"And he singled out our girls first! He didn't dance with another until he had danced with them all. Well, he didn't dance with my Lydia, but she had so many partners, it did not matter."
"I do not care a jot, Mama. I do not favor him at all!"
"Oh, Lydia! You were so admired! But our Jane has surely caught his attention now. There is no one as lovely as our Jane."
"Mama, please," pleaded Jane, wishing her mother would stop. Mrs. Phillips had come to call and, though she had been at the assembly herself, she was eager to hear the account from her sister.
"Of course he must, sister. There is no lady to compare to our Jane. I would wager she will be Mrs. Andrews by summer!"
"Oh! Mrs. Andrews! How grand it sounds!"
Kitty had heard enough and excused herself. Her mother had been saying nothing else since they had climbed into the carriage the night before. She was sick of hearing it. Even when Lizzy reminded her that he had danced twice with her, Mrs. Bennet did not give a single care, saying he was being a gentleman to Jane's sisters, showing he was accepting of them all. She was sure that he would help make matches for them as well.
She made her way out to the garden and on to their swing. She sat and pushed off. Lydia had teased her that morning about liking Mr. Andrews. She shoved Lydia out of her room and slammed the door, refusing to answer. Of course she liked Mr. Andrews. He was handsome and kind, and paid her attention no other man ever had, even if it was only friendly in nature. Kitty was no fool. She was not as beautiful as Jane, Lizzy, and Lydia. Not when compared to them, anyway. She was certain she was prettier than many young ladies in the neighborhood. She could not think of any other traits she may share with her sisters. She was not sweet like Jane, nor witty as Lizzy. She was not studious like Mary, though she hesitated to consider that a favorable trait. Lydia was fun and a favorite of most everyone in their circle. Kitty was constantly berated for her complaining and coughing, as though one could help coughing. She also knew she could be as wild as Lydia.
No, she doubted Mr. Andrews would see her as anything but perhaps a friend, if men and women could even claim to be so. She did think about the last words he said to her. She was a gentleman's daughter, and she should behave as one.
She needed to talk to someone, but she didn't know who. Lydia was out of the question. She would laugh at her and then tell everyone who would listen anything Kitty had confided in her. Mariah was out, as she had a tendency of saying things she shouldn't; not on purpose, she would just forget it was a secret. She couldn't talk to Lizzy. Lizzy was as apt to scold her as Mary would. She finally decided that it would have to be Jane. Jane would listen and keep her secrets; she always had.
Kitty returned to the house to speak with her eldest sister. She reached the drawing room to find her mother still telling Mrs. Phillips about Mr. Andrews. She rolled her eyes.
"Jane, will you take a turn about the garden with me?"
"Kitty, Jane must remain here! What if Mr. Andrews should arrive?" shrieked her mother.
"I shall be in view of the drive, Mama. If anyone should arrive, I will know it," soothed Jane. She was already preparing to join her sister. Kitty was almost positive Jane wished to be away from their mother and aunt. "It is a beautiful day. I would be happy to join you, Kitty."
The two sisters linked arms once they were out of doors. They walked a little ways before Jane asked if Kitty wished to speak about something.
"Yes. As you know, Mr. Andrews asked me for two dances last evening, only the second, he hadn't really asked me for." Jane looked concerned, and not wanting her to get the wrong idea, she quickly moved on. "It's not what you think! He was not demanding or unrespectable, he was avoiding dancing with Lydia without shaming us. I asked him after we finished why he asked me and he said she had offended him. He said that, while our neighbors would not mind Lydia asking for a dance, most any visitor would take offense to it. He said that we are a gentleman's daughters and we should behave as such. Those words have stuck in my mind and I cannot forget them."
"I cannot say I am pleased that Mr. Andrews answered you so frankly, but then, I am not surprised. He is not afraid to speak his mind, no matter his audience."
"No, he is not," she smiled.
Jane studied her for a moment and smiled almost sadly at her. "Do you like Mr. Andrews, Kitty?"
Kitty paused and searched for the right words to say. "I hardly know him. One assembly does not make one an expert on anyone, not matter what our mother may think. He is handsome, to be sure."
Jane seemed satisfied with her answer. "What is it you wish of me?"
"Can you teach me to be a proper lady?"
Jane appeared stunned. She looked at her younger sister as though she were seeing her for the first time. "You want for me to teach you to be a lady?"
"Yes. You and Lizzy are different from the rest of us. Mary puts on airs, but even she received a little instruction. The rest she has learned from her books. Lydia and I did not receive the same instruction that you did. I remember Grandmother teaching you how to sit and behave, how to stand and walk. You know all the right things to say and I haven't a clue. Lydia, I have heard, is considered too bold. Up until this point, I have mostly followed along after her. I can't even give a reason as to why, other than we have always done everything together. I am not foolish enough to think that Mr. Andrews would favor me, but I hope that someday, some gentleman might. How can they do that if I have a reputation of being silly?"
"Oh, Kitty! You are wonderful all on your own!"
"Jane, I have nothing to recommend me! I only stand out when I behave as Lydia does, but even then, it is Lydia most people notice."
The sisters held each other's eyes, one pleading and the other searching for the right course. Finally, Jane nodded. "Alright, Kitty. I shall help you refine yourself, but promise me you will not try and become someone other than yourself. You can improve yourself without losing who you are."
"Oh, thank you, Jane!" she exclaimed, wrapping her arms around her eldest sister. "I promise I will try not to lose myself." They laughed together. The sounds of a carriage entering the drive distracted the girls.
"Look," said Jane, "it's Lady Lucas. I wonder what news she brings."
"I doubt Mama will care. She will only be disappointed that is wasn't Mr. Andrews." Jane and Kitty giggled all the way back to the house.
Two days had passed since Kitty had asked Jane to help, and she had yet to regret it. As promised, Jane began instructing her on the finer points of being a lady. In all honestly, she did not feel too out of her depth. In fact, she was pleased to find that most of what Jane instructed her, she was familiar with, she had just never really applied it to herself. Jane then decided she would learn better simply by applying it to her daily activities, and Jane would correct her as they went. Kitty was delighted with this plan.
The only downside was that Lizzy had discovered them quickly. She shouldn't have been surprised, since Lizzy and Jane were so close. When Jane had said she would be spending the morning with Kitty, Lizzy's curious mind would not let her leave the matter alone, and so she followed her eldest sister and waited to see what business they had together. Lizzy did not mock her, but she was obviously amused by it. Kitty was thrilled when Jane glared at Lizzy and sent her on her way.
Lady Lucas, on top of her neighborly visit, brought with her an invite to dinner, which is how Kitty found herself at Lucas Lodge. It was a pleasant gathering, she supposed, but she had no idea what to do. Dinner had been nice, as she was sat next to the eldest Lucas boy, a young man of twenty-two, and across from Charlotte, who was seated next to Mr. Andrews. Jane sat on his other side. Conversation flowed easily among them all. It was when the ladies had left the men and gathered in the parlor that Kitty found herself not sure of what to do.
Jane had tried to convince their mother to let Kitty stay near her, but Mrs. Bennet wouldn't hear of it. She wanted Jane to be able to give Mr. Andrews an appealing view and her full attention. Lizzy and Charlotte were caught up in their own conversation, and Lydia was giggling with Mariah in another corner. She would have joined them not long ago, but she felt she needed to put a little distance from that behavior. She looked over and saw Mary sitting to play. Not seeing any other course of action, Kitty went to ask if Mary would like for her to turn the pages.
"You want to turn the pages? Why?" she asked suspiciously.
"Because I thought you would appreciate it?"
Mary starred at her, looking for some hint of teasing. Finding none, she agreed. So, for the next hour, she turned pages for her sister, and she could not think of a duller thing one could do. The men had already rejoined the ladies, and Mr. Andrews stood speaking with her father, Sir William, and his own uncle, a Mr. Richards. Kitty was not too familiar with the family, but then most of his children were grown and moved away. She had learned that night that his son and his wife were in the west visiting family. She nearly groaned when her mother tried to herd Jane in Mr. Andrews's direction. She felt sorry for her sister. Jane had confessed the day before that she knew that Mr. Andrews was not the man for her. He was too bold and Jane didn't think she could handle being married to such a man. Also, she was almost certain he did not wish to have her for a wife either.
Eventually, Mary dismissed her, saying she wished to play from memory. Kitty gladly fled. She would later berate herself to not paying attention to where she was going, and sitting without a thought, but not too much. She enjoyed the conversation.
"That was kind of you, to stand with your sister and turn the pages. I always found the task dull."
"Oh! Mrs. Andrews, forgive me! I did not see you sitting here," she said to the smiling woman.
"It is alright. I have done the same. I enjoy the amusement, but my friends could not understand that my inability to play did not make me their permanent page turner."
Kitty laughed. "You do not play, Mrs. Andrews?"
"No, I never had much of a talent for singing or playing an instrument of any kind. My talents lay with arrangements and drawing. Do you draw, Miss Catherine?"
"I used to," she said softly.
"You do not anymore?"
Kitty was not pleased to once more find herself searching for a proper answer. Saying that your little sister made fun of your drawings was not a proper response.
"I have not for a few years. I lost interest in it, I suppose…"
"You suppose? Well, mayhap you should take it back up to see if you might not enjoy the practice once more. I once stopped working on my needlework, deciding I was bored with it. About a year later, I found my sample, and having nothing better to do, I began working on it again. I discovered I enjoyed the activity much better than I did the year before."
She thought over what Mrs. Andrews said. She had always enjoyed drawing. Her drawings were the one thing she remembered receiving praise from her father for. "You know, Mrs. Andrews, I do believe I shall. It used to bring me so much happiness. I have never lost my enjoyment of needlework however."
They spent the next while talking about different samples and dress patterns. Kitty told her how she did a particular type of stitch, one that she found was the least likely to unravel.
"That is certainly helpful. I shall have to try it."
"Try what, Mother," said Mr. Andrews, having managed to approach the ladies without disturbing them.
"Nothing you care to hear. Did you tire of discussing estate matters?"
"No, uncle and Mr. Bennet began speaking of the war. Militia have been taking up residence in the villages around the country. Good evening, Miss Catherine."
"Mr. Andrews."
"Why were they discussing the militia?" asked Mrs. Andrews.
"They were debating whether or not you might play host to one in the area."
"It would be nice if we did," said Kitty without much thought. Looking at her companions, she felt compelled to continue. "There are so few gentlemen in the area, it would be nice to have more to attend the assemblies."
Mr. Andrews chuckled. "That is certainly one way of viewing it."
"What do you think of it?"
He huffed at being drawn into a similar conversation as the one he had been trying to avoid. His mother giggled.
"I am not sure. It depends on the regiment. Militia are not like the regulars, and can oft times be a little more unruly, but not always."
"Well," started Mrs. Andrews, "let us hope, if a regiment does come into the area, that it is simply filled with nice young men eager to dance with our abundance of young ladies."
The ride home was not comfortable to say the least. Mrs. Bennet was not happy that Mr. Andrews had not sought out Jane's particular company, even when said daughter claimed to have had a nice conversation over dinner.
"But Miss Lucas shared in your conversation. That hardly gives him the opportunity to declare himself"
"Mama, if he were going to declare himself to me, I am certain he would have done it years ago. He is here to visit his mother. For all we know, he may have a lady in Nottinghamshire that he wishes to declare himself to."
"He does not! I discreetly asked his mother about the subject and he has made no mention of any lady, and has, in fact, said that there is not a lady in his neighborhood that he does not share familial feelings for. He is quite unattached."
"But we should still not suppose he means to make an offer for me."
Mrs. Bennet would hear none of it and marched into the house once they arrived. Excusing herself, Kitty went straight up into her room. She closed the door and slowly approached her closet. On the top self, in the back, she found what she was looking for. She laid the box down reverently and stared at it. Taking a breath, she opened it and smiled. Here were all her drawings, blank pages, charcoal, and paints. She looked everything over and decided that the paints would need to be replaced, but everything else was in working order. She browsed through her old drawings and felt a bit of pride well in her chest. She certainly had a talent for it. Putting everything aside, she decided to see how much she now needed to improve since putting her tools away when she was just thirteen.