Things didn't become much easier after that. If anything, things had become even harder- which was honestly what he should've expected with the kind of luck that he had. Now it was rare if they even waited for him to get home before engaging in sex. Now, he understood that sometimes the two of them did this and it didn't bother him at first. But after the fifth time in the same month? It was something that started to take a toll on one's confidence. Even confidence as low as his own. Sometimes he'd make due with pleasuring himself in the guest room, but it only really worked when they were still in a middle of a round. Erik was much too disgusted by his own appearance for him to really get off on his own touch most of the time.
When he returned home from work today, Raoul and Christine were dressed in their very best. He arched his visible eyebrow at them questioningly, not in the mood to actually verbalize. Raoul smiled sheepishly and pecked his unmasked cheek apologetically. "I'm sorry, Erik. Chrissy and I made reservations and we know you're not comfortable around large crowds. Maybe next time?" He suggested. The older male nodded, offering the best attempt at a smile. It was pathetic compared to his usual lop-sided grin but neither of them seemed to notice. Raoul simply kissed his cheek again and walked towards the door to hold it open for Christine.
A small pout resided on Christine's lips and she approached Erik carefully, wrapping her arms around him tightly. He raised his arms and returned the hug somewhat mechanically but this went unnoticed as well. "We love you, Erik. See you later? You don't have to stay up if you aren't able to." She informed softly and leaned up to peck his lips gently. He forced himself to respond, the lack of want in the last bit of her statement yet another blow. Wouldn't they want to spend a little time with him if they actually loved him? He'd like to think so, but he tried to content himself with what he could get so as to not ruin their apparent date night.
"I love you guys too. Perhaps I will see you later." He offered with a small shrug and another small smile. Christine hesitated for a moment before offering him a bright smile and she rushed out the door when she heard Raoul clear his throat. The younger male chuckled and followed after her, closing the door behind him. Erik stood there for a few minutes, ignoring the absolute disappointment that had welled up inside him. He wasn't sure what else he had been expecting. Did he truly think she had been paying enough attention to see through his act? Yes. He should've known better, though.
Erik sat in the living room for the longest time, unable to ignore the loneliness that had been welling up inside him for so long and the almost painful sense of emptiness. He would like to blame this situation on Raoul and Christine, claim that they'd done this to him maliciously, but he couldn't. He had always known that he was rather unlovable. He was just surprised that it had taken them so long to notice it themselves. They were just too kind and loving to ask him to get the fuck out or break it to him that they didn't want him anymore. Hell, they were too kind to tell him that he no longer make them lust for him. He'd always expected that to happen at some point in their relationship.
He couldn't take it anymore. He just wanted a break from feeling and thinking too goddamn much. He grabbed his cellphone and scrolled down to the contact that simply had a letter as the name. He hadn't used it in quiet awhile but he didn't give a damn at the moment. He needed relief and he wanted to get it in any way that he could. He sent the message and after a few replies, he got up and hurried out of the home.
Erik returned home twenty minutes later, sighing and rolling his eyes slightly when he saw that they were still out. He expected no less at this point. He hurried to the guestroom and slammed the door shut. He locked it and went over to the bed, laying down. He pulled a plastic bag full of syringes, the bag thankfully wrapped in a large piece of ripped rubber. He no longer had anything to use as a tourniquet so this would have to do. He wrapped it around his upper arm and used his teeth to tie it off. He laid back and pulled one of the needles out and prepared it. He laid it down on his stomach and tapped on the inside of his elbow until he found a viable vein. Once he had, it was all over. He closed his eyes and gave himself his first hit of the drug that he'd supposedly given up for good.
By the time the sounds of Raoul and Christine's giggles met his ears, he was blissfully numb in the arms of morphine. Perhaps it wasn't Morpheus but it was close enough to him, especially since his mind wasn't racing for once. He nearly panicked when their footsteps drew closer, but he managed to turn the bedside light off before they could bother themselves with him.
"I suppose he's already asleep... we can talk to him tomorrow." Christine's voice caught his attention. She sounded sad, almost resigned. There was a hum of agreement from Raoul and he could hear them heading back to the room they usually shared. He wasn't sure what that was, but it didn't sound good. Not at all. Perhaps he'd been right all this time and they'd finally gained the courage needed to get rid of him. He rolled over and reached for another syringe. Perhaps he wasn't as numb as he thought so he decided to take care of that for now.
But he'd be damned if he gave them a chance to talk to him tomorrow. He would delay it for as long as he could and then he'd reluctantly accept defeat.