick as i could. This isn't the best introduction is it?' Samantha smiled at her 'You must be Andrea?' Andy nodded. 'Yes, well most people call me Andy!' the therapist smiled. 'Well welcome Andy i'm Samantha i'm glad you could make it. take a seat' She pointed to the comfy looking chair across from her. 'Have you ever been to therapy before?' Andy sat down 'No well only mandatory therapy when we have a big loss or call at work. I'm a firefighter.' She tried to hide her nerves but kept playing with her hands. 'What made you want to become a firefighter?' she smiled friendly. 'My dad was a firefighter so was my mom before she left us. I practicly grew up in a fire station i always felt at home and safe there. Now after my fathers death it gives me some weird comfort doing the same things as he used to.' This question broke the ice between them. 'Can you tell me a bit about yourself? why did you decide it might be time for therapy?' Andy told her the whole story. From the seperations, the miscarriage she went through alone, the loss of her dad and best friend, her mom coming back from the death, the loss of her station 19 family, possible divorce, relationship therapy, her cheating with Beckett and she ended with talking about the fight she had in the hospital with Robert yesterday 'So we only have a few things to work through.' Samantha started laughing 'I guess it's a lot and it hit me like crazy since my miscarriage. I've been feeling so numb and sort off out of this world. Like i'm alive but that everything that is happening doesn't truly happends. Not sure if that makes sense.' Andy looked out of the window. 'You have been through a lot and due to your career you are probably used to pushing it down until you can't anymore. It is a good thing you came to me. We can't work through everything in one session but i would like to start with the one that is taking up the most space in your head. Where would you like to start?' She was making a few notes during the whole conversation. 'I guess the one i struggle with the most right now is the situation between me and my husband. It's been a mess since i tore up our divorce papers a few days ago. I want to fix our relationship but every step i take feels like i end up taking steps back.' Andy started to get emotional.
Andy you've been through a lot of emotions in just a few days. For your mental health sake you could start trying to do a few steps my way. Both you and your husband have been living through such high emotions lately with no time to recover, relax and enjoy each others company. Because of that and the stress it brings both of you everything either small or big can ignite another fight.' Andy looked up surprised she never has been a fan of mandatory therapy but this was very different. She continued listening. 'See it as a loaded gun you're holding. One wrong move and it can end in misery. It's time to put the fictional gun down and spend some to heal together. Both during and outside relationship therapy. Together and alone. It is natural to try and speed up the process of healing and figure everything out all at once. That is what you've been doing the last couple of days. There is no need to figure it all out fast. Give yourself time to adjust to changes. You've been seperated for over 10 months and have been going through all those emotions in a few days since you had the first conversation. I get the need to fix everything all at once and move forward but for most people it doesn't work that way. When you move forward too fast those things usually come back after a while.' Andy nodded, realizing that happend a lot of times in her life but she kept pushing her feelings down. 'To get back to the healthy relationship you had and maybe even improve that you need to take your time. This doesn't mean all i want you to do is fight and have difficult relationship defining conversations. Not at all. You should have those conversations ofcourse but also it might be good to get back to the dating fase. Try to find that spark that made you fall deeply in love with each other again and keep it alive.' Andy started smirking 'you just sound like my husband. He planned a date for us after we made an appointment with the relationship therapist. Robert told us we needed to have more fun again and enjoy each others company. I guess he was right, he always is.' She felt herself tearing up, she loved that man so deeply. She hasn't just pushed down all the bad feelings but also her love for him. 'Sadly yesterday took a horrible turn and we never got to go on our date.' She looked through the window. 'You're husband sounds like a sensitive but smart man.' Andy stated proudly 'He really is!' The therapist noted a few things 'That is my first part of your homework. Go look for the spark you once had and lost. Listen to your husband and ask him to go on a date with you.' Andy started playing with her hands 'He was so angry yesterday and i saw that woman at his place. What if he wants to move on?' She kept looking at her hands while she was talking 'Andy from what i hear he is hurt. Don't you think that if he wanted to move on from you he would've done it in the 10 months you've been seperated?' Andy nodded 'You might be right but i'm scared to find out.' Samantha waited a few seconds before answering 'Have the talk and see how it goes from there. If he is willing to still go to therapy with you ask him out on a date.' she spoke calmly 'A date. Just the two of us. We never did that before we got married.' Andy started blushing 'This might be the time to start. So that will be the first homework i give you.'
'What calms you and gets you out of your mind?' Andy was deep in thought realizing that everything her therapist told her made sense. Even during her first appointment this surprised her. 'Andy?' Her therapist asked with a friendly voice. 'I'm sorry! Being at home with my husband usually calmed me down and got me to stop thinking. But i don't think that is what you meant.' She let out a shy laugh and saw the therapist nodding at her to continue. 'Nature tends to calm me also i used to go rock climbing to get out of my head as a form of self care. I haven't done that in a while but it might be a good thing to start with again. Also hanging out with my friends helps me to get distracted from my own problems.' Andy looked up. 'Not sure if that is a healthy idea of coping .' She started laughing. 'Do you have friends that know about your situation?' Andy nodded 'I only told 2 of my friends the one i work with and the one i live with. They deserved to know.' 'Andy you don't have to share because you feel like people deserve to know. The most important thing is you right now. If you want to tell people do that, if you prefer dealing with it alone do that. Both of these are fine when dealing with trauma. Also Andy i know we only met today but you need to take care of yourself both your physical and mental wellbeing. I wan't to give you some homework before our next meeting. Take some time to let out your own emotions, go to a place that calms your mind.' Andy started blushing 'I'm sorry normally i look a lot better it's been a though day and i had to hurry.' She felt ashamed she felt shitty and probalby looked even worse. 'There is no need to apologize Andy. I would like to see you again in a week if that is okay with you?' Andy nodded. 'Also if during this week you feel like you need someone to talk to you have my number you can call me anytime.' Andy smiled at her. 'Thank you Samantha.'
Dean and Andy's place
Dean got home and already sees Robert in front of his door knocking on the door and calling Andy. He opened the door and Robert quickly walked to Andy's bedroom without finding her there he walked back to the living room. 'ANDY?' He called looking in every room. She was nowhere to be found. Dean tried calling Andy but got her voicemail because she was in therapy. Robert and Dean started making a plan to find out where she could be. This was unlike Andy. Robert decided to text Theo if she was on shift and if he heard anything from her while Dean texted Michelle. 'Where the hell did she go?' Robert exclaimed worried.
The other side of town
Andy decides to take an uber to the bar where she was at last night to pick up her car and get some breakfast to go from her favourite bakery. After getting her breakfast she decided to immediately do the homework her therapist just gave her. Andy drove to the park she used to go to as a child and sat down underneath a tree thinking about life, her childhood, the shit she has been going through lately and started to spiral. Andy grabbed her phone seeing a missed call from both Robert and Dean but decides to ignore them if it's really important they would call again right? Instead she scrolled through her contact list and called Vic. She needed some company and to be honest a distraction from her messy life. Vic immediately agrees and knowing Andy her favourite coffee order she gets coffee and meets Andy. 'looks like you had a fun night Herrera.' They both started laughing and Vic gave Andy a hug knowing she wasn't the soft and cuddly person Andy looked like she needed one. 'I missed you.' Andy smiled at Vic who was sitting down next to her. 'Thank you for coming.' Vic nodded 'You're lucky i'm already awake you know i like my sleep on days of!' Vic smiled 'Herrera it looks like you're carrying the world on your shoulders. Knowing how hard it is to talk about your own personal struggles i'll give you two options for now. Do you need a distraction or do you want to talk about it?' Andy smiled without telling Vic she knew exactly what she needed. They used to be close when she worked at 19 but since she has been transferred to 23 they saw each other a lot less. It felt good knowing that time made no difference and Vic still was one of her best friends. 'I'll go for the distraction right now, give me the gossip!' Vic shared all the juicy station 19 gossip and they sat there talking for over an hour before Andy decided to go home to take a nap since she hasn't had a lot of sleep last night.
Dean and Robert were still worried about Andy, Robert just sent a text message to the whole team asking if someone knows where she could be. Andy walked in confused. 'Robert why are you here? What's going on why do you look stressed?' She continued walking into the houseboat 'Where the hell have you been! We've been worried sick!' Andy looked confused from Dean to Robert 'I'm sorry what? I had therapy Robert you know that, i told you that yesterday and i met up with Vic after it to get breakfast.' Dean looked worried 'Your therapist?' Robert asked 'Yes why? What the hell is going on?' She had no idea what they've been through that morning. 'Andy your therapist called me that you weren't there and she couldn't reach you so she called me.' She looked shocked 'Wait she called you? I was a few minutes late i left my car at the bar yesterday so i had to take an uber to get there. I tried to call her but i got her voicemail, she didn't tell me she called you?' Dean walked over giving Andy a hug 'Don't scare me like that you know i need you as babysitter and i kinda like you as my roommate.' He relaxed a bit and got a punch of Andy in response. 'Robert i'm fine , i didn't know or else i'd called.' She walked over to him and looked him in his eyes. 'I'm okay really, just in desperate need of a nap i'm wrecked.' Robert ran his hand over his face. 'What about the text you sent me yesterday, What the hell was that?' He sounded pissed 'What texts robert? i haven't sent any?' Robert walked over to the couch frustrated 'How much did you have to drink? You sent me a text about the woman you saw at my place.' Finally understanding which text he meant 'Oh gosh i didn't mean to sent that i didn't think i did. Since you're here we should talk a bit more private.' She walked over to the door towards the deck and Robert followed her. 'So Robert tell me who was she?' Andy stood in front of him with her arms crossed. 'Andy don't tell me you think that i cheated on you?' Robert responded in a serious voice 'To be honest i know you wouldn't because you like rules and are too loyal for your own good sometimes. But it crossed my mind and i wouldn't blame you if you had after all i put you through.' Robert started laughing a bit and grabbed her hand 'I'm a bit offended that your mind would go there.' He kept laughing, Andy just looked at him confused 'Babe she is the new cleaning lady i hired to help with the house chores, i showed you her resume before.' Robert smirked at her 'Yup now i feel stupid. I guess my curiosity got the best of me.' She started blushing. 'Did she needed to be hot? You couldn't just hire an old lady to help?' Pinning him down with an innocent stare. 'Are we jealous now Andrea?' Robert looked at her surprised and entertained while he took her into a hug and gave her a kiss on her forehead. 'You scared me today, don't do that again.' She snuggled into his chest and wrapped her arms around his waist tightly letting out a deep breath. 'How was therapy?' Thinking back of the conversation she had with her therapist she realized that this place in his arms would always be the only place she could let go of all her chaotic thoughts and calm her down in seconds. 'Andy?' Robert whispered 'Sorry it was good, i think i hit the jackpot, she gave me and well us some homework.' she stayed wrapped in his arms 'Us?' Robert questioned 'Yes us, we have been going through an emotional rollercoaster the last few days she told me we needed to take our time to heal and adjust to changes and find our spark again. We should have the difficult talks but she also helped me understand that that we also need to enjoy each others company. I guess we have been living from fight to fight the last days. You were right again we need to relax a bit. there is no need to rush as long as we keep moving forward' he caresssed her lower back 'Therapy has changed you.' He teased. after a few minutes she moved her head up a bit to catch his gaze. 'Robert Sullivan i think i owe you a real date, what do you say?' He cupped her cheek with one of his hands while the other was still on her lower back when he took her into a sweet lingering kiss. 'A date with my wife how can i say no to that.' Andy took him into a passionate kiss that heated up quickly. 'I think we already found that spark again.' She grinned at him before laying her head down on his chest again.