I'm sorry if there are a few more errors than usual in this chapter, I let myself get a bit emotional writing it, I hope you all enjoy it!
It wasn't that Jake had expected fanfare when he awoke the morning of the ritual, he didn't expect the clouds to part and some disembodied voice to call from the heavens and wish him luck or reassure him that all would be well, but he hadn't expected it to feel so normal.
He woke in his bunk and felt, more or less, no different than any other day. It certainly didn't feel like he was about to be going on some mysterious spiritual journey, probably leaving his human body behind forever, possibly not coming back at all.
He sat up and lowered himself into his chair, just like every morning, and rolled his way down the hallway past Norm, who gave him a smile that perhaps pulled too tightly at the edges and offered a greeting that sounded a bit stilted. He didn't see Grace or Trudy, but he could hear them chatting nearby, their voices almost normal.
It wasn't until he'd arrived in their small bathroom, the door closed behind him, staring at his own face in the mirror that a heavy feeling started to press into his abdomen. He'd never cared too much for his own face, always found it a bit too broad, but it looked a bit different now that this would be the last time he ever looked at his reflection and this face looked back at him.
Jake poked at his cheeks and jaw, feeling the stubble that would never again be present on his face. He stared at freckles across his nose he soon wouldn't remember the placement of. He scrubbed his hands through his hair that would never be short again and looked into his eyes that would never be blue again.
This was the face he'd always known, the face his mother had loved. He wondered vaguely if she would recognize him in the body he was about to tie his soul to, if she would've been able to carve out his face in her mind like an artist would a slab of marble.
Jake splashed some cold water on his face, giving himself one last look, before exiting the bathroom, following the sound of voices.
Grace and Norm were trying to act casual, for his and Trudy's sake, but they weren't very good actors.
"Those two will be here soon to collect you both," Grace said after their silence had stretched too long, after they'd run out of things to pretend to talk about, "I feel like a mom sending her kids off to college."
They laughed at that, though it came out a bit strained.
"It'll be weird with just me and Grace here," Norm fiddled with the spoon in his empty bowl of what had been oatmeal, his eyes crinkled in a sad expression.
"I mean," Jake tried, turning his head to look out one of the windows, "it's not like you won't see us, we'll be at Hometree same as you."
"Yeah," Grace nodded, her smile sad, "I'll miss dragging information out of you every night."
"You'll just have to torture Norm a bit more to make up for my absence," Jake laughed, rolling back out of Norm's range as the man went to kick at him.
Grace hummed, "nah, he's not as fun to mess with, he doesn't cry nearly as much as you."
Any other day Jake might've worked a little harder to be offended by that, but instead he just scoffed and said, "oh, nice, see, good, now I'm glad I'm not coming back here."
It wasn't true, not entirely. He would miss it there, at least a little bit. But it wasn't as though he was saying goodbye, and that made it easier.
There was a knock at the door, and Jake and Trudy took at moment to stare at one another, letting the gravity of what was about to happen sink in just a bit more.
The three sitting around the small table stood, after a breath, and all four of them made their way towards the exit, grabbing masks as they went.
Tsu'tey and Neytiri stood near the entrance, looking about as nervous as the rest of them.
"So," Grace said, staring up at the two Na'vi, "how're you planning on getting this one there?" She jutted her thumb towards Jake, "you got a Baby Bjorne or a papos or something?"
"You're hilarious," Jake muttered.
"I do not know what these things are," Tsu'tey's brow raised, the joke lost on him, Jake had never been around many babies, "we have rope," he held up a length of rope as though to prove his point, "I will strap Jake to my back."
"Oh great, so my last few hours in this body can have as little dignity as possible, that's wonderful," Jake huffed, ignoring the laughs being hidden behind hands around him.
Tsu'tey gave him a little shrug that felt like an apology, "you cannot stand to ride the íkran with me, it only makes sense."
"I know," Jake sighed with a small smile, "doesn't mean I can't complain about it."
Tsu'tey nodded as though he made a good point, as though he wasn't stalling.
"Hey, look on the bright side," Trudy nudged him with her hip, "at least Tsu'tey's a good flyer."
"I am a good flyer!" Neytiri protested, her fist balling in indignance.
"No," Tsu'tey shook his head solemnly, "no you are not."
Neytiri scoffed, clicking her tongue, like she couldn't believe she was being ganged up on, "whatever," she turned towards where their íkrans were waiting, flipping a few braids over her shoulder as she did, "we must be on our way. I promise not to crash and kill us on the way there."
"That would be appreciated," Trudy chuckled, shooting Jake a grin before turning to look at Grace and Norm, "we'll see you two there, yeah?"
"Yeah," Grace nodded, she wasn't looking at them, instead looking out into the mist beneath them, "we'll be there."
Jake stared at her for a moment for rolling forward, closing the few feet between them to hold out his hand. It took a few seconds for Grace to turn her head and stare down at the offered hand, before looking up at him, the plexiglass of her mask fogging slightly, obscuring her eyes from him.
"I know this isn't really goodbye, and I know I'll see you again in a bit," Jake said, his hand still outstretched, "but it's the last time we're ever gonna see each other like this and I just wanted to say thanks. I know we didn't start off in the best way, but I wouldn't be here, I wouldn't be able to have done all this without you."
Grace stared at him another moment before she raised her arm as though to take Jake's offered hand in her own. She seemed, however, to think better of it, choosing instead to smack his arm away. Before he could protest, before he could ask what her problem was, Grace was bending at the waist in front of him and wrapping her arms around his shoulders, pulling him into her as best she could.
"Don't say sappy shit like that, asshole," she pressed into his shoulder, her voice shaking and wet, "I don't want to hear about any shit I've done for you. Do you have any idea... I was... I was so wrong about you. I was about to give up, let them beat me down and send me home but then... your dumbass comes crashing in and you kicked me in the teeth and you gave me something to work for again. Then... you got me my place back, got me my life back. Thank me? Fuck you. You never need to thank me."
Jake wasn't sure when his arms had reached up to circle around Grace's chest, but that's how he found himself once silence fell around them, before he pulled her in a little tighter, paying no mind to the awkward position they were holding, "well, we'll just have to agree to disagree then. I mean, we're friends, yeah? That's what friends do."
She nodded against his shoulder before pulling back from him, turning her face from him, but not before he saw tears streaking down her cheeks, pooling at the bottom of her mask, "yeah, friends," she smiled off into the distance, "now get going you kids, we'll be there waiting for you."
Jake nodded, pivoting to face Tsu'tey, who was looking down at him with soft eyes before turning and leading them wordlessly towards his íkran.
It wasn't a graceful endeavor to get Jake secured to Tsu'tey's back, requiring a good bit of grappling and help from Neytiri and an expected loss of dignity on Jake's part, but eventually they were satisfied with the job. Jake sat, in a manner of speaking, his arms secure around Tsu'tey's shoulders and stared down at the vacated wheelchair on the ground nearby.
They had no reason to take it with them, Tsu'tey could carry him in the brief time it would be necessary, and he soon would never need it again. It wasn't a sad thought, he didn't like the device by any stretch of the word, but in a way, without his knowledge or permission, it had become a part of him. He had lost his legs and gained that chair, and a part of him had replaced them, one for one, in his mind.
It felt strange to leave it, to know that it would sit there without him, going on existing without the context of him. Then again, the whole day was strange, so what was one more strange thing.
-x-
A crowd of blue bodies wasn't what Jake wanted to see as they approached the small rookery. He wished that the majority of the reason was because his nerves were on edge due to the adrenaline filled trip he'd just been on or the event that was about to take place, but he knew that it was really because he didn't want them seeing him like this.
He had finally started to earn his place, gained some respect, he didn't want them to see him so small and weak, carried around like a child, an invalid.
"I am sorry, my Jake," Tsu'tey spoke over his shoulder as they landed, his voice nearly drowned out by the chatter and cheers of the crowd, "we tried to tell them not to come."
"It's okay," Jake tried for a smile, pressing his hand flat against the other man's chest in reassurance.
Neytiri met them quickly as they landed, having gotten untethering herself and Trudy down to a science, so she could assist in removing Jake as quickly as possible and he couldn't remember ever feeling more grateful for his friend.
Almost before he could realize what was happening, Jake felt himself slipping from Tsu'tey's back and into Neytiri's arms, only to be passed into Tsu'tey's hands, where he was settled into a bridal hold, which was probably the best he could hope for.
"Jake-Sully!" A dozen tiny voices called out below him.
He stretched his neck past Tsu'tey's arm to find, with some relief, that the majority of the crowd consisted of Omaticaya children, who were staring up at him with sparkling golden eyes.
He dared to look past the sea of miniature faces to the larger figures present. He wasn't surprised to see the young warriors that remained so enamored with him, along with several more seasoned tribe members he recognized from the many hunting and scouting parties he'd been part in. The dread he'd felt upon their approach melted away as he looked into their faces and saw none of the judgment or disgust he had so feared. Instead, the crowd was looking at him with excitement and wonder, as if he was a friend they were meeting in person for the first time, and he had to fight the tears that pricked at his eyes.
He turned away from their open faces to look up at Tsu'tey, who was staring at him with a questioning, worried expression.
Jake gave him a soft smile, which seemed to ease the tension in his shoulders, "can you set me down for a moment?"
Tsu'tey's brows drew together at the request, "are you certain, my Jake?"
"Yeah," he chuckled, reaching up and cupping Tsu'tey's cheek in a small, pale hand, "it's fine, it'll just be for a moment."
Tsu'tey nodded before dipping down and setting Jake on a rock, putting him just above the children's eye level.
"Jake-Sully!" The sea of children cheered again, rushing around him, reaching for him with grabbing hands.
"Be gentle!" Tsu'tey snapped, which only gave them pause for a moment before they were back to swarming him.
"Why must Tsu'tey carry you?" One of them asked, their eyes wide.
"I was also a warrior on my planet," Jake said, cutting off whatever chastisement had been about to come out of Tsu'tey's mouth, "I was injured in battle and now this body can't walk."
This revelation was met with quiet chatter among the children, gentle hands pressing against his legs, though he could not feel them.
"Is this how you saw Jake-Sully in your dreams? In his human body?" One of the children asked, looking up, not at all intimidated by Tsu'tey's stern face.
"Yes," Tsu'tey replied in a voice warning of his waning patience, "of course. Jake has only had his Dreamwalker body for a short while."
The child nodded at this before continuing, "will you miss it when he looks like us forever and this body is gone?"
"You ask too many questions," Tsu'tey snapped, then took a breath and schooled his expression into something calmer, "I have many fond memories of Jake in his human form, but he is not his body. My love for him goes beyond his physical form."
The children nodded soberly at this, seeming to consider the concept, before one of them looked up at Tsu'tey with a serious look marring her round features, "so you would love him even if he looked like a Kenten?"
Silence stretched out between them, Tsu'tey seeming wonder if the child actually meant the question and genuinely wanted to know if he would love Jake if he looked like a fan lizard, while the child seemed to be waiting to see if Tsu'tey would actually answer.
In the end, the stalemate was broken by the sea of children bursting into laughter, Jake following quickly behind them.
"Do not encourage them, my Jake," Tsu'tey glared down at the children, who paid him absolutely no mind.
Jake could only continue laughing as Tsu'tey scooped him back up in his arms, which elicited whines and protests from the children, who looked like they had half a mind to scale Tsu'tey and take Jake back from him by force.
"We must be going," Tsu'tey said, his voice clipped with finality, leaving no room for argument, "the Olo'eyktan and Tsahìk are waiting for us and we have taken long enough as it is."
This was met with grumbles from the children, which was met with chuckles from the surrounding adults, who had been content watching the spectacle unfold before them.
At that, they set off on the short walk to Hometree, the various warriors in attendance taking turns sidling up beside Tsu'tey to chat with Jake.
It was a nice distraction, if a temporary one, from the reality of what was to come.
When they reached the common area, Mo'at and Eytukan were standing in the center, looking on at them with calm, expressionless faces, Grace and Norm standing near them at a respectful distance.
"Jake-Sully," Mo'at greeted as they reached her, her round eyes taking him in, "I see you."
"I see you," Jake said in a hushed voice, feeling overwhelmed with the sentiment.
"You two," Mo'at fixed Neytiri and Tsu'tey with an even expression, "will take your mates to prepare them in private. We will send for you when it is time. Trudy-Chacon will go first, then Jake-Sully. The rest of the day will be spent in celebration."
Jake might have heard himself agree, somewhere in the back of his mind, but he couldn't quite be sure as he was carried off, up the spirals of Hometree and into a small alcove.
Inside, lit by torch light, was a small pot of paint, and Jake felt relieved that this part, at least, was familiar to him.
Tsu'tey paused in the middle of the room for a moment before kneeling to set him down, his hands trembling slightly against Jake's skin just before their contact broke.
"Hey," Jake reached out to catch Tsu'tey's hand in his, before he could retreat too far away from him, "I'm not going anywhere. I promise."
Tsu'tey looked like he wanted to argue, wanted to counter that Jake couldn't possibly promise that, but he stopped himself, choosing instead to stay silent and try to meet Jake's eyes.
"So, what do I need to do?" Jake asked, staring up at Tsu'tey, torn between never wanting to leave this moment and wanting to go ahead and get everything over with.
"You must remove your top layer of clothing," Tsu'tey instructed, his tone unreadable.
Jake managed a chuckle at that, "oh yeah? If that's what you wanted from me, all you had to do was ask."
Tsu'tey shot him a scathing look, "your attempts to fluster me with flirtations will not work, my Jake," but there was a slight flush to his cheeks that betrayed his words.
"I'm just teasing," Jake rolled his eyes as he went to pull off his shirt, "it's not like I could do much of anything anyway." He gave a dismissive shrug, gesturing down at his lower body before tugging one leg towards him so he could reach his shoe to slip it and his sock off his foot.
"I do not know how to respond to that," Tsu'tey muttered, busying himself with the pot of paint so he could pretend he wasn't watching Jake undress out of the corner of his eye.
"I'm just trying to cheer you up a little," Jake breathed out, working off his other shoe.
"Perhaps I do not want to be cheered up," Tsu'tey said under his breath, his mouth set in a line.
"Oh, I'm very aware you don't want to be cheered up," Jake snorted, throwing a sock at the other man's head, before starting on the button of his pants, "you never want to be cheered up when you get like this. And don't give me any lip about you not 'getting any sort of way,' because you do, any time things don't go your way or you get embarrassed or you feel lost, you get pissy and you mope for days until things either work themselves out or someone forces you out of it. I watched it happen when we were kids and you fell off your pa'li the first time and when H'ala pushed you in a river and when your training group found out you were afraid of the dark. You apparently did the same thing when I got shot and then you did it for six years when I was traveling here.
"Neytiri might've let it slide, but I'm not going to. We've only got a little while longer until this thing is happening and I'm not spending the whole time with you sulking because you're worried about the worst case scenario. Because here's the thing, say the worst case scenario does happen, which it won't, how will you have wanted to spend your last moments with me? Brooding in silence? Or enjoying it together?"
Tsu'tey huffed, staring down at the sock that had been launched at his head, before looking up at Jake with a soft smile, "you know me too well, my Jake."
"I know you the perfect amount," Jake grinned from behind his mask, "now come over here and paint like one of your French girls."
"You did not even like that movie," Tsu'tey gave a small shake of his head and chuckled, traveling the few feet of distance between them on his knees, before settling in front of Jake.
They fell into silence, while Tsu'tey dipped his fingers into the paint and began tracing swirling patterns across Jake's skin.
"My mother never let me get away with it either... sulking, that it, if you must call it that," Tsu'tey said quietly, a blush burning navy across his cheeks.
"I remember," Jake smiled, thinking back to memories of Tsu'tey's mother tracking him down to wherever he'd gone off to and hid, poking at his forehead and telling him he couldn't run away from his problems.
"She would have adored you," Tsu'tey said with a sad smile.
"I'm glad I got to know her," Jake smiled, staring past the entrance to the alcove, his heart heavy in his chest, "even if I never really got to meet her."
"I used to tell her about you," the blush crept up from his cheeks to the tips of his ears, "I would wait until I knew you were awake so you would not see. I did not want to frighten you, I knew you still thought I was just a dream, but..." Tsu'tey's voice wavered slightly with the memory, "I would tell her all about you— about all the fights you had gotten into, all the trouble you had caused, all the adventures you had snuck to, all the drawing you had made of me."
Now it was Jake's turn to blush, "you saw all those?"
The smile Tsu'tey gave him then sent warmth blooming inside his chest, "every single one."
"What'd your mom think of you having a delinquent as a soulmate?" Jake asked with a quirk of his lips, unable to resist reaching out and brushing his fingertips against the other man's jaw.
Tsu'tey laughed, and it was the first time Jake had heard the noise in days, it sounded like music, "she loved it," he grasped at Jake's wrist with the hand not covered in paint, pulling it back so he could press a kiss against his palm, "she thought you were perfect."
They were pulled from the moment when a faint cheer erupted from outside the alcove. They looked at each other, a confusing mix of relief and dread settling over them.
"I guess that means Trudy's worked," Jake said, hating to have to look at Tsu'tey through the thick barrier of the mask.
"That is good," Tsu'tey said, and he meant it, of course, but Trudy's ritual being complete meant that soon it would be Jake's turn and success for one did not guarantee success for the other.
Tsu'tey was not prepared to bury both of his bondmate's bodies that day, he was barely prepared to bury one.
"Hey," Jake reached out again, this time with both hands, cupping Tsu'tey's jaw as best he could, "don't spiral, stay with me, please."
Tsu'tey took a calming breath, willing himself to stay grounded, present, "I am here, I will be here with you the whole time, you need not worry."
"Good," Jake gave a shaky smile, "now I'm going to do something and you're going to let me and you're not going to freak out."
Tsu'tey was about to argue, but it died in his throat when he saw Jake take in a deep breath before reaching behind his head and slipping the mask from his face.
"Jake," Tsu'tey started, but was silenced again with a slight shaking of the other man's head. So, he simply watched as Jake reached toward him, and allowed himself to be pulled forward until their lips met in a gentle kiss.
It was the first kiss he had shared with this body and he knew it would be the last. So, he allowed himself to savor it, to forget the dangers associated with it for a moment, until Jake was pulling back and fixing his mask back on his face, inhaling deeply once the seal was in place.
"That was foolish," Tsu'tey said, despite the flush making its way all the way down his throat.
"Worth it," Jake grinned, and Tsu'tey pretended he didn't agree.
It wasn't a second or so later that a figure appeared in the opening of the small room. Sya'o stood, stoic as she ever was, her hands clasped behind her back.
"Tsu'tey, Jake-Sully, it is time."
They could only nod at her before Jake felt himself being lifted up into Tsu'tey's arms once more.
-x-
They didn't look out as they went, didn't stare down in the direction of the tree of souls, didn't look up into the canopy, they could only stare at each other and it was a wonder they didn't fall.
It spoke to Sya'o's patience and dedication to her work, or perhaps some measure of empathy, that she did not grow outwardly frustrated with the pace Tsu'tey took, dragging out the short walk as much as possible. It wasn't long, however, until soft soil gave way the stone boarder marking their destination.
The crowd was mercifully silent as they passed, though some of them, those who knew them, lifted their hands to brush against Tsu'tey's legs as he walked, offering some semblance of comfort and support.
Jake was conscious of his surroundings, of the glow of the tendrils around them, the sunlight pouring through the branches, of the rows and rows of Omaticaya sat around the clearing, his own Na'vi body laying empty at Mo'at's feet near the truck of the great tree, but he couldn't focus on any of it. The only thing he could bare to look at was Tsu'tey's eyes, never wavering in their gaze, because... if this was it, if this went wrong, if these were his last moments, he couldn't stomach the thought of looking anywhere else.
He was vaguely aware that they had stopped, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was that he was there with Tsu'tey, that's all that had ever mattered.
"My child, you must set him here," Mo'at's voice cut through their haze, and a part of Jake wanted to grab Tsu'tey by the chin and tell him he'd changed his mind, that this wasn't worth it, that he wasn't willing to gamble anything if it meant he might lose his future with him. He managed to close his throat around the words, though, instead reaching up to pull Tsu'tey's head down until he could press his mask to the other's forehead, wishing more than anything that he could get closer.
"This will all be over soon," Mo'at soothed as Tsu'tey knelt down, lowering Jake among the roots of the tree, his whole body shaking like it caused him great physical pain to do so.
As Jake lay flat along the ground, the felt tendrils rise from the soil, felt them crawl their way up his limbs, up his ribs and spine, until they were pressing against the back of his neck and he felt himself begin to drift away.
It was warm and comforting, but something in him, the part of himself that had never let him rest or give anyone around him a moment of peace in his life, made him snap his eyes open.
He locked his gaze onto Tsu'tey, who had never left his side, and ripped his arms away from the seeking tendrils. He reached out, gripping Tsu'tey by the back of the neck, forcing him to look at him, to listen to his every word, not that he had any doubt that he had the man's undivided attention.
"You better fucking be right here when I get back," Jake snapped, his eyes wide and wild, "because I don't care what's on the other side of this, I don't care how nice or pretty it is, I'm gonna be right back. Because I'm always coming after you, alright? It's always going to be you and me so, just fucking... tell me... tell me you'll see me in a second, okay?"
His breath was coming out ragged, and he knew he sounded half mad, but he didn't care about anyone else. He only cared about the man in front of him, who reached out his hand and smoothed it over his cropped hair, thumbing at his ear, his eyes so full of love and understanding, "yes, my Jake, I will see you in a second."
Something eased in Jake's chest, and he nodded, before releasing his hold on Tsu'tey and allowing himself to fall back to the ground. He didn't offer Mo'at an apology, he wasn't sorry, he just closed his eyes and allowed the tendrils to inch their way back up until he felt himself being pulled back into that warm darkness again.
There was nothing for a moment, then there was a bright light bursting before his eyes and he felt a tugging sensation just above his naval. He had the wherewithal to consider it rather cliché, if he was dying, that he had found out by being hurdled towards some blinding light.
But, the light transformed after a breath, fracturing and reforming until it was thousands upon thousands of soft glowing orbs, stretching out farther than he could fathom.
He realized, if he focused, if he strained his ears, that it sounded as if they were all saying his name—shouting it out in thousands of different voice.
He looked out into the sea of endless light and knew what he saw, knew he was looking out into the spirits of all those who had come before them, the ancestors who somehow knew his name, and he felt so unworthy.
He took a breath as he felt, though he wasn't sure how he knew, that he was reaching the end of his journey, and began to shout at the top of his lungs, "Artsut! Ateyo! Arvok! I promise..." his voice cracked, but he forced himself to continue, "I promise to take care of your son, your brother! I love him. I love him more than anything! We'll meet again someday, and... we'll tell you... we'll tell you about everything we've done, all the trouble we've gotten into, all the adventures we've been on, all the friends we've made. But until then... I'll keep him safe! I promise you!"
His voice was hoarse by the time he finished, his face wet, but he didn't notice any of it, because the voices all around him had quieted, the lights dulled until only three remained bright and loud before him, chanting his name in voices he remembered from so many years ago.
"I promise," he whispered out once more before everything faded around him until he was wading in a familiar inky blackness, still being tugged ever further into the void.
The tugging began to slow until it came to a stop entirely and Jake suddenly had the sensation of breaching the surface of some vast body of water after having dove too deep.
He became aware that he could once again feel the ground beneath him, the roots of the Tree of Souls digging into his shoulder blades, then the deafening sound of cheers hit his ears and he nearly laughed as he felt himself being enveloped in familiar arms before he'd even had the chance to open his eyes.
"I told you I'd be right back, didn't I?" Jake laughed into Tsu'tey's shoulder and if the two of them were crying, everyone was too busy celebrating to notice.
I know this chapter was a lot and there were a lot of emotional and meaningful moments... but I wrote that stupid Titanic reference and it was so dumb, but the idea of poor Tsu'tey having to sit through the entire Titanic movie and then Jake not even liking it at the end was so fucking funny to me I didn't have the heart to cut it out.