Chapter 8: Seal Team Six

A/N: Hope you US readers had a great Thanksgiving, despite, you know, 2020. Hopefully you are still full of turkey and grateful spirit, and will therefore forgive my canon non-compliance near the end of this chapter. This is fanfiction after all.

Also, I thought about naming this entire story Seal Team Six, with a vague conception of the team selections here in mind. Just a fun fact.

-o X o-

"That's an excellent Henge," Iruka complimented, making a note on his clipboard. "Alright, last test. Please perform the clone technique," he asked calmly. I stood at the front of the class as Iruka and Mizuki administered the practical side of our final exam. Most of the class was already bored; almost everyone who had stuck around at the Academy for the full five years could perform the basic three jutsu requirements without issue. Almost everyone.

Obediently, I created a perfect illusionary clone, who casually rolled his shoulders and began stretching his arms. I could impart a certain intention to a clone when I made it, but couldn't control it after formation. It would simply act on the intention that I created it with- in this case, to act casual. The demonstration was more than sufficient for today's purpose.

"Wonderful, full marks," Iruka stated, visibly pleased with my performance. I smiled and bowed, dispelling the clone as I did so. Iruka proudly handed me a Konoha headband. "It was a pleasure to be your instructor at the Academy," he said, in the pride-inspiring voice that only the best teachers could wield. "I wish you the best of luck as you begin your ninja career. Return here tomorrow at ten am for your jounin assignment." It was basically the same mini speech he gave to every graduate, but even so, coming from Iruka, it somehow felt personalized. He really knew me, and cared about me, and meant every word. Naruto may have been his (poorly concealed) favorite student, but that didn't detract from the personal interest he showed all his other pupils.

I returned to my seat as 'Inuzuka, Kiba' was called to the front, a confident smirk on his face. The class had turned out a bit differently from in canon. Most of the students were the same, but three were noticeably impacted by my presence. The first being Hinata Hyuuga. She had a graceful confidence about her that came from being accepted by both her father and her older cousin. Her book smarts were well above average, and due to her Byakugan and perfect Jyuuken, she dominated any combat-related activity. Sasuke and Kiba were the only ones who could really compete with her in pure taijutsu. She was easily the top kunoichi of our year.

Sasuke was still quiet and somewhat antisocial, but he got on well enough with me, and even seemed to enjoy trading verbal barbs with Naruto and Kiba from time to time. He was still rookie of the year, excelling at every aspect of the ninja arts.

Naruto was the third major difference, and I was proud of the hand I had taken in helping him develop. Personality wise, he was exactly what I remembered from canon- loud, brash, and direct, but also noble and innocent in the way he wanted to rescue princesses and save the world. His changes were primarily in his abilities. I had privately countered Mizuki's efforts to sabotage Naruto's taijutsu, so he had adequate technique to back up his boundless energy and power. Perhaps even more impressive, Naruto actually paid attention during class lectures, most of the time. I helped him in the academic areas where he struggled, and though no one considered him a genius, he wasn't the class idiot either.

Unfortunately, I could only do so much about his lack of chakra control. Obviously, I couldn't tell him about his fuzzy little friend. Even so, his natural chakra reserves were so high that it would have been difficult for him to do the simple clone jutsu even without the Kyuubi. I tried to explain that his lack of control was directly correlated to his massive chakra reserves, but he stubbornly refused to give up on the clone jutsu.

"Uzumaki, Naruto," Iruka called. I could tell he was just as nervous as his student, from the way he fingered the pen on his clipboard, and avoided eye contact with this particular student as he came to the front. Mizuki, on the other hand, had a slight smirk on his face, rather confident that the Kyuubi container would fail the final exam.

Naruto breezed through the first two jutsu, performing the substitution and transformation with ease. He wasted a lot of chakra doing them, but they were techniques that wouldn't fail even if overpowered. The illusory clone, however, required finesse.

"Clone Jutsu!" Naruto shouted, and a lumpy orange humanoid figure appeared next to him. Most of the students smirked at the failure, and Kiba barked out a laugh. I grimaced. Iruka sighed. Mizuki looked wolfish, for just an instant, before he schooled his features into a look of pitying compassion.

"I'm sorry, Naruto," Iruka said. "The Clone Jutsu is a graduation requirement. I cannot pass you." He looked up, and met Naruto's eyes. They were shimmering with tears, barely restrained. He had failed the same Clone Technique on every exam we took this year. "You can try again next year," Iruka tried to console him. "Your grades are adequate in every other area. Once you can perform this jutsu, you'll pass the exam."

Naruto couldn't speak. He just nodded in defeat, and walked back to his seat next me. I put my hand on his shoulder. "You will be a great ninja," I said. "I still believe in you. You just have to work on this one technique, or find another way to pass."

Naruto looked at me, a touch of hope in his eyes. "Is there another way?" he asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know. But if there is, I'm sure you'll find it."

I had thought about the upcoming event a lot lately, the first major event of canon, when Mizuki tricks Naruto into stealing the scroll of sealing. I had thought of a few possible ways to avoid the ordeal, but decided against it. Naruto got his signature Shadow Clone Jutsu out of it, and he just wouldn't be the same without that technique. Not to mention, it cemented the bond between him and Iruka sensei. I was pretty confident that he'd be alright; he had plot armor, right?

Naruto nodded morosely. He didn't want to be stuck at the Academy for another year, to fall behind his peers, but there was nothing he could do about it now, as far as he knew.

I watched as Ino Yamanaka, the last student to be tested, passed the exam and happily received her headband and took a seat. I smiled and gave her a congratulatory thumbs up, which she reciprocated. We had become good friends during our weekly poison classes over the past two years, having suffered together with Shika and Choji as we slowly built immunities to certain toxins.

"Alright, for those who passed, remember to be here at ten am sharp tomorrow. You will be given your team assignments, and a jounin sensei will collect you afterwards with further instruction." His eyes lingered on Naruto's depressed form for a minute, before sighing. "Class dismissed."

"I'll meet up with you tomorrow night to practice, alright Naruto?" I said, nudging his shoulder.

"Yeah, fine," he said, without any of his characteristic enthusiasm. I glanced at Sasuke. He still wasn't friends with Naruto, per se, but he had a healthy respect for the blonde boy, especially his taijutsu skills. I could tell that he was uncomfortable, even upset with the outcome. Even so, he was at a complete loss of what to say.

I gave Naruto one last shoulder nudge, and got up to file out with the rest of the students. I replaced my plain cloth headband with my new metal plated shinobi one before exiting the building. I was happy to see my own mother waiting amongst the other parents, and I was about to rush over to her, until I noticed Hiashi standing behind her. I therefore approached at a more dignified pace, though I couldn't keep the wide grin off my face. "I did it," I said happily.

My mother was smiling proudly. "Indeed. Well done, Tedashi. You will be a wonderful shinobi."

Hiashi cleared his throat, but didn't comment. Even he cracked a reserved smile as Hinata came over shortly after, her headband hanging around her neck.

"Kunoichi of the Year. I expected nothing less of you, my daughter. Well done," he said. Hinata beamed. "We shall have a banquet tonight to celebrate." He glanced our way quickly, as if it emotionally pained him to look at us. "You are, of course, invited to celebrate with us," he added afterwards, without really looking at while he did so.

I looked up at my mother in surprise. It looked like she was consciously refraining from rolling her eyes, after seeing Hiashi's desire for politeness barely overcome his personal distaste for us. "We would be honored to dine at a banquet of the main house," she replied, a bit cheekily. "I'm sure the whole clan is excited to celebrate your daughter's accomplishment. And congratulations, Hinata sama. I am sure you have a very successful career as a kunoichi ahead of you."

Hinata bowed graciously at the comment. Thankfully, her increased confidence hadn't diminished her natural kindness.

-o X o-

That night, my mother and I dressed our best before walking along the river to the Hyuuga main house.

"Do we have to go?" I whispered.

She huffed. "Yes, honey, we have to go. It won't be too bad. The attention will be on Hinata, we just have to sit quietly and eat."

I quirked my lips. "The Akimichi make better food."

"Maybe, but it's not often that we get to dine with the main branch. They will come around to accept you eventually. It will help if you act politely."

"Yeah, because that's worked so well for the last twelve years," I scoffed. But we were getting close, so I held my tongue the rest of the way to the main hall. We were right on time, and a few other Hyuuga were entering in front us.

Two guards stood sentry at the entrance, Byakugan active, though they simply nodded to us when we drew near and gestured us inside. We entered the main dining room, which had the same simplistic but elegant décor as always. The main difference was the two long tables arrayed across the room, which held expensive dishware and exquisite vases. The purple-petalled flowers decorating the tables looked foreign, and I didn't recognize them- which is saying something, given the amount of time I had spent with the Yamanakas over the past couple years. They were beautiful, and I had to wonder at the cost to import such rare flowers from a distant nation. Hiashi had gone to great expense to make this night special for his eldest daughter.

Hiashi was, of course, seated at the head of the table, with Hinata at the place of honor to his right. Next to Hinata sat Hanabi. I rarely saw the young girl, but she looked sullen next to her older sister, staring at her own hands in her lap as she sat in the proper seiza position. I didn't miss the bandages wrapping her forehead, covering the seal she received a few years ago.

My mother and I bowed to Hiashi and Hinata as we entered, who each gave us a nod of greeting in return. Hanabi didn't even look up. We headed for our seats near the far end of the second table, appropriate for our standing within the clan. But perhaps my mother was right; being at the end of the table was, conceivably, a step up from not being there at all. When my mother was temporarily detained talking to an old friend, I decided to make the rest of the way to our seats myself, eyeing the teapot with eager anticipation. The food and drink were certain to be exquisite tonight, even if it didn't quite measure up to the simple perfection of Akimichi cooking. As I poured myself a cup of steaming Jasmine tea, I decided that perhaps the night wouldn't be that bad after all.

"They allowed you to join the celebrations, boy?"

I revised that opinion upon seeing who moved to sit down at the table next to me.

"Tomo san," I greeted the man who had so kindly administered the seal to my forehead. "Hiashi sama graciously invited us himself. As Hinata's classmate, I am delighted to celebrate her success."

"Ah, yes, perhaps it's good that you two were in the same class," he replied with a sneer. I looked at him curiously. "Otherwise, you see, the only Hyuuga representation in that particular class would have been you."

I took a breath, reigning in my frustration. "Actually, I performed quite well in the Academy," I defended. "I was in the upper third of my class in overall scores."

Tomo scoffed. "Ah, bravo. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that you are content with such mediocrity. On the other hand, one might argue that it is commendable that you graduated at all, given your particular handicap. But it's hardly a secret that you compensate by whoring yourself out to the Yamanaka, the Uzumaki, and even the Uchiha in order to bastardize their techniques and make the grade. Must have learned it from your mother."

My teacup cracked in my hand, and I set it down, slowly turning my head to meet Tomo's eyes directly. A cold anger coursed through me, at the insults to myself, my friends, and my mother. He smirked victoriously.

"And then you further disparage our clan by taking up a weapon. A Hyuuga with a staff- I don't know if I should consider it humorous, or simply pathetic! It's something I would expect from the Akimichi oafs, unbecoming of the elegance of the Gentle Fist."

Our Hokage would beg to differ, I thought, and oddly enough, it calmed me down some. Tomo was a blathering idiot, insulting the weapon of choice of the Hokage; it lessened the sting of his other insults, seeing this one as so obviously and categorically false. It was enough to help me stay silent. Our conversation had drawn some curious attention from those seated nearby, and I didn't want to start a fight, especially here and now at a celebration for the clan head's daughter. Tomo was more vocally antagonistic than most of my clan, and though I didn't know his particular problem with me, I didn't want to turn the whole clan against me with something rash here, even if merited.

Before Tomo could attempt to goad me further, Hiashi stood up, prompting the rest of the room to take to their seats and cease all discussion. My mother soon took the seat to my right, eyeing Tomo coldly before focusing on Hiashi.

"Welcome, family. Today we celebrate the graduation of my daughter, Hinata. As expected of the heir to the Hyuuga clan, she graduated as top kunoichi, excelling in every field of the ninja arts. Today, we celebrate in her honor. So, let us- Argh!"

A shrill, piercing siren began to wail in the village, cutting off whatever Hiashi was going to say and causing many of the attendees to wince at the volume. The Emergency Alarm.

The room was silent save for the siren, and dozens of Byakugan activated around the room as people stretched out their vision, searching for anything amiss in the proximity. I recognized the siren's pattern as one that indicates a major domestic security threat, and my mind immediately jumped to Naruto. What did he do?

"Hiashi sama!" Our clan head was cut off as a Hyuuga guard entered the room, followed by two Anbu. Hiashi's glare cut deep, but he gestured for the man to speak.

"Hiashi sama, my deepest apologies," the guard said loudly over the alarm, while simultaneously bowing low. "There is an emergency in the village, and the Hokage himself has requested a response from all jounin level Hyuuga to search for the instigator."

I blinked in surprise. Every jounin level Hyuuga?Even the Uchiha Massacre hadn't warranted anything near such a response.

Hiashi was similarly taken aback. "What? What happened?"

"The Scroll of Sealing has been stolen!"

-o X o-

The next day, I arrived at the Academy two hours early. Everyone had been dismissed from the banquet as the jounin set out to sweep the village. Hiashi was furious at the interruption, but understood the gravity of the situation and had promptly deployed our best trackers. I was nervous; it seemed like overkill to summon every jounin in the Hyuuga clan, and who knows how many ninja from other clans. Did the village react this way in canon? What all was in the Scroll of Sealing, other than Kage Bunshin? For some reason, I thought it was just Iruka who would chase Naruto down…

I wanted to find Naruto, and make sure he was alright, but I realized I had never been to his apartment. We always met up at Ichiraku's or a training ground or some other practical location. So, I had to sit in the classroom and wait, anxiously hoping that everything that turned out ok.

To my immense relief, Naruto was the first one to arrive that morning, a full half an hour early, brimming with excitement.

"Naruto!" I called, relieved. "Ah, you're ok! And you have a headband! What happened?" I asked.

He smiled broadly, throwing his arms behind his head. "Tedashi! Yeah, I totally earned it! Cuz Mizuki sensei told me about the second chance exam, except there wasn't really one, but I did it anyway. And I got the scroll, but after I learned one jutsu he was like, 'Now give it here, you… you…' uh, well he said some mean stuff. But then Iruka sensei came and told him that I was his student, believe it!" As he got more into his story, he got more animated and less verbose. "And then we fought, but Iruka sensei got hurt. So I used my new jutsu, like BAM! And Iruka sensei was like, Woah! And Mizuki was like, Aghhh! And then Iruka gave me his headband, because I was so awesome and won!"

I stared at him for a minute. "Ah, yeah, well that clears things up," I said, stifling a laugh. "Congrats on the headband, too, though mostly I'm just glad you're alright."

He smiled sheepishly. "Yeah, well, you don't have to worry about me. I'm a real ninja now! And I can't die until I become Hokage!"

I punched his shoulder jovially. "Yeah, I'm still going to worry about you if you do stupid stuff though. Are you ready to meet your new jounin instructor?"

"Yeah I am! Who do you think will be on my team? Do you think I'll get to team up with Hinata chan? She's, like, super nice all the time. Way nicer than Sakura chan or Ino chan. And stronger too!" His eyes looked dreamy and dazed, and I flicked his forehead to snap him out of it. "Ouch! What the heck?"

"Relax, lover boy," I replied, causing him to splutter out hasty denials. "And for better or worse, I don't think you'll end up with Hinata."

"Why not?" he asked, stubbornly. "She's awesome, and I'm awesome, so if we're both on the same team, we'll be double awesome!"

I rolled my eyes. "We'll see. I'm sure Iruka sensei will explain it all later."

"Ah, yeah, that's right!" Naruto exclaimed. "If Iruka sensei is picking the teams, I'll definitely be on Hinata's team! He knows how awesome we are better than anyone!"

I decided not to burst his bubble, especially since more kids were beginning to shuffle in now. There were significantly more than the Rookie 9 that I remembered from canon, which made sense once I thought about it. Didn't Kakashi say only about 33% of the genin passed the jounin exams? And sure enough, we had 27 students ready for team assignments when Iruka entered, meaning only three teams were expected pass.

Which only made the morning all the more nerve-wracking. My team could make or break me. And what team would I be assigned to? With which teammates? If I got assigned to a team with two of the original Rookie 9, I was confident in my success. Anything less than that, and I could be in trouble. I knew the Academy usually paired clan kids up, regardless of what they say about 'balanced' teams. Who in their right mind would believe any of the original Rookie 9 teams were 'balanced,' compared to the teams of all non-clan kids? No, I suspected they picked out the kids they expected to pass, and made 'balanced' teams out of those candidates. The rest were left to their own fate.

As a Hyuuga, that should mean I get paired up with other clan kids too. However, I was a Hyuuga without the Jyuuken, and a mere branch member in a class with the clan heir. How much did they value the Byakugan alone? Would it be enough to get me on a good team? Or without the Jyuuken, would they rather send me to the Genin core, to be a low-level scout or sentry or something for the rest of my career?

"Alright class," Iruka said, once everyone had settled in. "I'll be calling out the teams, so pay attention. Team one will consist of…"

The first several teams consisted of non-clan ninja, making me wonder if they saved those who were most likely to pass for last. The original Team 10 was Ino-Shika-Cho, and I'd wager that they were considered a guaranteed success, followed by Team 8 and Team 7. But I threw a bit of a wrench in the equation.

Team after team was called, effectively sealing the fate of the non-clan kids, and reducing the remaining graduates to almost exclusively clan kids. "Team 6," Iruka called, and I focused. There were twelve students left, including the 'Rookie 9' from canon. "Tedashi Hyuuga," he called, and I straightened in both attention and anticipation. "Akiko Onikuma," he said, and the girl in question straightened in her seat. I made eye-contact with her and nodded cordially, despite my heart sinking a bit. I knew that she was from a smaller, lesser known clan, but since she wasn't one of the Rookie 9, I hadn't paid her much attention the past few years. To my surprise, she had a small black dog on her lap, which she had never brought to class before. "And…" Iruka said, a small smirk crossing his face, "Naruto Uzumaki."

"Oh, man!" Naruto exclaimed. "Why do I have to be on a team with some weird girl? Why can't we have Hinata instead and be double- no, triple awesome!" he complained.

I saw Akiko's eyes narrow. I kicked Naruto under the table.

"Hinata was the top kunoichi this year," Iruka answered, a frown crossing his face at Naruto's outburst. "To make the teams even, we are going to pair her with the year's weakest graduate. Since you were somewhere in the middle, you get paired with others who scored about the same."

My initial reaction was to a feel a bit of embarrassment at being in the same score range as Naruto, but really, he was much better this time around than in canon. Definitely not top of the class in book smarts, but above average in all the practical exams, certainly. And with him on my team, I felt much better about passing the jounin test. What were they going to do, fail their Jinchuriki?

Actually, knowing some of the ninja of the village, that option wasn't off the table…

"Team 7," Iruka continued, talking over Naruto's protests about how he should be on the best team, "is Sasuke Uchiha, Hinata Hyuuga, and Kobi Fujiwara."

Sasuke and Hinata gave each other polite nods of acknowledgement. They weren't exactly friends, but they at least respected each other's skills as ninja. They seemed to have no problems with the arrangements, unlike a few vocal fan girl kunoichi. And Naruto.

"Oh, I am so much better than Sasuke teme," he complained loudly, eliciting a scoff from the mentioned Uchiha. "Or Kobi, for that matter."

Kobi was a non-clan kid who had gotten on well with Kiba due to their similar brash, trouble-maker personalities. He wasn't exceptional in any particular field, but he was the best taijutsu fighter of all the non-clan kids, which is probably why he was considered the best option to round out the team.

"Hold on, Iruka sensei," Kobi declared. "Didn't you say that the kid with the worst scores would get paired with Edge Lord and Hyuuga hime? Why am I with them?"

"Because your academic scores were terrible," Iruka replied flatly. "Your taijutsu is fine, but you need to balance out your skills. Right now, you are at the bottom of the class rankings."

"You mean if I was at the bottom, I could have been on Hinata's team?" Naruto groaned, facepalming. He shot me a dirty look through his fingers. "I resent every minute you made me spend studying."

I shrugged, indifferent to his ranting. He was a better ninja because of it, and we both knew it.

"Moving on," Iruka announced, cutting off the chatter again. "Team 8 will be Shino Aburame, Sakura Haruno, and Kiba Inuzuka." There were no verbal complaints this time around, though Sakura looked at Shino with a little trepidation. This team would have similar skills to that of canon Team 8, substituting Sakura's support skills for Hinata's Byakugan. Sakura was the same as ever, brilliant academically but still a fangirl who didn't take her practical exercises seriously enough. If Kurenai was her sensei, I bet she would shake her from that mindset faster than Kakashi did. Their team had some good potential.

"Team 10 will be Ino Yamanaka, Shikamaru Nara, and Choji Akimichi," Iruka finished, not surprising me. Not that it surprised anyone else either, given that they were the last three students to be assigned a team. Ino gave a huff of displeasure, but it was mostly for show. Their team would be fine as well. I was more interested in who our jounin sensei would be.

"Alright, everyone, now you just have to wait here for you jounin instructor to come pick you up," Iruka said cheerfully. "In fact, I believe some are already-"

He was cut off when the door was kicked open, nearly coming off the hinges from the force. A kunoichi confidently strode into the room, wearing a tight mesh body suit that really didn't look appropriate for the eyes of children, with a short orange mini-skirt and large tan overcoat. I hadn't seen her in this life, but I immediately knew who I was staring at. I mean, ninja observing, not just staring, of course.

"Sup, brats. Anko Mitarashi, the sexy sensei of Team 6, in the flesh!" she declared. In the flesh, indeed, I thought. Upon closer inspection (again, tactical ninja observation), the mesh bodysuit had a skin-colored cloth underneath it that technicallymaintained her dignity, though you had to really look in order to see that it was there. I suppose that was the point. And why was she describing herself as sexy to a bunch of twelve-year-old's? Kinda creepy, honestly.

"So, where my kiddos at?"" she declared, as if she hadn't picked us out immediately upon walking in.

"Are you kidding me?!" Naruto exclaimed, jumping to his feet and pointing. "This crazy lady is our sensei? She doesn't even look like a real ninja!"

Bold words from the kid in the orange jumpsuit, but I kept that to myself.

Ting!

Everyone went silent for a moment as a senbon bounced off of Naruto's forehead protector, falling onto his desk. "You got a problem, brat?" Anko asked, grinning maliciously. "I can put the next one right between your eyes, if you doubt my aim."

Naruto's mouth hung open. Iruka was equally appalled. I took the opportunity to prevent the fiasco from escalating further by standing up and bowing politely. "Anko sensei, it is a pleasure to meet you," I greeted, then grabbed Naruto by the collar and dragged him out of his seat. "Are we going to do introductions somewhere? If so, please lead the way."

"Ah, yeah, there's the stuffy Hyuuga brat," she said dismissively. "And where's the third one? Something that started with an 'A', I think."

"Ah, here! I'm Akiko Onikuma," our third teammate answered, a little startled.

"Right, right. C'mon then, you lot," she said, turning on her heel and walking out. The rest of the class watched in horrified silence as we followed her out the door.

"Er, some jounin are a little eccentric," I heard Iruka explaining as we left. "But don't worry, most aren't nearly so-"

The door closed, preventing me from hearing exactly what he was about to call Anko sensei. We followed her down the hall, passing Kurenai and Asuma as they made their own way to the classroom. Kurenai looked delighted to see Anko with her students in tow, and wished her luck as we passed; Asuma just sent us all looks of pity.

Well, that more or less confirmed my suspicions for the various team leaders, assuming Kakashi still took Sasuke and Team 7. I wondered briefly if they would be able to pass the bell test, but then realized I had my own problem to worry about right now.

Anko led us through Konoha to an empty training ground, before bringing us to a stop. "Alright, brats. Listen up. You passed the Academy exams, whoop-de-doo. Now I get to test you to see if you are really worth my time to train or not. Based off of what I've seen so far, I doubt it."

"What?! You haven't seen nothing, yet!" Naruto yelled. "And another test? What about the Academy test? We all passed, you can't fail us now!"

"Shut up, brat!" Anko returned, seemingly just as worked up as Naruto. "Yeah, sure, you passed the Baby Ninja exam, congrats on that. But now I get to decide if I want to train you. If I like you, I'll put you through my special brand of training straight out of hell to turn you into elite ninja badasses who don't take crap from anyone. If I decide you're not worth my time, you will end up in the genin core forever, doing baby missions for the rest of your life. So quit whining and start impressing."

Naruto looked mutinous, but the promise of ninja badassery was enough to keep his attention for a moment, at least.

"All right, first things first. Introductions. Likes, dislikes, hobbies, goals, that kind of stuff," Anko said, crossing her arms and sliding her gaze across each of us. "I'll go first. I'm Anko Mitarashi, sexiest kunoichi in all of Konoha and certified BAMF. I like dango, snakes, and making baby ninja cry. I dislike traitors, liars, and sissies. My hobbies are eating dango, interrogating criminals, and looking damn fine everywhere I go. My goal is to murder the shit out of a certain S-ranked missing nin. Alright, who's next?"

The three of us looked at each other briefly, before Naruto spoke up. "I'm Naruto Uzumaki, and I'm going to be Hokage!" he declared, getting Anko to raise an unimpressed eyebrow. "I like ramen, Hinata chan, and kicking Tedashi's butt in spars." My eye twitched. "I dislike waiting three minutes for ramen to cook, and sensei who try to trick and betray me." Anko snorted. "My hobbies are eating ramen and pranking people. And like I said earlier, my goal is to become Hokage!" He finished by pumping his fist into the air, daring anyone to question him on it. When they didn't, he sat back down and crossed his arms.

"Alright, not bad. Who's next?" Anko asked.

"I'll go," I said, trying to think of what would impress Anko sensei. "I am Tedashi Hyuuga. I like training with friends, and I dislike it when people don't get along. My hobbies are training and reading. My goal… I guess my goal is to get strong enough to fight S-rank missing nin and change the Hyuuga clan," I said, thoughtfully. Being on Naruto's team meant I'd probably get caught up in an Akatsuki fight eventually; I would prefer to not die. Anko levelled me with a sharp stare, and I shrugged.

"Nerd," she snorted. I scrunched my nose in distaste, but didn't dispute it. "Ambitious, but otherwise more or less typical of the Hyuuga branch family. Alright, last one. Who are you?"

I forcefully ignored sensei's commentary and looked over at Akiko, whom I had never taken into account before today. She was a pale skinned girl, and a bit shorter than Naruto, which meant she looked really tiny to be a ninja. I knew size didn't matter too much to a shinobi, but she probably wouldn't be able to hold up for long in physical altercations. I didn't know anything about her combat style, but I knew the Onikuma were a small clan somewhere in Konoha. However, that didn't explain the black furred puppy she held to her chest; as far as I knew, only the Inuzuka used ninken. And the Hatake, I guess, but I doubted she belonged to either of those clans.

She wore a flowing red and white battle kimono over her slender frame, and red fingerless gloves that had some kind of seal of the palms. A pearl necklace hung around her neck, which was an odd accessory for a ninja. She had freckles and jet-black hair, with was tied back in a long pony tail that fell just past her shoulders. Her brown eyes stared at sensei.

She was also frowning. "I'm Akiko Onikuma, and this is my partner Sokudo. I like dogs and training with my brother. I dislike it when people talk bad about my clan. My hobbies are drawing and talking to demons." Wait, what the- "And my goal is to become an A-rank," she glanced at me for a second, "no, an S-rank ninja that helps my clan gain prominence and respect."

I was half impressed, half bewildered. At least she wasn't a fan girl. I kept a neutral expression, but Naruto was looking at her in open mouthed horror.

"You… you talk to demons? For fun?" he asked, taken aback. She nodded defiantly and stared him down until Naruto looked away.

"Great!" Anko said, an overly exuberant smile on her face. "Well, at least my first potential batch of munchkins aren't all boring. Here's the plan. After getting to know you a bit more, I've concluded that you probably all suck. If I could, I'd drop you all in the forest of death and train whoever survives the longest. But since the Hokage vetoed that method, I offer you this alternative. I'll let one of you become my apprentice, if you can prove yourself worthy. If you can take this bell from me," she said, holding up the target item, "I'll train you."

Then she smirked. "However, you S-rank wannabes are all way too weak to take it from me as you are now. You would have to be at least ten times stronger than your current level to even stand a chance." Her face took on a sinister look, and she pulled out a vial of red liquid. "Lucky for you, I have a potion that will do just that. A concoction of my own creation, that will multiply your chakra and make you into a badass worthy of my tutelage. But I only brought one, so you'll have to fight for it. Ready? Begin!"

With a casual flick of the wrist, she tossed the vial between us and stood back to watch. We glanced at it, then slowly raised our gazes to one another. It felt like a western showdown, as our eyes bounced between each other. What is the point of vial? I wondered. She is probably testing us to see if we turn on each other, but why not just use the bell for that end?

"Now, let's talk this out," I suggested, after a couple seconds pause.

"Too slow!" Anko called, suddenly appearing in our midst while blurring through hand seals. "Earth style, Rock Catapult!"

She slammed a palm against the ground, and three earth pillars jutted up from the ground at 45-degree angles, each striking one of us in the stomach and sending us flying through the air in different directions.

"Oof," I muttered, landing hard on my back. I activated my Byakugan, not fond of being caught off guard, and hopped back to my feet.

How can I rally my team? Naruto would probably listen to me, but Akiko was an unknown quantity. Okay, start simple then. I started rushing towards Naruto.

"Oh ho, taking out your competition?" Anko asked, watching me run towards Naruto. "Good plan, to take out the weak link first." Naruto looked affronted and confused, and I was a little hurt when he dropped into a suspicious ready stance.

"Knock it off, dimwit," I said, holding up my hands as I neared. Naruto had the grace to look a little sheepish about his defensiveness, and stood up straight again. "We can't beat her individually, and I bet that potion is a fake. We should work together. If we win, we can decide what to do with the bell afterwards. Got it?"

He nodded. "Sorry, after Mizuki sensei, I… Well, never mind. Yeah, let's team up, we can get it and rock paper scissors for it. 50-50 is better than nothing, right?" he said, smiling.

"No," I replied, shaking my head. "We need to get Akiko in on it too. It wouldn't be right to exclude our teammate, even if our team is only for today, right?" He looked a bit conflicted as he thought about it, then nodded firmly in agreement. "Alright, do you have any good distraction techniques?"

His face lit up. "Oh yeah, wait until you see my new Shadow Clone Jutsu!" he said excitedly. "I can make a ton of them!"

"That's perfect. You send your clones in to hold her off, while the real you and me go and convince Akiko to work with us."

"Yeah, sounds good," he agreed. Then I noticed Anko sic her snakes on our third teammate behind us.

"Oh, not good," I muttered, suddenly whirling around. "We gotta go, now! Akiko and Sokudo are in trouble."

Akiko was barely holding on as Anko barraged her in taijutsu, while two snakes slithered in the grass on either side, nipping at Sokudo. We dashed towards them, and Anko landed a solid kick to Akiko's stomach before turning to us. "Oh? A two on one? I said you would need ten times the power to beat me. Two of you don't stand a chance."

Naruto grinned maniacally. "Ten times? I can do way better than that!" he called, forming his hands into a cross seal. "Shadow Clone Jutsu!"

I watched as twenty-five clones popped into existence, then I grabbed the real Naruto by the wrist and took off for where Akiko was still getting up. The two snakes were still approaching her.

"Ha! I take it back!" Anko laughed. "You must be worse than I thought. A hundred of you couldn't defeat me!"

Don't tempt him.

"Summoning Jutsu!"

Several more snakes burst from the ground, quickly wiping out half the clones. The rest turned to defend themselves, leaving Anko free to shoot straight at us.

"Go!" I yelled, shoving Naruto forward and turning to face her. I pulled a standard sealing scroll out of my pocket, releasing my bo staff as I faced down my potential sensei. She led with a simple straight punch, but my Byakugan could see the small snakes hidden in her sleeve. Creepy.

At least I was ready for them when they sprang out. Immediately after I deflected her fist, four snake heads shot out, fangs open and aiming for my extended arm. But having seen them coming, I was fast enough to pull back, twirling the staff and knocking the snakes away in the process. All four dispelled.

"Not bad, kid," she said, smirking deviously. "Not the style I expected from a Hyuuga. If you go for the potion, you might be able to get a bell."

"I don't think my sanity could survive being your sole apprentice," I replied, getting her to blink in confusion. "Although, if I had two teammates with me to help balance it out…"

She grinned. "Oh ho, not bad, Hyuuga boy, seeing through the test like that. Unfortunately, that just means that I'll have to take you out of the game now."

Her other summons had finished off Naruto's clones, and the six surviving snakes began to approach me, in a horizontal line formation. These were significantly larger than the ones in her sleeve, each at least ten feet in length, and they slithered forward with their heads three to four feet off the ground. Behind me, I could see Naruto and Akiko fighting together against a couple snakes themselves, but they seemed to be holding their own.

Sticking my bo staff to my back with chakra, I dropped into a defensive stance and drew four shuriken, two in each hand. I took aim and let them fly, two headed for each of the outermost snakes. As expected, the snakes fanned out a little wider in order to dodge.

But with a flick of the wrist, I tugged the hidden ninja wire I had attached to each pair of shuriken tight, causing them to ricochet off each other. Both of the outermost snakes were struck by a deflected shuriken, but it wasn't enough to force them to dispel. Meanwhile, the two inner shuriken deflected towards the middle snakes, but passed by them harmlessly. With another twist, I grabbed the ninja wire firmly, causing the shuriken to double back and loop around the inner snakes, constricting tightly before the shuriken circled around and plunged into the last two snakes. The two innermost snakes dispelled from the force of the ninja wire constriction, leaving four snakes still standing, each with a single shuriken stuck in them.

"Not bad," Anko said lazily. "But a single shuriken isn't enough to dispel these snakes."

I grinned and made a hand seal. "Boom."

"What?"

The four shuriken exploded. Did the Uchiha of old usually inscribe exploding seals on their shuriken? I don't know, but they had explained how to do it in their nifty little book. It added some very useful stopping power to their finesse techniques.

Anko looked mildly surprised. "Not bad kid. But don't get a big head yet. You're getting tunnel vision."

I scoffed. "I'm a Hyuuga, how can-"

She pointed at my feet.

Two little snakes burst out of small burrows in the ground, each burying their fangs into one of my calves. I yelped, and quickly expelled chakra from the places they were biting, knocking them away, but it was too late. I could feel the poison taking hold of me.

"Oh," I said, dropping to my knees as my legs went numb. My body was starting to tingle and stiffen. I recognized the sensation as the onset of fast-acting paralysis, but I had only built immunities to a few plants; they seemed to offer no resistance to animal venom.

"Tedashi!"

I heard Naruto cry out, but couldn't even turn to look at him.

"Naruto, you have to-"

I was cut off as Anko blurred forward, slapping a paper tag across my lips, effectively silencing me. Using my Byakugan, I could read the tag attached to my lips- it was explosive. What the hell? My sensei just slapped a live exploding tag across my mouth? If I tried to rip it off with a chakra expulsion, I could blow my own head off! She's insane!

The paralysis continued to intensify, and I fell to the ground face first, body going rigid. I could still see everything through my Byakugan, but I could no longer move or speak.

"He wasn't half bad," Anko complimented as Naruto and Akiko rushed over. "If only he had more power… but you are all just so weak. For the love of dango, will someone please prove that they won't be a waste of my time?"

"We'll fight you together!" Naruto exclaimed, calling forth another twenty clones. Akiko dropped into a ready stance beside him, Sokudo growling softly between them.

"Oh? Really? By fighting together, you only double your power. You need so much more than that. Tell you what, Orangy," Anko said in a low, conspiratorial voice, "if you take out the girl and pup, I won't even stop you from taking the potion. You'll be able to show me what you can really do."

Naruto glanced at Akiko, then to me, then back to Anko, eyes blazing. "Screw your potion! I'm not hurting my teammates, you psycho! Akiko, let's go!"

Akiko nodded, and made some quick hand seals. "Spirit Summoning Jutsu, Wolverine Possession!" She planted her hand on her chest, and the seal on her glove glowed and spread out across her own body. Her eyes narrowed, irises becoming a dull red instead of her normal brown. Her fingernails sharpened, her teeth became pointed, and her overall demeanor became more feral. When she spoke again, it was shrill and higher pitched. "I'm ready!"

Naruto took a full second to stare at her minor transformation in surprise, before turning back towards Anko. Akiko charged in first, while Naruto's mini-army of clones surrounded Anko to provide back up. Akiko jumped and pirouetted through the air, finishing with an airborne swipe of the claws aimed at her opponent's head. Anko sensei, however, was unphased.

"Channeling the spirit of a minor demon beast?" she said, casually blocking the blow with one arm. "Are the low-level beasts the only ones that you have enough chakra and control for? You'll need more than that!"

A snake darted out of her sleeve, bit into the back of Akiko's jacket, and flung her away. Anko made another quick flurry of hand seals, then spun in circle. "Burning Spear Barrage!" She began spitting flaming wooden… dango sticks? Unorthodox, but effective against Naruto's clones, who were all dispelled in short order.

The real Naruto took a spear to the shoulder, and began putting out the flame in a panic. "Pay attention, dumbass!" Anko called as she slid behind him. Naruto looked over his shoulder in a moment of fear, seeing Anko crouched behind him. "Konoha Secret Technique," she called, readying her fingers. No, it couldn't be… "A Thousand Years of Death!"

It is. Apparently, that was a Konoha technique, not just something Kakashi made up. Naruto yelped in pain as Anko sensei executed the jutsu, and I managed a wince despite my near total paralysis. It had to take a lot of force to send him airborne like that. It suddenly dawned on me that if Kakashi's only original technique was Chidori, that means he originally observed someone else using this jutsu with his Sharingan… and that's a story I'm not sure I want to hear.

With Naruto out of the fight for the moment, Anko refocused on Akiko and Sokudo, both of whom were growling lowly as she approached. "Well, looks like the other two are out of the fight," Anko said cheerfully. "This is your last chance. Why waste the effort of fighting a hopeless battle?"

The vial was laying between Anko and Akiko. I didn't doubt that it was intentional. Akiko sprinted for it, and Anko made no move to stop her. "Now we're talking. Finally, showing some guts," said Anko.

Akiko picked it up and looked at it. Naruto had gotten to his feet by now and was limping back towards the battle. I was still down and helpless.

"Did I speak too soon?" Anko chided, egging Akiko on. "Wait are you waiting for? Chickening out?"

She turned and hurled the vial towards Naruto. "Give it to Tedashi, maybe it'll overpower the poison!" she yelled. "Sokudo and I'll hold her off!"

Naruto reached for the vial, but a snake burst out of the ground before it reached him, swallowing the vial whole before dispelling. Naruto gulped. So much for that plan.

"Hah!" Anko barked out a laugh. "You would rather revitalize your teammate than power up?" Akiko and Naruto stared back obstinately. "Well, then I have only one thing to say to a bunch of brats like you." She smiled brightly, which somehow I did not associate with happy outcomes for us. "You pass! I'll take the lot of you!" she declared.

"What!?" Naruto exclaimed. Akiko looked a bit shell-shocked, but her feral traits receded as she released her jutsu. I still couldn't react at all. "But we didn't get the bell," he said, confused.

"Pshh. The bell didn't matter. I was testing to see if you guys could work together, and if you put the wellbeing of your comrades above acquiring more power for yourself," she explained. "You all want to become tremendously powerful. Good. All ninjas want to get stronger. If you don't get stronger, you die. Simple. But if one of my students betrays his own comrades in the pursuit of power," she let the words hang for a moment, and a sliver of killing intent permeated the training ground, "then I'll kill him myself."

The field was absolutely silent as the threat sank in.

"But I'm sure that won't be a problem!" Anko declared jubilantly, breaking the tension. "You're still a bunch of baby ninja in my book, but now you're my baby ninja. And I'm about to force some growth formula down your gullets! But first of all, let's celebrate! To the dango stand!"

"Yatta!" Naruto cheered. "Then we can get ramen for lunch! Let's go Anko sensei!" They both started walking towards the commercial district. Thankfully I had one teammate whose head wasn't under the dictatorship of her stomach.

"Uh, Anko sensei? Can you, like, fix Tedashi first?" Akiko asked.

Anko froze mid-step, and let out a nervous chuckle. "Of course, of course. That was just one last test of teamwork, making sure you don't forget your comrades and all. You pass again! Let's go unfreeze the poor bastard."

My eyebrow twitched again, apparently the only part of my body that wasn't completely frozen. This dango-obsessed, snake loving psycho was going to be my jounin sensei. Hurrah.