That afternoon, Lincoln and Lori had dinner together at an Italian place in town where the tables were covered with red and white checkered cloths and traditional Italian music played endlessly from hidden speakers, seeming to come from the very walls themselves. The waiters all wore black and white uniforms and low candlelight provided a warm and intimate glow. Lincoln had a slice of lasagna and Lori had some pasta and clams dish whose name Lincoln couldn't pronounce. At the beginning of the meal, their waiter brought them a basket of bread and sat it between them. Lincoln and Lori both attacked it with gusto, and every time they ran low, the waiter refilled it. Lincoln loved Italian bread and would have been happy just eating that. Lori suggested that they order a bottle of wine to celebrate her first day of college, but neither of them were old enough to drink alcohol, so they had sodas instead.

"This is really good," Lori said, twirling her fork in a mound of pasta. "Instead of sauce, it has pesto."

Lincoln wasn't exactly sure what pesto was, but he was pretty sure that he had had it before and didn't like it. "Those clams look pretty good," he said with a slight nod.

Spearing one with her fork, Lori cupped her hand beneath it and reached across the table. Lincoln leaned over and took it between his teeth. He chewed for a thoughtful moment, swishing the meat from one side of his mouth to the other, then pronounced it, "Alright."

"It's more than alright," Lori said. "It's great."

"Okay, Tony the Tiger."

They both laughed.

Lincoln carved a piece of lasagna off from the rest, stabbed it with his fork, and held it out to Lori. She went to eat it but at the very last second, it dropped from the tines and disappeared down her shirt. She squealed and laughed as she dug it out from between her breasts. Thick red sauce stained her shirt and the layers of meat and noodles came apart in her hands, making a real mess. Lincoln grabbed a handful of napkins and handed them to her with a sheepish, apologetic grin. "Sorry," he said.

"I got sauce on my boobs," she giggled and tried her best to clean herself off. "I better go to the little girl's room," she said. She pushed away from the table, got up, and rushed off, calling over her shoulder for Lincoln to watch her purse. When she was gone, Lincoln went back to eating, serenaded by the accordians of Italy. His finished off his food and used a piece of bread to mop the sauce off the plate. His stomach was sending signals to his brain that it was full but he couldn't resist the bread. Or the canolis in the under counter display case beneath the cash register. They looked cold and rich, like ice cream, and he imagined that they would taste like heaven on earth.

Lincoln was not the kind of guy who counted calories, but he had the feeling that he should skip the cannoli. His metabolism was great and kept him thin, but if he went on eating like this - stuffing himself even after he was full - it would lead to the formation of bad habits that would oneday come back to bite him in the ass. Nothing lasts forever, especially not a great metabolism. Mom was very open about the fact that she was "as thin as Lori" until the time she was thirty. Even after having a bunch of ids, her figure was great. But then her metabolism slowed down and couldn't handle the amount of calories she fed it in a day. The next thing she knew, she had a lotta "junk in the trunk."

Dad, too, had been fairly in shape up until recently. Now he had a little potbelly. If Lincoln got used to eating a certain amount and his metabolism decided to crap out on him, he'd be stuck like Chuck.

Then again, what the hell did he care? He was eleven, for crying out loud.

Bring on the cannoli.

Shortly, Lori returned from the bathroom and agreed with him that it was cannoli-o-clock. They ordered two and ate them slowly, relishing the sweet dessert and trying to make it last as long as possible, for once it was over, they would have to go back home and pretend that they weren't together anymore. Lincoln hated not being open with his love for Lori, but keeping their relationship a secret was, of course, non negotiable. If they weren't careful and their secret came out…well, Lincoln didn't know exactly what would happen, but it wouldn't be good for them. One day, when they were older and living on their own, they would probably come out of the closet, but until then, they had to keep hiding behind hanging coats and boxes of castoff junk like a couple of theives. It sucked, but hey, what are you going to do? Lincoln was a smart kid and knew a little bit about this life thing already, and one thing he knew was that you can't always get what you want. Sometimes you just gotta suck it up and deal with shit.

In the words of the immoral philopsher anonymous: it is what it is.

Just as they were finishing up their meal, Lori's phone rang. She rolled her eyes, dug it out of her pocket (where she had safely stashed it during lunch), and swiped her thumb across the screen. She had to do it twice for the call to answer. "Stupid thing," she muttered under her breath and lifted the phone to her ear. Lincoln's phone did the same thing. He'd have to swipe his thumb across the green ANSWER bubble several times for it to register. Then again, he and Lori had the same exact phone…and so, too, did their sisters. It was all part of the dirt cheap family plan Dad got them on last year. The phones were cheaply made trash assembled by little brown hands in a Phillipine sweatshop and didn't always function the way they were supposed to.

"Hello?" Lori asked.

She listened for a minute. "I'm out with my brother right now, but -"

Whoever was on the other end cut her off and she frowned slightly. Lincoln didn't make it a point to eavesdrop on other people's phone calls but he took a sudden interest in this one, and leaned slightly over the table to hear better. Who was she talking to? His first thought was, crazily, that one of their sisters had found out about them and was calling to tell Lori she had five minutes before the cops showed up. If it was one of their sisters, however, she wouldn't have called him "my brother." She would have used his name.

"Okay," Lori said, "I'll be there in five minutes."

She hung up the phone and Lincoln arched his brow quizzically. "Carol," Lori explained. "She needs my help with something."

"Want me to tag along?" Lincoln asked.

Lori shook her head. "No, she wants me to come alone."

"Ah," Lincoln said knowingly.

That made Lori frown. "What?"

"She's going to finally confess her undying love for you."

For a second, Lori looked at him like he was crazy then burst out laughing. "Yeah, okay, Linc. You'd like watching me and Carol lez out, wouldn't you?"

Lincoln shrugged one shoulder. "It might be interesting to watch."

"Not gonna happen," Lori said, "but keep dreaming."

After paying for their food, they went outside into the chilly night. Stars twinkled overhead and wrought iron lamps cast murky pools of light on the sidewalk. Lori bent down, brushed her hair out of her face, and kissed him on the lips. It was a chaste and wholesome kiss, but Lincoln turned it into something not so chaste and wholesome by plunging his tongue into her mouth. She flicked it with hers then stood up straight. "Alrght, Mr. Fresh, we can save that for later, I gotta go."

"Alright," Lincoln said and heaved an exaggerated sigh. "I'll see you later, I guess."

Lori laughed. "It's only for a little while, Linc. I'll be home as soon as Carol's done confessing her feelings for me."

Now it was Lincoln's turn to laugh. "Alright, then, take lots of pics."

"I will."

On that note, they went their separate ways, Lori going north toward Carol's house and Lincoln moving south to Franklin Avenue. He stuck his hands into his pockets, hunched his shoulders against the chill, and walked slowly, kicking a rock he found until it spun out of control and skidded into the gutter. A cold gust of wind swept up the street, rattling the trees and knocking a few already yellowing leaves to the pavement. It wasn't even September and already autumn was beginning to creep in. One thing about Michigan: It didn't waste time when it came to cold weather. The earliest day it could be cold, it was cold, and it didn't warm up again until it absolutely had to. Lincoln liked fall and winter, but he sort of wished the latter didn't last so long. Up here, it was pretty much winter by mid-November, and stayed that way until the very end of April or the very beginning of May. If you asked him, winter should end sometime in January. There was nothing sadder or more barren than the long, dark days of winter post Christmas.

That wasn't his choice, though. It was God's. Or Allah's. Or Mother Nature's, No matter who or what was or was not responsible, it was out of his hands. Oh well. At least winter brought snow days. Lincoln loved a good snow day. There was nothing better or more magical than getting an unexpected off day from school.

As he walked, the moon rose above the treetops and stared down at him with a cold and silvery glow. A shiver went through him and he briefly wished he had brought a jacket with him. Of course, it was warm earlier, downright hot, and he had no way of knowing that there would be a freak and sudden cold snap after dark.

He wished Lori was with him. He didn't want to sound like a crazy, clingy boyfriend or anything, but he already missed her. Being without Lori for any length of time was like being deprived of fresh air or sunlight for a flower. It might sound kind of corny, but she was the light of his life and being apart from her, even while she just went over to a friend's house, was tantamount to torture. They couldn't be stuck up each other's butts twenty four seven so they would just have to get used to it. They were still in that glorious honeymoon phase where the relationship was yet bright, new, and shiny, like a present freshly opened. Soon that glimmer would fade a little and he wouldn't be so gun ho to spend every waking second with Lori.

Sighing, Lincoln turned onto Franklin Avenue and followed the cracked ribbon of sidewalk past the gayly lit houses lining the way. The windows all blazed with warm, inviting light and smoke curled from the occasional chimney, lending the scene a Rockwellian air. Suddenly, Lincoln found himself wishing it would snow. That was all that was needed to complete the scene.

So wrapped up in his thoughts was Lincoln that he didn't see the darkened figure standing dead still in his way until he was crashing into it. He bounced back with a little start and threw up his hands in a defensive judo stance just in case the stranger meant him harm. The figure, cast in darkness, seemed to stiffen, then slowly, ominously turned around. The light from a nearby streetlamp fell over its features, and Lincoln relaxed.

It was someone he knew.

Someone he was safe with.

His sister Lynn.

Lynn Loud was fast.

When she first landed in middle school, she joined the track and field team because there wasn't a girl's football team. In her tryout, she came close to breaking the state record, which was held by a transwoman with calf muscles the size of grape fruits. In every race and every event, she dusted the competition like a CSI tech looking for fingerprints. She set local records that would likely stand for years and made everyone who watched her lime green with envy.

The afternoon that she spied on Lincoln and Lori, she put her pedal to the metal, as the saying goes, and ran all the way home in a flash, her ponytail streaming behind her like a banner. She ran so fast that the wind took the breath from her lungs and bugs splattered against her forehead. She had to jump, duck, and dodge obstacles along the way, but she didn't miss a beat. She sailed along the sidewalk like she was flying, and got so lost in the moment that she ran four blocks past her house before she caught herself. She pulled a widde U-turn and ran back the way she had come. By the time she reached her front door, she was winded and sweaty despite her epic endurance. She slapped one hand against the door, bent at the waist, and sucked great gulps of air into her burning lungs.

As she stood there, panting heavily, doubts started to creep in once more. Was she absolutely sure that she should tell her sisters what she had seen? Telling them would open a can of worms that she wasn't sure she wanted to open. At least, not all half cocked and shit. She thought back to what she had seen, and steeled her resolve. She would get Luna and Luan together and tell them. She definitely had just cause to believe that something fucky was going on here, but did she really want to point the finger yet? She hadn't really seen anything too messed up. Maybe she was still jumping at shadows here.

She scrunched her lips to one side and let out a thoughtful hum. Back there, spying on Lincoln and Lori, she had been sure that she had enough intelligence to bring the matter to her sisters, but now, removed from the situation and able to think a little more clearly, she wasn't so sure anymore. This was a very serious matter and she couldn't act prematurely here. She had to make sure she had all her I's dotted and T's crossed before she leveled any accusations against her brother and sister.

Now she wasn't sure what she should do. Part of her want to tell Luna and Luan everything right this very second, but another part wanted to hold off just in case she was mistaken.

Which option should she go with?

Lynn didn't know. She was at an impasse, a classic fork in the road, only neither path presented itself as the better one to take.

She was stumped, sp she did what she always did when she needed advice.

Went to the wisest people she knew.

Her friends Margo and Polly Pain.

Knowing them as well as she knew herself, she returned to the park and found them on the baseball diamond, playing a game of softball with a bunch of girls from the neighborhood. She knew better than to interrupt a sporting event - might as well bother a Muslim while they're praying - so she took a seat in the dugout and waited for the game to wrap up…which wound up taking forever, Finally, however, the game broke up and all the girls drifted away. Polly and Margo came over to grab their things, and Lynn stood to meet them. "We could have used you out there, Loud," Polly said.

"Yeah," Margo agreed, "those girls from Shelbyville kicked our asses." She grabbed her Nike gym bag from the bench beside Lynn and slung it over her shoulder.

"I was busy," Lynn said quickly. "Hey, I need you guys' help with something."

Margo rolled her eyes. "Oh, so that's how it is. You only turn up when you want something."

"Sad," Polly said.

"Oh, fuck off. That's not how it is and you know it."

"What's the problem?" Margo asked.

They were walking across the now deserted baseball field, the light blanching from the sky and an unexpected chill creeping into the air. Lynn opened her mouth to reply but stopped herself. She, Luna, and Luan had vowed never to speak to anyone about what had happened at Lori's long ago party - her drunken flirting with Lincoln and the way she basically committed incest right there in front of the whole world. They didn't want word to get around, for Lori's sake as well as for their own. Lynn hadn't told a single soul, but she could trust Polly and Margo. They weren't gossipy little girls like the dumbasses Luna and Luan hung out with. They knew how and when to keep their mouths closed. Even so, right now, poised on the cusp of spilling her guts about what was essentially her family's darkest secret, she hesitated.

Polly and Margo were both looking at her. "Well?" Polly pressed. "What's the matter?"

Now Lynn wasn't so sure she should tell them. Did she want to risk exposing Lori's darkest deed on mere suspicion? What if she was wrong and her friends went running off at the mouth? What if her search for help wound up leading to the story of Lori the Incest Lover spreading through town like monkeypox through a gay pride parade? She didn't want to ruin her older sister's reputation, especially if Lori was completely innocent of the crimes she stood accused of.

"You gonna tell us or not?" Margo asked.

Lynn needed to make up her mind and fast. An idea occurred to her, and she took a deep, fortifying breath. "I think a friend of mine might be cheating on her boyfriend but I'm not sure." Right there on the spot, she made up a BS story that pretty well matched real life events, but focused on two "frien ds." She started with Friend #1's flirtatious behavior at the party and ended with what she had just seen in the park. "It's not weird for them to be together since they're like…they're adopted siblings. He was adopted. Yeah, that's it. He was adopted from an abusive home and has a twin sister living in Detroit. So…them being together isn't weird, but -"

"They're fucking," Margo said point blank.

Lynn's heart sank into her stomach. That wasn't the answer she wanted to hear. Deep down, she wanted her friends to allay her suspicions and soothe her worried mind. She didn't want this to happen, any of this, and desperately hoped that wouldn't have to deal with it. She knew in her heart of hearts, however, that she would.

She looked to Polly for a second opinion, but if she hoped for another point of view, she was sadly mistaken. "Yeah, they're totally a couple."

"Are you sure?" Lynn asked, desperate. "I mean, I didn't see them kissing or anything but -"

"You didn't have to," Margo said. "From what you told us, they're a couple. End of story. You might wanna let your friend know that his girl is fucking another dude."

That was it: All of Lynn's hopes and dreams crashed down around her like a giant pane of stained glass. If Margo and Polly were both this sure, then there was no more denying it: Lincoln and Lori were together. Or maybe Lori had bullied him into being her boytoy. That was a possibility that had never crossed Lynn's mind, but suddenly seemed to make a lot of sense. She was the one who came onto him at the party and he was clearly uncomfortable with it. Some time later, after she sobered up and decided that she was hungry for boy meat (but only if it had the same DNA as her), she very well may have figuratively (or literally) twisted his arm, forcing him into a sick, one sided relationship. He looked like a willing participant to Lynn, but she could be wrong.

He might be a hostage.

Thanking Polly and Margo for their sage advice, Lynn took off for home. This time, she didn't run, she walked…very, very slowly. She hung her head and slumped her shoulders beneath the unseen weight of the obligation before her. Who knew where it would lead. It might end with Lori kicked out of the house or even in jail. Either way, Lori would hate her forever. Lynn didn't want that, but whatever was going on between her and Lincoln had to stop.

Especially if Lincoln was being forced.

God, her own big sister - a fucking groomer.

She could hardly believe this. Maybe it wasn't true. But then again, maybe it was. She wasn't sure but she was going to find out, and there was only one way to do that.

Telling her sisters.

By now, it was dark and the first stars of night twinkled in the sky like chips of diamond. She made it to the bottom of the driveway and stopped to look up at the house. Comfortable light shone in the windows and even out here, she could hear the faint strands of Luna shredding her guitar. It sounded like she was playing The Clash. Or maybe it was The Sex Pistols. One of those late seventies English punk bands. Luna loved those guys and even dressed like them. She wore safety pins threaded through her clothes, can you believe that? Who thought that of all things was cool? Bruh, you look like you're wearing a diaper.

She was just summoning the energy to go inside when something bumped into her from behind, startling her from her thoughts with such intensity that she went entirety stiff. She missed a beat, then turned around, ready to fight if whoever it was wanted a tussle. At once, however, she saw that it was only Lincoln, and her heart sank to her feet. He was the second to last person she wanted to see right now.

The last was Lori.

"Hey," Lincoln said, relaxing.

"Hey," Lynn said, doing the opposite. "Uh, how's it going?"

Lincoln, hands slipping into his pocket, gave a quick shrug. "Alright, I guess." He started to say something else, but cut himself off. For an awkward moment, they faced each other. Lincoln rocked back and forth on his heels and Lynn rubbed the back of her neck. "Well," Lincoln finally said, "I gotta go."

"Me too," Lynn said.

They walked up to the house together, side by side, which somehow increased the awkwardness of the situation. Inside, they quickly parted ways. Lynn rushing up the stairs and Lincoln ducking into the kitchen like he wanted a snack. Lincoln, for his part, had no idea why things were so awkward with Lynn. Call it a vibe or a feeling in the air. Back on the sidewalk, he was going to ask her where she had been, just to make a little friendly conversation, but cut himself off for fear that she would ask him the same question.

In the kitchen, Lucy sat at the table coloring a picture from a horror movie coloring book and Lana and Lola dunked chocolate chip cookies into their milk - Lana had regular, Lola strawberry. Lola was all about the color pink to the point of only drinking strawberry milk and smothering everything she ate in some weird pink sauce she bought online. Lincoln tried some one time and it was straight up revolting. He thought that Lola secretly didn't like it either but forced herself to eat it anyway.

What a weirdo.

All three - Lucy, Lola, and Lana - looked up at him like they were animals eating a hunk of prey and he a potential threat. He nodded to them and went to the pantry to make it look like he was getting something to eat. They all turned back to their tasks, and he grabbed a granola bar that he didn't plan to eat. He went upstairs, slipped into his closet-turned-bedroom, and sat on the edge of the bed. He leaned over, opened the nightstasnd drawer, and dropped the granola bar in. He kicked his shoes off, stretched out on top of the covers, and laced his hands over his chest.

He was just being paranoid, he decided. There was no reason that he should be picking up "bad vibes" from Lynn. It was just his own guilty conscious. He put so much thought into the nature of his and Lori's relationship that he was starting to get bjumpy. He was terrified, as was Lori, of it coming out, so yeah, it made sense that he'd be on edge.

When you get right down to it, he had no reason to be paranoid. He and Lori were extremely careful and no one was the wisert about the true character of their feelings for one another. If you asked their sisters, or their friends, or even Mom and Dad, they would say that Lincoln and Lori Loud were just normal siblings. Nothing to see here, in other words, now move along.

Little did he know, that wasn't the case. He really did have cause to be suspicious around Lynn. She was blike a bloodhound…

…and she was hot on their trail.

That night, after everyone had bathed and gone into their rooms for the night, Lynn poked her head into Luna and Luan's shared bedroom, the crack of light shining beneath the closed door telling her that they were still up. Luan was sitting at the desk beneath the window doing homework and Luna was sitting up in bed strumming her guitar and looking displeased with the sound it was making. She was the first to look up and notice Lynn's presence. "We need to talk," Lynn said without preamble. She shut the door behind her and leaned against it. "About Lincoln and Lori."

That got both of their attentions. There was only one thing Lynn could be referring to when she said "Lincoln and Lori." They, too, remembered well what had happened at the party, and were just as shocked and horrified by Lori's predatory actions toward Lincoln. They had made a type of pact to keep an eye on their older sister and to intervene if necessary. They made good on their promise to watch Lori but had given up after several months when they found no sign or signal that anything she did was amiss. In fact, for a while, Lori seemed to steer clear of Lincoln almost entirely, probably, the tripartite figured, out of shame for what she had done.

Since there was no need for them to police Lori, they had backed off, but the memory of what she had done and what they had seen stayed with them. It was always near the tops of their minds so they knew exactly what Lynn was talking about.

"What is it?" Luna asked.

Coming over to the bunk bed, Lynn sighed heavily and sat down, her hands balling in her lap. She told her sisters everything, starting with overhearing Lincoln and Lori downstairs that morning and ending with Polly and Margo's assessment of the situation. By the time she was finished, Luan sat on her right and Luna on her left, both leaning in like children hearing a particularly fascinating story. When Lynn was finished, Luna chewed the inside of her bottom lip in a thoughtful manner. "So we're not 100 percent sure you actually saw anything outta bounds."

"No," Lynn agreed, "but…I don't know, I got a feeling from it. Maybe you have to see it to understand. I don't know. I think something's definitely up."

Luna didn't look convinced, but Luan agreed. "It sounds like it."

Getting to her feet, Luna said, "I'm not saying for sure that it isn't, but I just want more proof. I want to know for sure that we're not overreacting."

"So do I," Lynn said. "And once we have that, we can….do something."

She missed a beat because she had no idea what they would wind up doing. They had discussed the matter many times since the party but usually stopped short of what they would do if they found out Lori was…ahem…acting up. Their plans were vague and hazy. They would "stop" it. Would they go to the police? To Mom and Dad? Would they give Lori a stern talking to? They weren't sure, but it was starting to look like they would have to do something, so it wasn't a bad idea to decide on a course of action now. "What will we do?" Lynn asked.

Luna pursed her lips and hummed in the back of her throat. "Confront her," she finally said. "We take her aside and talk to her. Try to make her see reason. If she won't…" she trailed off, not sure what Plan B should consist of. "I guess we'll go to Mom and Dad." She started to pace lazily back and forth, her fingers raking through her short brown hair. "But before we do that, we need to know for certain. Lynn, you keep following Lori. Luan, you start following Lincoln. Don't let them out of your sight."

"What are you going to do?" Lynn asked.

Luna flashed a wry smile. "I have a plan. If Lori's being a pervert, I'm gonna catch her red handed. And we'll have video proof."

The three sisters, decided on a plan of action, parted company for the night. In her bed, Lynn lay awake under the covers for a long time.

She hoped she was wrong about this.

But deep in her heart, she knew that she wasn't.

This was happening.

And she and the others…

…were going to put a stop to it.