Chapter 36: Kalm Skies
Cloud stared at the horizon with a frown permanently glued to his face. They had chartered a boat back to the Eastern Continent, moving in the night and staying off any radars as they got closer and closer to Midgar. They had commandeered a truck at Junon and had been making their way on the backroads since. The air had started to get thicker, reeking of pollution and mako as the lights grew brighter in the distance. They would be able to make out headquarters soon.
He was happy to be out, elated for his freedom—for Zack's freedom. They were in Reno's debt for putting this together. Maybe his friend really did still care? …Maybe he was just doing it under Rufus' bidding? His life had taken too many wrong turns to trust that this actually meant his freedom. Why would it? Rufus had just learned what he could do with Hojo's implanted abilities. He was worth a fortune. …Shinra would never stop hunting them.
"Hey…" Cloud's eyes snapped over to Zack at the word, glancing down as his mate entwined their hands. "Are you okay? You're making me anxious through the bond."
Cloud's brows knitted at those words, guilt filling him as he didn't want to put any more stress on the alpha. "I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention." He was letting out too much of the mess that was his psyche.
Zack shook his head. "No, babe." He reached out, pulling him close. "I wasn't chastising. I just wanted to ask what was wrong?" He seemed to think about it, shrugging his shoulders. "Besides everything in our lives that is."
He hesitated, knowing already how this was going to be taken, but not able to help himself as he twisted his fingers in the front of Zack's sweater. "You should go without me." He knew he was right when he saw the frown. "I'm going to be a target on your back for as long as you keep me."
"Keep you?" Zack questioned, frown still firm on his face. "You're my partner—not my pet. You're not a burden to me, and I don't care if us being together puts me in danger. I would never leave you behind."
Cloud crawled forward, straddling Zack as he hugged him tight. "I've never deserved you. Ever."
Laughing, Zack's arms wrapped tight around him as their eyes locked. "I mean…you are kind of a pain in the ass."
Rolling his eyes, Cloud smacked him playfully, fingers splaying through those dark spikes. "Could always trade me in for a newer model?"
"And miss all the excitement that comes from being with you? Never." Zack reached over, pulling the window open on the back of the truck. "How close are we to Kalm? We need to stock up before we get to Midgar and get disguises."
"About an hour or so," Genesis answered, glancing back at them. "Do I get to pick the disguises?"
Kadaj laughed at the prospect. "I wouldn't…you should see what he makes me wear sometimes."
Zack chuckled at that, shaking his head as he shut the window between them, hands once coming to surround Cloud's waist. "Let's just chalk that up to something I never needed to know about their sex life."
Cloud stared fondly up towards the front, seeing the way Genesis leaned over to whisper in Kadaj's ear—delicately kissing his cheek. "At least one good thing came from going to the reactor." His eyes clouded as he remembered the moment on those steps when he had kissed Zack and ensured he would lose Sephiroth forever.
He had been such a stupid kid back then.
"It wouldn't have helped, you know?" Sephiroth assured him, sitting right next to Zack in the truck as he reached over to swipe the bangs out of Cloud's eyes. "It was always going to happen. By the time you stepped into the reactor I had already made my decision about the creature inside of you. Compared to infanticide, infidelity was never going to make that much of a difference."
His entire body shuddered in agony, hands curling around his torso as he turned away from the monster who had taken everything from him and buried his face in Zack's chest instead. Tears poured down his eyes as his body shook in realization.
"Darling, don't cry," Sephiroth spoke, and Cloud felt revulsion as familiar hands traced up his back. "I never wanted to hurt you. Someday you'll understand I had to do what I did. The boy would have been death incarnate."
"Cloud?" Zack asked, and he could feel worry radiating through their bond as arms tightened around him. "Talk to me. What's going on?"
Cloud forced himself to lift up his head, hating the way Zack's face took on a look of pity at seeing his sadness. "I'm sorry. I'm okay now…I just…I don't want to go back there."
Zack flinched at that, forehead wrinkled in worry. "Spike…I can't leave you in Kalm by yourself. I won't. I just got you back…and this may be instinct, but I'd kill anyone right now that tried to separate us again."
He nodded, more guilt pouring through him at the statement as he sobbed. Zack was tied to him now. He was tied to a defective omega that was still in love with a figment of his imagination. Zack had given up everything for him. He had given up five years of his life for a lie. He didn't know what broken pathetic specimen he was buying when he bit him.
Zack whined as Cloud couldn't stop crying, emitting his agony through their bond as Cloud couldn't block it. He couldn't think of anything besides his guilt. He couldn't focus on anything besides his loss.
"Sshhh Sshhhh," Sephiroth cooed in his ear, rubbing at his back even as Zack kept his face and stared on in desperation. "Precious, he doesn't know why you're upset. You have to calm down. You're not doing anything wrong by talking to me. No one can see me but you."
The window was yanked open as Genesis' face popped back. "Do I need to pull over? Is he okay?"
"I'm okay," Cloud answered, dragging his sleeve across his eyes as he wiped at his own blubbering mess. "I'm sorry. I—I was…" His hands tightened around his middle. "I was thinking about the baby." He saw the uncomfortableness on Genesis' face, and the way Zack's worried eyes softened. "It was stupid. I'm sorry…I should be over it."
Zack let out a shaky sigh, pulling his head down to his shoulder as he held him close. Cloud heard the window shut signaling the other SOLDIER's departure. "Spike, listen to me. You never have to apologize for being sad about that. In fact, you never have to apologize for being sad about any of the fucked up things that have happened to you in your life." Cloud's eyes shut in content as lips pressed to his head. "I don't know how you're even a coherent functioning person—I wouldn't be. You can process things however you need to, and I'll be here for you. I love you, baby. I love you so much…and I just wish I could make it better for you."
"You do," Cloud informed him, not willing to pull away yet as Zack's scent was lulling him into a calm.
But he didn't deserve it.
Zack deserved so much better than him.
They stayed like that, nestled into each other as the smell of mako just continued to get stronger as they drove. "You know. Reno will be in Midgar."
"Yeah," Zack agreed, fingers carding through his spikes as he tilted his head back enough to look down into his eyes. "Are you excited to see him?"
"Are you?" Cloud asked, trying to keep the seething jealousy out of his tone as his eyes flickered across the SOLDIER's face for any sign of longing.
"Yes," Zack answered, and Cloud frowned at the admission, causing the alpha to arch a brow. "He was my friend? Plus, he saved us. I want to thank him."
"With your cock?" Cloud asked, the words leaving him before he could help himself as he heard Sephiroth begin to laugh.
Zack blinked at him, staring dumbfounded at him as he clearly tried to register the words. "Excuse me?" He gripped the side of the truck as Kadaj made a sharp turn, parking on the edge of the town. Cloud pulled away, glancing towards the well lit village in wonder as it had been years since he had seen it. Zack grabbed his chin, yanking it back to his angry face. "What did you say to me?"
Cloud exhaled, feeling too numb from his tears to feel anything but irrational jealousy. "You should get me a red wig for a disguise. I can dress up for you just like Kadaj does for Gen. I'm not good for much else after all."
"Cloud…" His alpha started, using his actual name as his voice was shaking with thinly veiled anger. "What are you—"
"Reno told me you fucked him," Cloud spoke hollowly. "He was in love with you, you know? That's why he was at the reactor. Rufus had me pry it out of him because the experiments made me strong enough to control Turks. So you see…you should leave me. You can fuck him again…and I won't hurt you anymore."
Sephiroth was still laughing as Zack's eyes turned molten in his anger. He leaned in, kissing Cloud's cheek. "You're so perfect. My perfectly cruel omega." Cloud batted at his ex-mate, standing up warily now that the truck had stopped while Zack did the same.
Zack's chest was vibrating with a growl, fists clenched at his side as he seemed to be debating just what he was going to say to the jealous lunacy that had just escaped Cloud's mouth "You don't have a right to be angry about it. Not a sliver of a right. I was going to tell you, because it would have been the right thing to do, but we weren't together."
"He was my best friend, and you fucked him," Cloud managed, not able to get the image of them together out of his head.
"I guess now you know how it feels," Zack managed, teeth bared. "But guess what, Spike? Even if you're pissed at me…you're still coming with me to Midgar." He leaned down, grabbing for the scratchy blanket they had been sleeping under the last few nights as he tossed it to him. "Put that over your head and don't leave the back of this truck under any circumstances." Zack walked forward on the truck bed, grabbing roughly for his chin as he dragged his face up to meet his. "And I mean it. I'll be back as soon as I can with supplies."
Cloud glared at him at the bossy demands, meeting Zack's anger with his own. "Yes, Alpha…" He purred sarcastically. "I'll be obedient for you."
Zack bared his teeth at him in frustration, turning stiffly as he jumped out of the truck to walk with his fists clenched towards where Genesis and Kadaj were. "I forgot how much of a little asshole he can be. Sorry you guys had to see that. Let's just get this over with."
"Do you want me to stay with him?" Kadaj questioned, looking between Genesis and Zack as Cloud sank to the truck bed and covered his head with the blanket as they talked about him like he was some petulant bratty child.
"No," Zack answered. "He needs time to cool off. Let's just go."
Cloud glanced out of his self made cocoon, seeing the three walk towards the streetlight lit town as they moved under darkness. He felt so stupid for lashing out like that. Zack had to think he was such a brat. He didn't want Zack to leave—even if he should for his own good. He had just been so sad, and the only way to drag himself out of the depression was with unfounded anger—after all, Zack was right, he didn't have a leg to stand on when it came to infidelity.
"He'll get used to your fits," Sephiroth assured him, sliding close to Cloud as a body pressed to his side. "I did."
"No you didn't," Cloud argued, wrapping his arms around his knees as he drew them up to his chin. "You were mad at me all the time."
"Not all the time," Sephiroth assured him. "Most of the time I was positively crazy for you."
"You certainly were crazy," Cloud agreed. "Do you think if you had been with someone like Kadaj that you would have lost it like you did?" Did he drive him to it completely? Would he drive Zack just as crazy?
Sephiroth laughed at the assumption. "You're the only one for me. Those others aren't worthy. They're not true Ancients."
Cloud flinched at the words, turning his head to the side to look betrayed at Sephiroth. "You loved me because I was an Ancient?"
"Probably," Sephiroth admitted. "It's not the only reason though."
"Don't come here anymore," Cloud commanded, not about to admit how much it hurt to hear Sephiroth admit to why he had pursued him. "It's confusing. I'm out of that place. I don't need you anymore."
"I'm not your imaginary friend you can just wish away, Cloud," Sephiroth spoke dangerously. "I will always be with you. You're mine."
"You're not real," Cloud argued with his madness. "And I don't belong to you anymore. I don't love you either, Sephiroth. You were just an assignment."
"Careful, my love," Sephiroth warned. "I won't be as nice to you as he was with your temper tantrum."
"You're not real!" Cloud screamed, not about to be scolded by a figment of his fucked up imagination.
His knees were ripped apart as Sephiroth pushed between them, and Cloud's heart began to race as he saw the way Sephiroth's eyes were slitted with madness as he was inches away. "I will be." His eyes widened at the threat, not able to react as lips pressed to his own, a hand enclosing around his neck as a thumb dug into his windpipe. "I'll be seeing you soon, Cloud. I promise you that."
Cloud winced, grabbing for his neck as his mating scar burned hot as Sephiroth disappeared. His eyes were wide as saucers, fingers tracing over his neck where Sephiroth had squeezed. It felt bruised. It felt real. But it couldn't be real. This was just more of his psychosis.
Sephiroth was dead.
….Wasn't he?
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A.N- An update! I'm sorry it was so short, but that seemed like a good cutting off point before Cloud and Zack get back to Midgar. I hope you are still enjoying reading, and I promise to update more frequently. Thanks for not abandoning…and I hope you enjoyed the emotional angst that was their ride back to Midgar.