Where is Home?

by Varmint

In a world where Kakuzu sought refuge in Konohagakure well before Takigakure had ever been even thought of, a tale of romance and heartbreak unlike any their world has ever seen blossoms... And shrivels. Hashirama/Kakuzu rare-pair. Huge AU! Three-shot.

2. Our Wretched Misery

A/N: Thank you all for the follow, favorites, and reviews! I'm really happy to see that there are other weirdoes out there that want to read about rare-pairs and huge AU's!

Please enjoy~

~..~..~

Chapter 2: Wretched Heartbreak

Hashirama Senju was dangerous for Kakuzu's well being.

He would have loved to have been able to say that this was a man he could easily ignore. It would have been great to minimize any sort of impact the God of Shinobi had made in Kakuzu's life. And it would have been dangerous to allow said impact to be found out by the rest of his family.

But he couldn't deny the way his heart would begin to speed up whenever he would notice the older Senju brother walking towards him. He couldn't just ignore the way that he found himself wanting to see Hashirama at the beginning of the day so they could go out for breakfast together. He couldn't make himself believe that he didn't become somewhat anxious to not mess up whenever the Senju was around.

Never before had he felt so oxymoronically eager and anxious to spend time with someone. In his twenty three years of life, he had never yearned to be around another person as much as he feared being with them.

And the worst part was that the Senju didn't even seem to notice the effect he had on him.

"This is Kakuzu, Madara. He's the Etō clan head I told you about- the one that's going to be helping us with your plan for a mountain chain around Konoha."

Madara Uchiha. Hashirama's best friend. For the past two weeks Kakuzu had been in Konoha, helping out wherever he was assigned to, he had heard from Hashirama how much this man was like Tobirama and how little those two got along. Because of the Senju's rather large mouth, Kakuzu knew more about the Uchiha than he actually cared to.

Now that he saw the man's face and was able to judge him physically, he could agree that Madara did have a mysterious allure about him that would make simple women swoon. But it was no surprise not many kunoichi actually tried to get to know this man for a relationship- he seemed to be stuck in the rebellious phase of sixteen years old.

Dark eyes narrowed as Madara did nothing to hide the fact he was sizing Kakuzu up.

Kakuzu believed it prudent to, in return, do nothing to hide the fact that he didn't actually care about getting judged by him. Hashirama's best friend or not, this man was just another person he met within a refuge. He was no one important to Kakuzu.

Turning back to the garment he had been sewing, Kakuzu grunted out, "I don't go on break for another hour, Senju. And I'm not some exhibit to be gawked at."

Kayda wasn't very amused with the fact that Hashirama had returned to pester her brother during work hours, yet again. And she made it very clear by frowning and using too much force on the loom she was currently working on to create a dark purple tunic. Kakuzu, bothered by the lack of attention to her work, frowned at her- she had been contracted by one of their wealthiest customers to make that and it needed to be perfect if they wanted to keep her business.

"Oh, I know, Kuzu. We're just bored."

"I have more than enough work to do. You are the one that needs constant entertainment, Hashirama." Madara's voice was deep, coming directly from the bottom of his throat. It was also no-nonsense in a way that was similar to Tobirama's own... Maybe Hashirama was onto something.

"You needed a break, Madara. Izuna told me about your migraines." Hashirama's tone spoke of severity and Kakuzu stopped himself from sighing in annoyance at this.

He didn't need any of this in his workplace. They had only just managed to acquire this plot of land for the Etō clan and were trying to continue earning money so they could improve their lives. If he wasn't working, he wasn't making money. But Hashirama didn't really seem to understand this because he had no qualms about intruding on his job whenever he wanted.

"Kayda, I'll be back in an hour."

Hashirama clapped a heavy hand onto his shoulder and the warmth that sent through Kakuzu's body seeped deep into the muscle he just noticed felt rather tired.

With a small sigh, the man cursed himself for being so vulnerable to this bright eyed dolt.

~/~

Kakuzu and Madara, in the very beginning, got along about as well as Kakuzu and Tobirama did: just enough.

Hashirama believed that it was because all three of them were so quiet and private that they didn't make close friends. But it was precisely because of these very attributes that they happened to get along well enough.

But this uneasy comradery ended rather quickly, amazingly enough. And it was an end for the better.

As they ate, He was the one to supply most of the conversation starters. He was the one to ask the questions that served as ice breakers for either of his friends. And he was the one to keep offering interesting conversational topics whenever they hit quiet lulls. Or, at least, that had been job for a good part of their time together. That had ended, though, when Hashirama had let slip that Kakuzu had been the person to set the pace for their Natural Defense Project.

Madara's face had become unreadable for just a second- in that way that let Hashirama know that Madara was absolutely impressed but did not want anyone else to find out that he felt actual human emotions. And then he had begun to ask Kakuzu about his skills, just how much building that first mound had taken out of him, and soon enough they had wound up exchanging war stories.

All the while Madara and Kakuzu spoke about some strategies they had both employed in their own time to protect their own families, Hashirama merely busied himself by eating his food. Even though he could offer his own input into the conversation, he didn't feel like it. If anything, he would rather just allow these two to find common ground on their own.

Besides, there was a guilty voice in the back of his head that stopped him from talking about his own decisions in times of war. Many clans had lost almost all of their members because of the ceaseless, meaningless fighting. And he knew that he was not innocent of having taken quite a few Uchiha lives- it would be odd to speak about how he had done exactly this in front of Madara.

By the time he had finished his meal, he could see the surprised acceptance shining within Madara's eyes. And when he looked at Kakuzu, he found a rather similar spark within those incredibly unique eyes.

"Hn, I've got to go." Kakuzu grumbled as those eyes met his own, which immediately made Hashirama frown.

"The conversation just became stimulating." Madara's tone would have sounded snide or even insulting to many other people, but Hashirama knew better than this. Madara was not upset because he thought that Kakuzu had been boring up until now. He was upset because Kakuzu had to leave and this new creature that offered enjoyment would be gone and he'd have to go back to a boring life with the annoying Hashirama pressuring him into not becoming a hermit.

"My lunch hour is up." The man sighed softly, as if he lamented acknowledging this. "I have to continue working."

Madara frowned but nodded, "Of course. Maybe Hashirama can set up another lunch like this- with your knowledge this time."

Kakuzu hummed and stood up, then pulled out his wallet from within his large coat. Hashirama narrowed his eyes as the man began to count out the money necessary to pay for what he had ordered. Not only had Kakuzu ordered one of the cheapest items on the menu, but he had ordered nothing to drink- it would not be a big bother for either him or Madara to pay for him.

"Put that away, Kuzu. I'll pay for you today." He smiled at his friend... But soon found himself regretting having spoken up.

The flash of insult that flashed in Kakuzu's eyes... The pain that suddenly seemed to consume his face... And then the disappointed frown that took over his features...

Had... Had he said the wrong thing?

"I can pay for myself."

Kakuzu's voice... Why was it suddenly so cold? Hashirama had never heard him sound like this.

Hashirama had been so stunned by the sudden shift in his friend's attitude that he wasn't able to recover before the man had left. When he finally got over his shock, it was to find Kakuzu's payment on the table and a very distinct lack of his friend.

To his side, he heard Madara scoff. "What... What did I do?"

"Personally, I don't understand why he felt insulted." Madara shrugged as he stood up from his own chair, picking up the ryo left on the table so he could go ahead and pay for them. "But I'm guessing that it had something to do with money. Good luck. That is not my problem."

Hashirama blinked at his oldest friend, but was ignored by him. Madara walked off to pay their meal, leaving Hashirama all alone with his thoughts.

~/~

Fortunately for him, Hashirama did not come bother him for a while after the unbelievable insult onto his person.

For many, Kakuzu had overreacted. For his clan and pride, he should have done something drastic to ensure Hashirama Senju was never capable of insulting him like this ever again.

There was no greater insult to a member of the Etō clan than to offer pity. They were a proud clan that thrived off their own adversity. Weakness was frowned upon and obliterated. Only the strongest were allowed to flourish. Having someone, no matter how close to the member of the clan, offer to help... It was tantamount to spitting on the graves of their ancestors.

Hashirama did not know this. No one within the Land of Fire knew this. This was a custom from the Land of Void that had begun to die off a few decades ago. In Hashirama's defense, only Kakuzu's family knew about this insult within Konohagakure. So when he had offered to pay for Kakuzu's food, he had done so out of kindness and not because he had wanted to ridicule Kakuzu's status as a refugee.

Rationalizing this reality, though, did nothing to wash away the burning pain of powerlessness that Hashirama had unwittingly created.

"You are aware that he's terrified of speaking with you?"

Kakuzu grunted at the brother's question, more than aware of the fact that Hashirama proved to be smart enough to avoid him after what he had done. He didn't say anything, though, and instead prepared himself mentally for the task he would embark on once the rest of Tobirama's recruits arrived.

With a grunt of his own, Tobirama stepped away. He left Kakuzu with the blueprints within his hands, allowing the man to completely contemplate his newest objective. And he walked over to the shinobi that walked up to the clearing they would be working from.

When Madara arrived, Kakuzu noticed the cold glare he shared with Tobirama. But neither male spoke to each other- they seemed to have a silent agreement to avoid one another, even when working together.

Madara walked up to him with a stern frown on his lips, "I am not the kind to intervene in the matters of others, but if I hear Hashirama ask me why you hate him one more time, I cannot be held accountable for any drastic measures I partake in."

Kakuzu quirked an eyebrow at the almost-growl that Madara's voice had adopted, but said nothing. He was still very much insulted by Hashirama's offer to pay for him, even though he knew he was being childish about it.

Madara's eyes narrowed into a cold glare, but one that wasn't as scathing as the one he had sent Tobirama earlier. Then he crossed his arms over his chest and grumbled, before eventually saying, "You are lucky you are one of the few interesting people currently residing within this village- I still wish to speak about strategy within and outside of war with you."

That was an interesting way of telling him that he wished to keep some sort of friendship with him, but it at least let Kakuzu know that Madara had a mind of his own.

When the Uchiha left to speak with the clan members he had brought along with him, Kakuzu was allowed a reprieve from any further conversation. His members had already been informed about their assignment and they were all working on gathering their chakra for the task they would be embarking on in a few minutes. Kakuzu decided to ground himself as well- he was about to lose a lot of chakra today and he needed to concentrate a hundred percent on this one task.

By the time Hashirama arrived, he felt his chakra pulsing throughout his whole body, the air around him buzzing almost audibly because of the power within him.

He hated to admit this... but seeing Hashirama with heavy bags under his eyes and clear sadness on his face... it caused Kakuzu's concentration to falter. His control over his chakra wavered the electricity at the tips of his fingers began to recede within his body yet again.

Growling deep from his chest, Kakuzu chided himself for being so vulnerable to a man.

Hashirama walked up to him with utmost caution, as if walking up to a wild animal. And Kakuzu stopped himself just in time to halt the feelings of guilt that tried to bubble up within him.

"Kakuzu... I don't know what I did... But I'm sorry about it." Hashirama whispered when he was directly in front of him... And Kakuzu desperately tried to stay angry with the man that had insulted him by showing pity.

But there was an unavoidable twinge of ache in his heart because of seeing Hashirama so sad and defeated. There was an undeniable feeling of guilt for having overreacted to such a degree that Hashirama had been left like this. And, unfortunately, there was a need deep within his heart to make this right.

Kakuzu frowned as he turned away from the Senju, then grunted, "Never offer to pay anything for me ever again."

Because he had turned away from the man, Kakuzu wasn't able to see Hashirama's body prepare itself for a jump. But when he felt strong and warm arms wrap around his shoulders, he froze on the spot, his brain short circuiting at affection he was not accustomed to feeling. And when he was pulled into a sturdy body, he could do little more than tense up completely and prepare himself for a possible attack- he had no idea how to react.

"I'll do everything in my power to never hurt you again, Kuzu! I promise."

Kakuzu's brain worked overtime to figure out that it was Hashirama hugging him and he was not currently in any danger. Regrettably, it took him a while to figure this out. And by the time he had figured it out, Hashirama had been hugging him for much too long...

With a quick but soft push at the man's shoulders, Kakuzu extricated himself from the embrace. And he had planned on telling him that just because he had been forgiven, it didn't meant that they were friends again.

The look of pure hope in those bright eyes cut off those words before they had even formed in Kakuzu's mouth.

"You're too affectionate." He eventually finished on, earning a happy smile from the Senju.

Luckily enough, Tobirama called for his older brother at that point, earning his attention for long enough to allow Kakuzu to step away from him.

As the brothers spoke, Kakuzu felt eyes on the back of his head. And when he looked behind him, it was to find that his clan members were looking at him, distrust clear within their eyes.

Kakuzu frowned and shook his head at them- they were still among allies and there was no need for them to doubt Hashirama Senju so much.

"Alright, you all know your assignments!" Madara shouted among the grouping of earth-release users. "The Etō clan head will begin the creation- you are all to back him up. Don't mess up."

Now all eyes were on him; he was even able to hear a few whispers of doubt and disbelief around him. Kakuzu rolled his shoulders and focused himself once again- regaining control over his chakra. Then he stepped towards the area Tobirama had marked off for the initial mountain that would start off the mountain chain surrounding Konohagakure.

This time around, he was able to hear the gasps of surprise and astonishment that broke out around him when he was able to push the hill he had previously created into a small mountain. The only reason he did not completely drain his chakra reserves was because of the speedy intervention of his clan members pushing their own chakra into the ground- all the while the rest of the ninja around him gawked at what they had just witnessed.

Luckily enough, with twin barks of command from Tobirama and Madara, the rest of the shinobi around them snapped back to reality and aided him in creating a large mountain- a process that took a few hours and left them all mostly drained from chakra.

Once they were finished, Kakuzu stepped away, head light and uncomfortable- but at least this time he wasn't bleeding from his eyes.

Hashirama- unsurprisingly- made his way towards him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. But Kakuzu was much too exhausted from utilizing most of his chakra to properly tense up at the contact.

"If we keep this up, Kuzu, we'll have completed Tobirama's plans in no time."

To the right, Kakuzu swore he heard Madara grumble. But he was much too tired to properly care about such a thing. He instead leaned into Hashirama's side and luxuriated in the warmth that seeped into his side.

He loathed just how much comfort Hashirama exuded without even trying. There was no way to get around it... Hashirama Senju was his greatest weakness. He felt like he could be vulnerable around the man... And unless he wanted to cause Hashirama a great amount of pain, Kakuzu would just have to live with this great vulnerability for the rest of his life.

~/~

"I was never part of the clan head's lineage." His newest friend offered with a small sigh as he tossed the chicken into the dented wok. "In the clan, I was considered a commoner. A powerful and useful one- a perfect tool for the clan head's family to use in war; a glorified bodyguard. I was never raised to lead."

For a moment after this had been said, they were both silent. Hashirama cut up the onion and Kakuzu moved the chicken around with a wooden, torn up spoon.

"Then... How did you become the clan head?" The Senju questioned softly, more than aware that he was currently walking over egg shells around his friend. But, luckily enough, this time he was aware of this being a sensitive subject.

Kakuzu was a private man. He did not talk about his clan. He did not talk about his home. He barely talked about himself. Everything they had spoken about until right now had been about Konohagakure and possible investments and constructions they could make. He had only allowed Hashirama to get to know him on a superficial level.

This was akin to Madara talking to him about Izuna's paralysis, he was sure. Or Tobirama about the mysterious jutsu he wanted to keep tightly classified.

"As I'm sure you've heard, the Etō were- are- extremely conservative. The man's place of power was so important to them that only a man could be clan head- only an active shinobi could be clan head." With a sigh that came straight from the soul, Kakuzu hung his head and stopped moving the chicken, allowing it to sizzle softly. "Yuu is blind. Capable in a battle, but too vulnerable and weak to ever be allowed the prestige of clan head. I was the only other male left in what little remains of my clan."

A conservative and male-exalting clan.

Could his clan's traditions be one of the reasons why he was so jumpy whenever Hashirama tried to touch him? … It would make sense, really.

Kakuzu was only one year older than him. Realistically speaking, Hashirama had much more on his plate than him. He was trying to create a whole village; Kakuzu was merely trying to keep his family alive. But somehow, in Hashirama's mind, this seemed to be too much of a burden on his friend. And if he could, he would gladly take some of his burdens off his shoulders.

"Well, to not have been raised to lead, you're doing a fine job."

Kakuzu remained quiet, lips pressed into a tight line as his eyebrows drew into a frustrated glare. Then he pulled the chicken out of the wok, placed it on a cracked bowl, and drizzled a small amount of oil onto the wok.

"I call the terrain we came from the Land of Void. Void; nothing; an all encompassing absence; a vacuum." Now the man's voice was strained and Hashirama could see the tightness that ran all along his body. "Do you know what my clan members call that very hell?"

Even with the tightness in his body, Kakuzu reached out and grabbed the cut up onions from Hashirama and threw them into the wok. Hashirama watched the vegetable cook and crackle for a moment, then aided Kakuzu by throwing in the broccoli and mushrooms for him. There was an abundance of vegetables. But there was a marked lack of chicken for the three siblings to eat.

Was the price of meat still too high for the refugees?

"Your family doesn't really speak much with me." He offered, trying to not make it sound like they were actively avoiding interaction with non-clan members; even though they both knew the reason behind Kakuzu's family remaining separated from the rest of the refugees.

Kakuzu actually hissed in disdain. "The Land of Heaven. That's what they call it. They're blinded by traditions and refuse to acknowledge how horrible that place was to us."

Hashirama felt his heart clench.

At that very moment, all he wanted to do was walk up to Kakuzu and hug him tightly; he wanted to tell the older man that he had gotten away from the Land of Void; he wanted to promise that he would do everything in his power to make sure the Etō clan prospered in their new home. But he knew that if he did such a thing, Kakuzu would mistake it for pity. And the last thing he needed was for Kakuzu to ignore him for another two weeks straight because of a misunderstanding.

Instead of directly comforting his newest friend, Hashirama merely said, "Then it's a good thing that you've proved to be the driving force behind Tobirama's mountain project. The Etō clan will undoubtedly be considered important after everything you have done for Konohagakure."

There was a moment of silence between them.

The kitchen was beginning to get uncomfortably hot because of the smoke that was coming from the stove. Hashirama took a step away from Kakuzu and patted his forehead with the sleeve of his shirt. Kakuzu shrugged off his large coat- revealing incredibly toned arms... and forearms with geometrically shaped rings tattooed onto them.

Hashirama was sure that there was a story behind those identical tattoos. He knew better than to prod Kakuzu after he had already opened up with something that had left him so vulnerable.

He was just happy that Kakuzu felt trusting enough to tell him such a thing.

~/~

Kakuzu sighed as Hashirama bid his goodbye and left through his home's front door.

Having prepared dinner with the man had been... an experience.

The invitation to cook something together had come from Hashirama himself- undoubtedly in an attempt to eat together once again without accidentally offending his friend yet again. He had brought the vegetables with the excuse that he couldn't cook for the life of him- offering them to Kakuzu so they could prepare a dish together.

Kakuzu, as weak as he was to Hashirama, had not been able to muster up the strength to tell him no.

"You prepared dinner?" Kayda questioned as she entered through the small hut they had been able to create from the plot of land they had bought for their clan.

Their houses were huts made of the ground below them. Kakuzu, Kamiko, Mamiko, and Asuka had created four houses to house three members of the clan each. Kakuzu, of course, lived with his two sisters. The twins were the only ones that were able to stomach Yuu's annoying ways. And the rest had divided themselves up with the people they liked the most.

Even though the structures were rudimentary, their clan had managed to quickly create a reputation for an efficient and quick work ethic, along with a clear lack of care for being tired. Many of the shinobi with money now favored contracting one of them for many jobs because they were so great at anything they worked at. And, because of this, they had been able to create a small fortune that had allowed them to buy productive appliances that helped make their days easier. Their stove was one that worked off of gas and they had gotten a good deal on a couple of containers from Akimichi chefs.

Without bothering to answer his sister, Kakuzu picked up the plates he and Hashirama had used to eat dinner. He walked over to the large clay bowl they utilized to wash their dishes, then walked out of this temporary hut to pick up the rainwater of the day.

Luckily for them, the rainy season in the Land of Fire was beginning. They wouldn't have to waste any money on water if they utilized their resources intelligently.

"I see Hashirama was here." Kamiko told him as soon as he entered with the bucket of rainwater through the door, Kakuzu grumble quietly in confusion.

Much like him, Kamiko wasn't a rather talkative individual. She merely pointed at the gaudy red jacket the man had taken to wearing because of the rain that pelted them most days.

Kayda was in the kitchen when he returned, kept busy with serving herself from the stir-fry he had made out of most of Hashirama's ingredients. But when she heard the Senju's name, she turned around with a fierce glare on her face.

Kakuzu stopped himself from breathing in with regret.

As he poured some water into the clay bowl, Kayda unleashed her scathing verbal attacks. "That man is not only a disgrace to his clan, but a walking insult to our heritage! I don't care what you think of him, big brother, it is clear that he pities us!" Then she gasped dramatically, "Don't tell me these vegetables were brought here by him! That's charity- we do not need it!"

He didn't want to deal with this.

Kakuzu rose up from the ground, breathed in, and turned his head to the left so Kayda could only see half of his face.

"You are my sisters. I appreciate you and your concerns." He told them, voice taking on a stern edge as he narrowed his eyes. "But do not think that just because you are my sisters, you have any more say within the dealings of this clan than the rest of the kunoichi. I am clan head and I have the final say in matters that directly affect our members."

He had never thought he would be utilizing his power against his sisters. But every single day, it was the same irritated ranting from all of his clan members: "We never should have left the Land of Heaven. This is not our home."

He was sick of it. And he was drained from all of the unfounded hatred his clan members felt for Hashirama Senju.

"Unless you are all willing to prove to me that one of the decisions I have made is deliberately harming our clan, I do not want to hear another word against Konohagakure or the people within."

Kayda had tears within her eyes.

His voice was tight and cold- exactly the voice their father had once used to enforce discipline within his children.

Kamiko was distraught as well, but held more self-control than Kayda and didn't allow any tears to fill her own.

"You are both more than aware of the laws of our clan. The safety and comfort of our people is what matters the most. Prove to me that we would be better off in the Land of Void," upon saying this, Kakuzu wasn't able to keep control of his anger and pain any longer. He ended up growling, in pure anger, "A land where we are still hunted down like animals..."

He stopped himself then.

Both his sisters were completely stunned; quiet in their surprise.

Kakuzu turned back to the clay bowl, then grabbed one of the plates to begin cleaning it.

With a sigh, he finished, "I only want to ensure our family's survival."

They left him alone after this.

~/~

"I am Uzumaki." The red haired woman had a gentle smile on her lips, "Mito Uzumaki."

Hashirama quirked an eyebrow as the woman bowed marginally in greeting to his best friend.

Kakuzu himself seemed equally confused, his eyebrows drawn in as his upper lip pursed slightly outwards.

A curious or confused Kakuzu, Hashirama had learned, was an adorable Kakuzu. Because, as he had learned throughout his life, being a completely competent shinobi with the ability to kill someone in mere seconds with only their bare hands as a weapon did not detract from the level of cuteness that radiated from them. Kakuzu was one such shinobi- even though Hashirama did not dare say this out loud in the fear of the man closing himself off even further.

"... A pleasure to meet you." Kakuzu answered eventually, offering his own bow towards the woman.

She smiled up at him, but that melted into a confused frown the more she focused on his face. "Pardon my forwardness... But I had been under the impression that you would have dark eyes."

"Dark?"

Uzumaki... Hashirama was sure that this name was supposed to have meant something to him.

"Of course. I hope you do not take this as confrontation, but I had been led to believe that you had dark eyes." The woman answered levelly, seeming to keep a serene air around her even as she lost her smile. "As small a lie as it may be, I still consider it something troublesome to have been told your eyes were so ordinary when, in reality, they are rather breathtaking."

Hashirama felt his heart swoon at the scene before him. Clearly, this woman was captivated by Kakuzu. For some reason, she had been led to believe that his eyes were different, but that could simply be attributed to a misunderstanding when someone spoke about the clan the man belonged to.

Kakuzu either did not care about the woman's possible feelings for him... Or just had no idea that they existed..

"Who told you that? Someone has to be blind to mistake my eyes." Kakuzu huffed as he crossed his arms over his chest.

The woman frowned.

Oh no.

"Is your clan's most trusted advisor blind?" The woman asked with a huff of her own, "He was the one to send us the latest communication of your current looks."

Latest communication of your current looks?

Something about this seemed rather odd to Hashirama... Just how did this Mito woman know about Kakuzu and his clan?

Still, Kakuzu didn't seem bothered at all by the oddness of the situation. He scoffed, "This proves that you have no idea who you're talking to. My clan's advisor is blind. I'm not the person you're looking for."

The composed air around the woman was still very clear, but it was also clearly faltering. The woman's eyes narrowed and her cheeks puffed, a tinge of red appearing as she rolled her shoulders and adopted a ramrod straight posture.

"Are you not Hashirama Senju?" She challenged and immediately all of the pieces of the puzzle clicked within Hashirama's mind.

From the way Kakuzu frowned and closed his eyes, it was easy to tell that he had also figured out what had happened.

In the woman's defense, he and Kakuzu might be confused from simple descriptions. They were both remarkably tall individuals, their hair was long and dark, and their skin was tanned from so much time spent in the sun. But there were rather clear to see differences to them that easily separated them; one of them being their eyes.

"Not at all. The giggling buffoon over there is the idiot you're looking for." Kakuzu jutted a thumb in Hashirama's direction and the man wasn't able to contain himself any further.

He fell into a fit of laughter, causing the woman's face to adopt a sharp red color that melted into the red of her hair. As he laughed, he heard Kakuzu grumble about idiots, then, when he opened his eyes, he found Mito Uzumaki staring at him slack-jawed.

"This fool is to be my future husband?" She gasped with clear lament, and Hashirama would have laughed at the absolute absurdity of the situation... if not for the fact that her question knocked all of the air out of his lungs. "That is the remarkable Hashirama Senju?"

~/~

Of course Hashirama Senju had a promised wife. Of course the strongest member of the Senju Clan was to be wed only to a predetermined woman. Of course yet another thing would happen to ruin the tentative peace they had managed to shakily create.

Logically speaking, Kakuzu should have seen this coming. And logically speaking, he should just accept the arranged marriage because there was nothing he could do to change it- for various reasons.

But it hurt.

It hurt and Kakuzu couldn't stop it from hurting, no matter how much he tried to remind himself that Hashirama Senju was not his and was never going to be his either. Relationships between males were not just frowned upon within his clan- they could mean death in certain cases.

He should have seen the arrival of Mito Uzumaki as a blessing. It gave him yet another logical reason to stop yearning for Hashirama Senju. It even gave him a reason to separate himself from the man- Mito and Hashirama would need some time to truly get to know one another before all other preparations between their clans finalized. They needed to make sure that they didn't completely hate each other- apparently one of the parameters put forth by the Uzumaki.

Like a damned fool, Kakuzu didn't listen to reason when it came to Hashirama Senju, not even after his heart had been ripped out of his chest by the announcement of the arranged marriage.

"Tomorrow will be the day we finalize this mountain chain."

He should have listened to Kayda and Kamiko. He should have heeded the concerns of the members of his clan. He should have kept a distance from the head of the Senju clan- they should have only stayed in Konoha temporarily without making plans to make their lives there permanent.

Now Kakuzu was forced to watch Hashirama Senju slowly fall in love with Mito Uzumaki with each passing day... And all he could do was watch from the sidelines, losing a piece of himself every single time Hashirama voiced out his appreciation of the woman.

If only he had been a woman... No. Not even then. If he had been a woman, his clan would never have even reached Konoha. It was a good thing he was a man... or, at least, that's what he tried to tell himself.

"That is absolutely impressive." Mito remarked in that honest yet detached way only a person raised in nobility could muster. "And you are the driving force behind this project, Kakuzu?"

Hashirama, apparently, was a fan of gushing over him to Mito. The woman knew more about him than Kakuzu actually liked.

Kakuzu knew it was stupid to hate the woman. He knew that it wasn't her fault that Hashirama was promised to her. He knew that if it was up to her, she would be back Uzushiogakure, safe from any of her enemies and perfectly happy to have complete control of her destiny. He knew that if the woman had any say in her life, she would never have even contemplated Hashirama as a possible partner when they had first met.

Kakuzu knew this because, much like Hashirama, Mito trusted him. For some reason, he was her biggest confidant within Konohagakure.

In a way, he could understand this. He was the first person she had directly talked to. He was the first person, aside from Hashirama, she had met when she had reached the offices of the leader of Konohagakure. He was the only person outside of the Uzumaki and Senju to know about the arranged nature of her and Hashirama's relationship.

If only he could force himself to leave Hashirama behind... If only that, then he could get away from the pain that Hashirama and Mito caused him within his life. But he wasn't strong enough to do this. So he stayed in a horrible position; seeing Mito and Hashirama mutually compliment each other and slowly fall deeper in love.

"He's impressive, isn't he?" Hashirama breathed out in undisguised marvel, "Konohagakure owes a large debt to him and his clan! I don't think we would have been able to go through with these natural fortifications without them."

Kakuzu closed his eyes and crossed his arms, keeping his face focused in the direction of the chain of mountains the two were talking about. Fortunately for him, whenever they got like this, they would only look at one another. He was able to wallow in his own pain without trying to force enjoyment for a few seconds when this happened.

"I think it says a lot about your own weaknesses that you required the aid of someone outside of your new village for something so important." Mito taunted without any clear edge to her voice, only trying to incite Hashirama for her own enjoyment. She knew he wasn't the sharpest kunai in the pouch- he tended to take things at face value. "But," she continued without letting Hashirama say anything; her voice now adopted a genuine softness, "It is remarkable and impressive to see what you have all worked to accomplish together."

Mito had also admitted to him, at some point, that she considered him slightly more attractive than Hashirama. If she had a say in which clan head she was forced to marry, she would not have necessarily been saddened if he had been the number one choice.

Kakuzu had, of course, been bothered by this confession and had told her so. Mito had merely waved him off, "You offer so much more stimulating conversational topics than Hashirama. He may be cute, but you're much more entertaining. Besides, the strong-quiet type is quite attractive to most women."

There was no need for actual love within an arranged marriage. But for this specific one, there was a need for, at the very least, an amicable relationship.

Luckily for the arrangement, the more time Mito and Hashirama spent together, the more they liked one another. Unfortunately for Kakuzu... it seemed that Mito was here to stay. And even worse yet, both Mito and Hashirama considered him so important in their lives that he wasn't able to get away from them for more than a week without one of them seeking him out in worry.

He knew. He had tried. It had taken Hashirama three days without seeing him to search for him. Mito had waited a week to look for him.

Every single time he saw them together, Kakuzu felt the sorrow within him grow exponentially. But he could do nothing to stop himself from feeling like this. He couldn't even force himself to leave them alone- he valued Hashirama too much to willingly hurt him.

Once upon a time, he hadn't given a shit about what others thought of him. But Hashirama was an exception. And Mito was now an integral part of Hashirama- if she was hurt, then he was hurt. And Kakuzu couldn't hurt her because, in the end, it all just came back to Hashirama.

"Tomorrow, Tobirama and Madara will finally be pleased with all of this hard work." When Kakuzu opened his eyes, it was to find that both of them were looking at him.

Their whole conversation, he had not said a single thing.

With an internal sigh, Kakuzu nodded at them. He kept his face devoid of all emotions- no relief; no pain; nothing.

"Tomorrow must be amazing, then."

Kakuzu loathed every tomorrow. And, in a similar manner, he yearned for the yesterdays that had gone by- yesterdays without Mito; yesterdays where it had only been him and Hashirama that mattered.

He hated himself for being so weak.

~/~

"And the project that has taken us half a year is finally complete!"

Hashirama rushed Kakuzu without a second's hesitation. He grabbed the man and hugged him tightly, praising him for how good a job he had accomplished in the time they had known each other.

Kakuzu, like he always did after exhausting most of his chakra reserves, leaned into him and rejoiced in the hug. Hashirama, in turn, rejoiced in the feeling of the other man's body against him- it wasn't normal for Kakuzu to allow physical contact and Hashirama loved what scraps of it he could get.

All around them, all of the earth-release users they had contracted to aid in the creation of the mountain chain erupted into cheers. Not only had they finished a monumental, virtually inhuman task, they had also ensured extra safety measure for the Village that was to become their home.

Celebrations were called out and in less than an hour, all of those that had worked on the mountain chain project were within the Akimichi clan compound, where food and drink was ample. Hashirama spent most of his time latched onto Kakuzu, proud of the fact that if it hadn't been for him believing in Kakuzu, then none of this would have been possible from the beginning. But at one point, his great friend was called up by his clan members.

When this happened, Mito found her way to him and they began to speak about possible accommodations for the honeymoon they wished to take part in after their marriage- they were even thinking about asking their closest friends to accompany them so it would be a joint vacation for those that had worked hard in the past year.

Kakuzu, of course, was at the top of Hashirama's mind for such a plan- much like Madara and Tobirama.

"I'm extremely sure that my sister would like Kakuzu, Hashirama. I mean, I've told you before-"

Hashirama rolled his eyes as Mito took a sip of her wine, accompanied with a sly shrug of her shoulders.

"Yes, I know, Mito. Kakuzu would have been your first choice," he soon laughed, shaking his head. "Unfortunately for you, Lady Hokage, you're now stuck with me."

The Uzumaki scrunched up her nose, "I hate that title. It sounds atrocious. And certainly makes it seem as if you do not believe a woman could actually be the leader of your nation."

Hashirama froze at the clear jab, "Uh..." but wasn't able to come up with an answer.

Mito merely scoffed and shook her head, then mumbled about idiotic Senju.

Hashirama offered an apologetic smile, then looked over in the direction Kakuzu had left in. He found the man standing in front of his blind advisor, Yuu… And Hashirama was put on high alert as soon as he noticed the weariness that was now etched onto the other man's face.

Quickly, he excused himself from Mito and walked towards Kakuzu. Once he was near the man, he voiced his arrival and worry, "Is everything alright?"

Yuu was a strong man; old, but dangerous. In a way, he sometimes reminded Hashirama of his own father. But Yuu was nearing an old age his father had never managed- his hair was almost completely gray at this point and wrinkles were beginning to take over his face.

"Great news, Lord Hokage."

He still hadn't completely internalized the fact that he was the leader of a nation of shinobi. He joked about it, sure, but... well, it was still astonishing to him that he had been voted to lead a Hidden Village at such a young age. And he was even more surprised when those older than him utilized such a respectful title when referring to him.

"The Land of Heaven has contacted our clan to begin construction of a Hidden Village of our own. I was simply informing our clan head of this joyous information." Yuu spoke calmly, but there was a subtle venom to his voice that left Hashirama with a bad taste in his mouth. "Not only will the Etō be able to return to our home, but we will also be able to promise an alliance with your Village once we have constructed our own."

Hashirama stopped looking at him when he finished his first sentence. Instead he turned his gaze onto Kakuzu, noticing the stiffness of his whole body and the harshness to his eyes.

"Kakuzu... Are you-"

"Of course he is pleased to hear such good news." Yuu interrupted, "This means that he will be able to continue leading his family within our rightful home. Our troubles in the Land of Heaven have been terminated- there is no need for us to remain as refugees within your village. And as a leader of the Hidden Village project, he will be able to keep a close connection with the land that helped us in our time of need."

After he finished saying this, Yuu bowed slightly at Kakuzu, "Your leadership certainly has helped our clan prosper in these treacherous times. You should be proud of yourself."

After saying this, the elder left them.

All around them, the party continued in full swing. No one bothered them, much too caught up in their own happiness to even wonder why the ever happy Hashirama Senju currently wore a devastated frown on his face.

"Kakuzu..." He tried yet again, this time lifting his arm to place his hand on the older man's shoulder.

Kakuzu closed his eyes and breathed out, "Not once..." His voice was strained- Hashirama's heart tore. "Not once have they called this village theirs. They consider themselves outsiders and never even tried to make Konohagakure their home- this was always temporary in their eyes."

Ever since the day Kakuzu had confided in him about his lack of preparation for the role of clan head, Hashirama had not seen the other man so vulnerable- in so much pain.

At that moment, he felt the impulse to wrap the man up in his arms and never let go. At that moment, he wanted to proclaim to Kakuzu that no one would make him leave his new home- he would kidnap him and keep him locked away from his family if it was necessary. At that moment... At that moment, Hashirama wanted nothing more than to keep Kakuzu forever by his side.

Why... Why did he feel like this? Why were tears springing up in his eyes at the very thought of Kakuzu leaving him? Why did he feel like this was where his happiness ended?

Why did the thought of Kakuzu leaving hurt so much?

With a clear of his throat, Kakuzu grabbed Hashirama's attention once more.

Not once did the man look at him.

"We leave in the morning." he cleared his throat yet again- could it have been because he was fighting back tears, much like Hashirama himself? "I guess... I guess this is goodbye, Hashirama."

Hashirama wanted- no, he needed Kakuzu to stay in Konoha.

"They can't do this, Kakuzu. This is your ho-"

Kakuzu grabbed him by the arm, yanking him swiftly away from the rest of the party. Even with the tight grip that would undoubtedly leave a bruise on Hashirama's upper arm, he did not fight Kakuzu off.

When they were outside of the Akimichi home, they were met with a darkened sky. Thunder broke out- a soft drizzle began a few seconds after they had stepped out.

"Believe me, Hashirama Senju, when I say that I would give everything to stay in Konoha." Kakuzu was still looking away from him, now at the night sky.

Hashirama tried to ask him why he had to leave; but Kakuzu interrupted him yet again.

"If it were up to me... If it were up to me, I would never go back to the Land of Void. I would never even help create a Hidden Village there- no matter if I were to go back to create it or not. If it were up to me, I would stay in Konohagakure and live the life I've created for myself here..." Now Kakuzu sighed, falling silent.

Hashirama noticed that Kakuzu wouldn't speak again, so he decided to speak now. "Then... Then why don't you stay?"

Kakuzu lowered his head- was that a tear falling down his cheek. "Because I can't."

~/~

Leaving Konohagakure was the worst mistake of his life. Not just because he did the one thing he had never wanted to do... it wasn't just because he hurt Hashirama...

It was the worst mistake of his life because he left the only home he had ever managed to find.

~/~

Hashirama cried the day Kakuzu left Konohagakure with the rest of his clan. He cried every single day for the rest of the week. And even months later, after he had thought he had gotten over his great friend's departure... If he thought of him, he still chanced the risk of crying over the leaving of his great friend.

Konohagakure just didn't feel like home without Kakuzu.

..~..~..

So, it took more than a month, but here is the second chapter of this three-shot! I hope you all enjoyed the sweet-sweet angst! And I hope you're ready for yet another chapter of pure angst- it's only going to get worse before it gets any better!

Please review and tell me what y all thought.