Hello to the (probably) three dedicated readers I have left, and happy new year! Real life has been a pain in the ass, but all I can say is that this chapter was the hardest to write - how do you write a first public appearance, after the way these two got together in the last chapter, and keep it true to character? I hope I did justice to it (I had three versions written and finally this one won, only because it was the only one I could make myself finish so soon). I hope you like it! Updates will be sporadic but please know this story isn't abandoned, it has a very special place in my heart. Enjoy, and LLAP!

P.S. to the one review I got which I can't reply to, thank you for your kind words and yes, I agree - it's always better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all :)

Forty Three

"Busy?" asked Homer conversationally. Victoria looked up to see him standing in front of her desk, three PADDs in his hands.

Victoria raised her eyebrows as she answered. "Yes. Can I help you?"

"Oh, no, I'm good," said Homer, but his tone said the opposite. "So… read anything interesting lately?"

Victoria sighed and pushed her screen away from her, leaning back in her chair to fix Homer with a look. "You have three minutes, and then I have somewhere to be," she said, holding out her hand expectantly.

Without invitation, Homer slid into the chair opposite her desk and handed her one of the PADDs. Victoria took it, scanned its contents, and rolled her eyes. Inputting a few numbers, she made sure the calculations that he had done were now corrected, and handed it back. Homer raised his eyebrows at her changes, but nodded. Without another word, he got up and left.

"You're welcome," muttered Victoria to herself. As if on cue, her watch beeped, signalling that Homer's three minutes were up. Hurriedly standing up, she picked up her own PADD and threw her lab coat on, pausing long enough to wave at Spock, who was standing outside his office, and rushed out the door. Fortunately, the hallway was empty, and her comm rang as soon as she entered the turbolift. She rolled her eyes as she answered it, already knowing who was calling. "This is Woodville."

"Are you on your way?" the voice was unmistakable.

"I told you I wouldn't be late," said Victoria, only a little annoyed. "Have some faith."

She heard a quiet chuckle, and the line went dead. As she shoved the comm back into her pocket, the turbolift halted at her destination, and she strode out quickly. The mess hall was packed as she entered it, which was surprising; there were even a few people in dress uniform. Fortunately, her companion for the evening was standing at the bar, a glass of wine meant for her already next to him, and he waved her over as soon as she entered the doorway.

"Finally," sighed Sulu. "I was so sure you'd be late."

"I'm way more punctual than you give me credit for," said Victoria. Accepting the glass of wine, she took a sip and raised her eyebrows at the taste. "That's very fancy. What's the occasion?"

"You'll see," grinned Sulu. "I'm just glad you made it, what with your high-profile vaccine project and all."

"I have a meeting about that in the morning, so your surprise better not give me a hangover," said Victoria, taking another sip of wine. "I don't think Dr. McCoy will appreciate me running out of the lab to throw up every few minutes."

Sulu laughed. "I promise this won't take more than an hour, and I promise you'll like it."

"I agreed to come to spend time with you, Hikaru, because we haven't seen each other in a few weeks. But I didn't know it was going to be here," said Victoria. Worriedly, she glanced around the room. "It's really crowded today. Do you think –"

"Don't worry, it's completely safe for you to be here," promised Sulu. "We just need to watch the first fifteen minutes anyway."

Victoria frowned. "What exactly are we watching?"

"You didn't know?" asked a dry voice from behind them. Victoria felt the skin at the back of her neck erupt into goosebumps at the familiar accent, and resisted the urge to immediately turn around. Instead, she calmly placed her glass back on the counter and tilted her head to the side slightly as Leonard McCoy came to stand next to Sulu. His eyes lingered on her face for only a fraction of a second longer than usual, before he turned to Sulu and shook his hand, returning the pilot's greeting. Victoria picked up her glass again and took a sip, hiding her smile behind the rim. As Sulu turned his back to her to speak to Leonard, she caught his eye over her brother-in-law's shoulder, and winked.

"Don't scare her off, doc," said Sulu, and Leonard's eyes snapped back to the pilot as soon as he was addressed. "I could barely get her out of the lab today."

"You're lucky I came at all, considering you still haven't told me why I'm here," said Victoria, throwing him a suspicious look. Trying to act normal, she turned to Leonard, and smiled. "Hello, Dr. McCoy."

Leonard nodded. "Nice to see you," he said, and Victoria was instantly jealous of how even and careless his voice sounded. She felt like her own had been too breathy, and her hands were definitely trembling slightly as she put her glass down on the counter. Leonard turned to get the bartender's attention, and Victoria shoved her hands into the pockets of her lab-coat to avoid drawing attention to them. She was sure Hikaru was staring at her now, probably in suspicion and confusion; if it had been Jim standing with her, he'd have cracked no less than four jokes about her obvious nervous state as soon as Leonard had come to stand next to her. But, fortunately for her, this was Hikaru. When she finally snuck a glance at his face, he was looking in the complete opposite direction, ignoring them both.

Grateful for his distraction, Victoria cleared her throat, and the pilot immediately whipped around. She raised an eyebrow questioningly, and Sulu sighed. "Okay, fine," he said resignedly. "It's the commencement ceremony for Starfleet Academy's graduation today. It's tradition to screen it in the mess hall, and everyone shows up. It's one of the few live coverage events we get from Earth."

Victoria stared at him blankly, and she was silent for so long that Leonard chuckled from next to her. "I'm sorry," she said slowly. "You dragged me away from work and a free evening… to watch this?"

"It won't be so bad!" insisted Hikaru.

"Don't lie to the lady, Sulu," snorted Leonard. "It's a damned inconvenience at best. The only reason anyone shows up is 'cause it's an excuse to drink in the middle of your shift."

"I'd rather drink wine from a replicator in my own quarters than listen to admirals ramble on about the Prime Directive and god knows what else they talk about in that stupid address," said Victoria indignantly. "I can't believe you tricked me into this!"

"I gotta admit, I didn't think I'd see either of you here," admitted Leonard. As he sipped his own drink, he gave Sulu's glass a suspicious look. "You drinkin' that darn alien rum again?"

"Just good old-fashioned Russian vodka, at Chekov's insistence," chuckled Sulu. "Anyway, Tori, you promised you'd be here, so I'm going to grab some seats up front. You sitting with us, doc?"

"Nah, I'm only here because Spock told me to make an appearance," said Leonard, shaking his head. "Gonna try and slip out before he notices."

"Great. Keep an eye on her," Sulu pointed at Victoria, ignoring the venomous look she threw his way. "Don't let her run away before it starts."

Leonard gave the pilot a two-fingered salute, and Sulu walked away, still laughing. Victoria waited until he was out of earshot before turning to Leonard, tapping her nails against the hard top of the bar absently. Leonard put his glass down and raised his eyes to stare back, and for a second Victoria forgot what she had been about to say. The warm hazel colour was comforting, a familiar sight after waking up to his smile every morning for the past week. She hadn't seen him outside of his quarters for a few days now, she realised, and it made acting like nothing was different between them in public a little difficult. Leonard noticed her distraction and smirked, drawing her back to reality.

She cleared her throat. "You know, Spock's not here."

"I know," said Leonard, his lips still turned upwards. "I lied. He didn't tell me to come."

"Oh," Victoria blinked. "But I didn't know you were coming either."

"I figured."

"But…" she trailed off, and then lowered her voice. "Didn't you and I have plans? Tonight? Alone?"

"I remember, darlin'," said Leonard. He picked up his glass again, his fingers brushing against hers in the process. "Saw your name on the rota, couldn't resist. I'll leave if you want."

"I didn't say that," said Victoria immediately. Leonard's smile widened, and she felt her cheeks turn pink. "I mean – wait, did you say you saw my name on the rota?" she asked suddenly. "You were looking for me?" Now it was Leonard's turn to avoid her eye, which made her giggle. "You know, you could have just called me. Your office is more private than the mess hall."

"You told me we needed to keep this quiet," he muttered. "Didn't think you wanted your comm ringin' with me on the other line if you were in a meeting."

"You could have sent a memo," pointed out Victoria. "I have no problem with reading your name. Or answering your calls, by the way. We're working together; it's the perfect excuse."

"Well, it's my first secret relationship," he said, throwing her a tired smile. "I'll do better next time."

Victoria giggled and took another sip of wine. Next to her, Leonard leaned back against the bar and swirled the ice around in his glass, a comfortable silence descending between them. Victoria watched him out of the corner of her eye and suddenly found herself transported back to Ben and Sulu's wedding. She remembered first time she'd met Leonard, when they'd both sat next to each other almost the whole night; there had been the same kind of peaceful quiet between them. And she had snuck glances at him then too, if only to commemorate details to memory as fodder for her daydreams. The fact that he was good-looking was only part of the attraction; his face was wonderfully expressive, and she found herself learning much more about him by watching him than she did by talking to him. And when she had first met him, she had never entertained any thought of talking to him for longer than she had, let alone falling into bed with him, as she remembered Jim had suggested. But now…

She was jolted out of her daydream when she felt Leonard's fingers brush against her hand again. He was returning his empty glass to the bartender, and pushing another one towards her. She realised she had been nursing an empty glass of wine for the last few minutes, too distracted to realise her drink was finished. Trying not to blush again, she accepted it and raised her eyebrows. "Are you trying to get me drunk?"

His eyes twinkled. "Trust me, you need a second glass if you want to get through this damn ceremony," he said. "Don't know how you got yourself into this. It's borin' as hell."

"Ah," Victoria smiled. "So this is for altruistic reasons."

"'Course it is," he said. As he leaned in closer to her, Victoria automatically turned her head away before his forehead could touch hers; it made no difference, however, because Leonard's breath still tickled her ear as he whispered, "We both know you're comin' back to my place tonight, with or without the wine."

Unable and completely unwilling to argue, Victoria swallowed thickly. They locked eyes, and suddenly she didn't care that they were in a crowded room where it was entirely possible that people were already staring at them, probably wondering what the clearly intense conversation they were having was about. His eyes were raking across her face hungrily, looking at her in the way he only allowed himself to when they were alone, usually in his bedroom, and neither of them had to worry about behaving a certain way so no one realised what was going on between them. Her fingers were tingling, reminding her that the last time she had kissed him, or even just touched his skin, was almost twenty-four hours ago; he'd been gone early that morning, before she had woken up. And the more she remembered that last time, the more there was a part of her that suddenly started to wonder if it would be so bad if she just reached out and touched him. Irrationally, all she wanted to do was close the distance between them, and his body language screamed that he was thinking the same thing. Even as she chewed on her lower lip anxiously, his eyes darted to her mouth and lingered there, and she found her mind wandering. Maybe no one would notice…

Fortunately, fate intervened before Victoria could act on her impulse. As soon as the thought flickered into her head, the lights in the mess hall dimmed and then returned to normal, suggesting that the screening was about to begin. It jolted her back to reality. She realised just how close he was standing, and how long they'd been staring at each other without speaking. Blinking rapidly, she forced herself to physically take a step back. Finally able to inhale air that didn't smell like him, his skin and his cologne, she took a deep breath. Opposite her, Leonard did the same, but he didn't look anxious. He looked smug.

Her anxiety melted away, replaced with annoyance. "Really?" she hissed. "Flirting in plain sight?"

He winked, picking up his glass as if he hadn't just been undressing her with his eyes five seconds ago. "It ain't flirting, darlin', it's a promise."

"Be that as it may…" she took another deep breath to steady herself and put her unfinished glass down. "I think I'm done for the night. At least, in public."

"Didn't know you were a lightweight," said Leonard, grinning and sipping his own drink. Victoria glared at him, and he held his hands up in defeat. "Alright, darlin', I'll stop. Didn't mean to get you so distracted."

"That's exactly what you meant to do, don't deny it," she sighed. "And it worked. Congratulations."

"Thanks," he said. Downing the contents of his glass, he placed it next to her own. "Anyway, I think those lights were my cue to head off."

"Are you sure?" asked Victoria. She eyed the glass he'd just put down. "Are you working now?"

"Just paperwork," he assured her. "I won't even administer the hypo I'll leave out for your hangover myself, I promise."

Victoria smiled, a little sheepishly. "That isn't what I meant. You can stay, you know. Make up an excuse about work, walk me out early?"

Leonard shook his head, but his smile reassured her that he hadn't taken her question the wrong way. "Nah, I'm headin' back to Sickbay. Spend time with Sulu, try to have some fun. I'll be done by the time you're free."

"What if you're asleep?"

"Feel free to wake me up," he winked, and Victoria blushed again. He grinned. "See you later, darlin'."

"Bye," said Victoria softly. Leonard gave her one last smile and left, and Victoria allowed her eyes to linger on his form as she watched him walk away. He didn't turn around and catch her, even though she suspected he wanted to; but Leonard was better than her at keeping secrets, most of the time anyway, and she was grateful for it.

Victoria turned back to her half-empty glass and was debating finishing it when she noticed Sulu waving her over, just as an odd hush descended upon the assembled officers. Determined to extract herself from the situation as soon as possible, Victoria joined him near the front, smiling in thanks as he pulled out a chair for her. With an odd level of excitement, he held a finger to his lips, indicating for her to be quiet as the ceremony on the screen in front of them started.

More than a little lost, Victoria folded her arms across her chest and watched the camera hone in on the incoming graduates as they took their seats. Next to her, Hikaru jiggled his leg impatiently. She swatted his arm to make him stop, suddenly wishing she had finished her glass of wine after all. More than that, though, she wished she didn't have to be here; she would much rather be in Leonard's quarters, probably successfully distracting him from another night of working himself to sleep on his sofa instead of in his own bed, next to her.

Despite her genuine efforts at paying attention to what was going on in front of her, Victoria's mind began to wander. Mentally, she ran through a list of things she had to do on her next shift; but before any of those things, she needed to get some sleep, and force Leonard to as well. She wasn't too worried about convincing him, though. After waking up in Leonard's arms the fifth morning in a row, she had decided to stop worrying quite so much. She was happy, and so was he. She could enjoy the feeling for a little while longer, at least.

Next to her, Hikaru suddenly poked her in the ribs, and her eyes focused back onto the screen in front of her. She frowned and threw him an annoyed look, but he was grinning at the screen now, ignoring her. She followed his gaze to see what was so interesting, but it was only the commodore continuing her excruciatingly long speech that Victoria had already heard three times.

And then the camera panned over the audience, and Victoria froze as she caught a glimpse of a man who looked too much like her father for it to be a coincidence.

Blinking rapidly, she leaned back in her chair and folded her arms across her chest again. Clearly, she needed to get her contacts checked. Her father had never attended a commencement ceremony, except hers. Even then, he had left as soon as her name had been called, preferring to congratulate her by email. As she scanned the array of unfamiliar faces on the screen in front of her, she began to feel as though her eyes were playing tricks on her; she was sure a man seated on the far right looked exactly like Ben, but that was too much of a stretch. Her step-brother didn't work for Starfleet, and barely took an interest in it.

But then it happened again. She felt Hikaru tense up next to her, and the camera paused on the same section of the audience. Except this time, Ben looked up, directly into the camera, and grinned. And next to him, Victoria realised with a jolt, was Demora. Even sitting down, she was taller. She also had two missing front teeth that were on full display as she beamed at the camera, and there was a small placard in her hands, which she held up at her father's indication. The text scrawled on it in bright pink marker made Victoria's breath catch in her throat. We love you, Tori.

"Aw, how cute!" whispered an ensign sitting in front of them. Victoria's eyes shot to her, and saw that she was pointing at the screen, which was still paused on a grinning Demora. "She must be holding that up for a graduate."

The woman next to her laughed and said something, but Victoria didn't hear them. The camera returned to capturing the commodore, who finished her speech and stepped away from the podium. The rector walked up after her, beginning to read names off a projector screen out of the camera sight. Graduates began to walk up across the stage, polite applause following every name. It was a familiar sight, and a few people got up and began to mill around again, most of them heading back to the bar. But Victoria couldn't bring herself to look away. There was a small, desperate part of her, a part that she had been silencing for months now, that was eager to catch another glimpse of her family. Just one more glimpse.

"I hope you don't mind," whispered Hikaru, and his voice made Victoria finally tear her eyes away from the screen. "Ben was in town, and I know you're not allowed to contact anyone back home. I figured you wanted to see her. We told her you'd see the recording later."

"You did this?" asked Victoria hoarsely. Hikaru nodded, still grinning, and she forced herself to smile, even as her eyes began to sting with tears. "That's – thank you, so much. I – I did want to see her."

"You're welcome," his smile faded slightly. "You okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine," Victoria lied. She could feel her lower lip trembling. "I just – I have a lot of work to do, and it's just…" she trailed off, her voice breaking as she gestured to the screen helplessly. Hikaru looked sympathetic, and she winced inwardly at the pity in his eyes. "I really… thank you, honestly. I should go, though," she smiled wanly. "Bad idea to suddenly burst into tears in public, y'know?"

"Of course," said Hikaru immediately. "We can go somewhere and talk, if you want? Or I could call someone? Kirk's around here somewhere, he could –"

"No!" said Victoria immediately. Not Jim. Jim couldn't see her like this; he'd never seen her like this. "I'm just going back to my room, honestly. I'm tired. I'd rather be alone. I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

Hikaru nodded slowly, not looking convinced, but Victoria squeezed his hand and stood up, turning her face away. Fortunately, the room was still dark, and she had been sitting on an aisle seat, so she managed to slip out of the door undetected. The hallway was empty, but she didn't linger. Practically running to the turbolift, she stepped inside and choked out the first deck number she could think of, praying her destination would be empty. She couldn't break down in public; hell, she couldn't even break down in front of Hikaru. His intentions had been good, but seeing Demora and being reminded of everything she'd left behind was the last thing Victoria had needed. A week of sleeping in Leonard's arms was the only thing keeping her nightmares away; every time she closed her eyes, she felt the overwhelming claustrophobia that only came after experiencing the devastating pain of an M-class planet's topology crushing every bone in your body. She was dreading the day Leonard woke up to her desperate gasps for air, or worse, her screaming. He was already doing too much to help her. She couldn't add this to his plate; she wouldn't.

Leonard. He would know what to say at a moment like this, Victoria recognised that. He always knew how to calm her down. And being away from family was something he understood, especially the fact that it was out of her control. Hadn't she been the one to point out how much they had in common, to get him to talk to her? But she couldn't break down in front of him. Not again. It was too soon to show him how affected she was by this; things were new, and fresh, and good. She was happy, and this would tarnish it. Any reminder of how abnormal her situation, their situation was, would ruin everything.

And yet, as she stumbled out of the turbolift and heaved a ragged sigh of relief at the sight of the empty observation deck, her hand automatically went to her pocket, where her comm was. She sank down onto the floor, leaning against a pillar, and took it out. Her vision was blurry with tears, but she ignored them; there was no point trying to stop them anyway. But the inexplicable urge to suddenly call Leonard was overwhelming. She had never wanted to be around anyone when she was upset. Why did she suddenly want to be around him?

A fresh bout of tears suddenly overtook her, more from frustration than sadness, and she threw the comm away viciously. It clattered against the floor a few feet away, too far for her to reach it. Good. Letting the misery overpower her, she hugged her knees to her chest and rested her forehead against them, continuing to sob quietly. Even with her eyes closed, she still saw the plain white placard with the bright pink marker's words on it – it was Demora's favourite colour. Victoria had painted the nursery pink when Demora had first come home with Ben and Hikaru, and the little girl had insisted that every room she had had after that first one be painted the exact same shade. Victoria had done it for her every time.

She didn't know how long she had sat there, crying until she ran out of tears, but eventually she thought she must have fallen asleep, because when she finally opened her eyes her head felt heavy, and she could feel the cold tear-tracks on her cheeks. Rubbing her eyes, she straightened her neck and winced. Just as she was attempting to smooth the hair around her face that had come out of her bun, her comm rang. Jumping at the sudden noise, she glared at the offending gadget and decided to ignore it. It was probably Hikaru, and she could call him back tomorrow, when she was more in control of herself. Fortunately, there was no one else on the observation deck to hear it, and it stopped ringing after less than a minute.

Victoria was just debating with herself whether she should go to her own quarters and freshen up when the doors to the observation deck hissed open. Footsteps echoed through the room, slow and steady, and Victoria froze. It felt like whoever had come in was coming straight towards her, but that was ridiculous. The ceremony couldn't have ended already, unless she had slept for longer than she initially thought. And there was no way Hikaru could have found her.

She didn't move from her position on the floor, hoping it was just a lost ensign who would look around and leave; she was hidden enough behind a pillar that whoever it was wouldn't see her immediately. Unless, of course, they had come looking for her, which she realised was the case when the footsteps rounded a corner, and she looked up to find Leonard standing there, snapping his comm shut and shoving it into his pocket as he caught sight of her.

Victoria didn't say anything; for a few seconds, neither did he. She saw his eyes rake across her face, a dead giveaway that she'd been crying; they moved across the room, to rest on the comm she'd thrown away, and Victoria realised he'd probably been the one calling her a few minutes ago. When he looked at her again, she bit her lip. His face was neutral, impossible to read; she hated it.

"Hey," he said finally. "Want some company?"

Victoria let out a shaky breath. "Sure," she said, trying to smile. It came out like a grimace. She turned her face away, wiping her eyes hurriedly as Leonard sat down on the floor next to her without another word. He made no effort to move or speak, giving Victoria enough time to compose herself before she straightened up again. Her eyes were still swollen, and her nose was probably red, but if Leonard noticed, he didn't say anything. When she turned to face him, he merely slipped an arm behind her back, and she rested her head against his chest with a quiet sigh of defeat.

"I swear, I'm not always like this," she mumbled, still wiping her cheeks aggressively. "I can usually go a few months without needing a shoulder to cry on."

"You know I don't care about that, darlin'," said Leonard. He pulled her hands away from her face, caressing her cheek with his thumb. "But you could've called me," he said softly, and Victoria knew that was the closest he'd come to chastising her. "You think I wouldn't have come?"

"You're sweet," she sighed. "But I'm sad a lot more than you know. I can't make this a habit. You can't either. We'd be here all day."

"So?" he shrugged. "We'll stay here all day if you want." The simplicity with which he said it took her breath away. "Hell, I'm not the only one who would do that for you," he continued, oblivious to the fact that his words were making her want to cry again. "Jim'd stay here all night if you asked him to. And you know Sulu would too."

Victoria bit her lip. "So did Hikaru send you after me?"

"Not exactly," Leonard said, and the tone of his voice suggested that he didn't want to say anymore. But Victoria gave him a questioning look, chewing her lip anxiously, and he reluctantly added, "He was lookin' for you, and he came to Sickbay. He thought you'd be with me. I told him if I saw you I'd tell you to call him."

"And you came here after me instead," said Victoria. Leonard nodded. She debated asking why exactly Hikaru had gone to Sickbay first, instead of her quarters, but decided that was something she didn't want to know quite yet. Instead, she asked, "And how did you know I'd be here?"

Leonard's lips twitched upwards into a smile. "I'm the CMO of the ship, darlin'. I don't need to hack Jim's access codes to locate somebody."

Victoria bit her lip. "I – I didn't realise anyone else knew about that."

"I'm not judgin'," Leonard shrugged. "You wanted to know how I found you, I told you. I did try callin' you first, though." He jerked his head to the side, where her comm was still lying on the floor. "What'd that poor gadget ever do to you?"

"I didn't want to talk to anyone," said Victoria. She rested her head against his shoulder and gave him a weak smile. "I did want to call you, though. It was kind of embarrassing."

"But you didn't do it," said Leonard, smiling sadly. "You know, when we agreed to give this a try, I didn't mean I was in it just for the sex. You sat with me a whole night when I found out I couldn't see my kid anymore, and that was before we were sleepin' together. You think I'd be annoyed if you were upset now, after everythin' that's happened?"

"That's not the same thing, Leonard," sighed Victoria. "You must think I'm pathetic, running away to cry by myself after seeing Demora on a screen when you haven't seen Joanna in weeks."

"I'd never think that about you," he said quietly. "And you didn't answer my question. What'd you think I'd have done if you'd called me?"

"You'd have come here and made me feel better, of course. But this is new, Leonard," said Victoria insistently. "I didn't – you're already doing so much to help me. I can handle this on my own."

"I know you can," said Leonard. "I'm just sayin' you don't need to. I thought that's where we were at now."

He didn't understand; Victoria realised it immediately, but she was suddenly too tired to explain things to him. Her emotions were exhausting, and Leonard always wanted to talk about them. But she couldn't do it. "I don't want to talk about this right now," she said abruptly. Her eyes were stinging with unshed tears again, and her throat was closing up. She wanted to walk away and be miserable in peace, but he was still looking at her with those hazel eyes that made everything better even when he said the wrong things, and she felt all the fight, and energy, go out of her. Linking his arm with hers, she rested her head against his shoulder again and continued to gaze out of the viewscreens. The vast array of space in front of her was calming; at least when exploring space, no one knew what to expect. It was comforting not to be the only one who was lost and confused.

Next to her, Leonard sighed at her words. She braced herself for an argument, tired but still unwilling to walk away, but it never came. Instead, she felt him kiss the top of her head. "Okay," he murmured against her hair. "Maybe later?"

His easy agreement, after the months he'd spent forcing her to talk about the most mundane things, startled her enough to make her nod without realising exactly what she was agreeing to, but it was too late to backtrack now. Leonard kissed her hair again and intwined their fingers, allowing the silence to engulf them. It took a few minutes for Victoria to realise that he had no intention of moving; in fact, she was sure he had a shift in less than six hours, but he seemed to have no problem with sitting next to her on the floor in complete silence until she felt better. It was so unbearably sweet, and so him, that Victoria suddenly wished she wasn't an emotional mess and could say the things he wanted her to say, and mean them. But she was a mess, and the words got caught in her throat before she could speak.

Instead, she cleared her throat and decided to offer an olive branch. "This is nice," she said quietly.

"Hmm?"

"This. It's nice. It was nice of you to come find me."

"Ah," she heard the smile in his voice. "Well, I'm a nice guy."

Victoria smiled, the tone of his voice making her feel a little lighter. "You really are, and it's kind of annoying."

"Yeah, well, you're pretty even when you cry. That's annoyin' too, trust me."

Victoria snorted, her previous sadness temporarily forgotten. She sat up, turning to look at him with raised eyebrows. "Seriously? That's a terrible line."

"I know," Leonard shrugged. "It did the job, though."

"And what job is that?"

"Got you to smile," he grinned, and Victoria groaned quietly, even as she felt a smile threatening to take over her face. "See? Best part of my day, darlin'."

"Stop it," Victoria giggled despite herself. "That's awful, Leonard."

"You makin' fun of a guy's lines just because he's out of practice?"

"I'm making fun of him because he thinks he needs lines, when he obviously doesn't."

"Oh, please," he snorted. "Ninety percent of the reason you like me is because of the accent, don't deny it."

Victoria stared at him in surprise. Not noticing the look on her face, he chuckled again and stared out of the screen in front of them, his thumb rubbing soothing semi-circles into the back of her hand. And Victoria knew, instantly, that this couldn't be the way their conversation ended. Emotional mess or not, she couldn't let Leonard McCoy think that whatever it was between them was superficial. Shaking her head, she nudged him slightly to indicate that she wanted to stand up. Leonard got to his feet willingly and offered her his hand, which she took. As he pulled her up, she took advantage of his grip and allowed herself to be drawn in closer to him than she normally would have outside of his quarters, which made him grin. Ignoring it, she wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a chaste kiss, smiling when his hands came to rest on her hips. "That's not even one percent of the reason," she murmured against his lips. "And I'll happily give you a list when we're alone."

Leonard chuckled. "I look forward to it," he said. As he smoothed a loose lock of hair out of her eyes, he stroked her cheek. "You feelin' better now?"

"Infinitely better," assured Victoria. She caught his hand and pressed a kiss to his palm. "You sure I won't scare you off if I make this a habit?" she asked, her tone betraying that there was a genuine question behind her teasing.

Leonard realised it immediately. "No," he said, smiling softly. "You couldn't scare me off even if you tried, darlin'."

"Okay," said Victoria. She kissed his palm again. "Let's go."

As she untangled herself from his arms, Leonard looked confused. Victoria walked across the room to pick up her comm, checking to make sure it wasn't broken before putting it back in her pocket. She walked back to Leonard's side and held out her hand, which he took.

"Where're we goin'?" he asked, sounding both confused and amused.

Victoria threw him a quick smile before leading him out of the observation deck. "To talk," she said simply. "You up for it?"

Leonard grinned. "Hell yes."