Disclaimer: That '70s Show copyright The Carsey-Werner Company, LLC and Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment, LLC.

Author's Note: This story was written for the 2022 Zenmasters Anthology on tumblr.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN
MILE MARKER

Kelso dropped out of school like he said he would. Hyde still thought it was a mistake. A month into the school year, and Kelso hadn't spent much time with Jackie at all. Or his friends. He was barely around because of modeling.

Hyde, meanwhile, continued going to the Burkharts' place for Friday dinners. He and Jackie acted the chaste boyfriend and girlfriend, but every touch of her hand sent warmth up his arm. Every peck he gave her buzzed in his lips.

Jackie had quit the cheer squad, as her dad suggested, with no hits to her social status. Joining drama class only increased her popularity. She flounced down the school halls like the world was hers, and it probably was. People ate up that confidence.

Another new element of Jackie's life also added to her status: her and Hyde's pretend romance. Their hand-holding and cheek-kisses had crossed into school. They'd separated like a sonic boom burst between them when they first noticed. Gradually, though, it became a natural part of their friendship. People in Jackie's social circle were intrigued. Apparently, they believed her dating a "mysterious" older boy was cool, and his own rep had shifted because of it. Unsettlingly.

He was no longer treated like the son of lower-class drunks but Steven Hyde the Philosopher Badass, foster son of two respected Point Place citizens. Shit changed so damn fast in this town he couldn't keep pace.

The past month was freakin' weird, but Kelso at last grabbed a weekend off from work. Forman and Donna invited him and Hyde to Irish Al's Wee Golf. The place used to be cool, but Mitch Miller had started working here. The kid was a class-A dillhole. Abused his position as editor of the school newspaper, humiliating classmates he didn't like. Fez was on the receiving end last week.

Hyde let it go for today. Kelso was lining up his first shot at the lighthouse hole. He had the obnoxious tendency to take forever, and Forman and Donna pulled Hyde back. They were closer to the previous hole, the windmill, out of Kelso's earshot. Luckily the next group of golfers was two holes back.

"I had to wait to be sure," Forman said, "but now I am. What do you and Jackie think you're doing? Don't try to deny it." He walked two of his fingers up his putter handle. "I've seen you cavorting in the school halls and … touching each other."

Donna slung her arm around Forman's waist. "I might not be at Point Place High anymore, but I've seen the same thing in the basement. Sometimes you and Jackie go off to your room together—"

"I'm helpin' her with drama class," Hyde said. Turned out he wasn't a bad acting coach.

"Of course you are." She nodded incredulously. "Fez told us you and Jackie spent the whole summer, like, basically dating."

Hyde pushed his putter against the ground. "We're not dating, man. Didn't you get that from Jackie's letters?"

"Yeah, but Jackie doesn't always tell the whole story. Or the truth."

"Whatever."

Kelso's first shot had bounced off the lighthouse and returned the ball to his feet. His second shot was the same.

"Forman," Hyde said, "talkin' to you this summer was useless, but I would've told you the deal earlier. Kelso hatched a plan so Jackie's folks would let her date him again. Then Jackie came up with her own plan. The plans agree, and I freakin' agreed."

Forman flinched. "Why the hell would you do that?"

"Why the hell did I pull the Le Motel's fire alarm 'til sunrise?"

Donna smacked Hyde's shoulder. "That was you?"

"Yup. You pissed?"

"I was when it happened, but thank you for doing it. Having sex with Casey ..." She shuddered and shook out her arms. "You saved me from making a horrible mistake."

Forman looked at Hyde with a mixture of sympathy and worry. "Speaking of horrible mistakes—" he poked Hyde's chest with his index finger—"you've got to get out of this."

"I will," Hyde said, "once Jackie's folks let her and Kelso date without it being a secret."

Donna gestured toward Kelso, whose swings continued to be crappy. "They're not even dating in secret. When Kelso's not modeling, he's not with Jackie. Or haven't you realized that?"

"This should've been their day, you know?" Forman said. "Why is he hanging out here?"

Kelso finally made a good shot. His ball sped toward the lighthouse and slipped through the hole at the bottom of it.

Hyde scratched the nape of his neck "Sitch is temporary."

"It won't be if you don't reconnect Jackie and Kelso," Donna said, and she, Forman, and Hyde moved out of the way of the golfers behind them. Forman went to the lighthouse hole. He was up next, but Donna held Hyde in place. "You've been through this before. I don't want any of you to get hurt."

"I'll do my best." He appreciated her concern, but Kelso and Jackie reconnecting wasn't on him. It was on Kelso and Jackie.

"Tonight." Donna tugged on the sleeve of his denim jacket. "You can't wait on this. My Dad and Joanne are on weekend tennis retreat, so the house is free. Set up an intimate date for Jackie and Kelso. Cook a nice dinner for them. I'll stay at Eric's until they're done. The guest room, and the guest room only, is available for the … physical part of their reunion."

The image of Jackie and Kelso kissing, of doing more, soured Hyde's stomach. "Lock your bedroom door just in case."

They arrived at the next hole as Forman took his swing. It was aggressive. The ball rebounded off the lighthouse, flew toward the merchandise booth, and struck Mitch in the forehead. He dropped to the ground and stayed on the ground.

"The little guy went down like a sack of golf balls!" Kelso said.

Hyde clapped Forman on the back. "Man, when have you ever knocked out anyone with one swing?"

The four of them approached the booth. Mitch was definitely unconscious, lying beneath shelves of golf balls, putters, and trophies. His plaid golf hat had fallen off his head.

"I'll find the manager," Donna said. "You three call the hospital."

Hyde and Kelso each put their finger to their nose and said, "Not it."

Forman tossed his putter to the ground. "Damn."

"Well, it's your fault this happened," Hyde said.

Forman scowled at him. "I must have channeled my frustration into my swing."

"What are you frustrated about?" Kelso said. He glanced at the corner of the putt-putt course where Donna had disappeared. "Oh! You can't French Donna in school anymore since she goes to that Catholic one."

Hyde rubbed his cheek. Kelso was wrong, but maybe truth existed in his theory anyway. Donna's jaunt to California resulted in a harsh punishment. Bob had sent her to Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow, a Catholic school. That sucked. Hyde, Jackie, and Fez missed hanging out with her between classes. Forman missed her worse.

But he got off easy for defying his folks. No Vista Cruiser for a month and a month-long grounding, except to pick Donna up from school. Red figured the ten-mile bike-ride there and the ten miles back fitted the crime: fly to California, and, boy, were his legs tired. Forman lasted three days, with Donna biking him home on the last one.

His first weekend of freedom, however—today—and he'd clocked Mitch with a golf ball. A worthy accomplishment. Still, he flipped Hyde and Kelso the bird before leaving for the payphone.

Hyde stared at Mitch over the booth's counter. "Well, there goes our Saturday, stayin' with his ass at the hospital."

"Doesn't he have parents?" Kelso said.

"Someone's feeding him. You know their number?"

"I barely know this little dude's name."

"Info's probably in his wallet."

"So once he gets into the ambulance, we're off the hook." Kelso raised his hand for a high-five. Hyde obliged, reluctantly.

"And Forman's responsible for Mitch bein' in this state," Hyde said, "so he's the one who should go to the hospital if the paramedics ask."

Kelso grinned. "It's been a long time, huh?"

"For what?"

"Us burning Eric."

Hyde laughed quietly. He and Kelso had burned Forman plenty when they were younger. Putting food-coloring in Forman's toothpaste. Jell-O in his shoes. The Mealworm Incident. Used to be fun.

"Listen," Hyde said, "you and Jackie should go to Donna's tonight around seven. House'll be adult-free. Donna won't be there either, and I'll cook for you guys."

"You'd do that for us?"

"Been doin' big favors for you since June," and Hyde needed to stop. "You haven't had a real date in months. It's happening tonight. You can even mess around in the guest room if you want."

Kelso pumped his fist in the air. "Awesome! I keep trying to make dates with Jackie, but she's always busy."

Hyde blinked at this info. He'd thought Kelso was the one avoiding Jackie.

"I really miss her," Kelso said.

"She misses you, too."

"How can you be sure?"

"It's obvious," Hyde said. "Trust me." Jackie's heart firmly belonged to the guy, but she was afraid Kelso's heart belonged to his career. Nothing else explained her behavior. Whenever she reached out to Hyde, she was pining over Kelso. The past proved it, including this summer. No difference now.