The remainder of their time at the Tipani Hometree passed by in a blur for Jake, his own voice, blurted out so recklessly, playing back as if on loop in his own head. Was he destined, or, more accurately, cursed, he wondered, to conduct himself in much the same way every time he was introduced to a new Na'vi leader? Doomed to let his thoughts fall from his mouth like bile, desperate and unhindered by social graces? Sure, it had worked this time, and it had worked before with Eytukan on his first day, but how many more times would his complete lack of self-censorship and control serve them well? Perhaps next time it would get them kicked out or earn him a well-deserved blow from an offended tribe's weapon of choice.
His thoughts were calmed, for the moment, when a familiar hand slipped into his, Tsu'tey's four fingers intertwining with his five.
"You did well, my Jake," Tsu'tey said quietly as they walked, allowing themselves to be led back to their pa'lis.
Jake couldn't help the scoff that broke from his throat, "I acted like an ass."
"You spoke from the heart," Neytiri cut in, sidling up beside them, "she recognized this and believed your words because of it."
"One person's 'speaking from the heart' is another person's 'disrespect'," Jake frowned, resisting the urge to kick at the ground like a child.
"I believe you knew she needed to be given an earnest explanation," Tsu'tey said thoughtfully, squeezing Jake's hand slightly, "even if you did not know that you knew."
"Oh, wow," Jake rolled his eyes, "that's a helpful observation, so I'm supposed to just assume that my idiotic impulses are because my subconscious knows how to read the room."
"Well," Neytiri hummed, bringing a finger to her chin as though seriously considering his words, as they came to a stop beside their pa'lis, "your ability to be an idiot has to be useful in some way. Perhaps this is it."
Jake made a swipe at her with his free hand, forgetting for a moment that they were still in Tipani territory, surrounded by Tipani warriors, as Neytiri danced away from him with a laugh.
"Are you three always like this?" a voice sounded from beside them.
They looked over to see a Tipani warrior, his features hidden behind a mask made of what appeared to be bone. It was the first time they had heard a warrior, besides the one from the first escorting party, speak. They bristled somewhat at the words, just a slight drawing of the shoulders.
They knew, however much they liked to forget, that they were held in higher regard than the common Na'vi, given the future positions they would one day hold, but that didn't mean they couldn't be offended by the implications of the warrior's question. They weren't the leaders of the Omaticaya clan yet, so who was to say they couldn't hold hands and insult and laugh with each other if they chose, hell, who was to say they couldn't continue to do those things even when they did take up their roles in the future—they weren't sure they could stop if they tried.
Three mouths opened, getting ready to say as much, to ask what right he had to police their behavior, when the warrior continued, beating them to the punch.
"It is very funny," they still couldn't see the warrior's face, but Jake could almost picture it—he wouldn't be smiling, he sounded too serious, his voice too earnest, but his eyes would be alight with humor, "you three are very interesting."
Jake laughed at that, laughed so hard he doubled over, and he only laughed harder when he heard Neytiri's voice above him, laced with her own laughter, "oh, good, you broke him."
If they heard the warrior give a slight chuckle from behind his mask, they did not mention it, allowing him the dignity of pretending he was as stoic as a Tipani warrior was expected to be.
The scene was only permitted to continue a moment longer before the sound of Eytukan clearing his throat cut through the air, "if you three are quite done disturbing our hosts, we must be on our way back to our own territory."
The trio offered scattered apologies and affirmations, giving the Tipani warrior they were supposedly disturbing a nod, before turning away and mounting their pa'li in smooth, practiced motions.
-x-
Jake lay beside Tsu'tey that night in their hammock, leaving the fibers open for the moment so they could stare up passed the canopy and into the night sky.
"We don't have a lot of time left," Jake said softly, the words falling weakly from his lips.
"We have enough time," Tsu'tey reasoned, reaching out, seeking out Jake's hand to clasp it in his own, rubbing his thumb over the knuckles.
"What if it's not? What if we can't-"
"Eywa brought you here for a reason," Tsu'tey's voice hardened marginally as he spoke, the tone denoting the seriousness of the words, "she would not have brought you here to die."
Jake let out a long breath, wishing he was about to say something reassuring, "Eywa does not take sides," it was something Jake had heard many times when Tsu'tey was growing up, "maybe she brought me here so we won't die without each other."
Tsu'tey released Jake's hand in favor of propping himself up on his elbow so he could stare down at the other man, whose mouth was set in a solemn line, "you are right," Tsu'tey frowned down at Jake, taking his free hand and placing it heavy against the center of Jake's chest, "Eywa brought you here so we will not die without each other, but that will not be in the two months' time to which you are referring. It will happen much later, when we are old, and our lives come to their natural end."
Jake huffed out a bitter laugh, despite how much he knew the sound would sting the other man, "you are letting hope overtake logic," Jake reached up to run the back of his hand gently against the line of Tsu'tey's jaw, "we are about to enter a war, my love, not everyone is going to survive and you and I are on the front lines. I got to come here, by Eywa or dumb luck or my own stubborn pig-headedness, and that is all I have ever wanted. If I'm meant to die for this, for you, then that's something I can live with."
Jake watched the tears pricking at the edges of Tsu'tey's eyes, watched as he tried to blink them away, watched as he tried to school his expression into something cold, something indifferent, and it hurt him more than any bullet ever could.
"I will not let you die," Tsu'tey ground out, his jaw set, his fingers pressing harshly into Jake's flesh, "I will lay down my life before I let anyone take you away."
"Hey," Jake soothed, hooking his hand behind Tsu'tey's neck to pull the other man down until he was resting against Jake's chest, his face hidden behind a wave of braids, "none of that," Jake rubbed small circles against the small of Tsu'tey's back and pretended he didn't feel the trembling of the other man's body, "if you die, I die, got it? So, none of that kamikaze, self-sacrificing bullshit, because I'll just come follow right after you to kick the shit out of you. You're far more important than I am, if anyone gets to claim some one-sided suicide pact, it's me."
"Do not say that," Tsu'tey's fingers spasmed against Jake's sides, as though he desperately wanted to grasp at the skin there, but couldn't muster the fine motor skills to pull it off, "never say that you are more important than me."
Jake chuckled a bit, though there was no humor in it, "Tsu'tey, you are going to be Olo'eyktan, I'm just your…" he waved the hand not rubbing against Tsu'tey's back in the air above them, as though this was something he was just now thinking of and not something that plagued his mind near constantly, "consort."
"And" Tsu'tey spoke with a tone Jake could not decipher, his face still hidden, "if I were to die, you would become the next Olo'eyktan."
Jake's brain short circuited at that, unable to process the information he was just given for several long moments, his hand stilled against Tsu'tey's skin, "What?"
"Yes," Tsu'tey continued in that imperceivable tone, "so, please," his voice broke, tearing Jake's heart out with it, "never say that I am more important than you."
"You know," Jake resumed his gentle movements against Tsu'tey's back, "it's not fair when you use politics to win arguments."
That earned a chuckle from the other man, but it came out strained, as though it clawed its way from his throat, "you are my everything, yawntu," the words were thick, warbled as they left his lips, and Jake wanted nothing more than to lift Tsu'tey's face so he could look at him, but could not bring himself to rid the man of his protective barrier, of his scrap of dignity, "I could not go on if I were to lose you."
"And you think I could?" Jake tried to keep his voice from shaking, but he couldn't quite manage to mask it, "You think I could stand beside Neytiri and carry on in your place? That I wouldn't fall apart so completely that she wouldn't throw me off a cliff in frustration?"
A tension seemed to ease in Tsu'tey at the words, the line of his shoulders lessening as he pressed in closer to Jake's warm body beneath him.
"You would make a wonderful Olo'eyktan," Tsu'tey spoke softly, his breath puffing against Jake's side.
"Maybe," he shrugged as best he could with the other Na'vi draped over him, "we're never gonna have to find out, because I'm gonna make a great right-hand man."
"I thought you said Eywa does not take sides," Tsu'tey pressed a kiss against Jake's skin, fingers flexing against his sides.
Jake hummed, reaching down with his free hand to grasp at the other man, pulling him upward until he was straddling Jake's hips, his braids falling, framing his face as he gazed down at Jake.
Even in the dark of the night, Jake could see how bloodshot the other man's eyes were, rimmed in a deep purple, slightly puffy around the edges. He reached up with both hands, cupping at Tsu'tey's jaw for a moment before swiping his thumbs across his cheeks, feeling the residual wetness there that matched where Tsu'tey's face had been resting against his side.
He felt a tugging in his chest, guilt at how much the conversation had affected the other man, guilt at how much he appreciated Tsu'tey allowing him to see him so vulnerable.
"I love you," Jake breathed out into the space between them, overwhelmed as Tsu'tey turned his head in Jake's hands to press a kiss against his palm.
"I love you," Tsu'tey offered a slightly watery smile, clearly fighting through his discomfort of being so exposed.
"I wish I could stay here," Jake rubbed his thumbs over the sharp line of Tsu'tey's cheekbones, "I wish I could fall asleep here and wake up to you in the morning, no link, no human body, just here with you."
"I wish this as well," Tsu'tey spoke softly, bringing his hands up from where they'd been hanging idle at his sides to rest over Jake's, "though it is nice getting to see you in your human body before you retire in your bunk."
"Oh yeah?" Jake let out a soft laugh, "does my human body do it for ya?"
From where his hands were still pressed against Tsu'tey's face, Jake was able to feel the blush burn its way across the other man's cheeks before he muttered out a reply, "do not be vulgar."
Jake had to stifle a full bellied laugh, not wanting to wake Neytiri, or the rest of the tribe for that matter, before he continued, teasing mercilessly, "I didn't hear you say no."
Jake was completely unaffected by the glare Tsu'tey shot him as the blush crept from his cheeks up to the tips of his ears, before he huffed out, "of course I am attracted to your human body, we have been over this. I love all versions of you, which body you are in is inconsequential to my feelings for you."
Affection effectively quelled any further desire to continue prodding at the disgruntled man, a soft smile spreading across his face as he conceded, "I know, I was just teasing, I like seeing you flustered."
"I was not flustered," Tsu'tey protested, but allowed himself to be pulled down to lay next to Jake all the same.
"No, of course not," Jake grinned, pressing a kiss against the bridge of the other man's nose, "my mistake."
Tsu'tey huffed, but argued no further, allowing them to slip into a comfortable silence, pressed close against one another until Jake spoke once more.
"I wonder what we'd dream about if we did sleep together," his voice was thoughtful, quiet between them, "you said your mom told you this was Eywa blessing us with visions of each other when we're apart, right? So, I wonder what happens when we're together."
Tsu'tey was quiet for a moment, trying to remember everything his mother had ever told him about his bond, but there had never been much talk about what happened after, "I do not know, I never thought to ask."
Jake hummed, twining their hands together as he thought, "maybe we'd just have dreams like normal people. I wonder what that's like."
"I am to understand they are just fractured stories laid out by the mind, rarely do they make sense and rarely do people remember them afterwards," Tsu'tey mused, pressing himself closer to Jake as he spoke.
Jake nodded, staying quiet for a beat before turning his head to look at Tsu'tey, who met his gaze with soft, searching eyes, "I think I'd prefer to keep dreaming of you."