Loving a Wolf
She's getting married.
They are getting married.
She has agreed to marry Link.
What other option does she have? Her wedding with Merari is only a week away. Marrying someone else is the only option they could come up with.
Zelda bitterly laughs at the irony. She had left Hyrule to escape an arranged marriage, got engaged anyways to a scoundrel, and now is arranging another marriage to escape the second one.
The goddesses truly have a sense of humour, she deadpans.
Sitting up in bed, she examines the new ring on her finger. An old silver band—dented and darkened—with a heart-shaped sapphire in the mount. Engraved on the inside are the words My Queen.
A small smile tugs at her lips. Then again, maybe marrying Link isn't so bad after all.
And yet, she can't help the guilt that plagues her. In the crevices of her mind lies the thought that she's forcing Link into a marriage against his will. That she's holding him back and preventing him from finding true love.
With a heavy heart, she lies back on her bed. Staring off into space, she reflects on her relationship with Link. The times of comfort, support, aid, training. The time they went out for dinner, and all the times he let her cry on his shoulder, and now he is helping her escape Merari.
She sighs again, but this time a smile accompanies it.
Link is a dear friend, and that's already more than a princess could ever hope for.
Her mind shifts over to the kiss they shared the other day, and her smile fades. It plagues her. She wants to say they are just friends, but the kiss throws everything into question. They have been physically close before but never so far as a kiss. It hadn't been a friendly kiss, nor a familial kiss. That kiss had ignited a fire inside her, and she is positive Link had felt something too. But does it mean anything?
Raising her hand until the ring is right above her, the light of a candle glints off into her eyes. She stares at it, as if by doing so all the answers will come to her. With her other hand, she twists the ring between her fingers—a perfect fit, as if she is meant to have it.
Do I... Do I love Link? Does he love me?
She looks away dejectedly, resting her hands upon the bed.
No. He doesn't love me. It's mating season. His wolf must have made him do it. The kiss means nothing. It means...nothing...
Groaning desperately, she jumps out of bed and paces back and forth across her floor. Her thoughts fly at several miles per hour. She reflects on everything, from her first meeting with Link to yesterday.
Link is kind. Link is gentle. He can have a temper, but he is truly a sweet young man. His sense of justice is strong and has no toleration for wrong. He loves and cares for his family and does what he can to provide for them.
As she continues, the corners of her mouth shift into a sweet, little smile.
Link really is a dear friend. While it's still too early to say I love him in a marital sense, I do believe I'm falling for him. Even if we never become lovers we will always be friends, and I can see myself being content living with him.
That's the conclusion she reaches, but her doubts move to the forefront of her mind.
But how does Link feel about all this? Is he happy with this arrangement? Her hands shake as guilt and worry wash over her. I don't want Link to sacrifice his happiness for me! I-If there's someone else he'd rather be with, then he should be. He shouldn't have to throw his dreams aside out of pity!
Her frustration pours out in a strangled scream, followed by her kicking the footboard of her bed. Breathing deeply she kneads her forehead.
Fretting is getting me nowhere. I need to find Link. The two of us must have a heart-to-heart.
She finds him in the barn feeding the animals. Upon her entrance he turns around, as if sensing her presence, and his eyes light up, but not as much as she hoped. It looks like there's a storm cloud in the depth of his eyes, a source of negativity that summons forth her doubts and regrets.
"Good day, Zelda," he says in greeting. "What brings you here?"
"Link, we need to talk."
It must have been the tone of her voice or the determination in her eyes, for Link's cheerful façade falls. "About what?"
"About a lot of things." The distance between them closes as she steps forwards and takes his hand in her own. "Link, I'm grateful for what you're doing for me, but I don't want it to be at the expense of your happiness. If there's someone you want to be with, someone you love, then I will find a way for the two of you to be together, even if—"
Her courage fails her, and she looks down at the ground while her turmoil from earlier fills up her heart.
"Even if it means I must leave Holodrum forever."
No sooner has she finished talking than Link's arms wrap around her. He holds her against him so tightly that her feet aren't even touching the ground.
"Zelda, I've been fond of you for a long time now."
An electric shock races through her, and she goes limp in his arms. It's not as though Link confessed having romantic feelings for her. But it's a step in the right direction, right?
"It's just..." Link continues. "Remember what I said about being ashamed? About being afraid, and a monster?"
Zelda weakly nods her head from where it rests on his shoulder. "Yes. But I'm failing to see the point."
She hears him sigh, and her noise picks up the odor of nervous sweat. "Because of my wolf, I don't feel deserving of you."
Now Zelda goes stiff as the muscles in her back tighten.
"I didn't know how to tell you about my wolf," Link continues. "I always did my best to hide it because I didn't want to scare you off, or worse. I didn't want to lose my friend." His voice cracks, and she feels his body shake. When her feet touch the ground, she realizes his grip has slackened considerably. He hunches over and clings to her shoulders desperately.
"When I found out you are a princess, that was when I knew I could never stand beside you."
Tears splash atop her head, and with each breath, his body is racked by sobs. Reaching up, she cups his face in her hands.
"But then mating season arrived," he continues. "And all my feelings rose up from where I had buried them. That kiss was the most honest I've been with myself in months. I want what I'm undeserving of, and the wolf wants more. I've had to hold him back several times to the point where it's made me ill. Even a simple hug is enough to bring the wolf forward, and I fear what he would make me do to you if I allow him to take over."
She wrenches herself out of their closeness and takes a step back away from Link.
"Link, stop! Stop saying such things. Link, I was aware of your wolf long before I knew what it was!" Link stares back in awe inspired disbelief. "Link, I know you'll never hurt me. You'll always be there to protect your family, and is that not what we are?" She holds up her hand with the wedding band. It glints in the dim lighting of the barn. "So stop hurting yourself. Stop fearing yourself. I'm not afraid of your other self, and neither should you."
They stand there staring at each other. Zelda hopes her eyes reflect her resolve and commitment. Now that she has heard how Link feels about her, her mind is made up. While it hadn't exactly been a confession of romantic love, it is clear he wants her in more than a platonic way. So, she'll marry him and make the best out of their relationship, wherever it may lead them.
Link's eyes only hold disbelief. Does he really still doubt her? Or is it himself he doesn't trust? In the depths of his eyes she sees something. A light. The light of hope. She knows he wants to believe her; that she trusts him, that she's not afraid, that he'll never hurt her. Yet she can tell from his sad eyes that he doesn't.
He shakes his head, then walks out the barn.
With a deep groan, she leans back against a tree, facing the darkening sky, more emotionally tired than physically. After her talk with Link, Zelda had gone for a walk to think things through. If only there was some way I could make Link see that I'm not afraid of the wolf. That I love him, wolf and all. Maybe... Maybe there's something special I can do for him. But what?
The approaching crunch of snow disturbs her train of thought. Looking back down, she sees a familiar face. It's the adolescent wolf from her last nighttime outing, and trailing behind it is a little puppy. The same night she had unwittingly encountered Link's wolf for the first time. This time she has an idea of who this little wolf really is.
"Is that you, Aryll?" Zelda says playfully.
Aryll—for it is Aryll—nods yes, followed with a happy bark.
There's a high pitched whining. The two look to see the puppy struggling through the deep snow. Aryll paces back, picks up the puppy by the scruff, and carries him over to Zelda, who places the puppy in her lap.
She must have been taking her puppy for a walk, she thinks while petting said puppy.
Aryll drops to the ground and presents her tummy to Zelda. Her tongue hangs out while her tail wags back and forth in the snow. Zelda smiles before attacking her little sister with tickles and tummy rubs. Zelda laughs, and Aryll makes huffs and whines that resemble laughter.
When the playtime ends, they lie together in the snow. Aryll's head rests on Zelda's lap, and Zelda runs her fingers through Aryll's coat. The pup is curled up on Aryll's back.
An idea comes to Zelda's mind. "Hey, Aryll. Maybe you can help me with something."
A questioning hum rises from Aryll. She opens an eyelid and peers at Zelda with interest.
"Let's just say your brother is being stubborn."
Aryll tilts her head to the side.
"He basically said he doesn't think I'm safe around his wolf. I tried telling him I trust him. That I'm not afraid. That I care for him. I don't think he believed me."
Aryll makes what sounds like a wolf's version of a groan and drapes her paw across her muzzle with her eyes shut tight.
Zelda chuckles. "I know. It's not like I don't understand him. I hold a healthy respect for his wolf, but I'm tired of being held at arm's length. If it's really such a problem for Link, then I want him to let me stand by him and support him. He's a dummy. But I like the dummy."
Aryll's ears perk.
"Which is why I want to do something special. Something that will show him what I feel. Do you have any ideas?"
She hasn't even finished talking when Aryll springs up—the puppy rolls off her into the snow—and begins prancing further into the trees. After a few paces, she pauses and looks back at Zelda with a wide, wolfy grin. With a flick of her tail, she continues trekking into the forest.
Zelda picks up the dazed puppy and follows after her sister-wolf.
It is night when Zelda enacts her plan.
With her cloak wrapped around her, she makes her way down the hall to Link's room. Each step is delicate and precise as she walks, tip-toed, with her hand on the wall for balance. The soft soles of her leather shoes help silence her footfalls. In her other arm she carries some blankets. She gently presses on the door, testing its security. It gives way a little.
Bracing her hands on the door, she inches it open little by little. Inside she sees the silhouette of Link's sleeping form lying on his bed with the blankets thrown half-heartedly over him. The only source of light being a sliver of moonlight leaking through his closed shutters that falls upon his handsome face.
She smiles to herself, and briefly wonders what it would be like to wake up and the first thing she sees is his face every morning.
She slips through the crack in the door. Thus her plan can now begin.
Closing the door behind her, she glides across his room to the bed. She unfastens her cloak, and lets it drop to the floor. Bending down, she slips off her shoes and slides them under the bed. Now she's standing in only her smock. This is it, she tells herself. No going back. Be brave, Zelda.
With as much care and delicacy as possible, she fixes Link's blanket so that it covers him completely.
She lays out her own blankets on the floor beside his bed and slides underneath them, using her cloak for a pillow. She breathes deeply as the tension leaves her muscles. Now all she can do is sleep and wait for whatever the morning brings.
It's mid-winter, so it's still dark when she wakes up.
Sleep still clings to her, and it's tempting to return to her dreams. With effort, she fights drowsiness. She props herself up on her side and blinks away the relaxing sensations. When her eyes finally adjust to the dimly lit room she sees she's not the only one awake.
Link is sitting in his bed with his back against the headboard. He stares at her with a mixture of surprise and wonder.
"H-how… Why?" he stammers.
She gives a sympathetic smile. "Because you wouldn't listen to me, so I decided to show you."
She then moves over and sits on the edge of his bed, clasping one of his hands in her own.
"You may not trust your other self with me, Link, but I do. If we're going to get married. If I'm going to love you. It's going to be all of you, including your wolf." She then smiles playfully. "Besides, he's not a big scary wolf at all. He's only a big, fluffy, cuddly puppy."
This time Link's the one to initiate the embrace. His grip on her tightens, and he presses the side of his cheek against hers. She leans in, pressing her own cheek against his, and they nuzzle together. The roughness of his morning stubble tickles her skin. They laugh.
The laugh turns into a squeal while Link pulls her into his lap. Link howlers at her reaction. With a pout, Zelda swats playfully at Link's face.
Soon they're both laughing again while playfully attacking each other. Swatting, kicking, tickling, groping, wrestling; they are lost in the moment and are simply having fun with each other. Their playtime comes to a crashing halt when they tumble onto the floor, tangled up in the blankets.
Out of breath, they lay there together wrapped up in their cocoon. They search for each other's hand. When they find them, they hold firmly and lay there gazing into each other's eyes.
After a pause Zelda says, "We should be going now."
Link responds by pulling her in so that they are pressed flesh to flesh. "We could just stay here."
She hums softly. "This is nice," she whispers. "But I have something planned for us."
"It can wait. For now, let's cuddle."
But at that moment the door swings open and in walks a tired-looking Linka who has goddess-awful bedhead.
"Hey Link," she says with a yawn. "Have you seen Zelda? Mom wants her help with making breakfast. And what was that racket you were making? Some of us were trying to sleep, bro." With another yawn she blinks the remaining sleep away, and only now notices the other occupant of the room.
Zelda looks away in embarrassment. She's more than aware what it looks like she and Link had been up to. She shrinks away underneath the blankets, burying her face into Link's torso. She doesn't resurface until she hears Linka close the door and scamper away accompanied by giddy laughter.
"So... What did you have planned for us today?" Link asks.
She slumps against his shoulder. "Breakfast first."
Breakfast had been awkward. Linka had not been subtle at all. She kept giving Zelda and Link looks. Both of them were more than embarrassed by the implications of said looks, and Zelda is convinced everyone else had noticed and probably have the wrong idea right now. Fortunately no one had said anything. They all had the decency to keep quiet. Though Aryll had smiled encouragingly. She probably thought this meant the plan had been a success. She wouldn't be wrong either. It had been.
Not entirely, Zelda corrects herself. There's still one phase left.
And that is why she's currently leading Link deep into the forest, even farther than their special training spot. She keeps her focus on the land, making sure she is going in the right direction. Aryll had showed her the way only once.
Her diligence pays off. They reach their destination, a small, seemingly unimportant cave. It's little more than a crevice in the rock formation. Link raises an eyebrow when he sees it.
Zelda rolls her eyes. "Trust me. It'll be worth it once we're inside." She's about to go in but stops and steps aside. Her hands are fidgeting behind her back. "You go first."
He steps forward, but gives her a questioning glance.
She looks off to the side as she says, "I-I may need you to help me. I got stuck the last time." He smirks in response. She glares at him and quickly adds, "Don't you dare say it!"
Link holds up his hands in surrender, though the smirk remains. He turns into a wolf and slips with ease into the cave.
Zelda sighs despairingly. If only I could turn into a wolf. Then I wouldn't need to embarrass myself.
Everything happens as she thought it would. She had gotten stuck right where the cave opens up, and Link had to turn back into a human to pull her out. Despite her earlier warning, he still laughed at her and made a comment about her...curves. Pouting, Zelda now grudgingly leads Link further into the cave, wondering how she could have fallen for such a dork.
They don't have to go far. Just a few turns, and they see their final destination. Before them is a hot spring. The rocky shore glistens with moisture. Steam rises up from the waters and disperses through an opening in the ceiling that lets in sunlight.
Zelda smiles to herself, and silently thanks Aryll for showing her this lovely little secret of hers. I owe her one, she reminds herself. She takes in Link's reaction. He stares at the sight in awe, but also looks more confused than before.
She closes her eyes and chuckles. Smiling lovingly, she begins walking towards the water, never taking her eyes off Link. Before she gets in, she stops and begins to remove her clothes. "You once asked me," she says, "if I would like to bathe with you after our first lesson. But now I ask you if you would like to soak with me in this water."
She steps in, and only when she's submerged does she turn her back to Link. She waits. The silence is deafening. Just when she's convinced he's not going to join her, she hears the disturbance of water and sees Link slide in beside her.
She doesn't hold back the grin that takes over her face. Nor the tears that leak out from her eyes. Link returns her grin, and a tear of his own. And so they soak in the water, cuddling together.
After what feels like hours, Zelda feels Link tense up beside her. Looking up, she sees his face scrunched up in pain and anxiety.
"What's wrong, Link?"
"Sorry, Zelda," he says with a pained smile. "The wolf is wanting me to do something."
Zelda is unimpressed. This attitude from Link is a step backwards. Pouting, she faces Link to address him better and says, "Link, we've been through this already. I'm not afraid of your other side. When I say I love you, I mean I love all of you! Stop doing this to yourself, now! Stop trying to hold back and resist what is a part of you. No. It's not a part of you, it is you! Quit being at odds with yourself on my behalf. It's only causing you unnecessary pain, and it's going to harm our relationship in the future. Now tell me. What does your—No! What do you want to do!"
For a moment Link does nothing. He just sits there, staring at the water. Zelda watches carefully, and notices his breathing grow more steady. The pain behind his eyes vanishes, and soon he is completely calm and looks more at peace than she's seen him be in a while now.
"The wolf," he begins but then stops himself. He takes another calming breath before continuing. "I want to mate with you. Here. Now."
Zelda stares back, wide-eyed. The heat rushes to her face, and she's certain it's not just from the water. She knows she should have expected this, but it still comes as a shock.
She remains quiet, taking her time to think. She keeps her hands on Link as a way to reassure him she isn't going to run off on him. He, in turn, places a hand over hers and gives a reassuring squeeze.
Zelda thinks through her answer.
Should we do it now? I know it would need to happen eventually. We would need to do it anyways to consummate our marriage. But is that my only reason why? Her gaze wanders to their overlapping hands. If we do this, there will be no going back. We will officially be tied together in body and spirit. Until death do us part. She thinks back and reflects on all their time together. We've had our high moments and our lows. But what relationship doesn't? We've quarrelled, we've forgiven each other, we are friends, and that's already more than I could have ever hoped for from a spouse. And I am falling for him. She smiles. Yes, I have fallen for him. So, just maybe... Maybe we really can be a happily married couple, like Lysander and Arlette.
Her mind drifts off and she starts imagining what the future could hold for them. Especially considering one particular subject.
Children. This could result in a child. Or two. Or three. Or...who knows how many! How many children will we even have? Five? Six? Ten? A dozen? Twenty? Seventy? Is that last one even possible? Am I even ready to be a mother?
She imagines being surrounded by little children. Little children who can turn into puppies at a moment's notice. The very idea makes her laugh gleefully. Her mind shifts through different scenarios. Living on a farm, living in the woods, in a town in Labrynna, back at Hyrule Castle! In each instance she can imagine herself smiling. Yes, even back at Hyrule Castle, because she has her family with her.
Yet, she realises these are all what-ifs. Nothing is certain. So she inwardly sighs and tells herself, Whatever my fate may be, my life is in the hands of the goddesses.
Sitting up, she pulls herself into Link's lap and faces him. The awe and amazement his eyes hold are clear to her.
Her hands find their place on his shoulders. Looking into his eyes, a soft, warm smile finds its way onto her lips as she says, "I do not know what the future may bring. I have no idea what the goddesses have in store for us. But I do know that if there's anyone I want to be a part of my future, it is you, Link. I'll have you as mine, if you'll have me as yours."
"Zelda," he gasps, and she can hear the fear in his voice. "If I give in, I won't be able to control myself."
She smiles reassuringly. "Then don't." She reaches up and cups his face in her hand. "I know you won't hurt me, Link. Link, I trust you. Trust yourself."
She leans in to kiss him, but he holds her back with less than an inch between them.
"Zelda, are you one-hundred percent sure this is what you want?"
"Yes," she whispers, and then the distance between them vanishes when she pulls him into a kiss.
This kiss is like the small stone that starts a mighty avalanche. Once their lips touch the chains on Link's heart and conscience shatter. His resolve becomes clear, and any remaining doubts he had disintegrate. Link's two selves become one. No longer will he be at war with himself. And on that very day, in the warmth of the hot spring, Link knew Zelda, and Zelda knew Link. Neither would return home for the rest of that day.