IT'S CHANGED (SNILY)

CHAPTER 12 Deal or Death

The quill scratched on the paper forgetting it will scar the paper, but it was the way. The open window giving a path-way to whistling breezes, caressing his dark, soft hair. The tapping of the shoe could have infuriated any living being, but the small presence of nature in the place neglected it well. He sat in an ocean of open books and parchments sending the waves of old-booky smell of the library in the room. He sat in a chair of Lily's room with a forest-green t-shirt and black pants. They fit him and suited him.

Mr. Evans insisted on buying them, overlooking all his protests. He bought many more clothes for him. Severus knew it would have been costly but Mr. Evans' answer was always that 'it was nothing'. He even tried to pay back, but Mrs. Evans took offence of that and refused profusely. He sighed.

"Severus" a shout came from down the stairs, he flinched, not because of the shrillness -that was almost missing- but because of the suddenness. "Come downstairs, Lily found the movie"

"Coming" he called back, and regarded the mess around him. Lily was going to kill him if she watches what he had done of her study table. However, it was her new habit of blaming the mess on the table on him. He knew she never liked to clean up, though the dishes always went to her. He rolled his eyes.

"What movie are we watching?" he asked entering the living room.

Lily looked back. "If only I could call you mine"

For a second, he froze, wondering if it were the title or a genuine statement. He came to his senses soon, blushing at his imagination he cleared his throat. "Oh?" was all he could manage.

Lily smirked. Severus was adorable.

She started the movie and sat beside him, Petunia on the winged chair beside Lily.

The movie wasn't bad. Unlike its name it was quite thrilling and cryptic. Was keeping Severus on edge. Err… it had some extra effects on Lily, though. She was sitting on the edge of the sofa and her one hand gripping Severus' mid-thigh. She wasn't realizing it.

And Severus was worried about the hand lingering at the dangerous spot. He kept a constant eye on Lily's grip.

The footsteps moved closer and their echo could have been heard in the entire room. Who kept so high volume? The leather soles of the shoes clanked slowly on the wooden floor of an empty room. The person in the movie walked stealthily towards the door, coming nearer to the wall. And the door burst open.

Lily jumped and moved her hand to grip Severus' hand. But, well in the way her hand brushed more than a bit gently on his groin. Pictures ran through his mind. Severus closed his eyes, trying the control himself, but he realized that some parts of his anatomy are out of his command. The blood rushed south and he could feel the growing swelling of his manhood. His heart started beating faster and it took everything to stop his breath from hitching. He brushed Lily's hand away from his, to concentrate on not embarrassing himself now.

Lily looked at Severus, confused. His hands hid his face, but she could see the tense, creases on his face. His entire body seemed stiff. She frowned.

"Is everything alright, Sev?" she kept a hand on his knee, moving it round, making the situation worse.

Severus barely suppressed a moan, causing Lily to jerk the hand back.

"I'm fine" his voice was strained. "I'll be right back" he got up gently from the couch, a little bent, clutching the hem of his t-shirt and walked out of the room.

She looked at Petunia for a hint but she seemed too immersed in the movie, popping pop-corns in her mouth. The room was dark, perhaps, she hadn't noticed that Severus was behaving weird and just walked out.

She leaned in the couch. Boys are weird, she thought to herself. That is when light dawned to her. Boys. Severus was a boy too. It's not like she has not seen him as a boy, but almost forgot about his anatomy.

She blushed. What did she do? Oh? Was that the gripping of his thigh? Or the hand? Her eyes widened. Or the part she brushed between them? Merlin. She was such a fool.

She blushed redder. She caused it? She aroused him? Just by a touch? Was that even possible? She felt rather smug of it, not that she would ever admit it.

Her thoughts drifted totally in the direction. How would it be like to touch it really? Hold it? In her mouth? A slight tingle ran down between her legs and she shook her head, taking a deep breath. She shouldn't be thinking about her best friend like that. What would Severus think of her? She blamed the thoughts on hormones.

Should she apologize when he comes back? Or perhaps, ignore it? What would he be thinking about her?

After a moment, Severus came back and sat on the couch a little farther from Lily. His red face even evident in the dark. He couldn't dare look at Lily's face. Merlin, he was such a fool. She might think he was a sex-hungry-pervert. What if she started feeling unsafe with him?

Perhaps, he would soon be kicked out of the house too. He must simply go upstairs and already start packing. Merlin… He wanted Selene here.

Both of them stared on the T.V. screen, their minds elsewhere. Petunia rounded and faced them.

"The movie's over" she sounded amused. "What are you two staring at?"

They turned to Petunia, flushed. She had no idea.

"Umm… nothing just thinking about something" Lily sputtered. "The movie was really… interesting, wasn't it?" she gave an awkward smile.

"Yeah… it was fine" Severus said nervously. He wiped his sweaty palms on his trousers.

"Fine, then" Petunia left, leaving the other two in awkward silence.

*Page Break*

Petunia returned after a few minutes, only the find the other two sitting in the similar positions, as if carved in stone. The air was thick with the awkwardness. She frowned. What was up with both of them? They both could talk the entire world in a matter of seconds and now they both sitting together, not talking.

She walked and stood in front of them to ask what had happened? Before which a pop sound in the middle of the room, rang in their ears, causing them all to jump.

A short creature with a long, thin nose, bat-like ears and large, bulging green eyes stood bowing to them. He wore an old pillowcase that looked worse than any of Severus' old clothes.

"Dobby!" Severus prompted, while Lily looked at him confused and Petunia gasped loudly in alarm.

"Master Severus, sir, Dobby has a message for Master from Master Malfoy, sir" Dobby looked up.

"From Lucius?" it surprised him. What did he want now?

Before Dobby could answer, Lily spoke up. "He is from Malfoy, Sev?" her voice dripped scepticism.

"Yes" he replied, all the other embarrassments forgotten.

"How does he know where you are?" she was worried.

"House-elves can come and go anywhere" he explained. "Anti- apparition wards don't affect them either. They can do anything for their master"

"Dobby can come and go anywhere his Master commands. Sometimes, he even asks Dobby to go to places that are dangerous but-" Doddy gasped loudly and started banging his head on the wall. "Bad Dobby, bad Dobby. Dobby shouldn't be saying bad things about his Master" he continued to bang his head on the wall.

Petunia shrunk in the opposite wall, her jaw hanging. Lily tried not to touch him, lest she breaks a bone. "Dobby, will you please stop, no need to hurt yourself" she pleaded.

Severus on the other hand went and gripped his arms backwards. "Dobby, stop it. Dobby!" he screamed making Dobby pause. "I am one of your masters, am I not?" Dobby nodded.

"So, do pay some respect to me and don't do any such thing that harms you"

"Dobby respects Master Severus, sir. Master Severus is being too kind to Dobby" Dobby's huge green eyes filled with fat tears and he gripped Severus' knees just when he stood up.

"Dobby, Dobby. Calm down. Would you please tell me what the message is?" he kept his voice from growling. He never liked over emotional house-elves. And unfortunately, all were like that.

"What- who is he?!" Petunia yelped from the corner of the room, finding her voice after long.

Lily rolled her eyes. "He is a house-elf, they work for wizards and witches" she explained.

"Why is he here?"

"If you only let him speak, Petunia" Severus snapped vexedly.

She glared at him but didn't speak anything.

"Now why are you here, Dobby?" his irritation revealing itself, making Dobby flinch. He regretted speaking to him like that. He knew how his life was at the Malfoy's.

"Master Malfoy, sir, wants to meet Master Severus, sir. Master Lucius, sir, had ordered Dobby to apparate Master Severus, sir, there" Dobby bowed.

Severus and Lily's heart leaped a beat. Their eyes grew wide and they turned to each other. Lily came to him and stood slightly ahead of him, protectively and addressed Dobby.

"Why does he want Sev there?" her voice trembled.

"Miss, Master Malfoy don't tell Dobby, his plans, Dobby is only ordered" he voiced timidly, afraid he disappointed someone.

Lily looked ready to lash out, but a gentle hand on her shoulder paused her.

"He truly wouldn't know, Lily" he told her. "Dobby, would you tell me from where did Lucius ordered you?"

Dobby nodded, his bat-like flapping on either side of his head. "Yes, Master Severus, sir. Master Malfoy, sir, was in his study when he ordered Dobby" he answered meekly.

"Did he look worn out at that time?"

"No, Master Severus, sir" he wriggled his hands, worrying if the information he was giving would somehow anger his Master.

"And was he wearing black or dressing up?"

"No, Master Severus, sir"

Severus sighed in relief. He looked at Lily. "He just wants to talk about something. It is entirely safe" he said in a low voice.

Lily was still not relieved. "I don't think you must go, Sev" she gripped his hand with both her hands, subconsciously.

"Lily, don't worry, it's fine. I have been there before" he assured. "Lucius wouldn't harm me"

"But what if he takes you to You-Know-Who?" she whispered.

He shook his head, keeping his free hand over her clasped ones. "No, Lily, that is why asked Dobby all these questions. He will merely talk. We are friends, he just wants to know what am I doing"

"Come back or I'll kill you for such a disturbing risk" she hugged him tightly, as if it was their last.

Severus was touched by her concern. He hugged her back. Perhaps, he would not be kicked out of the house second time, after all.

They broke free before Dobby apparated him to the Malfoy Manor with a crack in the air.

*Page Break*

Magnificent. As always, the Malfoy Manor looked prestigious from inside and the one-time Severus had seen it from the outside, it looked beautiful and he was certain it still did.

He stood alone in Lucius' study, trying to keep himself from gawking. He went to the stacked books in a corner. As it was, the entire the study was filled with books but a secluded pile stood in a small shelf beside Lucius' table. The area where it was kept was dimly lit, compared to the rest of the study.

He got his first actual Dark Arts book from this study. He smiled a sad smile. What if it would have never happened?

He ran his fingers on them. A jolt of something ran through his body. He looked around to see what caused it. Perhaps, a privacy spell that doesn't allow others to touch them. But it wasn't something like that. He had faced a securing curse before. In the same study. He grimaced at the memory.

But if not that, then what? He ran his fingers on the black leather book- no, it was a diary- again. The effect came only with more force. He felt dizzy. He had to keep a hand to his forehead to steady himself.

He didn't know what possessed him to do that, but all self-preservation left in him was over-powered by a strong sense of curiosity. He grabbed the diary out of the shelf.

As he had suspected, it was black and of leather. His fingers brushed a small carving at the bottom of it. He had to almost squint to read it.

Tom Marvolo Riddle.

He frowned. That name sounded familiar.

A very sudden and extremely urge emerged in him that forced him to open it the book. His hands went to the edge of the two cover-pages and he was about the slash them apart when…

"Ah, I see you are here, Severus" A voice from his back brought him to the present. He fought the urge to keep going and swiftly placed the book back into its original place and turned to face Lucius.

He forced a smile. "Lucius" he nodded.

Lucius went and sat on the couch, patting the place beside him, beckoning Severus. Severus did, though he made himself look comfortable, he was actually sitting on edge, ready for whatever comes.

Lucius' face was slightly strained and his eyes seemed anxious. They were so well hidden that it would have escaped a normal person's gaze. A frown took over Severus' face. What was wrong?

Lucius was hesitating, as well. He cleared his throat. "You haven't got your O. results yet, have you?"

Severus shook his head. "No, not yet. But I'm expecting it in a few days"

"Hmm. And your other studies are going well?" this just proved how bad Slytherins were in small talks.

"Yes. They are fine"

"So, what have you thought of doing after Hogwarts?" What was this, and interview?

Severus gave an exasperated sigh. "Potions Mastery. That is what I have decided to do"

Lucius was finally decided to get the object. His face darkened. "And what about joining the ranks?"

Severus was aware this was coming sooner or later. He dipped his head in the acknowledgement of the question. "I haven't given much thought to it, Lucius. I was mostly busy with the studies"

Lucius did not seem fazed. He rather seemed to be expecting such a diplomatic answer. "So, if I ask you now, what your answer would be?"

"I need time to think, Lucius"

"Severus, what has changed you?" he asked sceptically. "A year ago, your answer simply was yes"

Severus nodded confidentially. "It was, I agree. But with recent events keeping in mind, I believe I need to sort my priorities"

Lucius' brows furrowed. "Has this something to do with your new friends- Ah… and that Muggle-born girl?"

Severus stiffened. Though, he knew Lucius was aware of whomever he met, he didn't want to bring Lily or any of his friends in his conversations and associations with the Death-Eaters.

"Why would say that?" he asked carefully.

Lucius smiled. "Well, you have surely spent much time with them"

"My decisions are my own, Lucius, no one influence them"

He laughed. "No one influence them? There are many things you don't know about, influences your decisions, Severus" he said knowingly.

"Come to the point, Lucius" he hissed.

A shadow crossed Lucius' face. The anxiety in his eyes took residence again.

"You remember the last Hogsmeade visit, don't you, Severus?" he said in a dangerously calm tone, it gave shivers to Severus.

"Yes"

"You remember what happened with you?"

"Yes, I do" where was this going?

"A snake bit you" Lucius trembled in the slightest.

Severus nodded. What did Lucius know that he wasn't getting on? Something was definitely wrong? And connected to the snake?

"What saved you from its venom?"

Severus didn't know if he must say it, but then everyone knew about Dumbledore's phoenix. So, he gave in. "The headmaster's phoenix's tears"

Lucius raised his eyebrows. "I was wondering" he muttered. "You know nothing works on that poison; you were fortunate to find Dumbledore there"

Severus nodded, still not getting the direction of the conversations.

Lucius leaned a bit. "It was the Dark Lord's snake. Nagini"

Severus' head shot up and his wide eyes met Lucius'. He had harmed the Dark Lord's snake? Was he here for his own death? Why did he not listen to Lily? Panic swelled in his chest and sweat broke from his forehead. What was he going to do?

"And you used your curse on her, making it impossible even for the Dark Lord to heal her"

Severus' mouth felt dry as sand. "Is she dead?" was all he could manage.

"No. I healed her. You had showed me the counter-curse" Lucius pointed out.

A sigh of relief left him. If he is here for his death, it at least wouldn't be painful? "Is he going to kill me?" he blurted out.

Lucius shook his head. "No. You have a choice"

"Choice?" he mumbled dubiously.

"He is highly impressed by you. He wants you to join his ranks and he'll spare your life"

"What if I say no?" he growled.

But Lucius remained overly calm. "Then you'll be killed"

Severus narrowed his eyes. "He has threatened you, hasn't he? He'll have you before his wand if he doesn't get me, isn't it?" he sat up on the edge.

Lucius gave a very minute, grim nod. "He will kill me and Narcissa both and I don't want that"

Severus jumped up from his seat. "Then why not drag me to him and get me killed or marked?" he yelled.

Lucius rose from his seat gracefully. "He doesn't want any spies in his ranks. Certainly not you as one" he still remained calm.

"Then my answer's a NO!" Severus broke out.

Lucius bowed his head and when he raised it, his eyes seemed slightly red at the borders.

"I won't lose Narcissa, Severus" he eyed him warningly. "Your little friends and that Mudblood will die before I see that day" he shouted, his spittles blowing in every direction.

"You think life is a trade-"

He started screaming but was cut because of Narcissa's elegant figure standing on the door frame. Severus could swear, even his rage, that he saw her eyes flicker to the small shelf kept in the corner of Lucius' table.

She stepped in between them and regarded Severus. She smiled. "Still behind that Muggle-born girl, aren't you, Severus?"

"She is my friend and I will not allow any harm to her" he snarled.

"Of course, she is" she returned calmly. "Nobody wants to see their loved ones to die, Severus"

"What do you mean, Narcissa?" he asked doubtfully.

"Co-operate with us, Severus. We'll with you" she hushed her tone.

"You want me to join the Dark Lord's ranks, so that, you both can save each other" it wasn't a question, the plan was evident.

"We'll keep you and your friends safe in return, Severus" she kept a hand on her forearm. "If you agree, Severus or we'll be left with no choice"

"What will you both be able to do? He won't give a thought before spelling the killing curse on them, if they come so close to his interests" his voice trembled. He knew but never had he voiced out the threat looming over his friends. "What if he asks me to kill them?" he choked.

Narcissa and Lucius looked at each ither but didn't say anything.

He fell on the couch; his head went into his hands. "Kill me now, do it. I don't care. That is what he wants, isn't it?"

"He has further plans, Severus. He won't be killing you so easily" Lucius said in a strained voice. Narcissa kept a hand on his arm, consoling him. It was evident he had been through too much stress, these days.

"He threatens you to kill you and your family because you won't complete a task, and then you have the audacity to push me into it too" Severus' voice calmed and looked straight in their eyes. "I thought I had friends, not traders of my life"

"We don't want it to you, Severus" Narcissa sat beside him, taking his hand into hers. "But do you think we have a choice?"

"You brought it to yourself, it's not my fault. Then why am I being the one to take you out of this?" he responded weakly.

Narcissa left his hands and stood up again. "Then you are ready to leave" she said coldly, her gaze fixed on a distant wall. "Dobby" she called out.

Dobby came in the room with a ringing crack. "Mistress Malfoy, ma'am, called Dobby"

"Take Severus, where ever you brought him from"

Dobby bowed and went to reach for Severus' arm, before which Lucius spoke up with a distant and disappointed voice.

"Do remember, Severus, after this we will not be responsible for what so ever happens"

Severus' response died on his lips as Dobby apparated him.

*Page Break*

He landed on the floor of the living room of the Evans'.

"Thank you, Dobby" he said distractedly. Dobby bowed and left.

Severus stood alone in the middle of the room, consumed by the spreading fear in his body. His friends and Lily were in danger and he could do nothing. he didn't want to lose them. Not even one.

He gripped his hair tightly and ran to the bathroom. He locked himself and turned the shower on to the coldest temperatures.

He let himself soak in the coolness of it. It felt just like his heart and mind, now. Cold. No idea came to his mind. How will he protect them? Perhaps, he should distance himself from them.

He will be alone again. Will feel deserted. But they will be safe. He was the root of all trouble. He must leave the house too. He would go again and live on the park bench. That wasn't so comfortable but it was worth Lily and his friends' lives.

They were too kind on the earth of cruelties to die. He wouldn't let it happen.

He turned the tap off. Dried and dressed himself.

He stood in the middle of his room and smiled. Evans' were lovely. He can't pay them back by taking the life of their daughter.

He took his trunk out from under his bed and began filling it. The clothes, the food, the love he would never be able to pay back their love.

"Sev!" a voice came. "Sev! You are back, aren't you?"

He didn't respond but sat on his bed, closing his eyes and keeping his head in his hands, taking deep breaths.

A knock came. "Sev! Are you in there?"

He still didn't say anything.

Another knock. And the door knob turned.

"Sev!" Lily's voice rand in alarm. "What happened? Are you alright?"

She came hastily and sat beside him. He still didn't give in. He couldn't. He didn't possess the courage to look her in the eye and tell her to distance herself from him.

Lily's face creased in worry and panic rose in her chest. She shook Severus' shoulders. "Severus, tell me what happened?"

He looked up to meet her eyes but hastily lowered them.

Though it was difficult, he had to tell her.

"We talked" he started hoarsely.

"He didn't take you to him, did he?" her voice panicked.

"No, we just… talked"

"About what?"

"He- I- You remember the snake at Hogsmeade?"

She nodded. "Yes, I remember"

"It- She belongs to the Dark Lord" his voice lowered to a mere whisper.

Lily gasped. "And you cursed her. She is alive, right? Good" she frowned. "Then what?"

Severus shook his head. Sometimes Lily was so naïve. "He was not able to heal her. Lucius did it because I showed him the counter-curse to that" he gripped the book that was kept in his lap since he stopped packing, to keep his hands from shaking. "He is impressed by me, wants me in his ranks"

Lily's eyes grew wider and she gripped Severus' shoulder even tighter, her finger nails digging in his flesh. "And you refused" she had confidence in him.

He still didn't look up, but nodded. "I refused"

"And what will he do to take his rage out?" she knew You-Know-Who wouldn't leave him so easily.

He gave a low, mirthless chuckle. "Lucius is given the task to bring me to him or he'll kill him and Narcissa" he took a deep breath. "He doesn't want to do it forcefully because he doubts that if I turn into a spy against them, then it will again be his end and the Dark Lord's displeasure"

"So, what did he propose?"

"My rejection will only get them killed and so Narcissa offered me to join his ranks and in return give your safety" his voice wavered. "And if I don't, you all are easy targets, but joining will make you near to his inquiries, again easy to be killed. I don't know what to do, Lily?" he choked.

Lily for the first time took a good sight of the room, she was in. Severus' trunk was laid on the floor, open, his clothes thrown in it. His books stuffed in a corner of the trunk. One kept above all, delicately, seemingly cherished the most. That was the one Lily gave him. She smiled sadly, and then took in that how big of a fool Severus was.

"So, you were thinking of distancing yourself from us, so that we remain safe?" she asked as if talking to a five-year old.

"Lily- I- That is the only way to let you out of his target areas" he responded, controlling himself from breaking.

Lily left his shoulders and he closed his eyes. Of course, he was putting them in danger, she won't want him around, anymore.

But he will try to keep himself satisfied by seeing her alive and with whomever she was, happy.

He felt the weight on his side, leave. She must be going to leave for him to pack and have a goodbye ready. He tilted his face away from where she sat.

A shuffling noise, followed by many more. Was she stuffing his things in his bag faster, so that he can leave as soon as possible? He sighed painfully. This was going to hurt bad.

He opened his eyes and stood up, just to see Lily taking his things from the trunk out and folding them weirdly into the cupboard.

She turned to him and smiled sweetly, taking all of Severus' heart. "I don't know how to fold like you do, Sev. I hope this is fine"

"What are you doing?" he breathed.

"Correcting your stupidity" she said as if it was the most obvious thing.

His mind wasn't working. "I am leaving, Lily. I need things in the trunk"

"I don't believe that. You are staying here" she shrugged.

"Lily" he screeched. She turned to him, giving him her full attention, her arms crossed. "They'll kill you, your family, all, Shane, Selene, Austin, Charm, their families…" he was panting till the end.

"I am a Mudblood to them, Selene and Charm's families are already known Blood traitors and well, half-bloods don't matter much to them" she stood straighter and looked directly in his eyes prove her point. "Without you, do you believe we are out of danger"

Severus blinked. "But the risk will be less, Lily" he offered poorly, a lump growing in his throat.

She came and took his hands into hers. "We'll figure it out. We have two friends of ours in the Auror training, they have contacts. They will cast the protection charms on our houses"

She moved one of her hands to keep on his cheek. It was smooth other than the slight bumps of acne scars. "Everything will be fine" her words shone sincerity.

"Lily, if you all die, I'll never be able to forgive myself" his voice cracked and tears leaked from his eyes.

She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Shh… Sev. That day would never come. I promise"

He sobbed and she moved her fingers through his hair. They were smooth, not at all greasy. She rubbed her hands on his back, subconsciously feeling his building muscles. He was beautiful. Only if one day he accepts the fact. She smiled and pulled away, wiping the track of tears from his cheeks. He blushed.

"Honestly, Sev" she rolled her eyes on him earning a small smile.

"Now, what gave you the idea of Aurors, it just didn't pop in your head, I am aware" he teased.

She smacked him on the cheek. "Couldn't it just actually pop in my head"

"It can be, but it wasn't" he narrowed his eyes in mock-thought.

"Yeah, fine. Alice and Frank invited us for dinner after some days. That gave me the idea" she revealed, sticking slight tongue out of the corner of her lips.

Severus groaned. "Another lunch"

"Come on, Sev, now stop with those tantrums of yours and help me clean the room"

"Yeah…"

He paused after a moment. Something else happened too, at the Manor. But he couldn't remember. He had to tell that to Lily. What?

He shrugged. Dismissing the idea for the time-being.