Author's note: CW for unconscious self-harm (scratching self without thinking about it)

-x-

The next couple of days passed by without much incident, other than meeting with Jean-Marie on Monday evening. That went… well, Remus wasn't sure how it went, but he felt he made Jean-Marie angry or at least annoyed. It started when Remus gave his condolences for his loss and Jean-Marie seemed bewildered. Remus muttered that he knew Professor Charlemagne's sister had passed away. Jean-Marie snorted and shook his curls.

"Yes, my Grand-mère," he confirmed. "What is the English word for what you said? The word?"

"Erm, condolences…"

Jean-Marie waved his hand. "No condolences needed. Je suis content qu'elle soit morte." Remus reeled at those words. I'm glad she's dead. "I hated her," Jean-Marie explained, noticing the shocked look on Remus's face. "She hated me. And Oncle Sylvain, too. I do not know why he went. It is not as if she would have… wanted him there. He is too… what is the word…" He thumped his chest. "Here, he is too much here. Heart."

"Soft-hearted?" Remus suggested, wishing he could disappear into a hole.

"Ha! Soft of heart, that is good." Jean-Marie grinned. "Yes, that. He should not have gone but he is too softhearted. She was a horrible, horrible woman. Full of hate. She does not deserve condolences. I don't either, for it isn't a loss for me at all. I don't wish to speak anymore of that… hmmm… cunt? Is that the right word?"

Remus choked a little. "I—I—I—I—"

"Let's work," Jean-Marie said, and didn't say another word on the matter; however, he smelled quite angry for the rest of their session, and didn't argue when Remus wanted to end it sooner than usual.

On Tuesday—a week after the incident—Lily and Remus spent some time alone together. Remus intended to talk to her about things—to ask her things… however he chickened out and they spent the entire time talking about other stuff. Mostly the upcoming concert, which Lily was very excited for. Apparently she and the other two girls were making special earrings for the event, and she said she was going to change her hair specifically for the concert.

"I'll have to do my best by myself, since I'll have to do it right before the concert so nobody notices the change," she said, wriggling excitedly. "I hope it turns out all right."

Then it was time for Occlumency. Remus went to the room, heart and stomach sinking into his feet. Fawley said she'd leave any memories of him and Lily alone; however what if the memory started when he said he thought he was—was—that word? What if she heard? Or heard Lily ask if it was Sirius? Or that Lily liked girls?

How am I supposed to keep this a secret? he wondered as he sank onto the purple sofa, vaguely answering Fawley's questions about how he was doing, assuring her he was doing better than he was last week.

"You sound better," she said. "Have you been getting plenty of sleep?"

"… no," he replied honestly. "Not as much as I should have. Erm. Do-do you remember what we talked about last week?"

"About any memory with Lily in it?" she inquired.

"Yes…"

"Yes, of course I remember. I'll do my best."

Remus wiped his sweaty hands off on his trousers before confirming that he was ready for their lesson. Of course the first memory they jumped into was the incident. Lily and Remus in the room, Remus frozen by the door. Before anything was said, they were torn out of the memory. Except the next attempt was the same memory, and the third one was the two of them clinging to each other as Remus sobbed.

"Remus?" Miss Fawley asked when she left that memory. "What is going on? Don't 'nothing' me." She leaned forward, face as stony as a statue. "Did she find out you're a werewolf?"

He shook his head wildly, glad that that's what Fawley was assuming and not anything else. "No, she—she has no idea," he promised. "It's something else. Please, Miss Fawley, it's—it's not—it's—it's not something—it—I don't want to talk about it, or you to see it. Please."

"All right," she said dubiously. "But if something serious is going on, you can trust me. I haven't told Albus that the other boys know—"

"I know." He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling like he was betraying her. "I trust you. But this involves Lily too."

She slowly nodded, sitting back upright. "Very well."

They tried multiple times, even taking short breaks between a couple of attempts, but it was all the same: Lily and Remus alone. On their fifth break about halfway through the session, Fawley sat back with her fingertips pressed against her own temples. Remus waited in silence, hoping she wouldn't say it was futile to continue like this. Hoping she wouldn't demand to know what was going on.

"Obviously whatever happened is very much so on your mind," she finally said, letting her hands drop. "Do you think this is something that will pass over time?"

Remus fidgeted, tucking his hands under his thighs. He hoped he'd stop obsessing over it, stop worrying, stop overthinking. "I don't know," he said honestly. "I—all I can do is hope."

Fawley splayed her fingertips across her skirt, tapping her thighs as she figured out the next thing she wanted to say. Then, "Is this something that could put Miss Evans in danger?"

"No."

"Remus."

He swallowed, ducking his head. "I promise, on—on the Marauders I promise." He immediately regretted his words because if it got out that Lily liked girls like that then she could very well be in danger. But that wasn't what Fawley meant.

Fawley fell into silence again, blinking slowly. "She can't know you take Occlumency. That will raise suspicion. But… it might be prudent for me to know what's going on, if this continues. You could say that your father is an Occlumens and wishes you to learn. Do you think she'd believe that? If she wants to meet me—"

"You can't know!" Remus blurted out, jumping to his feet. "You can't!"

"I may need to."

"No. No!"

Fawley stood as well, one hand clasped tightly around her cane. "Your lessons are far too important to abandon them due to a childhood secret—"

"No! It's not like that, it's—it's more than that." He tugged hard at the hem of his shirt, heat prickling across his skin.

Fawley tilted her head. "I'm going to ask you something very personal. Probably embarrassing for you. But know I will not judge you if your answer is yes, even though I doubt this is the truth. You're far too young."

Remus felt his insides turning to ash. She was going to ask if he was like that. She suspected, she figured it out, she knew, she thought—

"Did you and Lily… share… intimacy?"

Remus furrowed his brow at the very unexpected question. "What?" he asked, not understanding what she meant. Intimacy? Kissing? She already knew they had kissed last winter. Why would she ask that when she—

Oh.

Oh.

"NO!" he screamed, staggering back. "No! Oh, God, no! No! No! That—we—why—why—why—"

"I'm sorry, I didn't think that was the case but with the way you're acting—"

"NO! I would NEVER!"

Fawley reached out her free hand. "I am sorry—"

"That is DISGUSTING! And—and you're right, I'm—I'm too young! I'm only thirteen!" Except he knew some people did that at that age. Sirius had mentioned his grandparents had become parents while they were still in the early years of Hogwarts; while he didn't say which year, the way he spoke indicated it was before their fifth year.

Her hand clasped his shoulder. "I'm sorry," she said again, squeezing. "I didn't think you did. I'm just worried about what's going on."

If you didn't think I did, why did you ask? he thought rather bitterly; it felt like acid inside of him, burning everything at Fawley's question. At the possibility she'd think he would have done that!

"Lily told me a secret," he said through gritted teeth. "Her secret."

"Whatever it is is preying on your mind more than I'd expect from someone else's secret, unless it is something bad," Fawley said bluntly. "I'm not trying to pry. But if this is going to affect your lessons… if it's going to be where I cannot enter any memory—"

"You can enter my head. Just—just—"

"Just not with the memories that are at the forefront of your mind right now," she pointed out. "Will these memories be as prevalent over time as they are now?"

Remus was silent, unable to answer.

Fawley sat back down. "I want to give you as much privacy as I can, my dear. I don't want to put myself into every aspect of your life, or have you think you have nothing for yourself. However… if you do wish to learn Occlumency… there are some things you won't be able to keep from me. For now, let's try specifically going into other memories."

Remus slowly sank back down next to her, hands shaking a little. He wouldn't be able to keep this a secret from her, would he? He stared up at her face, wondering how she'd feel. What she would think if she knew. He closed his eyes as her fingertips brushed against his head, and immediately they were back in the room with Lily. This time the memory shifted, forcing itself to a different one. Images flipped by as Fawley tried to get away from the previous week, and Remus tried to focus on kicking her out of his head.

He couldn't this time. It was too much. All he could think about was his secret, and his brain kept trying to yank them back to that point in time. He felt pressure building up inside his skull as Fawley kept pushing away and he kept pulling back.

Remus tried his best to help. He thought about his schoolwork, his lessons, even the Marauders promising to help the girls sneak in. But it kept going back to that moment until Fawley let go.

Neither of them said anything. Remus slumped down, covering his face, knowing that if this didn't get better he'd have to tell her. Otherwise…

"We could try again next week," he said faintly.

Fawley pressed her lips into a thin line, resembling McGonagall a bit. "How long are we going to give it?" He didn't answer. "I think perhaps it is best if you talk to Lily about—"

"It's not Lily's secret," he blurted out. "It's… it—it's mine."

Her expression softened. "I suspected it was."

"She did tell me a secret about herself," he said, rocking back and forth, "but mostly it's mine that I d-don't want you to… to…"

He wanted to tell her, to spill everything out. To give up. But if he gave up something so deep and secret this easily, how could he stand pressure from, say, the Ministry? Would he buckle so easily if a werewolf hunter began questioning him? Miss Fawley is different, she's someone I care about, I admire, who cares about me…

Fawley reached for his hands, cupping them in hers. "Dear Remus, if you don't want to tell me you don't have to. But I do want you to think about what I said. The link between teacher and student in Occlumency is a very… difficult one, because there is a lot of trust needed. I know it's painful and hard to trust someone so completely, to put your most private moments in their hands. Please… please know that I will never judge you for anything. Nor will I tell any secret you tell me, or that I discover through your memories." She tightened her hold on his hands. "Nor will I push you to say anything you don't want to. And if you… truly want to quit Occlumency, I understand."

Quit Occlumency.

No, he couldn't give up Occlumency. He didn't want to disappoint anyone, didn't want to lose Miss Fawley, and he truly wanted (and needed) to learn this talent in case he ran across someone nasty who jumped into his head without any warning.

Was this secret worth losing that? If he didn't learn Occlumency now, there was a faint chance it could lead to his discovery and possible demise. Could lead to his parents or the Marauders going to Azkaban for helping hide a werewolf. Should he risk that, to keep a secret that would never even matter since he couldn't ever be with anyone?

Was… liking boys so bad that simply being like that was disgusting, if he never acted on it? He'd never kiss a boy, or hold hands, or—or date. If Miss Fawley knew it would never amount to anything, perhaps she'd be less horrified.

A week ago I was trying to get rid of this, and now Lily knows and I'm considering telling Miss Fawley. He began rocking again, wanting to chew at his nails or pull at his shirt but unable to because Fawley still held onto his hands. What next? The Marauders? His parents? If this snowball kept going it'd grow to where everyone would see it, everyone would know.

But… again, giving up Occlumency?

It can't keep going like this, he thought, chewing now at his lip. Eventually my brain will stop obsessing about that moment and we'll be able to go through my memories again properly.

"N-next week," he forced out.

"Pardon?"

He swallowed. "If it's n-not better by n-next week I—I'll—I'll t-tell—I'll—we—you—I'll—tell." That's all he could get out, and he stopped trying.

Fawley slowly nodded, releasing his hands which jerked back, his right hand immediately going to his left sleeve. Instead of pulling, though, he slipped his fingers inside and began scratching which was distracting enough to stop from crying.

"All right." She put her hand against his face, pressing her palm against his cheek. "I think we'll stop for tonight. I don't want to try to go into the memory of you being bit. Tell James and Peter to come in, and next week… well, we'll find out next week how things are."

Then she leaned forward and kissed his forehead.

-x-

Remus woke up with a scream, nearly headbutting Sirius who was standing over him. Literally. For a few bizarre seconds he wondered why Sirius was standing on his bed, then he realized that he was on the floor. Everyone else was out of bed too, and Peter was turning the main light on.

"I thought this wasn't supposed to happen," complained Spinnet.

Sirius crouched down. "Remus?"

Remus panted, trying to remember what happened. Nightmares… well, obviously nightmares. Him telling Fawley, her telling Dumbledore, and then there was an execution that didn't work because he was a werewolf so everyone found out he was also a werewolf—that's about all he remembered.

But why was he on the floor?

"I—… I don't know what happened?"

Sirius pulled him up by the arm. "You fell out," he explained, helping Remus sit back on his bed after pushing the curtains aside. "I heard you tossing and mumbling in your sleep and when I came over to see if you were okay, you rolled out of bed."

"If he's going to start that, what are we supposed to do about sleep?" Spinnet demanded.

"Why don't you go throw a bunch of ingredients together and test it out to see if it's poison," James spat out.

"I'm sorry." Remus slumped down, putting his face in his hands.

"We should probably talk to McGonagall again," Spinnet continued, ignoring them.

Sirius slid an arm around Remus. "It's not your fault, it's never your fault. You don't choose to have nightmares." He said the last part in a firm voice, aiming it more towards Spinnet.

"Besides, you don't do it every night," Peter pointed out. "Or even week, or month. It's not like you're waking us up a lot."

"It's still annoying," grumbled Spinnet.

"So are you," Sirius replied immediately. "Don't see us complaining to McGonagall about it though, do you?"

Spinnet growled then threw his hands up. "You know what? It doesn't matter. Four against two anyway. Doesn't matter what Dave and I think, does it?"

"It matters, of course," James said, straightening up. "It isn't four against two, Spinnet. We're dormmates. All six of us. We should have a little compassion when something like this happens."

"You? James Potter?" Spinnet began laughing. "Don't you start prattling on about compassion! I doubt that's even in your dictionary!"

"S'definitely not in yours," Peter mumbled.

James approached Spinnet, standing at full height. "Go back to bed."

Spinnet folded his arms. "You telling me what to do?"

"It's better than standing here being rude to us."

Spinnet narrowed his eyes, having a stare down with James. "You're one to talk about being rude," he sneered, unfolding his arms. "If he wakes me up again…" He let the threat dangle in the air before storming back to his bed, jerking the curtains shut.

David, like usual, didn't put himself into the argument and simply went back to bed as well. A flash of irritation went through Remus which he squashed down.

"I'm all right," Remus told his friends. "I'm sorry."

"Don't need to be sorry," Peter said.

"Do…" Sirius trailed off, tilting his head, giving Remus a look. "Should I…"

He tried his best not to cringe at the thought of Sirius being in his bed tonight of all nights. "No, I'll be fine. Thank you."

James and Peter slowly headed to bed, and finally so did Sirius. Remus untwisted his covers and curled up, pressing his fists against the sides of his head as he begged his brain not to give him any more nightmares like that. Causing problems for Sirius was one thing, causing them for the whole dorm was another and one he didn't want to start up again.

-x-

Remus was tired in the morning since he hadn't gotten much sleep, and he felt more tired in Potions when Slughorn announced they'd be working on another partnered potion, and this time Slughorn would be pairing everyone off. Everyone groaned at that and began giving each other side eyes, the Gryffindors and Slytherins hoping they'd be partnered within their own house.

Slughorn began pairing off Gryffindors with Slytherins. There was the same amount in both houses, so every Gryffindor had a Slytherin partner. Thank Merlin that Snape was partnered up with Spinnet, which made the Marauders snicker. Remus covered his mouth, trying not to laugh.

"Maybe they'll murder one another," James whispered.

"Miss Urswick with Mr. Potter," Slughorn said.

James groaned. "Bloody hell." He glared over at the girl who glared right back.

"Mr. Black with Mr. Avery."

"Fuck," Sirius hissed out, and his hand shot up at the same time as Avery's.

"No, I will not be changing partners," Slughorn said, not even looking up. "Miss Evans with Mr. Mulciber."

"He'll kill her!" Remus whispered, horrified. Lily's face paled a little, and even Snape looked upset.

Sirius wasn't as quiet as Remus. He twisted in his seat to look at Mulciber. "If you touch a hair on her head, you'll regret it."

"Mr. Black, please be quiet," Slughorn said.

"Like I'd ever touch a Mudblood," Mulciber replied haughtily.

Maybe Snape will threaten him too, Remus thought, squirming a little in his seat. He glanced at Lily again, and somehow she was even whiter than she was before. Her hands were curled into fists. Was Slughorn that stupid?

"Mr. Silverlocke with Mr. Pettigrew."

Remus jumped a little at that, both happy for Peter and also jealous. Peter and Aegis were both smiling at each other, both of them visibly relieved.

"Miss Alexander with Mr. Lupin."

Remus breathed out a little. He didn't think Alexander liked him that well, but she was friends with Aegis, so hopefully it wouldn't be too horrible. Once Slughorn finished pairing everyone off, he had everyone join their partners. There was a little bit of a commotion as students tried to figure out where to go, and Remus went straight for Lily. There was room for four students at each table and he intended on staying by her side to protect her. Alexander rolled her eyes but went over.

Mulciber didn't look happy at any of them. Avery hadn't moved either, and Sirius was nearby.

"Bugger off, Loopy," Avery said. "I'm staying here."

Remus opened his mouth to argue but Sirius caught his eye. "I'll protect her," he promised.

"I don't need protecting!" Lily argued, though didn't sound too sure as both Mulciber and Avery were grinning.

"Come on, Loo—er, Lupin," Alexander said and went over to where Peter and Aegis were settling. Remus gave both his friends another look before joining his partner at their table.

Slughorn looked around the room as everyone took their seats, then he smiled. "Now, the potion you'll be making will take a few of our lessons. Not only will you be graded on making the potion… but also on how well you work with your partner." More groans and Mulciber said it was unfair. "You won't get your choice of partner at work, most likely," Slughorn pointed out. "You must learn to work together with whomever your boss puts you with."

"I plan on being self-employed," Mulciber said. "Especially if taking a Ministry job means working with Mudbloods."

"Mr. Mulciber, please do not use language like that in class," Slughorn chided. "Two points from Slytherin."

Remus got his book out while Alexander began pulling out ingredients. She frowned at him as he flipped to the correct page. "Aren't you terrible in this class?"

He felt himself blushing. "Themis," Aegis said softly, "that's a little rude."

"Not when it's my grade," she grumbled, but didn't say anything else about it.

Working with Alexander was… different. She was rather stiff and standoffish, and Remus's stuttering grew bad enough that Peter kept giving him anxious looks. She wasn't terrific at Potions, so they struggled to make their potion match Peter and Aegis's potion. Remus tried to do what Peter was doing, but Peter was very confident making potions and was swift with his movements, so it didn't take long for Remus to lag behind.

Nor did Alexander want to do what Remus normally did, which was him reading from the book and occasionally chopping or crushing ingredients while his partner actually worked on the potion.

"I am not doing all the work," she snapped when he suggested this.

"All r-r-right, I—"

"I thought you liked school," she continued, face pinched up. "But you're acting lazy."

Remus felt that strike his heart. Lazy? Was he being lazy at potions? "N-n-n-no," he somehow managed to get out. "I—I j-just want—want—I just want—I—I want—" He couldn't find the words and kept tripping over the same ones, causing Alexander to give a groan of disgust.

"What did you say to him?" Peter demanded protectively.

Aegis, however, had heard. "He prefers doing it that way, as he does not wish to accidentally make the potion worse and therefore giving his partner a poorer grade."

Alexander snatched the book from Remus's hand. "I'd rather get a poor grade than have a lazy partner."

"Themis," Aegis said softly.

"Aegis," she responded, jaw jutting out. "I don't care if that sounds mean. I'm not a house-elf."

"He's not lazy," Peter growled.

"He's only trying to help," added Aegis.

Alexander slammed her book down on the table. "Fine. I don't want everyone ganging up against me—"

"I'm not trying—"

"I'll do all the blasted work!"

"No," Remus wheezed out. "No, no, I—I'm s-s-sorry, I won't—I—Aegis is r-r-right, that's wh-why I always do it th-this way. I d-d-don't mind doing the wo—wor-work. When I'm by my—mys—my—when I'm by myself I d-d-do it anyhow."

Theirs wasn't the only noisy table; most the pairs were arguing in some form. Remus flinched at the angry whispers and felt sick at the smells whirling around him. Not only from the ingredients, but also all the emotions and hormones. The worst table was, of course, Sirius and Lily.

Mulciber kept using the M-word until he gave a yowl of pain. Everyone looked to see Mulciber jumping up and down as hot water dripped off his lap. He accused Sirius of knocking into their cauldron, which Sirius adamantly denied. Soon the bickering started up again until Sirius and Avery were pulling out their wands. Slughorn intervened and told them if they couldn't get along they'd all get a failing grade.

"I'm fine with that!" Sirius said, straightening up. "I'd rather a failing grade than deal with this ba—"

"I don't want a failing grade," Lily said, face brilliantly red. "Please. We can work together."

"Mr. Black, Mr. Avery, do you two wish to take a failing grade?" Slughorn asked, drumming his fingers against his belly.

"I don't care," sneered Avery.

Sirius glanced at Lily then back at the teacher. "No, I changed my mind. I'll do the work."

Remus knew he only wanted to stay with Lily to continue to protect her, and he was grateful for it. Slughorn removed five points from each house then waved his hand, telling everyone to go back to work. Of course there was more bickering from them, but none of them went for their wands again in class.

Tempers were boiling over more than the potions by the time Slughorn dismissed everyone. Remus suspected the only ones who hadn't tried to murder one another were Peter and Aegis and Alice and Rosier.

"She's such a cow," James complained as the Marauders made their escape from the room. Remus had paused to make sure Lily was okay, but she fled the room before anyone could talk to her. Now James was complaining about Urswick. "She said she knew I was good at making potions because I was making potions to cheat in Quidditch." He swung his satchel rather violently over one shoulder. "Guess the rumors are really making their rounds."

"At least you two didn't have it bad," Sirius sighed, running his fingers through his hair as he glanced at Peter and Remus.

Remus kept quiet, putting his shaky hands in his pockets while Peter cheerfully talked about working with Aegis. Lazy, he kept thinking. Am I lazy in potions? He thought he was doing the right thing when it came to partners. Letting them do the important work. He didn't want to bring anyone's grade down. Do they think I'm lazy? He glanced at his friends, not daring to voice the question. He didn't want James or especially Sirius mad at Alexander.

The rest of the day flew by, with the Marauders spending their time in a secret passage trying to figure out what they were going to do for Halloween. Prank-wise, of course. The previous year they had poured babbling brew into all the food, which had been hilarious. Their first year it was only fireworks. Very boring, very simple.

This year James wanted to do something huge. Not as huge as Operation Overgrowth—their end-of-year prank for their second year—but something big. They had loads of ideas and Remus obediently wrote down every single idea they had, making them as 'later' since James didn't like any of them for Halloween.

"Could we do something like what Remus did to us in the spring?" James mused on Thursday morning after Muggle Studies. "Lights off, big creepy words predicting everyone's death or something?"

"I don't think we could get all the lights in the Great Hall off," Remus answered, "especially since there are usually loads of lanterns and candles for the feast. Perhaps next year, but not this one."

"How do Muggles celebrate Halloween?" Sirius asked, looking at the two half-and-halfs.

Remus shrugged while Peter shook his head. "They don't do much, really. Magic folk celebrate it more. We never really did much on the Muggle side of things growing up. Guy Fawkes Night is more important to'em."

"What day?" James asked.

Remus choked on nothing, dropping his quill. "You don't know what Guy Fawkes Night is?" he asked incredulously.

James made a face. "No."

"I do!" Sirius flung himself against Remus. "Fireworks, loooaaads of fireworks, right?"

Remus pushed him off of him. "Yes, it's the fifth of November. It's Muggles celebrating the gunpowder plot."

"The what?" James asked. Remus stretched his legs out, taking in a deep breath. "Ooh, you're going to go all Professor, aren't you?"

"Shaddup!" Remus complained, swatting at his friend. "I shan't tell, if you're going to tease."

James sat upright, an angelic look on his face. "I'm sorry, I'll be good."

"Tell us about gunpowder," Sirius pleaded. "I don't know what the celebration is for, only that Muggles go wild on that night."

"In the early seventeenth century, the Catholics plotted to assassinate the king."

"That's a Muggle religion, right?" James asked.

"Yes. Very good."

James beamed. "Thank you, Professor."

Remus kicked him this time. "Guy Fawkes was caught putting gunpowder under the House of Lords, which was to blow up—"

"Gunpowder blows up?" James asked, looking excited now.

"Y-yes. Erm, anyway, he was arrested and people began celebrating the failed assassination attempt by making bonfires, setting off fireworks, and burning effigies."

"Who cares about that! Tell us about gunpowder!" James said, wriggling around. Before Remus could say anything, James froze. "Wait, burning what?"

"Effigies. Like… erm… wooden or straw figures to represent someone."

"Like… witches? Burning witches?" James asked.

"No, not like that, they're not real people, only figures to represent real people."

"Muggles sure like setting things on fire, don't they?" Sirius asked with a laugh. "Maybe I'm more Muggle than a Black should be, huh?"

"Bonfires," James said. "Fireworks. Burning figures. Lads, I think we have a Halloween prank."

Remus's stomach lurched. "Wh-what? No! We're not setting anyone on fire—"

James spread his arms. "Figures, Remy dear. We'll burn figures!"

He pressed his fingers against his eyes, trying not to groan. Luckily Sirius spoke up before him, though for a different reason. "I don't know, bonfires, fireworks, and burning a figure doesn't sound like a good Halloween prank."

"We could do that on Guy Fawkes night itself," suggested Peter.

"Say, isn't Dumbledore's phoenix named Fawkes?" Sirius suddenly asked.

"I always assumed it was in reference to that," Remus said, lowering his hands.

James snorted. "Kinda weird, naming your bird after a guy who tried to assassinate a king. I mean, something so Muggle."

"I dunno, Dumbledore's pretty old, maybe he was alive back then," Peter joked. "Knew Guy Fawkes."

"What, Dumbledore was involved with a plot to kill the king?" Sirius asked and Peter shrugged, unable to hide his grin. "Can't see old Dumbles doing that."

"Nah, maybe he was a bad king!" James exclaimed. "If people were trying to kill him, I mean…" He turned to Remus. "Was he a bad king?"

"Erm, certainly to the Catholics he was," Remus said, struggling to remember what little he knew about this period in Muggle history. "And to us. He was involved in witch hunts, and it was during his reign as king that there were a few acts put into place against witches."

"AHA!" James pointed at Sirius. "He tried to burn Dumbles at the stake, and Dumbles got involved with the plot." He and Peter exchanged a high five. "Then after his friend Fawkes got killed, he named his phoenix after him 'cause of the burning thing."

Sirius held his hands up in defeat. "You win."

"We don't really celebrate that here at Hogwarts," James mused, rubbing his chin. "Maybe because our headmaster hates the holiday."

"Or maybe because it's very Muggle," Remus said. "Also, Dumbledore is not three hundred and seventy years old."

"You sure about that?" James demanded.

"Let's burn an effigy of Guy Fawkes and see if Dumbledore takes offense!" suggested Peter.

"This is becoming out of hand," Sirius said.

"Yes, thank you," Remus agreed.

Sirius propped his elbows on his knees, hunching over with his chin against his fists. "We can discuss the possibility of Dumbledore being four hundred years old and involved in an assassination attempt later. For now, we really should focus on the Halloween prank. We can do the burning stuff on Guy Fawkes day."

Why didn't we start planning sooner? Remus wondered, stifling a yawn as they began trying to come up with ideas again. Finally, though, James settled on something. It wasn't absolutely brilliant, but he didn't want to do what the other three voted on. They wanted to dump the melevortus potion into the food which would turn everyone's heads into pumpkins; James shot this down, insisting they couldn't do another potion-in-the-food prank again.

"We did Operation Overgrowth last time," Peter said.

"But we did potion in the food for Easter and Halloween before," James grumbled. "No, we can wait till next year for that."

So they went with their second favorite idea which meant James would need to go into Hogsmeade to get supplies, which he said he'd do Saturday until Sirius reminded him they were already sneaking in on Saturday for the concert. James reluctantly agreed on Sunday, since he didn't want to take the girls in too early.

"We can do this, right?" James asked Remus as they got to their feet.

"Actually since we have less than a week to practice the spells, most likely it will go wrong," he answered.

James frowned. "Before or after the initial part?"

"I'd wager after."

"Whew!" James slung an arm across Remus's shoulders. "That's all right, then. As long as we get the first bit off, whatever follows will be great."